Janet Van Gorden's Blog

My Dogs Hate Winter

Winter in any part of the northern states has its ups and downs. While frigid winds, snow, and ice prevail, Mother Nature grants us an occasional ‘mild’ day or two. But whatever she throws at us, there is no arguing that she is stingy with the sunshine.

In the dead of January and February when the gloomy gray and white seems endless, it feels as though we will never see the sun again. The early dark nights, while fun for an occasional movie or board game, begins to wear thin. The dreaded winter blues creep in and we’re left longing for those late evening sunsets complete with crickets and fireflies.

As I sit here watching the plow outside my window repeatedly passing back and forth, pushing away the night’s snow and ice, I know that I’m not the only one wishing for warmer weather. My pugs hate the winter. I’m surprised they even bother to go to the door knowing what awaits them. I dread when they do, because I am fully aware of what awaits me. Bundling up so I can stand outside, freezing, begging them to them to do what they need to do. And quick!

I know this makes me sound like a winter humbug. I don’t mean to, really. In fact, on the positive side I have found something enjoyable about winter…counting down the days until it’s over!

Only 33 days until Spring, green grass, and happy pugs!

Until then, I’ll just enjoy my coffee while I watch winter go by outside the window.

Snow Much Inspiration

It seems that no matter where you live across the country, you have been affected at some point by Old Man Winter. The bone-chilling cold and continuous parade of storms marching relentlessly from coast to coast have spread snow, ice, and travel chaos in their wake.  Daily life has become a struggle of “us” versus “nature.”

But in all this misery a silver lining can be found.  Long, cold, dark nights are perfect for cuddling by the fireside with a glass of wine and the one you love.  A friend of mine boldly predicted a baby boom at the end of this brutal winter.

“What else is there to do?” she joked.

Being stuck indoors can also be a fun time to connect with your children. Play time, snuggling, and movies with popcorn and hot chocolate creates wonderful family memories.

If that isn’t for you, why not take advantage of the idle hours and do some “pre” spring cleaning, decluttering, or self-organizing.

For those who would rather do something creative, hobbies are always a fun way to ward off cabin fever.

As for me, my personal recommendation for enjoying these gray, endless winter days, is stay inside with a cozy blanket, a box of chocolates, a cup of coffee, and a good book.

How do you love to spend your winter days?

Chasing Butterflies

Wow, I have been off the blogging grid for quite some time.  It’s been several months since I have written a blog post, consistently posted on social media, or wrote a newsletter.  I feel as though I have fallen off the face of the planet.

Life in my house has been a whirlwind since May.  The school year came to an end, and summer began, our vacation was cut short by the sudden loss of a family member, and sprinkled in were college visits for my son who will be a High School senior this year.  Some days my head felt like it might explode.  My emotions were up and down like a rollercoaster.  Add to that the now exhausting early mornings of the kids’ football, field hockey, and golf summer conditioning practices my husband and I have been tag teaming.

Whatever happened to the lazy, sleep in late days of summer?

But that’s life for all of us.  Sometimes it’s a struggle to fit in everything we want to do in a day.  Like, for me, writing.  But my problem isn’t finding the time to write; it’s finding the focus I seem to have lost.  Despite my full days, I have managed to continue writing.  In fact, I’ve written a lot, but I’ve been so distracted, that my ideas have somehow been sucked into the disarray of my head.  I’ve started dozens of stories, threw a few false starts away, kept a few, and wrote some more.  I’ve started, stopped, jumped back and forth between stories, (and genres), and never managed to finish anything.

I have book plots scribbled on scraps of paper scattered across the end of my kitchen table where I sit, and more random thoughts collected on my computer.  My creativity is not lacking, but my follow through is atrocious.  I can’t seem to focus.  I want to finish something, but it feels impossible to get it done.

It’s like chasing butterflies.

I sat down one morning with my cup of coffee and wondered what was keeping me from reaching ‘The End.’  If I completed all of the ideas I’ve started since April, I’d have a dozen books or more.  Somewhere though, in the chaos of being Mom, wife, and housekeeper, I lost my “why.”  I’ve forgotten why I’m writing, why I started, and where I want to go.

We all need a direction and focus for our pursuits and passions.

I admit that I am an avid fan of the Hallmark Movies and Mystery channel.  I love all their sappy romances and mystery series.  My goal has always been to write a love story or cozy mystery novel that would make it onto Hallmark’s big screen.  As if divine intervention read my mind, I recently came across a link on Facebook that Hallmark is looking for book submissions.  Just the inspiration I need!  It’s the focus that will hopefully get me back on my path to finishing all those started ideas, and maybe submit them for consideration.  The thought is motivating!

It’s time to stop chasing butterflies.  I am going to buckle down and push through until I can type…

The End!

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Hello Spring!

When the doldrums of winter are in full swing, we look forward to flipping the pages of the calendar. We jump from January to February, and then, just as March makes us feel as if it will never end, we tear away another page, and April appears.

 

The days begin to get a touch warmer and the evenings a bit longer.  The birds begin to serenade us, and the air smells fresh, with the promise of spending more time outdoors.

The arrival of spring, for me, conjures up days as a kid when I lounged on the front porch of my childhood home curled up with a book, or a dozen, while I rocked away the hours so glad to be out of the confining walls of the house. The days were carefree and thrilling after months of parent-imposed winter coats and snow boots.

Over the years, my intolerance for the cold and snow has slowly grown.  I start out excited for “sweater” weather in October, and the first snowfall in time for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  But after that, the gray days are frigid, the snow seems endless, and somewhere around the end of January I become downright cranky.  I dislike the cold and struggling to walk through the ice-crusted tundra.  I miss the luxury of green grass.

The sight of April on our calendar page means Spring is knocking on our doorstep.  Cherry blossoms are making an appearance and birds are beginning to return.  Color is invading the stores in an explosion of pastel clothing, plastic eggs and baskets of flowers.  Fun is blooming in aisle after aisle, filled with gardening items, picnic supplies, bathing suits, yard games, and even pool toys.

So, with much excitement, I say goodbye to the long, cold winter and hello to the warm weather ahead. To celebrate, like I did as a kid, I will ditch my coat, take my book out to the front porch, and for a little while, let the world pass me by.

Happy Spring everyone!

True Love Is In The Little Things

Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love, complete with chocolate, dinner, flowers, jewelry, and *ahem*, lingerie.  But true love can and should be, celebrated with the little things.  The small, unintentional gestures that say I love you with more meaning than the usually planned gifts.

Romance is sometimes as simple as knowing what your sweetheart needs.

I always write, sitting at the end of my kitchen table.  It’s been my spot for the last four years.  But on the occasions when I have to move, I have another writing area in the basement.  A cute corner “office.”

My husband works from home and also has his office downstairs.  Our basement is comfortable.  It’s cozy to work in on cold winter days, and it’s fun when I sit down there, and my husband cracks jokes, making me laugh all day when I should be writing.

Unfortunately, that space also contains the kid’s video gaming area.  (Cue the impending “doom” music…)

I love my kids.  They are awesome.  Truly.  But they can be hard on things.  My son leaned back a little too hard while playing a random war game and, that was that, he snapped the back right off my chair.

Without an office chair, I couldn’t sit at my desk and share my space with my co-office mate.

I think my husband missed me.

A few nights ago, he offered to run out to the store for some odds and ends for dinner.  When he came home dragging in the grocery bags, he told me he had a surprise.  This little beauty sat on the kitchen table.

I know, I know, it’s ONLY a chair.  But it’s not about the simple object, which I do love by the way!  It’s about my husband going out of his way to do something sweet.  He thought of me, and that means everything.

My husband missed my company!

Now we can sit together and goof off, again.  That’s true love.

Take a moment out of your day to enjoy the little things your significant other does for you.  Remember love is in the everyday details.

Talk to you soon.

Keep reading!

Opposites Attract

It’s true that opposites attract.  At least in the case of my husband and me.  He likes loud music when he works or writes; I like it quiet.  He likes rock; I like soft contemporary or as the kids call it, “old people music.”  My husband loves politically incorrect humor in his movies and stories, with hardcore language, and violence, and I watch the Hallmark Channel.  He’s social, and I’m an introvert.

Despite all our differences, we get along fabulously.  It is rare that we argue and we finish each other’s thoughts often.  And we should.  We started dating when we were 15.  We turn 45 this year.  I am cringing as I write this because of my realization, not only of our age but that we’ve been together for 30 years!  As crazy as it seems I wouldn’t change a moment of those three decades or the decades to come.

I think in the case of all great love stories, you need some opposition between you and your significant other.  It makes life interesting.

Thinking about one of my husband’s favorite movies, Rocky,  the great fighter says about his love Adrian, (I’m paraphrasing, but should be close considering how many times he watched this movie!) …“We fill gaps.  She’s got gaps; I got gaps.  We fill each other’s gaps.”

Here’s to celebrating the gaps our opposite fills and the love they bring to our lives.

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day!

Talk to you soon, and keep reading!

Photo credit: KWDesigns via Visualhunt / CC BY-ND

Pretty or Practical: The “Real” Woman Dilemma

 

Lately, I’ve seen a surge in commercials for the online lingerie company Adore Me.  From petite to plus you can get lingerie sets for $50 a month, sent right to your door.  The one thing I noticed immediately about these commercials — the women advertising the intimate apparel all appear to be in their twenties.

The perfect age for worrying about lacy, frilly undergarments, because you can.

I had a great conversation with my husband, of all people, about this topic.

Of course, women love to feel feminine and pampered, but most of us are moms who work long hours, have a home to take care of, and a budget that puts kid’s needs first.  We don’t, unfortunately, have much time to worry about what is under our clothes, or have a lot of free cash to spend on something frivolous.

The discussion turned into a debate about pretty vs. practical, and what “real” women require; comfortable and affordable.

That same afternoon, funny enough, in the New York Time’s style section was an ad for the company Thirdlove, with the caption, “We design beautiful and comfortable bras and underwear – because real women wake up in the morning and put on a bra, not lingerie.”  How apropos.

Somehow, for most of us, when our twenty-something years are in the rearview mirror and family becomes a reality, we temporarily trade that “feminine” part of ourselves for the mandatory practical and productive role of being a “real” woman.

But what does that mean?

While it is important and necessary for us to juggle our roles as a mom, wife, co-worker, and domestic diva, it’s also equally important to every once in a while, be ourselves; to be a “real,” real woman.  One who takes some time out to reconnect with the parts of our self that we sacrifice.

As strong, intelligent, multi-tasking beings constantly caring for everyone around us, we seem to forget that we, too, need attention. Sometimes we want to face the demands of life feeling beautiful.  If that means, on occasion, splurging and indulging in something that makes us feel special, why not?

We deserve it.

So, if you tend to be practical, you should treat yourself.  Put on some lace and enjoy the best, beautiful version of you.  And with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, maybe you can trade in the mundane tasks of daily life for just a bit, and surprise your loved one with a little romance, too.

Photo via Visualhunt.com

 

Saturday Detention and Totally Rad Slang

Sometimes a single word can prompt an entire story, create a conversation, or inspire a blog post. These words often arise from the most unexpected situations. This blog post is a perfect example.

The other day, I used the word gnarly.

Gnarly? Does anyone use that word anymore? I laughed at my real 1980’s “Valley Girl” moment.

Then came my “ah, the 80’s. Good times,” moment.

If you are old enough to remember the 1980’s, you probably love all the iconic movies (Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Sixteen Candles) and still appreciate the “totally rad” vocabulary.

According to the site Coolest Words, these are the top 15 slang terms from that decade.

How many of these do you remember?

1. Gnarly

2. Dude/Dudette

3. Like totally

4. Tubular

5. What’s your damage?

6. Choice

7. Burn/Burned

8. Grody

9. Rad

10. Bogus

11. Gag me with a spoon

12. Wiggin’/Wiggin’ out

13. To the max

14. Eat my shorts

15. Fresh

#11 brings back a lot of memories for me.

For those of you who appreciate the 80’s, what was your favorite catch phrase?

Fun Flashback

Sometimes a single word can prompt an entire story, create a conversation, or inspire a blog post.  These words often arise from the most unexpected situations.  This blog post is a perfect example.

The other day, I used the word gnarly.

Gnarly?  Does anyone use that word anymore?  I laughed at my real 1980’s “Valley Girl” moment.

Then came my “ah, the 1980’s.  Good times,” moment.

If you are old enough to remember the 1980’s, you probably love the iconic movies and still appreciate the “totally rad” vocabulary.

Because I couldn’t help myself, here is a list of the top slang terms used ‘back then.’

How many of these words do you remember?

Gnarly
Dude/Dudette
Like totally
Tubular
Grody
Rad
Bogus
Eat my shorts

and my personal favorite

Gag me with a spoon

Click here for a full list of the terms, complete with definitions.  Enjoy.

Talk to you soon, and remember, keep reading!

Winter Blues

 

Winter in any part of the northern states has its ups and downs.  It ranges from cold, snowy and icy to sometimes mild for short stretches of time.  Either way, whatever Mother Nature gives us, winter can be fun if you look at with the right perspective.

For the outdoor lovers, brave enough to embrace the cold, there is skiing, ice fishing, snowshoeing, tubing, snowmobiling, and even winter campfires.

For those more inclined to stay inside, (I raise my hand for this one), winter is ideal for snuggling up with your loved one by the fireside, soft blankets, reading, lots of coffee, writing (for us authors), and movies.

Winter provides a vast amount of choices for us to enjoy.  Except one.  Sunshine.

In the dead of January and February when the gloomy gray and white seems endless, it feels as though we will never see the sun again.  When we begin to miss the lack of warm, yellowy light, the dreaded winter blues creep in.  The early dark nights, while fun for a movie, or a board game with the kids, begin to wear thin and leaves us wishing for those long, late evening sunsets complete with crickets and fireflies.

As I sit here and watch the plow outside my window, repeatedly passing back and forth pushing away the night’s snow and ice, I remind myself that the kids will go out and enjoy it, even if the sun isn’t shining.  But after being socked in with thick fog and dark gloom for more than a week, wouldn’t it be nice to see good ole’ Mr. Sun, again?

Whether it’s dismal or bright wherever you are, make the most of Winter, and try not to get weighed down with the winter blues.  Remember, summer will be here before we know it.