Leandra Medine's Blog, page 602

Ask Isaac: Can I Ask Him to Change?

Ok. Let’s reiterate the facts:

1. He cheated on you with your best friend. I don’t care if it was physical or not, he cheated on you.

2. He’s not nice to you. But more than that, he’s not a nice person, period.

3. He sees no future potential in your relationship.

4. You’re both so unhappy with each other that you “constantly” ask each other to change in order for the relationship to work.

5. Your lease is up in December.

I’m pretty sure that you and I and everyone reading this already knows what you should do, but since you asked…

You’re in an unhappy, futureless relationship with a complete asshole who also cheated on you with your best friend. She got kicked to the curb, but somehow this guy managed to stay in the mix by using a kind of nastiness that I can only assume lowers your self-esteem to the point where you’ve convinced yourself that you’ll never do better.

Trust me: You can do so much better.

Here’s a relationship litmus test that I’ve found to work 100% of the time: If you spend any amount of time thinking to yourself, “If my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner would just change a teensy-weensy bit, then maybe we’d be happy together,” YOU’RE IN THE WRONG RELATIONSHIP.

He’s not going to change and you shouldn’t have to. Not only that, but he’s come right out and told you that there’s no future for the two of you. When somebody shows you who they are, believe them.

Get out now. Forget about December. Life is too short for bad relationships with awful, soul-sucking humanoids.

Follow Isaac on Instagram here, Twitter here, and check out his website here. If you have a relationship question for our Ask a Guy series, email write@manrepeller.com with ASK ISAAC in the subject line. 

The post Ask Isaac: Can I Ask Him to Change? appeared first on Man Repeller.

MR Crystal Ball: Pamela Anderson

Theory: Pamela Anderson is the next big fashion trend.

The former Baywatch lamb has seemingly spent the last quarter and change coming up lavender for such unflinchingly cool independent magazines as a) Out of Order (wherein she was shot in high waist silver pants and a white lab coat on separate occasions), b) Gentlewoman (she and Beyoncé now have their respective inclusions in the magazine in common) and c) NO TOFU (as a cover star!), a publication ostensibly dedicated to the band The Beets, as in, Doug Funnie’s (of Doug fame) musical idols. She’s also been seen floating through the Instagram feed of one Amélie Pichard, the French accessory designer who is consistently on the tips of our tongues and geriatric-ally-thrilled toes.

Potential reasons for her return to the status of au courant:

1. The 90s are still very much alive in popular culture. As we continue to expound upon nostalgia incurred by the bygone era, additional variables and people affect the discourse. Maybe no one wants to talk about away messages anymore because having been knighted Playmate of the Month by Playboy in 1990 is so much more interesting.

2. She was an early pioneer of the backslash movement — that is, a single human tasked with multifarious occupations. While today nearly every one of us is a multi-tasking worker (if the world is our browser, our lives are its many open tabs), how many independent females of the 90s counted themselves as models, actresses, activists, producers and show girls? What a range of motion.

3. Anderson also leaned in very perversely after meeting and marrying Tommy Lee within four days of each other in ’95, subsequently assuming his last name, then giving it up. (Fine, this might be a byproduct of the divorce — tomato, tomahto). Furthermore, in spite of how iconic her hair became, she attempted a pixie cut at some point in the early aughts thus confirming her gives zero fucks attitude.

4. One piece bathing suits are so in fashion again that according to the SS16 season, they’re even being worn as tops. No one knows more about mastering the art of the one-piece than the former C.J. Parker.

4a. David Hasselhoff

5. She’s also been known to wear the American flag across her person, an act of undying patriotism, which, given the runway-related events of September in New York, Marc Jacobs would no doubt endorse.

6. We’re a generation of ironists, which lends itself quite spectacularly to placing a woman like Pamela Anderson on a pedestal that galvanizes distinct personal style that is fundamentally defined by clothes that say nothing: denim shorts and white t-shirts, clothes that celebrate cleavage (bathing suits, shrunken sweaters, crop tank tops) and clothes that speak inherently to a particular moment in time (see: low rise gold pants with a minor flare leg). Go Pam.

The post MR Crystal Ball: Pamela Anderson appeared first on Man Repeller.

Oh Boy Episode 5: Jordana Kier

Jordana Kier is the Tampon Queen. Though the co-founder of Lola — a direct-to-consumer, subscription-based feminine care company — may have appointed herself with this royal title, few will dispute Kier’s reign after hearing her take on a product that isn’t really discussed.

Ever.

Like, not even in the grand library of all that is feminine-care-related. Jordana Kier is changing all that. “Women have rarely been given an opportunity to think or talk openly and objectively about their period and their experience,” she told Oh Boy interviewer Jay Buim. She’s also dedicated to making a product that’s transparent about…everything, really: what it’s made of (100% cotton) and how the direct-to-you process works, the brand’s mission and thought process.

At the same time, this podcast isn’t just about tampons, either. No. Because when the founder of a really cool company used to list “run Lincoln Center” among her career goals, studied music in college, still has the athletics-thing down pat and just might be on a mission to bring the unibrow back, you know you’re in for a serious listen.

The kind where you actually pray for a bit of a delay on the subway, you know?

You do know. So plug your head phones in and enjoy.

The post Oh Boy Episode 5: Jordana Kier appeared first on Man Repeller.

How to Explain Man Repeller to Your Friends

Similar to the great conundrum of 2001 (wherin Britney Spears was not a girl, though not yet a woman either), Man Repeller, too, is neither.

Because websites don’t really have genders. You know.

But also what I mean is that Man Repeller is pretty hard to describe to someone who doesn’t read it. I know this because I spend 64% of my free time trying. (During dates and family events, at bars, to my friends who have amnesia.) My answers to the loaded  question of, “Where do you work?” is often met with quizzical stares and bad jokes.

The bad jokes are usually mine because sometimes, when men ask where I work, I respond, “Man Repeller” (as one does), follow it up with a real-life ellipsis then ask, “Is it working?”

The good ones laugh.

And I’ve heard (through the grapevine) that some of you guys, our readers, have a hard time describing this tree house cult to which we’re all members, too. (When in public, rule number one: begin with, “Now it’s not a cult, but…”)

So in case you ever mention this website in casual conversation and then find yourself before a semi-circle of raised eyebrows, here’s a guide to help you explain what Man Repeller is who we are:

To Your Family at a Giant Holiday Dinner

“It’s a website that covers fashion, personal style, beauty, pop culture in a (typically) op-ed format, plus a variety of other important stuff that is often funny, sometimes random and pertains to my life in that I like fashion, but shouldn’t have to feel like a ding dong for it. I’m fucking smart, okay? Sorry for cursing.”

To Anyone in Your Family Still Confused by the Word “Website”

“A website is a magazine that saves trees.”

To Anyone in Your Family Who Appears to Be Winding Up to Correlate the Words “Man Repeller” to Your Romantic Preferences

“The cat just licked the pasta.”

To Your Non-Platonic Significant Other

“7 times out of 10, it’s the reason I’m not answering your text messages in an appropriately prompt manner.” (1 hour)

To Your Best Friend

“7 times out of 10, it’s the thing I read when you are not answering my texts in an appropriately prompt manner.” (2 minutes)

To Your Boss When You’re at Work and Get Caught

“It’s anthropological research.”

“This fashion review is helping me to assess the risk value of investing in Spring 16 trends prior to Q2.”

“This is not porn.”

To Your Liberal Arts Teacher, Same Scenario

“It’s an indie literary journal!”

To Your Political Science Teacher

To Someone You Just Met at the Bar

Ask, “What’s your favorite website?”

Let them answer.

Then reply, “It’s my that.”

Or maybe you have a better suggestion/solution? Leave it in the cubby down below and remember: we’re not a cult. We just really, really like each other.

The post How to Explain Man Repeller to Your Friends appeared first on Man Repeller.

A Genius New Way to Consider the Neck Scarf

I publicly posited that I would never get sick of denim about a year ago; it seemed like an impossibility given the frequency with which I wore jeans, also taking into account that feeling tired of the unofficial fabric of American patriotism could be compared to, like, getting sick of drinking coffee in the morning — which every human who understands what kind of efficiency is born out of maintaining an operating system that feels a bit like it’s on steroids could agree is masochistic. Lately, though, I’ve been thinking about khakis and printed pants and skirts and feeling largely “over” jeans.

This past summer, in fact, was the first in recorded history that I gave away not one, not two, but three pairs of old Levi’s, which is essentially to say that you can’t know the future you. In the spirit of the present me, though, I have this to say: I will never get sick of wearing neck scarves.

You may remember when I wrote this.

And then this.

Then this one, too.

How about this?

Yeah.

So if you want to call this the fifth plea in that direction, go ahead, but you should know that this is newsworthy because it is arguably the most compelling tip to have emerged from Milan Fashion Week by way of street style and resident camera clickers Phil Oh/Adam Katz Sinding and requires that you wear at least three silk scarves AT THE SAME TIME.

Photographed above is Carlotta Oddi, Anna Dello Russo’s assistant, who managed to secure four different versions of the silk bandana scarf built by the house of Hermès. She seemingly could not wait to wear them all so did just that by braiding three together and turning them into a single choker:

Then she added another to her wrist thus validating every wrap I have ever executed. There is a zero percent chance I will not be trying this immediately (potentially live-blogging the process on Snapchat) and recommend that you, too, participate. Here are starter scarves, they’re similar to starter wives. Text me if you’re curious about how.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

K, that’s it. See you in Paris.

Photographed by Phil Oh for Vogue.com Adam Katz Sinding of Le 21eme

The post A Genius New Way to Consider the Neck Scarf appeared first on Man Repeller.

How to Deal: An Email Conversation About Anxiety Between Leandra and Amelia

On Tue, Sep 22, 2015 at 12:38 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:

Hey! Are you getting that post-summer anxious feeling?

On Tue, Sep 22, 2015 at 12:45 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:

I would say that my post-summer anxious feeling has transitioned into near-violent, premature winter terrors. It’s already made getting out of bed hard again, which is stressing me out because I was so good this summer…

WHAT DO I DO?

On Tue, Sep 22, 2015 at 12:48 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:

My career coach tells me that when I start to spiral (that’s what anxiety is, right? Like mental spiraling), I should just acknowledge that my mind, in a state of distortion, is doing something it’s now conditioned to do and then let it go and move on. It sounds and seems so simple and sometimes works but other times does not at all. I feel like wearing sandals even though it’s getting colder also helps. And fitness! You should have come to The Class with me this morning. I screamed, I cried. It was good.

On Sep 22, 2015, at 2:40 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:

What’s tough about anxiety is that it can be paralyzing. There are days when you wake up and despite logically knowing that working out or even just getting up and tackling the source of stress will help you feel better, you can’t. You just sort of lay there and panic until it’s too late and you have to run to work. Cue more anxiety.

Anxiety is such a buzz word now, too. Everyone I know “has anxiety” (some medicated, some not, some involving panic attacks), but almost everyone I know claims it in a very real way. Do you think that’s a sign of the times or has everyone always “had anxiety” and we’re just now in tune with it? (Or bigger wimps?)

On Tue, Sep 22, 2015 at 4:03 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:

Well, anxiety is pretty closely connected to depression, right? I think there is really something to living in NY and the pressure that presents. This is a menial example but the traffic in London was so mind numbing, considerably worse than the traffic here and yet drivers (and passengers!) remain calm through it. There’s no honking or anything. In NY, I feel like I’m constantly supposed to feel like I’m about to blow up. Not sure really what a cheap (as in: not a monthly, week-long vacation) antidote is. Breathing does help and so does laughing. What do you do to quell it?

On Wed, Sep 23, 2015 at 10:22 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:

I have to escape the city. (Sorry for this: I go riding.) The problem is that it comes back when I come back — the moment I hit reality.

I’m least anxious when: I’m ahead of my work, I’m working out, my apartment is clean, I have money in the bank after paying rent and responding to my Venmo payment requests. But life happens, so there has to be a way to alleviate anxiety when things are stressful, too. I wish I could stick with meditation — is that helping you? I never stick with it because I’m like WHO HAS TIME FOR THIS?

When I stop everything and put music on and draw, that helps. Moving helps, like walking/running. Getting away from anything with a screen helps. I want to do what we talked about the other day and put my phone away at least an hour before bed.

Sometimes the only thing that helps is repeating, “It always ends up being okay, it always ends up getting done.” Because a little bit of stress can push you to meet a deadline but anxiety can prevent you from being productive at all.

On Wed, Sep 23, 2015 at 10:33 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:

Yes, meditation helps immeasurably. I’m finding the afternoon meditations a bit harder to commit to, but when I do them, I feel like a new person afterward. There is something so empowering and energizing about just closing your eyes for 20 minutes in the middle of the day and then coming out of it. You just clear up or something. It’s like emotional Benadryl wherein the city is your allergy.

I’m also doing a new 24-hour technology detox every week (Fri at sundown to Sat at sundown) and according to those around me in my personal life, I have become, like, 20% less insufferable. Last night my dad even accused me of seeming happy! I’m also really trying not to internalize things and take them so personally/make them so personal. E.g. if comments are down on a specific day, I’m not taking it as a direct assault on us and literally driving myself to the point of illness trying to figure out what everyone is doing at 3 p.m. on a Wednesday in lieu of reading Man Repeller.

^^^ So that was me projecting. I do think you’re on to something with the staying ahead of work and taking good care of yourself — the thing with working out, I’ve realized, is that it’s starting to seem like holy me-time in a way that manicures or blow outs don’t really feel anymore. (Probably because we’re glued to our phones in those latter situations whereas when you’re working out, you have no choice but to torture yourself with dumbbells and the like). And you’re right! In the end, it’s always okay. Why is it so hard to remember that while we’re freaking out? Maybe because we feel like it’s only ever okay in the end because of the way that we freak out in order to get it done?

On Thu, Sep 24, 2015 at 12:00 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:

How do you detach yourself for 20 minutes mid-day in the afternoon? Aren’t you like, OhmmmmmmRENT. FUCK. I FORGOT TO MAIL IT AND THEN DO 2345678 OTHER THINGS I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO YESTERDAY and then open you eyes and poof, ruined?

The fact that you just pinpointed why blow outs and manicures no longer feel like “me-time” was such an epiphany for me. Basically anywhere I have service and a free hand — just one — I’m on my phone. That is so bad.

Maybe we freak out because of some sort of latent survival instinct: the chillest cavemen probably died. (“Na man, I’m good, I’ll learn how to build fire later.” *Death*)

I swear I once read or heard that it’s actually harder for the brain to be happy and it’s easier for it to worry.

The other day, I lost my wallet (in my apartment) while I was already super late, worried about a million things and sleep deprived. I was cursing at inanimate objects and made my roommate turn the TV off so I could concentrate. I was all hot and thinking: great, now I have to get a new ID. Cancel my credit cards. Wait for new credit cards. Go through the awful motion of having Chase read a list of all of the dumb things I’ve spent money on in the past 24 hours just in case my wallet was stolen.

Then I found my wallet on my bed and felt really dumb. Not for losing it because that happens but for letting myself freak out. That’s what I want to avoid more than anything, you know? Is that anxiety or just a personality disorder?

On Thu, Sep 24, 2015 at 12:12 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:

Sounds like anxiety perpetuated by distorted thinking. I feel myself under a lot of pressure right now, actually. Between London, then being offline for 25 hours for Yom Kippur, and feeling like I’m not hitting any of my deadlines because there aren’t enough hours in the day to write and organize and schedule and edit and shoot videos and Instagram and answer emails and eat and call my mom to tell her that I love her, it starts to weigh on me and make me feel like an inadequate person. My heart starts racing and I start pulling at my eyebrows. I so miss the days when I had no responsibility but to just write what I was thinking, which has essentially been superseded by making sure that everyone around me is either writing or shooting or thinking and feeling and that’s when I know I need to not drink coffee and do shut my eyes.

So I’m gonna do that right now.

And then I’m going to make a list in priority order of all the things that I think need to get done today. Then I’m going to group it by things that actually need to get done and things that can wait until tomorrow. And then I’m going to tackle and destroy and by the time this piece is published, I am probably not even going to remember what was stressing me out.

Do you think that’s it??? Just like, breaking down the experience of anxiety and turning it into a series of to-do’s that are manageable and can be checked off your list?

On Thu, Sep 24, 2015 at 2:02 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:

Reading what you are going through which is what I/the whole world except for babies am/is going through and then watching you come out of it was so reassuring, like when a stressful movie ends in a comforting way.

Having a game plan, not necessarily a solution, must help. I love that you have a to-do list, and are then realistic enough to chop it into days. I definitely just make long, looming lists which don’t help so much as they do remind me of all the shit I’m not doing.

I think what really causes anxiety is feeling like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. A long, imposing, scary to-do list is a long, long tunnel. You can’t see the light.

But if you’re like: Okay, look! I just gotta do all of this by the time it hits 7. Then I’m done. Then tomorrow I do round 2, but look: another light. That helps.

The only thing I’m putting on today’s list is: drink margarita.

The post How to Deal: An Email Conversation About Anxiety Between Leandra and Amelia appeared first on Man Repeller.

I’ll Never Let Go, Strap: How to Wear Sandals this Fall

Does it ever happen that you will have owned a garment or accessory for a number of years and then find that even though you’ve liked the thing for as long as you’ve had it, you also never thought you couldn’t live without until boom: it’s the only thing you want to wear?

This happened to me at the end of the summer with a pair of lace up sandals akin to these but handmade in a small shop in Southampton Village on Long Island at a store called il Sandalo. It’s like August reared its head and all of a sudden all shoes are useless lest they lace up my leg, and all feet are useless lest they fit inside these shoes. I wore them with vigor. Often with slip dresses but also with shorts and sometimes just bathing suits and this one time, with nothing else at all (I was streaking through the quad).

What’s happened since September 23rd officiated The End is that I’ve realized they look pretty great with early fall-centric clothes, which brings us to right now and here, where I am trying relentlessly to hold on to the last standing slice of exposed skin and plan to do so until my toes are purple.

Let’s discuss.

Here is exhibit A — a pair of high waist blue jeans plus shearling and embroidered trim and a leopard print coat by Shrimps plus light blue fur collar to evince the spirit of a funky fall but not without first pledging allegiance to the season that came before it. In with your shoes, out with your shoes, right?

I don’t even know what that means.

Shrimps jacket, Toga jeans, Edie Parker handbag, Céline sunglasses

Here we have a pair of culottes that could conceivably double as a mid-length skirt which is once again all the rage for raging shown in a utility green paired with a pink jacket because newsflash, humanity: black is the color of a dark soul and thus should not be reflected in the vivacious life you try to embody through your garments. All hail the return of color!

Roksanda jacket, Vilshenko culottes, Rebel and Crown t-shirt

And finally, some bell bottoms. I don’t need glasses because my eyesight is pretty good but ever since we publicly proclaimed our (as in, Man Repeller’s) affinity for Lucy Chadwick, I just can’t imagine a reality where I am not wearing specs on my face. Also hard to imagine living on without: a red mock-neck sweater that once belonged to Paddington Bear. And tilt-a-whirl pants! This works because the sweater is so warm, my body will basically need the fresh air that my toes will command and just like that

All

Will

Be

Well

On

Bleecker.

Rosie Assoulin sweater and pants, The Row handbag

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis

The post I’ll Never Let Go, Strap: How to Wear Sandals this Fall appeared first on Man Repeller.

A Day in the Life of a Shoe

They say you shouldn’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in her shoes but how about: don’t judge a shoe until you’ve walked a mile in it.

Imagine a life where those who can’t have you, fawn over you (thus perpetuating your ego and sense of self-worth — cool!). Yet when those who can have you, achieve you, you’re used to sweep the floors and walk across hard concrete, sometimes directly into an unwitting pile of fecal matter, other times just through cigarette butts and the like. When you’re home and in safe territory — the kinds of floors you actually want to socialize with, you’re tossed off. To the side of a room. Ostensibly feeling both depleted and dejected.

That can’t be easy, you know?

Impressive, however, is that the shoes continue to triumph. They’re torn down, their owners show disrespect and yet, they continue to work, transporting your legs and therefore body from point A to point B and in the right pair of shoes, they do so with swagger. They never complain. They just do. Like publicists at fashion week, they are the unsung heroes of success. Carolina Herrera once said that shoes are the most important accessory for a woman because you need them to leave your house. Without further ado, we welcome you to a brief day in the life of great shoes.

In Partnership with Robert Clergerie. Photos by Krista Anna Lewis

The post A Day in the Life of a Shoe appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Ten Most Important Takeaways From Milan Fashion Week

The tasteful tackiness of Milan prevails for the next Spring season, where bright amalgamations of color are more common than chlorine in a pool. Here are ten important, actionable takeaways.

1. From Aquilano.Rimondi: A cool way to reconsider wearing your oversize white shirt is with a matching set (it doesn’t have to be sequined but if it is, you get brownie points) that consists of a mini skirt that will allow for the shirt to peek out from below it and a crop top that will make eating your body weight in brownie points feel much more satisfying.

2. From Stella Jean: No it does not matter that you maintain 20/20 vision — get a pair of optical lenses and do something weird to your hair so that when you wear all the color you can muster together from the contents of your closet, you look like someone’s crazy Aunt Greta. Also: bright tiki skirt!

3. From Dolce and Gabbana: Remove your nightgown from the bedroom, wear deep into the streets of your favorite city. Velvet smoking loafers are not mandatory, however, I would recommend a neck scarf for your head. Don’t you feel like making a bowl of pasta?

4. From Marni: Lego my Eggo! As in, Consuelo say, Leandra do. So look like a human Lego structure, incorporate yellow cut-outs that could be mistaken for “waffle” fabric and then play this commercial on loop:

5. From Jil Sander: If you can’t quite kick your propensity for black yet, don’t give in to peer pressure, but do consider a) this dissertation on bucket hats  and b) a pair of shoes that force you to escape your comfort zone, if even just for a couple of steps.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

6. From Emilio Pucci: Disco lives! But only when you’re pairing the party with the kind of pants that you might be inclined to wear while lounging boat side. Also of note and life: the amber lenses initially popularized by Alessandro Michele for Gucci. (If you’re wearing black and white, add some red.)

7. From Iceberg: Creative suiting need not require a jacket and plebeian pants — a shirt and cropped flares will do. Also, do whatever you can to match light blue to red. Even if it means giving yourself paper cuts to slather across the sky.

What?

8. From No. 21: If you still want to do the 90s, at least do it with a black-based floral print that could be mistaken for lederhosen depending on where, geographically, you come from. Do also make sure the bottom layer is plain, white and crisp.

9. From Prada: Gdyufgwjhdgajdjgghagdfbuiwoiwrkjbf!!! More is never enough. Do you have a transparent shower curtain? Turn it into a damn dress already.

10. From Francesco Scognamiglio: In addition to learning how to say this name, don’t feel bad if transparent shower curtain isn’t your think (yet). Because feminine ruffles that provide breathing room for ye nipples are still a thing as Givenchy and this Italian house that may or may not be proving all the cool stuff is, in fact, coming out of Milan.

11. Here’s one for good luck, too: Stop buying long blazers, wean off of tonal colors, consider the cropped jacket and make like part one of a rainbow.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

Did I miss something? What are you takeaways? Favorite looks? Flavor smoothie?

Photographs via Vogue Runway

The post The Ten Most Important Takeaways From Milan Fashion Week appeared first on Man Repeller.

Is Kim Kardashian the New Jeff Koons?

Image by Sarah Silberg via Vulture

The post Is Kim Kardashian the New Jeff Koons? appeared first on Man Repeller.