K. Morris's Blog, page 201

Miss Shand’s Hand

When I asked the talented and beautiful Miss Shand
If we could enjoy a hot one night stand,
She said, “your not witty,
And your certainly not pretty!”.
And she gave me the back of her hand!

My One Night Stand

I once had a one night stand
With a young lady named Miss Bland.
It may have been December.
But I really don’t remember,
As that girl was so very bland!

My Dear Old Friend the Late Squire

My dear old friend the late squire
Had a passion for young Miss Moriah.
But his wife Claire
Discovered him with her –
Oh, how I miss the old squire!

Grace

I know a young lady named Grace
Who is known for her pretty face.
A girl called Nell
Runs a seedy hotel.
But at least it’s graced by Grace!

Slippery Money

Slippery money
Made of plastic.
A honey,
Her morals elastic.
Money smooth
As honey’s skin.

There Once Was A Poet Named Bannon

There once was a poet named Bannon
Who spoke of the great literary cannon.
But his poor verse
It grew steadily worse –
So they shot him with that cannon!

When A Young Lady Gave A Speech

When a young lady gave a speech
On the subject of her fine peach,
My friend miss Claire
Showed off her pear.
And the police closed down that speech!

Wind

The wind does pass
Across my window glass.
While I, inside
Think on human pride.
Hearing it’s gusts
I regret my lusts,
And all my pride.

Anna’s Spanner

A young lady named Anna
Whacks me with her spanner.
But I never complain
As her cousin Jane,
Has such a pleasant manner!

The Brand

There is no brand of P
Upon her youthful forehead.
And no letter C
Upon his grey head.
And, in polite society,
There is what we call invisibility.