Katherine Villyard's Blog, page 2

Kosher 101

Disclaimer: I am not an expert. I’m an enthusiastic amateur. When in doubt, please ask your Rabbi (or your Rabbi’s spouse). Also, if I’m getting anything wrong, please correct me in the comments! (Also I am Masorti rather than Orthodox, again, your Rabbi and your specific halachim know better than I do!)

I get questions sometimes with my book–the most recent being “If a Rabbi blessed the blood before the vampire drank it, would it be kosher?” Unfortunately, no.

So, for a food to be kosher (literally “proper” or “fit”), it needs to

Come from a plant or a kosher animal (or be something like milk or eggs of a kosher animal, or honey) If it is meat from an animal, the animal must have been killed in a humane way (there are rules) It must not contain any bloodIt must be prepared in a kosher wayMixtures of milk and meat are forbidden

So, let’s break that down.

Come from a plant: All whole fruits and vegetables are kosher. Do examine them closely to make sure you’re not accidentally eating bugs (ew).

Come from a kosher animal: This is where people start to find it confusing, but there’s a list of dos and don’ts in the Bible. If you’d like the list rendered in hootenany song, check out this video. But it’s basically:

Land animals:Any animal with cloven hooves that chews its cud is okay, soYes examples: Cows, sheeep, goatsNo examples: Pigs, rabbits, skunks, hedgehogs…Water animals:Any thing with fins and scales, so:Yes examples: salmon, trout, tunaNo examples: crab, shrimp, octopus, squidBird (and bird-like?) animalsGenerally, if it’s not a bird of prey, it’s okayYes examples: Chicken, turkeyNo examples: Bats, vultures, American bald eaglesBugsMost are forbidden, there are a couple that are okay that have been lost to the mists of time because no one wants to eat bugs anywayNope!Things that creep around on the ground, like snakes and wormsNope nope nopeNope!

Milk from approved land animals and eggs from approved birds are fine. Just don’t mix that milk with meat.

Kosher slaughter: There are rules–the knife must be very sharp, it must be discarded if there is a nick in it, the goal is for the animal to pass out immediately… but I’m a vegetarian and this topic makes me uncomfortable. That said, it’s strictly forbidden to do things like chop an animal’s leg off and eat it and leave the poor animal to suffer on three legs. Nothing cut off a living animal.

Must not contain blood: This is serious business, you guys. Leviticus 17:10-12 is emphatic. “The blood is the life,” and the life is for G-d. Jews are usually pretty chill about what their neighbors are eating, but Leviticus says to not let your non-Jewish neighbors drink blood, either. Pretty inconvenient for any friendly neighborhood vampires. ���� So meat is soaked and salted to remove any blood before it’s cooked (usually before it’s sold in the US), and you don’t just crack an egg into your mixing bowl, you crack it into a cup and look for blood. NO BLOOD.

Prepared in a kosher way: If you take your kosher hot dogs and put them in a pan that was previously used to make pork chops or beef stroganoff, they are no longer kosher. Yes, your dishes and utensils and pots and pans also have to be kosher. It’s a thing. Most Orthodox mikvehs have a place to kasher (make kosher) your dishes and pans, but less strict folks just buy new. Workarounds include:

Salads prepared in a brand new plastic tupperware container (that’s only used for kosher food henceforth)Oven meals prepared in disposable foil pansWrapping the food in foil before cooking itEggs come in their own kosher wrapper. You can hard-boil them in any pan. Eating your fruits and veggies raw and whole is always okay. Please don’t chop them up with a knife previously used on pork chops. If you’re keeping kosher, you have two sets of pans–one for milk and one for meat. Yes, seriously. Be a vegetarian, it’s easier. ���� Do not make mac and cheese in your beef stew pan, that is not kosher even if the beef, the cheese, etc., were all kosher. This leads us neatly into:

Mixing milk and meat: This is mentioned not once but THREE TIMES in the Bible, and in the days before the printing press when books were written by hand, this was considered a sign of being very important. “Do not seethe a kid in its mother’s milk.” Some people think this was a pagan ritual? But it’s a no-no. So:

I can not haz cheeseburger (sorry)No Beef Stroganoff or Swedish MeatballsYou can’t even have a chicken and cheese sandwich, even though chickens are not mammalsSeparate dishes, pots, pans, eating utensilsSome people wait a number of hours between a milk and a meat meal (It has been decades since my last meat meal so I’m not concerned!)Do not chop up cheese with your meat knife

You do see workarounds like Beef Stroganoff made with coconut milk instead of dairy, or Impossible veggie burgers with cheese. Again, I’m a vegetarian anyway, but this is the point where some folks nope out. ����

The separate utensils thing: glass is exempt! Some people have glass dishes. Some very strict people consider glass dishes to be “cheating” and disapprove. The idea is that if a thing is considered porous (I know, I know, metal pots and pans, but you know… handles? food residue?) it must be kept separated. It goes all the way to separate fridges in strict households. If you’re not that strict, at the very least don’t pile an open kosher hot dog package on top of your cheese (ew). Wrap it in plastic and set it on the other side of the shelf.

Fruits, vegetables, and eggs are considered neither and you don’t need to worry about mixing them with your meat or your milk. Yay!

The separate utensils thing is also why when you see kosher restaurants, they are either a “milk” restaurant or a “meat” restaurant. Honestly, this is super helpful if you have other food issues, or are vegetarian or vegan. Lactose intolerant? You’re pretty much guaranteed to not get any dairy at a kosher “meat” restaurant. (You might find fish at the vegetarian restaurant, because fish don’t have red blood so they’re not considered “meat.” Alas… but convenient if you’re just trying to avoid red meat.)

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Countries where I have sold books!

I plan to update this when I get new reports, but… via TravelMapCreator…

AustraliaBelarusCanadaGermanyIndiaNew ZealandUnited KingdomUnited States of America

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On drinking, etc.

Scalzi linked to his post on why he doesn’t drink or do drugs here. His daughter Athena recently posted on the subject as well.

Disclaimer: I enjoy the occasional beer or glass of wine!

Unlike John, my parents were not in recovery. My mother did not have a drinking problem! She just hid half-drunk jugs of wine and vodka in random places around the house and sent her underaged daughter (me) out to buy her more wine because it’s not safe for her to go out and get more after she’s downed an entire bottle by herself! Yes, I illegally bought alcohol as a teen… for my mother.

My mother had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, one that (infuriatingly) she asked for help with more than once. She had a brief stint of Valium abuse when my sister and I were babies, and also asked for help after her divorce and was allegedly told by a doctor, “I don’t like prescribing that stuff. If you’re tense and nervous, why don’t you and your teenaged daughter share a bottle of wine every night?” (Meaning my sister; I was living with my father at the time.) Assuming this is true–alcoholics often have a bad relationship with the truth–it’s possible that doctor killed her. Her death certificate lists “chronic alcoholism” as a cause of death, which, by the way, is kind of a shitty thing to do to their descendants, as you have to present that certificate over and over again and people try to keep neutral professional faces and fail. The bank lady all but sneered at us, radiating disapproval. One woman at the Georgia Department of Motor Vehicles was so upset that her hands shook and she completely screwed up my vehicle registration, leading to me being pulled over as a car thief. But apparently the state of New Mexico was trying to “raise awareness” or something. Cool.

My father didn’t have “a drinking problem,” he just consumed a large water tumbler of Scotch every night until he and my mother broke up and then he quit cold turkey. Mayyyyybe a small glass of wine with dinner for a special occasion.

I also remember my sister having loud, dramatic showdowns, demanding Mom stop drinking and then walking out to sleep on the apartment floor of a woman who wouldn’t let her store her food in the fridge. I… went with the flow, and therefore was actually surprised by the death certificate despite things like opening the linen closet to look for a fresh towel and finding a five gallon jug of wine tucked behind the towels, half-consumed. Or the time she got so drunk we had to physically restrain her from going to work in that state. (I called in sick for her.)

Mom would hate that this story is about her: Underworld. I’ll hasten to say that she did not date married men (she would be horrified for you to think that). That said, DIONysus is the God of Wine, and had to go into the Underworld to rescue his mother. Also, there is some unhealthy alcohol use in Immortal Gifts, but apparently vampirism prevents alcoholism, or something. (It’s kind of a cure-all in my universe, a sort of super-aggressive immune system that even cures aging, so that’s not surprising.)

So, uh. Sure. Buy me a beer. But–fortunately or unfortunately–not when I’m sad. It feels fine while I’m still under the influence, but the next morning all those un-coped-with feelings are like an avalanche holding me down in the bed, where I wish I could just decompose, and curse the cruel deity that caused me to survive the night. (I’m not talking about hangovers! I’m talking about waking up plagued with intrusive suicidal thoughts and black sadness that dissipate as I actually deal with the problem instead.) Special happy occasions only.

Review Team

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The advantage is that you get to read all my books, for free, before anyone else. The disadvantage is that I'm hoping you'll be reading in exchange for an honest review. :D

If you're interested, click here: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/6yxtex90l9

Link Roundup

I was interviewed by IndieReader! Get the answers to burning questions such as “what inspired you to write Immortal Gifts?” and “Do you have any advice for your fellow Indies?” (Of course I do! Shall I take them naming the post after my advice as an endorsement? ���� )

Immortal Gifts was reviewed by Donovan Literary Services. I feel like this reviewer really understood what I was trying to do with my book. Excellent!!!

I was also reviewed by Talisien Meets the Vampires. Very cool!

On February 4, Amazon had my book at #6 in Historical Fantasy!

Also, Barnes and Noble had my book listed as a bestseller!

SQUEE!!!

Elisa Hansen, aka The Maven of the Eventide, has a new video out and she has MY BOOK!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfz34...

By the way, she's AMAZING and you should subscribe to her YouTube channels!

How do Indie authors get reviews?

Short answer: How much money do you have? ����

Long answer: There are lots of places to get reviews for your book! even if you’re self-published.

Editorial reviews: There are some big names from the traditional publishing world that will happily review your book for, like $500. If you are made of money and willing to spend $500 for an ego massage and validation, go ahead! I got these for my first book and they made me feel really good about myself, but they didn’t sell books. That said, they’re not worthless, the editors are professionals who know how to turn a nice phrase and you can pull quotes out of the reviews for your marketing. Look for free options, or options that won’t break the bank. Fair disclosure: a lot of these places will review books for free if one of their reviewers WANTS to, but if you want to guarantee a review you need to grease a palm. Decide what you think is reasonable, and do not blow your entire marketing budget on this. (Say, decide one under $150 is reasonable, or one under $75 is reasonable.) These generally do not sell books on KDP and even if you have a brick and mortar strategy, don’t go broke doing this. I sent out a lot of free copies that didn’t get reviewed, FWIW.ARC Services. ARC stands for Advance Review Copy. The idea is you give people a free copy and they give you an honest review. This is standard practice in the traditional publishing world, and is totally legit (as long as it’s an honest review–no “I’ll give you a free copy if you give me five stars” business). Also, as the word “Advance” implies, these are more effective before launch. Here are the ones I used for Immortal Gifts:NetGalley: This is a big deal in the traditional publishing world. It’s also super pricey; find a co-op or writer’s organization to get a better deal. The people who download your book will be book bloggers, influencers, bookshop owners, librarians, the press, etc. They will review your book where they review your book (perhaps even privately to their library board). You pay your money and let them read. (Note: because they are accustomed to traditional publishing, NetGalley has a reputation for being harsh.)Edelweiss: This is very much like NetGalley, but not as famous or expensive. Looking at who downloaded my book the times I’ve used it, it’s libraries, booksellers, and things like Teen Vogue. Again, they will read your book and they will review it where they review it. You are not paying to appear in Teen Vogue (and if anyone offers you a chance to do that, run away.) Some of my NetGalley readers posted reviews on Goodreads; none of my Edelweiss readers appear to have done so (but this is not what I am paying Edelweiss for). Book Sirens: This is an ARC service that concentrates on getting reviews onto retailers. The people downloading your book will not be Teen Vogue or Rolling Stone, they will be passionate readers who read A LOT of books. If you really want Amazon reviews on launch day, this is where you go. Note: Your book has to be approved for Book Sirens, so please have a good cover and description and be professionally edited.Booksprout: This is an ARC service like Book Sirens, but they’re a monthly subscription and they’re focused on reviews on launch day. People get mixed results; I always get reviews from them but a friend of mine never does. Like Book Sirens, these are passionate readers who read A LOT and appreciate feeding their book habit with free new books.Email book bloggers (and bookstagrammers and booktubers and booktokers) and offer them free books in exchange for an honest review. This is FREE but also I admit this is kind of a slog and you are likely to get ignored. These folks get a lot of email from authors who want their book reviewed and your chances are better if you can make your book sound appealing and are professional and polite. I will say that I signed up for a service that claimed that they had a huge database of leads for this, when when I got there most of the sites hadn’t updated in over two years. Do your own google searches. Look for who reviewed your comps! You will likely have a low success rate with this, but again, it is FREE. Many authors recommend setting up a google form and collecting readers from their newsletter and social media. This apparently works great for some authors but Book Sirens worked a lot better for me. Perhaps because this is my debut novel? or maybe I didn’t flog it enough. ���� Either way, money cannot change hands or else it violates the retailers’ terms of service. (You pay for access to the pool of reviewers in the services mentioned in item 2; the reviewer does not receive anything but the book.)

ANYWAY. Yes. Get those reviews!

The Vampire and Jewish History

Some people are going to look at the title of this blog post and wince. I feel you. I do! If you don’t know about blood libel, well. Suffice to say that my book’s premise will be seen as, um, questionable in some circles. I mean, it’s not forbidden or anything, but people might question my credentials and motivations.

During the Dreyfus affair, it was common to depict Jews as vampires. This continued through Dracula and Nosferatu, and is still seen in antisemitic cartoons (which I will not be showing here).

Stoker and Murnau ensured that the idea of the vampire would be infected with antisemitism, and vice versa, for many years to come. Adolf Hitler in 1925���s Mein Kampf refers to Jewish people as vampires and bloodsuckers, and calls them ���that race which shuns the sunlight.��� In the 1931 Dracula, starring Bela Lugosi, the titular vampire first appears wearing a large star of David necklace, identifying him as Jewish, and/or comparing the undead, blood-sucking monster to Jewish people. The vicious 1940 Nazi propaganda film The Eternal Jew, picks up numerous tropes from Nosferatu, according to scholar Eric Rentschler. That includes most vividly its equation of Jews with vermin and rats, and its charges of sexual predation (The Eternal Jew makes the outrageous false claim that Jewish people controlled 98% of prostitution worldwide.)

—Bloodsuckers: Vampires, Antisemitism And Nosferatu At 100

Yeah, Stoker was probably inspired in his reverse-colonization narrative by… Eastern European Jews “invading” London. “Those who have studied Stoker���s original text detect clues to suggest that in many cases this villain stands in for the threatening masses of eastern European immigrants, many of them Jews, who migrated to London.”

—They Walk Among Us; Vampire and Immigration in Victorian London

What’s a nice Jewish girl to do if she loves vampires?

The usual way to deal with it is to make sure your vampire isn’t Jewish–make him Catholic, or Mormon, or almost anything else. And I see that. But sometimes, rarely, people go in a different direction.

We’re getting to the point where people are starting to write books about Jewish vampires, some of them apparently without knowing the baggage. Cassandra Clare (who is Jewish) had a Jewish vampire character, Simon, who “plucks the cross out of the hands of someone trying to ward him away nonchalantly with the remark of ‘wrong religion.'” David Carrico has a book based on the famous prohibition against consuming blood in the Bible. Lavie Tidhar has HebrewPunk. Tidhar is apparently well aware of what he’s writing against. I was uncertain whether Carrico realized that or not (although I believe his book was well-intentioned).

I would also be remiss if I didn’t link Kaz Rowe’s Bram Stoker and the Fears that Built Dracula here. Particularly the section on Dracula as a reverse colonization narrative, in which the white majority fears the influx of the Eastern European menace that will change their blood. See my blog post on 19th Century Jewish London for more on those Eastern Europeans.

Special shout-out to Blood Relatives, in which a Jewish vampire discovers he has a daughter. Francis isn’t particularly religious–he’s culturally Jewish and swears a lot in Yiddish. It’s cute!

In short: I’m not the first person to write a Jewish vampire, nor even the first person to do so sympathetically. I’m certainly not the first person to make the vampire the protagonist. (That was either Anne Rice or the author of Varney the Vampire.) But I love a good moral inversion retelling, and vampires are too juicy a metaphor to pass up forever. Hopefully I did okay!

See also: Thoughts on writing vampires. The relationship between vampires and religion goes all the way back to their Eastern European origins. Those who turned their back on the Eastern Orthodox church often became vampires when they died, which obviously includes “witches” and heretics, but where does that leave Jews? I’m not going to go as far as the woman on Bluesky who once said “EVERYTHING about vampires is a reference to Jews, especially blood libel,” but she’s also not 100% wrong.