Jen Cudmore's Blog, page 33

When it’s Time to Walk Away from a Friend

Sometimes we have to leave behind things that aren’t good for us. And sometimes what’s not good for us is a person we thought was a friend.

For many years I believed that letting go of friendship was wrong. I didn’t want the other person to feel abandoned and I definitely didn’t want anyone saying mean things about me, which would surely happen if I walked away. I mean, what kind of person turns their back on another – isn’t that just plain rude? Yet as I’ve gotten older, I realize that sometimes space is necessary. There is a difference between distancing yourself and suddenly going MIA.

This concept was first introduced to me by Pastor Gary Wilderbuer when I was in college. He explained to me that a person very close to him turned away from his faith and became very hateful. Gary began to limit contact with this man and for years barely spoke to him. I’m not sure if this relationship was ever restored, but sometimes restoration is not possible.

Successful leaders will tell you that they had to leave behind some negative people in order to flourish. Even the Bible tells us that sometimes people’s hearts are so hard that we have to give them space (1 Corinthians 5). We can’t make people change. We can’t force them to become less selfish – they have to decide for themselves. So when a person’s actions are all about themselves, it may be time to let them go.

We must do this in a loving way, never complaining about the other person or calling them names. We simply have less and less contact, and let God work out the rest. When we do spend time with them, we must still be loving.

Recently God showed me a person in my life who is not good for me and my family. I’m struggling, because for me, letting go is very difficult. I hate to see my friends making mistakes, acting selfishly and hurting others for the sake of themselves. I want to help them, but most of the time these types of people don’t help. While it hurts to see someone we care about making mistakes, we have to let them go their way.

From my limited experience, when you put your time and effort into relationships that really matter, it always turns out fine in the end.

Why all Women are Captivating

Have you ever felt unseen, unsought, or uncertain?

I’ve felt all three and it’s quite unpleasant. Unfortunately at a young age I told myself I wasn’t likable person so I had to strive to excel in all I did so others would appreciate me. I believed this lie for many years until I came across a fantastic book called Captivating.

John Eldridge, author of Wild at Heart co-wrote this book with his wife Stasi. Right away I was captivated. They explained the heart of a woman in a way I’d never heard before. They discussed why women often feel unseen, unsought, and uncertain, and that the world tells us to just try harder.

And yet women are made in God’s image. He put a longing in our hearts to be romanced, to play an important role, to unveil beauty. God’s plan was for women to partner with men to create a complete picture of unity so they each can flourish in life.  What we have to offer the world is uniquely feminine. Life was meant to be lived with others, and God’s purpose for women is to protect relationships.

God made women to convey beauty; it is our essence, given to us from birth. I was especially impressed with the section where the authors explain exactly why beauty matters. Beauty speaks, invites, nourishes, comforts, inspires and draws us to our Creator. We’ve all been wounded, and we need to go to God for healing, for only He can restore us and bring out our full potential.

This is a message the world and the church really need to hear. So many women doubt their worth, doubt God has a purpose for them. Understanding His plan and asking Him to heal our hearts makes us better wives and moms. This book will unveil the mystery of your soul and show you just how captivating you really are.

“The story of every woman’s life is the story of the long and passionate pursuit of her heart by God. He comes as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart so you can live as a woman fully alive and fully captivating.”

 

 

©Jen Cudmore, 2013 ___  Subscribe to my blog or my email newsletter on the right side of the page!

 

 

 

Why Use the Five Senses in Your Writing?

When you write a story, you want the reader to understand your characters, to feel what they feel. The five senses can draw the reader into the story and make it become more real. People identify with the senses based off their own experiences, so adding this element to a story is a great way to keep them interested and connected.

In my opinion, it’s easier said than done. Everyone knows what spaghetti tastes like. Why can’t I just say ‘the spaghetti was delicious’ and call that good? I certainly would rather do it this way. But I will grudgingly admit that’s just me being lazy because I don’t want to sit around dissecting the taste, texture and smell of spaghetti. And yet if I do, it will make this part of the story more satisfying for the reader.

Don’t just rely on adjectives – they’re boring. Use strong nouns and verbs when you’re describing something. And remember to show, not tell.

The five senses:

1) Sight – I think this is the easiest one. Pick a color, size, shape, texture. Then weave them together in an interesting sentence. Reference another object that’s similar, or use a contrast to a completely different object.

2) Sound – There aren’t many choices for describing a sound: low, high, loud, soft, etc. What makes the scene better is to compare the sound in your story to something your character (and your reader) has heard before.

3) Smell – This one gets a little trickier, in my opinion, because adjectives aren’t always enough. A comparison works good here as well. Sometimes you can simply say what the smell is, and other times you need to describe it.

4) Taste – If there was one sense I could get rid of, it would be this one! I have no idea what anything tastes like. My adjective list is comprised of sweet, salty, sour, and burnt. Of all the senses, this one is hardest for me to figure out, so if you have any tips, I would love to hear them!

5) Touch – I like this one because it’s the most romantic. (Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of a stretch.) Use adjectives or comparisons; they both work well.

So how do you come up with different ways to express the five senses? Many professionals encourage going out and experiencing the world. For me, because I’m not particularly good at it, I have to put a lot of thought into each scene to decide where to put them and how to make them unique. But practice makes better, and I’m determined to get better at adding sensory appeal into my stories.

As far as how much sensory appeal is right, it’ll depend on your story. I’m not quite sure how to advise you other than to say use adjectives sparingly, and when you use them, don’t pick the boring ones like ‘tall’ or ‘short’.

I’d love some feedback on your experience with the five senses and how much to put into a novel. What do you think?

What’s Essential in a True Friendship?

Recently God brought to my attention some areas that needed to be corrected. I realized I’d made some judgments against some people who didn’t meet my expectations and had to repent. While accepting God’s correction can be a bit uncomfortable, what I appreciate the most is that I have loyal friends who keep focused on the narrow road.

I don’t know where I’d be without my best friend Christy. Over the years we’ve delved deeper into our relationship with the Lord and as iron sharpens iron, made each other better moms, wives, and Christians.

We’re totally honest with each other about the junk in our lives. We know more about each others’ husbands and kids than we’ve told anyone else (and it stays between us). We’ve cried and prayed together over our husbands’ and kids’ struggles. We scold each other when we get off track. We give each other scriptures and sermon podcasts that encourage us in the areas where we are struggling. When we promise to pray for each other, we really do it; not just a passing ‘Lord, watch over my friend’, but real heartfelt, specific petitions.

The book of 1 Samuel states that Jonathan and David were linked at the soul. In a couple places the Bible speaks of their great love for each other. I heard a fantastic sermon once outlining the unique friendship between these two men, a commitment centered around God. In chapter 23 of 1 Samuel, Jonathan helped David “find strength in the Lord” and told him “Don’t be afraid” because God is bigger than his circumstances.They made a covenant before the Lord to watch over each others’ families.

Every Christian must have godly friendships like that of David and Jonathan. It may be a little scary at first, opening up to someone about all the junk in your life that God wants to clean up, but if you wish to strengthen your faith, it’s essential. Friends keeps you accountable in your growth. The Holy Spirit can speak to you through your friends. This has happened to me multiple times by several different friends.

You must develop a support system of people who won’t allow you to stay lukewarm. I’m not talking about those friends who are always at church every time it opens, or those who give you platitudes when life is tough and take your side on every issue. I’m talking a deep commitment to digging into the tough issues and supporting each other in spiritual growth. Fortunately, God has given me a few friends like this, and I’m so grateful.

 What do you believe is essential in friendship?

Breaking the Rules – With Vikings

Sometimes we have to break the rules.

When I first started writing I had no idea there were so many expectations for Christian novels. I found that most publishers had a list of requirements. For example, I was told if I wanted to label my story as a ‘romance’, the protagonist had to be a female, the story had to open with a female in the first scene, and there must be a wedding in the end. These rules confused me because I’d read plenty of inspirational novels that didn’t fit that model.

While I understand that publishers need a way to limit the slush pile, I wonder if requirements such as those are really necessary. To me, they seem a bit old fashioned. Are publishers, even Christian companies, passing over stories that people actually want to read? I say ‘yes!’

But if an author breaks the rules, what are the chances the novel will be considered?

Two years ago I wrote a Viking novel. My agent pitched the book to several Christian companies but none were interested. The problem seemed to be that such content wasn’t marketable – the Christian audience doesn’t want to read about Vikings. I wasn’t so sure this was true.

I was surprised a couple weeks ago when I stumbled upon the release of a Christian Viking novel! God’s Daughter is a fictional story based on the history in the Iceland Sagas and a woman named Gudrid, who was the ward of Eirik the Red and the first documented European woman to birth a child in America. I discovered the author, Heather Day Gilbert, had also approached multiple Christian publishers and although they thought the story well-written, they turned her away because they didn’t believe there was a market for the story. So she chose to self-publish, and so far she’s had an overwhelming positive response from readers. For more about her novel, click here.

Sometimes it’s okay to break the rules because some of them need to be revamped. I believe we’re seeing a shift in Christian publishing to more edgy content that deals with more real life issues, such as emotional infidelity like Heather tackles in her story. To convince publishers to offer such stories, we readers must show them what we want. I hope you’ll join me in supporting Heather and her new book. I just finished the story and found it very inspiring, as well as entertaining and well-written.

And next year, God willing, my own Viking story will be released, the first in a 4 part series (although I am toying with adding 3 more books to make a total of 7). Can’t wait!

Review by Nate: Whispers From Forbidden Earth

Title and Author: Whispers From Forbidden Earth by Mark Venturini

Short Summary: Strum, an elf from Eversong, has been hearing things. Who? What? He doesn’t know the person whispering to him but he can tell the boy is in trouble. Strum is quickly thrown head first (literally) into a world with magic lanterns and metal carriages, a place called ‘Shi-ca-go’ to save a life.

What I liked about the story: I liked that the hero had no special powers he knew of other than a healing salve for the human boy he has to save.

What I liked about the writing: I liked that I had no idea where the story would go. It kept me on my toes.

Goodreads summary:  When the young elf Strum first heard the whispers, some on Eversong called it a gift. After all, he is the first of the Iunctus Unus (United Ones) born in centuries. But the whispers are from a bizarre land called Chicago where twelve-year-old Jason Snider lies comatose in a hospital after a terrible accident, an accident that binds the two lives together. If Jason dies, Strum dies. Forcing open the long-locked portal throws Strum and a pintsize baby dragon into the terrifying world of Chicago. Worse, Her Royal Pain torches the hospital lobby and escapes before Strum can revive Jason. Strum must find the lost dragon and heal Jason before he can hope to return home. He teams up with a street-smart girl who has her own painful ties to Jason, and the battle is on. For not only is all Chicago chasing them, so are evil mages banished to Earth centuries before. Strum is their chance to return and conquer Eversong. He must stop them, even if it means forfeiting his chance to go home–or worse, his life.

Review by Nate, 13 years old

For more book reviews for kids, click here.

Guest Post: Amber Schamel

As an author, I love a good plot twist. Actually, as a reader, I like a good plot twist too! Like in Star Wars when Darth Vader is revealed to be Luke & Leah’s father. Or in UP when the heroic adventurer, Charles Muntz, is actually out to capture the beloved bird and willing to kill Mr. Fredrickson and Russell. Or the part in Ben-Hur where his best friend sends him to die on a ship as a slave rower. AH!

A plot twist is the part of a story when something unexpected, usually terrible, happens to the hero. Something that completely thwarts their plan, changing their path forever.

Let’s face it, plot twists are not very much fun when you’re the hero (or heroine) in the story. When your plans are completely ruined, when everything is going wrong, when the worst thing happens and then gets worse-r (which is worse-r than worst). We spend our lives praying that the Lord will spare us from such plot twists, but without a struggle, without a twist, there’s no story.

What story and ministry would Joni Eareckson Tada have if she never dove into that lake, hit her head and became paralyzed for life? What impact would Helen Keller have if she hadn’t been made deaf and blind? The apostle Paul had many plot twists in his life. In fact, he lists most of them in II Cor. 11. That’s why he was able to say:

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

Even our Lord Jesus Christ was sent to earth for the greatest plot twist of all time when His close friend betrayed Him and He was crucified for us. So next time you experience a plot twist, remember that it is the struggle that makes a good story, they are what make you who you are, and you are not alone.

Have you ever experienced a plot twist? What are your favorite fictional plot twists?

Amber Schamel was born in Littleton, CO and has traveled extensively throughout the United States, Europe, and the Holy Land. She was raised in a family of 11 children, homeschooled through her education and currently works with their 10 family businesses as bookkeeper and marketing director. She volunteers half of the summer helping and ministering to young girls and Christian families. Amber loves history, culture, reading and music. She has a musical ministry and travels throughout the United States ministering thru song. During her spare time she enjoys crafting Christ-honoring stories that will inspire and encourage her readers. Amber currently lives with her family outside of Colorado Springs, CO.

The Healer’s Touch – Volume One

Short Blurb

Aaliyah’s last chance at winning her husband’s love is destroyed when she is banished from her home as an ‘unclean’ sinner, exiled to the leper colony. When a chance at being cured comes in the form of a rumor, she must risk her life to appear in public, or die a leper.

 

Review by Miki: The Sword, the Ring, and the Parchment

Title and Author: The Sword, the Ring, and the Parchment by Ed Dunlop

Short Summary: Josiah, an ordinary kid, was saved and adopted into the royal family. See if you can find out who represents who in God’s rescue plan. Josiah needs to learn to listen and follow the Bible and King Emmanuel. Read on and discover how a boy became a prince and faces obstacles. Sir Faithful, his friend, helps him.

What I liked about the story: I could not put it down except when my mom made me. I like how the story takes place in Medieval times. I love how the characters each represent someone in God’s rescue plan.

What I liked about the writing: I like how the author uses descriptive writing. He explains the setting and people really well.

Review by Miki, age 11

Amazon summary: The first book in the Terrestria Chronices young adult allegory series. Travel back in time to the kingdom of Terrestria, a land where knights and their ladies live in castles and where dragons still roam (occasionally). This is not Narnia; this is not Lord of the Rings. The Terrestria Chronicles were written to honor Christ and be as true to Scripture as possible. Some readers have compared the Terrestria books to The Pilgrim’s Progress, though this series is much more readable, relevant, and action-packed than Bunyan’s classic work. Written for ages ten and up, the Terrestria series is ideal for family devotions, classroom use, or individual enjoyment. Young Josiah lives in the kingdom of Terrestria, the realm of good King Emmanuel. Yet the land is at war. Evil, cruel Argamor wants the throne. And he has loyal followers placed strategically throughout the kingdom. Who will win the battle for Terrestria, and on which side will Josiah find himself? Alive with fast-paced action in a medieval setting, Book 1 of the Terrestria allegory series encourages the reader to live as a child of the King.

Anything is Possible – With Dove Chocolate

I pulled in to the parking lot of Clark Middle School Saturday morning, music from Committed blaring on my radio reminding me “Be strong, be brave, be beautiful” because “Anything is possible”. And that’s what I told the students – there is no limit to the possibilities of what they can accomplish if they have courage and are willing to work hard.

Encouraging kids to love reading and writing has become a passion for me. I was shocked to realize how many students just aren’t interested in books. We read a lot in my home, but I see that my children are the exception compared to other families. Having the opportunity to work with students in the schools is very exciting. Reading is good stimulation for the brain, but writing is even better!

In my class at the Anchorage School District Generation U Writers Conference, we discussed five tips for reaching their dream of becoming a published author. They learned how to understand themselves as individuals, define their dreams and goals with specifics, write down a strategy for how to reach the dream, prioritize their time, and stay motivated.

We briefly talked about Joni Earickson Tada and Bethany Hamilton, who both had physical limitations and still managed to achieve their dreams (and write books). We also touched on the life of Phil Vischer and how he lived his dream for a decade only to lose his company during a lawsuit – a reminder not to let our dreams and goals consume us.

My friend Evan Swensen, owner of Publication Consultants, mentioned to me how impressed he was with the young people who attended. Evan, who has taught at many more conferences than I, stated the level of respect from the students was much higher than he’d seen elsewhere. I had to agree, even in my limited teaching experience. Most of the students seemed quite interested and stayed focused during each session.

I don’t know – maybe it’s because I was passing out Dove chocolates.

©Jen Cudmore, 2013 ___  Subscribe to my blog or my email newsletter on the right side of the page!

How the Book Publishing Industry is Changing

The publishing world is changing. I‘d heard bits and pieces of information over the years but never truly understood the issues until recently. Jerry Simmons, our keynote speaker for the 2012 Alaska Writers Conference, explained the changes in detail. With 30 years experience in the book business, he had some great incite.

For decades large publishers controlled the scene. They use their strong media connections and discounts/incentives to draw in readers. But they have been slow to embrace the new variables in the market.

Here are some of the changes Jerry outlined at the conference and in his book, What Writers Need to Know About Publishing.

 Production and distribution costs are higher than ever, which isn’t surprising with the current economy.


Bookstores are shrinking their shelf space and becoming more picky on what they choose to sell. Independent stores are closing. Therefore, it’s harder than ever to get books into stores.


Very few authors can live off their creativity. Royalties are slowly going down, and yet advancements and payouts to a few famous authors are higher than ever. The distribution of royalties is unbalanced and therefore, unproductive.


While the 6 major publishers used to dominate, many small publishers are now available, and quite successful. Authors have more options and don’t have to rely on the major houses anymore.


Decades ago, signing with a publisher meant they’d take care of the author and very little marketing effort was needed. Now, even the major houses spend very little time and money on promotion – the author is expected to do most of the work.


Ebooks are becoming more popular and successful. The return investment is better because distribution is unlimited, royalties are higher, word count is meaningless, and initial costs are much lower.


Self-publishing is becoming more popular and successful. Since authors do most of the marketing anyway, their approach is more personal because the author goes deeper with the readers.

Do you know of any other trends that contribute to the change?

©Jen Cudmore, 2013 ___  Subscribe to my blog or my email newsletter on the right side of the page!