Lisa M. Buske's Blog, page 97

April 3, 2014...20 years Missing ~ Heidi M Allen

Twenty years ago my phone rang and I thought there was a misunderstanding, kidnapping doesn't happen in New Haven, New York...well, it hadn't. Our family, town, and lives changed forever that morning. The kidnappers took more than Heidi, they stole a town's security and peace. We had choices to make, we could sit around and do nothing or we could join forces, pray, and do something to find Heidi and bring her home.

The way our community rallied was, and continues to be, a blessing I count in my prayers each day. Today is a difficult day, one of the most challenging I've felt since the ten year anniversary. I think it's because the decade anniversaries are usually milestone celebrations but when your loved one is missing, it's another hurdle you never thought you'd have to jump. The good news is, at ten years I said, "I don't have another ten years in me." Not that I'm happy we still don't know where Heidi is ten years later, God reminded me last night as I cried so hard that it was like a water fountain from my eyes...

God's strength holds me up however long I might have to wait
God's love surrounds me 24/7
God's timing is not mine and it's perfect
God's grace, mercy, and compassion are new everyday
God loves me
God loved Heidi
With my eyes fixed on God...I will survive

With God, all things are possible. Tomorrow is a "Footprints in the Sand" kind of day. Thank you all for remembering Heidi and being there for us all. We hope you'll join us at the New Haven Fire Barn at 6:30 p.m. Bring a candle for the vigil at 7:42 p.m. too

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even  youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in  exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
 They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:29 -31

The LORD your God is in your midst, 
a mighty one who will  save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;   
he will quiet you by his love; 
he will exult over you with loud singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

Continued hope for Heidi...
Thank you and see you tonight!

Thankful for our Volunteer Fire Department

Twenty years ago the New Haven Fire Department opened it's arms, hearts, and space to our family, law enforcement, and the community. They became the hub of the Heidi Allen Command Center, providing more than the obvious conveniences: heat, electricity, running water, indoor plumbing, refreshments, and some place to rest your hat.

Our volunteer firemen and women, and the auxiliary opened their hearts and lives to our family and community. They did this twenty years ago and they are doing it again tomorrow. Their generosity once again overwhelms us and we want you all to know what an amazing organization and town we live in.

Please join us tomorrow, on the 20th anniversary of Heidi Allen's kidnapping, at 6:30 p.m. at the New Haven Fire Barn for a community gathering of hope. We'll have a social hour from 6:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m., with the candle light vigil at 7:42 p.m.

During the social hour:
*National Center for Missing and Exploited Children: Information on their Take 25 Campaign and things to help parents and kiddos understand safety
*Oswego County Sheriff's Department: finger printing kits for the kiddos, every child should have this done
*Memory Tables: news clippings, photos, buttons, etc from 1994 on display
*Surprise Display Table:
*Photographic Show of over 300 photos taken mostly in the initial days and weeks of the search
*Guest books to sign and leave a note for the family
*Light Refreshments

Remember to BRING YOUR OWN CANDLE, some HOPE, and we'll LIGHT HEIDI'S WAY HOME like we did twenty years ago in this very spot. Thank you everyone!
1994 2014 Leave a comment to encourage those who serve...

TOP's Tuesday: What is a writer without words?

I've spent the past couple years looking forward to writing each week's TOP's Tuesday until today. Don't get me wrong, I still love this blog as it's one way to honor Heidi each week and share any new updates about my writing or speaking but this week the meaning is much deeper and the words seem to be few.

This Thursday, a short two days away, when the clock strikes 7:42 a.m., we will remember the last time we knew where Heidi was and that she was okay. On April 3, 1994, Heidi Allen went to work so a coworker could stay home to watch her kiddos find and enjoy their Easter baskets. This year, on the 20th anniversary of Heidi's kidnapping we will gather at the very spot used in the initial moments following Heidi's abduction. With this Community Gathering of Hope so near, you'd think I would have a lot to share with you on the TOP's Tuesday blog yet words fail me.

I could write about the process of scanning all the pictures we found from the fire barn and community events for Heidi. I could share the pain and grief felt to see so many faces that are no longer with us today, because twenty years is a long time. I might tell you how many tears were shed as over three hundred pictures were scanned, cropped, edited, and then put together into a slide show to share with all of you on Thursday. Or possibly, share how our community is such a blessing to me and to compile this slide show brought encouragement at the same time. 

Or do I write about the thoughts running circles in my brain as I make new buttons to share with the community. Memories of the fire barn, the center, and all the volunteers who gave so much to help us search for Heidi. Then the thoughts transition to the families of the volunteers, or our law enforcement's families, who sacrificed so you could be there.

Do I share how friends today continue to pray me through this week, with God hearing and answering each prayer? Do I share the things I learned this week, another wedding I attended but don't have a memory of being there? Do I tell you how embarrassed and ashamed I was when I looked a friend in the eyes to hear about their wedding reception and that I even made them an album with pictures yet don't remember being there. What kind of friend am I?

I could write about the surprise my daughter is making to share with all of you, as a gift to my parents and you. Do I reflect on the interviews I've done in the past week and those I have in the next couple days?

Check it out, for not knowing what to write...I wrote a lot. Maybe the better descriptive would be, focused on preparations for Thursday. Focus is frazzled as my mind attempts to accept Heidi's been missing two decades as of Thursday. I'm encouraged because Thursday is an opportunity for us to say thank you to all of you. And then there is the excitement on April 3rd, as it's the anniversary of the release of Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey. This brings much mixed emotion.

So from a writer without words to you, the reader ~ thank you.

Time to Light Heidi M Allen's Way Home

Hello everyone, how are you? I hope you enjoyed your weekend and took time to make some memories with your family and friends. My apologies to those wondering where I've been and if everything is okay. While I haven't blogged the past couple days, I have been busy and enjoying each moment.

This coming Thursday, April 3, 2014, represents the 20th anniversary of my sister's abduction from the D & W Convenience Store, located at the State Route 104 and 104b intersection. She disappeared on Easter Sunday two decades ago and remains missing today. Each anniversary is a challenge for the parents, family, friends, and community yet when you face milestone dates, the effect is magnified. Typically, you think of celebrating with those closest to you, sharing the years passed and the ones yet to come.

Heidi's kidnapping is tragic and made an impact on our family, friends, community, and beyond. While we won't celebrate Heidi's absence from our lives on Thursday, we have decided to come together to remember and honor her. Instead of retreating within the comfort of our homes, we look forward to joining all of you. Some of you were there twenty years ago doing all you could to help in the search for Heidi, and others are new to the area or learned of Heidi's kidnapping more recently. As the family of a missing person, it's encouraging to be surrounded by so many who still remember and feel the loss as deeply as the family. New Haven, New York is more than a town, it's an extension of one's family.

I hope you will be able to join us this Thursday, April third, 6:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. to share memories, encouragement, and hope with each other as we remember Heidi, the search, and how life is different today compared to twenty years ago. As I scanned over three hundred pictures for the slide show (that will be playing throughout the evening) one thing is evident, the hair styles sure have changed. Anyway, back on topic, the initial hour is designed to give you an opportunity to come together with friends, family, and neighbors to remember, reflect, and relax.

While at the New Haven Fire Barn, in addition to visiting with each other prior there are a few things to do too. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) will be there with information about their Take 25 Campaign. The Oswego County Sheriff's Department will be available to do finger printing with the kiddos. With the help of my wonderful daughter, we've gone through storage bins and organized items from 1994 and 95' to share with all of you.

There will be three "Memory Tables" with photos, news clippings, and displays. At the same time, you can watch a photographic show of over 300 pictures on a continuous loop. If you get thirsty or crave a sugary treat, there will be light refreshments also.

Before you leave, be sure to sign one of the guest books. We may not get a chance to visit with each person so there, so we hope you'll take a moment and sign your name and leave a note. We're hoping to have one table you can sign or leave a note for others to read too. If the kiddos draw a picture, that's cool too. It will be wonderful to see everyone come together once again, like we did twenty years ago.

Our goal for Thursday is to offer an opportunity for everyone to come together, similar to when the New Haven Fire Department first opened its doors to our family, friends, and all who came to volunteer and serve.

Will there be tears shed? Probably.
Will there be laughter? We hope so.
Will memories be shared? Yes.
Will new memories be made? We hope so.
Will Heidi be remembered? Forever.
Will Heidi be forgotten? Never.

Bring your family and friends to the New Haven Fire Barn on Thursday, April 3, 2014, 6:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. for a time of fellowship and remembering our Heidi M Allen, missing twenty years yet never forgotten.

Note: NCMEC, finger printing, displays, and refreshments will be in the fire hall with the social hour taking place outside. Dress accordingly, we're praying for a sunny and warm day Thursday but in light of current weather, who knows what it may be like.

Remember to bring a candle for the vigil - we'll light Heidi's way home from around the flag pole as we did twenty years ago. May God bring all our missing home. See you on Thursday with a candle in your hand and hope in your heart...we'll join in prayer to light Heidi's way home.

A Steven Curtis Chapman Song I hadn't heard...

There is always hope...

Words from Others in remembrance of Heidi M Allen...

The above picture of Heidi and I is either from a wedding or Easter, or possibly we wore the dresses for both. I don't remember, but I'm guessing if Mom remembers, she'll clarify when she posts. I just think we look cute. Today's blog is actually a blog to share what others are saying.

This past Monday, Slam Dunks, blogger, shared about Heidi, her case, and the twentieth anniversary for his Missing Person Monday blog series. There were twenty comments the last time I checked, from across the country. Heidi is remembered near and far, praying this increased awareness of her case might help to reveal the missing puzzle piece to bring Heidi home.

Debra Groom, wrote a great story in today's edition of the Valley News. I learned new things while reading her article. It amazes me to still learn how different people learned of Heidi's disappearance or the face there were three feet signs on the Canadian border years after her kidnapping. To learn more, click on Heidi's missing person's flyer below or: http://valleynewsonline.com/blog/2014/03/26/people-still-remember-disappearance-of-heidi-allen-after-20-years/

During my interview with Debra, she asked if I would write a story to run alongside her article, written from the family's perspective. I was, am honored, to be asked. I shared it with my parents before submitting it. I love the way God works and how our two stories meshed so well. Thank you Deb for the invite and sharing.
To read my article, click on the photo of the teddy bear (created by the Lostnmissing.org) or http://valleynewsonline.com/blog/2014/03/26/heidi-allens-sister-writes-about-coping-with-loss/ Slam Dunks: Blogs about my sister's case for his "Missing Person's Monday" blog. I follow this blog and was stunned when I saw he highlighted Heidi's case this week in memory of her and the upcoming 20th anniversary of her disappearance. To read his blog and the comments from others, across the country - click on the photo of the basketball player, or use the link below... http://theslamdunktrove.blogspot.com/2014/03/twenty-years-missing.html

A little information about this blogger: "I am a thirty-something married sleep deprived Christian with little ones who uses this blog as an outlet. Growing up in a military family, I got to see a few different parts of the US.  I am much more comfortable being in the South, but currently reside North of the Mason-Dixon Line.  I spent almost a decade as the police and enjoy discussing law enforcement and crime." Articles in Today's Valley News - Pick up a copy today or
click on the two links below and read them now. Click on the above missing person's flyer for a direct link to Debra Groom's
article in the Valley News
3/26/2014. Click on the above teddy bear image
to read an article written by
Lisa Buske, Heidi's older sister,
that ran along side Debra Groom's
in the Valley News on 3/26/2014. Thank you for your continued support and prayers.
Do you have a memory to share?

TOP's Tuesday: Who thought up the "Where's Heidi?" Theme

With the 20th anniversary of Heidi's kidnapping around the corner, my parents and I brainstormed something new I haven't blogged about in the past during the weeks or days leading up to April third. As we looked through some of the pictures scanned, the above sign triggered the idea for today's blog.

Mom shared about talking with the family and volunteers at the Sarah Ann Wood center and how they used "Why?" as common question, this provides media with a catch phrase to associate with an individual case. Mom liked the idea of using a question and started the "Where's Heidi?" phrase. Dad painted the above sign and put it in their front yard for all to see. A declaration of love, hope, and determination from the parents of Heidi M Allen, one of America's missing, and one of New Haven's own. Before my parents knew it, t-shirts were ordered to ask the same question, "Where's Heidi?". Flyers were created and the media picked up on the momentum and started using it with their coverage of Heidi's search and rescue efforts. It's amazing the way one idea and thought can blossom into something bigger and so meaningful.

When it came time to title my book, we couldn't decide. I had a few that I tossed around but none really jumped out at me. One night while sitting at a Syracuse Chief's Baseball game I had an idea for a title so we called my parents. Little did we know at the time, they had come up with the very same title, written it on the pad of paper to share with me when we called later that night. Once we realized it was the same title, we knew it had to be.

Mom liked "Where's Heidi?" in April of 1994, and since we are still asking the same question today, it fits. My parents find the title of the book, Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey, hopeful because the first time Dad wrote it with paint on a piece of wood he hoped it would help bring Heidi home. When I placed it on the cover of the book, with the subtitle One Sister's Journey, I hoped it would encourage, inspire, and help others overcome loss in their life. God used two little words twenty years ago and each year since to share hope with others.

It's sad to still be asking this question, two decades later, but there is also something else that remains...HOPE. We, Heidi's family, friends, community, and neighbors prayed and hoped for Heidi's return in 1994 and will continue to do so until this question is answered.

Heidi M Allen, Missing and never forgotten! We never thought we'd still be asking the question today,
praying God answers this prayerful plea...

Flashbacking to 1994...Have you been following?

Photo taken in 1994: Ken & Sue Allen, Heidi M Allen's parents, Investigator Dean Goodsell, and Rick Benningfield (Search and Rescue Expert from the Heidi Search Center in San Antonio, Texas -http://heidisearchcenter.com/ ) We're doing things differently this year as the weeks turn into days, leading up to the anniversary of Heidi's kidnapping. Instead of a blog series, I'm sharing photographs on the Where's Heidi? Facebook page. With each picture is a little post to share a memory, thought, or seek your input. I've spent hours scanning over 300 pictures in the past weeks. My goal and hope is to put together a slide show to have running during the social hour at the "Community Gathering of Hope" on April third when we join our friends, family, neighbors, and community.

This scanning, cropping, editing, and posting of pictures from the initial days and weeks after Heidi's kidnapping have brought an array of emotions, grief, and memories to the surface. I've shed many tears, laughed out loud, and asked "Who is this?" more times than I can count. Rather than waiting until the third to share the photos, one or two are appearing on Facebook each day. Your comments of encouragement for the family are such a blessing, thank you.

We, my parents, husband, and I look forward to seeing anyone who can make it on April third. There is a part of me that wants to call in sick and not leave the house all day yet there is a much larger part of me that is excited and anticipates spending time with the very people who sacrificed on this very day, twenty years ago. We also have new friends and neighbors joining us that will experience the "family" New Haven is, for the first time.

This is a public event - the Oswego County Sheriff's Department will be there to do finger printing kits with the kiddos. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is joining us to share about their "Take 25" campaign and share the many amazing things they do to keep our children safe. We'll have balloons, refreshments, and close with a candle light vigil. Remember to bring a candle.

We'll have light refreshments too - friends, family, fellowship, and food! It doesn't get much better. The best part, is ending our time together lighting candles of hope for Heidi ~ 7:42 p.m., in memory of Heidi's last transaction at 7:42 a.m., twenty years ago. Do you have any pictures or memories to share from 1994?

Missing my Sister...Heidi M Allen ~ The Series

Blog #1 Blog #2 Blog #3 Enjoying time with the family today -
in case you missed this series or possibly one of the three...
click on any of the above images for a direct link to read them.

Have a great day and make some memories! Thanks for your prayers and remembering Heidi!

Missing my Sister, Heidi M Allen ~ Part III

In just over a week, Heidi M Allen, eighteen year old college student, friend, daughter, sister, and so much more...was kidnapped while working alone at the D & W Convenience store. There was no bell on the door. There were no security cameras installed. She worked alone, no one there to help her defend herself or call for help. It was Easter Sunday. She volunteered to work so her co-worker could be home to watch her children find their Easter baskets. Heidi's kindness, concern for others, and positive attitude placed her at the wrong place, at the right time.

Am I bitter? Not usually. Do I have moments of "What if...?" Yes. What if there were bells on the door? What if there were cameras installed? What if cellular phones were popular like they are today? What if she worked her assigned shift and didn't put others first? What if? What if? What if?

The only thing I gain from dwelling on the "what ifs" of life is increased anxiety. Why dwell in the past and the things we can't change? It's so silly, yet, as humans, this is something we do often.

The facts are what they are, and in situations like this the verse from Psalms:
"You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
Psalm 139:16 NLT

If our days are already determined, then why waste time with worry, wonder, and what if? I'm not doing it again! Okay, you know this isn't a true statement, my nature leads me into this negative, down swirl, and trap SO...I will modify my declaration. I will attempt to hide this Bible verse in my heart so when the w's try to claim my thoughts, I can rebuke them in Jesus name and keep moving forward in faith, hope, and love! A challenge? Yes, yet one worth accepting and reaching. Don't you think? This is a photo of Heidi & I - Summer 1989. When hear someone mention, "So & So, is celebrating their 20th anniversary." What do you think of? Weddings? Anniversaries? Birthday? Book Release? Marriage?

There are many things we think of and look forward to when the platinum anniversary is mentioned. But, in a situation like this, no one is going to pick out a new fine china set to gift or use to keep tradition. Instead of celebrating the kidnapping of Heidi M Allen on April third, we will remember her.

This anniversary is messing with my emotions and making concentration difficult. Twenty years ago I thought it was a mistake and Heidi would show up, but as the minutes transitioned into hours, days, weeks, years, and now decades...my thought is the same, "Who thought kidnapping could happen in a small town like New Haven, New York"? Sadly, kidnapping is not specific to any area, economic status, race, or country. Kidnapping and abduction do not discriminate.

In May of this year, Heidi would of celebrated her 20th college graduation but instead, a month prior this milestone, Heidi's memory will be honored and remembered at the New Haven Fire Department from 6:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. A candle light vigil will begin at 7:42 p.m., bring your own candle. Light refreshments will be provided. The Oswego County Sheriff's Department and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children will be there to do finger printing and share information on how to keep your kiddos safe in today's ever changing society. This is one way we hope to encourage, promote, and share hope with our community.

This anniversary is difficult because instead of being a milestone of joyful celebration, it is a double decade remembrance of tragedy. One day we'll know where Heidi is. One day someone will step up and contact law enforcement with the information that will bring Heidi home. One day, the human conscience will erupt in the people guilty of stealing this eighteen year old girl from our community and lives. God is bigger, more powerful, more loving, and always forgiving. He, and only He, has the ability to bring the answer to the surface to bring our Heidi M Allen home - let's pray it's sooner rather than later.

Until then, let's NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! I feel more encouraged, inspired, and motivated today than I have in a week - God is answering your prayers. Thank you everyone. If you knew Heidi M Allen - describe her in one word below!