Esther Earl's Blog, page 71

fandom—favorites:“Just be happy, and if you can’t be...

fandom—favorites:

“Just be happy, and if you can’t be happy, do things that make you happy. Or do nothing with the people that make you happy.”

― Esther Earl

""Most of the similarities (between Esther and Hazel) were small things like their oxygen tanks,"I..."

“"Most of the similarities (between Esther and Hazel) were small things like their oxygen tanks,"I see them as different people, but I think Esther would have liked Hazel”

- Wayne Earl  (via moochingwarwidows)

TSWGO kid Hanah and Intern Emily are dancing the night away at...

TSWGO kid Hanah and Intern Emily are dancing the night away at prom tonight

itisnaptime:Truck is a big fan. He’s all about the #Catitude....

itisnaptime:

Truck is a big fan. He’s all about the #Catitude. #tswgo #nerdfighter #catsofinstagram #thisstarwontgoout

Cats, catitude, and Esther—a perfect combination!

"To John Green, Esther’s friend and favorite author. Her star shines more brightly because you chose..."

“"To John Green, Esther’s friend and favorite author. Her star shines more brightly because you chose to champion her. Your generosity and compassion have made everything a little easier for our family. We can never thank you enough. You are as kind and brilliant as people think you are!"”

- the earl family (via moochingwarwidows)

myfaceisrawr:I got my order today!!!! :D I’ve been wanting...

myfaceisrawr:

I got my order today!!!! :D I’ve been wanting these for a long time, and I am so glad that I finally got them!! This is also my first order through DFTBA Records, but most definitely not my last!! :D

theclockistickingwrite:Another highlight of tonight: John talking about Esther Earl. I teared up a...

theclockistickingwrite:

Another highlight of tonight: John talking about Esther Earl. I teared up a little. John did too. People cheered for Esther. It was just genuinely awesome and bittersweet and wonderful. Rest in Awesome Esther.

Sounds amazing!

meetups:40+ awesome Nerdfighters joined us for an official...

meetups:

40+ awesome Nerdfighters joined us for an official meetup celebrating The Fault in Our Stars yesterday.

Prepared with only the time and location of the event, our friends had no idea that in addition to watching the TFIOS livestream with the cast and John Green, they would also be getting a sneak peak of the film a month before its release date.  Then, moments after creeping in on those cupcakes pictured above, John Green and Nat Wolff surprised us with a visit.

We want to thank our Tumblin’, Nerdfightin’ community for such a great event. We couldn’t have done it without you. “Literally.” Special thanks to Laura June Kirsch for capturing every amazing moment. 

I was there! You can kind of see me in the middle of the theater (making a weird face), sitting next to superstar Melissa Anelli. Had such a blast representing TSWGO on Sunday! - Celine, TSWGO Intern

penguinteenaus:We can finally admit, we’ve seen The Fault in...

penguinteenaus:

We can finally admit, we’ve seen The Fault in Our Stars movie! It was beautiful, moving, glorious and amazing! As expected though, we shed some serious tears. Be warned: hydrate, waterproof mascara and sunglasses are MUST haves for a dignified post cinema exit.

melissaanelli:Esther, Hazel, and TFiOS: Highly Biased and...

melissaanelli:

Esther, Hazel, and TFiOS: Highly Biased and Personal Thoughts After Viewing the Film

(This is a spoiler-free collection of thoughts about The Fault in Our Stars after seeing a screening of the film in NY.)

So, confession time: I’ve had a little ghost, a little knot, of discomfort in my heart about The Fault in Our Stars movie since I heard it was happening. See, once upon a time, my own little infinity of a life brushed against that of Esther Earl, the young woman whose real-life story inspired the fictional events of TFIOS. While you will hear over and over again through the press for this film that the fictional Hazel Grace Lancaster is not an avatar for the cheerful Esther, it is impossible for those of us who have been wrapped in the details to fully divorce the two people. Despite what any author or any actor says about the need to separate fact from fiction and how important it is that we don’t beatify the dead, anyone who knew Esther - even someone who knew her as briefly and in as frustratingly incomplete of a way as I did - is going to see her on the screen.

I knew it would happen, and it’s why those twinges have plagued me. It’s one thing to repeat to yourself, “Hazel is not Esther Hazel is not Esther,” and convince yourself you have made the distinction, but let’s be honest: it’s never going to fully banish the memories. Whether or not we beatify the dead we sure as heck don’t want to blemish them. And what if the movie did that? Is it ever okay to take that chance with someone’s memory? It’s one thing for a life to inspire a book, which can hold whatever insight an author manages to cram into it. But a movie? A movie that has to fit length and make sure it has only enough swear words to stay PG13, and star beautiful people? Movies have a track record of reducing our favorite, nuanced fictions to piles of story puree that can be easily digested, and I knew that as angry as I ever got about a shallow choice in Harry Potter would be nothing in comparison to how I would feel if Esther’s memory were the basis for such tarnish.

And thus I went in to the surprise screening of The Fault in Our Stars expecting to have to remind myself that Hazel is not Esther Hazel is not Esther in order to see it as it’s meant to be seen: to cart away my baggage and just watch a film. And let’s be clear, my baggage is not very large: I met Esther very briefly at LeakyCon 2009 the same night she met John Green; we shared some texts and one phone call before she left us. I have less right than any of her friends, and certainly any of her family, to be concerned about this. It’s Esther’s story — her impact on the attendees of the conference I run, on so many people I know, and on the HP Alliance — that has been my traveling companion on this journey. I’ve watched her impact on the world she left behind grow, and have marveled at its seemingly limitless trajectory. Now that a piece of her is about to be served to the moviegoing world — not known for celebrating nuance and realism — I found myself a bit scared, and very worried. 

Another, darker, emotion has plagued, too, as the yin-yang Hazel/Gus poster has become ubiquitous. Anger. Anger that Esther never actually got to be that starry-eyed girl; that she would never have a romantic trip to Amsterdam, or the chance to cozy herself under the chin of her true love. Why do movies get all the glory, I’d think as I stalked past a poster in the subway station. It’s not fair that she never got this, that this imagined part of her life has to exist only on pages and on screens. I can’t speak for anyone else but if it were in my power to take Hazel and Gus’s story from them and give it to Esther, I would do it in a heartbeat.

There’ve been a lot of jokes (some of them made by me) about how ready you should be to cry when you go and see this film. I won’t pretend that prophecy hasn’t borne out. I won’t share any spoilers, but you know it’s a film about teenagers with cancer. Your imagination shouldn’t be that far off the mark. 

However, I was pretty surprised to find that the “push-here-to-make-audience-cry” portions of the movie were not the parts that left me snot-nosed and sore-headed. As Shailene’s performance unfolded I gave up trying to stop comparing her to Esther, and it was there that was the key. Of course you are  going to see Esther in Hazel, I finally thought. Stop fighting it.

So, while still remembering that key mantra - Hazel is not Esther, Hazel is not Esther - I started imagining that this was a life that, just maybe, Esther could have lived. And in doing the thing I swore to try not to do, I found a new appreciation for the fiction and the life behind it.

I’m not the person who can tell you if this is a good movie or not. I’m not the person who can tell you if the acting holds up or does justice or what. I’m not the person who can compare this to other films, or tell you how it looks outside the bubble of Nerdfighteria and LeakyCon and This Star Won’t Go Out and the HP Alliance, and all the other people and things that have circled this frail girl’s phenomenal life story. But I can tell you what it was like inside that bubble, and inside that bubble I found myself surprisingly happy.

Happy to imagine Esther dining under twinkling lights in Amsterdam; happy to imagine that it’s possible for ill teenagers to achieve this level of eloquence; happy to imagine that small girl who affected us so powerfully engaging in so much happiness of her own. Even happy to imagine her heart being broken, for, as bearers of broken hearts everywhere will tell you, the breaking is typically worth it. I found myself happy that there exists such a vivid imagination of the life she didn’t get to live.
 
After the book was released, there was a lot of discussion about infinities, and whether Hazel was right that some infinities are larger than others. To be honest I never paid much attention to the literal answer to that question. The book is not overly concerned with whether there are actually more numbers between zero and two than zero and one: the book is about emotional infinities. The meshy fabric of time that wraps around a love story is, emotionally speaking, much larger than one that contains just breakfast, or a school day. Yet, I considered for the first time while watching this film that infinities are actually able to grow.

No life is a closed circuit, and it’s already obvious that Esther Earl’s was anything but. It seems to me, however, that the story that Esther was able to inspire is having the unexpected side effect of growing her infinity. No matter what fate holds for the film on its own standing, it has linked to Esther’s life that which cancer denied: the fairy tale she (and every good person) deserves.

As second-bests go, it’s not so bad.

Love this review, thanks Melissa for your thoughts on the Esther/Hazel relationship and connection.