Rick Warren's Blog, page 659

Happiness Comes from Harmony and Humility

"Though
he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a
slave and was born as a human being. He humbled himself in obedience to God and
died a criminal's death on a cross."� (Philippians 2:6-8 NLT)

Happiness
comes from harmony, and harmony comes from humility. If you want to be a humble
person, you have to learn to ask yourself a question: "What would Jesus do?"
What would Jesus do in this problem? What would Jesus do for that person who's
hurting? What would Jesus do at the office? On the golf course? What would
Jesus do in your marriage?

Ask
this question, and you'll always come up with a humble answer that builds
harmony and happiness rather than difficulty, defeat, bitterness, and
resentment.

So,
what does it mean to act like Jesus? Philippians 2 gives us three examples:

Don't demand what you
think you deserve. Philippians
2:6 says, "Though he was God, he did not
think of equality with God as something to cling to" (NLT).

Do
you realize how counter cultural it is to give up your right to something? Yes,
you have rights, but there's a better way to get your needs met than demanding
your rights. You can be tender without surrender, and you can be understanding
without demanding.

Look for ways that
you can serve. Philippians
2:7 says, "Instead, he gave up his divine
privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human
being."

If
you want to be like Jesus, you're going to have to learn to serve.

Do what's right even
when it's painful. Philippians
2:8 says, "He humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death
on a cross."

Jesus
is the ultimate model of humility, and God gave him the greatest honor in the
universe. God honors your humility, too, when you follow Jesus' example and do
these three things.

Talk It Over

What are some ways you can be
"tender without surrender" in a relationship?How can you serve someone without having to be asked?

Give the Gift of Your Attention

"Do not
be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others."
(Philippians 2:4 NCV)

We
live in an ADD world. It seems like everybody's got Attention Deficit Disorder
because our tools and technology have left us perpetually distracted, and we no
longer pay attention to the people around us.

When
you walk into a meeting, how many people are sitting there looking at their
phone and texting? Our heads are always down, engrossed in a video or word
game, and our earbuds keep us from hearing the people around us. How many times
have you been in a restaurant with friends, but you're more concerned about
your "friends" on Facebook or Twitter?

If
you want to have happier relationships, you need to learn the lost art of
paying attention.

The
Bible says in Philippians 2:4, "Do not be
interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others" (NCV).

This
doesn't come naturally, does it? By nature, I may not care what you're
interested in. By nature, I may want the attention on me, not you.

But
the greatest gift you can give somebody is your attention because your attention is your time, and your
time is your life. You're never going to get it back, and that's why it is so
precious when you give it.

This
is a simple but powerful tool in growing strong relationships. Are you
interested in what your kids are interested in? Do you listen to what your
partner has to say? Do you give your coworkers your attention when they speak
to you? Do you notice your neighbor as you walk by him in the morning?

Learning
the lost art of paying attention is an act of love. It t will transform your
relationships and help you live a happy life.

Talk It Over

How has social media kept you
from developing relationships with the people you live and work with?What are some ways you can turn
your attention to the people around you today?How do you show others that you
are truly paying attention to what they are saying or doing?

Don't Let Pride Be Your Guide

"Do
nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value
others above yourselves." (Philippians 2:3 NIV)

Every
conflict that you go through in a relationship has an element of pride mixed
into it. What is the middle letter of the word "pride"? I. What's the middle
letter of the word "crime"? I. What's the middle letter of the word "sin"? I.

We
have an "I" problem! "I" want what "I" want and "I" want it now, and that causes
all kinds of problems. In any relationship, never let pride be your guide,
because pride is the root of every other sin.

The
Bible says in Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing
out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above
yourselves" (NIV). Paul says that there are two conflict-creating kinds of
pride. One of them is selfish ambition and the other is vain conceit. Selfish
ambition says, "It's all about me" and vain conceit means, "I'm always right."

Selfish
ambition causes all kinds of problems. James 3:16 says, "Where you have envy
and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." When
you find confusion at your workplace, your church, your home, in your marriage,
and even in the government, you can know that selfish ambition and jealousy are
causing it.

Vain
conceit is the attitude that you are always right. The Living Bible translation
of Philippians 2:3 says, "Don't live to
make a good impression on others." We do this in every area of our lives, but
especially on social media. It's a great temptation to make yourself look
better on the Internet than you are.

In
Galatians, Paul lists about 17 effects of living with pride. He says when we
live a self-centered life, it shows up in all kinds of ways. He starts off by
saying things like self-indulgence shows up in sexual immorality and wild
partying and getting drunk. You would expect those things.

But
most of the things on the list are actually relational sins. Galatians 5:19-21
says, "When you follow the desires of
your sinful nature, the results are very clear ... quarreling, jealousy,
outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy.... Let me
tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not
inherit the Kingdom of God" (NLT).

If
you want to be happy in your relationships, you've got to have harmony. And if
you're going to have harmony, you've got to have humility. Never let pride be
your guide.

Talk It Over

How would you describe the basis
of your relationships? Are you in the relationship to serve yourself or
others?What are practical ways you can maintain humility in a
relationship?

For Happiness, Give Your Life Away

"For to
me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians
1:21 NIV)

Happiness
comes from service and giving your life away. Until you understand this, you're
not going to be happy for much of your life. Happiness does not come from
self-gratification. It comes from self-sacrifice.

Paul
knew that to be happy, he had to stay focused on his purpose and not his
problems. He summed up his purpose in Philippians 1:21: "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (NIV).

If
you were asked to fill in the blank, what word would you use? "For me to live
is ______." Would it be entertainment? Sports? Clothes? Family? Friends? A
career? There could be a lot of good things you could answer, but nothing
deserves the place of the One who created you and gave you your life: Jesus
Christ.

How
you fill in that blank will determine how happy you are in life. Because if you
answer "money" or "success" or "pleasure" or "power," you are going to be
unhappy for most of your life. There's nothing wrong with those things; they
just don't deserve first place. You weren't created to make a bunch of money, then
die, and give it away. God has a far greater purpose for your life. There is
only one answer that leads to happiness: to live is Christ. Give your life
away. It is your purpose!

Talk It Over

Pray
this prayer today: "Dear Jesus, you know that I often let
circumstances determine my happiness. You know that I often allow the killjoys
of pain and problems and pressures and picky people to rob my happiness. Help
me to look at every problem in my life from your viewpoint. I want to handle
problems in a way that is a witness to nonbelievers and an encouragement to
believers. Help me to remember that what others say and do does not control my
happiness unless I allow it. And as for the things that happen that I don't
understand or can't figure out, I want to trust you to work it all out for
good. Help me to stay focused on your purpose for my life and not my problems.
I want to use the rest of my life to serve you by serving others. Use me, Lord,
so I have a purpose for living and for dying. From this day on, for me to live
is Christ. In your name I pray. Amen."

Focus on Your Purpose, Not Your Problem

"If by
continuing to live I can do more worthwhile work, then I am not sure which I
should choose. I am pulled in two directions. I want very much to leave this
life and be with Christ, which is a far better thing; but for your sake it is
much more important that I remain alive. I am sure of this, and so I know that
I will stay. I will stay on with you all, to add to your progress and your joy
in the faith." (Philippians 1:22-25
TEV)

When
you stay focused on your purpose, not your problem, you can be happy even when
life seems to be falling apart.

Paul
was an old man when he was in prison in Rome. He was a long way from home. He
was awaiting execution. Everything has been taken from him - his friends, his
freedom, his ministry, even his privacy, with a guard chained to him 24 hours a
day. It wasn't exactly a happy time for Paul.

But
there was one thing they could not take away from Paul: his purpose. Paul made
the choice to stay focused on his purpose, even when he had lost everything
else. What was his purpose? Serving God by serving others.

Paul
says in Philippians 1:22-25, "If by
continuing to live I can do more worthwhile work, then I am not sure which I
should choose. I am pulled in two directions. I want very much to leave this
life and be with Christ, which is a far better thing; but for your sake it is
much more important that I remain alive. I am sure of this, and so I know that
I will stay. I will stay on with you all, to add to your progress and your joy
in the faith" (TEV).

I'll
never forget reading Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning." Frankl
was a Jewish psychiatrist who was taken to one of the death camps in Nazi
Germany. All of his family and all of his friends were gassed and murdered. He
talks in his book about one day when he stood in front of the Gestapo stark
naked. They'd taken away the prisoners' clothes and even Frankl's wedding ring.
He stood there with nothing at all when he suddenly realized there was one
thing the Nazis could not take away from him: his choice in how he would
respond.

You
cannot control what other people do to you. You cannot control what other
people do around you. But you can control how you respond.

Talk It Over

What
do you believe is your purpose in life?How
does your response to a difficult situation change when you realize that how
you respond is your choice?What
distractions or influences are keeping you focused on your problem and not your
purpose?

It's Your Choice To Rejoice

"I will
continue to rejoice. For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus
Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance." (Philippians 1:18b-19 NLT)

When
things are falling apart, don't try to work it out yourself. Just let God put
the pieces back together.

If
you're facing a problem, you've got two options: You can worship or you can
worry. That's it! This is what I call the faith factor.

Paul says in Philippians 1:18-19, "I will
continue to rejoice. For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus
Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance" (NLT).

In that one verse, Paul gives several sources of strength so you can stay
positive and happy in tough times.

First,
you have to keep God's perspective on your problems. Paul says, "For I know."
It's what you know that keeps you going. Paul knew God was working in the midst
of his struggle, and he kept God's bigger perspective.

Secondly,
Paul had people praying for him, and it kept him going. Then he says, "The
Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me." The Holy Spirit also kept Paul going. Finally
he says, "This will lead to my deliverance." Paul had faith that God would work
his problem for good.

Because
he had God's perspective, the prayer of friends, the Holy Spirit, and faith,
Paul chose to "continue to rejoice."

It's
your choice to rejoice.

Talk It Over

What
does it look like to worship God in the midst of a struggle?Who
do you rely on for prayer support? Who can you count on to genuinely and
faithfully pray for your spiritual growth?Think
of a problem that you're experiencing right now. How have you seen God work in
the midst of your pain? What do you expect God to do in and through you because
of this experience?

You Don't Need Someone's Approval To Be Happy

"It
does not matter! I am happy about it - just so Christ is preached in every way
possible, whether from wrong or right motives. And I will continue to be
happy." (Philippians 1:18
TEV)

�

You
can be happy no matter what happens in your life if you don't let others
control your attitude.

In
Philippians 1:15-17, Paul talks about four kinds of people who were affecting
his ministry while he was in prison in Rome. There were some who he considered
comrades and who encouraged him in his ministry. Others were criticizing,
competing with, or conspiring against his ministry.

�"Some of them preach
Christ because they are jealous and quarrelsome, but others from genuine good
will. These do so from love, because they know that God has given me the work
of defending the gospel. The others do not proclaim Christ sincerely, but from
a spirit of selfish ambition; they think that they will make more trouble for
me while I am in prison" (Philippians 1:15-17 TEV).

�Few
things rob your happiness faster than being criticized or feeling like others
are working against you. Why? Because we all want to be loved. We all want
approval. We want everybody to like us.

�Yet
Paul says in Philippians 1:18, "It does
not matter! I am happy about it - just so Christ is preached in every way
possible, whether from wrong or right motives. And I will continue to be
happy."

�You
don't need other people's approval to be happy.

�You're
as happy as you choose to be! If others are unhappy with you, that's their
choice. If you haven't got someone's approval now, you're probably not going to
get it. And you're going to be miserable if you try to live for the approval of
everybody else.

�Paul
later explains in verses 29 and 30 why you can be happy no matter what: "For you have been given not only the
privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. We
are in this struggle together. You have seen my struggle in the past, and you
know that I am still in the midst of it" (NLT).

�Paul
says it is a privilege to suffer when you're doing the right thing because
you're most like Jesus when somebody's nailing you to a cross and trying to get
at you.

�You
can be happy no matter what happens if you look at every problem from God's
viewpoint and never let what other people say or do control your happiness.

�Talk It Over

�For
whose approval have you been working? Why do you think you need that person's
approval?�Why
is there more freedom in God's approval than another person's?

�

When
you feel most attacked or criticized, how might God be working in you and
through you?

Happy People See God's Bigger Picture

"I want
you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to
me here has helped to spread the Good News" (Philippians
1:12 NLT)

If
you want to be a happy person, you need to look at every problem from God's
viewpoint. Happy people have a larger perspective. They see the big picture.
When you don't see things from God's point of view, you get discouraged,
frustrated, and unhappy.

No
matter what's going on in your life - the good, the bad, and the ugly, God is
working out a plan. Paul knew this. He says in Philippians 1:12, "I want you to know, my dear brothers and
sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the
Good News" (NLT).

Ever
since Paul became a Christian on the road to Damascus, he had dreamed one great
dream: He wanted to preach in Rome, the center of the universe at the time. His
dream was to preach the Gospel in the most important city in the world.

But
God had another idea. Instead of sending Paul to Rome to preach crusades, God
made him a royal prisoner of Caesar, who was at that time Nero. Nero was about
as wicked and as bad as you can get.

As
a royal prisoner, Paul was chained to a royal guard 24 hours a day for two
years, and the guard was changed every four hours. Over two years in prison, he
witnessed to 4,380 guards. Who's the real prisoner here? Who had the captive
audience?

This
wasn't Paul's plan, but it was God's all along. There were two results of it
that we know for sure.

Philippians
4 says that within two years, some of Nero's own family had become believers
because of Paul's witness in the royal court in Rome.

Secondly,
it's kind of hard to get a guy like Paul to stop moving. In prison, he was
forced to be still and, as a result, wrote most of the New Testament. I wonder
which had a bigger impact: his preaching in the Colosseum or the books he
wrote, such as Romans, First and Second Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians,
Philippians, and Colossians. These seven books have revealed Jesus to millions
of people over the years?

Paul
knew that God had a bigger plan, and he could be happy because he saw what God
was doing through his problem.

Any
time you have a problem that's starting to get you down, you need to do what
Paul did - learn to see it from God's point of view. Ask, "What is God doing
here? What's the bigger picture? What's the bigger perspective?" Then you'll be
able to face the problem in faith.

Talk It Over

Think
of a problem that has you discouraged. How might your discouragement change if
you look at it with God's bigger perspective?How
have you seen God work in the midst of a difficult situation in your past?



Why do you think God is allowing you to struggle
through a hard time?

Positive Prayer Makes Strong Relationships

"And
this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and
depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be
pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of
righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of
God." (Philippians 1:9-11
NIV)

�

I
want you to think of somebody who irritates you - maybe somebody you've got a
strained relationship with or who just rubs you the wrong way. I have two
questions for you: One, do you pray for that person? Or do you just complain
and grumble and nag and nitpick? If you prayed more, you'd have a lot less to
grumble, complain, nag, and nitpick about. It's your decision.

�

Does
nagging work? No. Does prayer work? Yes. So why do you do more of the thing
that doesn't work than does?

Paul
says in Philippians 1:4, "Whenever I
pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy" (NLT).

Paul
didn't just pray for people in his life; he prayed with joy!

There
are things in other people's lives that you'd like to change. You don't want to
change yourself; you want them to
change. We always want to change other people. But you can't!

You
can, however, pray, and let God do his work in other people.

Positive
praying is more effective than positive thinking. All the positive thinking in
the world isn't going to change your husband or your wife or your child or your
friend or your situation. Positive thinking can change you, but it won't change
somebody else. But positive prayer can make a difference in someone else.

Do
you want to know the quickest way to change a bad relationship to a good one?
Start praying for the other person! It will change you, and it can change the
other person.

Paul
even told us how to pray for others: "And
this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and
depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be
pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of
righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God"
(Philippians 1:9-11 NIV).

From
these verses, we can learn to pray for the people in our lives in four ways:

Pray that they will
grow in love: "And
this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and
depth of insight."

Pray that they will
make wise choices:
"... so that you may be able to discern what is best ..."

Pray that they will
live with integrity:
"... and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ ..."

Pray that they will
become like Jesus:
"... filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ -
to the glory and praise of God."

Pray
these for yourself and anyone else in your life, and watch how God turns around
the relationship you thought had no hope or that needed to be revived.

Talk It Over

Who
are the people in your life with whom you have a strained relationship and for
whom you need to pray these four things?How
does positive prayer change you and not just the person for whom you are
praying?What
is the "fruit of righteousness" that comes through Jesus Christ (see Galatians
5:22-23)?

�

Selective Memory: Focus on the Good Times

"I
thank God for the help you gave me." (Philippians
1:5a NCV)

�

Developing
an attitude of gratitude does not come naturally. We are not by nature grateful
people. We are by nature discontented. We always want more or something
different.

�

In
the book of Philippians, Paul was writing to the church that he started in
Philippi, where a woman named Lydia opened up her home and, along with others,
welcomed Paul to the city. The Philippian church even helped fund Paul's
missionary journeys. In Philippians 1:5, Paul says, "I thank God for the help you gave me" (NCV).

The
thing is, Paul didn't have a good time in Philippi. In fact, it was one of his
roughest churches to get started. When Paul went to this city to start a
church, he was beaten, whipped, humiliated, falsely arrested, thrown into
prison, and survived an earthquake. Then, he was politely asked by the city
leaders to leave town.

Yet
Paul told the believers, "Every time I think
of you, I give thanks to my God" (Philippians 1:3 NLT).

What
is Paul doing there? He is choosing selective memory. Philippi was not a happy
place for Paul, and he endured a lot of persecution and suffering during his
time in that city. But he chose not to dwell on painful memories and instead
expressed his gratitude for the good things that had been done for him and
through him.

The
longer you know someone, the more likely you are to take that person for
granted and to look for faults and remember the bad things instead of the good
things.

Are
you still living some painful memories with some people in your life? You've
never let them off the hook, and you can't enjoy the relationship because
you're still holding on to the past.

You
need to understand that memories are a choice. I heard a story one time about
two friends who were talking. One of them asked the other, "Don't you remember
that time when your husband did this?"
Her friend replied, "I distinctly remember forgetting that."

Your
memories are a choice. If you want to hold on to your painful memories, go
right ahead. But you're not going to be happy! Paul had a lot of reasons to
have painful memories of Philippi. Instead, he made the choice to be grateful
for the people in his life and the work God was doing in and through them. When
you do the same, God will bless your relationships far beyond your
expectations.

Talk It Over

Why
is it sometimes easier to hold on to painful memories than replace them with
good ones?



How does focusing on good memories change your
expectations for the future?