M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 7

Who I Am Today Is Not Who I Was Yesterday

I’ll be someone else tomorrow.Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Driving with friends to a fencing practice more than three hours away, as we talked about the usual people and things in our lives, certain thoughts arose. Things that used to bother me, upset me, or otherwise set me off just don’t anymore.

This is not a bad thing, because who I am today is not who I was yesterday. Giving this consideration and thinking about all the work I’ve done to become the person I am today, I’d like to take a moment to reflect and share some insights.

Setting my childhood aside, when I entered college, I had no direction. I even joked with my father, at orientation, that I would “major in procrastination and hesitation with a minor in bureaucratic red tape.” But it wasn’t long before I decided what to major in. I graduated 4 years later with a degree in theatre (a BA in drama focused on directing and sound design).

Like all college graduates, I had to decide to join the workforce, go on some kind of walkabout, or go to grad school. I joined the workforce. But again, like starting college, I had no direction.

For the next few years, I bounced between administrative and tech support jobs. Then, I got hit by a car crossing a street and spent a year recovering. It was this incident that began to shift my perspective on life, as I faced applying conscious reality creation to help me heal.

Broken but not defeated

Before I got hit by the car, my on-again/off-again girlfriend of that time had started exposing me to what she called the “hooky-spooky”. This involved working with energy healing, Reiki, and other new-agey ideas. It spoke to me in ways that no other form of spirituality spoke to me.

Hence, lying in a hospital with some very broken bones and nerve damage, I saw the choice in front of me. Curl up in a ball, lament my hurt, and literally or metaphorically wait for death. OR, let life live me, accept that I was broken with a prognosis for probably less-than-total recovery. OR, push back, put the energy into healing, and accept nothing less than that.

A year after the accident, I made a near-total recovery. Now, more than 25 years later, unless I show you the scars or tell you this story, you’d have no idea how broken I was.

This was an incredible example of who I am today is not who I was yesterday. Literally. The lessons of that experience were incredible and opened me to a lot of new potential and possibilities. But not for another 10 years.

Who I am today, I’ll be someone else tomorrow

Soon after my recovery, I returned to my previous lack of direction. For the next decade-plus, I again bounced from administrative to tech support to retail to marketing to administrative to marketing job. Between the ages of 27 and 40, I held 7 or 8 different jobs.

Despite the lessons about how you can choose to live life I learned during my recovery, I was still trying to fit my square-peg self into round holes. But I had a passion. I’d always had a passion. The written word. I’d been writing since I was 9 years old. And I even had a couple of finished novels.

One of the notions that I lost from my time recovering from my injuries was the importance of being in the now. This moment in time. The only time that is really, truly real. Hence, most of my focus was on becoming a new me tomorrow.

I was always looking for the next thing. This was applied to jobs/careers, relationships, places to live, events to attend, and on and on. Looking ahead to being someone else tomorrow, who I am today was ignored.

Then, I started to do more self-examination and inner work.

Photo by Xuan Ma on UnsplashChoosing who I am, today

Somewhere along the way, I learned this quote that’s usually (mis)attributed to Albert Einstein, and realized it resonated all-too-well with me.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I realized that my continued attempts to fit my square-peg self into round holes was robbing me of potential, possibility, and even contentment. So, I started to look more inside myself and began to apply more and more active conscious awareness to choices and decisions.

I stopped trying to date monogamously and began to embrace polyamory. Instead of just accepting that I had to work a standard 9-5 job, I sought work that resonated more with me. I began to write routinely.

More and more, I took actions to live in the moment, be present here and now, and choose who I am, today. Over the next 15 years, I found increasing contentment in people, places, and things. I discovered that I didn’t need to be in a constant state of alarm, concern, and motion.

These things would inform and develop this and other blogs, books, and my overall work and life philosophy. I share these ideas because all that I did to get here, you are also capable of.

Perfectly imperfect

Here’s the truth of who I am today. You can label me as a middle-aged, cis-gendered, white, American, culturally Jewish, mostly straight male. My vocation is writing sci-fi and fantasy novels full-time, with part-time work as a content creator and SEO specialist. I’m in a polyamorous marriage with an amazing woman (and I cannot fully express in words how much she means to me and how grateful I am for her in my life).

I’m not a master of anything, nor am I a guru. But I am always learning, practice daily rituals like meditation and journaling, and strive to be here now, live consciously aware, practice mindfulness, and make my own choices and decisions the best I can.

The result is that I’ve never been more content. The thing I most reflected on during that long drive to do one of the things that brings me the most joy (I love fencing) was how who I am today is not who I was yesterday, and will lead to me being someone else tomorrow. And that’s amazing.

I still struggle with clinical depression, uncertainty, and living in a world where terrified people keep choosing against their best interests (yes, I’m looking at you, Trump supporters). Through it all, I strive to be who I am today because that puts me in control of the only thing I can control. Me. My inner being. I’m perfectly imperfect and embrace the potential and possibility in that.

Be who you are

You have the same power to claim your inner empowerment. To begin, look within, learn your thoughts, feelings, intentions, approach, and actions. To do that, start by asking,

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What are my intentions?Is my approach positive, negative, or neutral?What am I doing?

Each of these puts you in the here and now. That’s the key to informing the idea of who you are today. I was stunned when I realized how seldom I had asked these questions before.

From the answer you get, you can make choices and decisions, here and now. Don’t wait for tomorrow, nor look back to the past. Because only in the present do you have the control to determine who you are.

This takes time, effort, and energy. But I’ve found it utterly worthwhile, because rather than letting life live me or curling up in the fetal position in terror or fear, I’m choosing and deciding to live. That’s why and how I’m empowered, and you have the same ability to do this, too.

Who I am today is not who I was yesterday, and I’ll be someone else tomorrow. And I choose to celebrate the potential and possibility of this and all it means I can do, have, and be.

Thanks for letting me share these insights.

Do you see that you’re as empowered to decide who you are today as I am?

This is the six-hundred-ninety-seventh (697) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.

The post Who I Am Today Is Not Who I Was Yesterday appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

You Choose Your Approach All the Time

You’re the only one in your head, heart, and soul.Photo by marianne bos on Unsplash

Certain things are true for everyone. Every single person on Planet Earth, in one form or another, wakes up, has a day, goes to sleep, and repeats the next day. Yes, some people sleep for only short spans while others get hours. Some people’s “day” is other people’s “night.” Yet everybody has a time when they are awake, not asleep, and moving through their life.

This is where variations begin. Some people live almost completely by rote, routine, and habit. They get up, go through the day to a greater or lesser degree like a zombie, go through the motions, then go back to sleep. Some people live partially by rote, routine, and habit. They have moments during a given wake cycle where they’re consciously aware for a time, but otherwise go through the motions, then go back to sleep.

Every single cycle, you choose anew what that will look like. Every “day” cycle, you decide how much subconscious rote, routine, and habit drives you.

There are times when living subconsciously is utterly helpful. Also, some habits are habits because if you needed to give them conscious attention, you’d waste a lot of time, energy, and potential.

However, living completely by rote, routine, and habit is disempowering and lessens your life experience. This is where your approach comes into play.

Angles, paths, action, and inaction

Rote, routine, and habit allow you to lessen necessary thought-energy and conscious attention to things that, frankly, don’t need it. For example, do you really need to consciously think about how you wash yourself in the shower, brush your teeth, make your bed, put clothes on, and the like? No. These can be subconscious actions because they are both simple and repeatable.

The problem starts when your rote, routine, and habitual acts dominate your life. When you just go through the motions, unaware, subconsciously, you miss out on both simple and complex things. The world fades into a background that moves past you virtually unnoticed.

This, right here, is why all those who have an issue with being “woke” makes no sense. Isn’t it better to be awake and aware than asleep and missing out? Because that’s the crux of it.

Whenever you start your “day” cycle, you choose how consciously or subconsciously you approach that. This is where angles, paths, action, and inaction come into play. Every day, you choose how to do any given thing. Or rather, you CAN choose, but that is also a choice.

Approach is how you walk a path, the angle you take to a given outcome, and action vs inaction on your part. Approach is also where you determine if, consciously, you’re moving via positivity or negativity.

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on UnsplashYou choose your approach

You have utter, complete, and total control over your thoughts, feelings, intentions, actions, and approach. To gain this, all you need to do is question, right here and now,

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What are my intentions?Is my approach positive, negative, or neutral?What am I doing?

Asked in the present, right here and now, you gain insight about who, what, where, how, and why you are. If you don’t like the answer to any of the above questions, you can use active, conscious awareness – mindfulness – to choose to change it.

You, and you alone, have that power. That’s because you’re the only one in your head, heart, and soul. That means you hold all the cards and have all the power.

Approach matters because when you take a negative approach, you set yourself up for an undesirable outcome. You’ve done it before. That thing was happening – the trip you weren’t enthusiastic to take, the person you prefer not to spend time with, the meeting you would rather not attend – and sure enough, it sucked.

Because this is a choice, you can find and employ positivity to determine the angle of your approach, the path, and so on.

However…

You will get it wrong

Yes, even with a positive approach, shit will go wrong. That’s because outside of your head, heart, and soul, you have almost zero control. Other people, places, things, tangible and intangible matters not directly within you aren’t under your control.

On the one hand, this can be utterly frustrating. On the other hand, it means you can focus more on what you do control. That’s empowering. It allows you potential and opportunities to make choices and decisions that determine who, what, where, how, and why you are.

There’s a time and place for rote, routine, and habit. Likewise, there’s a time and place for active conscious awareness. You alone determine when that is and how you employ that. Or not.

When you get it wrong, don’t hide from it. Take responsibility and be accountable for it. Then, let it go and make a new choice/decision. Because consciously or subconsciously, you can, will, and do choose your approach all the time. That might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but in truth, it’s everything.

How are you approaching your life, and what choices and decisions will you make today?

Recognizing how you choose your approach every day isn’t hard

It’s all about practicing mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.

When you recognize and acknowledge that you are choosing your approach all the time, you can employ active conscious awareness – mindfulness – to take control over how you are approaching things, be it positively, negatively, or neutrally. Knowing that you can apply active conscious awareness for your approach, you can choose and decide all the time, at any given time, who, what, where, how, and why your life is.

This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.

Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. From that broader dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

The better aware you are of yourself here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, that can spread to those around you for their empowerment.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the five-hundred-and-eighty-fifth (585) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, reblog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published fiction and non-fiction.

The post You Choose Your Approach All the Time appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Maybe Today Is Not Your Day

Tomorrow might not be your day, either. Yet you’re always empowered.Photo by Taiki Ishikawa on Unsplash

Have you ever started your day excited, enthusiastic, and optimistic? You woke up feeling refreshed, invigorated, and ready to tackle the world? That would be amazing, right?

I’ve been writing about this life philosophy, Pathwalking, for 13.4 years. Six hundred and ninety-six weeks in a row, without fail. For all that time, I’ve been refining my understanding and approach to conscious reality creation, mindfulness, positivity, and making choices and decisions to live life as fully as possible.

Since I started this process, my life overall has been pretty amazing. Yes, there have been numerous ups and downs, good times and bad times, but once I started to not only develop this philosophy, but apply it, I’ve felt more in control of who, what, where, how, and why my life is.

However, not every day is perfect. Shit happens. Much of that is utterly and completely outside of my control. Even still, whenever shit goes down, the choice of how it will impact me or not is wholly mine to make. That never changes, despite it sometimes feeling like it’s not in my power in any way.

You have the same capability to make choices and decisions along these lines. Their employment, however, is wholly up to you.

That said, maybe today is not your day. Tomorrow might not be your day, either.

What you don’t control

The short answer is nearly everything. You have no control over anyone or anything outside of yourself. Are you the parent of a child, dog, cat, or other animal? If so, you know exactly what it’s like to have a modicum of control with zero actual control.

You don’t and can’t control the weather, the government, the economy, or all the other majorly distant entities that are part of your reality. Dialing in closer, you don’t control your bosses, coworkers, other drivers, traffic lights, or the growth of the veggies in your garden. Draw down closer, you don’t and can’t control your friends and loved ones, when and how appliances stop working, or anything else outside of yourself.

Lots of messages imply you can and do control these. But you don’t. Recognizing and acknowledging this, however, opens the way to empowering you to take what control you do have.

What you do control

The short answer is yourself. Circumstances not in your control – like where you were born, sex, skin color, and so on – don’t enter into it. Apart from those factors, you decide who, what, where, how, and why you are.

This begins by controlling your conscious awareness, i.e., mindfulness. This is the internal knowledge in the present moment of the matters of who, what, where, how, and why you are. All you need to do to get to that is ask yourself about your thoughts, feelings, intentions, approach, and actions.

The trouble with what you and I do control is that it only applies to this moment. Right here, right now, in the present. Despite that, maybe today is not your day.

Photo by Sincerely Media on UnsplashMaybe today is not your day

No matter who you are, where you come from, what you have going for you, shit happens. Plans fall apart, people leave you, jobs are lost, things go wrong, sinkholes open up and swallow cars, and so on. Despite active work on mindfulness and conscious awareness, your day might go to hell.

When this happens – and it will – you’ll have an immediate, instinctive, visceral reaction. It might be terror, anger, a need to scream, a need to cry, the desire to run and hide, fight or flight, some indescribable combination of some or all of the above. That’s usually impossible to gauge or predict.

However, once that uncontrolled reaction has passed, you choose what comes next. Victim or victor? Ruined or unbroken? Empowered or disempowered? No, the answer might not come right away, you might need time to recollect yourself, put your thoughts in order, or recover from physical or mental//emotional/spiritual injury. Yet, ultimately, you choose.

Maybe today is not your day. But you still have the power, here and now, to make choices and decisions. You’re always thus empowered.

And yet…

Tomorrow might not be your day, either

What the actual fuck? Why bother if today is not your day and tomorrow might not be your day, either?

Because change is the one and only constant in the Universe. Hell, whole swaths of your life can suck, be challenging and unpleasant, and full of apparent failure. That’s all part and parcel of the human experience.

As part of my Pathwalking philosophy, I postulate that the meaning of life, ultimately, is this: TO LIVE. The meaning of life is to experience living it, and all the ups and downs that go with it.

Your day is likely a blend of good and bad, up and down, happy and sad, short and long, and vast points between these extremes. Nobody, and I mean nobody, lives a completely perfect, drama-free, trauma-free life. Even those who appear to be in the best positions with the most stuff experience shit happening and feeling awful.

Today might not be your day, and tomorrow might not be your day, either. Yet you’re here, now. You’re empowered to make choices and decisions, to take actions to drive your life. Even when this feels untrue, it’s still the truth. Lament that today is not your day, or accept it and see what you can learn from it. Tomorrow might not be your day either, but it IS still another opportunity full of potential and possibility. Whether you believe that or not.

SO – What are you doing with your day today?

This is the six-hundred-ninety-sixth (696) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.

The post Maybe Today Is Not Your Day appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Half The Time To Change Still Feels Too Long

The challenges of living in a quick-fix society.Photo by Jossuha Théophile on Unsplash

The upside and downside of today’s world is its speed. What took several minutes a century ago is virtually instantaneous now. Food that took hours to cook can be made in minutes. The convenience is astonishing.

However, it has also devastated attention spans. People used to accept that things took time way more readily than we do now. We want it instantly, as soon as possible – if not sooner.

What’s more, quick fixes are all too attractive. The idea that a pill can make you thin, another can alleviate all your anxiety and depression, with no additional work like minding diet and exercise or seeing a therapist, is the preferred option.

Yet we forget that to get where we are, right now, was the product of time. Nobody has reached anywhere with success or failure instantly. Time, energy, and work went into it.

That’s why change in half the time (or less) that it took to get from “A” to “B” still feels too long.

Rome wasn’t built in a day

Yes, this is super cliché. Yet it’s the truth. You can’t build a city in a day.

I didn’t become overweight instantly. This is the product of years of unideal food choices, not enough exercise, comfort eating when depressed, and the like. This is the product of decades of actions and inactions on my part.

Would I love to drop 80 pounds in days? Of course I would. But that’s not realistic.

Yes, even using a GLP-1 won’t make you instantly thin. It helps, sure, but it’s not the quick fix many are treating it like. Neither were the diet shake programs, delivered food programs, surgery, or any other strict diet regimen in history.

Nope. Every single successful, long-term weight loss on the part of any individual took time. It also took focus, dedication, and effort.

If I want to take off 80 pounds, I need to be more mindful of what and when I eat, how much I’m exercising, how much water I drink, how much sleep I get, and the like.

It won’t be instantaneous. But neither will it take as long to lose as it did to gain. Yet the time, even half the time, still feels too long.

Photo by Dylan Ferreira on UnsplashHalf the time to change still feels too long

If it takes a year to build a habit mindlessly or subconsciously, building a better habit in six months via active conscious awareness – mindfulness – is an improvement. First, your result is more desirable. Secondly, you did it in half the time.

Yet that’s not instantaneous. Time is still involved. And that, in the world we occupy today, still feels too long.

Half the time to change still feels too long in the grand scheme of things. Yet it’s in no way, shape, or form unreasonable. If it took me 30 years to develop habits I have now, taking 15 to change them is a hell of an improvement.

That’s an extreme, too. Most habits can be changed far faster than half the time. Why? Mindfulness.

When you make active, conscious choices and decisions about who, what, where, how, and why you are, you are taking control. Yes, you’ll still have to work with outside influences and factors, but you’re the one driving your life.

I was subconscious when I ate for comfort when depressed or stressed. Almost unconscious when I snacked mindlessly on sugary things. Years and years of that are what shaped my body as it is today.

If, consciously, I am more mindful of what, how, and when I eat, that’s going to change me. It will also do so in at least half the time, if not faster.

To reconcile this feeling, that half the time to change still feels too long, we need more active, conscious awareness overall.

Active conscious awareness and time

Ever find yourself mindlessly scrolling social media? Playing a semi-stimulating but overall pointless game on your phone? Have you found yourself finishing a bag of chips that you only think you opened a few seconds ago? You weren’t practicing conscious awareness.

That’s how you lose track of time and wonder where it went. This is how you let time use you and contribute to the feeling that “X” feels too long. Because when you spend your time subconsciously, you aren’t aware. When you’re not aware, you aren’t present. Then, time treats you like a doormat or a rug and walks all over you.

Recognizing and acknowledging this is the key to not being sucked into the surrealness of instant gratification and quick fixes. It also opens the way to a more fulfilling and enjoyable use of your time and energy on any given day.

To become consciously aware and mindful, all you need to do is ask,

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What are my intentions?Is my approach positive, negative, or neutral?What am I doing?

These questions can only be asked and answered mindfully, consciously. That inner awareness also opens you to more outer awareness. That helps you see that when half the time to change still feels too long, it’s truly not.

Lastly, but certainly not least, the positivity of this fact is incalculably empowering. That’s because this realization helps you gain more control over your life experience.

Knowing that it’s not too long when half the time to change still feels too long isn’t hard

It’s all about practicing mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.

When you recognize and acknowledge that getting anywhere in your life from “A” to “B” has taken time, you can see how the subconscious achievements can be overcome in at least half the time by conscious actions. Knowing that you can apply active conscious awareness – mindfulness – to the given matter, you can make conscious choices and decisions to impact change without letting the desire for instant achievement/gratification create overwhelm and derail you and what you’re doing.

This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.

Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. From that broader dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

The better aware you are of yourself here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, that can spread to those around you for their empowerment.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the five-hundred-and-eighty-fourth (584) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published fiction and non-fiction.

The post Half The Time To Change Still Feels Too Long appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

The Fine Line Between Knowing and Overwhelming

How do you define too much information?Photo by Kayla Velasquez on Unsplash

I’m mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to reclaim my balance these days.

Why? Because I care about the world I live in. It matters to me that our so-called leaders are doing so many hateful, unhinged, harmful things to people, places, and things. Reading about the latest injustice, the unnecessary cruelty, and the utter uncaring is a lot.

It’s all too easy to get dragged in deeper and deeper. Well-meaning friends share a lot of the terrible things in the interest of staying informed. The problem is that it takes very little to cross that fine line between knowing and overwhelming.

When you cross that line, you experience a lot of distress. Then, if your life is not directly impacted, or actually going well in the middle of all this, you feel guilty, maybe even ashamed. You might start to wonder if, unintentionally, you’re Nero fiddling as the world burns around you.

I’m struggling to walk the tightrope of that fine line between knowing and overwhelming. Since I know I’m not alone, I’d like to share some insight with you about this.

Information vs too much information

Mainstream media is hard to discern. Even the largely neutral sources are not without bias or consideration for their parent company and profit. Add to that the outright propaganda machines, sensationalism, clickbait, and an increasingly anti-intellectual movement, and identifying fake and true is incredibly difficult.

The instant connectivity of the internet has been both good and bad for us all. On the one hand, you can communicate with anyone anywhere around the globe instantly. On the other hand, you can share and spread a disproven opinion just as instantaneously.

True or false, real or fake, the line between information and too much information is difficult to see. Knowledge is power, and more than that, empowerment. But where’s the line between being in the know and being overwhelmed?

This line is different for different people. For me, the line is noticeable when I begin to feel hopeless and lost. When I start to feel like it’s all crashing down and I’m a bug in danger of being squashed, that’s how I can tell I’ve taken in too much information.

The danger of that is the impact that it has on my mental, emotional, spiritual, and ultimately physical health, wellness, and wellbeing.

Walking the fine line between knowing and overwhelming

When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I start to feel disempowered. If I allow that to dominate my psyche, it will lead to mental, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion, depression, and potentially worse.

The warning sign for me is that feeling of hopelessness, of being lost, of seeing no way out. It’s a nagging fear that everything is coming apart and there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it.

I suspect that this is what leads some people into suicidal thoughts and actions. I never go that way, but I do sink into depression, sadness, and a negative state that leads to me gaining weight, losing muscle tone, and a variety of other mental, emotional, and spiritual discomforts.

Walking the fine line between knowing and overwhelming is best done mindfully. When I practice active conscious awareness – mindfulness – I have clarity. That clarity is internal, and despite notions to the contrary, not selfish.

To engage with this, I must make active choices and decisions about my life.

Photo by Praswin Prakashan on UnsplashChoosing the paths you walk

You, and you alone, are in your head, heart, and soul. Nobody else can live your life for you. And honestly, do you want them to?

Ultimately, you decide who, what, where, how, and why you are. Yes, sometimes some situations and circumstances have brought you to who, what, where, how, and why you are that you haven’t controlled. Odds are, that’s due to entirely external matters.

This is where mindfulness empowers you. Specifically, self-awareness. That begins by asking yourself questions like,

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What are my intentions?Is my approach positive, negative, or neutral?What am I doing?

Every single one of the above questions can only be asked and answered by you, and only right here, right now. When you don’t ask them, you lose yourself. When you lose yourself, it’s easy for you to become overwhelmed.

This is why I’m exploring the fine line between knowing and overwhelming. Because crossing it does more harm than good.

Knowing and overwhelming and empowerment

It’s not at all selfish to practice self-care. Specifically, to use active conscious awareness to recognize the line between knowing and overwhelming.

This is why I am spending far less time browsing social media. It’s far too easy to go down this or that rabbit hole and become overwhelmed by it all.

When I get overwhelmed, I become disempowered. When I’m disempowered, my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health, wellness, and wellbeing get neglected. That does me harm, which then means I can do even less for the world around me.

Recognizing the fine line between knowing and overwhelming is important. That’s because any change you desire to see in the world at large can only start within you. All change necessitates empowerment, and empowerment comes from within, not from without.

I share this because it helps me better cope and create my empowerment. And I hope that by sharing, you see that you’re not alone and how you can also choose the fine line between knowing and overwhelming for your overall health, wellness, and wellbeing.

When you recognize it, how do you manage that line?

This is the six-hundred-ninety-fifth (695) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.

The post The Fine Line Between Knowing and Overwhelming appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Be Mindful of Your Outrage

Be outraged, but be mindful of what that means.Photo by Barbara Burgess on Unsplash

There is some absolutely bizarre shit happening in the world today. Between the utterly messed up political machine in the US, the Russian oligarchy and Putin, and the ongoing Israel/Palestine debacle, it feels like all reason and sanity have left the building.

And maybe it has. Rational, reasonable, multifaceted debate has given way to loud, opinionated, factless shouting. Civil discourse has been replaced by baseless, repetitious, utterly false jingoism and worse. Insane rantings and unrealistic beliefs frequently overrule well-researched and scientifically proven facts.

If you are in any way, shape, or form a rational, reasonable human being, it’s all too easy to be outraged by it all. Then, via outrage, you lash out and share the latest surreal power-grab; hateful, spiteful law or executive order; and other unhinged bullshit.

Becoming outraged can be a wake-up call that can drive action to make change. However, being mindful of your outrage – and what you do with it – is important.

Old man shouts at the cloud

It is important to know what’s happening in the world at large. We need to be aware. However, there’s knowledge, and then there’s oversaturation.

There is no need to dig into every single minute, petty, ridiculous detail about that person or thing. You don’t need to do a deep dive into the psychology, sociology, or other finer details of the subject. Yes, knowledge is power, but what good does knowing every little nuance of the matter do you?

The truth is that it makes you angrier. It adds to the frustration, the uncertainty, and, ultimately, the outrage. You dig deep enough, and you will become a ranting, raving, highly angered person trying to find logic and reason where there is none.

What’s more, the deeper you dig, the more you’ll see less and less that you can do about it. While it’s good to dig out the roots of your own internal, subconscious life, the same is not necessarily true of what’s outside of you.

Why? Because you cannot change anyone or anything outside of you and what you can internally and externally touch. You can’t make that person doing that awful, hateful thing, see your perspective of it, and stop doing it.

Outrage is all well and good for motivating you to action. But when you are not mindful of it, you will shout at the cloud and stir anger, resentment, fear, and hopelessness. Why? Because no solutions are being sought while more troubles are piled up.

Photo by Jack Prommel on UnsplashBe mindful of your outrage

Again, I’m not at all saying that you shouldn’t be outraged. By all means, please see that you should be. But recognize where you can and can’t do something about the situation and apply conscious awareness from there.

Why? Because if you desire to have any control of your life experience, you need to begin within yourself. Take your outrage and campaign for a better candidate, attend a protest, boycott the terrible business, send emails, make calls, and do things to act.

Strengthen yourself. Via mindfulness, you learn who, what, where, how, and why you are. That might not seem like much, but how do you think these awful people come to power? Because people who don’t know who, what, where, how, and why they are look without for the answers. Sure, you can find some guidance outside of yourself, but not the answers. That’s because the answers exist in you. You are the only one in your head, heart, and soul. Ergo, you alone think what you think, feel what and how you feel, choose your intentions and a positive or negative approach, and act or not.

You cannot change anything without until you begin to work within yourself. That is not selfish or self-serving; it’s a matter of self-care.

Start within

Becoming consciously aware – mindful – of yourself is the first step in any control you can exert. Much of this is due to the fact that the only real control you have is over yourself, your inner being.

When you seek to learn who, what, where, how, and why you are, you gain clarity and become empowered. Since the only control you truly have is of yourself, you need knowledge of yourself to exert that control.

From that knowledge, you can take your outrage at the external matters of the world and see ways to help change the collective consciousness for the better. In that way, by being mindful of your outrage, you can use it to effect real, positive, useful change.

Every big idea started in one mind, head, heart, and soul. Fueled by necessity, desire, outrage, and the like, it was made manifest. Mindfulness of your outrage could lead to action you won’t find in mindless, heedless outrage. You are empowered to do something with that, and mindfulness of this truth is how you act on it.

Becoming mindful of your outrage isn’t hard

It’s all about practicing mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.

When you recognize and acknowledge what outrages you, and that you can do little to nothing about the big-picture issues around you, you can use mindfulness to take action to do something useful with it. Knowing that you can start small, with yourself, to do something impactful, can be the catalyst to take outrage and make manifest something alternative to whatever that thing/happening is for the betterment of both yourself and others.

This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.

Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. From that broader dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

The better aware you are of yourself here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, that can spread to those around you for their empowerment.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the five-hundred-and-eighty-third (583) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published fiction and non-fiction.

The post Be Mindful of Your Outrage appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What You Do and Don’t Stress Over Is Your Choice

Nobody lives stress-free.Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

Life is crazy. Much of this is by its very nature. Existing in this world, in the body you call your own, is fraught with all kinds of craziness in and of itself. The aging process alone is enough to drive a person mad.

Then there are the people, places, and things – both tangible and intangible – that are part of life but not you. I don’t care where your politics lie, you can’t tell me that what’s happening in the world today is in any way, shape, or form, normal. This is all crazy.

Both from within and without, you’re presented with a sometimes seemingly endless stream of craziness. Then, you’re presented with a myriad of opinions, viewpoints, concepts, ideologies, and so on. Unless you’ve successfully made yourself a hermit, disconnected from it all and living off the grid, this can, will, and does impact you.

The result of the craziness of life is stress. Stress will do all sorts of things to you on every imaginable level. It can hit you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Stress will drive you but also still you. How it impacts you will differ depending on circumstances, happenstance, time, place, space, and numerous factors in and out of your control.

Identifying a given stressor, what it is, why it is, and how it impacts you is important to your overall health, wellness, and wellbeing. Because, ultimately, what you do and don’t stress over is your choice.

The reality of stress

Like it or not, stress is a completely natural part of life. At least in the abstract. How stress manifests is as wildly variable as each of the 8 billion of us living on this planet.

Stress can be physiological, biological, and psychological. It can be internal and external, literal and metaphorical, material and immaterial. According to the World Health Organization,

“Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Everyone experiences stress to some degree. The way we respond to stress, however, makes a big difference to our overall well-being.”

That last bit is the key. “The way we respond to stress, however, makes a big difference to our overall well-being.” Part of the challenge with this is that it can and will impact you on every level – mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. Stress causes depression, anxiety, questions about beliefs and values, and even heart attacks, strokes, and other physical issues.

Because stress is utterly, completely natural and unavoidable, you have no choice but to deal with it. Because when you don’t, it will fuck with you in all sorts of ways. Stress you don’t address will creep into your psyche and do you harm, sometimes even mortal harm.

But you are not without the ability to cope with any given stressor.

Photo by Anna Dziubinska on UnsplashWhat you do and don’t stress over is your choice

The truth is that most of the causes of stress are external. Other people, both near and far, do shit that impacts you and your life. This ranges from the way-removed government officials and agencies to the slightly-less removed bosses, ministers, and police officers to the nearby immediate friends, family, coworkers, and others you interact with regularly.

I find that if I get sucked down the rabbit hole of social media and start to fixate on the ongoing news of this, that, and the other horrible thing various so-called “leaders” are doing, it stresses me out. And other than voting against them, protesting them, boycotting businesses that support them, there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it.

Likewise, stressing out about anything outside of my immediate control, like taxes, the next stupid thing a well-meaning relative might say, or seeing a friend going through a rough patch, also needlessly injures me.

How is it a choice? Because rather than allow myself to get stressed out over the things I can’t control, I can choose instead to shift my focus, where and how to place my energy, and by looking inside myself to understand what is causing me to experience stress and how it manifests in me.

Yes, this takes us to active conscious awareness – i.e., mindfulness. When you pause to look inside yourself and examine what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what your intentions are, if you’re taking a positive or negative approach to things, and what you are or aren’t doing, you gain clarity.

More than that, you gain insight into what you can and do control. The only thing you really, truly, can and do control. You.

You choose and you decide

We live in a world of incredible, surreal amounts of distraction. Social media is a huge culprit. Then you have email, TV, streaming services, and tons of other things at your fingertips that distract you. Specifically, they distract you from looking within or thinking and feeling entirely of your own accord.

Hence, you find that things you have zero control over are stressing you out. Before you know it, you’re depressed, flustered, and anxious. In time, unchecked, you start to have trouble catching your breath, develop nastier physical symptoms, and stress changes how you live.

You have the power to stop that by choosing what you do and don’t stress over. No, you can’t irradicate and ignore stressors. You can, however, choose what is bothering you and then find ways to deal with it.

Give yourself the grace and the permission to take stock of who, what, where, how, and why you are. Take any necessary break from social media, engaging in discussions of things you can’t do jack shit about, and where you put your focus and attention. It is not selfish in any way, shape, or form, to choose what you do and don’t stress over.

Nobody lives stress-free. But everybody is empowered to choose what they do and don’t stress over. Recognizing and acknowledging this opens numerous paths for you to find more calm, get more centered and balanced, and make your stressors manageable.

What’s causing you stress today, and what, if anything, can you do about it?

This is the six-hundred-ninety-fourth (694) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.

The post What You Do and Don’t Stress Over Is Your Choice appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Can You Tell When Positivity Is Toxic?

There are lots of signs when it’s not genuine.Photo by NEOM on Unsplash

The concept of positivity has gotten a bad reputation because of toxic positivity.

What is toxic positivity? It’s a form of unnatural, forced positivity. It can also be a gross misinterpretation of the concept of the power of positive thinking, the Law of Attraction, and the like.

At its core, toxic positivity is the notion of absolute, no-holds-barred, no-other-options positivity. The idea is that an utterly positive attitude, approach, and positioning is the best way to get, create, or manifest whatever it is you desire.

This has given genuine positivity – which is empowering – a bad reputation. Toxic positivity tends to be very Pollyanna-ish and fraught with blinders and rose-colored glasses that defy, ignore, and disregard the world around you.

Recognizing the toxic from the nontoxic can help you make more empowering choices and decisions to live life on your terms. In the current madness of the world, that’s incredibly huge and important for your overall health, wellness, and wellbeing.

How can you tell when positivity is toxic?

The first sign that positivity is toxic is when it’s applied with utter disregard for the negative. If the notion of positivity you’re being presented suggests ignoring, disregarding, and pretending that negative shit happening in the world isn’t – you’re playing with toxic positivity.

When the practice of positivity you’re seeing tells you to play down negativity, tells you not to let negative thoughts and feelings into your head, heart, and soul – you’re dealing with toxic positivity.

You can tell that positivity is toxic when it feels like it’s forced, disingenuous, and pushy. When it leaves you feeling played, dirty, or inexplicably off, and the suggested application disregards your thoughts, feelings, and intentions, you can tell that the positivity you’re being presented with is toxic.

Anytime someone presents you with something being the One True Way, or the Only Option, or the singular, best, and only answer, it’s probably toxic, no matter what it is.

You are one of 8 billion people on this planet. All 8,000,000,000 of us think, feel, intend, and perceive the world uniquely. Hence, there’s NEVER One True Way, an Only Option, or an absolute, singular, best answer.

Genuine, nontoxic positivity

Here’s the way to tell when positivity is nontoxic. It doesn’t ignore, disregard, or put blinders on in the face of negativity. Real, genuine, nontoxic positivity recognizes not only the existence of negativity but the need for it.

Yes, need. There are tons of examples of good things borne of bad things. Shit happens, terrible things occur, and someone takes that and creates something better. Rather than ignore or disregard the negativity, you see it for what it is, recognize it, acknowledge it, and then use it as a springboard to build better.

For example, failure happens. Almost every success story is preceded by a long string of failures. Lots of the technology we enjoy today is the result of a failure. For good or ill, this includes the rubber on tires, Post-it notes, KFC, Amazon, and tons of other people, places, and things.

That’s why ignoring, disregarding, and pretending negative things aren’t real or don’t happen are the main signs of toxicity. Genuine positivity is the Yin to negativity’s Yang.

Photo by Chris Nemeth on UnsplashYou need both good and bad, positive and negative, and other extremes

Most of us exist between the extremes of life, the universe, and everything. Between good and bad, black and white, big and small, genuine and artificial, abundant and lacking, and on and on.

Anything toxic is one-sided, one-dimensional, and ignores the need for the opposite. You need both extremes as a gauge for how to live in society with others. Without them, we’re like the rest of the animal kingdom – merely existing.

Humans are the only animals capable of adapting to any and all extremes, building complex tools for good or ill, and choosing who, what, where, how, and even why to be. Yet many want people to be herded, controlled, and disempowered to follow the lead of a very select few. Why? Because of false beliefs in lack, scarcity, and insufficiency that force people to compete where there is no competition (i.e., get what’s yours before it’s taken from you). Which is not, in fact, how the world works.

Genuine positivity opens you to be empowered. When you’re empowered, you can take control of your life experience via choices and decisions to be, do, and have the things you desire.

Everyone experiences good and bad. How can you tell when positivity is toxic? Because ultimately, it doesn’t truly empower you and doesn’t feel empowering.

Recognizing toxic positivity vs nontoxic positivity isn’t hard

It’s all about practicing mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.

When you recognize the toxic from the nontoxic, you can acknowledge that genuine positivity is there when you look for it, and you can use it to make choices and decisions to improve your life. Knowing that toxic positivity ignores negativity, you can recognize the genuine from the toxic, then use that to make empowering choices and decisions about how to apply it or not.

This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.

Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. From that broader dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

The better aware you are of yourself here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, that can spread to those around you for their empowerment.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the five-hundred-and-eighty-second (582) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published fiction and non-fiction.

The post How Can You Tell When Positivity Is Toxic? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

I Choose My Own Path To Exercise What Control I Can

The choices you make empower or disempower you.Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

I’m realizing I need to spend less and less time on social media.

This creates something of a disconnect for me. As part of marketing my books, Facebook and Instagram are important, useful resources. So, I can’t quit them entirely. But I can choose not to surf them.

One of the bigger challenges of walking the indie-author/authorpreneur path is the non-writing elements. The editing, hiring professionals for copy editing and cover art, the layout, going over the edits from the editor, recording the audiobook, and then sales and marketing. These require multiple hats to be worn and different skills applied.

Why bother? Because that’s part of choosing your path. When you choose what path to take in life, you choose to take control. While that can and will have external, tangible applications, it begins with the internal and intangible.

That’s because the intangibles of you are where you have all the control. Let’s take a closer, more in-depth look into what this is all about.

You’re the only one inside your head, heart, and soul

When all is said and done, you’re the only one inside your head, in your heart, and in your soul. That means that you, and you alone, drive yourself from within.

Nobody can make you do anything you don’t choose to allow them to. Yes, that feels like a lie. That’s because certain obligations, expectations, and outside influences insist that you must do, be, have, and otherwise use this, that, or the other thing.

Get that job. Drive that car. Contribute to society as a worker-ant. Propagate the species and have children. Don’t disappoint your parents/religious leaders/bosses/demagogues. Live how, where, and why they – who aren’t you but somehow know better than you – insist. Be this way, and only this way…or get voted off the island.

All of that can feel like the truth of the world. It’s not. You have more control of yourself and your life than any of that gives you. But you do have that control. And it begins inside your head, heart, and soul.

Where? With your thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and positive or negative approach. You, and only you, think your thoughts, feel your feelings, intend who/what/where/how/and why to be. Nobody but you can choose your positive or negative approach to anything and everything. Only you can act for you and your life.

Thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and a positive or negative approach are wholly, completely, and totally in your control. You, and you alone, can choose what they are, how they impact you, and so on.

From these, you can take control of your life and choose your path, choose your own adventure.

I choose my own path to exercise what control I can

It’s important to acknowledge the big damned elephant in the room. Everything outside of you is outside of your control.

Wow, do some people resist this reality. Look at all the religious leaders who want you to live only the way they think you should. What about the bosses who demand you do your job only how they envision it? The reason I need to spend less time on social media is the oversaturation of political bullshit as some of our so-called leaders try to force everyone into their twisted, harsh, and unkind mold.

Guess what? They do not control you. Or me. Or anyone at all, for that matter – unless you choose to cede your power to them and let them tell you who, what, where, why, and how to be.

I choose my own path in this life because I desire to make my own choices and decisions for who, what, where, how, and why I am. That’s not always easy, and I don’t always get it right. But by making my own choices and decisions, I take control of my thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and positive or negative approach. Which are, frankly, the only things I can totally, completely, and 100% control.

Yes, shit happens that evokes an uncontrolled, automated response mentally, emotionally, spiritually, even physically. However, after that initial response, you can choose where to go from there. Let an initial negative response pull you down – or – recognize and acknowledge it and use it to be/have/do better. That choice is wholly, completely, 100% yours.

By choosing my own path, I am choosing active conscious awareness and the power of mindfulness to live as best I can. Awake, aware, and in control. Hence why I cannot fathom how anyone thinks being “woke” is a negative.

Photo by ActionVance on UnsplashControl is not a license to rape, pillage, and burn

Trump, Musk, Putin, Netanyahu, and too many other politicians and oligarchs set the worst possible examples. Rather than take control to live their lives as best they can, they strive to force their vision on everyone else. That’s because they think controlling what’s outside of them is more important and real than what they can and truly do control.

Because of these terrible examples, too many people are now disregarding kindness, compassion, empathy, and caring. People think if they are selfish and greedy like them, they will achieve the pinnacles of power they appear to have. Worse, the false lack, scarcity, and insufficiency of things not truly lacking, scarce, or insufficient are used to deny the “other” basic human decency.

In truth, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can control anyone other than themselves. Taking your own power – empowering yourself – is not a license to rape, pillage, and burn to get where you want to go. Taking control of your thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and positive or negative approach is about you, but not selfish.

Ergo, it employs kindness, compassion, empathy, and caring. This always starts as an inside job. Because the only things you really, truly, genuinely control are what lie inside your head, heart, and soul.

I choose my own path to exercise what control I can, but not to be bigger, better, or somehow greater than anyone else. No, I choose my own path to exercise what control I can because then I am actively, consciously creating my reality, choosing and deciding who, what, where, how, and why I am, and striving to live my best life.

You are worthy and deserving of living life as best you can

You are empowered the same as I am. When you focus on the things within your head, heart, and soul, which you alone can control, you open the way to more potential, possibilities, and options.

Despite the messages in the collective consciousness of the “other” being less worthy and deserving of living a good life, they are. Because there is no true “other”. Every immigrant, homosexual, nonbinary, transgendered, person of color, woman, and any other label you place, is worthy and deserving of empowerment. Bullshit laws disempowering people are false applications of control to mold the world into a vision of reality that never has been and never will be real.

You, no matter your race, creed, color, orientation, and whatever, are worthy and deserving of living life as best you can. One way to begin that is by giving yourself control over your thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and positive or negative approach. Since it is now and always has been wholly, totally, and utterly yours – wake up and assume control over it.

Remember, nobody is less than you. Nobody is unworthy or undeserving, and despite messages to the contrary, nobody is trying to deny you what’s yours.

I choose my own path to exercise control of what I can because that’s how I do my best to be my best and experience all the wonders, potential, and possibilities life has to offer.

Easy? No. Worthwhile? Absolutely.

Do you practice active conscious awareness – i.e., mindfulness – to take what control in your life you truly can?

This is the six-hundred-ninety-third (693) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.

The post I Choose My Own Path To Exercise What Control I Can appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

It’s There When You Choose to Look For It

You can always find positivity somewhere.Photo by Dylan Sauerwein on Unsplash

Over the past couple of months, I’ve needed to lessen my time on social media. Why? Because there is so much fear, uncertainty, and negativity pervading every channel, it’s difficult not to be left feeling bad.

Bear in mind, I am in no way, shape, or form, advocating for putting on blinders, adopting a Pollyanna attitude, or ignoring the shit going down out there. Awareness is important because knowledge is power. What I am choosing for myself is just staying on top of the basics without doing deep dives into all the nitty gritty, horrific, scary, surreal details.

Why? Because the truth is that there isn’t a fucking thing I can do. I can’t make these people stop being selfish, or help people view kindness/compassion/empathy as good rather than bad, or recognize that they’re being played. You can’t help people who don’t see the problem or understand the broader implications to wake up (or, for that matter, understand the irony of viewing “woke” as somehow a bad thing).

Because there’s nothing I can do, lamenting on all the awfulness only makes me feel bad and disempowers me. Soaking in hopelessness closes all the doors, creates the path to a downward spiral, and makes you increasingly ineffectual.

That’s why, as a first step, I’m reducing how much information I absorb via social media. This is protection for my own sanity.

You choose

Chances are, if you’re reading this, you see the same things I see. Increasing acceptance of racism, hatred, partisanship, bullying, and worse. You’re probably seeing the increasing disregard and outright shunning of kindness, compassion, and empathy. It’s terrifying, surreal, and distressing beyond words.

When you put all your focus on this, you give it more power. The more you view the media the more you tell them that’s what you want to see. Even mainstream media is all about getting more views to make their sponsors and shareholders wealthy. More views means more attention and that leads to emphasis on the titillating, the dark, the scandalous, and negativity.

That’s why I am choosing to spend less time on social media. Which is really, really hard. Social media lets me keep up with friends far away. But it also distracts and disillusions me.

You choose for yourself what you watch, where you surf online, and what you focus on. When you choose negativity, you get more negativity. Why? Because consciousness creates reality.

Finding genuine, nontoxic positivity to counter all this madness is challenging. Nonetheless, it’s there when you choose to look for it.

Photo by Susan Q Yin on UnsplashIt’s there when you choose to look for it

Positivity is often overshadowed by toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is the idea that if you ignore, disregard, and where blinders regarding negativity and unpleasant, bad things, everything will be alright. This, of course, is total bullshit.

The Universe is made of opposites. Yin and yang, black and white, etc. Hence, you can’t have positivity without negativity. They need one another. And, more than that, negative happenings can drive positivity in response.

People come together that didn’t before to resist the awful things happening in the world. Separate marginalized groups learn they’re stronger together. People who’ve chosen not to vote before realize that they need to vote if they want any say at all in how an election plays out. Rather than roll over and give up, many use negativity to spur them, inspire them, and drive them to new and better places.

Positivity is there when you choose to look for it. But this isn’t positivity in the extreme. This is more about small victories, general good things, and celebrating other seemingly insignificant bits and pieces.

For example, I have air in my lungs, the sun is shining, and I have a roof over my head. I have the technology and means to share these ideas with you. My clothes are comfortable and in good repair, and I have clean water to drink.

These are all positive, good things. Positivity in the wild. Real, genuine, and nontoxic. And, most importantly, it’s there when you choose to look for it.

Why does it matter?

If you give up, give in, allow fear, hopelessness, and uncertainty to dictate your world, you’ve ceded your power. You are a creator, a powerful being, and you have the ability to choose positivity in the face of negativity to work with potential and possibility to build better. That’s your power, and only you can exercise it for you and your life.

Positivity is the faucet you can open to start the action to change the collective consciousness for the better. It’s there when you choose to look for it. The choice, however, is wholly yours to make or not.

Recognizing that it’s there when you choose to look for it isn’t hard

It’s all about practicing mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.

When you recognize and acknowledge that genuine, helpful, nontoxic positivity is there when you look for it, you can make choices and for what you give your focus and attention to. Knowing that consciousness creates reality, and allowing hopelessness to overwhelm you harms your health, wellness, and wellbeing on every level, you can choose to look for even the small, seemingly insignificant bits and pieces of positivity you have to improve things.

This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.

Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. From that broader dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

The better aware you are of yourself here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, that can spread to those around you for their empowerment.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the five-hundred-and-eighty-first (581) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published fiction and non-fiction.

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