Sara Raasch's Blog, page 75

I’ve been dreading this post, and I almost wasn’t going to say...

I’ve been dreading this post, and I almost wasn’t going to say anything. But. It might be cathartic. I hope it’ll be cathartic. Here we go.

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Due to many really shitty, heartbreaking reasons, we had to return Aja to the breeder on Tuesday. She’s fine (perfectly healthy and doing all the rambunctious, bouncy things puppies are supposed to do); but in the few days we had her, it became quickly apparent that we were not the right home for her.

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I spent most of Monday either on the verge of tears, crying, or holding her and staring in a daze. I never wanted to be one of those people who bought a puppy and immediately went “NOPE” and chucked it away—and this emotion damn near ate me alive. But I keep telling myself: I’m NOT one of those people. I DIDN’T chuck her away. I gave her back to a safe, healthy home, in the hands of a fully capable breeder with generations of experience raising strong dogs. I made the (admittedly gutting) decision to actually remove her from an unsuitable home (mine) and place her somewhere better (with the breeder, who will find her the perfect home).

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But tonight, I was doing laundry, and came across the blankets, towels, and pillows I’d bought for her. And all the shittiness of giving her back smacked into me all over again. Did I do the right thing? Should I have tried harder? Maybe I should’ve just sucked it up and figured it out—to the detriment of both Aja, myself, and my family?

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As awful as this week has been, I’m trying not to let myself spiral in questions like that. Sometimes it’s impossibly hard to make decisions that protect yourself, even if they also benefit other parties. I always have a kick of guilt (okay, a whole goddamn tidal wave of guilt) when terrible decisions bring about something positive for me, even if in the long run. Like I brought it upon myself, so I deserve to suffer.

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But that’s so far from the truth. It’s okay to protect yourself. It’s okay to make hard decisions that result in your favor. It’s okay to be kind to yourself.

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Someday, our home will be equipped for a dog. Someday, our lives will be conducive to a new addition.

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And someday, much sooner, Aja will find the family that’s right for her.

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PUPPY PHOTO ATTACKUnfollow now if you don’t want five thousand...

PUPPY PHOTO ATTACK

Unfollow now if you don’t want five thousand puppy photos this year

Tho honestly if you don’t what’s wrong with you

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My word for 2018 was “will” — going into 2019, I’ve picked a...

My word for 2018 was “will” — going into 2019, I’ve picked a word that encapsulates what I’ve spent the latter months of 2018 trying to achieve: balance.

Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. In career and daily life. I’d like to find a stress-relieving hobby; I’d like a workout routine that doesn’t fill me with dread; I’d like to get back to the kind of stories I love to tell and read, but got away from for various negative reasons; I’d like to be happier, consistently, in every aspect of life.

These aren’t goals, necessarily, because I’d also like to be kinder to myself. They’re more…hopes.

Hope is a good word for 2019, too.

What is your word for the new year?

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Lurking in my bookshelf. Sparking with enticing impatience. “You...

Lurking in my bookshelf. Sparking with enticing impatience. “You waited too long to read me,” she says. “Now, I will destroy you.”

(If you haven’t yet read THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT, might I suggest you spend your holiday gift cards on it? Cuz the sequel is out now and I know imma need someone to scream at when I’m done.) #bookstagram #toread

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Happy New Year, I’ve lost my mind.Brace for nonstop puppy pics...

Happy New Year, I’ve lost my mind.

Brace for nonstop puppy pics come 2019, when this little girl joins my family. For now, meet Aja, the runt of her litter, who is just too tiny and precious and my heart is a pancake of melted goo.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Br-h_OEneyW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2waz4fjzs3nz

THESE REBEL WAVES’ first ebook sale started last week, and I...

THESE REBEL WAVES’ first ebook sale started last week, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. This book has given me a lot of emotions this year (not all of them good…I talked about some of my doubts on instastories awhile back), so when this sale kicked off, I was thankful it coincided with the crazy busy Christmas season, and I wouldn’t have time to obsessively check the ranking.

But I’m home now, and I thought, “Eh, what the hell?” Only to find that, yet again, you lovelies have exceeded all my expectations.

Thank you for believing in me, even when I have trouble believing in myself.

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Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!

Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!

Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!

Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!

Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!

Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!

Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!

Happy Holidays, Winterians and Crewmembers!