Penny Watson's Blog, page 79
February 17, 2011
Context Is Everything
I have been thinking about grading scales lately.
About how some folks consider a 3-star rating "good" (which, technically, it is on Goodreads) and some folks (authors) who receive a 3 star rating want to fling their bodies off a bridge.
I tend to be an easy grader. If I like a book, I give it 4 or 5 stars. No fudging around. It's good, and I'm recommending it. According to my scale....
A= 5 stars
B= 4 stars
C= 3 stars
D= 2 stars
F= 1 star
3 stars is mediocre, not a great book. That's a C rating for me.
This is NOT the scale used at Goodreads, where....
1 star= didn't like it
2 stars= it was OK
3 stars= liked it
4 stars= really like it
5 stars= it was amazing
How the hell did Goodreads come up with this scale? I have no idea. No where else is an average rating considered "good"...which is the equivalent of "liked it" in my opinion.
Anyhow, back to the topic at hand. Which is context. I do not grade a book by a debut author in the same way that I grade a book by Nora Roberts. I also do not grade a quickie erotica book in the same way I grade a full-length historical. Why?
Consider this analogy. You're a food critic. One day you go to a diner, the next to a chi-chi French gourmet restaurant. You have to grade the food. Well, food is food, right? Your grading scale should be based on taste. The same criteria apply to both places.
Bull pucky.
This makes no logical sense. A diner serves greasy, fattening comfort food. Large quantities of it. A French gourmet restaurant serves tiny portions of artistically arranged food, using more unusual and sophisticated ingredients. Food is not food. Your expectations at the French restaurant are completely different than at the diner. If the French restaurant served you a big ass bowl of macaroni and cheese, they would probably get a 1-star rating (whereas that same food could earn the diner a 5 star rating if the mac was tasty!). Likewise, if a diner served 3 sprigs of arugula on a plate you would be outraged and demand your money back.
Context is everything.
A quickie erotica should be sexy and satisfying. I'm not looking for in-depth character development in a 20 page story. But I expect the sex scenes to be entertaining and not repetitive. A full-length historical by Eloisa James has a different set of expectations. I am looking for fully formed, flawed characters, a satisfying storyline, luscious sex scenes, and an intense and emotional romance. A debut author with a small publisher? Can she write, is the story cohesive, satisfying, entertaining? I don't expect a contemporary to have the same world-building details as a sci fi romance, or a fantasy/UF to have the same level of spice as an erotica. Each sub-genre has its own set of expectations.
Context is everything.
So, my 5-star rating for a debut author doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as a 5-star rating for Julia Quinn. Nor should it. I don't expect a newbie writer to have the same level of mastery of fiction-writing as Julia Quinn.
Some folks will disagree with me (oh, the horror!)....but this is my not-so-humble opinion about reviewing.
Luckily for me, I like macaroni and cheese, and arugula salad. Each has its merits and drawbacks, but I can appreciate both when they are done well.
Appreciating the vast diversity of the romance genre,Penelope
February 15, 2011
Penelope's Observations, Irritations, and Revelations about NYC
I'm back from NYC! Had a fabulous time visiting with my sis, made some new friends, saw some old friends, and got a whole lotta doxie love!
♥♥♥♥♥♥
Here are some observations about the Big Apple....
1.) A lot of furry animals died to keep the women of Manhattan warm at winter time. Seriously, I cannot believe how many fur coats I saw. (Where's a pail of fake blood when you need one?)
2.) Someone forgot to tell New Yorkers that smoking causes lung cancer.
3.) When you go to purchase tickets for the Top of the Rock and you ask the clerk if the view is clear, and she says "On a scale of 1-5, it's a five!"...don't believe her. It's cloudy as sh*t and you can't see a damned thing.
4.) French Bull Dogs snort and purr like a kitty when you rub their bellies.
5.) French Chocolate Shops + Day Before Valentine's Day = 1 pce. candy costs $15. Ha ha haa...holy crap, you gotta be kidding me.
6.) Had the best cup of coffee in my life at Gaby Restaurant at the Sofitel Hotel on W. 44th Street.
7.) The handlers and dog-owners at Westminster are fantastic. Friendly, talkative, lovely people.
8.) The dogs at Westminster are incredibly good sports. After primping, polishing, showing, dealing with a lot of stressful travel and the anxiety of the competition, they are wagging their tails and ready for a snuggle with everyone. I could just eat them up! (Or pop one in my tote bag and run away!).
9.) The live butterfly exhibit at the Natural History Museum is exquisite. It will blow you away!
10.) There is such incredible energy, color and life in China Town and Time Square. My kids were spell-bound. (Except when a gigantic freakin' rat ran across my husband's shoe...hee hee...how gross is that?).
Butterfly at the American Museum of Natural History
Matching beards....excellent!
Topiary bushes competing.
Long-haired doxies, looking so fine.
Weenies all in a row.
Wire-haired doxies in action.
Borzoi...fiercely loyal dog found in Christine Feehan's Dark Symphony. Check out Penelope's review.
Chewie, a small bundle of wire-haired love.
See more photos at The Quirky Ladies!
Love, Penelope
February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day from Penelope!
Happy Valentine's Day To All!
February 11, 2011
Beard of the Day
Ha ha! The only beard that counts this week! The sweet, lovable whiskers on a wirehaired doxie.
I will be gone from Saturday-Tuesday for my trip to NYC to see the Westminster Dog Show. Hope everyone has a great weekend and a festive Valentine's Day. I will try to check in via Twitter if possible.
Super quickie reading update: I read the crazy Orca shapeshifter book, The Orca King by D. Foster. It wasn't half bad (B-)...I enjoyed the Native American stuff, the interracial lovin' angle, and the legend was sort of sweet. The yucky flash-back at the end was a downer, but other than that, it was pretty decent. That'll teach me to make fun of funky Orca shapeshifting books. Bring on the gingerbread shapeshifter! I am sooooo ready for that one! Ha!
Ready for The Big Apple, and A Posse of Barking, Swaggering Weenie Dogs,
Penelope
February 10, 2011
Countdown to Valentine Weenie Dog Extravaganza
I am so excited for my trip to New York to see the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, I am practically hyperventilating. My daughter (8 years old and ready to rock-n-roll) and I are attending this sacred event at Madison Square Garden on Valentine's Day. Today I am getting ready by (1) looking for clothes w/ weenie dogs, and (2) looking for jewelry with weenie dogs. And, I guess I'll confirm train tickets and stuff like that, too.
For some inexplicable reason, the
I'm not sure if my daughter will be on board with this plan or not. If I promise her a new American Girl doll, she will probably join me.
Happy Day,
Penelope
February 9, 2011
Review of The Princess and The Penis by RJ Silver
The Princess and The Penis by RJ Silver
After reading about 14,952 romance novels, a few things become clear. No matter what the story is about--a duke, a werewolf, a football player, a Carpathian vampire, a steampunky swashbuckler, a baker, a lawyer, a candlestick maker, or even an Orca shapeshifter--the real star of the show is actually...the penis. Yes, this is in fact true. It gets tons of attention, pages and pages of highly detailed description, and often saves the day.
If you have one male hero and one female heroine, then the star is one penis. If you have a slasher novel (M/M), then you've got two. If you have a kinky erotica, there could be dozens, God help us. And if you have an alien or animal breed or whatever, you might find barbs or double-headed monsters, etc etc. The sky is really the limit. And by the end of the book, you've become intimately familiar with this star...its shape, size, texture, taste and performance ability.
Now imagine that you want to write a satire about romance. Why not eliminate the middle man and get right down to business? Just make the "hero" a penis. A big ole penis who romances a princess.
Well, hell...that is the most freakin' brilliant, clever, witty, and quirky premise for a story I've read in a very long time.
Not only has RJ Silver (who is a man, by the way) come up with a fabulous premise for this story, he has executed it perfectly. This book has everything...awesome cover art (look at her face! hee hee), snappy dialogue, a kind-hearted princess who loves to cuddle her new best bud just like her pet ferret, a flabbergasted king and queen who are stymied by their daughter's new "friend," an evil underendowed villain, great sidekicks (the aunties) for even more comedic relief, and finally, a true hero....a giant penis who has been bewitched, and only a kiss can set him free. (And yes, the princess gives the giant penis a kiss! Naughty, naughty girl!).
I'm not sure what RJ Silver has in mind for an encore, but I, for one, will be reading it.
Grade: A
Delighted with this wickedly delicious satire,
Penelope
P.S. Right now the story is available for free at Goodreads!
ETA: Here is the link to RJ's website...he is hilarious...check it out!
February 8, 2011
Teaser Tuesday
After a long, dry spell (six months--since my heart attack), I finally starting writing again. Yesterday I cranked out 1070 words on a new story....a "botanical" paranormal called L'Araldo di Primavera (The Herald of Spring).
Here's a quickie teaser...hope you like it!
Twenty years ago....
When Flora LaGuarda was five years old, she discovered an overgrown, weed-infested garden hidden behind her Papa's tool shed. A rusty gate creaked open as she approached, which she found quite welcoming and polite. Vines of bittersweet tugged at her anklets and milkweed pods exploded, showering her with silky fluff. She touched a thorny rose, and all at once the baby buds swelled, then burst, releasing a heady fragrance. Within seconds magenta blooms weighed heavily on the bush, the lush flower heads nodding in the sunshine. Flora turned to find Papa behind her, leaning thoughtfully on a rake. "Hmm," he said. "Hmm," she replied. He pulled off his faded Red Sox cap and scratched the small scrub of hairs on the top of his head. "Well, looks like you got a green thumb, Flora LaGuarda. Just like your Grandma." He slapped the hat across one thigh, dislodging a cloud of dust, then set it back on his head and nodded to her. "Time for lunch." Flora ran out of the garden, leaving a path of lush green growth in her wake. The gate banged shut behind her, and a clump of moss fell from the sign at the top. L'Araldo di Primavera it read.
February 7, 2011
Monday Morning Update: The Good, The Bad, & The &$*#@ Superbowl
Let's start with the good, shall we?
My son won first place in the 50 breast yesterday, and 2nd place in 50 butterfly.
I have been reading Nico Rosso's web series called Dead Drop on Tumblr. It's excellent. Here's the link to the first episode if you want to check it out. He posts a new chapter every day.
I'm heading to New York City this weekend to watch the weenie dogs at the Westminster Dog Show.
Now, the bad.
In spite of a nice selection of great reading materials on my Kindle (Zoë Archer's series, Taken to the Limit by Nico Rosso, and When Beauty Tamed the Beast by Eloisa James), I seem to have developed a penchant for train wrecks. As in, I-know-this-book-is-gonna-suck-trainwreck-bad-but-I'm-gonna-read-it-anyway. Why? I don't know. It must be the same reason I continue to read Us Weekly online even though there is some asinine story about the freakin' Kardashian sisters every day. It's a sickness.
Both are shapeshifter books...one about a werewolf who likes to pee around his cabin, the other about an Orca whale (God help me!!!!). The werewolf book (A Wicked Wolf by Brenda Williamson) I already read...the whole damned thing. I endured endless pages of mindless sex scenes, a piss-happy werewolf who keeps confusing his new ho with his dead wife, a ding-a-ling heroine who (a) doesn't notice the guy she is boinking is turning into a werewolf for 3 days!!!!!, and (b) forgets she has 2 siblings at home while consumed with lusty Lycan lovin. This gem is filled with purple prose ("He sucked at the creamy essence trickling from her quivering folds"), a ridiculous storyline involving a real estate transaction, and finally, the I-couldn't-see-that-one-coming dramatic revelation that the bad guy is....(wait for it)....a wolfy lawyer! Sigh. Here are my 2 favorite lines from the book....
"As much as he wanted to hump the fertile bitch, he wanted a devoted, nurturing mother for his offspring more."
....and this masterpiece.....
"For the first time in his life, he'd had his ass licked by someone he cared about."
Hee hee hee....oh Lordy!
FYI, plenty of folks loved this book at Goodreads, and at least one reader noted that the author has written better material. Read at your own risk. Although I wouldn't recommend it.
The Orca book (The Orca King by Darragha Foster) is on the TBR pile. Gulp. Do I dare to read an Orca shapeshifter book? That is the question for the week.....
And finally, the @#$%&* Superbowl.
Stillers! How could you???? You raised our hopes and smashed us into little bits in the final two minutes of the game. Sniff, sniff.
Okay, I'm over it.
Happy Monday, Happy Reading, Happy Writing, Happy Shapeshifters for All!
Penelope
February 6, 2011
Da Game
I'm from Da Burgh. Nuff said.
Go, Stillers!
Rock on,
Penelope
February 5, 2011
Penny's Roasted Beet Salad
Here is a delicious salad I made this week. My husband loves it! I am really into warm salads during the winter time. They are nice and cozy, and still very healthy.
Roasted Beet Salad on Greens
2 bunches of beets...can use 1 bunch red beets and 1 bunch golden beets, if desired
1/3 c. olive oil
2 T. sherry vinegar
1 t. coarse (whole seed) mustard
freshly ground pepper to taste
fresh greens (mache, mesclun, arugula, whatever you prefer)
fresh, good quality goat cheese
toasted hazelnuts, chopped
Preheat oven to 400. Rinse beets, then cut off greens and ends. Chop beets into halves or quarters (keep skin on). Put them in the middle of a large square of tin foil, then seal up the foil into a pouch (make sure it's tight, or beet juice will escape and make a big mess!). Put the pouch on a cookie tray, and roast for about 30 minutes, or until a fork slides easily into the beets. Open up foil pouch and let the beets cool for a bit. Using fingers or a fork/spoon, slide beet skins off (they should slide right off). Slice beets and put into bowl.
Make the dressing. Whisk together olive oil, vinegar and mustard. Add pepper. You may need to use more or less vinegar/mustard according to your taste buds. Sherry vinegar is strong, so be careful to add just a dash (a tablespoon or two) to the olive oil, and then see how it goes.
Add a bit of the dressing to the beet bowl and gently toss. For individual servings, put some greens on a plate, drizzle a bit of dressing on top. Then place some beets on the nest of greens, and top with fresh goat cheese and toasted hazelnuts.
Note: there is no salt in this recipe...you don't need it!
Enjoy!
Penelope
