Michael Gates's Blog, page 69
June 24, 2013
Random Sequence
The street was still crowded. Will looked into each face he passed. A few made eye contact for a moment; most didn't. It was hard to believe, but all of them had a life somewhere -- a family, friends, a job, a home. Millions of them. Or maybe a few didn't. Maybe some of them were faking it.
He came to a subway station and, without thinking about it, descended the stairs. He walked through the turnstile and sat on a bench near the tracks. While he waited, he stared at the cigarette butts, gum wads and crumbs that littered the concrete floor. An army of ants was trying to move a tiny piece of candy, and he reach over with this foot and crushed them.
--from "The Burden" (by me), originally published by Ululation.com
He came to a subway station and, without thinking about it, descended the stairs. He walked through the turnstile and sat on a bench near the tracks. While he waited, he stared at the cigarette butts, gum wads and crumbs that littered the concrete floor. An army of ants was trying to move a tiny piece of candy, and he reach over with this foot and crushed them.
--from "The Burden" (by me), originally published by Ululation.com
June 23, 2013
Word of the Day: gowk
gowk (noun)
A fool, simpleton or clumsy person
"Conceited gowk! Puff'd up wi' windy pride!"
--Robert Burns, "The Brigs of Ayr" (1786)
You might be a gowk and mistake this word for another: "gwok." According to the Urban Dictionary, gwok can mean “ugly”; it can also be a synonym for money. In Cantonese, it means “country.” Hmm. An ugly money country. Suitable for gowks, no doubt.
A fool, simpleton or clumsy person
"Conceited gowk! Puff'd up wi' windy pride!"
--Robert Burns, "The Brigs of Ayr" (1786)
You might be a gowk and mistake this word for another: "gwok." According to the Urban Dictionary, gwok can mean “ugly”; it can also be a synonym for money. In Cantonese, it means “country.” Hmm. An ugly money country. Suitable for gowks, no doubt.
June 20, 2013
Search Party
Here are a few recent search queries that brought seekers to this temple of scribomania.
treatment for boanthropy syndrome
boanthropy is the belief that one is a cow or an ox. Probably the cure would be to offer the person a hamburger.
cheshire cat lewis carroll
"We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "otherwise you wouldn't have come here."
einstein fish
A smart fish? Dolphins come to mind, but they aren't really fish. If Einstein were to be reincarnated as a fish, maybe he would develop a Theory of Infinity.
doodoocaca flesh
Wow, I'm number 3 on Google for this phrase? But I think you mean doodoocaca FLASH.
conversational terrorism how not to talk
Conversational terrorism is when two people stop talking.
rastafarian proctologist
You mean a Pokemon?
treatment for boanthropy syndrome
boanthropy is the belief that one is a cow or an ox. Probably the cure would be to offer the person a hamburger.
cheshire cat lewis carroll
"We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "otherwise you wouldn't have come here."
einstein fish
A smart fish? Dolphins come to mind, but they aren't really fish. If Einstein were to be reincarnated as a fish, maybe he would develop a Theory of Infinity.
doodoocaca flesh
Wow, I'm number 3 on Google for this phrase? But I think you mean doodoocaca FLASH.
conversational terrorism how not to talk
Conversational terrorism is when two people stop talking.
rastafarian proctologist
You mean a Pokemon?
June 19, 2013
Link Mania: Tea Time
"Like Proust be an old teahead of time"
Like, wow: Jack Kerouac's 30 Cool Tips for writers. They're not very practical (neither was Kerouac), but they have a subversive, Gertrude Stein-like quality that just might put you in the mood to write. After all, "You're a genius all the time."
Like, wow: Jack Kerouac's 30 Cool Tips for writers. They're not very practical (neither was Kerouac), but they have a subversive, Gertrude Stein-like quality that just might put you in the mood to write. After all, "You're a genius all the time."
June 18, 2013
Link Mania
Sing Along with Webster
Dictionaraoke.org, aka "The Singing Dictionary," is a collection of downloadable mp3 files created by combining karaoke versions of pop songs with audio pronunciation clips from online dictionaries. Pretty amusing. I especially enjoyed the site's versions of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" and the Beatles' "Martha My Dear." You. Silly. Girl.
Dictionaraoke.org, aka "The Singing Dictionary," is a collection of downloadable mp3 files created by combining karaoke versions of pop songs with audio pronunciation clips from online dictionaries. Pretty amusing. I especially enjoyed the site's versions of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" and the Beatles' "Martha My Dear." You. Silly. Girl.
June 17, 2013
Random Acts of Poetry
Scatterbrain
Tending to imagine,
at the post office, even,
he made a white dove
out of an envelope.
At home, the walnut mother
sat calmly in her bowl,
happy among framed pictures
until night fell.
His wringing hands
roiled the clouds,
made weather wetter
for chessboard royalty.
Nine-o'clock black
was the nothing of space,
or an empty mind
long erased by age.
Dropped matchsticks
formed broken crosses,
stick-figure portraits
of starving saints.
Later, he turned pages,
touched dead heron wings,
let his insides bleed
a comet tail of words.
Tending to imagine,
at the post office, even,
he made a white dove
out of an envelope.
At home, the walnut mother
sat calmly in her bowl,
happy among framed pictures
until night fell.
His wringing hands
roiled the clouds,
made weather wetter
for chessboard royalty.
Nine-o'clock black
was the nothing of space,
or an empty mind
long erased by age.
Dropped matchsticks
formed broken crosses,
stick-figure portraits
of starving saints.
Later, he turned pages,
touched dead heron wings,
let his insides bleed
a comet tail of words.
June 16, 2013
Word of the Day: obtenebrate
What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's....
obtenebrate (verb)
To darken or place in shadow
"...thus do I return to you, dearest Ingeborg, to lay my head upon thy bosom, that thou mayst fan away the vapours which obtenebrate my soul, whilst placing thy warm hand upon my heart."
--Fredrika Bremer, The Rectory of Mora (1845)
Just before a thunderstorm on a hot August day, the wind rises and the whole world obtenebrates. I love that moment.
obtenebrate (verb)
To darken or place in shadow
"...thus do I return to you, dearest Ingeborg, to lay my head upon thy bosom, that thou mayst fan away the vapours which obtenebrate my soul, whilst placing thy warm hand upon my heart."
--Fredrika Bremer, The Rectory of Mora (1845)
Just before a thunderstorm on a hot August day, the wind rises and the whole world obtenebrates. I love that moment.
June 13, 2013
Random Sequence
I knocked, and after a few seconds -- it seemed like a few minutes -- Justin said "come in" with a tone of utter resignation. We found him hunched over his desk, examining a book about insects and apparently writing something on a sheet of lined paper. He didn't turn to greet us.
"Hi, fella," Albert said.
Justin looked back at us, mildly surprised to see Albert. "Oh, hullo," he said, "Mr. Barstow."
"Albert," Albert said. "Watcha reading?"
They both turned to look at the book. I had seen this insect book, with its huge, grotesque pictures of glistening mandibles and segmented thoraxes, before. So I took the opportunity to surreptitiously examine what Justin had been writing.
To my surprise, it didn't seem to have anything to do with schoolwork.... it seemed to be some kind of odd poem that snaked down the page in an S-shaped curve of text. I could only make out some of it:
We have come a long way
to tell you what most of you
have long suspected:
that your home is elsewhere,
that your exile is self-imposed.
--from "Mirror in the Sky" (by me), originally published by Cenotaph
"Hi, fella," Albert said.
Justin looked back at us, mildly surprised to see Albert. "Oh, hullo," he said, "Mr. Barstow."
"Albert," Albert said. "Watcha reading?"
They both turned to look at the book. I had seen this insect book, with its huge, grotesque pictures of glistening mandibles and segmented thoraxes, before. So I took the opportunity to surreptitiously examine what Justin had been writing.
To my surprise, it didn't seem to have anything to do with schoolwork.... it seemed to be some kind of odd poem that snaked down the page in an S-shaped curve of text. I could only make out some of it:
We have come a long way
to tell you what most of you
have long suspected:
that your home is elsewhere,
that your exile is self-imposed.
--from "Mirror in the Sky" (by me), originally published by Cenotaph
June 12, 2013
Photo of the Week
I'm tempted to say "even cats like my book!" This feline has fallen in love with my paperback's glossy cover, which he likes to rub his whiskers against -- while purring like an outboard motor.
Actually, I just made that up. A friend snapped this (staged) photo because her cat -- yes, this very cat -- is mentioned in the book, in the entry for the word "absquatulate". You'll have to read it to get the story and context; suffice it to say that this furry fellow absquatulated when I was visiting one evening, despite the fact that he only has three legs -- no lie. Click the photo for closer inspection and say "nice kitty". (If I had said that at the time, maybe he wouldn't have absquatulated.)
June 11, 2013
Head Rattle
I.If you have the opportunity to go to Paris, there aren't many good reasons to say no.
II.Some people can't take a hint. But if the hint is strong enough, you start to wonder if the person is purposely not getting it.
III.Many people are into social media, but some people are into anti-social media.
IV.Texas is another state of mind.
V.Sometimes you don't want to be reminded of the past, but you don't want to forget the good parts either. This can lead to contradictory behavior.
VI.Love is not about entertainment value.
VII.I'm pretty sure that you know that I know that you're pretty sure you know that I know.
II.Some people can't take a hint. But if the hint is strong enough, you start to wonder if the person is purposely not getting it.
III.Many people are into social media, but some people are into anti-social media.
IV.Texas is another state of mind.
V.Sometimes you don't want to be reminded of the past, but you don't want to forget the good parts either. This can lead to contradictory behavior.
VI.Love is not about entertainment value.
VII.I'm pretty sure that you know that I know that you're pretty sure you know that I know.
