K. Morris's Blog, page 304

There Once Was An Ambassador to Britain

There once was an ambassador to Britain
Who said, “many a poem I’ve written
About drinking lukewarm tea
And my great diplomacy,
And a kitten whose name is Mitten!”.

I Still Think of Girls

I stillThink of girls
With soft,
Yielding skin.
My curls,
They have turned from brown to grey.
I cough
And ponder on, the meaning of sin.

A Rather Elderly Gentleman Named Frank

A rather elderly gentleman named Frank
Is extremely fond of a spank,
Whilst my friend Honey
Has plenty of money,
And she likes to visit Frank.

When A Young Lady Named Lin

When a young lady named Lin
Offered to help me with admin,
And I answered her, “please,yes”,
And she took off her dress,
I said, “just the admin, Lin!”.

When a Lawyer Named Grist

When a lawyer named Grist
Said, “you must cease and desist!”,
A young lady named Lou
Said, “I advise you to countersue!”.
So I sued Cease and Desist!

When A Young Man Named Lyme

When a young man named Lyme
Said, “I ‘ave committed a crime.
But what I ‘ave done,
I just donit in fun”,
I said, “your grammar is terrible, Lyme!”.

A Young Man Named Lyme

A young man named Lyme
Was completely obsessed with time.
But a girl from Boulder,
With a dress off her shoulder,
Made lyme forget all about time!

Rewound

When the tick tock
Of the clock
Does stop,
I have found
That it is nothing profound,
For a clock
Is easily rewound.

When a Young Man Named Lee

When a young man by the name of Lee
Said, “there are plenty of fish in the sea”,
And I said, “do you mean the dating website?”,
He said, “that young lady Miss White.
That girl you should most definitely see!”.

Homer’s Odyssey from Penelope’s perspective

I have just finished listening to a great reading of Homer’s Odyssey on Audible, https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Odyssey-Audiobook/B01AB07Y8O.

Back in 2015, I composed “Penelope’s Complaint”, which takes a humorous look at how the wife of Odysseus reacted on his return:

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“Don’t give me all this stuff about sacking Troy.

You have been shacked up with some girl or boy!

You spin me a line

About men turned into swine.

I am sick of hearing of Circe

And your struggle to be free

Of her.

I’m fed up...