Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 275

"I’m Trassh. With two s’s.""I’m Riottt. With...

"I’m Trassh. With two s’s."
"I’m Riottt. With three t’s."

“I sometimes see a roughness and a bitterness in people who...

“I sometimes see a roughness and a bitterness in people who don’t succeed in their dreams, and at times I can start to feel it form in myself. When a friend gets chosen for a part, I know I should be happy for their success. But a lot of times I think: ‘Why them. Why not me?’ I try to be positive, but I think that I’m bottling up a lot of anger. I feel like I’m never being seen or actually looked at. I walk through the city and I feel this tightness and so many times I just want to burst out screaming.”

“I want to be in musical theater, but it’s getting harder and...

“I want to be in musical theater, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to go to auditions. I want to make my parents proud and validate their faith in me, but every time I talk to them, they ask me if I’ve gotten a show yet, and every time I have to tell them ‘no.’ And it’s hard to not feel foolish when you keep trying something and it doesn’t work out. I have a day job to support me while I go to auditions. But now I’m working there more than I’m auditioning, and I’m scared that I’m falling into a routine. I see a lot of people settle into a routine where nothing really upsets them, but nothing really excites them either. And I’m afraid that’s happening to me.”

“He’s had so many chances. He’s overdosed twelve times. Most...

“He’s had so many chances. He’s overdosed twelve times. Most people don’t even survive one overdose. We talk pretty openly in our family about how everyone would be better off if my brother was dead. We talk about it as if it’s a small thing. It’s a little more nuanced now, because he has a three year old child. But even the child would be better off without a heroin addict for a father.”

“My brother’s been a heroin addict on and off. Mostly on. I...

“My brother’s been a heroin addict on and off. Mostly on. I never see him, but when I do, he acts like we talk all the time, and hits me up for twenty bucks. And I give it to him. Because I never know if it’s going to allow him to eat a meal or have a place to sleep. But I’m sure he spends it all on drugs. At first I was angry. Then for awhile, I was hopeful that he’d change. Now I just try to feel nothing, and the less I see him, the easier that is. My parents have gotten old quick because of him. Mom gets panic attacks and my dad is addicted to Xanax. And we have a protocol in our family, that you always have to text before calling, because otherwise we assume that he’s overdosed again.”

“We met while working on a City Council campaign in the Bronx...

“We met while working on a City Council campaign in the Bronx when we were in our twenties. He was the campaign manager. I was a volunteer. I think our candidate finished last. At the end of the campaign, we all went out together, and one of the gay volunteers told me: ‘Either you take him, or I’m going to.’ So at the end of the night, I accidentally left my bag in the back of his car, so he’d have to see me again.”

“I’ve been shy for as long as I can remember. When I was in...

“I’ve been shy for as long as I can remember. When I was in first grade, all the other kids would play sports during recess, but I’d sit alone and play with sand. I don’t think I was sad because I was a kid. I was probably having fun with my sand. Well, I was probably sad. I was probably sad all the time. But that’s how nerds are born. You spend a lot of time learning things on your own while everyone else is being social.”

“I’d probably feel more loved and respected if I was better at...

“I’d probably feel more loved and respected if I was better at conversation. When you’re good at conversation, people are always giving you feedback. People listen to you and smile and laugh at what you say. It’s easy to know that you are liked. Because I’m shy, I’m always nervous that people don’t like me. I worry that they think I’m stupid because it might seem like I don’t have anything to say. It’s especially tough in large groups, because then I don’t feel pressured and it’s easier for me to sit back and let other people talk. But then afterwards I feel like I didn’t participate, and I feel even more isolated.”

"We went to a yoga class on our first date. I’d recommend...

"We went to a yoga class on our first date. I’d recommend that to everyone, by the way. There’s never been a serial killer who enjoyed yoga. I did the research."

"I’m just waiting for summer."

"I’m just waiting for summer."