Meredith Atwood's Blog, page 10

The Uncertainty of It All

I am LOSING my mind, y’all. I am wading in so much UNCERTAINTY, it feels like peanut butter. (Mmmmm, peanut butter.). The new city, the book launching in December, all the speaking I have to do coming up (does ANYONE really care what I have to say), plus let’s not even talk about wardrobe choices. […]

The post The Uncertainty of It All appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Quilt

My amazing friend surprised me with this gift. It was a true surprise–probably 6 years in the making. The quilt is beautiful, but the card that came with it–brought tears to my eyes–and I needed to read it today. Carrie, I hope you don’t mind that I shared some of your words here. “This gift […]

The post Sisterhood of the Traveling Quilt appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

Mistakes or Failures?

16 Entrepreneurs Discuss on Whether Mistakes or Failure Have Affected Their Success #5- Made a way to my best years ahead – Meredith Atwood In 2017, I experienced the worst year of my life—both professionally and personally. I had leapt out of the legal profession as an attorney to be an entrepreneur. I watched, helplessly, […]

The post Mistakes or Failures? appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

133: Kids are Bullsh*t

Notes on Nonsense: Kids are Bullsh*t A new type of weekly episode with Meredith Atwood: part life-hacks, part truth-telling, and a celebration of the countdown to the new book, Year of No Nonsense. The Year of No Nonsense is available now for pre-order, and is available everywhere on December 17th. Request to Join the FREE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/YearO... […]

The post 133: Kids are Bullsh*t appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

Morgon Latimore

From rock bottom to UltraMan. Morgon Latimore is a story of rock bottom to IRONMAN to Ultraman–and beyond. What happens when we step outside of ourselves and our own “selfish” motivation to help others?  Morgon has a story to tell—and there will be more to come. Morgon prides himself on helping others live their best […]

The post Morgon Latimore appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

What Changed?

People wanna know what changed for me. With my weight. My body image. I’m gonna tell you all the Truth right now, and nothing but the Truth. I was 73 days binge-free. And yesterday, I was shoved into three situations that normally would have sent me into the pizza and ice cream. And I’ll admit. […]

The post What Changed? appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

Staying the Course

Life is a LONG TIMELINE (if we are lucky, friends). But we want everything to change RIGHT THIS FRESH HOT DAMN SECOND. And it can.  You can choose to say: NEVER AGAIN and NOT IN THIS HOUSE and I QUIT and I AM LEAVING and NO YOU DON’T.  But then you have to keep following […]

The post Staying the Course appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

Shattering Beliefs

I set out on a mission in December to SHATTER (and I mean DESTROY) the core belief I have carried for YEARS: my body was a thing of shame; my excess weight was a burden for me to always carry; I would never have fitness I have ALWAYS desired. ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ I wish I had […]

The post Shattering Beliefs appeared first on Meredith Atwood / Swim Bike Mom.

When to Fight

In a recent Instagram post, I shared my most recent layer and struggle–well, the external part of it.  The response has been staggering–the emails pouring in–just like when I talked about my booze problemo for the first time. Summary: so many of us are struggling. With addiction. With pain. With trauma. With emotional abuse. With our own mechanisms that are HARMING us… but in reality? These are just ways that we are just trying to get through the day. To feel less, to survive, to not look back. To move forward. But we are on a loop–repeating the same bitter, destructive cycle.  We are stuck. Stuck in the loop–or stuck in the same place. A tree with deep, sad roots–the explanation to the why and the how to recover just mere inches below the surface. But we don’t want to dig. We don’t. We can’t. We stay here. We “accept” ourselves. We try “self-care.” And we wonder why we feel worse, more damaged, more jaded. I’ll tell you why I think self-care and self-love is a destructive goal–in my book coming out in December #spoileralert (and I won’t argue with anyone about that premise until after December 17th)…but for now, I leave you with this: We need to keep FIGHTING. Sometimes, sure, the life process is about LETTING GO. But sometimes, I think we need to stand up and FIGHT. My life has been a story of fight. I always knew I was fighting something, but I now know what it was. I was fighting for my freedom, for a voice. For a place where my emotions mattered. Where I was heard for what I was feeling, not expected to sit quietly and absorb the emotions of everyone around me. Not to be told how to feel and process and live in my own skin. I was fighting for myself all along, I know that now.  But I was young, and I stepped into the shoes of an addict so early. I was able to withdraw, give up, and be what I was told. In a sense, I knew I had to fight. But I didn’t know how to fight. So instead of turning the fight outward and speaking my truth and fulfilling my own life in the way I saw fit (and not how everyone else expected me to do), I turned the fight inward.     In turning the fight inward, I developed coping mechanisms that resulted in a shitstorm of destructive behaviors–to cope with this fight I knew that I couldn’t win. Almost two decades later of fighting, I know what is going on. And while letting go is part of the process, I am now also ready to FIGHT. To fight the outward and true fight that was always inside of me, but caged by fear and crossed boundaries. This battle with food, with self-hate rages on. But I do not give up. SO I fight.  The Instagram Post is below, for anyone who missed it. Love to you all, Meredith Last week, I hit my lowest bodyweight in two decades—with lots of hard work, without the assist of pills, shenanigans or other voodoo. . Then this week, I fell apart and let it all crash into a heap of sunflower butter, sushi, sugar and ballpark food. . “So what, it’s not a big deal,” you might say. . True. Except that the tally for the food—aptly logged, named and not to be shamed—was extraordinary. The sheer amount of junk I can consume is unfathomable. . “Oh how bad is it,” I imagine asked with an eye roll. . Well, it was about 5,000 calories. In addition to the regularly scheduled programming of about 1,600 a day. Yes, that’s like two large pizzas. It’s extra. And not in a good way. . When I was a drinker, I drank like this. Always more, more and more. MORE. I have lived my life with MORE. This feels just like that out-of-controlness. In a really unhealthy and destructive way. I don’t like it. . It boils down to safety—not feeling safe in my world, in my skin. To not trusting myself. To years of stuffing down emotional trauma. . Just when I think I have this food thing licked. Then I knock myself down. To prove that I am shit. . Today I did not drink, and I won’t. Ever again. That’s the initial hurdle. But I am now realizing that I have to treat this binge cycle JUST like I treated booze. Never think I’ve gotten it “beat,” always on my highest alert, and not doing any more shit to harm myself—just because I am mixed up in the head. . This post is my fight song. I share this when I know it matters. To me. Maybe doesnt matter to anyone else. But I need to saw it. . I made a public song about booze almost 3.5 years ago. I admitted it, and I said I would fight. So I am talking about this now. . It’s not about my body, the size or the shape. This war—as any recovery from trauma or addiction is—is a fight for my soul. Food is more than food. And it’s sharp. When it’s a weapon, it’s lethal. . Thanks for listening. One thing I know for sure, I always keep fighting. You’ll never see me give up on a second of myself—not for longer than it takes to eat the equivalent of two large pizzas, anyway. This is just the next phase. Right before the next… and the next. #YearOfNoNonsense #YearOfNoNonsense2Point0 Resources for Binge Eating and Sobriety FOOD: https://oa.org/  – Overeaters Anon – explains the program, has podcasts, phone meetings & in-person meetings https://www.avision4you.info/  daily meetings/special edition podcasts https://www.oalaig.org/laig-virtual-s...  — a bunch of great speakers sharing their stories SOBRIETY: Check out the links at www.GratefulSobriety.com 

The Podcast is On FIRE

Y’all The Same 24 Hours Podcast is on FIRE right now. So many great episodes: from Gretchen Rubin to Gary John Bishop to Emily Giffin. You don’t want to miss out on these.  Of course, don’t forget to rate and subscribe–it helps so much! Subscribe to the Show by Email  or  Feed or  iTunes.   Episode 111: Gretchen Rubin: Outer Order, Inner […]

The post The Podcast is On FIRE