Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 110

“Papa loves Ibrahim. He’s my beloved. He’s my whole world....

“Papa loves Ibrahim.  He’s my beloved.  He’s my whole world.  I have four other sons, but I love him a little more because he needs it a little more.  The doctors recommended an abortion but I wouldn’t hear it.  He was only three pounds when he was born.  He needed half a liter of milk per day.  I’d skip my own breakfast just to buy it for him.  I took him to nurseries when he was very young because I wanted him to be comfortable with other children.  I found a charity that offered speech classes, and I took him five days a week.  Anything that I have, I will give him.  I only worry what will happen when I’m gone.  I’m getting old.  I had a major heart episode two weeks ago.  I collapsed in the street and all I could think about was him.  My wife can’t support him alone, and I’m afraid other people won’t be as nice to him.  If someone makes him angry, he’s very difficult to control.  But I have patience.  I’ll hold him.  I’ll pat him on the shoulder.  I’ll do whatever he needs.  I just hope he’ll always have someone to do the same.”
(Cairo, Egypt)

“People scream from their balconies, ‘Don’t play here!’ But...

“People scream from their balconies, ‘Don’t play here!’  But where else are we supposed to play?  And they tell us: ‘Don’t play so loud!’  But how do you play not loud?”
(Cairo, Egypt)

“My father was very strict with us. His workshop was across...

“My father was very strict with us.  His workshop was across the street from our apartment building, and he’d scream if he saw us peeking out the window.  It was like a prison.  We’d just stay at home, make him tea and food, and watch TV.  Back then it was mostly black and white movies staring Egyptian icons.  My favorites were the love stories.  But it was just a fantasy for me, because my father swatted away all my suitors.  During that time I fell in love with my grandmother’s neighbor.  He was tall, light-skinned, and wore his hair combed back.  I’d pretend to visit her just so I could see him.  I’d wear my loveliest dresses, get my hair done, and stand outside his window. He’d always smile at me.  I was pretty myself back then.  I loved him.  And he loved me.  He told my friend that he wanted to marry me.  But my father married me off to my cousin, and that’s when the tragedy began.  I gave birth to one child after another.  I’ve had to work full time because my husband is so useless.  He’s a total bum.  But I still live next door to my first love.  He has a university degree.  And every time he sees me, he smiles.”  
(Cairo, Egypt)

“My son was crazy about a woman. He spent a bunch of money on...

“My son was crazy about a woman.  He spent a bunch of money on her.  He even asked her to marry him.  But she didn’t want him and it drove him mad.  He stopped going to work.  His clothes became ripped and his beard grew long.  He looked like someone you’d see in the street.  His personality changed too.  He grew aggressive.  He thought everyone was trying to fight him.  It broke my heart.  It felt like my son was slipping away.  He was only thirty and had given up on the world.  Everyone told me he was cursed.  I tried everything.  I prayed to God.  I went to mosques.  I went to spiritual advisors.  I gave money to psychics, but nothing worked.  Then one day I was sitting in this very spot, and a doctor stopped to visit.  He asked me what was wrong.  I told him everything, and he asked to see my son.  I’ll never forget that day.  That man is the reason for everything good in my life.  He brought my son back to me.  My son is taking medicine now.  He’s working.  He’s shaved.  He’s laughing again.  I still believe that God is the one who healed him.  But thank God for good doctors.”
(Cairo, Egypt)

“We keep waiting for her to turn 78. For the last twenty years...

“We keep waiting for her to turn 78.  For the last twenty years she’s been telling people that she’s 77.  It got a little awkward when some of her kids reached their seventies.  We told her, ‘Mom, it’s going to seem like you gave birth when you were five.’  But she didn’t care.  She’d rationalize it by saying: ’77 is the age I feel.’  She fell and broke her hip two months ago.  But until then she’d always been extremely active.  She’d meet her friends for coffee.  She was on the board of two charities.  She was always alert and kept her sense of humor.  After the accident I drove her to the hospital, and I couldn’t convince her that we needed to tell the doctor she was 97.  And when she finally agreed, she wasn’t too happy about it.”  
(Cairo, Egypt)

“It was basic self-defense. He threw a big ass rock at me....

“It was basic self-defense.  He threw a big ass rock at me.  Like half a brick.  So I beat him, took his bike, and took his sneakers.  His jaw got wired.  He ended up in some sort of group home.  I was seventeen at the time but, yeah, I’m proud of it.  Technically I was defending myself, but the judge didn’t see it like that.  I was defending my pride.  I was defending my ego.  They gave me seven years.  Now I can’t even get a job.  That bitch ruined my life.  I don’t know why he had to call the police.  He was a rat.  He snitched.  I’d never call the police if that happened to me.  That’s not what you do.  If you’ve got a problem, you just find the guy and fuck him up.”

Once when I was fourteen I was getting on the Q Train in...

Once when I was fourteen I was getting on the Q Train in Brooklyn.  It was two o’clock in the afternoon.  I was going to a friend’s house.  I swiped my card quickly because the train was coming.  And as I ran to catch it, an undercover police officer just grabbed me.  I remember he was wearing a Jake Plummer Michigan football jersey.  I told him that I’d paid my fare.  I told him he could check my card.  But he pushed me against the wall and started searching through my stuff.  I’ve probably been searched about half a dozen times in my life.  So I don’t have a lot of faith in the system.  I know a lot of people in prison are just unlucky.  Right now I’m finishing up my Masters’ in accounting and my goal is to own my tax firm.  I’d love to employ formally incarcerated individuals one day.  It’s so hard for them to find employment, but I can teach them to do taxes.  It’s something anyone can learn.  They can provide an excellent service, and their history wouldn’t make a difference.”

“Social media isn’t evil. There are neuroscientists in some...

“Social media isn’t evil.  There are neuroscientists in some of these companies, but for the most part I don’t think it was done maliciously.  But advertising is the business model.  And if advertising is the business model, our attention becomes the product.  Two variables matter to the bottom line: the amount of users and the amount of time they spend on platform.  And what gets measured gets optimized.  So our phones have become slot machines.  We scroll and scroll and scroll, and eventually we hit something that gives us a dopamine reward.  It’s by design.  Because slot machines make more money in the US than theme parks, baseball, and movies combined.  Both Vegas and Silicon Valley know that our brains can be manipulated if presented with a certain set of choices.  Obviously addictiveness isn’t the only feature of these platforms. They’ve empowered so many voices.  I’d just love to live in a world where our most influential technology didn’t measure its success by the time it took from us.”

“I thought I could resist the rat race. I thought: ‘I’m a...

“I thought I could resist the rat race.  I thought: ‘I’m a unique guy.  I like to mix things up.’  So I fought it for a long time.  I stayed up past my bedtime.  I listened to music really loud in the morning.  I rode my bike to work.  I always tried to find new places for lunch.  I joined a softball team.  I went to concerts on weeknights.  But I just got tired.  I ended up staying later at the office.  And I fell into a rhythm: come home, watch TV, and go to sleep.  I’m not sure I can do this for the next forty years.  I just miss waking up and not knowing what’s going to happen.  It’s never explicitly said to you that you need to live on your own, and have a good life, and meet someone, and have kids, and have those kids be more successful than you are.  But you feel the pressure all the time.  You feel it every time someone asks how your job is going.  Right now everyone in this park is taking a break from the thing they have to get back to.  It’s comforting in a way.  There’s a sense of solidarity in it.  We’re all feeling the same obligation.”

“My grandmother was the first in our family to discover it. One...

“My grandmother was the first in our family to discover it.  One day she joined a meditation in the park.  She was taking so many medications at the time, but she threw them all away and never took another trip to the hospital.  That was before the crackdown.  At one time were one hundred million followers of Falun Gong in China.  It’s a peaceful religion.  But the following grew too big.  Our teacher seemed like a threat to the government.  They said crazy things on state media.  They called it a cult.  They said we’re terrorists and that we kill our parents.  They began to arrest us.  They even harvested our organs.  I know it sounds crazy, but you can Google it.  We tried to resist.  We practiced inside our home.  We secretly handed out fliers to push back against the propaganda.  But they caught me on camera.  Everywhere there are cameras.  They followed me to my home.  They shoved me in their car.  For eight months I was in detention.  The first thing they did was take a sample of my blood.  For hours every day they put us in a room and forced us to watch television about how to be a good citizen.  If anyone looked away, the whole group was punished.  Eventually my family bribed the court with huge money and they let me go.  But for three years I had to write a letter every month saying that I am a guilty person.  When my probation ended, I left the country.”