Robin Storey's Blog, page 8

To Swear Or Not To Swear – That Is The Fecking Question

The use of profanity in books has always been a controversial question. Readers range in attitudes from not being in the least bit concerned to finding it offensive and refusing to read books containing swear words. Mention the subject to any group of authors, and you’ll end up in a lively discussion as to the pros and cons of the use of swear words and their personal preferences.

Less is more

I have a laissez-faire attitude towards swearing. It doesn’t offend me and my only objection to it is that heavy use in a novel or movie causes it to lose its impact, and it becomes just another word. A swear word is an expletive expressing a range of emotions from frustration to despair, and if it’s used constantly, its power and associated emotions are blunted. Some people use swear words as everyday adjectives, which negates all meaning, as in ‘I went to the f…ing shop and ran into f…ing old George, who told me this f…ing hilarious joke!’

Fecking brilliant

That’s why I’ve come to love the Irish words feck and fecking. Marian Keyes, in Making It Up As I Go Along, an anthology of articles on modern life and love, goes to great pains to point out that fecking is not a swear word – it’s commonly used by the Irish in everyday conversation. But what I like about it is that it sounds so much like a swear word that you can derive a satisfactory amount of cathartic release from using it when you’re in polite company (‘I went to the fecking shop and ran into fecking old George, who told me this fecking hilarious joke!’) in the knowledge you’re not offending anyone.

Fecking is what is known as a minced oath. This is not a meat dish the Irish serve up with their praties, but a euphemistic adaptation of a swear word to make it less offensive. Others include gosh, darn, dang, fudge and heck, which sound like a bunch of vicars at morning tea and in my opinion are not a patch on feck.

You can’t please everyone

Unfortunately, feck or fecking are not much use to you when you’re writing a book, unless your character happens to be Irish. As an author I take the stance that if swearing is necessary for the authenticity of the character, I include it, and as many of the characters in my books are either criminals or live on the edge of respectable society, some cursing is inevitable. The frequency is certainly not what I would consider excessive, but even so, I have had a couple of readers comment that they didn’t like the swearing in my novel How Not To Commit Murder.

My argument is this: imagine a hardened criminal who’s been in and out of jail all his life getting angry at you and telling you to ‘Go away.’ If he does, he’s displaying exceptional and uncharacteristic self-control – maybe he did a course in Etiquette 101 during his last stint in prison. In reality, he’s going to tell you to f… off and if you’re lucky, that will be the only expletive he uses.

Wall Street Blues

It’s also a fact that the frequent use of cursing in modern books and movies has desensitized the average person to its impact, particularly the f-bomb, as it’s called. It was used over 500 times in the movie The Wolf of Wall Street. (Wikipedia says 569). So someone actually sat through the movie with the sole purpose of counting the number of f…words? If so, there’s a definite component of human error here, as another account put the number of f-bombs as a mere 506. Perhaps the person who made that claim had a coughing fit and missed the other 63?

According to Wikipedia there are two other movies with a greater number of f-bombs than The Wolf of Wall Street – Swearnet: The Movie and F… a documentary on the word. But Martin Scorsese, the director of The Wolf of Wall Street is keen to claim the title of King of Profanity, as another article claims that the movie has set a new Guinness World Record for the movie with the most swearing, with Scorsese breaking his own previous world record of 422 f-bombs in his 1995 gangster movie Casino.

Again Wikipedia disagrees, claiming that the movies Summer of Sam and Nil by Mouth contain more f-bombs than Casino. Surely someone’s created an app that counts the number of f-bombs in a movie that would resolve this important controversy for once and for all.

Jazzing it up

When it comes to the most profane book ever written, there’s even more contention. It seems that readers are not as devoted to counting the number of swear words in books as movie-goers are in movies. A number of readers have mentioned Miles, the autobiography of jazz musician Miles Davis, with one claiming there are 672 f-bombs in the book. Davis was obviously a man who liked to make a point – or maybe had a limited vocabulary. Other books mentioned were Irvine Welsh’s books Trainspotting and Filth and Henry Miller’s books Tropic of Cancer and Over the Rooftops of Paris.

There’s a fecking app for that?

And if you're offended by swearing in books, you could buy the Clean Reader app, which replaces swear words in e-books with sanitized versions, with settings ranging from clean to squeaky clean. This app was released in early 2015 to the strident objections of many authors. One called it ‘f…ing horrifying,’ while award-winning author Joanne Harris pronounced it as ‘infinitely more offensive than any of the words it blanks out.’

In an article in The Telegraph she goes on to say, ‘Anyone who works with words understands their power. Words, if used correctly, can achieve almost anything. To tamper with what is written – however much we may dislike certain words and phrases – is to embrace censorship.'

Other authors took a more light-hearted view, wondering if there would be anything left of Irvine Welsh’s novels once the Clean Reader app had swept its broom of purity through them. And it’s also worth reminding authors not to set their books in places like Tittybong, Penistone or Balls Cross, as those with the Clean Reader app won’t know where on earth the story takes place.

I’ll leave the last word to crime writer Ian Rankin, who said on Twitter, ‘People seem equivocal about the Clean Reader app, but I've just installed Dirty Reader and it has done wonders for the Miss Marple books.’

What’s your view on profanity in books, as a reader and/or writer? I’d love you to chime in with your opinions in the comments box below.

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The post To Swear Or Not To Swear – That Is The Fecking Question appeared first on Robin Storey.

My Five Reading Pet Peeves

In a book I was reading recently, it got to the bit where the couple were in a clinch and things were hotting up. As they were kissing, she ‘felt his nature rising.’

Seriously? I’ve read a lot of coy phrases describing erections, but that was a first. It somehow reminded me of being in a forest watching the sun rise. I was enjoying the book up until this point, but the phrase jarred me completely out of my reading zone.

Awkward sex scenes in books is one of my pet peeves. As an author I fully appreciate how difficult it is to write original sex scenes, but coy terms and clichés used for bodily parts and having sex just end up making a farce of it.

Every year British literary magazine Literary Review bestows the Bad Sex in Fiction Award on the author voted to have written the worst sex scene in a book published that year. In 2015 singer Morrissey won it for the sex scene in his debut fiction novel List of the Lost, in which he referred to a ‘bulbous salutation.’

Beside that, ‘nature rising’ seems very tame. If the ‘bulbous salutation’ has whetted your appetite for more, you can read the entire winning scene here.

It got me thinking about other pet peeves I have as a reader. Here are some others:

Authors who describe their characters’ clothing in minute detail. One particular crime writer describes every bit of clothing, right down to their socks (colour and thickness), watch (size, colour and brand) and jaunty handkerchief sticking out of the pocket (plain or embroidered) of their shirt (colour, brand and material).

The other problem is that this author’s fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired, particularly when it comes to women, so by the time I’ve visualized the murder suspect in a floral blouse with a frill at the neck, mustard cardigan with an emerald brooch, and green tartan skirt with tan stockings and black court shoes, I’m ready to throw a Vogue magazine at her.

Dream scenes. Dreams are boring – whether they’re the dreams of real people or characters in a novel. I always skip the dream scenes, even if they’re supposed to reveal something deep and meaningful about the character. There are a couple of exceptions to this:

· If the dreams are funny. I’m compelled to say that as I have included the odd dream scene in a couple of my books (How Not To Commit Murder and Perfect Sex). But in my defence they’re short and amusing. And if you don’t like them, feel free to skip them too.

· My own dreams are fascinating. My partner can vouch for this – he has studied dream analysis and I always give him a blow by blow description of my dreams so he can interpret them for me. I know you’re dying to hear all about them, but there’s not enough room in this blog post, so another time perhaps.

You’re busy? Every day? Oh well.

Precocious kids. Six-year-olds who have an armoury of witty repartee, cute observations and disdainful comments directed at all adults to make them feel like prehistoric imbeciles. Admittedly they seem to be more prevalent in movies, but I have read the occasional book in which the kid is more knowledgeable and together than the adults, rescuing a kitten from a burning building, whipping up a batch of pancakes and cleaning up afterwards and giving his mother advice about her love life.

Whereas in reality, a six-year-old will be glued to the X-box while the building is burning, have no idea how to cook pancakes but will leave a trail of cereal and milk across the kitchen and as for love, they have one word – ‘Yuk!’

Lack of quotation marks around speech. I’m looking at you, Tim Winton and Richard Flanagan, amongst others. Why is that? Are the authors too lazy to bother with them? I agree that quotation marks are annoying to insert, especially when you’re in the flow of a piece of profound dialogue that’s going to change the world.

But in my opinion it makes reading so much more difficult when the dialogue is indistinguishable from the rest of the narrative, and you have to stop and think,’ Oh yes, now he’s speaking.’ And it’s also difficult to distinguish the characters’ thoughts from their speech.

I have noticed that it seems to be mainly the authors of literary fiction that do it, so maybe it’s a trope of that genre. Researching it on the internet, I found I’m not the only person annoyed by this, so I breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn’t turning into a GOW. (Grumpy Old Woman).

Whatever the reason, I refuse to read a book written without speech quotation marks, which according to some advocates of that style, marks me as a lazy reader. I’ll lie on the couch and drink to that!

What are your reading pet peeves? I’d love to hear them – please rant and rave in the comments box below.

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Twelve Things Never To Say To A Writer

Occupation: other

Now that I'm a full-time author I can legitimately write it on official forms that ask me for my occupation – although for those that give you a category to select, author is never there. Not even writer or anything writing-related. So I have to choose 'other' or 'self-employed', which are vague and bland and could mean anything from snake catcher to freelance circus juggler.

And when asked in social situations what I do, I say I'm an author, and have done so for some time, well before I left my job last year. Because that is who I am, a core part of my identity, regardless of how many hours a week I spend at it.

Telling people I'm an author invariably results in an expression of surprise, I guess because most people don't come across many authors in their day to day interactions. (And of course, we are a rather exotic species, very shy and anti-social, often hiding for days in our lairs, unless tempted out by promises of coffee and/or wine).

Is there a taxidermist in the house?

One lady even said to me with an air of amazement, 'I've never met a real author before!'

Which made me feel as if I should have been stuffed and in a museum.

People ask the usual questions – what do you write, how do you get your ideas etc and are always really interested to hear about being an indie author and the whole self-publishing journey. I happily answer their questions because I love talking about writing (hey, it's often more fun than doing it!) and doing my bit to increase the profile of indie authors. Occasionally I'm on the receiving end of a thoughtless comment – although to be fair, the person making the comment is blissfully unaware of it.

How to get writers hot under the collar

A few months ago, a hot topic for discussion around the virtual water-cooler on Twitter was Ten Things Not to Say to a Writer. It was started by acclaimed author Joanne Harris (of Chocolat fame) and It invited 119 000 responses – all from writers of course. It certainly touched a nerve, and it appears that we writers are delicate little flowers when it comes to our art and don’t appreciate careless comments, even though in most cases, they're not intended to hurt.

Here are my 10 favourites from that discussion, in no particular order of preference.

What's your real job?

Contributed by Joanne. She's a very successful, award- winning author with a swag of books under her belt – she doesn't need or want another job.

Have I heard of you?

Contributed by Jodi Picoult. If they haven't heard of you, Jodi, there's not much hope for the rest of us!

How's the book coming along?

My contribution. What can you say apart from 'fine, ' resulting in an awkward silence? Start talking about the scene in your novel where the scullery maid, who was in love with the butler, found out he'd got the cook pregnant, and you weren't sure whether that should be the second plot point or the climax, and watch their eyes glaze over.

I picked up your book in the remainder bin at Dymock's.

What can I say but Ouch! And resist the temptation to ask how much!

I like listening to your audiobooks because they help me fall asleep.

Ouch again – unless the book is about how to cure insomnia.

You don't look like a writer.

In other words, you look quite normal - no ink stained shirt/just-got-out-of-bed-hair/caffeine addiction twitching/muttering to yourself in public/haunted hungry look from too many late nights and three minute noodles.

I guess you could take it as a compliment.

We only serve decaf.

No self-respecting writer would be seen dead drinking decaf. Like vegetarian sausages or non-alcoholic wine, there's no point to it.

I could write a book if I had the time.

Just put aside a few week-ends and you can dash one off. No need to worry about learning the craft.

I've got a great idea for a book. You write it and we'll split the profits.

Sure thing. You tell me your idea and I'll spend the next 12 months slaving away over my computer, writing, re-writing, re-writing some more, editing, editing some more and publishing the book. I'm sure you put a lot of time and effort into thinking up your idea, so it’s perfectly reasonable that you get half the profits.

Say whatever you like to me – it beats being ignored or forgotten.

Contributed by author J.A Konrath. I like the positive spin – any publicity is better than none at all.

And here's an extra two because I always like to deliver more than promised. These fall under the category of Useless Advice:

Why don't you write something like Fifty Shades of Grey?

You should get (inaccessible super-famous person) to blurb your book!

Author and blogger Chuck Wendig also has his own unique take on the issue in his blog post r (language warning) and looking at it from the opposite angle, Spellbound Scribes have written a blog post

Any that you can add? I'd love to hear your amusing/original/downright insulting contributions in the comment box below.

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How The Best Laid Plans Can Go Awry

Don’t you just love a fresh start – a blank sheet of paper in the book of your life to fill in as the year progresses? I always start each new year with curiosity and anticipation, wondering what it will bring.

Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, ‘Life can only be understood backwards but it can only be lived forwards.’

How true. In the present we can only act according to the knowledge and experience we have at the time, and often we are caught up in the emotions of the situation. But we can only understand and make sense of our actions looking back from a distance, when we have some perspective and objectivity.

Accordingly, each new year is a good opportunity to look back on the previous year, and apart from celebrating our achievements, decide what didn’t work so well and why, and put in place plans for improvement.

Sharing your goals with the world

Many brave people, including author , make a list of their goals on their blog at the beginning of each year, then do a round-up the following year listing what they have and haven’t achieved. There’s nothing like public accountability to get you motivated.

I did a similar thing in my post a year ago, , in which I listed what went well in 2014 and what I could have improved. I also outlined my Magnificent Plan for 2015, which I estimate was about 50% achieved overall.

To be fair to myself, some of my plans were derailed due to circumstances behind my control – always a risk of being under the illusion that we are actually in control of our lives.

My Magnificent Plan for 2015

Here is a summary of my Magnificent Plan.

Finish the first draft of my next work of fiction by the time my partner and I go to Spain in mid-Septemb er

This was the one goal I actually surpassed - as we didn’t go to Spain. I not only finished the first draft of my novella An Affair with Danger, but I completed the final draft by the end of the year, with only the copyediting to be done.

Undertake the Camino Frances pilgrimage across northern Spain

As mentioned, we didn’t go to Spain as I had some health issues to contend with; however we plan to go in September this year. Eight hundred kilometres is a lot of thinking time - as well as sore feet and blisters, I hope to return with inspiration for a dozen more books.

Practise more efficient time management and stick to the tasks in my weekly planner

This I did probably 75% of the time, so my weekly planner, which sits right in front of me on my desk, is definitely looking more cheerful and loved. I have found that spending some time the night before planning the activities of the next day is very beneficial – it forestalls the 'What will I do today? I'll just make myself a coffee and think about it' scenario, where you are still thinking about it an hour later and have been sidetracked into re-organizing your spice rack/bathing the dog/painting the house.

Compile a book marketing plan and set aside a certain amount of time each week to carry it out

(Cue ba bom! buzzer). This didn’t happen and I have since decided that setting aside a specific time for marketing doesn’t work for me. Many authors will tell you that marketing is promotion’s evil twin and that they hate it, but drilled down to its simple elements, it’s about connecting with readers who enjoy your books and hopefully will tell others. So in that respect it’s not something that lends itself to a set time each week, but happens on an ongoing basis.

Having said that, when I’m in writing mode, I don’t allow anything to interrupt me – marketing, floods, nuclear attacks or even running out of chocolate.

Take myself on an artist’s date each week

In her book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron recommends taking yourself on an artist's date each week - ie spending time alone doing something you enjoy as a means of re-filling your creative well. I listed this goal to try and circumvent end of year burnout. However one of the main causes of my burnout, a demanding and stressful job, was removed from my life when I left it in May last year to become a full-time author. Consequently, I didn’t feel the need for artist’s dates and for the first time in years, I experienced no burnout.

I am keeping it in mind, however, as being an author does have its stressful times as well, particularly when the Evil Formatting Fairies get into my computer and play havoc with my manuscript.

Divest myself of my commitment to my local writer’s organisation

I successfully did this six months earlier than planned. I am undergoing a course for indie authors called which has a very supportive and knowledgeable Facebook community, which more than makes up for the lack of a face to face group.

Continue my health/fitness/meditation practices

The first two were easy for me to do as I lead a pretty healthy lifestyle. I eat a modified Paleo diet and exercise regularly. However I fell down badly on the meditation. I had started a practice of 10 minutes meditation after dinner at night before getting back to my writing, but I derived little benefit from it and often used it as a way of putting off the inevitable moment of sitting at my desk. So I ditched it.

One thing I have learnt from my Magnificent Plan – sometimes it is counterproductive to set up rigid schedules, with daily or weekly to-do activities, particularly in the area of lifestyle. I feel as if I’ve failed when I don’t stick to them and with activities such as meditation and artist’s dates, it’s more beneficial for me to do them when the need arises, rather than forcing myself into a ritual that can feel like a burden.

My goals for 2016

For 2016, I’m paring my goals down to the essentials – to publish two books and write a trilogy of novellas before our trip to Spain in September. After that, a pilgrimage will be a welcome break!

If you’d like some challenges with a difference, check out on Zen Habits - Six Ways to Create an Awesome 2016. Amongst other things, he suggests setting a challenge for yourself for a month, and if you fail, a friend agrees to have something bad happen to them. Note that you and the friend must agree beforehand on what that will be – tipping a bucket of ice over him/her because you’ve failed your challenge without prior mutual agreement is very unsporting.

The idea is that you will be more motivated to succeed because you don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s misfortune. Unless you're on a TV reality show, in which case it would be mandatory.

How did you go with last year’s goals? (Your secret’s safe with me!) Have you made any for this year? I’d love you to share them in the comments box below.

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Why You Should Get Out Of Your Reading Comfort Zone

The words 'comfort zone' are bandied around a lot these days. Self-development experts are always telling us to get out of it. I like the sound of a comfort zone and the images it evokes – I picture myself curled up on my couch surrounded by books, chocolate and coffee, with a large sign nearby announcing ‘Warning – Comfort Zone,’ so anyone approaching will know to leave me alone in my natural habitat.

What is a comfort zone?

When I Googled comfort zone, the first two explanations that appeared were:

· A situation where one feels safe or at ease

· A settled method of working that requires little effort and yields only barely acceptable results

The first sounds alluring, like being snuggled up inside while a fierce storm lashes your home, while the second has the disapproving tone of a teacher who knows you’ve just done the bare minimum of homework to get by.

I think there’s nothing wrong with being in your comfort zone, in the short term. However I do think it’s important to be constantly challenging yourself, as it’s the only way you learn and grow. Especially as you hit your sixties and beyond – it’s the only way to avoid the decline into cardigans, slippers and dinner at 5pm while watching Family Feud.

I am venturing hugely outside my comfort zone by doing my first skydive in February next year. More on that later. (I’m purposely not thinking about it at the moment –sometimes procrastination is the only way!)

Going outside your reading comfort zone

And I also think that as a reader, going outside your comfort zone is important too. We all have our favourite genres and authors that we veer towards and avoid any we think we might not enjoy, often without even giving them a try. For years I read mainly detective or crime novels, and had my favourite authors whose books I devoured voraciously – Sue Grafton, Janet Evanovich, Jonathan Kellerman, Michael Robotham. Occasionally to break it up, I’d read some literary fiction (Ian McEwan, Khaled Hosseini) romantic comedy (Helen Fielding, Jilly Cooper) or lad lit, the male version of chick lit (Nick Hornby and Nick Earls).

But in only sticking to genres you’re familiar with, you miss out on some rewarding reading that can:

· broaden your horizons

· teach you new things

· increase your enjoyment and

· introduce you to a wider range of great authors

And who wouldn’t agree that the wider the choice of authors to read, the better?

To top it all off, there’s the excitement of discovering an author and finding out they’ve written a swag of books that can take you on a marathon reading adventure.

Reading widely is essential for authors

For authors it’s especially important to read widely, as reading is one of the main ways we learn how to write. I credit reading as being the single most significant activity that has improved my writing over the years, even more so than the dozens of workshops and seminars I’ve attended.

While I’m reading a book, one part of my mind is taking note of how it is written and what language the author is using to achieve certain effects. If I’m crying or laughing or biting my nails in suspense, I want to know how he or she does it. I do the same when I’m watching movies, as I explained in my blog post Taking The Guilt Out Of Guilty Pleasures.

‘Doesn’t that detract from the enjoyment of the book?’ a friend asked me. ‘Like studying a book at school and having to analyse it to bits so that you end up hating it.’

On the contrary, it increases my enjoyment of the book. I can enjoy it purely as a story, another world I can escape into for a few hours, but I can also appreciate on a deeper level the skill that’s gone into writing it. A lot of my learning from books I’ve read is subconscious and I’m not aware of what I’m taking in, but it lurks there waiting to manifest itself when I’m next writing. Sounds very pretentious, n’est-ce pas?

My new reading genre

Over the past few years I have broadened my reading to include autobiographies and memoirs, short story collections, self-development books, historical fiction and a larger variety of contemporary fiction. And recently I stepped out of my reading comfort zone and read my first fantasy novel. (If you don’t count The Lord of the Rings – everyone’s read that, or says they have).

Previously, fantasy novels had never appealed to me and I can’t even come up with a logical reason. Perhaps my mother was frightened by a dragon when she was pregnant with me. But even that doesn’t make sense because I loved reading fantasy as child. And it’s even more strange when you consider that two of the short stories in my e-book Comedy Shorts have a fantasy element.

It seemed that every fantasy book I looked at was full of dragons, witches, vampires or princes with weird names like V’darqz from the Kingdom of Wrthsfofff – conjured up, I suspect, by the author accidentally leaning on their keyboard. As I like an element of realism in my books (i.e. I like to imagine the story happening in real life) I didn’t think I could suspend this desire enough to be able to enjoy the world of fantasy.

Two new authors I’ve discovered

But I was wrong. I eased into fantasy by reading two comedy-fantasy novels, as comedy is a genre I write and enjoy. First I read Tom Holt’s The Good, The Bad and The Smug. It’s about goblin king Mordak, who discovers that someone is pumping gold into the human kingdom and threatening his rule. He sets out on a journey to find out what is going on, assisted by an elf with a background in journalism and a masters degree in smugness.

The characters are so well-written with all their quirks and foibles that they are thoroughly believable and there are plenty of twists and turns in the story. The book is based on the concept of a multiverse (multiple universes) and in these alternate worlds Holt brilliantly satirizes just about every aspect of modern society, from journalism and fashion to economics and politics.

The second book I read was Christopher Moore’s A Dirty Job. Everyday guy Charlie Asher, after a series of bizarre events, discovers he’s been recruited to be a Merchant of Death. His job is to collect the souls of the dead and store them until they’re ready to be placed into a new body. If he fails to do it properly, ‘Darkness will cover the World and Chaos will reign.’

The story takes place in the real world with a mix of humans, mythical creatures and other Merchants of Death like Charlie, who’ve had supernatural powers thrust upon them. Like The Good, The Bad and The Smug, it’s full of eccentric characters, who are very engaging and believable. I’ve come to the conclusion that while authentic, fleshed-out characters are essential in any novel, they are even more so in fantasy, for the reader to be able to suspend their everyday beliefs to enter into the fantasy world.

The fact that death is the central theme of A Dirty Job adds a mystical ambiguity to the story – after all, none of us knows what happens after death, so there’s no reality to compare it to.

My Christmas Comfort Zone

Both books had laugh out loud moments and I highly recommend them. And – serendipity! – both authors have written lots of other books, so in a couple of weeks I’ll be on the couch binge-reading in my Christmas Comfort Zone, draped in tinsel with a sprig of holly behind my ear.

The next test will be reading a fantasy that’s not funny. If anyone can recommend one, or any other fantasy novel they’ve enjoyed, funny or not, I’d love you to comment in the comments box below.

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Book Titles – What’s In a Name?

Steinbeck’s pain is my pain 

I love that cartoon, not only because it makes me laugh, but because I can feel Steinbeck’s pain. It’s exactly what I’ve been going through for the last few months as I was writing my novella – I could not for the life of me come up with a title for it. It was saved on my computer as a document called ‘Novella’ and when talking about it I referred to it as ‘my novella.’ It felt and sounded strange and impersonal, as if it didn’t have an identity, like having a six month old baby called Baby.

While it didn’t worry me at first, I became more frustrated as I was nearing completion, because I wanted to start promoting it, which is difficult when it doesn’t have a title.

Why are titles important?

Authors have to put a great deal of consideration into their book titles - along with the cover, it’s the most important determinant of whether someone will buy your book. An effective title not only indicates what the book’s about, but what genre it is. One thing an author can pretty well count on if published by traditional publishers is having their book title changed, usually to make the book more marketable.

Often the title is enough on its own to attract consumers. Take the movie Snakes on a Plane. Samuel L. Jackson is quoted as saying, ‘All I needed to hear was the title and I knew I wanted to be in this film.’ I’m sure that those cinema goers who don’t suffer from ophidiophobia thought the same, as there can be no doubt about the subject matter of the movie.

However, I’m one person who remains unimpressed by that title. I have never seen this movie, because the moment I step on an aircraft, my mind decides to conjure up every air disaster movie I’ve ever seen, starting from Airport in 1970, and play them on a loop throughout the flight. I refuse to add any more fuel to the fire of my imagination.

Famous book titles that almost weren’t

There are many instances where famous books have started off with unprepossessing titles. The Great Gatsby was originally called Trimalchio in West Egg. It’s not hard to see why F Scott Fitzgerald’s publishers quickly asked him to change it. Margaret Mitchell was considering Tote The Weary Load, Not In Our Stars and Bugles Sang True before settling for Gone with the Wind.

War and Peace was originally called All’s Well That Ends Well and maybe John Steinbeck really did have a problem with titles, as his novel Of Mice and Men started off with the very unimaginative title Something That Happened. You’d have to agree that in all the above instances the revised title was far better.

Weird book titles

And if you want some ideas about what not to call your novel, type ‘weird book titles’ into Google and you’ll be entertained for hours. Here’s just a small sample: (these are real books).

Bombproof Your Horse

How to Dissappear Completely And Never Be Found (complete with misspelling)

Dating For Under A Dollar – 301 Ideas (This was written 10 years ago when a dollar was really worth – well, a dollar)

Teach Your Wife To Be A Widow – which may result in her being one sooner than you thought.

How to Avoid Huge Ships.

One reviewer wrote, ‘I was jogging around the block when all of a sudden I was almost struck by a huge ship! Thankfully I had read How to Avoid Huge Ships. I have lived to tell the tale and now I only hope future generations read this lifesaver.’

Annual odd title award

There’s even an annual award, run by The Bookseller, a British trade magazine for the publishing industry, for the oddest book title. In 2014 a self-published book won for the first time – Strangers Have the Best Candy.(Thankfully this is not a children’s book).

Previous winners of the Award include:

Managing A Dental Practice –The Genghis Khan Way

If You Want Closure In Your Relationship Start With Your Legs

Cooking With Poo (the chef’s name is Khun Poo)

People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead – How They Attach Themselves To Unsuspecting Bystanders And What To Do About It.

I was delighted to read that one of my favourite Australian authors Kaz Cooke won the award in 2002 for her book Living with Crazy Buttocks. It’s a collection of essays about contemporary life, including female body image, and is hilarious – I’d highly recommend it. You can buy it as a print book on Amazon.

My problem is solved

But enough diversions. Let’s get back to my problem of not having a title for my romantic suspense novella. I brainstormed with my partner, I stopped thinking about it to let my subconscious do the work, I swore, pigged out on chocolate. Nothing worked. I came up with a couple of titles (one of which was A Dangerous Affair) but when I typed them into the search engines of Amazon and Goodreads, I found at least a dozen other books with exactly the same title.

Then it happened. A flash of inspiration just after I’d eaten lunch, when my brain and stomach were in sync. A Dangerous Affair was out, but what about An Affair with Danger?

I searched for the title on Amazon and Goodreads and bingo! Nothing! So An Affair With Danger is now the title, proving to myself yet again that we often ignore the simplest solution to a problem (in this case, just switching the words around) which is right under our nose.

My Novella – An Affair With Danger

An Affair with Danger is still with my beta readers, so will undergo further re-writing and editing, but here’s a brief synopsis:

Corporate lawyer Will McPherson is the victim of an armed hold-up and when he meets the perpetrator’s girlfriend Frankie Slater in court, he is instantly smitten. Their liaison puts them both in danger, and ultimately becomes a matter of life or death.

If you want to know more about novellas and why I decided to write one, you can read my previous post The Novella - Don't Sell It Short.

P.S. If you happen to know of a book with that title that has somehow escaped my attention, please leave me in my blissful ignorance.

PPS John Steinbeck’s wife Carol Henning came up with the title The Grapes of Wrath, taken directly from a line in the anthem The Battle Hymn of the Republic, thereby saving him from further fruity metaphors.

​Have you come across any weird or misleading book titles? Or had any book title dilemmas yourself?  I'd love to read your comments in the box below.

Cartoon courtesy of cartoon stock. ​

The post appeared first on Robin Storey.

Why Do Writers Love To Write In Coffee Shops?

Since becoming a full-time writer I’ve become a cliché – I love writing in coffee shops. I’ve written in a previous post about my local library being my favourite office away from home, but coffee shops come in as equal favourite.

IT'S A TRADITION

In my defence, I’m continuing to uphold a fine and noble tradition of writers working in coffee shops and cafes, from TS Elliott, Franz Kafka, Gertrude Stein and F Scott Fitzgerald to many modern writers. The most famous is J.K. Rowling, who wrote much of her early Harry Potter novels in the Elephant House in Edinburgh.

An urban myth grew up that she wrote there because she couldn’t afford heating in her flat. But she disputed this in a radio interview, saying that walking her baby in her pram to the coffee shop put her to sleep (the baby, not J.K.), which gave her free time to write.

The Elephant House must have a great creative vibe, as Inspector Rebus creator Ian Rankin and The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency author Alexander McCall Smith have also slaved away there. When I was in Edinburgh a few years ago I visited the Elephant House and had a coffee there. I sat in the back room where JK Rowling had sat overlooking Edinburgh Castle and imagined myself in her shoes, scribbling away madly to get as much done before the baby woke up, wrestling the demons in her mind that told her it was crap and no-one would ever publish it. (I am taking a bit of literary licence here, as I have never heard her admit to the demons, but as most writers experience them, especially with their first novels, I think I’m safe in this assumption). May Lord Voldemort cast a curse on me and torture me with snakes if I’m wrong.

THERE ARE MANY THEORIES

Theories abound as to why writers are attracted to coffee shops. One of the main reasons may be visibility. Psychologists say that for a role to be internalized, it has to be observed in public. As writing is a solitary occupation, maybe we writers feel the need to be acknowledged, that we think we’re not real writers unless people see us writing. Or it could just be pure pretension.

The problem with that observation is that it’s so commonplace these days for all types of business people to sit in coffee shops tapping away on their laptops or tablets that unless you have a sign beside you saying ‘Writer at Work,’ no-one else has a clue what you’re writing.

TIP: Try looking up from your work occasionally, staring pensively into the distance as if invoking the Muse, then resume writing furiously as inspiration has suddenly struck you. This, combined with the occasional sigh or creased brow, will signal to other patrons that you’re not just writing an email to Mum or the annual shareholders’ report, but are engaged in an Important Creative Process.

I don’t have a favourite coffee shop – part of the fun is going to a different one each time. The surrounding buzz and chatter provides just the right amount of background noise for me to be able to focus on my work. The big plus is that there are no distractions, (apart from eavesdropping and people watching, but they are part of a writer’s job description) so I can’t put off my writing by doing the washing or taking a nap on the couch.

THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT

For those who still want that same vibe without leaving home, there’s an app called Coffitivity, that provides background coffee shop noise. But not, of course, the ambience – to a coffee shop purist, it’s like serving them instant coffee and trying to convince them it’s the real thing. Unless the app comes with the aroma of fresh coffee beans (high on my list of favourite things) and a barista who makes a full-bodied heart-starter of a cappuccino, I’m not interested.

IT'S FUN AND PRODUCTIVE

There’s also an element of fun in writing in coffee shops – it doesn’t feel like work. Non-fiction author Malcolm Gladwell of The Tipping Point and Blink Fame, long ago eschewed his office in favour of cafes and restaurants. He’s quoted as saying, ‘Writing seems like a fun activity now... it’s more seamlessly integrated into my life and that’s made it much more pleasurable.’

Many writers, myself included, find our productivity is highest when writing in coffee shops, especially when we’re in creative, first draft mode. Psychologists say that when we’re alone in a public space we have a fear of being seen to have no purpose. So we think it’s not acceptable to sit in a coffee shop alone if we’re not doing something - which explains why non-writers who frequent restaurants and cafes alone usually engage in some activity to look busy - check their phones, read a book or magazine etc. If we’re seen to be doing something purposeful, we can’t be accused of loitering and management are less likely to throw us out – even if we’ve been there for two hours and only had one coffee.

THERE'S A TIME LIMIT

And that brings me to the main disadvantage of writing in coffee shops – limited time. Just how long is it acceptable to sit in a coffee shop on the strength of one coffee? It’s not that I’m mean – I’m not able to drink more than one cup of coffee in the space of a few hours. I make it last as long as I can, but one hour is usually my limit. After that, I feel as if I’m overextending my welcome. It does mean that I get a lot of writing done in that hour, but then I have to get up and go elsewhere – usually the library.

I’ve heard of writers spending all day writing in the one coffee shop. I can only assume they eat their lunch there and drink copious amounts of coffee during the day to keep the management on side. One writer I know of turns up to his favourite coffee shop each morning at 7am when they open and is there until 6pm. That’s true dedication for you. Or caffeine addiction.

THIS NOVEL IS SPONSORED BY MY LOCAL CAFE

At the very least, he’d have to offer the proprietor a free, signed copy of his book upon publication. Unless, of course, the coffee shop was sponsoring his novel. Which, come to think of it, is not a bad idea. In return for the privilege of ensconcing myself all day in my local coffee shop with a constant supply of coffee, delicacies and neck rubs, I’d be more than happy to have inscribed on the cover of my next novel ‘Sponsored by The Raw Bean Cafe’ and even the odd ad inside.

The possibilities are endless.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Do you think writers in coffee shops should have an arrow pointing at them that says, 'Pretentious Arty Type?' Should they be entitled to free coffee in exchange for a certain number of words (eg every 1000 words = one large latte with an extra shot), or failing that, tea and sympathy?

Chime in, writers and non-writers alike.

The post Why Do Writers Love To Write In Coffee Shops? appeared first on Robin Storey.

How To Write Book Reviews On Amazon

It’s tough being a reader these days – that is, if you buy your books on Amazon. You can’t just read the book, enjoy it and go on to the next one. No, siree!

Not only have you got the author asking you (very nicely, of course) to post a review on Amazon for them, and they may even explain why it’s so important and they’ll be your BFF if you do, but you then have Amazon itself emailing you to ask, ‘What did you think of the book? Would you like to leave a review?’

I don’t always read a book as soon as I buy it. It often has to wait patiently in the queue while I finish the books ahead of it – usually those I’ve borrowed from the library, as they get a little antsy if my books are overdue. So I often get a reminder email from Amazon about posting a review before I’ve even read the book.

I almost always post a review on Amazon on the books I’ve bought there. This is because

(a) I enjoy writing book reviews and

(b) as an author myself, I appreciate the importance for authors of getting as many reviews as possible.

If you don’t know why, this is it in a nutshell – the number of reviews affects your visibility on Amazon - the more reviews your novels get, the greater your visibility on Amazon, and potentially the higher your sales.

But I do appreciate that many readers either hate writing reviews, couldn’t be bothered, forget and a myriad other reasons. Research shows that only about 2% of book buyers leave a review, so I’m always very appreciative when a reader makes the effort to post a review. Amazon has made it even easier for reviewers now, in that it gives you the option of four multiple choice questions to complete:

How would you describe the plot of this book? Predictable/some twists/full of surprisesWhich of these words describes the mood? Hopeful/dark/nostalgic/light-hearted/suspenseful/thoughtfulHow would you describe the pace? Slow/steady/fastHow would you describe the characters? One dimensional/developed/complex

Then there’s a box below the questions for you to write a review in your own words, perhaps to expound on the questions you’ve answered, or bring up other aspects of the book. I don’t know what happens if you just answer the questions without writing anything in the review box– I did that a couple of days ago as an experiment for one of the books I’d bought and didn’t see my answers posted on Amazon.

So if you would like to write a review, but don’t know where to start here are my tips:

Write the headline last

Often that’s the hardest part, so leave it until you’ve written the review and it may come to you in a flash of inspiration. You could write a headline that summarises your review, such as:

Lots of twists and turns with a surprise ending.

Entertaining story with lots of laughs.

I couldn’t go to sleep until I‘d finished this book.

Or you can make it a recommendation:

Fans of hot romance will love this book.

If you love crime with plenty of action, you'll enjoy this book.

As with any piece of writing, your headline will often determine whether people read your review, and a well-written review will help other readers decide whether to buy the book.

Use the Amazon multiple choice questions

You don’t necessarily have to answer them, but use them as springboards for your comments. If you can write a sentence or two each on plot, characters and style of writing, it would be more than adequate. It doesn’t have to be to the standard of the New York Times Book Review, just write conversationally as if describing the book to a friend.

If all the above still sounds like hard work:

One sentence is fine. Two words even. Two recent reviews for my novel How Not To Commit Murder were ‘Good read’ and Very funny.’ I’m happy with that – I would rather have them than not, particularly as they were both 5 star ratings.

If you’re reviewing a non-fiction book, your review format will be different. You could mention:

How thoroughly the book covers the subject matterIf the style of writing was clear and easy to understandIf it added to your knowledge/motivated you to take action

And a headline that sums up your opinion:

Helpful Resource for Nude Bungee Jumpers.

The Only Book on Bull Castration You’ll Ever Need.

One question that is frequently asked is:

Should I post a review if I hated the book?

Authors have varying opinions on this. When requesting reviews, particularly from book bloggers, some authors will ask them not to make the review public if it’s negative, as negative reviews bring the average star rating down. Some book bloggers will comply with that request and some have it as part of their policy. Others warn that they will post the review regardless – that’s the risk the author takes when they request a review. And of course it’s completely up to the reader – the author can’t stop anyone from posting a bad review.

I’m of the opinion that any author who tries to put an embargo on negative reviews is being a bit of a diva. (Unless they're the victim of a campaign to discredit them by posting negative reviews, in which case Amazon will take action, once alerted). When you release a book into the Amazon wilderness, there will always be people who don’t like it for any number of reasons and you just have to learn to suck it up. Even Harry Potter has had one star reviews – every literary work in history has had its detractors.

But what I would recommend is that if you genuinely don’t like the book, don’t just launch into a diatribe about its awfulness:

This book is so bad I wouldn’t use it to line the kitty litter tray.

Give specific reasons:

The plot was full of holes/ The characters were clichéd/ The pace was too slow and I lost interest.

(Or all of the above). That way, you’re giving other readers an indication of why they might/might not like the book.

It can also be useful feedback for the author. No-one can deny that negative reviews hurt (any author who does is lying) and if it’s just the occasional one, you read it and try to forget it. Unless it happens to be one of many, all saying the same thing. If you’re getting a ton of reviews saying that your plot drags or your characters are dull, you'd need to give serious consideration to the fact they could be right.

There’s one proviso to this:

Don’t read a book in a genre that you’re not a fan of and then post a review saying how much you hated it. You just end up showing your ignorance. As in:

The Billionaire’s Marriage Tryst is lame. There’s way too much emphasis on unrequited love and Arabella and Brandon end up in each other’s arms at the end - so predictable!

Or Vampires on Mars is a crap book. Such a weird concept, full of way out creatures and places, and things that couldn’t possibly happen in real life.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on reviews. Do you write reviews of books you’ve bought? Do other readers’ reviews influence your decision to buy a book? Chime in below.

The post How To Write Book Reviews On Amazon appeared first on Robin Storey.

Why Do Writers Love to Write in Coffee Shops?

The Elephant House

 

Since becoming a full-time writer I’ve become a cliché – I love writing in coffee shops. I’ve written in a previous post about my local library being my favourite office away from home, but coffee shops come in as equal favourite.

IT'S A TRADITION

In my defence, I’m continuing to uphold a fine and noble tradition of writers working in coffee shops and cafes, from TS Elliott, Franz Kafka, Gertrude Stein and F Scott Fitzgerald to many modern writers. The most famous is J.K. Rowling, who wrote much of her early Harry Potter novels in the Elephant Café in Edinburgh.

An urban myth grew up that she wrote there because she couldn’t afford heating in her flat. But she disputed this in a radio interview, saying that walking her baby in her pram to the coffee shop put her to sleep (the baby, not J.K.), which gave her free time to write.

The Elephant Café must have a great creative vibe, as Inspector Rebus creator Ian Rankin and The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency author Alexander McCall Smith have also slaved away there. When I was in Edinburgh a few years ago I visited the Elephant Café and had a coffee there.  I sat in the back room where JK Rowling had sat overlooking Edinburgh Castle and imagined myself in her shoes, scribbling away madly to get as much done before the baby woke up, wrestling the demons in her mind that told her it was crap and no-one would ever publish it. (I am taking a bit of literary licence here, as I have never heard her admit to the demons, but as most writers experience them, especially with their first novels, I think I’m safe in this assumption). May Lord Voldemort cast a curse on me and torture me with snakes if I’m wrong.

THERE ARE MANY THEORIES

Theories abound as to why writers are attracted to coffee shops.  One of the main reasons may be visibility. Psychologists say that for a role to be internalized, it has to be observed in public. As writing is a solitary occupation, maybe we writers feel the need to be acknowledged, that we think we’re not real writers unless people see us writing. Or it could just be pure pretension.

The problem with that observation is that it’s so commonplace these days for all types of business people to sit in coffee shops tapping away on their laptops or tablets that unless you have a sign beside you saying ‘Writer at Work,’ no-one else has a clue what you’re writing.

TIP: Try looking up from your work occasionally, staring pensively into the distance as if invoking the Muse, then resume writing furiously as inspiration has suddenly struck you.  This, combined with the occasional sigh or creased brow, will signal to other patrons that you’re not just writing an email to Mum or the annual shareholders’ report, but are engaged in an Important Creative Process.

I don’t have a favourite coffee shop – part of the fun is going to a different one each time. The surrounding buzz and chatter provides just the right amount of background noise for me to be able to focus on my work. The big plus is that there are no distractions, (apart from eavesdropping and people watching, but they are part of a writer’s job description) so I can’t put off my writing by doing the washing or taking a nap on the couch.

THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT 

For those who still want that same vibe without leaving home, there’s an app called Coffitivity, that provides background coffee shop noise. But not, of course, the ambience – to a coffee shop purist, it’s like serving them instant coffee and trying to convince them it’s the real thing. Unless the app comes with the aroma of fresh coffee beans (high on my list of favourite things) and a barista who makes a full-bodied heart-starter of a cappuccino, I’m not interested.

IT'S FUN AND PRODUCTIVE

There’s also an element of fun in writing in coffee shops – it doesn’t feel like work.  Non-fiction author Malcolm Gladwell of The Tipping Point and Blink Fame, long ago eschewed his office in favour of cafes and restaurants. He’s quoted as saying, ‘Writing seems like a fun activity now... it’s more seamlessly integrated into my life and that’s made it much more pleasurable.’

Many writers, myself included, find our productivity is highest when writing in coffee shops, especially when we’re in creative, first draft mode.  Psychologists say that when we’re alone in a public space we have a fear of being seen to have no purpose. So we think it’s not acceptable to sit in a coffee shop alone if we’re not doing something - which explains why non-writers who frequent restaurants and cafes alone usually engage in some activity to look busy - check their phones, read a book or magazine etc. If we’re seen to be doing something purposeful, we can’t be accused of loitering and management are less likely to throw us out – even if we’ve been there for two hours and only had one coffee.

THERE'S A TIME LIMIT

And that brings me to the main disadvantage of writing in coffee shops – limited time. Just how long is it acceptable to sit in a coffee shop on the strength of one coffee?  It’s not that I’m mean – I’m not able to drink more than one cup of coffee in the space of a few hours.  I make it last as long as I can, but one hour is usually my limit. After that, I feel as if I’m overextending my welcome.  It does mean that I get a lot of writing done in that hour, but then I have to get up and go elsewhere – usually the library.

I’ve heard of writers spending all day writing in the one coffee shop.  I can only assume they eat their lunch there and drink copious amounts of coffee during the day to keep the management on side. One writer I know of turns up to his favourite coffee shop each morning at 7am when they open and is there until 6pm. That’s true dedication for you. Or caffeine addiction.

THIS NOVEL IS SPONSORED BY MY LOCAL CAFE

At the very least, he’d have to offer the proprietor a free, signed copy of his book upon publication. Unless, of course, the coffee shop was sponsoring his novel. Which, come to think of it, is not a bad idea. In return for the privilege of ensconcing myself all day in my local coffee shop with a constant supply of coffee, delicacies and neck rubs, I’d be more than happy to have inscribed on the cover of my next novel ‘Sponsored by The Raw Bean Cafe’ and even the odd ad inside.

The possibilities are endless.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Do you think writers in coffee shops should have an arrow pointing at them that says, 'Pretentious Arty Type?'  Should they be entitled to free coffee in exchange for a certain number of words (eg every 1000 words = one  large latte with an extra shot), or failing that, tea and sympathy?

Chime in, writers and non-writers alike.

 

Share my post with your friends

How To Write Book Reviews on Amazon

Amazon authors appreciate book reviews

It’s tough being a reader these days – that is, if you buy your books on Amazon. You can’t just read the book, enjoy it and go on to the next one. No, siree!

Not only have you got the author asking you (very nicely, of course) to post a review on Amazon for them, and they may even explain why it’s so important and they’ll be your BFF if you do,  but you then have Amazon itself emailing you to ask, ‘What did you think of the book?  Would you like to leave a review?’

I don’t always read a book as soon as I buy it. It often has to wait patiently in the queue while I finish the books ahead of it – usually those I’ve borrowed from the library, as they get a little antsy if my books are overdue. So I often get a reminder email from Amazon about posting a review before I’ve even read the book.

I almost always post a review on Amazon on the books I’ve bought there.  This is because

(a) I enjoy writing book reviews and

(b) as an author myself, I appreciate the importance for authors of getting as many reviews as possible.

If you don’t know why, this is it in a nutshell – the number of reviews affects your visibility on Amazon  - the more reviews your novels get, the greater your visibility on Amazon, and potentially the higher your sales.

But I do appreciate that many readers either hate writing reviews, couldn’t be bothered, forget and a myriad other reasons.  Research shows that only about 2% of book buyers leave a review, so I’m always very appreciative when a reader makes the effort to post a review. Amazon has made it even easier for reviewers now, in that it gives you the option of four multiple choice questions to complete:

How would you describe the plot of this book?  Predictable/some twists/full of surprises
Which of these words describes the mood? Hopeful/dark/nostalgic/light-hearted/suspenseful/thoughtful
How would you describe the pace? Slow/steady/fast
How would you describe the characters? One dimensional/developed/complex

Then there’s a box below the questions for you to write a review in your own words, perhaps to expound on the questions you’ve answered, or bring up other aspects of the book. I don’t know what happens if you just answer the questions without writing anything in the review box– I did that a couple of days ago as an experiment for one of the books I’d bought and didn’t see my answers posted on Amazon.

So if you would like to write a review, but don’t know where to start here are my tips:

Write the headline last

Often that’s the hardest part, so leave it until you’ve written the review and it may come to you in a flash of inspiration.  You could write a headline that summarises your review, such as:

Lots of twists and turns with a surprise ending.

Entertaining story with lots of laughs.

I couldn’t go to sleep until I‘d finished this book.

Or you can make it a recommendation:

Fans of hot romance will love this book.

If you love crime with plenty of action, you'll enjoy this book.

As with any piece of writing, your headline will often determine whether people read your review, and a well-written review will help other readers decide whether to buy the book.

Use the Amazon multiple choice questions

You don’t necessarily have to answer them, but use them as springboards for your comments. If you can write a sentence or two each on plot, characters and style of writing, it would be more than adequate. It doesn’t have to be to the standard of the New York Times Book Review, just write conversationally as if describing the book to a friend.

If all the above still sounds like hard work:

One sentence is fine.  Two words even. Two recent reviews for my novel How Not To Commit Murder were ‘Good read’ and Very funny.’  I’m happy with that – I would rather have them than not, particularly as they were both 5 star ratings.

If you’re reviewing a non-fiction book, your review format will be different.  You could mention:

How thoroughly the book covers the subject matter
If the style of writing was clear and easy to understand
If it added to your knowledge/motivated you to take action

And  a headline that sums up your opinion:

Helpful Resource for Nude Bungee Jumpers.

The Only Book on Bull Castration You’ll Ever Need.

One question that is frequently asked is:

Should I post a review if I hated the book?

Authors have varying opinions on this.  When requesting reviews, particularly from book bloggers, some authors will ask them not to make the review public if it’s negative, as negative reviews bring the average star rating down.  Some book bloggers will comply with that request and some have it as part of their policy. Others warn that they will post the review regardless – that’s the risk the author takes when they request a review. And of course it’s completely up to the reader – the author can’t stop anyone from posting a bad review.

I’m of the opinion that any author who tries to put an embargo on negative reviews is being a bit of a diva. (Unless they're the victim of a campaign to discredit them by posting negative reviews, in which case Amazon will take action, once alerted). When you release a book into the Amazon wilderness, there will always be people who don’t like it for any number of reasons and you just have to learn to suck it up. Even Harry Potter has had one star reviews – every literary work in history has had its detractors.

But what I would recommend is that if you genuinely don’t like the book, don’t just launch into a diatribe about its awfulness:

This book is so bad I wouldn’t use it to line the kitty litter tray.

Give specific reasons:

The plot was full of holes/ The characters were clichéd/ The pace was too slow and I lost interest.

(Or all of the above). That way, you’re giving other readers an indication of why they might/might not like the book.

It can also be useful feedback for the author. No-one can deny that negative reviews hurt (any author who does is lying) and if it’s just the occasional one, you read it and try to forget it. Unless it happens to be one of many, all saying the same thing. If you’re  getting a ton of reviews saying that your plot drags or your characters are dull, you'd need to give serious consideration to the fact they could be right.

There’s one proviso to this:

Don’t read a book in a genre that you’re not a fan of and then post a review saying how much you hated it. You just end up showing your ignorance. As in:

The Billionaire’s Marriage Tryst is lame. There’s way too much emphasis on unrequited love and Arabella and Brandon end up in each other’s arms at the end - so predictable!

Or Vampires on Mars is a crap book. Such a weird concept, full of way out creatures and places, and things that couldn’t possibly happen in real life.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on reviews. Do you write reviews of books you’ve bought?   Do other readers’ reviews influence your decision to buy a book? Chime in below.

 

Share my post with your friends