Ailsa Abraham's Blog: Ailsa Abraham, page 2

Snout around door…….

[image error]Poking my nose out of the door is sometimes the most difficult thing I can do, especially when I have had a scary experience and been hurt. A good example is a road where I was attacked as a child and down which I couldn’t walk for years. I would take a long detour to the shops to avoid the site.

Being Bipolar, often it is just too scary to try going out until I am back to my cheerful self. This is why I have been away from Facebook for a while. I am determined to come back as I have dear friends who are asking after me.

Unfortunately when I tried to get into my account, all the spiteful and unkind remarks popped up in the conversation box. I didn’t want to remember how horrible that person had been to me and no, I am not going to post them here. Better people don’t know how vile that woman can be. I’ve blocked her so she can’t insult me again.

I am re-jigging my account and going through to make sure anyone else of whom I am not sure is out of my company. Fully armed, body-armour on and……………back in I go! [image error]

Forgotten Flower

With thanks to Miranda Kate for Week 79

[image error]

She left us as she had always predicted, on the seashore at night, just as she herself had once been left so many years ago.

I always went next door to my Grandmother’s cottage first thing, after breakfast, to take her milk and bread. That morning, the emptiness hit me like a wall of fog as I entered. Only seven years old I may have been but I knew she had gone to the beach to find my grandfather. My eyes were drawn to his portrait over the fireplace, his fierce warrior’s face slightly askew as if she had reached up to kiss it before leaving. 

[image error]

How well I knew the story. Only recently married and carrying my father in her belly, she had stood on the shore smiling and waving bravely as my grandfather, young, handsome and beloved, had sailed away with his comrades to find fortune. She watched until the boat was out of sight before allowing her tears to fall.

I knew exactly where she would have gone and on the beach I found the flower, dropped abandoned as my grandmother had been so long before. He had promised to come for her – Wait for me by the sea and carry a flower to show you still love me. Neither of them had forgotten.

I kissed the petals of the flower and looked into the rising sun. I should miss her but how lovely that they would be together once more, young and handsome again and so much in love…..

Hawopurrrrrrrrrrrr

[image error]I iz Jinjurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr wot came to live year cupple of leaf drops ago. I lived down rode with bendy family but likes Badgurrr and Otturrrr more, they not kik me.

Here iz my not-real-mother bro Piston wot was found under hood of herself’s van so we [image error]is like bruvvers. I iz the hoodie an he iz the “gooboy” At moment he is lying on MUMZ bed cos she iz ppoooooooooooooooooly. Not as pooooooooooooooooly as DAD wot hav cansurr and had stroke witch is not nice stroke like tikkletummy.

His stroke made him a bit mentul and sumtimes he not able to walk or growl proper. Mum is veri good and give him nommy din dins to make him bettur and nod lots to show she unnerstan (even if she dont)

My job is rodent sterminatorrrrrrrrr. Bro and I do hole village tween us and Mum gives bikkies for evry rodent we kill. They nise peeps and speek a bit of cattish – and we haz a pet dog callt Lilly – we all go walkz roun village togevvur – dat nise cos other peeps show teef and sa Bonjour an Ah vous promenez tout les animoo

Even wiff dog here is not 2 bad.

Retired (re very tired)

OK so I accepted that going back to nursing would be a bit of a faff but I didn’t think (until my beloved doctor told me) that no nurse or doctor was on duty 24/7

Although Badger is doing a wonderful impression of not having terminal cancer or having suffered a severe stroke he has his moments – giddy, unable to stand and brain scrambled. 

What is taking up my time is worrying about him. Even asleep I keep checking his breathing, making sure he hasn’t laid on one of the cats or is strangling himself with the covers.

Worrying comes naturally to me, I am a Yiddisher Momma – but this is relentless. Hence my absence from anti social media recently – that and a very unkind person calling me self absorbed…….. Sorry, sister, but I am all I have at the moment, if I don’t write about me I am out of material!!!

So on the face of it Badger is doing great except when he isn’t and I am doing a frantic juggling act between doing everything and forcing him to do what he is able to. I fetch the firewood in but he is capable of carrying a shopping bag – see the difference

I love all my FB and Tweepie family and miss talking to you – along with my new attitude of “my happiness is of my own making and responsibility” I am going to make time to get out in the web world and see what you are all up to.

We also seem to be adopting cats all over the place – every time I see a feline outside I rush to bring it a bowl of bikkie – this could be my age as I am now officially an OAP in France.  That is another story and several tons of paperwork – wouldn’t you know it?

So Ancient Crone signing out and promising to be more in touch xxxxx

Facepalm!

Will I ever listen to my own advice?  [image error]

I have repeatedly written here and said in conversation that inspiration comes from ANY source and all that is needed is to put the request out into the Universe and the answer will come…from somewhere, somehow.

I have not been on line much recently after a rather nasty experience with a pair of tough cookies on FB which left me very sad even after I had blocked them. Why are people surprised that I play to the gallery? I was born a show-off, went to Drama College and acted professionally for a while – it is in my blood. Even having admitted that, I find it very hurtful when people call me an attention-seeker and would prefer the adjective melodramatic or theatrical.

So I have been depressed for a while and  you all know that I won’t use anti social media as a means of making everyone else miserable. I shut up and go into my shell until it goes away. Obviously I have been sending out help signals to Outer Space all this time as it came to me at one o’clock in the morning. One of my original inspirations, total hero and worshipped human beings was speaking to me on the radio. Gerald Durrell I read when I was very young and he helped me to realise I was not the only person in the world who thought of themselves on the same level as any other animal.

While I have read all his books, been to Jersey and visited his Conservation Centre, I knew of his childhood only what was contained in My Family and Other Animals.  I feel as if Gerry had come back, kicked me in the backside and bellowed down my ear to pull myself together. How far would he have got in his chosen life if he had done what other people wanted him to do? Did he allow others to take over his existence? No and neither should I!

Given my situation at the moment, my cancer-ridden and stroke recovering husband has to have a certain measure of my attention. Of course. But he is not to rule my life or take it away from me. It is vital that I keep some of myself back, some of my own interests and loves because I will have a life after him. His needs seen to, I must make sure I do the things that give me immense pleasure – including riding my motorbike and rescuing every animal in need who finds my door.

And those who don’t like it? Well they can stuff their heads in a painful place and whistle Dixie because I’m not listening any more. I have too much to do to let others hurt and misdirect me. Thank you

[image error]

 

Anti-Social Media

Many of you may know that this last year has been a bit of an uphill fight for me. My husband being diagnosed of Stage 4 cancer followed by a severe stroke, caused me to give up writing as I am too busy caring for him.

Some of  you may not know as I believe Social Media is for fun, not misery or name-calling and I have been absent from Facebook for a while.

So, having got him as settled as he is going to be for a while (like until death) I called up  my humour and went back. That was a good idea, wasn’t it? A person who does not know me accused me of being totally free of “live and let live” which is pretty hilarious if you actually DO know me.

I think we should re-name it as in the title as I really don’t need someone picking up on one comment and deciding they know my entire character from it. Those of you who do know me will be aware that I am so “live and let live” that I virtually lie down and invite people to walk over me.

So I don’t like cyclists using the pavement? That’s because it is against the law and dangerous to pedestrians. This makes me some kind of ogre????

I think it may be time for me to form a reasonable social media group for my friends who know me and don’t hurl insults from an unimaginable distance.

Pissed off? Quite right I am. The unfortunate friend on whose page this took place said it was like running a kindergarten – quite so, my love. That is why I am going to open my own school which will accept only those passing the politeness and civility test

Wait for your invitation……………………….. I am being fierce!

[image error]Not so nice me!

Learn from your WHAT??

No experience, no matter how bad, is a waste if one learns from it.

The other day I told you all how I had managed to pick up a somewhat horrible disease from a deer-tick due to my addiction to helping animals. That would have been the kind of experience of which my old Ma would have quoted the above…which, obviously, I am ignoring.

If I had learned from my mistakes I’d be Brain of Europe by now, which I am plainly NOT.

So what did we do yesterday? Adopted a new kitten, Feral, infected eyes and probably crawling with every parasite going but… it needs care. Nobody else is going to do it so we will. Having spent all of yesterday getting used to us I am taking him up to Uncle Veto to get him checked over, chipped, vaccinated and arrange for castration when possible. This will make him officially a resident of the Bingergread Cottage and he will have papers.

I am not going to put up a picture or his working name yet as I don’t want to tempt Fate but I will tell you that he is unmistakably a relative of Piston’s.

Watch this space and yes, I have been scratched and used the veterinary antiseptic I got from my doctor ………… maybe I do learn a little!

Bless Lilydogge, she just keeps looking puzzled at how she seems to have babies all the time without being pregnant. She just wakes up and finds a new smallthing cuddled up to her tummy!

Bloody Limie

[image error]

Speaking generally, I prefer animals to humans. Of course I know some people whom I adore just as those who say “I hate dogs” end up cuddling Lilydogge (which is why it is silly to make sweeping generalisations). I have also known people who are convinced that their child even looking at a dog or cat will cause them to catch something.

Animals are straightforward – they either like or dislike you and make the fact known. Should one be trying to help an injured animal, one is careful …rather like ambulance crew dealing with damaged drunks. However, I have finally got my reward for a lifetime of helping wild animals (yes even the dead ones which I move out of the road and bless)

My illness which has been variously diagnosed as ME, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and other mental problems has finally been nailed by a blood test – Lyme Disease. This is a huge relief as having a confirmed diagnosis is reassuring and it means that I probably don’t have multiple sclerosis which was also suspected (symptoms are very similar but the presence in my blood of anti-Borrelia is a high five for tick bite and thumbs down for MS.

Of course I have no idea when I was bitten by a deer tick and the idiot who wrote “a large red blotch on the area of the bite can not be ignored” has never seen my arms and legs on a normal day.

The great news is that antibiotics work against lymes while there is no cure for MS. Wheeeeeeeeeee – it will go away!

[image error]

Spellexitis

Below is a photograph of a sufferer of the newly-discovered condition which translates as furniture attraction.

[image error]

I may look as if I had been set on by a gang of thugs in the east end but all it took was two mugs, a small table and a little help from Lily-dogge. Nothing broken but a real shiner on my left eye which is why it is holding a gauze of lavender oil, a badly twisted neck and severe scrapes and grazes. The hospital kept me in overnight but said that my concussion wasn’t bad enough to keep me in, I am very used to being wobbly.

Badger had moved his sitting-out area to the front so I bought smaller chairs. Then I found a kids’ table set which would do fine for out-door nibbling.[image error]  Of course I take a while to get used to the position of new furniture so the neighbours were not at all surprised when I came out of the garage door, tripped on the table, booted the poor hound and then smashed my face onto the two mugs of tea I was carrying. They phoned an ambulance and rushed over to pick me up screaming “Check on the dog!”

So I am indoors for a few days slathered in essential oils. If I wear a pirate eye patch any more people will think I am changing occupations again!

Oh what fun one can have with ordinary objects!

 

otter face – Google Search

Source: otter face – Google Search