Heather Van Fleet's Blog, page 2
March 20, 2015
Cover Reveal: The Rearranged Life by Annika Sharma
I am thrilled to be hosting the cover reveal for my agency sister and dear friend Annika Sharma today. From the day I virtually met her on Twitter, I knew she was something amazing. Her debut book, The Rearranged Life, releases May 15th and I can't wait to read it. New adult, diversity, and forbidden love... Yes, please, thank you, and give-it-to-me-now!
Title: The Rearranged Life
Author: Annika Sharma
Cover designer: Eugene Teplitsky
Genre: Contemporary Romance, New Adult
Release day: May 15th
PREORDER TODAY! Live on Amazon!
About The Rearranged Life:
Nithya, a vivacious, intelligent and driven college senior has always known what she's wanted: a successful career in medicine and the love of her family. She's even come to terms with the idea of an arranged marriage, a tradition her conservative Indian family has held up for thousands of years.
When a night of partying puts her on a collision course with danger, Nithya's entire life changes. Enter James St. Clair, the smart, challenging and heartbreakingly handsome American. As Nithya and James fall in love, she questions the future she and her parents have always planned. To make matters worse, Nishanth, the son of newly reunited family friends is the perfect match for her in the eyes of her loved ones.
Now, Nithya has a choice to make: become a doctor and a good Indian bride, or step away from her family and centuries of culture to forge her own path. The decision she comes to takes her on a journey that transforms how she sees her future, her relationships with loved ones, and how she learns to put herself back together when even her best-laid plans fall apart
.
AND... Here it is!!!
Stunning, isn't it? :) Now read on for an exclusive excerpt that made my face hurt from smiling so hard.
There it is again. That electric charge. It’s as if the air between us has solidified into a molten mass, white-hot and pulling us together like magnets. My heart pounds so hard, I’m afraid it’ll break the stone we are sitting on. His eyes stare into mine, and I am engulfed by their vibrant green sheen. James crosses his legs and straightens his back from the way he was leaning. He’s closer to me now. I can see the shade of stubble on his chin and exactly where his jaw flexes. There’s a scar on his forehead near his eyebrow, and I wonder distractedly where he got it.
“You can really see the stars out tonight.” He tilts his head. I turn around, taken aback by the change of subject. The shadows of the mountains in the distance are huge waves of dark blue on the horizon. The green grass in the fields behind the pavilion appears teal in the night. There are no lights there, while the other side of the arboretum is lit by campus streetlights. The stars are brilliant, glittering specks against a dark background. Suddenly, one jets across the sky, trailing faint white light behind it. It travels so quickly, my eyes can hardly keep up.
“Hey!” James and I cry out, pointing to the shooting star. The second it disappears into the universe, I close my eyes.
“What’re you doing?” James whispers. I hold up a finger to make a wish, willing it to happen with all of my heart and soul. I wish this night would never end.
“I had to make my wish.” I whisper back. I’m not sure why, but after the fleeting glimpse of the meteor, it feels appropriate.
“What did you wish for?” He has shifted his weight again, his position mirroring mine perfectly.
“I can’t tell or it won’t come true. Did you wish for anything?”
He shakes his head, smiling.
“It’s not too late. You still have time. Give it a shot.”
He closes his eyes, and the vision of him with his eyes serenely closed, cross-legged on the stone floor inches away from me, is seared into my mind. He looks so peaceful, like a child. A wistful smile lingers on his lips—until his eyes flutter open, and his smile turns playful.
“Are you going to tell me what you wished for?” I repeat his question.
“It won’t come true.” He echoes my response.
We are inches from each other. Our faces tilt toward one another, our images reflecting in each other’s eyes.
“I really want to kiss you right now,” he whispers.
“I really want you to,” I reply, breathlessly.
He moves in closer, taking his time. The world has stopped. There are no passing cars, no breezes blowing through the trees, no ties binding us to anyone but each other. When his lips finally touch mine, it is as if a fire bursts to roaring, glorious life inside me—it is flaming, reaching for any way to free itself from my body. Though I’ve never done this before, I have no worries. I am a lost soul, and he is my lifeline.
“You taste like chocolate,” he whispers to me, grinning.
“Is that a racial reference?” I ask him, smiling.
He laughs softly, his forehead pressed against mine, his hand still grazing my cheek, fingers entwined in my hair. “I guess I got what I wished for.”
“You wasted a wish. I would have kissed you anyway.” I tell him, playfully.
“I didn’t want to take any chances,” he murmurs and kisses me again.
I am in heaven, and there is nowhere I would rather be.
About Annika:
Annika Sharma was born in India and moved to the United States (Pennsylvania!) when she was a baby. Annika was a daydreamer from day one, always coming up with stories and games of pretend that seemed real. She was a serious journal-writer from fifth grade to college and wrote dramatic scenes for stories often, inspired by soap operas she watched in summers off from school.
Eventually, when the time for college came around, Annika’s parents encouraged her to pursue journalism. Convinced she couldn’t make a living from writing, Annika disagreed. After five years, two degrees, two minors, working with children, being a dancer teacher, and creating a two-and-a-half page resume in college that had interests so all-over-the-place that even she couldn’t make sense of it, Annika finally decided her parents were right. Writing was where her heart was, all along.
In the month before graduate school, the idea Annika had in my mind for years finally poured out in the form of the novel, The Rearranged Life. Annika began editing in earnest after she finished her Master’s degree in Early Childhood Special Education, landing Stacey Donaghy of Donaghy Literary Group as an agent. Three months later, she had a book deal with Curiosity Quills.
In her spare time, Annika loves spending time with her family and friends, often indulging in the three S’s: Starbucks, shopping and superhero movies. As a chocolate lover and general all-around vegetarian foodie, Annika also adores cooking.
Follow Annika here: Facebook // Twitter // YouTube // Goodreads // Website
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Title: The Rearranged Life
Author: Annika Sharma
Cover designer: Eugene Teplitsky
Genre: Contemporary Romance, New Adult
Release day: May 15th
PREORDER TODAY! Live on Amazon!
About The Rearranged Life:
Nithya, a vivacious, intelligent and driven college senior has always known what she's wanted: a successful career in medicine and the love of her family. She's even come to terms with the idea of an arranged marriage, a tradition her conservative Indian family has held up for thousands of years.
When a night of partying puts her on a collision course with danger, Nithya's entire life changes. Enter James St. Clair, the smart, challenging and heartbreakingly handsome American. As Nithya and James fall in love, she questions the future she and her parents have always planned. To make matters worse, Nishanth, the son of newly reunited family friends is the perfect match for her in the eyes of her loved ones.
Now, Nithya has a choice to make: become a doctor and a good Indian bride, or step away from her family and centuries of culture to forge her own path. The decision she comes to takes her on a journey that transforms how she sees her future, her relationships with loved ones, and how she learns to put herself back together when even her best-laid plans fall apart
.
AND... Here it is!!!
Stunning, isn't it? :) Now read on for an exclusive excerpt that made my face hurt from smiling so hard.There it is again. That electric charge. It’s as if the air between us has solidified into a molten mass, white-hot and pulling us together like magnets. My heart pounds so hard, I’m afraid it’ll break the stone we are sitting on. His eyes stare into mine, and I am engulfed by their vibrant green sheen. James crosses his legs and straightens his back from the way he was leaning. He’s closer to me now. I can see the shade of stubble on his chin and exactly where his jaw flexes. There’s a scar on his forehead near his eyebrow, and I wonder distractedly where he got it.
“You can really see the stars out tonight.” He tilts his head. I turn around, taken aback by the change of subject. The shadows of the mountains in the distance are huge waves of dark blue on the horizon. The green grass in the fields behind the pavilion appears teal in the night. There are no lights there, while the other side of the arboretum is lit by campus streetlights. The stars are brilliant, glittering specks against a dark background. Suddenly, one jets across the sky, trailing faint white light behind it. It travels so quickly, my eyes can hardly keep up.
“Hey!” James and I cry out, pointing to the shooting star. The second it disappears into the universe, I close my eyes.
“What’re you doing?” James whispers. I hold up a finger to make a wish, willing it to happen with all of my heart and soul. I wish this night would never end.
“I had to make my wish.” I whisper back. I’m not sure why, but after the fleeting glimpse of the meteor, it feels appropriate.
“What did you wish for?” He has shifted his weight again, his position mirroring mine perfectly.
“I can’t tell or it won’t come true. Did you wish for anything?”
He shakes his head, smiling.
“It’s not too late. You still have time. Give it a shot.”
He closes his eyes, and the vision of him with his eyes serenely closed, cross-legged on the stone floor inches away from me, is seared into my mind. He looks so peaceful, like a child. A wistful smile lingers on his lips—until his eyes flutter open, and his smile turns playful.
“Are you going to tell me what you wished for?” I repeat his question.
“It won’t come true.” He echoes my response.
We are inches from each other. Our faces tilt toward one another, our images reflecting in each other’s eyes.
“I really want to kiss you right now,” he whispers.
“I really want you to,” I reply, breathlessly.
He moves in closer, taking his time. The world has stopped. There are no passing cars, no breezes blowing through the trees, no ties binding us to anyone but each other. When his lips finally touch mine, it is as if a fire bursts to roaring, glorious life inside me—it is flaming, reaching for any way to free itself from my body. Though I’ve never done this before, I have no worries. I am a lost soul, and he is my lifeline.
“You taste like chocolate,” he whispers to me, grinning.
“Is that a racial reference?” I ask him, smiling.
He laughs softly, his forehead pressed against mine, his hand still grazing my cheek, fingers entwined in my hair. “I guess I got what I wished for.”
“You wasted a wish. I would have kissed you anyway.” I tell him, playfully.
“I didn’t want to take any chances,” he murmurs and kisses me again.
I am in heaven, and there is nowhere I would rather be.
About Annika:Annika Sharma was born in India and moved to the United States (Pennsylvania!) when she was a baby. Annika was a daydreamer from day one, always coming up with stories and games of pretend that seemed real. She was a serious journal-writer from fifth grade to college and wrote dramatic scenes for stories often, inspired by soap operas she watched in summers off from school.
Eventually, when the time for college came around, Annika’s parents encouraged her to pursue journalism. Convinced she couldn’t make a living from writing, Annika disagreed. After five years, two degrees, two minors, working with children, being a dancer teacher, and creating a two-and-a-half page resume in college that had interests so all-over-the-place that even she couldn’t make sense of it, Annika finally decided her parents were right. Writing was where her heart was, all along.
In the month before graduate school, the idea Annika had in my mind for years finally poured out in the form of the novel, The Rearranged Life. Annika began editing in earnest after she finished her Master’s degree in Early Childhood Special Education, landing Stacey Donaghy of Donaghy Literary Group as an agent. Three months later, she had a book deal with Curiosity Quills.
In her spare time, Annika loves spending time with her family and friends, often indulging in the three S’s: Starbucks, shopping and superhero movies. As a chocolate lover and general all-around vegetarian foodie, Annika also adores cooking.
Follow Annika here: Facebook // Twitter // YouTube // Goodreads // Website
a Rafflecopter giveaway
March 15, 2015
Rewrites, awesome opportunities, and fabulous books.
I officially broke my Sunday blogging rule. I mean, really, three weeks of not listening to me ramble? How dare I do that to all my blog readers. *insert sarcastic laughter here* Anyway, I'm back at it, ready to chatter about everything and anything that deems of importance to my mind.
On the writerly front:
It's been one heck of crazy few weeks for me. I had to rewrite yet another book, and ya know what? I am sooo glad I did. I knew this book wasn't right from the beginning, and although I loved the premise, I realized not everyone was going to appreciate the hideousness that was my heroine. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good evil heroine once in a while (even claimed to rock out those unlikable heroines once upon a blog post ago) but the problem with this girl? She had absolutely NOTHING to make her redeemable, and for that I had to step back away from that WIP for a while before I realized how much I didn't like that girl either. Yes, it's awesome to channel your inner bad girl, believe you me, but what I fast discovered was that with the bad, I had to give her a little good while I was at it.
Hence why I rewrote an 80,000 work book in a week and a half.
Not every writer follows the same writerly path. Some write 1000 words a week, some write 10k a week. Hell, some write 10k a day. But for me, when the words are on, they are ON, and the fact that I did do that rewrite in the span of time I did doesn't make me superwoman and doesn't necessarily make the entire novel crap, either. BUT when the bones are there for the book, and you've been told the premise is good as well, then it's not so hard to rewrite a story after all. (Especially one with all the feels like this bookie had.) In a way, I guess you could say I rewrote my characters more so than anything. (Even my hero. And OH MY GOD I was blushing with this one guys. Like. PHEW! All my non-romance-writerly friends are going to read this and think: "HEATHER!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WITH ALL THIS SMOOCHING...AND THEN SOME???? *gasp* *Giggles*
And, if you'd like to take a gander at my PINTEREST inspiration board for this one, do check it out. But here's a little Ed Sheeran to give you a feel for the story in general. And when Ed gets involved, you know it's gonna be a heavy book. (Still, I don't write anything but heavy books, so there's that.)
On the reader front:
There have been a lot of new releases lately for some of the wonderful ladies I've me through Twitter. Melody Winters wrote a gorgeous novel entitled Sachael Dreams with mermaids and delicious boys. (Okay, ONE delicious boy dang it. I refuse to acknowledge the others.) You can pick that up at Amazon now. I also read a beautiful coming of age dystopian that about shattered my heart by the time I reached the end. Missing Pieces by Meredith Tate. You can get that one at Amazon, as well.
On the professional front:
GUYS! I'm really REALLY excited about this area of my life right now. I've been blessed with a amazing opportunity to jump into the behind the publishing scenes world with BookFish Books, I couldn't have been more excited. And although I've only been at it a few weeks, I already can't see myself not being part of that amazing team of ladies.
On the home front:
With Spring on its way, and the school year two months from coming to an end, I'm trying so hard to reflect on the positive in my three daughter's lives. (Regardless of how crazy they still make me.) My oldest (who will be going to middle school next year) just got picked for honor's choir and gets to perform with a select number of other kids in her grade to sing in this big performance thing at our local high school. Sometimes, this girl amazes me with who she's become, regardless of the fact that she thinks I am the absolute weirdest mother alive because I do the occasional booty shake around the kitchen to kid's songs. I told her it was the writer in me and she said I needed to just be normal. (Normal is totally underrated, don't you think?)
My middle daughter is superwoman with her schooling lately, her teacher even telling me she's one of the smartest kiddos in the class. Well, shoot, you know where she gets that from, don't ya??? (Okay, you can stop laughing anytime now...)
And my youngest. My baby. Kindergarten round up. Next Thursday. *sniffles*. Enough said.
AND with that, I'm out, dropping the mic with this beautiful man with whom has a purpose in my writing world, but for now...it's a secret as to how he fits in.
On the writerly front:
It's been one heck of crazy few weeks for me. I had to rewrite yet another book, and ya know what? I am sooo glad I did. I knew this book wasn't right from the beginning, and although I loved the premise, I realized not everyone was going to appreciate the hideousness that was my heroine. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good evil heroine once in a while (even claimed to rock out those unlikable heroines once upon a blog post ago) but the problem with this girl? She had absolutely NOTHING to make her redeemable, and for that I had to step back away from that WIP for a while before I realized how much I didn't like that girl either. Yes, it's awesome to channel your inner bad girl, believe you me, but what I fast discovered was that with the bad, I had to give her a little good while I was at it.
Hence why I rewrote an 80,000 work book in a week and a half.
Not every writer follows the same writerly path. Some write 1000 words a week, some write 10k a week. Hell, some write 10k a day. But for me, when the words are on, they are ON, and the fact that I did do that rewrite in the span of time I did doesn't make me superwoman and doesn't necessarily make the entire novel crap, either. BUT when the bones are there for the book, and you've been told the premise is good as well, then it's not so hard to rewrite a story after all. (Especially one with all the feels like this bookie had.) In a way, I guess you could say I rewrote my characters more so than anything. (Even my hero. And OH MY GOD I was blushing with this one guys. Like. PHEW! All my non-romance-writerly friends are going to read this and think: "HEATHER!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WITH ALL THIS SMOOCHING...AND THEN SOME???? *gasp* *Giggles*
And, if you'd like to take a gander at my PINTEREST inspiration board for this one, do check it out. But here's a little Ed Sheeran to give you a feel for the story in general. And when Ed gets involved, you know it's gonna be a heavy book. (Still, I don't write anything but heavy books, so there's that.)
On the reader front:
There have been a lot of new releases lately for some of the wonderful ladies I've me through Twitter. Melody Winters wrote a gorgeous novel entitled Sachael Dreams with mermaids and delicious boys. (Okay, ONE delicious boy dang it. I refuse to acknowledge the others.) You can pick that up at Amazon now. I also read a beautiful coming of age dystopian that about shattered my heart by the time I reached the end. Missing Pieces by Meredith Tate. You can get that one at Amazon, as well.
On the professional front:
GUYS! I'm really REALLY excited about this area of my life right now. I've been blessed with a amazing opportunity to jump into the behind the publishing scenes world with BookFish Books, I couldn't have been more excited. And although I've only been at it a few weeks, I already can't see myself not being part of that amazing team of ladies.
On the home front:
With Spring on its way, and the school year two months from coming to an end, I'm trying so hard to reflect on the positive in my three daughter's lives. (Regardless of how crazy they still make me.) My oldest (who will be going to middle school next year) just got picked for honor's choir and gets to perform with a select number of other kids in her grade to sing in this big performance thing at our local high school. Sometimes, this girl amazes me with who she's become, regardless of the fact that she thinks I am the absolute weirdest mother alive because I do the occasional booty shake around the kitchen to kid's songs. I told her it was the writer in me and she said I needed to just be normal. (Normal is totally underrated, don't you think?)
My middle daughter is superwoman with her schooling lately, her teacher even telling me she's one of the smartest kiddos in the class. Well, shoot, you know where she gets that from, don't ya??? (Okay, you can stop laughing anytime now...)
And my youngest. My baby. Kindergarten round up. Next Thursday. *sniffles*. Enough said.
AND with that, I'm out, dropping the mic with this beautiful man with whom has a purpose in my writing world, but for now...it's a secret as to how he fits in.
February 10, 2015
Cover Reveal: Jax (Breaking the Declan Brothers) By Kelly Gendron
I am SOOO excited to be hosting this delicious cover reveal on my blog today for Kelly Gendron. Out of all the authors in the world, she will forever be my go-to author. There's not one book she's written that I haven't fallen in love with and this one I'm sure will be no different.
Title: Jax (Breaking The Declan Brothers #1)
Author: Kelly Gendron
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: March 17, 2015
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
Synopsis
“Some boys can get rough, some don’t always listen when you tell them to stop, and some boys, they’re just monsters. You gotta be careful who you play with…” ~ Jax Declan
I’m a tease, always have been. In my teens, Jax Declan tried to warn me about staying away from the bad boys. The only boy I ever wanted was Jax. But, no matter how much I tried to play with him, he rejected me.
I haven’t see Jax Declan in years. A couple friends and I are going back to the Bayou for the summer. A little older now, and a bit wiser, I’ve decided that I’m going to find my teenage crush and I’m going to break him. This summer Jax Declan will play with me.
But the closer I get and the more I learn about the reserved, discreet, and sexy Jax Declan. Well, I’m starting to think that Jax Declan might just be one of those bad boys he tried to warn me about all those years ago.
About The Author
Kelly’s motto ~ "Bad boys, give 'em a little time and experience, and they will evolve into misbehaving men!" And what hot-blooded woman doesn’t want a naughty, all grown up bad boy?
Kelly Gendron is the author of the TroubleMaker series, the up and coming series ~ Breaking the Declan Brothers, and a few other romantic suspense novels.
When she's not writing steamy, blush producing romances, she's out meeting new people while representing a group of reputable nursing facilities. You can find Kelly in a quiet suburb, somewhere between Buffalo and Niagara Falls. If you Google her, she’ll pop up there too. And, please do find her. Kelly loves to hear from her readers, and meeting new people
Website: http://kellygendron.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KelGendron
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kelgendron
Google: https://plus.google.com/u/0/101477561744178595715/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5625187.Kelly_Gendron
Newsletter: https://confirmsubscription.com/h/t/1084E1E123E42CBD
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Kelly-Gendron/e/B0082H6TZS
Giveaway
Direct Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/disp...?
Title: Jax (Breaking The Declan Brothers #1)
Author: Kelly Gendron
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: March 17, 2015
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
Synopsis
“Some boys can get rough, some don’t always listen when you tell them to stop, and some boys, they’re just monsters. You gotta be careful who you play with…” ~ Jax Declan
I’m a tease, always have been. In my teens, Jax Declan tried to warn me about staying away from the bad boys. The only boy I ever wanted was Jax. But, no matter how much I tried to play with him, he rejected me.
I haven’t see Jax Declan in years. A couple friends and I are going back to the Bayou for the summer. A little older now, and a bit wiser, I’ve decided that I’m going to find my teenage crush and I’m going to break him. This summer Jax Declan will play with me.
But the closer I get and the more I learn about the reserved, discreet, and sexy Jax Declan. Well, I’m starting to think that Jax Declan might just be one of those bad boys he tried to warn me about all those years ago.
About The AuthorKelly’s motto ~ "Bad boys, give 'em a little time and experience, and they will evolve into misbehaving men!" And what hot-blooded woman doesn’t want a naughty, all grown up bad boy?
Kelly Gendron is the author of the TroubleMaker series, the up and coming series ~ Breaking the Declan Brothers, and a few other romantic suspense novels.
When she's not writing steamy, blush producing romances, she's out meeting new people while representing a group of reputable nursing facilities. You can find Kelly in a quiet suburb, somewhere between Buffalo and Niagara Falls. If you Google her, she’ll pop up there too. And, please do find her. Kelly loves to hear from her readers, and meeting new people
Website: http://kellygendron.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KelGendron
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kelgendron
Google: https://plus.google.com/u/0/101477561744178595715/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5625187.Kelly_Gendron
Newsletter: https://confirmsubscription.com/h/t/1084E1E123E42CBD
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Kelly-Gendron/e/B0082H6TZS
Giveaway
Direct Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/disp...?
February 8, 2015
Unlikable heroines are GONNA be my thing. ♥
Good Sunday morning to you all!
I'm in a MUCH better place than I was this time last week, for sure. My confidence--albeit not perfect--is back to a point where I can honestly say to myself "hey, you got this, girl, no worries." And that alone is a win in itself for someone like me. =)
On the writerly front...
After a two week long, emotional dry spell when it came to my WIP, I can proudly say I've found my groove again. (And MAN does it feel fabulous.)
It's not like I hadn't been writing at all. If anything, I'd been knocking the word count out of the ballpark for the second book in my YA series. (See my Pinterest board here for book one.) I am wholeheartedly in love and invested in these characters and their story, but they just weren't saying anything meaningful to me, so everything I was writing was like, "blah, blah, blah, this book is boring as hell. Dull. Lifeless and will probably require a major rewrite when I finish it." Not wanting to screw these two poor kiddos over, I decided it was best to just step away from them for a little while.
And that's exactly what I did.
it was Wednesday night, 9:30 to be exact. I was watching some random basketball game with the hubby and was on the fence about either going to sleep or reading a book. But just when I decided that my brain was not in a reading mood, and that my heavy eyes were winning out, this little voice started talking to me. The thing of it was, this little voice was not very little after all. She was fierce. And defiant. A little bit on the naughty side when it comes to her, um, tastes in men, too. She wasn't the girl next door, or the Katniss heroine we all want to root for either. She was a nasty B who would seriously not shut up.
So I did what I always do when a new story hits me: I forewent sleep, grabbed my laptop, and began to write. And after just an hour with her (Caylee) I was 3k words in. And then another hour later, 6k in. But then I totally fell asleep at the kitchen table, with my chin in my chest, and my hands over the keyboard...
(Tell me this is normal, right?)
But then the next day, while my girls were at school and my niece was happily invested in Baby First TV, (don't judge, it was only for a half hour) I decided to bring Caylee back out for a half hour or so, just to see if she was worthy to be written. That's also the exact moment when I realized how horrible and unlikable she was.
Frustrated with myself, I turned to my niece and said, "Kyndel, Auntie Heather sucks." Her answer was for us to sing this song, over and over and then giggle until my dog thought I was dying. (True story)
Weirdly, though, this song motivated me, telling me subliminally to write that unlikable heroine and let this girl be the liar she is.
So... That's what I'm doing. I'm writing an unlikable liar. And I am damn sure gonna nail her to a T. And then somewhere along the way, I hope people will fall in love with her anyway. She's nasty, but redeemable. And I freaking ADORE her. Seriously.
On the personal front...
It's been a trying mothering week. (But when is it not? lol) My oldest thinks she's in high school and has the attitude to go along with it, but I can gladly say I've garnered more patience, so yay for that. As much as she claims I'm the worst mother ever, she'll still hug me goodnight, so I'll count that as a win.
On the reading front...
Would you believe I went an entire WEEK without reading a book? This is torture for me. I'm the type of person that will read 5 to 6 books a week, yet I can't find the energy to read one? *cries* *Weeps* *rocks in a corner* It's not for lack for awesome books, or anything. I just haven't been able to invest in one because of a lack of time and energy. But I'm determined to get back on track next week, that's for sure.
And with that, I'm out.
Bye.
See ya.
Oh. Wait. Am I forgetting something?
Hmm...
Ahhhh... Okay. Here you go.
Let me introduce you to this fine specimen of a man...
Justin Barringer
*wipes drool*
I'm in a MUCH better place than I was this time last week, for sure. My confidence--albeit not perfect--is back to a point where I can honestly say to myself "hey, you got this, girl, no worries." And that alone is a win in itself for someone like me. =)
On the writerly front...
After a two week long, emotional dry spell when it came to my WIP, I can proudly say I've found my groove again. (And MAN does it feel fabulous.)
It's not like I hadn't been writing at all. If anything, I'd been knocking the word count out of the ballpark for the second book in my YA series. (See my Pinterest board here for book one.) I am wholeheartedly in love and invested in these characters and their story, but they just weren't saying anything meaningful to me, so everything I was writing was like, "blah, blah, blah, this book is boring as hell. Dull. Lifeless and will probably require a major rewrite when I finish it." Not wanting to screw these two poor kiddos over, I decided it was best to just step away from them for a little while.
And that's exactly what I did.
it was Wednesday night, 9:30 to be exact. I was watching some random basketball game with the hubby and was on the fence about either going to sleep or reading a book. But just when I decided that my brain was not in a reading mood, and that my heavy eyes were winning out, this little voice started talking to me. The thing of it was, this little voice was not very little after all. She was fierce. And defiant. A little bit on the naughty side when it comes to her, um, tastes in men, too. She wasn't the girl next door, or the Katniss heroine we all want to root for either. She was a nasty B who would seriously not shut up.
So I did what I always do when a new story hits me: I forewent sleep, grabbed my laptop, and began to write. And after just an hour with her (Caylee) I was 3k words in. And then another hour later, 6k in. But then I totally fell asleep at the kitchen table, with my chin in my chest, and my hands over the keyboard...
(Tell me this is normal, right?)
But then the next day, while my girls were at school and my niece was happily invested in Baby First TV, (don't judge, it was only for a half hour) I decided to bring Caylee back out for a half hour or so, just to see if she was worthy to be written. That's also the exact moment when I realized how horrible and unlikable she was.
Frustrated with myself, I turned to my niece and said, "Kyndel, Auntie Heather sucks." Her answer was for us to sing this song, over and over and then giggle until my dog thought I was dying. (True story)
Weirdly, though, this song motivated me, telling me subliminally to write that unlikable heroine and let this girl be the liar she is.
So... That's what I'm doing. I'm writing an unlikable liar. And I am damn sure gonna nail her to a T. And then somewhere along the way, I hope people will fall in love with her anyway. She's nasty, but redeemable. And I freaking ADORE her. Seriously.
On the personal front...
It's been a trying mothering week. (But when is it not? lol) My oldest thinks she's in high school and has the attitude to go along with it, but I can gladly say I've garnered more patience, so yay for that. As much as she claims I'm the worst mother ever, she'll still hug me goodnight, so I'll count that as a win.
On the reading front...
Would you believe I went an entire WEEK without reading a book? This is torture for me. I'm the type of person that will read 5 to 6 books a week, yet I can't find the energy to read one? *cries* *Weeps* *rocks in a corner* It's not for lack for awesome books, or anything. I just haven't been able to invest in one because of a lack of time and energy. But I'm determined to get back on track next week, that's for sure.
And with that, I'm out. Bye.
See ya.
Oh. Wait. Am I forgetting something?
Hmm...
Ahhhh... Okay. Here you go.
Let me introduce you to this fine specimen of a man...
Justin Barringer
*wipes drool*
February 1, 2015
Not everything's a 'pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows' moment.
This week? I want to ring it's neck. No, I'm not always gonna blog about happy goodness and I'm sorry about that... But lets face it, happy goodness is for wussies. And I'm not one. =)
On the writerly front...
Not gonna lie... This week was hard. Throat punch hard. Not in the sense that the words wouldn't flow (I've got 15k to attest for that) but in the sense that my confidence has failed me. Fully. Completely. Wholeheartedly failed me.
Every once in a while (okay, scratch that, every other day, it seems) the little voices in my head tell me I'm not good enough. That my goals are unattainable. That I'll never swim in the big pond with the fancy fishes because I don't have the sparkly gills. (Terrible analogy, I know. Don't hate.) Yes, yes, I know, every writer goes through this, even those shiny, sparkly fancy fish, I'm sure. But for me, a sufferer of all things 'I suck', it's a never ending battle. And it absolutely breaks. My. Heart.
That ugly thing called doubt and depression pushes me down a dark path (has done so since I was a teenager.) No matter how many times I push it away, either, it's vengeance continues to get uglier. I seem to cry constantly anymore and then I really get tired of trying to stay positive too, mainly because when I do, something breaks me down again. The endless cycle of beating myself down keeps going and going and going...until I'm at a bottom of a pit that's almost impossible to dig myself out of.
Truth be told, I'm exhausted. Like, to the point where it's not even fun for me to write some days. And I hate that, because it is fun. SO much. Without the words, I can't breathe. Without sitting down in front of my computer, I feel like I am losing pieces of me that I can never get back. I want to be able to feel good again, and the only way I can is by, yes, THINKING POSITIVE. But I can't help but ask: is it worth it? I want to think so. But if I cant' believe in myself, who will? I'm my own biggest cheerleader, but my pom poms are broke. And repairing them has become a daunting task, one that i guess I've got to get better at. I've never been a miracle worker, but for the sake of my heart (and sanity) I better try to be, huh? I'm not asking for pity here. I'm not asking for people to pat me on the back and say "ah, you'll be okay." But what I am asking for is a sense of understanding. That it's okay to be down. That I'm not crazy and I'm not filled with suckage because I feel this way. I am who I am, and no matter what that won't change.
But... I'm trying. And sometimes that's all I can do.
On a personal front...
Whoever said being a mother was hard is wrong. Because being a mother is a job that is nearly impossible in all stages of life, even when you try your best. For instance: When your 8 year old daughter who already has a hard time with life in general, is melting down because you make her take a day off the computer. Or then there are the days when one of your children (I won't say who) gets a hold of your Paypal password and spends a HUGE amount of money on some lovely site called Movie Star Planet, only to tell you days later that I'm the worst mother ever for grounding her. And when you realize that your youngest daughter has a combined attitude of her older sisters, therefore trying you with her words on an hourly basis. (She's lucky she's adorable, let's just say.) But like writing, I have to push the doubts out of my head, and constantly tell myself that I can handle what's been given to me because what's been given to me are blessings, no matter what the day may bring.
And sometimes, it's just nice to be noticed on how you are as a parent...
For instance, I went to dinner one night with my ladies and a lovely young girl who sat behind our table said to me: I just want you to know, from what I can tell, you're an amazing mom. Instant tears. Big time, ugly tears. Because just when I was doubting my motherly skills,, someone tells me otherwise, therefore giving me the confidence to say "Yeah, okay. I've totally got this. I am not a rockstar mom, but I am a mom who'd do anything for her kids and that in itself is something. =)
On the reading front...
One good thing I can say for this week? I was finally able to read my agency sister's book, Mayhem. Jamie Shaw's debut was the perfect NA read for all those girls out there who love them some rock stars.
And with that, I'm out. I've got a newly minted 5 year old to contest with today. One who doesn't quite understand why Mother Nature has decided to bring a blizzard on the same day of (and I quote) the most important day of her entire life.
Oh, and because I never fail you, here's Thom Evans. Because I love him. And he's hot. And he's also the muse for Collin (The hero from my novel, The Imperfect Try.)
On the writerly front...
Not gonna lie... This week was hard. Throat punch hard. Not in the sense that the words wouldn't flow (I've got 15k to attest for that) but in the sense that my confidence has failed me. Fully. Completely. Wholeheartedly failed me.
Every once in a while (okay, scratch that, every other day, it seems) the little voices in my head tell me I'm not good enough. That my goals are unattainable. That I'll never swim in the big pond with the fancy fishes because I don't have the sparkly gills. (Terrible analogy, I know. Don't hate.) Yes, yes, I know, every writer goes through this, even those shiny, sparkly fancy fish, I'm sure. But for me, a sufferer of all things 'I suck', it's a never ending battle. And it absolutely breaks. My. Heart.
That ugly thing called doubt and depression pushes me down a dark path (has done so since I was a teenager.) No matter how many times I push it away, either, it's vengeance continues to get uglier. I seem to cry constantly anymore and then I really get tired of trying to stay positive too, mainly because when I do, something breaks me down again. The endless cycle of beating myself down keeps going and going and going...until I'm at a bottom of a pit that's almost impossible to dig myself out of.
Truth be told, I'm exhausted. Like, to the point where it's not even fun for me to write some days. And I hate that, because it is fun. SO much. Without the words, I can't breathe. Without sitting down in front of my computer, I feel like I am losing pieces of me that I can never get back. I want to be able to feel good again, and the only way I can is by, yes, THINKING POSITIVE. But I can't help but ask: is it worth it? I want to think so. But if I cant' believe in myself, who will? I'm my own biggest cheerleader, but my pom poms are broke. And repairing them has become a daunting task, one that i guess I've got to get better at. I've never been a miracle worker, but for the sake of my heart (and sanity) I better try to be, huh? I'm not asking for pity here. I'm not asking for people to pat me on the back and say "ah, you'll be okay." But what I am asking for is a sense of understanding. That it's okay to be down. That I'm not crazy and I'm not filled with suckage because I feel this way. I am who I am, and no matter what that won't change.
But... I'm trying. And sometimes that's all I can do.
On a personal front...
Whoever said being a mother was hard is wrong. Because being a mother is a job that is nearly impossible in all stages of life, even when you try your best. For instance: When your 8 year old daughter who already has a hard time with life in general, is melting down because you make her take a day off the computer. Or then there are the days when one of your children (I won't say who) gets a hold of your Paypal password and spends a HUGE amount of money on some lovely site called Movie Star Planet, only to tell you days later that I'm the worst mother ever for grounding her. And when you realize that your youngest daughter has a combined attitude of her older sisters, therefore trying you with her words on an hourly basis. (She's lucky she's adorable, let's just say.) But like writing, I have to push the doubts out of my head, and constantly tell myself that I can handle what's been given to me because what's been given to me are blessings, no matter what the day may bring.
And sometimes, it's just nice to be noticed on how you are as a parent...
For instance, I went to dinner one night with my ladies and a lovely young girl who sat behind our table said to me: I just want you to know, from what I can tell, you're an amazing mom. Instant tears. Big time, ugly tears. Because just when I was doubting my motherly skills,, someone tells me otherwise, therefore giving me the confidence to say "Yeah, okay. I've totally got this. I am not a rockstar mom, but I am a mom who'd do anything for her kids and that in itself is something. =)
On the reading front...
One good thing I can say for this week? I was finally able to read my agency sister's book, Mayhem. Jamie Shaw's debut was the perfect NA read for all those girls out there who love them some rock stars.
And with that, I'm out. I've got a newly minted 5 year old to contest with today. One who doesn't quite understand why Mother Nature has decided to bring a blizzard on the same day of (and I quote) the most important day of her entire life.
Oh, and because I never fail you, here's Thom Evans. Because I love him. And he's hot. And he's also the muse for Collin (The hero from my novel, The Imperfect Try.)
January 25, 2015
Another day, another hot guy with a puppy...
I'm back and ready to ramble on this amazingly beautiful, last Sunday of the month. It was one heck of a week last week, but I can say I managed to make it through...only partially unscathed, of course.
On the writerly front...
Ever have one of those days where EVERYTHING goes wrong? Yeah, then you might be able to sympathize with the drama that was my Monday of last week. I'd just hit the glorious twenty thousand word mark on my new WIP when BAM my computer takes a dive into crapsvile. Like, the screen went black. It wouldn't turn on. It. Was. Broken. *sobs* I was expecting it to happen, so it wasn't too much of a surprise. But still, I wrote six manuscripts on that computer so it was like letting go of a child, in a way.
That afternoon, I went out, got myself a shiny new laptop, got my Word all loaded and my motivation back at the same time. Until I stuck in my memory card to upload my new manuscript and discovered the latest version of that WIP did not, in fact, get saved.
Un. Freaking. Believable.
I'm not gonna lie. I cried. A lot. My husband Chris even called me a nut job (but then made up for it and cooked me dinner. Husbands just don't understand the trauma of writing malfunctions, let me tell ya.) I'd lost 6,000 glorious words and for the life of me couldn't remember what they were. So I did the only thing I could do at the time... I tossed that WIP onto the back-burner for another time and another place. Of course I'm not throwing in the towel. I'm renewing my head and giving other characters a chance to speak instead.
So on Thursday, I began working on something new. A secondary book in a series that's actually on sub right now with my agent.. (YES, I know. the sub process is a secret, so I'll zip my lip now.) But if there's one thing I can share, is that this new untitled YA romance is probably the darkest book I've written so far. Oh! And after only four days, I've already cracked that 20k mark.
Woot!
On the reader front...
I've read some amazingly good books this week. One that I can't get out of my head is Rules of Protection by Alison Bliss. It's a contemporary romantic suspense from Entangled that completely rocked my socks off. Great characters and amazing lol moments with yes, lots and lots of sexiness. Because you know I can't do a book without a little bit of sexiness.
On the personal front...
I'm almost the mother of a five year old again, guys. *Sniff Sniff* My little Isabella *Belly* is growing up way too fast. She just lost her first tooth and she cried, not because it hurt, but because she was petrified that she'd never be able to eat Tootsie Pops again. But alas, we figured out right away that one missing tooth did not hinder sucker consumption after all. *Wipes brow*
That's it for another week. I know. I'm not the most fascinating person around...but hey, I do try. And here's a hot guy and his puppy to say thanks for stopping by. (Because there can NEVER be enough hot guys with puppy pictures to go around, right?)
On the writerly front...
Ever have one of those days where EVERYTHING goes wrong? Yeah, then you might be able to sympathize with the drama that was my Monday of last week. I'd just hit the glorious twenty thousand word mark on my new WIP when BAM my computer takes a dive into crapsvile. Like, the screen went black. It wouldn't turn on. It. Was. Broken. *sobs* I was expecting it to happen, so it wasn't too much of a surprise. But still, I wrote six manuscripts on that computer so it was like letting go of a child, in a way.
That afternoon, I went out, got myself a shiny new laptop, got my Word all loaded and my motivation back at the same time. Until I stuck in my memory card to upload my new manuscript and discovered the latest version of that WIP did not, in fact, get saved.
Un. Freaking. Believable.
I'm not gonna lie. I cried. A lot. My husband Chris even called me a nut job (but then made up for it and cooked me dinner. Husbands just don't understand the trauma of writing malfunctions, let me tell ya.) I'd lost 6,000 glorious words and for the life of me couldn't remember what they were. So I did the only thing I could do at the time... I tossed that WIP onto the back-burner for another time and another place. Of course I'm not throwing in the towel. I'm renewing my head and giving other characters a chance to speak instead.
So on Thursday, I began working on something new. A secondary book in a series that's actually on sub right now with my agent.. (YES, I know. the sub process is a secret, so I'll zip my lip now.) But if there's one thing I can share, is that this new untitled YA romance is probably the darkest book I've written so far. Oh! And after only four days, I've already cracked that 20k mark.
Woot!
On the reader front...
I've read some amazingly good books this week. One that I can't get out of my head is Rules of Protection by Alison Bliss. It's a contemporary romantic suspense from Entangled that completely rocked my socks off. Great characters and amazing lol moments with yes, lots and lots of sexiness. Because you know I can't do a book without a little bit of sexiness.
On the personal front...
I'm almost the mother of a five year old again, guys. *Sniff Sniff* My little Isabella *Belly* is growing up way too fast. She just lost her first tooth and she cried, not because it hurt, but because she was petrified that she'd never be able to eat Tootsie Pops again. But alas, we figured out right away that one missing tooth did not hinder sucker consumption after all. *Wipes brow*
That's it for another week. I know. I'm not the most fascinating person around...but hey, I do try. And here's a hot guy and his puppy to say thanks for stopping by. (Because there can NEVER be enough hot guys with puppy pictures to go around, right?)
January 18, 2015
It's been so long...
I'll be the first to admit, I'm a terrible blogger. Why's that you ask? Well, it's because I usually don't have a whole lot to say, and then when I do wind of blogging it's more of a babbling thing where I end up annoying myself more than anything. But babbling is better than nothing, right?
On the writerly front...
Life's been crazy busy for me this past month or so. LOTS of writing going on, and self edits, too. I finished my 11th (clears throat, actually it was my 12th) book ever and boy was I totally happy dancing at that success. (GO ME!!!)
This book, though, was a bit different for me in the writing sense. It's a young adult, which I adore of course, but it centers around a young girl who's best friend has died and now, with the help of said-dead-best friend's very hot annoying older brother, she's got to figure out what in the H-e double hockey sticks actually happened to the girl she was not supposed to lose so soon in life. Any-hoo. It's a total mystery with, of course, lots of swooning and kissing and kissing, and...did I mention kissing?. But for the first time ever, it's not totally about the kissing. (Am I making sense here?) It's got a bit of a thrillerish thing going on, which I have never been brave enough to write before. But O.M.G did I have one heck of a good time doing it. Someday I hope you'll get a chance to meet Becca... She's pretty freaking great. Come check out my very lacking Pinterest page to see how I imagine Becca and her (possible) love interest, Ben.
On the reading front...
Over the span of a week I read five books, all of which were erotic dark romances. (Let's just say that my writerly choices are not necessarily spot on with my reading choices.) Tillie Cole is now officially one of my new writerly heroines because this lady pushes boundaries and makes amazing books because of it. Seriously. I fall to my knees, fan-girl this lady. Nobody writes messed up bad boys like she does.
On the professional front...
I JUST found out last week that my novel, The Imperfect Try (See Pinterest board for this book here) won first place in the Finish the Damn Book contest through the Chesapeake RWA. Squee! I've never, EVER won an award for a contest before in my LIFE and holy cow did I cry. Like, real, ugly tears. I needed that confidence boost like nothing else in my life. Seriously.
ALSO I've been doing a little submission interning on the side for Entangled Publishing. I don't talk about it a lot, but I am learning SO much about the publishing business because of it.
On the home front...
Some days I think I deserve an award in the mothering department. Not because I'm awesome or anything, but because I make it through the days without always losing my mind in the process.My ten year daughter old thinks she's sixteen. My eight year old daughter is on Minecraft 24/7. And my four-nearly-five-year-old does not have a filter. Example: On D-day at pre-school she had to make sure I understood that it was not okay to take the 'damn dog' to school because of other kid's allergies. (Kill-me-now. Damn dog, Bella, really?)
So that's it for now, I promise not to be so scarce so much, because really, I know you all adore my rambles, right?
I mean, Theo certainly does... ♥
On the writerly front...
Life's been crazy busy for me this past month or so. LOTS of writing going on, and self edits, too. I finished my 11th (clears throat, actually it was my 12th) book ever and boy was I totally happy dancing at that success. (GO ME!!!)
This book, though, was a bit different for me in the writing sense. It's a young adult, which I adore of course, but it centers around a young girl who's best friend has died and now, with the help of said-dead-best friend's very hot annoying older brother, she's got to figure out what in the H-e double hockey sticks actually happened to the girl she was not supposed to lose so soon in life. Any-hoo. It's a total mystery with, of course, lots of swooning and kissing and kissing, and...did I mention kissing?. But for the first time ever, it's not totally about the kissing. (Am I making sense here?) It's got a bit of a thrillerish thing going on, which I have never been brave enough to write before. But O.M.G did I have one heck of a good time doing it. Someday I hope you'll get a chance to meet Becca... She's pretty freaking great. Come check out my very lacking Pinterest page to see how I imagine Becca and her (possible) love interest, Ben.
On the reading front...
Over the span of a week I read five books, all of which were erotic dark romances. (Let's just say that my writerly choices are not necessarily spot on with my reading choices.) Tillie Cole is now officially one of my new writerly heroines because this lady pushes boundaries and makes amazing books because of it. Seriously. I fall to my knees, fan-girl this lady. Nobody writes messed up bad boys like she does.
On the professional front...
I JUST found out last week that my novel, The Imperfect Try (See Pinterest board for this book here) won first place in the Finish the Damn Book contest through the Chesapeake RWA. Squee! I've never, EVER won an award for a contest before in my LIFE and holy cow did I cry. Like, real, ugly tears. I needed that confidence boost like nothing else in my life. Seriously.
ALSO I've been doing a little submission interning on the side for Entangled Publishing. I don't talk about it a lot, but I am learning SO much about the publishing business because of it.
On the home front...
Some days I think I deserve an award in the mothering department. Not because I'm awesome or anything, but because I make it through the days without always losing my mind in the process.My ten year daughter old thinks she's sixteen. My eight year old daughter is on Minecraft 24/7. And my four-nearly-five-year-old does not have a filter. Example: On D-day at pre-school she had to make sure I understood that it was not okay to take the 'damn dog' to school because of other kid's allergies. (Kill-me-now. Damn dog, Bella, really?)
So that's it for now, I promise not to be so scarce so much, because really, I know you all adore my rambles, right?
I mean, Theo certainly does... ♥
October 15, 2014
Deleted Finding Her Way Back scene (Ky's point of view)
So FHWB was originally a 97,000 word book, if you can believe that one. *Shudders* I knew I had to change that along the way, and this was one of the scenes that had to go. Believe me, I adore my Ky, probably more than anyone on this planet. And that is exactly why I'm sharing his deleted scene now.
(Please note, this is not properly edited. Like, at all.) This is part of a deleted chapter where Ky and Callie went out to a lunch/dinner thing with Ky's dad. And, if you can't tell, it didn't go according to plans...
He wanted to kill him. Never had murderous thoughts about anybody in his life hit him like this before. But as he stood there, staring back over his shoulder at his douchebag of a father, Ky had to wonder if anyone would miss the bastard if he suddenly just disappeared off the face of the earth.
Christ almighty, sons weren’t supposed to feel this way about their fathers. What was wrong with him?
Didn’t matter. None of this mattered. At least not anymore. Getting by without the money would be doable. He’d make himself get by without anything from that man. Get an extra job, take on more shifts at the shop. Hell, things were already looking better as it was for his gramps and him. The last loan payment on the car had finally been forked over—granted it was trashed anyways, but still—that was one less bill needing paid.
The money he needed, the money his father never deserved to have in the first place, was stuck in the evil fuck’s hold; unattainable until the day Ky turned twenty–one. But it wasn’t for personal reasons he wanted it. No, not at all, actually. He needed it so he could finally pay back the Bennett family—prove his worth—make Cal’s parents see that he was good at settling debts; make them see that he was a man now, ready to be seen as more than just the loser boy next door with the skateboard, guitar, and long hair.
More importantly, Ky was ready to prove to them that he was a man deserving of their daughter’s love.
Yes, that’s why he was here. For Calla Lily. For the girl who held his heart in the palms of her hands for over four and a half years now.
Ever since that day on her porch, seeing her hovering over the ground with that cement dick in her hand, Ky knew that fate had brought her home for a reason. It was his time. Dammit, it was their time. And he wasn’t about to let her go now that he had her back in his life.
He knew all the crap she’d gone through still ate away at her. Hell, it still tore him up too. But they’d made that promise together almost a year ago—one where they’d told each other that no matter what, their friendship would never cease. For Brent. But, like he always knew she would, Cal broke that promise made in metaphorical blood—forgot about him to be more specific. Mainly because he tried to make her remember; tried to make her move on, and get over the pain. He’d done it, and damn did it feel good. But Brent and Tracy’s accident would never be something Cal could run from. Because she’d been there—seen it all go down—and was helpless to do anything about it but just stand by and watch.
Memories were supposed to be remembered though, weren’t they? That way you could move on, get your life in gear and make it better when the bad shit was all said and done. Memories to Ky were the stepping stones to getting you where you were meant to be. To happiness, contentment. That way you can take on the world and make life better again. And dammit, Calla Lily wasn’t about to get away from him now. She’s all he wanted—nothing mattered but making her finally realize that together, they were right.
Screw age; screw the fact that numbers seemed to define a person’s timeline in life. Ky had been through enough in life to know what he wanted. And he wanted a forever … with Calla Lily Hampton.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand, yanking her toward the door, ready to lose himself in his bike, ready to have her legs wrapped around his waist—to feel her hot breath against his neck as they drove to his secret destination. It’d be the icing on his Calla Lily, motorcycle cupcake. Sweet, sexy, exhilarating Calla Lily. The girl was his perfection.
“No, I think you should stay. I’ll … just go call my mom or something.” Her big blue eyes gazed up at him in unease. Biting his tongue, Ky watched as she pushed her emotions away with one simple sentence.
“Hey.” They’d made it as far as the door before he pulled her close to his chest. Tucking her head under his chin, he wrapped his arms around her lower back. She was shaking now. “Don’t listen to my dad. He’s an ass—”
“No. It’s not your dad.” He jerked his head back to stare down at her, pushing her chin up with his finger. Her eyes were unfocused, and she barely seemed to be able to finish her words. “You need to go back in there.”
“Calla Lily, Jesus, I don’t want to go back in there.”
“Well, you should. You need to make things right with him.”
“Baby.” She stiffened at his word. Yeah, he had no clue where that came from. But if pet names got her attention, then he’d definitely have to get more creative next time. Shaking his head, he shifted his thoughts back to her words, the strain of her voice. “My dad is an ass wipe. He’s not even family to me anymore. Gramps is my family. You are my family.” Swallowing, he yanked her back to his chest, too embarrassed to see her expression at his ball–chopped confession. Once again, she relaxed in his embrace.
That’s right, she’d better get used to this. He was going all in here, embarrassment or not. Never would Ky step down from what he said, even if his dick was suddenly channeling a vagina. Blame it on all those girlie movies she used to make him watch in high school.
“I-I,” she stuttered, obviously flustered with what to say in return. He told her the truth though. She was family—his family, dammit. And he could only imagine what she’d do or say when he told her the next truth someday. The truth when he said how desperately in love with her he was.
“You what?”
“I just … I just wanna go home, okay?” Pulling back, she stared up at him again. Her face was pale, unemotional now. Damn. What else was going on in that head of hers? Too bad she was getting her way.
“No.”
Eyes widening, she gaped up at him, pulling out of his hold completely, snapping her hands against her thighs. He grinned and stuck his hands into his jean pockets.
That’s right, Calla Lily, I’m in control now.
“Um, excuse me? Did you just tell me no?” A spark of humor, along with disbelief, shimmered behind her intense gaze.
“Yup.” Shrugging, Ky turned away, but not before pulling her along with him at his side. Surprisingly, she didn’t fight for control.
“You did not just tell me no and actually think I was going to listen to you?”
“I sure did, darlin’. Simple as that.”
“Um, yeah, I kind of heard you. But since when do I have to, you know, do what you say?” she stuttered, tripping over the cute little shoes adorning her tiny feet. He stopped walking, distracted by that purple dress she had on now, following the length up her body. Taking extra time to appreciate her generous full breasts that seemed to be wanting to come out to play with his gaze the longer he studied them. Damn. This wasn’t the time to eye hump her, but Cal had some serious curvage going on after being away for nine months at school.
“If you’re going to just up and walk away from your father, what’s the point of keeping with this charade between us?”
Shrugging, he ushered them to his bike once more, smiling as she stood there, arms crossed in all her stubborn, adorable glory. Yeah, so much for walking away from him—for not listening to what he had to say. Besides that, Ky knew this supposed charade between them was never going to be just a charade by the time he was done with her.
Staring down at her, Ky watched as her jaw twitched, a decision played out over her face. All he could envision was her—living with him, being his girl—his fiancé. The completion in his life that’d been missing for so fucking long now. And he’d be lying to say that he was in no way envisioning her naked chest pressed against his as he pushed himself inside of her. Nope, not lying at all. Because yeah, Callie was hot. And he wanted her. In all the ways that he could have her.
“Ky?”
Was she talking to him? Was that curiosity in her soft voice, or fear? Either way he knew he looked like a dumbass.
“Ky, what is it?”
A warm hand encircled his upper arm, tucking under the sleeve of his jacked up, preppy boy shirt he’d been forced to wear to this place.
God her hands were soft. He wanted to kiss them, taking his time with her fingertips at first, before working his way down to her palms, her wrists, her arms … Fuck, he could imagine all the possibilities. Her body was his to figure out. Never again would it be explored by another man.
“Jesus, Ky, do you need some meds to focus here? I’ve lost you. Completely.” No. She hadn’t lost him. She’d never lose him. He was hers—always would be—and she hadn’t seen anything yet.
“Nope.” Finally, he broke his gaze, grinning as he slid onto the seat and started the engine. She hesitated a second before finally sitting too, her arms immediately tightening around his stomach. Christ, she felt amazing. Smelled even better. “Hang on tight, pumpkin,” he teased, foregoing the answer about the dating charade, too busy loving the groan in her voice at his name for her. “You’re in for one hell of a ride now.”
And he sure as hell wasn’t speaking on a literal bike front either.
(Please note, this is not properly edited. Like, at all.) This is part of a deleted chapter where Ky and Callie went out to a lunch/dinner thing with Ky's dad. And, if you can't tell, it didn't go according to plans...
He wanted to kill him. Never had murderous thoughts about anybody in his life hit him like this before. But as he stood there, staring back over his shoulder at his douchebag of a father, Ky had to wonder if anyone would miss the bastard if he suddenly just disappeared off the face of the earth.
Christ almighty, sons weren’t supposed to feel this way about their fathers. What was wrong with him?
Didn’t matter. None of this mattered. At least not anymore. Getting by without the money would be doable. He’d make himself get by without anything from that man. Get an extra job, take on more shifts at the shop. Hell, things were already looking better as it was for his gramps and him. The last loan payment on the car had finally been forked over—granted it was trashed anyways, but still—that was one less bill needing paid.
The money he needed, the money his father never deserved to have in the first place, was stuck in the evil fuck’s hold; unattainable until the day Ky turned twenty–one. But it wasn’t for personal reasons he wanted it. No, not at all, actually. He needed it so he could finally pay back the Bennett family—prove his worth—make Cal’s parents see that he was good at settling debts; make them see that he was a man now, ready to be seen as more than just the loser boy next door with the skateboard, guitar, and long hair.
More importantly, Ky was ready to prove to them that he was a man deserving of their daughter’s love.
Yes, that’s why he was here. For Calla Lily. For the girl who held his heart in the palms of her hands for over four and a half years now.
Ever since that day on her porch, seeing her hovering over the ground with that cement dick in her hand, Ky knew that fate had brought her home for a reason. It was his time. Dammit, it was their time. And he wasn’t about to let her go now that he had her back in his life.
He knew all the crap she’d gone through still ate away at her. Hell, it still tore him up too. But they’d made that promise together almost a year ago—one where they’d told each other that no matter what, their friendship would never cease. For Brent. But, like he always knew she would, Cal broke that promise made in metaphorical blood—forgot about him to be more specific. Mainly because he tried to make her remember; tried to make her move on, and get over the pain. He’d done it, and damn did it feel good. But Brent and Tracy’s accident would never be something Cal could run from. Because she’d been there—seen it all go down—and was helpless to do anything about it but just stand by and watch.
Memories were supposed to be remembered though, weren’t they? That way you could move on, get your life in gear and make it better when the bad shit was all said and done. Memories to Ky were the stepping stones to getting you where you were meant to be. To happiness, contentment. That way you can take on the world and make life better again. And dammit, Calla Lily wasn’t about to get away from him now. She’s all he wanted—nothing mattered but making her finally realize that together, they were right.
Screw age; screw the fact that numbers seemed to define a person’s timeline in life. Ky had been through enough in life to know what he wanted. And he wanted a forever … with Calla Lily Hampton.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand, yanking her toward the door, ready to lose himself in his bike, ready to have her legs wrapped around his waist—to feel her hot breath against his neck as they drove to his secret destination. It’d be the icing on his Calla Lily, motorcycle cupcake. Sweet, sexy, exhilarating Calla Lily. The girl was his perfection.
“No, I think you should stay. I’ll … just go call my mom or something.” Her big blue eyes gazed up at him in unease. Biting his tongue, Ky watched as she pushed her emotions away with one simple sentence.
“Hey.” They’d made it as far as the door before he pulled her close to his chest. Tucking her head under his chin, he wrapped his arms around her lower back. She was shaking now. “Don’t listen to my dad. He’s an ass—”
“No. It’s not your dad.” He jerked his head back to stare down at her, pushing her chin up with his finger. Her eyes were unfocused, and she barely seemed to be able to finish her words. “You need to go back in there.”
“Calla Lily, Jesus, I don’t want to go back in there.”
“Well, you should. You need to make things right with him.”
“Baby.” She stiffened at his word. Yeah, he had no clue where that came from. But if pet names got her attention, then he’d definitely have to get more creative next time. Shaking his head, he shifted his thoughts back to her words, the strain of her voice. “My dad is an ass wipe. He’s not even family to me anymore. Gramps is my family. You are my family.” Swallowing, he yanked her back to his chest, too embarrassed to see her expression at his ball–chopped confession. Once again, she relaxed in his embrace.
That’s right, she’d better get used to this. He was going all in here, embarrassment or not. Never would Ky step down from what he said, even if his dick was suddenly channeling a vagina. Blame it on all those girlie movies she used to make him watch in high school.
“I-I,” she stuttered, obviously flustered with what to say in return. He told her the truth though. She was family—his family, dammit. And he could only imagine what she’d do or say when he told her the next truth someday. The truth when he said how desperately in love with her he was.
“You what?”
“I just … I just wanna go home, okay?” Pulling back, she stared up at him again. Her face was pale, unemotional now. Damn. What else was going on in that head of hers? Too bad she was getting her way.
“No.”
Eyes widening, she gaped up at him, pulling out of his hold completely, snapping her hands against her thighs. He grinned and stuck his hands into his jean pockets.
That’s right, Calla Lily, I’m in control now.
“Um, excuse me? Did you just tell me no?” A spark of humor, along with disbelief, shimmered behind her intense gaze.
“Yup.” Shrugging, Ky turned away, but not before pulling her along with him at his side. Surprisingly, she didn’t fight for control.
“You did not just tell me no and actually think I was going to listen to you?”
“I sure did, darlin’. Simple as that.”
“Um, yeah, I kind of heard you. But since when do I have to, you know, do what you say?” she stuttered, tripping over the cute little shoes adorning her tiny feet. He stopped walking, distracted by that purple dress she had on now, following the length up her body. Taking extra time to appreciate her generous full breasts that seemed to be wanting to come out to play with his gaze the longer he studied them. Damn. This wasn’t the time to eye hump her, but Cal had some serious curvage going on after being away for nine months at school.
“If you’re going to just up and walk away from your father, what’s the point of keeping with this charade between us?”
Shrugging, he ushered them to his bike once more, smiling as she stood there, arms crossed in all her stubborn, adorable glory. Yeah, so much for walking away from him—for not listening to what he had to say. Besides that, Ky knew this supposed charade between them was never going to be just a charade by the time he was done with her.
Staring down at her, Ky watched as her jaw twitched, a decision played out over her face. All he could envision was her—living with him, being his girl—his fiancé. The completion in his life that’d been missing for so fucking long now. And he’d be lying to say that he was in no way envisioning her naked chest pressed against his as he pushed himself inside of her. Nope, not lying at all. Because yeah, Callie was hot. And he wanted her. In all the ways that he could have her.
“Ky?”
Was she talking to him? Was that curiosity in her soft voice, or fear? Either way he knew he looked like a dumbass.
“Ky, what is it?”
A warm hand encircled his upper arm, tucking under the sleeve of his jacked up, preppy boy shirt he’d been forced to wear to this place.
God her hands were soft. He wanted to kiss them, taking his time with her fingertips at first, before working his way down to her palms, her wrists, her arms … Fuck, he could imagine all the possibilities. Her body was his to figure out. Never again would it be explored by another man.
“Jesus, Ky, do you need some meds to focus here? I’ve lost you. Completely.” No. She hadn’t lost him. She’d never lose him. He was hers—always would be—and she hadn’t seen anything yet.
“Nope.” Finally, he broke his gaze, grinning as he slid onto the seat and started the engine. She hesitated a second before finally sitting too, her arms immediately tightening around his stomach. Christ, she felt amazing. Smelled even better. “Hang on tight, pumpkin,” he teased, foregoing the answer about the dating charade, too busy loving the groan in her voice at his name for her. “You’re in for one hell of a ride now.”
And he sure as hell wasn’t speaking on a literal bike front either.
October 12, 2014
October 8, 2014
It's happened.
Three years ago, if someone would've told me I'd be writing this blog post, then I probably would've laughed in their faces before calling them insane. I mean, seriously. I was Heather: The two-spaces-after-a-period, girl. The girl who didn't believe in the power of awesome dialogue. The girl who head hopped and wrote in first person present tense, with two points of view that sounded IDENTICAL to one another. *GASP* I know. I. Know.
But now, here I sit at my kitchen table, typing this blog through my happy tears, wanting nothing more than to hug my past self. And this is exactly what'd I'd say, too...
You'll get better, just keep writing. Don't stop, no matter the icky hand you're dealt. No matter if you've encountered three failed publishing houses (one in which stole all your royalties from your debut book.) Your skin will thicken over time, and those bad reviews are just opinions. People WILL buy your books. People WILL fan girl over Jack and Mason and David. Those three nights a week Starbucks trips and the 25 extra pounds you've put on? It'll all be worth it in the end, too, so quit your crying. Quit thinking you've failed because your first book didn't draw the agent love like you'd hoped. Quit saying you're going to give up because the fifty million Twitter contests you entered never went in your favor. And lastly, that idea in your head? The one about the single daddy and the half-Filipino girl? Put it aside, finish it later. Because THAT will be your book.
Through all of my crazy ups and downs, my heartbreak and tears, too, I am ridiculously ecstatic to announce that I. Have. An agent. A fabulous agent at that.
(FYI? I'm not a GIF user. In fact, they make me a little a dizzy and frankly they annoy the bejeezus out of me. But for this sorta post how can I NOT express the awesomeness through them?)
Onward to my story.
The agent that I accepted the offer from was actually not my first offer. In fact, my first offer was sent to me on September 22nd by a very nice agent with whom I'd submitted to over the summer. I was super happy with her. She said all the right things on the phone, was extremely professional and made me feel like I'd be a very welcome part of their literary home. I was set to say yes, had emailed a lot of other authors repped by her, too. All of which had very positive things to say. But I knew I had quite a few queries out still, (even a couple of fulls) so I did what was right: told her I'd like two weeks to think it over. That way I could contact the other agents first to be courteous.
So imagine my surprise when I sent off those emails and immediately had some responses. A few were very nice step asides, and then there were four of them that said they would definitely like to read the full and would get back to me by my date. I nodded to myself, and said 'Hey, that's cool." But I was honestly thinking I had my mind made up already.
But then it happened. A week and a half later I received an email from an agent...one of my DREAM agents, mind you. I'd been following her for months now on Twitter, always thinking to myself "Now this lady knows her stuff." I admired her deeply, her work ethics, and her straight forwardness. Heck, as far as amazing goes, she was that, and then some. She'd had my full for a month and a half already, (give or take a few days) so I was ready for the big R. *shivers* Heck, at first I didn't even want to open her email because my four year old had just used black nail polish to decorate her My Little Ponies and the mess. Was. Horrific. But then I said, "Eh, why not add a little more yuck to my day all at once and open it? Get it over with so to speak."
So I did.
And then I blinked. Fifty times in a row. (well, kinda, sorta...) Because right there in the very email I was sure said thanks, but no thanks, was something entirely different. She said she loved my new adult story, and wanted to see if I'd like to be represented by DLG
And this is, in fact, the stages I went through when it finally hit me what had happened.
Step one: Shock
Step two: Denial 
Step three: Call my mom, (because she will always be my best friend.) Message my CP, Katrina, and then came...the happy dance. (And if anyone knows me, they know EXACTLY how much I worship the happy dance.) 
Needless to say the fingernail polish was long forgotten because heck, nothing at this point could bring me down. Seriously. Two agents wanted ME? Was I dreaming? I mean, I had to be. But, like all things in publishing, I had to wait until my given due date to email my Y-E-S because I still hadn't heard from the other two agents reading my full.
I figured I 'd be okay waiting, because heck...I'd been waiting for so long as it was. I had a book releasing, too, and blog tours to prepare for. Not to mention a 13 year wedding anniversary to celebrate, and books to review for my blog. I could totally handle this. Totally.
But, hey...reality and thoughts are two entirely different things, lemme tell ya. Heck, if it weren't for some very important writerly friends in my life, I probably would've gone insane during my way. But I didn't. And I made it. And the day I hit send on that acceptance email to Stacey Donaghy of DLG Literary I knew that wait had definitely been worth it.
Publishing is hard. (Possibly harder than child birth and parenting, but that debate is still being had) But now I can breathe knowing I finally have someone in my corner to support me; that loves my work like I do.
There are four people I need to credit first for giving me the strength to get through this whole process.
1. The amazing Katrina Emmel. My CP. My friend. My confidant. The one person who helped me pretty The Imperfect Try up enough to garner agent attention at all. She's amazing, and one of THE best things that's ever happened to me.
2. Karen Bynum is quite possibly the best cheerleader in the world. She's been with me since the beginning. Heck, she's the one who encouraged me to find an agent in the first place. (Even if she never outright said so.) She's a girl who can make even the darkest days seem sunny.
3. Angela McPherson. One of my first authorly friends. She's IS the best friend a girl can have, even though she lives so terribly far away.
4. Finally, Kathleen Palm. Gah!! I have't known her for too long, but dang it, she's amazing. Always making me laugh through my tears. Always giving me Twitter hugs and sending me happy thoughts. I love this girl. SO much.
Okay, enough with the mush. I'm done crying. I'm, in fact, ready to party!!! (In my sweats, with my adult beverage in hand, of course.)
Because I'm officially agented.
By Stacey Donaghy.
Holy. Crap.
But now, here I sit at my kitchen table, typing this blog through my happy tears, wanting nothing more than to hug my past self. And this is exactly what'd I'd say, too...
You'll get better, just keep writing. Don't stop, no matter the icky hand you're dealt. No matter if you've encountered three failed publishing houses (one in which stole all your royalties from your debut book.) Your skin will thicken over time, and those bad reviews are just opinions. People WILL buy your books. People WILL fan girl over Jack and Mason and David. Those three nights a week Starbucks trips and the 25 extra pounds you've put on? It'll all be worth it in the end, too, so quit your crying. Quit thinking you've failed because your first book didn't draw the agent love like you'd hoped. Quit saying you're going to give up because the fifty million Twitter contests you entered never went in your favor. And lastly, that idea in your head? The one about the single daddy and the half-Filipino girl? Put it aside, finish it later. Because THAT will be your book.
Through all of my crazy ups and downs, my heartbreak and tears, too, I am ridiculously ecstatic to announce that I. Have. An agent. A fabulous agent at that.
(FYI? I'm not a GIF user. In fact, they make me a little a dizzy and frankly they annoy the bejeezus out of me. But for this sorta post how can I NOT express the awesomeness through them?)Onward to my story.
The agent that I accepted the offer from was actually not my first offer. In fact, my first offer was sent to me on September 22nd by a very nice agent with whom I'd submitted to over the summer. I was super happy with her. She said all the right things on the phone, was extremely professional and made me feel like I'd be a very welcome part of their literary home. I was set to say yes, had emailed a lot of other authors repped by her, too. All of which had very positive things to say. But I knew I had quite a few queries out still, (even a couple of fulls) so I did what was right: told her I'd like two weeks to think it over. That way I could contact the other agents first to be courteous.
So imagine my surprise when I sent off those emails and immediately had some responses. A few were very nice step asides, and then there were four of them that said they would definitely like to read the full and would get back to me by my date. I nodded to myself, and said 'Hey, that's cool." But I was honestly thinking I had my mind made up already.
But then it happened. A week and a half later I received an email from an agent...one of my DREAM agents, mind you. I'd been following her for months now on Twitter, always thinking to myself "Now this lady knows her stuff." I admired her deeply, her work ethics, and her straight forwardness. Heck, as far as amazing goes, she was that, and then some. She'd had my full for a month and a half already, (give or take a few days) so I was ready for the big R. *shivers* Heck, at first I didn't even want to open her email because my four year old had just used black nail polish to decorate her My Little Ponies and the mess. Was. Horrific. But then I said, "Eh, why not add a little more yuck to my day all at once and open it? Get it over with so to speak."
So I did.
And then I blinked. Fifty times in a row. (well, kinda, sorta...) Because right there in the very email I was sure said thanks, but no thanks, was something entirely different. She said she loved my new adult story, and wanted to see if I'd like to be represented by DLG
And this is, in fact, the stages I went through when it finally hit me what had happened.
Step one: Shock
Step two: Denial Step three: Call my mom, (because she will always be my best friend.) Message my CP, Katrina, and then came...the happy dance. (And if anyone knows me, they know EXACTLY how much I worship the happy dance.) Needless to say the fingernail polish was long forgotten because heck, nothing at this point could bring me down. Seriously. Two agents wanted ME? Was I dreaming? I mean, I had to be. But, like all things in publishing, I had to wait until my given due date to email my Y-E-S because I still hadn't heard from the other two agents reading my full. I figured I 'd be okay waiting, because heck...I'd been waiting for so long as it was. I had a book releasing, too, and blog tours to prepare for. Not to mention a 13 year wedding anniversary to celebrate, and books to review for my blog. I could totally handle this. Totally.
But, hey...reality and thoughts are two entirely different things, lemme tell ya. Heck, if it weren't for some very important writerly friends in my life, I probably would've gone insane during my way. But I didn't. And I made it. And the day I hit send on that acceptance email to Stacey Donaghy of DLG Literary I knew that wait had definitely been worth it.
Publishing is hard. (Possibly harder than child birth and parenting, but that debate is still being had) But now I can breathe knowing I finally have someone in my corner to support me; that loves my work like I do.
There are four people I need to credit first for giving me the strength to get through this whole process.
1. The amazing Katrina Emmel. My CP. My friend. My confidant. The one person who helped me pretty The Imperfect Try up enough to garner agent attention at all. She's amazing, and one of THE best things that's ever happened to me.
2. Karen Bynum is quite possibly the best cheerleader in the world. She's been with me since the beginning. Heck, she's the one who encouraged me to find an agent in the first place. (Even if she never outright said so.) She's a girl who can make even the darkest days seem sunny.
3. Angela McPherson. One of my first authorly friends. She's IS the best friend a girl can have, even though she lives so terribly far away.
4. Finally, Kathleen Palm. Gah!! I have't known her for too long, but dang it, she's amazing. Always making me laugh through my tears. Always giving me Twitter hugs and sending me happy thoughts. I love this girl. SO much.
Okay, enough with the mush. I'm done crying. I'm, in fact, ready to party!!! (In my sweats, with my adult beverage in hand, of course.)
Because I'm officially agented.
By Stacey Donaghy.
Holy. Crap.
