Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 238

“Alopecia is a weird disease to wrap your head around. It...

“Alopecia is a weird disease to wrap your head around.  It causes your immune system to turn against your body, and your hair falls out.   I used to have a big blond fro that was a big part of my identity.  It was hard to not get depressed when it disappeared.  I started to think: ‘What value do I have if even my body doesn’t like itself?’  As I lost more and more hair, I kept trying to comb my remaining hair over my bald spots.  Eventually I had to embrace it.  On my 20th birthday, I decided that instead of having a bunch of little bald spots that I don’t like, I’m going to give myself one big one that I do like.”

“I’m taking a break from setting goals.”

“I’m taking a break from setting goals.”

“I grew up very religious, and I was taught to think that...

“I grew up very religious, and I was taught to think that people with alternative lifestyles were just ‘confused.’  But now it seems to me that gender and sexuality are so bendable and flexible.  I’ve been going to a lot of poetry readings lately, and people present themselves in such raw forms.  And they don’t seem confused at all.  They are being so honest and transparent in their poetry.  How are you supposed to object and say that ‘who they are’ is wrong?”

“I was 16 when my girlfriend got pregnant. We went to the...

“I was 16 when my girlfriend got pregnant. We went to the abortion clinic on 59th Street. We filled out the papers and everything. Then right before we were called back, we looked at each other, and said: ‘Let’s get out of here.’”

“My mom was driving me home from school when I told her that...

“My mom was driving me home from school when I told her that my girlfriend was pregnant. She’s a taxi driver, so we were in her yellow cab. My whole body was hot because I was so nervous. When I finally told her, she pulled over to the side of the road, slapped me across the chest, and said: ‘Don’t ask me for shit anymore! It’s your time to become a man.’”

“I used to think I was just ‘go with the flow.’ Now I’m...

“I used to think I was just ‘go with the flow.’ Now I’m realizing that I can’t make a decision. But mainly just with small stuff. I can be decisive about important things, I think. Maybe.”

“I like to organize clubs. I’ve started three of them. The...

“I like to organize clubs. I’ve started three of them. The first one is called the SWANK Club, which stands for Second Wives And No Kids. That one is self-explanatory. After that, I started the ‘M’ Club. That one is all women with names that start with ‘M.’ Right now it’s me, Marilyn, Mary, and Maureen. We meet on Mondays and go to restaurants that start with ‘M.’ Then there’s the Adventure Club. I started that one with my friend Bonnie because she couldn’t be in the SWANK Club or the ‘M’ Club.”

“I’ve spent my life trying to undo habits—especially habits of...

“I’ve spent my life trying to undo habits—especially habits of thinking. They narrow your interaction with the world. They’re the phrases that come easily to your mind, like: ‘I know what I think,’ or ‘I know what I like,’ or ‘I know what’s going to happen today.’ If you just replace ‘know’ with ‘don’t know,’ then you start to move into the unknown. And that’s where the interesting stuff happens.”

“I fell in love with the first girl I dated. Then one...

“I fell in love with the first girl I dated. Then one day she told me: ‘If you were a boy, this would be perfect.’”

“She died three months ago. She seemed to be feeling better,...

“She died three months ago. She seemed to be feeling better, but suddenly she had a couple bad seizures at home and didn’t recover. I don’t know if it was an infection, or if the cancer had gotten to her brain. I wish I had done an autopsy. Because now I’ll never know.”
“Why do you need to know?”
“My psychiatrist asked me the same thing. He said he wanted to give me a pill so I wouldn’t obsess so much over Ellen’s death. I told him I don’t want a pill. I want an answer.”