Stuart R. West's Blog, page 52

The Secret Origin of Kobal!

My first Samhain book, Demon with a Comb-Over, had a curious beginning, befitting its strange otherworldly nature. And contrary to the title, it's not about Donald Trump.
When I first started writing Demon, all I knew is that it’d be about a failing stand-up comedian who makes the huge mistake of heckling a demon. One with a comb-over. I needed a name for the demon, though.  A darkly appropriate, amusing, yet foreboding name.
Delving into intense research (um, Wikipedia), I found a long list of demonic names (who compiles these lists, anyway? Moreover…why?). Instead of beginning with the letter “A”—the way I’ve chosen some names in the past—I jumped to “K,” a nice middle-set letter. 
Kobal.
Name sounded good. I read on. Couldn’t believe it. “The demon prince of mockery; the archangel of laughter.” Perfect. First  time out. Fit the tale beautifully.
Now. I’m not one to believe in paranormal situations, supernatural circumstances. But if I didn’t know better, I’d think that Kobal had been leading me to his name. He wants his story told.
His name is Kobal. Fear him. But never, ever mock him.
Demon with a Comb-Over by Stuart R. West. 

Assteroid Apocalypse!

I have a secret. A dirty, dark secret. For twenty years, I've been living a lie. I've been putting on a happy front but have been covertly living in agony.

Hemorrhoids .

Okay, let's all get it out in the open, have a chuckle or two about it. Hang on a minute, I have a picture from my ANALysis here somewhere...

You know what it's like to sit on razor blades? I do!

Why, you ask, have I suffered in silence for twenty years without doing a dang thing about it? Chalk it up to stupid male pride. And embarrassment. I mean, honestly, who wants to 'fess up to having bottom issues? Even worse, spreading cheeks wide for a stranger. Gah. Besides, when I'm on the slender side of things, the pain subsides. But, human yo-yo that I am and currently tipping the scales again, the pain came raging back. With a fiery, itchy vengeance.

I thought to myself, "Hmm. Something's not right down south."

So. After much cajoling from my wife and constant burning torture, I bit the bullet. Made an appointment with a rectal specialist. (And what a thankless job that's gotta be, right?)

Here's the thing...I was expecting a mean, round, elderly doctor. Who wouldn't be dour after looking at troubled arses year round? Alas, she was younger, nearly a super-model. Uh-oh. I didn't sign up for that.

With great hesitation, I dropped trou. The doctor then brought in her entourage, two other women. More women came in, nurses, receptionists, next door neighbors, gawkers. I think even the janitor moseyed in.

"Hey, you gotta check out this guy's butt, Allison! It's one for the record book!"

A party! Everyone checking out my bottom. Just, you know, not in a good way. I was prodded, poked, probed, pickled and deeply mortified. The physical pain was unbearable. But when the doctor exclaimed, "Oh!" things took a decided turn toward the dark side (not my dark side, but...ah, never mind).

Ladies and gentlemen, I hit the anal trifecta! Huzzah! The doctor was frankly stymied, said it was unusual for anyone to have the three--three, count 'em, three!--arse trauma issues I suffered.

I won't bludgeon you with the gory details. (Where are those damn photos?) But, through the miracle of modern science and operations, over the months to come I should make a recovery. Don't know if my fragile male ego will, though.

Click here for thrills, chills, spills and good deals!

How in the World Did I Kill Abe Vigoda?

You heard me right.

But, please, readers, before you judge me too harshly, allow me to present my case to you...
Not too long ago, my wife and I were discussing Abe Vigoda. Not really sure why. It's not like he comes up a lot in daily conversation.

I asked, "When did Abe Vigoda die?"

"I think he's still alive," my wife replied.

Immediately, I flashed back to childhood years, watching
Barney Miller episodes. "That can't be! He looked like a walking corpse back in 1974! He was like...what, 90, or something! Just not possible."

My wife's fingers flew across her IPad as she searched for proof. "Yep. Says he's still alive."

"Huh," I said.

Two days later, Abe Vigoda died.

I know, I know, right? Clearly, I don't know the extent of my full-on psychic powers. But it was an accident! I swear! I didn't even know Mr. Vigoda, let alone wish him harm. 

My wife and I held a small memorial. Mostly to assuage my guilt. 

I'm not even going to tell you how we discussed David Bowie's new CD and how old he was. We all know how that ended. To which I'm incredibly sorry.

So, my wife says, "We've really got to quit talking about celebrities."

I thought about it, said, "What about Trump? Can we talk about Trump? Lots and lotsa talk about Trump?"

"Let's talk about Trump!"

CLICK HERE TO ORDER!

Vacuum Wars

Little did I know how my life would change when I took the vacuum cleaner in to be fixed. A tale of woe and caution...
The store was a little one, a neighborhood joint. I always like to give business to "Mom & Pop shops." 

For you see my vacuum sucked, just not the right way. So in I went.

"Hmm, looks like you have 'The Boss.' Someone likes Springsteen," said the vacuum guy.

"Yeah, but this baby's not born to run."

I slayed. The vacuum guy laughed and laughed and laughed. Off to a killer start. But horrors awaited.

After a month of not hearing from them, I visited the store. Problem is they're never open. Weird hours. Only open Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 10-4. And even during those times, the guy still wouldn't open the door for me. I visited, lurked, waited. Closed. Always.

I called. Got "Dave" in the warehouse. Speaking in an indecipherable foreign accent straight out of creaky Frankenstein movies.

"Hello! Yes! Yes! This is Dave!"
"Um, hi, Dave, I have a vacuum with you guys, been there for a month. It's 'The Boss,' and I..."

"Yes, yes, $89 dollars! But I'll sell you a new one, better than Walmarts!"

"Well, thanks anyway, but let's just fix the old one."

"Yes, yes!"

Another month passes. No word. I call again and get Ygor in the warehouse cavern again.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm glad you called. We lost the ticket. Runs like new!"

Two days later, I pick it up. Then notice, after the fact, all of the arm extension and accessories are missing.

"Dave (which is a weird name for a clearly European mad doctor), I'm not happy," I tell him. "All of the accessories are missing."

"Yes, yes, yes! I knew I should've never taken on this job! I knew it! You should've bought a new vacuum! I told you so!"

Huh. So much for the customer is always right.  I let him know this.

"You're crazy! I spent too much time fixing this! You should've bought the new vacuum! I told you this! I told you to buy the new vacuum. Cheaper than Walmarts!  Yes! Yes! I don't want to argue, but..."

That's all Dave did was argue. Finally, he said he'd give me new extensions. But I'm kinda afraid to go pick them up.

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE!

52 Likes with Medeia Sharif

Today I'm featuring Medeia Sharif, the talented author of the gritty YA book, 52 Likes. I'll let Mr. Synopsis give you a taste before the interview begins:
After a brutal rape and near-murder, Valerie wants to get past feelings of victimhood from both the assault and her history of being bullied. Not knowing the identity of her masked rapist and dealing with the nasty rumors about that night are two things that plague her daily.

Valerie will have to follow ghostly entities, past victims of the rapist-murderer, contacting her through a social media site. Why do all of their eerie photos have 52 likes under them? Their messages are leading her to the mystery man, although he’ll put up a fight to remain hidden. 
SRW: Medeia, in 52 Likes, you tackle a tough topic in rape. While it was grueling to read the first chapter (although expertly done), I think you perfectly captured the various stages and emotions a rape survivor (I won't call Valerie, your protagonist, a "victim"; I don't think she'd like to see herself that way.) goes through. Did you do heavy research, talk to survivors? It really rings true.
MS: Thank you, Stuart. I rewatched some movies that involved rape—like “The Accused”—and read plenty of articles and message boards about rape survivors. It wasn’t fun and put me in a dark place in my mind, but I wanted to get 52 LIKES right in that aspect.
SRW: There also seems to be an anti social-media theme going through the book, one that makes cyber-bullying for teens that much easier. And more anonymous (I take this theme to task as well in my Tex, the Witch Boy series). While I know social media is a must for authors to build a readership, do you feel it does more damage than good?
MS: I think it’s great for people who use it to keep in touch and connect. I’ve had people try to bait me online, but because I’m an older person who can walk away and ignore, I believe no one can hurt me through social media. For young people who aren’t discreet with information and pictures and with the way they take things to heart, I’ve encountered teens who’ve been damaged by it.
SRW: I was surprised to see your book segue into a mystery and particularly, a ghost story! I had thought it was going to be a gritty, modern-day, downer drama (albeit it, a very well done one). Did you have this in mind from the beginning or did it evolve naturally?
MS: I’m a plotter. I had the opening scene in mind and knew I wanted a young woman to figure out who her rapist is, so the mystery was there all along. As I outlined, the ghosts came naturally into the story.
SRW: Your dedication contains a message I never tire of. "Things get better." A simple, yet powerful, statement. Without that belief, the lives of rape survivors, the bullied, the downtrodden teens would be very hard to confront. Is that the sentiment you want your readers to carry away from the book?
MS: Absolutely. We’ve all been distressed by something—assault, death of a loved one, and anything else that batters us emotionally—and although it seems like everything for a while, we need to know that we can get past these issues and life does get better.
SRW: Okay, I thought I was up on teen trends and what not (my daughter's a recent survivor of high school hell). But your tale had a couple of new items I've never heard of. First of all, what's a "thot (and please, keep it relatively PG. Lol.)?" Second, it's been some time since I darkened a high school hallway, of course, but I don't remember the guys splashing awful cologne on themselves as liberally as the male characters in your book do. What's up with that?
MS: “Thot” is new slang for “slut” and “whore.” Around the time that I wrote the book, I heard it a lot in my parts. I’ve met some young men who do wear an insane amount of cologne. Even if the other boys in a room aren’t wearing any, they certainly make up for that. Maybe it’s just them finding their style, in the same way some young women wear too much makeup or the wrong colors until they find what’s right for them. I don’t recall all the cologne when I myself was growing up.
SRW: In my (and my daughter's) high school experiences, bullying pretty much was kept solidly on the same sex lines: boys bullied boys, girls bullied girls. In 52 Likes, poor Valerie's worst bullies are all boys. (I love how she gives back to them, adopting a tough girl persona). Do you see this as true these days? Is it based on your own experiences? Or does bullying not know gender lines?
MS: I don’t think it knows any gender lines. Bullies can go on relentlessly about something they dislike about someone, male or female. Although it usually is same sex, I’ve seen bullying opposite sex.
SRW: I enjoyed the ghost story element of your tale. Kinda creepy, neck hair raising stuff. Have you considered writing a straight-up supernatural spook tale?
MS: Yes. I’m always trying to stretch myself by writing in different genres. I’ve also had ideas for supernatural tales, but I haven’t drafted them yet.
SRW: Tell everyone about your other books. And what's up next for Medeia?
MS: I have three “light” contemporary YA books entitled BESTEST. RAMADAN. EVER., HOT PINK IN THE CITY, and SNIP, SNIP REVENGE. My dark contemporary YA is VITAMINS AND DEATH. I have one published middle grade, THE ATTIC OF SAND AND SECRETS. My soon-to-be-published book coming out this spring is a horror middle grade, THE HAUNTED STEPSISTER, that’s multicultural and centers around a girl who needs an exorcism.  
SRW: Thanks so much, Medeia, for visiting. Now everyone go out and get 52 Likes. It's a powerful work.
Media Sharif Amazon Page

STRIKE: Killers Incorporated, Book #2!

AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE...NOW!

The killers are back in town.

Leon Garber’s an accountant and occasional assassin.  But he’s one of the good guys.  See, Leon’s only interested in taking out abusers. He’s not the only serial killer on a mission, though. His past employer, Like Minded Individuals, Inc. (LMI for short), employs quite a few. 

Mostly, Leon was a model employee. Or at least, he was until that little falling-out he had with them last year.  Now he’s got a target on his back.  He’s seriously out-numbered, but even worse, LMI has hired Leon’s former associate, Cody Spangler, to track him down. Unfortunately for Leon, someone else from Leon’s past, someone he never wanted to see again, has other ideas for Leon’s welfare. 
But now’s the time to strike. Old allies and dangerous new acquaintances join together to fight back. A team of disgruntled killers have banded together. The operative? Take down LMI. Or die trying.

Strike: Killers Incorporated Book #2

Serial killers have never been so much fun. Trust me. Many more dysfunctional and nutty characters are introduced: Nanette, the black widow; The I-35 Vampire; The Dobermann Pincher; Mr. Sensitivity; Bug; and, of course, my favorite: The Man with the Shoebox.

BOOK #ONE AVAILABLE HERE!If you haven't already, get in on the ground floor with the first book, Secret Society. The only book to come with a "punch in the face" guarantee!* That's right! If you don't like Secret Society, I'll come to your house and you can punch me in the face!*
*Disclaimer: The reader must live within a one block range of said author's residence. Traveling is expensive. Plus, as much as I love this book, I also kinda like my face. Warning: Don't read Secret Society while driving heavy machinery. Don't mix prescription drugs with Secret Society. If drowsiness ensues, then you're not reading Secret Society. Pregnant women should not read Secret Society unless consulting me first and I say it's okay. If a rash persists while reading Secret Society, call your doctor and tell him to read Secret Society.

Everything Witches and Curses with Catherine Cavendish

Recently, I read and enjoyed Catherine Cavendish’s The Pendle Curse. The book is sprawling with ambition and crawling with ghosts and witches. As soon as I finished it, I knew I wanted to get Catherine over here to Twisted Tales from Tornado Alley and grill her. I’ve got questions…man, have I got questions…

SRW: Welcome Catherine! Thanks for walking into my inquisition chambers.

CC: My pleasure. I do so love a grand inquisition!

SRW: Tell everyone a little bit about The Pendle Curse.

CC: Happy to. 400 years ago, in the bleak windswept and frequently stormy countryside of Pendle in Lancashire, England, ten men and women were hanged as witches. In my story, they come back, with scores to settle. In the present day, a young woman is haunted by dreams of a distinctive landscape and even more distinctive hill. It seems so real to her she searches for it on the internet – and finds it. Naturally, she must go there and see it for herself. Once there, events overtake her. She is caught up in a web of witchcraft and evil...and a curse that will not die. 

SRW: Okay. While reading the tale, I kept wondering something…Catherine, are you a witch?

CC: Er – no. Although I do have a broomstick.

SRW: Sorry! Didn’t mean to “Geraldo” you right off the bat. But one thing I love about The Pendle Curse is the nonchalant way you drop in tidbits and background about witches without feeling the need to handhold the reader and walk them through it. Guess I’m just saying you have a natural affinity for witchdom and pull it off with grace and ease.

CC: That’s very kind of you to say so. Although The Pendle Curse is loosely based on fact, I didn’t want to give everyone a history lesson and send them all off to sleep.

SRW: At the end of chapter two, there’s a true shocker, one that knocked this jaded ol’ reader outta his seat. I won’t spoil it here (it’s part of the “Curse,” after all), but it certainly forms the story-line of the book, both past and present.  I really liked getting a jolt upfront instead of having to wait for it. Was this intentional? Or did you make it so to propel the story-line? 

CC: Both. I like to jolt my readers, and scare them. I think it’s also vital to keep moving the story along and a sudden shock usually achieves that. Glad it worked for you!

SRW: Continuing along the same lines, how do you, the author, see the character of James?

CC: James is a complex character. He is intensely loyal to his family, and anyone who harms them better watch out. He is a powerful witch, well versed in the dark arts he has learned from his mother and grandmother. He is obsessive, ruthless and capable of extreme cruelty without a second thought. James will do anything to get what he wants and, having made a vow, nothing – not even death – will break it.

SRW: To be quite honest, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. Actually, that’s not true, my opinion of him changed throughout the book.  Several times.  Very nice job of writing.  
How do you categorize The Pendle Curse? Is it a horror tale, a ghost story, a romance? All of the above? Which is most important to the tale?

CC:  It’s a horror story – with witches. Real witches. Nothing sparkly about this lot!

SRW: The romance angle…again, I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. (It’s hard to talk about this angle without giving away major spoilers!) There’re two concurrent romances going on in the book: Laura’s in the present and James’ in the past. I’m onboard with the present, shipping away (well, until we get further in). But the past love story? Not so much.  How do you feel about James’ love story?

CC: As you say, it is difficult to talk about James’ passionate feelings without giving too much away. I will say that he is obsessed. Totally, 100% obsessed – and that’s unhealthy.

SRW:  There are clear-cut villains in your tale. And some people who tread the line between good and evil. Just when I start liking James, he uses witchcraft for nefarious purposes. I’m a fan of the color grey in characters. But James presented a peculiar case. Imminently rootable, yet…a little scary, not very trustworthy. A romantic though, ladies. Catherine, what’s your take?

CC: It’s interesting you see him as a romantic. I don’t really. It’s that obsession thing again. It drives him to do anything and everything to achieve his goal. Anyone who stands in his way will be eliminated.

SRW: My favorite scenes are when Laura, the modern day protagonist, is investigating Pendle Hill. There’s a wonderfully paranoid sense of “what the hell’s going on here?” as she visits with creepy old women who may, or may not, know more than they’re letting on. Reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby and other great past paranoia-driven supernatural thrillers, the scenes are masterfully written. And more than once, the ghostly aspects of the book brought to mind great ghost tales of the past: a little M.R. James, possibly some Shirley Jackson. Are you a fan of these books? What other writers inspire you?

CC: Thank you for those lovely compliments. I don’t often blush but you’ve made my cheeks all pink! Yes, I am a huge fan of M.R. James and Shirley Jackson. I love that creepy, ghostly, something-lurking-in-the-shadows kind of horror. My other favourites are Stephen King (I know. Predictable!), Anne Rice (she writes great witches), Ramsey Campbell, Richard Matheson, and some newer writers such as Ronald Malfi, Russell James, Hunter Shea, JG Faherty, Sephera Giron… the list keeps growing. There is some great emerging talent out there.

SRW: Okay, tell us a little bit about your other works. And where the reader can find them.

CC: I have written a number of novels and novellas – a lot of them with a Gothic flavour. Ghosts and demons feature frequently and I do love visiting the past. Prior to The Pendle Curse, my novel Saving Grace Devine was partially set early last century. My next novel – The Devil’s Serenade – will be published by Samhain in April and is set in a brooding Gothic mansion which has been infested by evil, thanks to its builder, Nathaniel Hargest. He has been dead for many years, but his demonic spirit lives on. 

My novels are published in print as well as ebook, and The Pendle Curse is also available on audio. All can be found on my Amazon page as well as Barnes and Noble, Kobo and the usual online bookstores. Those published by Samhain can also be found on my publisher’s page, by clicking here.

SRW: What’s next darkening your keyboard, Catherine?

CC: After The Devil’s Serenade comes Wrath of the Ancients, scheduled for publication in December 2016. This one is set in Vienna, Austria. Adeline Ogilvy, a young widow from London, goes there on an assignment to type up the memoirs of the deceased archaeologist Dr. Emeryk Quintillus. To do so, she must reside in his house but, from the moment she arrives, she discovers this is far from the fantastic opportunity she had been anticipating.  She hears strange noises from behind the walls, sees shadowy figures that cannot be there, hieroglyphics that appear on the wall, and finds an enigmatic portrait of a long dead Egyptian queen. As Adeline types the pages of his manuscript, she discovers he dug up far more than just a famous mummy. Increasingly fearful, she calls on an old and learned friend for help, only to find he confirms her worst suspicions—and more.

SRW: Thanks much for being my latest victim, Catherine. Readers! Get thee busy and find her books at:
Samhain Publishing
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Catherine Cavendish

CC: Thank you for being such an excellent host!

Yolanda Renee's Murder & Obsession: Cover Reveal!

COVER REVEAL MURDER & OBSESSIONFlames burn between a hardboiled cop and a gifted artist, but soon extinguish as another man’s obsession ignites into an inferno of desire, driving him to destroy the object of his madness.To be Released March, 10 2016 As wedding bells echo like the ring of toasting champagne glasses in the ice carved mountains of Anchorage Alaska, detective Steven Quaid rehabs his grandfather’s cabin into a honeymoon cottage for his new bride.

When he returns from a hunting trip, Steven’s faced with five police officers, who “Want to talk.” Plagued by two unsolved murders, the Department is searching for answers.

The conversation comes to a deafening halt as the team finds a bloody crime scene in the bridal suite. "Where's her body?" is a question Steven cannot fathom.
  Steven’s jaw clenches and his heart races. Images of Sarah streak through his mind. 

The silence breaks as an explosion of accusations vibrate through every fiber of his being. 

Steven bolts…

Although running is never the smart thing to do, Steven’s not thinking clearly and his escape into the wilderness of the Brooks Range proves almost fatal. 

This Steven Quaid mystery is both personal and heartbreaking.*****   Yolanda Renee At one time Alaska called to me and I answered. I learned to sleep under the midnight sun, survive in below zero temperatures, and hike the Mountain Ranges. I've traveled from Prudhoe Bay to Valdez, and the memories are some of my most valued. The wonders, mysteries, and incredible beauty that is Alaska has never left me and thus now influence my writing.Despite my adventurous spirit, I achieved my educational goals, married, and I have two wonderful sons. Writing is now my focus, my newest adventure!
You can find Yolanda at:Blog: Defending the Pen Facebook Twitter  Pinterest   Amazon New Covers: Murder, Madness & Love After a gritty detective becomes involved with a beautiful widow suspected of murder, rumor and obsession obstruct his quest for justice. Memories of Murder World damnation is a psychotic man’s goal, but two obstacles stand in his way, greed and a dedicated detective. 

Sporing up the dead with Tamara Jones

Give a big hollah to Tamara Jones, author of the wickedly wild and wooly horror epic, Spore.


TJ: Hollah back! Thanks for having me. :)


SRW: Okay, Tamara, let’s talk turkey. Spore is a zombie book, yet not.  It’s creepy in a good way, but doesn’t deal with brain-eating zombies. Tell everyone what the book’s about. And don’t be boring about it. Cause the book’s anything but boring.

TJ: The elevator pitch version is SPORE's about people who used to be dead and the comic artist who tries to save them. To expand a bit more, Sean Casey, a haunted, financially struggling artist, becomes the focus of community - and ultimately global - panic and desperation after dead people return to life due to a fungus in the water table. If the dead rising wasn't bad enough, one of the 'Spores' was a murder victim whose killer wants her to resume being dead, and someone else is killing children in ways that match Sean's worsening nightmares. 

SRW: Your protagonist is a foul-mouthed comic book artist. Cool! How has your background as an artist helped to form the book?

TJ: Actually, not as much as you might think. I was a graphic designer who mostly created retail packaging and corporate advertising. I had to research comic drawing just as much as any other topic for a novel. About my only freebie was knowing what the tools are, since I'd used many of them in college. The job itself - and Sean's frustrations with it - came straight from research and talking to comic people.

SRW: I have an affinity with you, my friend. I slaved away for 25 years in the art/corporate world. Enough was enough. I quit. Are you still toiling in the art world? 

TJ: Absolutely not. I do some of my own ad work, and I made the social media Chapter Graphics in the print version of the novel. That's about it.

SRW: What I really liked about Spore was the satirical elements regarding the fringe groups surrounding the revived. Lots of groups forming. Do you think this is a reality?

TJ: I think it very well could be. While we - as both a species and a nation - have always had splinter groups, factions, and protesters, social media has really amplified the ability to group with your own 'tribe'. Major events - like people coming back to life - only amplify that clumping together of like-minded individuals. It was fun dumping the various shouting, and often conflicting, factions into Sean's life.

SRW: So if the dead start coming back to life, what’s the first thing you’re gonna do?

TJ: A lot depends on how they are at arrival. If they're brain eating zombies, I'd hole up, grab a baseball bat, and wait it out as best as possible. If they're like the Spores, I'd probably be one of the people holding signs welcoming them back.

SRW: Spore, in my opinion, was more of a sci-fi tinged thriller than straight-up horror. Is that how you position yourself as an author?

TJ: Generally speaking, yes. I'm a speculative thriller author. 

SRW: I liked the easy-going, sexy nature of the two protagonist’s relationship. Based on reality? Can we expect a romance from you?

TJ: I'm not sure which of the protagonists you're talking about - Sean and Mare? Some of their relationship is like mine with my husband, only the roles are reversed. He's the no-nonsense, stalwart one, I'm the idealistic artist type. If you're talking about the other two, they're completely different from my life. As for a romance novel? I'm not ruling anything out, but it's not likely. That's not where my skill set lies.

SRW: Good!
My wife’s a scientist. She took you to task about the title, “Spore.” Because she said it truly wasn’t about “spores.” Feedback?

TJ: Well, it is, obliquely, about a spreading fungus (spreading panic, Sean's ever-increasing nightmares infecting his life, etc), and the people are called 'spores', so for me - and my editor - the title works. Are they actually reproductive bodies or seeds that grow new organisms? No. Of course not. They're people. ;)

SRW: I enjoyed the subplot about the spored woman coming back to life. Sorta made it feel epic. Plus, we don’t usually get tertiary tales about characters like that. Very well done, Tamara. Was this something you always had in mind, or did it develop organically? Sporically?

TJ: Sporically? lol All of my books include intertwined yet independent story lines and I try to use them to show other sides of the main story that the primary protagonist doesn't see or experience. I think it gives a rounder, more layered experience. Plus it's just how my brain works. This character, and her journey, weren't specifically planned as much as unearthed as the story unfolded. I knew her name, and that she'd been killed but came back. The rest was a surprise.

SRW: You told me there’s a graphic novel coming out based on the protagonist, Sean’s, work. This sounds uber-cool. Fill us in.

TJ: GhoulBane(the comic Sean draws throughout the novel) was picked up by Cohesion Press last summer. An 80-page graphic novel, GhoulBane - Attack on Minos, written by me and illustrated by Monty Borror, will be available worldwide sometime later this year (I don't have a release date yet). It's violent, funny, and a bit snarky. Very fun to write!

SRW: I wanna read more of your books. What’s your hawt genre? What have you written? What’s firing up your keyboard now?

TJ: I write Forensic Fantasy novels (aka The Dubric Byerly Mysteries) for Bantam as Tamara Siler Jones, so you can pick up Ghosts in the Snow, Threads of Malice, and Valley of the Soul pretty much anywhere. I have some ebook original short stories too, SPORE, GhoulBane coming up, and my agent's shopping around a quirky women's fiction thriller along with another graphic novel based within the Dubric universe. After that, I don't know. I have several things in progress including a book about two kids with special powers on the run from a murder rap and an assassin, and another Dubric novel about an arsonist. Everything else is still in the planning stage. You can check out my entire bibliography and read sample chapters at http://www.tamara-jones.net/

SRW: There you go, folks. Check out Spore. It’s very good.


Thanks for having me!


Website: http://www.tamara-jones.net/
Amazon Page: http://www.amazon.com/Tamara-Siler-Jo...
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/tamar...
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tamarasilerj...
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/tambojones
G+: http://gplus.to/tambo

Hippie Check-Out Girl

I used to hate going to the grocery store with my wife. But that's all changed. There's a check-out girl that makes going to the store seem like a trip to Disneyland. She wears plastic flowers in her hair. A 70's styled-blouse balloons over her apron, the chaotic colors of the Scooby-Doo van. Unfortunately I was out of town over Christmas, but I just knew--absolutely so--she would be wearing antlers and a red nose.
But it's her endless patter that's the best: caffeine fueled, breathy and full of sing-songy cadences.

"What's a good-looking couple like you doing out on a day like this?" 

"Buying some stewed tomatoes for my mother," I answered.

"That sounds like an absolutely wonderful thing to do. You must be a very good son. And these stewed tomatoes are great."
 
My wife was dumb-founded, said nothing. But I wanted to keep the good times rolling, rocking with the early '70's.

"Oh, you've got some of the great sushi here," she said. "I recommend this one." Pokity-poke went her finger into the plastic cover. "Good for you, too. It's a shame not more people eat healthy. Honestly, I believe that we'd be a much healthier, happier country. I mean, is it too much to ask..."

She went on and on while I stood, fully enraptured.

At the end of our first encounter, she sang some sorta jingle. Told us to have a "wonderfully, blessed day."

Service like this, I don't usually expect. 

And then my glorious encounter ended on a glum note. The bag boy (baggist? bagger?) was sullen, the dark flipside of hippy girl, staring at me with stoned eyes.

"Thanks," I told him.

"Yeah, whatever, man." He looked at me, considering his follow-up. "Have a nice night." Then his gaze wandered outside. "Or day. Whatever. Just as long as you have a good."

Not only couldn't he get the time of day right, but he was night to Miss Glory Hippie's day.

My wife threw down the gauntlet and swore she'd never get in Miss Glory's line again. I, on the other hand, search her out every time I grocer.

Nothing changes in her sparkly, psychedelic, unicorn world. Always ready with a wonderful compliment. Makes me feel proud to purchase pork. But I have to wonder how does a kid become a hippy in the self-entitled, self-indulgent 21st century?

If it were up to me, in a grocery-store democracy, I'd vote her in as "Employee of the Decade." Just a few decades removed.

Speaking of hippies, there're two of 'em in my new comedy mystery, Bad Day in a Banana Hammock.  Along with a buncha other strange characters. Just sayin'.