Clare Macnaughton's Blog, page 30

Creating a Better Home for the Military Family

 

Even as the image of what constitutes a traditional family is rapidly changing before our eyes, mums still tend to be the ones who take the lead role in making the home a wonderful place. For better or for worse, it’s part of the territory. However, military mothers have a somewhat more difficult job because of the environment they find themselves in. Let’s face it; the military can be a very raw place.

Unfortunately, the nature of the national fighting machine allows your children to be exposed to lots of bad habits and attitudes that could negatively affect their futures. Again, it comes with the territory. Nevertheless, these days more military mothers are being proactive by taking steps to make their homes better places, despite their surroundings.

We’ve looked around to see what some military mothers are doing to create a better home. Here are some of the things we found:

1. Reducing Alcohol and Tobacco

It is no secret that the military is a place where alcohol and tobacco are regarded almost as essential tools of the trade. However, the permissive attitudes within the military environment can be bad for the physical and mental health of children. Reducing both alcohol and tobacco in the home is a wise idea.

Where alcohol is concerned, abuse and dependence have become real problems in the UK. And unfortunately, children of alcohol abusers tend to wind up going that way themselves. Would it not just be better for your kids if you kept alcohol use to a minimum? In the long run, the pain of doing without alcohol now will be better for your family in the future.

Moving on to smoking, it is a habit we know kills millions of people every year. We also know smoking is a habit that is terribly difficult to overcome. If you cannot quit, or do not want to, you can reduce the harm of the smoking habit by supplementing or replacing tobacco cigarettes with an electronic cigarette.

Yes, electronic cigarettes are very real and well accepted in the consumer marketplace. In fact, there are now more than 1.3 million vapers (e-cigarette users) in the UK. Brands like Vapestick.co.uk and http://uk.govype.com sell their products online and through various retail outlets around the country. The products are incredibly popular as a tobacco alternative and growing more so every day.

 

2. Eating Better

 

The nomadic life of the military family can make it difficult to develop your cooking and meal planning skills. The result is that it becomes far too easy to accept poor nutrition and eating habits. On the other hand, studies have shown that good nutrition leads to better physical health, better mental health, and a better overall outlook on life.

Improving the nutrition of your family does not require drastic changes overnight. You can do things gradually, beginning with learning how to plan meals in advance to ensure you are buying the healthiest ingredients at the supermarket. If you don’t know what to purchase, many online resources discuss nutritional meal planning in detail. There is no shortage of helpful information, that’s for sure.

 

3. More Family Time

 

Military families are no different from their non-military counterparts in terms of time management. And unfortunately, most of our family time is stolen away by things like video games, social media, and running all over town to various activities. Guess what? You don’t need all of that for a healthy and happy home life.

Make a point to set aside a designated amount of time every week just for family activities. Turn off the game console and the computer, put away the mobile phone, and spend time together doing something you all enjoy. It’s not hard if you put your mind to it. As for the rewards family time offers, they are more valuable than anything you will ever find at the shops.

 

4. Make Use of the Dining Table

 

As simple as it sounds, making a point of actually sitting down together and having dinner as a family can go a long way toward building solid relationships between parents and children. The dining table has historically been the place where kids tell their stories, mothers and fathers dispense their wisdom, and lifetime memories are made.

Your hectic schedule and irregular work hours might make it difficult for you to make use of the dining table every single evening. However, do the best you can. Moreover, if schedules make it impossible to share dinner together, you can always make it to lunch or breakfast. The point is to make the time to enjoy a regular meal together. It is a simple thing that can do wonders for your home life.

As a military mother, you certainly have your hands full in an environment that sometimes appears rather hostile. But you can do this. To get started, we encourage you to choose just one of the things from this list. Try switching to an electronic cigarette or learning how to plan more nutritional meals. Make the effort to spend time together as a family. It matters not how you start – just do something. Your family is too valuable to ignore.

 

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Mercury in Retrograde Ends Friday #WritersUnite

I can tell you that I know how fucked up and out of control I feel by how frequently I read my astrological stars. Not that I pay a ridiculous amount of attention as they have varying degrees of accuracy, but I somehow find it soothing to read them. They give me time to take a moment and decide to discard, or absorb, or sometimes a glimmer of much needed hope that everything is going to be alright. Mercury has been in retrograde for the last three weeks and it ends on Friday, or thereabouts. Apparently, when Mercury goes Retrograde, which it does a few times a year everything goes tipsy topsy , or topsy turvy for three weeks and it’s not a good time to strike out into the new.

Now, as it happens on Friday, as we cease to be all retrograded I will be at the London Author Fair striking out into the new. I have finally composed Volume 2 of The Tales from the Domestic Frontline – The Art of Not Giving a Fuck and so I am going to be testing the water and deciding what to do.

Options, options, options.

Option 1:

Seek a traditional publisher and combine Volume 1 & 2

Option 2:

Self publish Volume 1 & 2 via a new platform

Option 3:

Self publish Volume 2 only via Amazon Kindle and Createspace

The London Author’s Fair is championing the independent author. Author’s can no longer simply compose words – we are brands in charge of our destiny. We are publishers. We are marketeers. We engage directly with our audience. We no longer hide with crazy hair, in dusty attics tied to our typewriters – we are pivotal in surrounding ourselves with the potential audience and pitching directly to them – read me! Read me! READ ME!!!!!

I was lucky enough to listen to the great Oz himself, Armistead Maupin speak on his whistlestop tour of the UK and he said many things that resonated with me because he was one of the first authors to capture me in my youth – Enid Blyton, Judi Blume, Judith Kerr, Nicholas Fisk and then as I matured it was Tales of the City that I devoured hungrily. But he said in an interview with the BBC, that the next thing he was thinking about doing a one man show, where he would sit on the stage and tell his stories to the audience – directly from him to them. Maybe at the Edinburgh Fringe. The next day the Edinburgh Fringe rang him and offered him a slot.

With this in mind, I am also writing a play. A platform to create an opportunity to take my words on tour so that I can in turn sell more books and keep the conversation conversing. As time passes, my tale stops just being about my experiences, but an epoch in history when for a decade the British military rolled on roulement constantly in out of the enduring ops of Afghanistan.

So as Mercury cease to retrograde on Friday, I hope that new doors open as #WritersUnite at the London Author’s Fair and we find solutions to bring our books to life, and into the hearts and minds of the reader, so we can satiate their hunger, like Armistead Maupin did mine, back in 1986, in my bedroom, lost in the gay community of San Francisco, wishing I was there in person.

Wish me luck. It’s Carpe Diem.

Follow the action on twitter:

#LAF14

me: @amodmilitarymum

LAF: @LonAuthorFair

 

A taste of the play:

Scene Two – in Kitchen set

 

Alice, who is in her mid twenties, is sitting on a chair with her leg in a plaster cast resting on another chair. She is smoking a joint.

 

Suddenly, Hagar, who is in his late twenties, wearing a yellow rugby shirt, high waisted jeans and bike boots, bursts loudly into the room.

 

Hagar Hello, dream date!!!

 

Hagar stands in the corner of the room with his hands on his hips.

 

Alice jumps out of her skin and quickly stubs the joint out in ashtray and waves the smoke away with her hand. She looks up completely embarrassed. Hagar strides over and kisses her on the cheek.

 

Hagar Where are Stasia and Barry?

 

Alice They sharp exited left when they heard your bike turn up so they could completely humiliate me. In fact, they got me so stoned I can barely speak, while continuously showing me photos of you and Stasia when you were young. It’s all a bit surreal. I feel slightly altered.

 

Awkward silence

 

Hagar Look at your cast. Are you ok?

 

Hagar pulls up a chair and sits really close to Alice, slightly invading her personal space.

 

Alice It’s ok. It does hurt. I really fucked it up. I was under for 5 hours while they operated. I have 8 pins in it. I was worried that I was going to set the metal detectors off at an airport but apparently the pins are made of titanium so they don’t set them off. I’m not sure if I am disappointed or not. You know, all that pain and injury, I wanted to eek the most out of it and bore airport security to death with a tale of impressive injury.

 

Hagar Grimacing  How did you do it?

 

Alice I was watching the start of the Whitbread Round the World Race on an 8m RIB, with a 350 horsepower inboard engine.

 

Hagar Nice boat. I bet that went some.

 

Alice Yes, like shit off a shovel. I was stood up just in front of the console, holding onto the painter. Y’know, the rope off the front that is attached to the bow. I was leaning back and so the rope was tight and I was bending my knees as the boat bounced up and down – a bit like mogul skiing. We were doing about 30 knots. Then a ferry wake came out of nowhere and the boat skipper didn’t see it. The boat took off and the painter acted like a pendulum and it swung me up into the air. As I came down I went over on my ankle and clean snapped it. I felt it go. I knew instantly that I had broken it so I lay on the floor of the boat and rested it on the sponsons – the rubber inflatable tubes on the side of the boat. For some reason all I could think about was my first aid training. Bam – that’s it leg broken. So Stasia set me up on this blind date with you to make me feel better.

 

Alice smiles shyly and leans forward looking at the door

 

Alice I can’t believe that those two ran out on me like that. I am so embarrassed.

 

Hagar It’s so good to meet you at last. I loved it when we talked on the phone. You know you have a really sexy voice. It’s so cool that you are so adventurous. I love that. I have had the best week just cruising around Scotland on my bike, visiting my old haunts and hanging out with my buddies and then to top off I have this crazy blind date with you. It’s great. Last week, that night, when we chatted on the phone, I hadn’t seen Stasia since we split up after our trip to Australia together 10 years ago.

 

It’s been an awesome week off. But I am gutted that I have to get back to Northern Ireland tomorrow night.

 

Alice Stasia said you and her went out with each other.

 

Hagar Yeah at school. After Highers we went to Australia together. We worked at a vineyard and then flew back via Bali. They were good times but we drifted apart when I moved to Edinburgh and started uni at Napier. I was so chuffed when she rang me. I hadn’t heard from her in years.

 

Alice So Stasia says that you are in the army and you’re a helicopter pilot.

 

Hagar No, I am not in the army, I am the RAF – the Royal Air Force. I am navigator on Pumas.

 

Alice A what on whats?

 

Hagar A Puma is a type of helicopter and it has two seats in the cockpit. One for the pilot and one for the navigator. I am the navigator and I tell the pilot where to go.

 

Alice My grandad was in the RAF in the war. He was a gunner. Apparently, they had a low life expectancy, but according to my dad, grandad spent most of his RAF career in the brig pissed up. I am not even sure if that is strictly true though!

 

Hagar It wasn’t a great job that’s for sure.

 

Alice It must be pretty tricky in Northern Ireland? What’s that like?

 

Hagar It’s great. There’s a ceasefire at the moment so it’s fairly routine but down south it can be more dangerous. I have a decent room in the Officer’s mess. It’s a shared ensuite with another guy, my mate, Moonie. He’s called Dave Moon but we call him, Moonie. It’s 21 days on and then we get 7 days off. We get some free flights home and BMI airlines do a military discount on flights, so that we can get back to the mainland cheap and easy. But I have just bought a bike so I caught the ferry over and thought I’d put it through it’s paces on a road trip around Scotland. My parents live in Aberfeldy so I needed to go and visit them and I haven’t spent much time in Scotland recently. I used to live in Edinburgh so it’s good to be back.

 

Alice I love Edinburgh. I think it’s my favourite city in the whole world.

 

Hagar I love Edinburgh too.

 

Alice Are you one of those Scottish folk who hate the English?

 

Hagar laughs loudly Well, I work for the Queen. She’s my boss. The Government may pay my wages but it’s the Queen’s name on my commission.

 

Alice I used to go out with a Scottish bloke called Hamish. It was when I was with him that I first came to Edinburgh. Do you remember in 1990 when Scotland won the Five Nations, The Triple Crown and the Calcutta Cup against England in the final game of the tournament at Murrayfield. Well, I was in Edinburgh watching that match. It was a very unfortunate time to be a lone English girl in Edinburgh. The racism that I experienced was unbelievable. For a start I could be less bothered about rugby so I watched it because Hamish wanted to and I didn’t know anyone else. Then, of course, because I was so ignorant and naïve I just assumed that Scotland was a part of England.

 

Hagar winces visibly

 

This blog is managed by Clare Macnaughton; a modern military mother; a feminist, British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.

 

 

 

 

 

The post Mercury in Retrograde Ends Friday #WritersUnite appeared first on Modern Military Mother .

Competition The Best Blanket Fort In Britain #blanketfortcomp @MarketFurniture

The Furniture Market are running a competition and you can win either:

- tickets to top attractions within the UK
- love2Shop vouchers worth £100

Either tap into your inner big kid or get your children to showcase their blanket fort building skills and then share your homemade blanket forts on social media.


How to enter the Britain’s Best Blanket Fort Competition
- Build a fort

- Take a picture

- Post the picture on social media using hashtag #BlanketFortComp and tag @MarketFurniture

So as Blighty was being battered by storms, we were snug as a bug in a rug in the warmth of our blanket fort. This is a great fun wet weather activity.

Here’s how we did it!

Step 1 – clear sofa and collect extra chairs

Step 2 – position chairs and cushions and then jump on sofa

 

Step 3 – cover with blanket or throw

Step 4 – hide inside and demand snacks!

Don’t forget:

How to enter the Britain’s Best Blanket Fort Competition

- Build a fort

- Take a picture

- Post the picture on social media using hashtag #BlanketFortComp and tag @MarketFurniture

 

 

The post Competition The Best Blanket Fort In Britain #blanketfortcomp @MarketFurniture appeared first on Modern Military Mother .

What activities can help elderly stay healthy?

A loss or reduction in mobility is often experienced as we age. A lack of movement combined with a variety of age-related ailments can make many feel lethargic, achy and old before their time. However, there is a solution to this and indulging in a variety of activities can ensure a sharp mind and a strong body.

Here we look at a few examples.

Thai Chi and yoga

Both of these exercises are extremely popular with the elderly. They not only have a proven success rate, they also work the muscles of the entire body through a series of stretches and specialist moves.

Aside from strengthening and conditioning muscles, Thai Chi and yoga also improve balance and circulation as well as the participants overall general health.

Walking

Both opting for a regular stroll around the garden or further afield will help you to feel fitter, younger and more vital. Even if you’re unable to comfortable mount stairs and require the aid of the likes of a reconditioned stairlift, walking on flat land is more than likely a possibility.

Swimming

Swimming is another exercise that works all of the muscles in the body in a gentle way. A few lengths in the local swimming pool a day will not only boost energy levels, it will also keep the heart rate high thus promoting weight loss.

Golf

Joining a golf club is not only a great way to meet new people; it’s also a great way to exercise in the outdoors. Simply being outside in the fresh air has a number of health benefits.

Computer games

Many elderly individuals are now choosing to become tech-savvy. Aside from using the internet as a means of staying in touch with friends and family around the globe, there are a number of brain games available online – all of which have been designed to keep your mind active.

Card games

Just as physical exercise is important, so is mental exercise. Keeping your mind sharp will ensure a better memory and will help to stop the effects of Alzheimer’s and dementia. Getting together with a group of friends at least once a week to play a few hands of cards is a good way to do this.

Aqua aerobics

Aerobics may seem like a hard impact exercise, yet aqua aerobics is somewhat different. Many gyms will hold sessions throughout the week often held by an instructor and completed in time to music. The pressure of the water ensures a more gentle exercise but the activity will still keep the heart rate high so that you get a decent workout with reduced risk of injury.

By staying active for as long as possible, many are able to prevent or at least postpone a number of age-related ailments – even if you’re a late starter.

If you suffer from joint problems, there are a number of gentle exercises available, all of which boast to make you feel fitter and younger. It’s important to indulge in such exercises at least three times a week in order to ensure results.

The post What activities can help elderly stay healthy? appeared first on Modern Military Mother .

GUILT-RIDDEN, TORN BETWEEN TWO ROLES AND OVER-LOOKED -The current state-of-mind of working mums today

GUILT-RIDDEN, TORN BETWEEN TWO ROLES AND OVER-LOOKED -The current state-of-mind of working mums today

*Over three quarters (80%) of women feel guilty about going back to work and worry about leaving their child in the care of others compared with just 39% of men.

*Childcare responsibilities still fall on the mother’s shoulders, even when both parents are working.

*A fifth of dads (20%) say they wished they hadn’t gone back to work after having a family, saying they wished they could have looked after their child while over a third (37%) of men say they work full time with NO flexibility at all.

New research into the state of mind of working parents in the UK has found that we are a nation divided with women battling to find a healthy work-life balance, taking on the majority of childcare responsibilities while not at work. The research, undertaken for The Work & Family Show which is due to take place for the first time on 21st and 22nd February, found that over three quarters of women (80%) feel guilty about going back to work after having a family. Men, on the other hand, are relatively confident about returning to their jobs with just 39% feeling guilty about leaving their children in childcare.

The biggest concern for more than 35% of women was not having the help or understanding from their employer when dealing with the difficult transition from working woman to working mum. They also worried that their employers would be discriminatory towards them, entrusting them with responsibility and fewer big projects.

One mum who struggled to return to work after having a baby is 31 year old Leah McGrath. She returned to her role as an HR Service Manager at a large agra-pharmaceutical company after a year at home with her daughter. The plan was for Leah to do a job share but this fell through and she found herself fitting in a full time job into her contracted three days a week. She says: “I was finding it such a struggle, commuting three hours, three days a week, and trying my best to be a good mum. I was getting ill all the time; whenever there was a virus going around, I would catch it as I was so run down and my little girl’s behaviour was becoming very challenging. After a while I realised there must be more to life and resigned. It was extremely scary but I am so pleased I did.” Leah has since re-trained as a yoga teacher, running her own Yogabellies franchise, teaching pre-natal, post-natal and baby massage classes in her local wellbeing and community centres. She has managed to get a healthy work-life balance and work flexibly but only by leaving her past career behind her.

Ben Black, Director of MyFamilyCare.co.uk who, together with Clarion Events, are organising The Work & Family Show says: “Due to the lack of support from their employers on returning to work, women often feel forced to give up the careers they have trained and worked so hard for in order to fit in their new role of motherhood. However, it shouldn’t be like this. Staff need to be supported as they return to work and deal with the challenges that being a working parent can bring. Employers who respond to their needs will be rewarded with engaged, productive and loyal employees.”

The research also asked fathers how they felt about the transition from working man to working dad. More than a third (37%) said they returned to work and received no flexibility at all. One in five, meanwhile, said they wished they had never gone back to work at all, wishing they could take on the full-time role of child carer.

Ben Black continues: “So many big companies like Barclays, Discovery Channel and Rolls Royce have made big improvements to their policies to help their parents who work, but these results show there’s a huge deficit. Women shouldn’t feel restricted in work when they become a mother and a man’s role in bringing up a child has evolved so much in the past 30 years and it’s time that businesses recognise this too.”

The Work & Family Show has been born out of the high demand from families in need of help when returning to work or starting up their own business. Jenny Willott, Minister for Employment Relations and Consumer Affairs, will introduce the show while inspirational experts and employers on the lookout for motivated staff will be on hand to give working parents and career break women access to practical advice. Organised by Clarion Events and My Family Care, it takes place on Friday 21st and Saturday 22nd February 2014 at the ExCeL London. Tickets are available from www.theworkandfamilyshow.co.uk from just £12, and people coming to the neighbouring Baby Show will have free entrance*.

Notes from the editor

This blog is managed by Clare Macnaughton is a modern military mother; a feminist British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.

email: amodernmilitarymother@gmail.com

Audio Book

About A Modern Military Mother

The post GUILT-RIDDEN, TORN BETWEEN TWO ROLES AND OVER-LOOKED -The current state-of-mind of working mums today appeared first on Modern Military Mother .

Real Life – The Tipping point Yo!

Today, I reached a tipping point. January 2014 is nearly done and dusted. 2014 lies ahead. Last week, I nearly threw in the towel on the my beloved book – A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline. I doubted myself. The naysayers were winning. Is it worth it? What am I doing? I am still really struggling to deal with the stress of the past. I feel like Atlas and the burden of the past is the weight of the earth on my back. This is the truth. The book sometimes feels like a gateway backwards and not the road forwards. I am living my dream, but keeping it alive in the face adversity feels like another battle.

I have exhausted my immediate audience with the book and now need to reach out beyond my community. Self publishing is difficult because I don’t have the distribution channels to get the book into bookshops. This is where having a traditional publishing deal has it’s advantages as they have the means to get a book into the bookshops. However, even after this has been achieved, the author has to fight for the book to reach out to audiences.

With the advent of the audio visual age, with multiple TV channels, gaming, IPTV, social media, smart phones and tablets, I am certain reading books is in decline. So I have to take a big deep breath and start plugging away time and time again. Sometimes, the shameless self-publicising grates on me, like nails down a blackboard, but what choice do I have? I have to take it one book sale at a time and I can’t give up on it. Nobody is going to fight for my book as hard as I will. In a way it’s like another child so just as I will always support my children, I have got my book’s back as well.

Onwards and upwards. I’ll take all the help I can get. So if you have read it and loved then please help me promote it. Please spread the world and share the love. Please start the discussion on Goodreads, or buy it as a gift for someone who you think may like it. Please support me, the independent author, trying to forge ahead in the world of self publishing. I need a break. I really need a break. Will someone please cut me a frickin’ break? Yo!

And if you haven’t bought the book yet – then please buy and review it. A book without an audience now where’s the fun in that?

Audio Book

About A Modern Military Mother

Clare Macnaughton is a modern military mother; a feminist British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.

 

 

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Lazy Days By The Pool – 10% #EarlyBirdDiscount Summer Holidays France

Introducing our Finest package and 10% #EarlyBirdDiscount

Rain, rain go away. The end. Are you sick to death of this soggy winter? Are you looking to summer to lift your spirits? Are you looking for a family friendly villa holiday? Then look no further than Le Petit Pre in the Haute Vienne, Limousin, France. We are offering 10% #EarlyBirdDiscount for your summer holiday 2014 in France.

It’s a privately owned four bedroom villa, which sleeps up to 8 people. There’s private pool, al fresco dining deck and lounge equipped with a pot bellied Oz Pig burner, BBQ and outdoor kitchen.

Kids love to hang out and burn off energy on the 14 ft trampoline, or by playing in the children’s play area, or even at the basketball net, or at the table tennis table. That’s, of course, when they are done with spending all day in the pool.

Kids love playing in the pool

Did I mention petanque? We also offer Sky Freeview and FREE wifi. And just in case you missed it – we are offering 10% #EarlyBirdDiscount for your summer holiday 2014 in France.

We have been letting the property for 10 years now and we began by letting to Dutch holidaymakers who liked to bring their own linen on holiday. Last year we successfully trialled a two package offer – Basics – bring-your-own-linen and Finest, we supply the linen and make up the beds. We are pleased to continue our Finest offer for 2014.

The Finest package includes all linen, towels, including pool towels, a welcome hamper with basic essentials and the cleaning charge included in the price of your holiday.

A little snack to recharge your batteries

This year we are offering an early bird discount of 10% on both packages.

Simply email: clare@maccom.co.uk with #EarlyBirdDiscount in the subject line of the email and confirm your booking by the 28th Feb 2014.

For more information, please visit our Owners Direct web page:

http://www.ownersdirect.co.uk/france/FR4420.htm

Feel free to email or call me, Clare, for more information.

Contact:

clare@maccom.co.uk

m: +44 (0)7885 194188

Don’t forget we are offering 10% #EarlyBirdDiscount for your summer holiday 2014 in France.

Clare Macnaughton is a modern military mother; a feminist British military spouse and lifestyle journalist writing about real life adventures.

The post Lazy Days By The Pool – 10% #EarlyBirdDiscount Summer Holidays France appeared first on Modern Military Mother .

Real Life #SavetheNHS Britain needs you!! Appendicitis and The Grenade

The first time I realised how lucky we were to have the NHS was when I broke my leg unexpectedly at the age of 24. I was freelancing in PR and living hand-to-mouth. I was taken to hospital by ambulance, operated on, treated and given a follow up treatment for over a year. It was incredible. The NHS was a gift. Last week, I had another occasion to be grateful for our all hallowed NHS when my son came home from school, green around the gills and complaining of stomach ache. I had received a call earlier in the day saying that he had complained of nausea, but seemed quite chipper so they would keep an eye on him. As I lay him on the sofa, with a glass of full fat coca cola (because it kills all known stomach bugs) he grumbled when he moved his legs. This was a big indicator for me that he may have appendicitis, so I immediately booked him an emergency doctor’s appointment.

An hour later, following a medical examination from his doctor, I was advised that he was to be admitted to our local hospital with suspected appendicitis. Equipped with a doctor’s note, we were seen immediately at an A&E by the triage nurse, who failed to answer the question, “why did the Big Bang give human’s an appendix if they serve no purpose?” and then admitted to the pediatric ward. On this ward the nursing team fitted a canula to his hand and his bloods were taken. His temperature, blood pressure and pulse were all giving indicators of a mild infection. The Grenade, who is 10 years old, needless to say, was terrified that he was going to have to an operation and tried his damnedest to will that appendix better. Reassuring any doctor that cared to listen that he was feeling much better and then asking “what’s your favourite dinosaur?” as a cunning method of distraction.

We were in Odstock Hospital, Salisbury and residents, overnight of the Sarum Ward. It was fantastic. We were very lucky to be in a two patient room. Each patient bed, had  aside a pull down bed with a proper mattress for the attending parent. There was an ensuite bathroom with multi-coloured lights. The children’s facilities were excellent with portable DVDs, Wii and PS2. As a parent, I was impressed, but The Grenade instantly went into wi-fi withdrawal. “What no internet?” he cried. I had to point out it was a hospital not a hotel. Hagar arrived with a bag of belongings, leaving the Menace under the care of a neighbourly neighbour.

As we settled in for the night, there was another round of doctors. One doctor asked The Grenade, “when did you last move your bowel?”.

“I am sorry, I don’t understand what you mean.” He replied.

“She means, when did you last have a poo?” I whispered. He looked at the doctor with earnest eyes and said, “there’s no shame in asking someone when they had a poo you know.”

Eventually, it was agreed that we would wait until the morning. The Grenade slept soundly and I slept occasionally. It was a night of crying babies and buzzers. In the morning the pediatrician consultant arrived and despite The Grenade’s persuasive arguments about his improved state of health there was no escaping the entire body twitch that he gave when his abdomen was pressed. I suspect they knew all along those bad boys were coming out. From the moment of decision to operate things moved very quickly. Within half an hour, he was on a trolley being wheeled into theatre. We kept his mind off the future and he talked freely to the porter about all the inappropriate films he had watched without my consent. *Note to self, reset all parental controls.

I said to the porter, “from here I am just going to hand myself into child services.” Cue, awkward laugh, “ha ha ha!”

The men and women in all over green cotton and neck masks met us and jovially we chatted about Ben’s procedure. He was awash with questions. Those dudes were not going to get off lightly, he wanted to know everything. In the alabaster pre-op room of beeping buttons, digital screens, cabinets and medicine, he was very clear that he required step by step instructions of sleep inducement. I held his hand and watched as they put my baby to sleep, not flinching, feeling sick inside, but laughing lightly and re-iterating that everything was going to be ok. This is just how it rolls. As he drifted off, the anesthetist looked up, “right, we are ready, give him a kiss and we’ll let you know when to come back.” I duly did as I was told and I bent down and kissed my beautiful boy on the forehead and inside the fear engulfed me, but I choked it down and walked back to the ward. I sat in the chair by his bed and waited. They had said 45 minutes and the clock watching began. TICK TOCK.

10 minutes later I tidied the bed area, re-arranged the bag and Hagar arrived. He was oblivious to where I was. He has faith in the services because he is of the services. I have faith in the services, but I had just watched my beautiful boy’s eyes close on an operating trolley and I was laced with fear and sickness. I was waiting. Tick Tock. 45 minutes passed and there was no news. My wait limit had expired and yet, I knew rationally, that this was not unusual. Time divided and every minute that passed doubled. I began to replay the last 24 hours. Had I made the right calls? Could I have done anything differently? On scrutinised examination I knew that I hadn’t wasted a minute. After an hour and half, I couldn’t bear it any longer I sent Hagar to the desk to inquire. They reassured him that the  aforementioned 45 minutes was time in theatre and it was not an exact science. TICK TOCK.

And then, after the longest two hours of my life, the nurse asked me if would like to go back to the surgery ward. “Yes, I would,” I said, with a resounded response.

There he lay, on the bed in the post-op ward, with a matronly nurse next to him, was my boy, all puffy faced and sleepy. He was pleased to see me, but wondering what took me so long and he was a bit miffed that I wasn’t there when he opened his eyes. But he was awake and that was all that mattered in the then and there. The anesthetist popped in and said, “he had mild appendicitis. It needed to come out.” I breathed a huge sigh of relief, it had been worth it. We had made the right calls. Now it was back to his ward to begin the recovery and eventually home.

Footnote:

The Grenade had keyhole surgery which means one week on, he is back at school. I would like to thank the Odstock medical team as they were amazing.

The NHS is our greatest asset, we must not let the Tory NHS reforms dismantle this service.

Without the NHS this would have cost us between £12,000 – £15,000 – obviously there are insurance plans, but the reality is like all insurance it would not cover the whole cost. Look at the cost of dentistry as a living example of your medical future.

 

All it will mean is that the wealthy stay healthy and the poor will die.

BRITAIN PLEASE FIGHT FOR THE NHS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Featured Post: Shoes That Tone Your Legs and Butt as You Walk

I love my Fitflops. I know I am not alone and that I have many friends who also love their Fitlops too. I have them in a variety of styles – I have a standard Fitflop, a soft boot and a suede boot. In fact, with the summer around the corner (well, maybe, it could be. The longest night has passed.) I am already thinking about which Fitflops I am going to buy this summer because they come in a variety of shades and sparkles. I was initially seduced by the notion that the Fitflop toned your legs and your butt while you walked.

Could this be true? What a fantabulous concept, toning with every step. This is, of course, what lured me, and many a women, to try the Fitflop range; but the reality is when you actually wear them they are the most comfortable shoes in the world and you don’t look like an old granny! Although it is a sign of ageing when you judge a shoe not by it’s style factor, but instead by it’s comfort factor. The added of advantage of the Fitflop range is that they do have within the range plain, sporty and sparkly shoes, boots and the classic flip flop. Are Fitflops a nana shoe? Or they just chunky but funky? Am I having a mid life crisis because I choose comfort over pain. I think women who wear killer heels deserve a medal for tenacity and endurance – give me a comfy cushioned sole any day. I have friends who are Fitflop converts and we delight at how much we love them and how comfy they are. I know we should get out more.

When I was younger I could sleep anywhere and rough it but now old age is setting in and I do like a bit luxury and comfort. I am too old to couch surf these days and it’s has to be a SPECIAL occasion to get me into those killer heels. (I am waiting for my Oscars invite – ahem, anyone?) But for me, my everyday footwear for school runs, housework and summer schlepping is my Fitlop boots, shoes and sandals . I am definitley convert with, or without, the tighter cheeks. Are you a Fitflop lover too?

Just in case you were wondering – those are not my legs!

 

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Guest Post: Five top tips for restoring order to your home

Christmas may have come and gone, but the whirlwind of the festive season is bound to have left a path of destruction behind it. With guests coming in and out, toys strewn across every floor, old clothes thrown out in favour of new ones, it can often resemble a battlefield, rather than a home.

Instead of getting bogged down with the winter blues, why not spend January restoring order to your home? These top five tips will help you restore some order to your home and in turn, make you focus more on yourself in the future.

Set aside a block of time

If you are planning to sort out your house in between feeding the kids and tonight’s instalment of Emmerdale, stop now. This level of organisation requires plenty of attention and it’s easy to get overwhelmed, so the first step is to set a decent amount of time to get the work done.

Stop rearranging

Unless you have a clear idea of why your stuff keeps getting backed up it is pointless rearranging, as in just a few days, weeks or months, the same thing will happen again. Tidying up is generally only any good for the short term, perhaps you have unexpected guests or your parents are popping around for a cuppa – that kind of thing.

Look objectively

If you want to really restore order, you need to look at why particular spaces end up clogged with stuff. Is your fridge door littered with post-it notes? Are you always tripping over shoes in the hallway? Is your coffee table covered in newspapers and magazines? Once you have identified the problems, you can work on rectifying them – buy a magnetic notepad for the fridge, a shoe rack for the hallway and a magazine rack for the living room.

Do those ‘odd jobs’

Every household has them, the jobs that have been started and never finished, or those that simply been postponed indefinitely. It might be the sealant around the bath or sash windows repairs. Whatever it is, draw up a schedule to get them done.

Donate unwanted items

As you start to clear the clutter taking over your home, you’ll need somewhere to put all the stuff you don’t want. Unless it’s broken, you could donate it charity – remember one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

 

 

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