Leandra Medine's Blog, page 28

Loungewear! But Make It Relevant After Quarantine

Exciting news! We’ve launched MR Think Tank, a digital braintrust we want *you* to be part of. We’re kicking it off with a survey that will help us get to know you better, so we can keep making stuff you love. In exchange, you’ll receive exclusive content and other fun things. Interested? Sign up by taking the survey!

In case you missed it (and if you did, we’re fighting) last week I asked what everyone has been spending money on for the past few weeks in quarantine. I even doubled down on the question by chatting with people on the Man Repeller Thoughtline about what they’ve recently bought. The answers felt honest, raw, and generous. Some people purchased things from small businesses they care about most, hoping to give back. Many gave to charity. Plenty bought stuff just because wanting “stuff” feels like a symptom of the idleness that gnaws at us every day.

It should come as no surprise, though, that the common through-line in the majority of purchases was… loungewear. Home pants. Fuzzy fashion. Comfort clothes. Stretch couture.

When we all realized we’d be spending more time at home than ever before, we scrambled and bought elastic pants with abandon, sweatshirts with sagesse. I can say that, on my end, those purchases, which actually occurred long before quarantine, have already overachieved on their cost per wear. I’ve worn every sweatshirt and sweater in my closet at least five times. I know every inch of my sweatpants intimately… and they know me right back.

A question worth answering (even if your stock isn’t exactly new): How can we translate all this loungewear into real out-in-the-sunshine-still-wearing-a-mask-tho life again? I know this community is wondering because you are a group of smart, sustainably-minded folks. My bevy of sweat-things are precious for the comfort they’ve given me, but I need to know that they will still work for me–and look cool doing so–outside the house for years to come. Below are some styling suggestions to get your outfit-idea motor running with the loungey things in your closet as fuel.

1. The Sweatshirt

My Pick: Ah… the trusty sweatshirt. Everyone has parameters for what they believe makes the very best. I happen to believe in crewnecks only. I like French terry cotton because it’s cool enough to wear in warmer months and apartments that keep the radiator blasting in late April (cough cough). This one from Mad Happy I purchased a year ago, along with matching sweatpants, and it has consistently been the best sweatshirt in my closet. The perfect crop, the material that never makes me hot or cold, and the color (I didn’t even know I could pull off creamsicle) have all been just right, in the words of Goldilocks.

My Real-Life Play: Since I’m thinking about everything with summer (perhaps optimistically?), I paired these with the lightest-weight pants in my closet from when Eliz styled me for a story about summer pants (THEY RULE). I went with a print, but I think a crewneck sweatshirt looks just as cool with casual khakis or stovepipe denim. Accessories are imperative and sweatshirts lend themselves to highlighting all kinds of cool necklaces. Layer up!

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2. The Leggings

My Pick: These leggings are of-legend. I ordered them a few months ago when I was looking for a new pair to add to my running collection. I found that I prefer wearing them for inactivity, actually. Black leggings are tried and true, but I think navy and green are just as neutral as black in a wardrobe, ya know?

My Real-Life Play: My coworkers have styled leggings in approximately One Million. Genius. Ways. So, inspired by the likes of Leandra and Katie Sturino, leggings really do go best with a top that makes absolutely no sense with them. Like a NICE top. A top you’d wear to dinner with grandma. And earrings. And little moccasin flats.

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3. The Nightdress

My Pick: I got this dress from a brand called Kala last fall and it breaks my heart that I can’t buy another one! It is the perfect nighttime shift dress, which I have worn both to bed and out to dinner with heels, no joke. Any slip dress kind of satisfies this as well—alarmingly cozy and jaw-droppingly versatile.

My Real-Life Play: Because it’s *short* I’m wearing it with knee-high boots from Brother Vellies that are essentially my children. A statement piece that shouts. A simple knit cardigan can be worn on top when it’s nippy and tossed aside when it’s hot hot hot.

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4. The Sweatpants

My Pick: These sweatpants from the Aimé Léon Doré x New Balance collab were a BIG purchase. Not only were they ‘spensy (how I say expensive), but they were sweatpants, and white. It didn’t make a ton of sense. But, I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of them and the material feels LUXE for sweatpants. TBH, not sure I needed to spring the way I did, but we live and we learn.

My Real-Life Play: I wanted to prove to myself that sweatpants could be dressed up. BIG dressed up. So I paired them with some ladylike Reike Nen shoes and a fancy lady jacket and a fancy lady necktie. I think it all came together well, to be honest?? I defer to you to tell me, but in order to make sweatpants work outside, I think you need some kind of cropped jacket to avoid it looking frumpy, and a shirt underneath that’s fitted. Not a precise formula, but a place to start nonetheless!

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5. The Graphic T-shirt

My Pick: I got this T-shirt for myself because I saw Uncut Gems twice in theaters and it shook me to the ground with how good it was. Consider me a certified Safdie Bros Bro who’s not interested in speaking about it with other Safdie Bros Bros. It’s a men’s size medium so sometimes it’s hard to wrangle, but it’s a veritable work of art and I will love it forever.

My Real-Life Play: The beauty of the giant graphic tee is that it can be worn ad infinitum. I’m sure you don’t really need my help with this, but I recommend pairing graphic tees with unexpected stuff, like skirts or noisy pants or colors that don’t intuitively go with it on the color wheel. I paired mine with gingham pants, bad boy loafers and a vintage belt.

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6. The Rugby

My Pick: It’s hard to say there are alternatives to the Great Rugby Emporium that is Rowing Blazers. This rugby I bought two years ago is a much THICKer cotton than my sweatshirt, and is so comfortable for at-home wear. I’ve found myself fully tackled by the Work from Home Rugby Gang. That’s… the only rugby term I know.

My Real-Life Play: Once again, because the cotton is thick, the rugby needs a pant to offset the heft. I chose these old Uniqlo x JW Anderson shorts that kind of look more like a floaty A-line skirt from far away. Then socks and loafers are just a clear call, imo. I want to look like a French schoolboy searching for hermit crabs amidst the rocks on a beach in Biarritz.

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Any other styling conundrums you have from your loungewear purchases? I guarantee they can be worn out of the house and in the light of day without an athleisure bent. I’m here for you in the comments.

Feature Image: Amalie wearing Sandy Liang fleece, Rachel Comey dress, Labucq shoes.

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16 Random Things From My Early 20s That I’m Unexpectedly Missing Lately

Exciting news! We’ve launched MR Think Tank, a digital braintrust we want *you* to be part of. We’re kicking it off with a survey that will help us get to know you better, so we can keep making stuff you love. In exchange, you’ll receive exclusive content and other fun things. Interested? Sign up by taking the survey!

My early twenties were the stickiest and tumbliest years of my life—my Bambi years. I was in a new city, working my first full-time media job, trying to finish my degree. I was living paycheck to paycheck but I was also really living, you know? Those years were messy but in the best way, like a perfectly innocent but incredibly juicy dollop of gossip.

Right now—at a time when each day occurs within the same wash-rinse-repeat cycle—I’m craving a little of that harmless early-twenties turbulence. I’ve been thinking about that time a lot lately. It could have something to do with the fact that this is my final year in my 20s (what a way to see ’em out, amiright?). It might be because people have been posting photos of themselves at 20 on Twitter.

Whatever the reason, I’ve spent a good portion of my quarantine fantasizing about some highly specific and extremely unexpected things from my early twenties.

These things include:

The taste of vodka-lime-soda.

Wearing HEELS.

Sleeping in fake tan the night before a night out.

Getting ready at my best friend’s house, sitting on the floor, knees touching, both trying to do our makeup in the same full-length mirror.

Squeezing people’s hands and faces on the dance floor whenever one of the songs from our pre-gaming playlists came on.

Going to a friend’s place the next day to pick up my makeup bag, crawling into their bed and catching up about the night before.

Celebrating the bargain that is the cheapest bottle of white wine from the liquor store.

Zig-zagging through the crowd at a music festival with a friend’s hands on my shoulders, trying to remember where the hell the rest of our friends were.

Making friends with a stranger in the line for the porta potties.

The assumption that everyone would want to go out dancing for their birthday, and that everyone else in our group would be free and excited to go.

Getting $10 Thai food delivered and eating it cross-legged around someone’s coffee table, with the previously mentioned bottle of wine.

Watching new episodes of Gossip Girl with my housemates on Tuesday nights, squeezed onto the $100 couch we all chipped in to buy.

Finishing every sentence we spoke inside the house with: xoxo Gossip Girl.

Uploading an entire album of photos to Facebook after a single event.

Relating a little too much to everything on Thought Catalog.

The Valencia filter.

Everything, really.

What do you miss?

Feature photo via Everett Collection.

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Moda Operandi’s Tatiana Hambro Arader Is Still Dreaming About This *One* Bag

Exciting news! We’ve launched MR Think Tank, a digital braintrust we want *you* to be part of. We’re kicking it off with a survey that will help us get to know you better, so we can keep making stuff you love. In exchange, you’ll receive exclusive content and other fun things. Interested? Sign up by taking the survey!

Sometimes I lay restless in the night, wondering about other peoples’ hyper-specific search terms, guarded like sapphires at the Smithsonian. What first editions of books do my contemporaries find worthy of rooting around the Internet for? Whose bedroom will finally feel tied together if they have a Valentine Olivetti typewriter perched on their desk? Who will swear off all other vessels if they can carry their wallet and keys in a Christopher Kane jelly clutch? What else do they find on their journeys down these rabbit holes? My curiosity became so overwhelming, so egregious, so probing, that I caved and just asked.

And aren’t I glad that I did: I heard stories that were the 21st century equivalent of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road—the road, in this case, is the information superhighway—and so we’ll be publishing these ditties as a series over the course of this week. Ruby Redstone was first up in the series, with her tale of tracking down a 2013 pair of Acne Studios glitter boots. Come back tomorrow for more where this came from!

Tatiana Hambro Arader, Deputy Editor at Moda Operandi

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It’s all fun and games and royal waves on Day 1

I Heard About It on Thoughtline: A Serum That Makes Your Skin Look… Perfect

Have you ever used the “touch up my appearance” filter on Zoom? I didn’t know it existed until a month ago, which I guess makes sense since I didn’t know Zoom existed until a month ago, but it was a source of immediate fascination. All you have to do is check a box in Zoom’s system preferences, and your face is transformed from “just your face” to “your face in heaven”–i.e. lit and blurred to perfection, as if you were standing in the presence of a holy being.

I don’t keep the box permanently checked (TBH, I’m afraid I’ll forget what my real face looks like), but I’m not immune to the allure of its magic-adjacent effects. So, when I was conversing with an MR Thoughtline subscriber who casually mentioned she had found the beauty product equivalent of the Zoom “touch up my appearance” filter, I sat up straight at my makeshift desk. According to Zoom, the “touch up my appearance” filter “smooths out the skin tone on your face, to present a more polished-looking appearance.” Apparently Ilia’s Super Serum Skin Tint SPF 40 does the exact same thing–but in real life.

After checking off “touch up my appearance” on Zoom.

“It’s like a tinted moisturizer but has squalane and niacinimide and hyaluronic acid and SPF!!!!” my new beauty advisor gushed. “It’s makeup that doubles as skincare. And you don’t need to do anything else to your face for it to look good–it’s like you’ve done a whole routine, but it’s only one product, and it comes in 18 shades.”

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I was sold at “squalane”—which, for the uninitiated, is a natural emollient that locks moisture into your skin. So I requested a sample and have worn it every day for a week. Let me state for the record: This stuff is BETTER than the Zoom filter. It doesn’t make you look like you’re standing in the presence of a holy being, it makes you look like you are a holy being–or at the very least like you swallowed a flashlight. I’ve never experienced such an instant uptick in glow, as if I’ve just come back from a spa instead of just coming back from my second trip to the pantry for snacks. It’s a band-aid for lack of Vitamin D if there ever was one (the fact that it contains SPF at a time I’ve never needed sun protection less is an irony that will hopefully pay off later).

My only qualm with it is the consistency, which is pretty thick (I usually opt for sheer coverage when I wear makeup), but it melts into my skin like–yes–a #stickofbutter, so there’s none of the terrible cakey texture that often comes with full-coverage foundations. The product becomes part of my skin instead of sitting on it, if that makes sense?? Anyways, this stuff is great. I’m looking forward to wearing it for more auspicious occasions than virtual work meetings and dinner with my immediate family, but in the meantime it’s the ideal pick-me-up for my perpetually pajama-clad state of existence.

Now feels like a very logical time to double check that you yourself are signed up for The MR Thoughtline, don’t you agree? If you’re not, you can resolve this issue once and for all via this link riiiiiiiiiight here. 

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Ruby Redstone on Finding the World’s Best Glitter Boots After Years of Googling

Sometimes I lay restless in the night, wondering about other peoples’ hyper-specific search terms, guarded like sapphires at the Smithsonian. What first editions of books do my contemporaries find worthy of rooting around the Internet for? Whose bedroom will finally feel tied together if they have a Valentine Olivetti typewriter perched on their desk? Who will swear off all other vessels if they can carry their wallet and keys in a Christopher Kane jelly clutch? What else do they find on their journeys down these rabbit holes? My curiosity became so overwhelming, so egregious, so probing, that I caved and just asked.

And aren’t I glad that I did: I heard stories that were the 21st century equivalent of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road—the road, in this case, is the information superhighway—and so we’ll be publishing these ditties as a series over the course of this week. Come back tomorrow for more where this came from!

Ruby Redstone, Writer & Stylist

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January color palette

Dispatch #007: Is Surrendering the First Step to Repairing?

Have you launched a post-quarantine wish list? I have purchased nothing but groceries in the last six weeks but recently, I started an inbox draft, subject title: “Maybe you can buy this stuff when it’s safe.” So far, there is a black jumpsuit by the brand Sea in there. A pair of Proenza Schouler Birkenstocks, this incredible looking terrycloth sarong, a Maison Cleo gingham blouse, and these cotton shorts.

Oh god, and then there are this saran wrap for your feet. I have liked these shoes since I saw them at The Row’s presentation last September. It feels like such a distant memory now—taking for granted very little things like using my phone when I’m outside without first taking off the protective gloves that cover my fingers, or breathing in air without having a sheet of cloth intercept the contact between my nose and the outdoors. Other things I have taken for granted: the endless opportunities that awaited me on literally every street corner (a coffee, a muffin, a bouquet of flowers, a pack of gum, a bottle of water). The random act of greeting a stranger. And lest I forget the leisurely chance to wear something frivolous. More and more, I’m coming to see that as an essential effort to feel great.

It’s nice to talk about clothes and muffins and things that aren’t directly related to the outbreak. I think this is partly why I’ve taken to cooking: It’s another escape lever. But the desire to distract myself dims almost as quickly as I realize I am distracted and then, there I am again.

I have no idea what post-Pandemic life is going to be like, but I also get the sense that I am not the only one who is starting to think about it. I mean really think about it. Will you ever shake another hand? Get on another plane without first laboring over whether you really have to? I don’t know that I’ll eat out as frequently, even though I can’t begin to tell you how much I miss it. Every part of the prospect thrills me: picking an eating companion, picking a restaurant, picking a time and a way to get there, picking an outfit, then going and picking the greatest part of it all: a topic of conversation to get lost in.

Lately, I also wonder if I’m clinging to the small things like whether I will eat out again because the big things—like business! My work! Health. This country—seem too big. I haven’t yet really let those last two unravel, but they’re festering. For now, it’s easier to think about the inbox draft. My wishlist. I wonder if it will ever really be safe enough again to indulge its contents. I mean, I know it will be safe enough again—I guess what I really mean is, how long will it take? Eh, forget it. There’s no use in trying to guess.

It’s funny how coming out of one mode—panic mode, solutions mode, fight mode, whatever—and entering surrender mode can feel like defeat when actually, I think, it’s the beginning of repair. I can feel myself stretching into corners of my mind that I have not been able to access in the past six weeks and it’s really nice. Have you felt that way at all?

I’m still thinking about that terrycloth sarong. I have visited it nearly every day for three weeks; debating which color would best suit the rest of the contents of my wardrobe, evaluating whether the yellow, which is my favorite, feels too much like a tender gimmick, approximating beach umbrellas to be found along the coast of Italy.

And are you craving color more than usual? Initially, I wondered if I’m reverting to a maximal approach to dressing but I think I’m just craving more color. Before all of this started, I’d become a staunch supporter of the era of streamlined fashion. I wore jeans and gray jackets and sleek boots and stood up straighter and felt like a real adult anytime I justified buying a Sensible Navy Blue Sweater. But in quarantine, I’m looking for bold colors and printed shorts and wearing tie-dye socks, so I can’t help but wonder, because I’m sitting by a window typing into a laptop as if I were actually Carrie Bradshaw: Am I becoming a born-again maximalist, or is my world so much smaller these days that I’m pulling whatever levers of expression I know to widen its aperture?

Abie’s reading a book to Madeline and Laura in the other room. I can hear his voice following the rhythm of a rhyming book that Madeline loves. If I had to guess, Laura is barely listening. She’s probably counting the shapes on the rug or gathering her crayons or stacking the books. She seems not to care much about playing with toys but really likes to arrange them. Pulling them together, taking them apart. Madeline, on the other hand, loves to be entertained. She gobbles up books like they’re ice cream sandwiches, watches our iPhone screens when we FaceTime with grandparents as if it were Sesame Street. She loves to draw, and watch me draw. I feel like I’m in a fortress right now, talking about them from behind a closed door instead of to them, boots on the ground. Here I’m writing to blow off steam as I await entry into a Zoom meeting room while Abie’s out there reading to them. Boots on the ground. I’d like to be boots on the ground.

I spent most of last night up in bed writing a mental list of what perishable ingredients are still in my fridge so I could prioritize how to use them, force ranking the most to least likely to spoil. I started to think about all the flax meal I’ve acquired. The nearly-overripe bananas on my counter. The grain-free bread that is molding. I could smear the bananas on the bread, add peanut butter or black beans (don’t knock it til you try it) and feed all of us breakfast. Does anyone else lay awake worrying about how to optimize their produce?

It’s Sunday night now.

This story has been sitting on the backend of WordPress for like, 4 days and I’m editing the last two paragraphs because I don’t understand what the point was. I’m not actually sure there was one. I’d written something about the different ways Abie and I cope, which I’m certain was an attempt to talk myself off a ledge because even after The Great Head Bump and the consequent Tender Hug, I was still mad. Not about the hemp seeds — but not that far off either.

Why, for example, wouldn’t he lay awake with me thinking about how to optimize produce? How could he sleep so comfortably while time passed, okra unused? If that sounds crazy, I get why, but it never feels that way when you’re in the heat of the moment. He’s a rational compartmentalizer who keeps a safe (dare I jest 6 foot) distance between facts and feelings whereas I make mental hurricanes, knocking everything that crosses my mind (and guts) into the eye of the storm, each item carrying equal weight. And then I wear it so heavy! He’s light as a feather.

At the beginning of quarantine, I worried I might get resentful. Last week, I am certain it was beginning to happen and I probably wrote this too soon because I only just realized that I was so mad because I was starting to think that I was carrying weight for both of us — that this is what enabled his featherweight trapising, but guess what? That’s bullshit. The weight is all my own. Was all my own. I know this to be true because at some point midway through Saturday morning, by some miracle of sunshine, I said fuck it and meant fuck it and almost immediately dropped two cinderblocks worth of weight. Maybe I had tasted the sweet potion of surrender earlier on, but this, I am certain, was a more potent gulp and tl;dr? The weekend was really nice. Nothing is okay, but everything is okay.

Graphics by Lorenza Centi. Leandra wearing Toteme jeans and Chanel jacket.

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The Totokaelo Sale Is Packed With Super-Soft Loungewear and Good Sneakers

Earlier this week, Amalie posed a question to the Man Repeller community: What are you spending money on right now? There are over 100 comments and counting under the post, with answers ranging from “Sims 4 Expansion packs and junk food” to “God, so much.” No matter what people are spending money on right now, whether it’s on food and other necessities, or stuff to brighten up the home, or clothes to wear when we can finally go back outside again, there is understandably a great deal of thought being directed at purchasing decisions during this unprecedented situation.

This heightened consideration has edged every conversation about shopping as it pertains to the stories we publish on Man Repeller as well. We’ve been grateful for your feedback in this respect–whether in comment sections, on Twitter, via Instagram DM, or on Thoughtline–about how you’re thinking about shopping at the moment. As per the comment section underneath Amalie’s story, perspectives vary widely, but it’s clear there is an appetite for certain things in particular when it comes to non-essential spending: Loungewear. Comfortable dresses. Shoes to appropriate for wearing at home or on socially-distant walks. T-shirts.

Our Market Strategist, Elizabeth, keeps a close eye on sales and flagged that Totokaelo is currently having a real humdinger, so she combed through it to find the best pieces in these specific categories. Scroll down to see the goods if you’re on the hunt, or even just to window-shop. (And let us know in the comments if you’d like more stories in this vein, or if there’s anything else that would be especially helpful.) —The Writers

Bottoms for Lounging

My standard for purchasing a loungewear item right now is that it has to be something I will still wear regularly post-quarantine, so that’s the lens through which I parsed through Totokaelo’s discounted selection. I really like these flowy airy printed pants, and these elastic-waist paisley ones, both of which would look great with a tank right now and a swim top down the line. Speaking of paisley–these VELVET paisley pants are the most luxurious. Or these, which are literally called “whoosh” pants–am I the only one who wants pants called “whoosh” pants??

I’d also love a simple, deep red pair to match my nightly glass of wine. These black ones look especially versatile, but I’m also really into the idea of a comfortable airy midi skirt. Ribbed pants are my weak spot, especially on such heavy sale. Oh, and these “evening track pants” fully sold me with their knit material. I highly recommend checking out this pair of incredibly cool shiny shorts, or these ones that I like to call the “diaper” style (with utmost affection). I love these rust color ones which I’d wear with a matching rust top and be a … #stickofrust? Finally, a moment of appreciation for this elastic-waist sarong.

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Easy Peasy Breezy Dresses

Edith has sufficiently established the upside of having a reliable nightgown-adjacent dress for Zoom calls et. al., and Totokaelo has a bunch on sale. This pretty ruffle white shirt dress, which I could see myself napping in but also conversing with colleagues in. Ditto for this glorious printed one from Ganni, and this flowy tunic with sleeves I would roll up while leaving the bottom buttons loose. This knit one which will be so cozy right now, but also great for chilly summer nights all the way into fall. I would wear this sapphire blue slip dress on a socially distant date with a bunch of jewels. My tie-dye craving has finally been sated with this asymmetrical number, and I’m p sure this or this would facilitate many a fancy couch sit.

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Shoes to Take You Places (Even If It’s Just Your Kitchen)

These sneakers have mastered the art of combining form and function, equally suited to running or outfit-making.  These black ones check both boxes, too. I own and wear these Reeboks a lot, and am also a big fan of this classic pair. Classic Chuck Taylors signify the true start of warm weather season to me. As does raffia.

If you’re like me and interested in scoping out home-appropriate footwear that you can eventually wear out and about, consider these sandals with a pair of socks, or this snazzy floral appliqué style on sale from Rachel Comey. I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll have an opportunity to wear wrap sandals like these, but for now, an ATP slipper slide for over half-off the original price is scratching every itch. I must also acknowledge the magnificence of these insane gingham oxfords.

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Ts! Just Ts!

I am unusually energized by the T-shirt world right now, perhaps because that’s what I’m wearing on top 99% of the time. My recipe for the best tee is: softness, cut, and a hint of individuality. On that note, this mock neck one with long-ish sleeves is so chic (even more so styled with a patterned bra). This contrast stitch one seems like the perfect oversized everyday one (sans bra, in my case). It also comes in a fitted version. I also like this one with words on it, and this tie-dye number to wear with sweats now and denim cutoffs later. I love this simple, fitted black tee from Acne Studios, and this fancy cinched one from Raquel Allegra. I also polled my Instagram last night to find out what the perfect tee is, and several people said this one from Jeanerica, which I also love in olive green. I can’t ignore this psychedelic turtleneck, or this argyle long sleever. And if I’m going to address turtlenecks and long sleeves, I can’t help include a few tanks. I think this ribbed one or this classic one would be great staples, though this Laura Manoogian chunky knit side slit tank is the one I actually bought for myself. Was tempted by this Rachel Comey creamsicle one too, though.

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Meet me in the comments for further discussion about what you’re interested in when it comes to shopping recommendations right now.

Feature photos via Totokaelo.

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How to End a Zoom Call, and Other Dilemmas: 9 Quarantine Etiquette Questions, Answered

Which do you want first: the good news or the bad news? The bad news is that we are having some trouble communicating these days! The good news is that we have every intention of being well-mannered. I drew these conclusions after fielding questions from the MR community and via MR’s Thoughtline for our etiquette column. The quest to answer these inquiries reminded me of one of artist Jenny Holzer’s Truisms, which has been installed on movie theatre marquees and engraved in benches, and says: “It is in your self-interest to find a way to be very tender.” Together, we navigate quarantine-era social anxieties, equal parts tender and tongue-in-cheek, below. Pinkies up!

How do you end a phone call or a Zoom when the person on the other end knows you have nowhere to be?

—Fleet-of-Foot Fletcher

Conversation termination, a covetable skill indeed. Remember that scene from the 1998 Parent Trap in which one of the twins takes a phone call in a closet and fakes a “lost connection” by crinkling a candy wrapper into the receiver? The point I’m trying to make is that this issue has plagued people since Lindsay Lohan was a pre-teen.

A few suggestions of my own:

“Well, it appears this conversation has reached its logical conclusion this evening.”

“Well, it was wonderful to hear your voice, Sebastian, I’m glad we got this opportunity to talk.”

“I have to send something for work.”

“I keep a busy schedule these days so I must be on my way.”

Over Instagram, a few other people chimed in with ideas: “Fake another Zoom call,” “Pretend you’re starving and need to cook dinner or else you’ll perish,” and “If you live with someone else, say you made plans to watch a certain movie.” Might I suggest Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell? There’s an entire scene where he sings a Wreckless Eric song with his eyes closed.

Someone else suggested wrapping things up with the phrase that is anathema to any conversation: “Well, I better get back to my taxes!” (The deadline to file was extended from April 15 to July 15.) This could be a good strategy, I think, although I did this in earnest a few weeks ago while I was filing my taxes. Then I didn’t call my friend back, and I think we’re in a fight now. Please confirm, Maxson?

I’m too tired and anxious to talk to my friends, plus I have FaceTime and Zoom fatigue, but I feel bad ignoring them.

—Distant Dolores

I feel this—I think virtual socializing is exhausting and is in some ways a greater undertaking than regular-socializing, because the pool of possibility is much more expansive… you’re not limited to the local social circle you usually pal around with! Any one of your friends in any location is available to talk! Mehta in Maryland! Daniel in Des Moines! Adelaide in Abilene! They’re all waiting by the phone. I still have friends that I haven’t arranged a time to talk with yet, and I schlep some of that guilt around my house every day.

For this, I recommend the art of deferment: just let your friends know, “I’m feeling spread pretty thin right now, but I’d love to talk next week,” or in a few weeks, something to that effect. I think you should give yourself ample space now, but here’s why I recommend an open-ended postponement: I was down in the dumps, in an uncharacteristically pessimistic and deflated mood last night. The overwhelming sense of negativity left me feeling exhausted and depleted. I had a scheduled phone call with one of my closest friends, which felt like another task to tick off my to-do list, but once our faces met side-by-side on FaceTime and we were joking about a silly thing that happened in 2013, I felt buoyant again. Never underestimate the power of the “I’m-so-glad-I-did-that-even-though-I-almost-bailed” feeling.

How to reach out to friends when you don’t like FaceTime?

—Enshrouded Ellis

We are in the middle of a correspondence crisis! We used to delineate modes of communication by use case. Now that we use e-mail and phone calls and video chats and text messages for work and for play, for maintaining our every relationship, they’re all mumbled and jumbled and any previous delineation we’ve assigned to these modes feels fairly meaningless. I love an old-fashioned phone call myself, which allows you to walk in mindless circles around your room while your friend prattles on about The Real Housewives or the dream she had last night. I recently accessed a memory I hadn’t recalled in years, of talking to my crush in the sixth grade over my landline (if that doesn’t do much for you, this Vogue story might warm you to the idea).

The other way I recommend checking in with your friends when there’s not much to catch up on and when you don’t like FaceTime: uncover the holy grail of iMessage stickers and send a funny one your friend’s way as a little nugget of levity that doesn’t require much from your friend in return. A handful I recommend: the Unicorn Tapestries, the Rejoinders, Hieronymus Bosch’s Garden of Earthly frights, Medieval Monsters or Medieval Reactions. Nothing says, “I’m thinking of you,” like an albino giraffe painted 500 years ago.

Part 1. How do you stay in touch with friends without getting annoyed by “What’s new?” Because, nothing!

—Same-old Sylvester

Let’s give ‘em somethinggggg to talk abooooouuuut, Sylvester. If you have roommates or cohabitants, designate one dinner as a themed night, as inspired by illustrator and all-around creative mastermind Lea Carey. She transformed her dining table to replicate Brooklyn’s beloved upscale burger joint Bernie’s, where they have crayons on the table and where my friend Levi once told me Adrian Grenier was sitting near us at the bar but it wasn’t him.

If not, reply to “What’s new?” with a quick “Funny, I was just going to ask you the same.” That should suffice, no?

I’m showing up late to class on Zoom. What’s a good excuse?

—Tardy Tatiana

“My dog ate my homework” seems plausible now more than ever.

How do you hang up on work calls? Do you just say, “Okay, bye?”

—Departing Daisy

“Hasta la vista, baby!”

How to encourage housemates to use headphones while taking video calls in shared space? And how do I politely tell someone I live with that they need to shower more often?

—Hygienic Holly

I find that sometimes, by making things into a joke, you can often reverse-engineer some seriousness and create some tangible change. This is why I recommend a gold-star board for your and your housemates’ achievements during quarantine. Areas to be applauded with a stellar sticker include: frequent showering, inserting their headphone jack into their computer, Swiffering with a smile. Each day that everyone in the same household gets a gold star in a category, you take a five-minute dance break. If you get five gold stars for a certain category over five consecutive days, you get a free pass to skip a shower, drink Cool Whip in your coffee, or work from bed one morning.

Neighbor’s door slamming at 6 a.m. wakes me every day. Do I leave it because these are shit times? Or should I write a note?

—Exhausted Edward

I think you should write an uber-polite note and slide it under that noisy door. Your neighbor likely has no idea that this ritual is becoming your unwanted alarm clock, and by kindly pointing it out and asking if there’s some way it might be avoided in the future, they may feel endeared to you and most of all, empathetic.

A set weekly social zoom call feels more mandatory than fun. Can I not attend?

—Requisite Richard

Spontaneity is just as valid a sensation in quarantine as out. Some people find social structure comforting; others find it claustrophobic (I err towards the latter camp myself). I suggest that you opt to join in on a biweekly or monthly cadence and just let your friends know that’s how you plan to engage. No reason necessary—you are free to carve out your available time in the same ways you were under pre-March 2020 circumstances.

Graphic by Beth Sacca.

The post How to End a Zoom Call, and Other Dilemmas: 9 Quarantine Etiquette Questions, Answered appeared first on Man Repeller.

Animals Are Returning, Nature Is Healing, and My Frozen Heart Has Thawed

“The animals are returning to their natural habitats. We are the virus.”

The first time I read this statement–or something similar–it rang with earnest hope. Since then, stories of animals returning to their natural habitats, now emptier than ever due to human self-isolation measures, have peppered the news cycle and made the internet a place of gooey, drippy, sing-songy hope. (And then of course the internet turned it into a joke that has not yet—yet!—gotten old.) And I genuinely love it.

Below I’ll enumerate some of my favorite animal-centric news from the past few weeks, and I’ll try exercise some willpower by not uttering the word “baby” or “petunia” 800 times. You’re lucky this isn’t a podcast.

1. These ducks in Sirmione, Italy, practicing duck-social-distancing, six duck-feet apart

Tell me that if you saw this little flock waddling down the street you wouldn’t be intimidated as hell. Leave the gun, take the bread crumbs.

2. These mountain lions in my family’s neighborhood in Boulder, Colorado

I got a text from my mother the other day with just “oh my gosh”–A BAD SIGN for anyone who knows Angela. When I pressed her after a few minutes of eye-twitch panic she admitted that a mountain lion had been sniffing through our front yard, done a lap in our cul de sac, and peaced. But look how cute they are!!! I was like… OK, Mom. Go watch “Tiger King,” then we’ll talk.

3. These wild turkeys in downtown Boston, Massachusetts, working the runway

Turkeys in Boston are living their best lives these days… pic.twitter.com/a1Y5WGNgvt

— Only In Boston (@OnlyInBOS) March 24, 2020

Sissy that freakin walk, my guys! For some reason all I can think of while looking at this is reputed turkey advocate Benjamin Franklinrolling over in his grave, being like “Look, you bastards!”—even though I know that whole story about him wanting to swap a turkey for our bald eagle is a myth.

4. This baby racoon boom in Riverside Park, New York

My history with raccoons is that they’ve only ever hissed at my outdoor cats and knocked over my trash cans looking for food, so often that my family, unaffectionately, refers to them as “trash pandas.” But this video of baby raccoons cautiously making their way down a stone wall just melted my stone-cold heart into a baby raccoon cuddle puddle.

5. These possums, nesting in flowering trees

When Edith sent me an email with a link to this story, the subject line was just: Possum. Reader: I’ve never clicked faster. What joy to discover incredibly pure images of large possums sitting in flowering trees near the Museum of Natural History where, on their lunch break, they can partake in self-education about their fellow mammals. Tender.

6. These goats with better hair than me, thriving in Wales

If I weren’t busy falling in love with them, I’d ask them for their haircare routine.

7. These dinosaurs, returning to Times Square

Wow. This is New York today where the city’s streets are empty and nature has returned for the first time since 65,000,000 BC.
The earth is healing, we are the virus. pic.twitter.com/UUQwgrtW7R

— St Peter (@stpeteyontweety) April 5, 2020

History is happening in Manhattan.

8. These cows, returning to the ocean

Wow. Cows are returning to the sea. Nature is healing.

I Spent A lot of Time on Twitter and Solved 6 Shopping Problems

I don’t use Twitter that much. I’m more into Instagram—mainly because that’s how I’m introduced to brands and collect styling ideas. The other day, though, Gyan brought a tweet to my attention I could not ignore. It wasn’t the usual snarky statement or meme, it was New Yorker writer Jia Tolentino asking her followers to point her toward the best pregnancy loungewear. My ears perked up because I field these kinds of questions daily on Instagram—and all of a sudden I realized that Twitter has something for me after all.

This is a strange time to answer market questions, because it seems like we’re all seeking very similar things. Usually, people ask me to address super-specific scenarios: shoes for a brother-in-law’s sister’s engagement party; the perfect dress for a date with a guy from high school; a matching set to wear to two-year-old’s birthday party at which a crush will also be in attendance. In quarantine, though, everybody has the same request: something that will make them feel comfortable. It turns out there are actually a lot of ways to answer that prompt.

So, one recent morning after I saw the Jia tweet, I decided to scour Twitter for more style questions and see what I could do to answer them. Here we go!

Tweet One: The Best Loungewear

The only thing I’m shopping for right now is luxury lounge wear plz send realistic recs???

— big habibi energy (@ashleyhefnawy) April 12, 2020

While this looks like a straightforward request, I can tell you, we are dealing with a massive category. First, I suggest starting with the loungewear du jour: a unisex matching sweatsuit. You can spring for a sensible shade of gray or opt to slather a #stickofbutter hue on your person. If you want something a little less covered up, consider a yellow sweatshirt paired with matching teeny running shorts or henley shorts and half-zip. Entireworld also makes a pair of sweatshorts with a matching sweat-tee. Back to pants, though: Leandra recommended these Live The Process ones here, and I went ahead and got them on sale. (And I’m happy to report they won’t stretch or bulge around your knees after a single wear.) If coordinating your pants to your vanilla ice cream pint is your thing, I suggest this ribbed style with a matching henley or this onesie with a drop crotch in a comfy waffle weave that Harling recently wore while documenting her current beauty routine on MR’s Instagram Story. Last but not—certainly not!—least: This simple pair of breathable leggings are the best out there, in my humble opinion. Okay, actually, one more thing… if you were holding out for something a smidge more feminine, allow me to direct you to our story on nightgowns, which features plenty of options that will do just as well as out-of-home dresses once that kind of thing is advisable.

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Tweet One and a Half: The Best Maternity Loungewear

Anyone have any luxurious loungewear recs for a person who due to pregnancy is running out of viable sweatpants

— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) April 15, 2020

Here’s Jia’s tweet. If you, too, have a bun in the oven, might I suggest these knit pants on sale at HATCH, with a matching sweater for good measure? Or ribbed maternity leggings, built for your bump? These aren’t technically maternity leggings, but I hear that if you size up by one size, they’re perfect. These joggers are suitable for pregnant and non-pregnant women alike, too. And here’s a breathable linen shirt/shorts set you can wear throughout the summer (the shorts are elastic waist). What else do we have here…? These cashmere ribbed shorts that’ll stretch over your bump, plus a matching hoodie! And this is a three-piece lounge set that I may buy, even though I’m not pregnant. Someone else told me that these Naadam cashmere pants (on sale) and these OV joggers are great while pregnant and after. Also from Naadam: Might I suggest a knit cardigan dress? Button the top buttons and let it drape over your bump like it’s peaking out of a blanket.

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Tweet Two: Good Quality Underwear

pls recommend me some online stores where i can get some cute , good quality underwear