Robert Fiacco's Blog, page 26

Finding the Right Mentor

Last week we talked about why having a mentor is wise regardless of our age or position in life. This week I want to look at how we go about selecting the right mentor.

Mentors come in all shapes and sizes and can have varied backgrounds, life experiences and communication techniques. Picking the correct mentor will be critical to your future development and success.

-So where do you start? You start with yourself! The first step in developing a mentor relationship is to understand the following about yourself.

 What do you want to accomplish out of life? Do you want to be a successful sales representative, a teacher a business leader? Determining what you want will be key to helping find the right mentor.
What do you expect from a mentor relationship? It’s important that you communicate your objectives clearly so that you are not disappointed.
Make sure you are willing to accept advise even if it means change.

-So you know what you want! How do you select a mentor?

Look at the “fruit on the tree”. When you select a mentor, that person should have many of the qualities that you would want to emulate.

Successful
Honesty
High Integrity
Good moral foundation

            These qualities are not always obvious but if you look, ask questions and do your homework your can find out what kind of person you are considering.

     2. Look for someone in your field or a field you are aspiring to go into. Also, find someone local or nearby if possible so you can meet face to face as needed.

     3. Lastly, listen to your “gut” most times you can get a feeling for someone. If your senses say stay away …listen.

A mentor relationship can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. It, however, is like everything else in life - you will get out of it what you put into it

 

Good Selling

Bob

Image courtesy of stock images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“We’re never too old for a mentor and five reasons why”

“According to a survey by the American Society For Training and Development 75% of private sector executives said a mentor had been critical in helping them reach their current position”.  

 In today’s ever changing fast paced business world we can often times find ourselves questioning our business strategy and direction. If we think back to our youth, many of us were fortunate to find that special person who, for some reason took an interest in our success. It could have been a teacher, coach or scout leader. It was someone who had far more life experiences than we did and was willing to share them and give guidance to us. In business, as adults, finding that same type of special person who is willing to share his or her expertise can save us much time and frustration as we build or careers and find our place in the corporate world.

Here are five reasons a mentor can help our careers;

 

An experienced mentor, who has walked in your shoes before, can save you invaluable time on the learning curve. Why learn the hard way if there are experience individuals to guide you on the path.
 The right mentor who is committed to your growth and success can ask “the tough” questions that can push you to higher levels of success.
A mentor can help evaluate your business strategy before you hit a wall. He or she can say “What the heck are you doing?” before you go too far astray from your goals.
Many times we have no one to go to when we are frustrated. A mentor can be a solid shoulder and voice of reason when needed.
 The right mentor can open doors that you never thought possible by helping develop new and rewarding resources and business contacts.

No matter what your position, age or experience level you can always grow and become better. Finding the right person to guide you as a mentor can help you achieve that.

Coming next week “How to Find a Qualified Mentor”

Good Selling

Bob

Image courtesy of stock images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Four Reasons I Hate You !

 You want to know how I can possibly hate you. You say I don’t even know you? You are correct, I don’t know you and, really, I don’t hate you either….. just wanted to get your attention.

 But if I did hate you, here is why:

 1 – I hate you because; I think you’re responsible for all my problems!

 2 – I hate you because; I think you want something that is mine!

 3 – I hate you because; I think you think you’re better than me!

 4 – I hate you because; I think you hate me!

The key words above are “I think”. They say that our perception is our reality, and that is true, but the problem is that perception is not always truth. So often in business and in life, we perceive one of the above, many times, based on nothing factual. This can lead to thoughts of worry, anger and even hate.

So much of the social hatred in today’s world is based on perceptions that one group of people has about another group and so much of it is unfounded, on both sides. 

Business can be the same way. Sales agents from one company have perceptions about sales agents from another company and this can lead to uneducated and unfair sales tactics.

Unfortunatly I don’t have the answer to this problem neither in the social or business realm. But, what I do believe is this; hate is a terrible emotion! It hardens and poisons the mind, the heart, and the soul. Carrying hate can cause emotional and physical stress to our bodies.

We truly can control what we think and what we believe. And when we understand this, our perceptions can be totally different, thus changing our emotional feeling and hatred can be….. No more.

Good Selling

Bob

DON’T STOMP ON “MY” DREAM

The Three reasons my dream will be a reality!

If you follow my blog post you know I try and focus on issues and topics that can help us overcome the challenges we face in life and our careers. Certainly, I realize, I spend a lot of time on rejection and the issues around that topic.

In today’s blog I want to share with you a personal rejection I suffered not too long ago.

Those of you who follow my writings know that I am excited about my debut book Showing Up To Play. I would like to share with you a letter that I receive in October of 2011 from a publishing house.

 I won’t bore you with the whole letter just the meat…..here it is.

“Note that if you have sent us something we DO NOT represent, it could be a REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME BEFORE YOU HEAR FROM US. This is true even if Jesus, Mohammed, or Princess Diana came to you in a cloud of light and told you we’d make an exception in your case. It’s true even if you know someone who knows Oprah’s housekeeper’s mailman and therefore you are just certain you’ll get on the show when your book is released. (PS– she’s off the air now!) And it’s even true if you are willing to swear solemnly that it will be an international best seller. (Yep, we’ve heard all those promises many times!)

If you’re a normal, mentally healthy person with an idea that interests this agency, you’ll hear from us.

Meanwhile, please do not follow up with a phone call, another email or a letter. A well –trained, intelligent assistant will respond to you as soon as possible.”

 Now, you don’t like my work…fine!

You want to reject my work…..Fine!

Why do you have to stomp on my dream too? Isn’t it enough to just reject me?

I see this every day in our business, with our prospecting efforts and even on sales calls. For some reason it isn’t enough for some people to say “No thank you. I’m not interested” They feel the need to try and totally destroy us. Thankfully these “losers” are few and far between. I received over thirty rejection letters before BQB Publishing agreed to publish my book. On June 21st my dream will become a reality Showing Up to Play will be released and with your continued support I can show those thirty some publishing companies what a mistake they made.

Here is why this will happen:

1-    I didn’t listen to those who felt I had no business writing a book.

2-    I believed in my dream and that it could become a reality.

3-    I continued to take action toward my dream even through the rejection.

 Never let anyone steal your dream!

Good Selling

Bob

 

 

“Five Tricks to Painless Public Speaking”

 Ever since I can remember “I’ve been a meeting waiting to happen”. Just the other day my wife said to me, “you always need an audience”. She was correct; I have never been hesitant to get up in front of a crowd and pontificate. So, naturally, it is difficult to understand someone’s fear of public speaking.

In November 2012, Glen Croston, PhD, wrote an article that appeared in Psychology Today entitled “Surveys done regarding fear commonly show fear of public speaking at the top of the list.”  I can’t tell you how many people I have encountered over the years that have said they would rather undergo the most painful procedures imaginable than to give a speech. Sorry, I just don’t get it. So let me save you the pain with “Five Tricks to Painless Public Speaking”.

 1. Quit telling yourself, and everyone around you, how nervous you are leading up to your talk. Professing your fear has no cleansing power, it only reinforces the problem. Instead, visualize yourself getting a standing ovation when you finish. Now, don’t say, “I can’t do that”. The one thing you and I can control is what we think, so think positive!

 2. Don’t try and be funny if your not. I always have people tell me you have to start a presentation with a joke. Well, in my experience, that’s true if you in fact can tell a joke. But believe me, not everyone can. Nothing can set a bad tone for you in a talk than having no one chuckle at your opening quip.

 3. Never, and I mean NEVER, solicit reactions from the audience unless you are sure you will get the response you are looking for. Questions like “doesn’t this make sense?” or “what do you think?” in a group can set you up for a very “awkward pause” if you don’t receive what you were expecting.

 4. Be prepared and make sure you know your stuff. I try to memorize every presentation I do. I don’t like reading to my audience. Every situation is different, and sometimes when a lot of data is involved you need to use notes, but I would try and mix up the presentation so some of it seems natural.

        THIS IS THE BIG ONE!

 5. Pick out one person and talk directly to that person. In a large audience no one can tell if you are looking at them or the person next to them. Most everyone can talk to someone one on one, so make your speech a conversation with a friend. This really works!

Just like everything in life, there is really no “magic bullet” to overcoming the things in life that challenge us. It take doing the things that are hard and making them easy or at least bearable. Hope this helps.

Good Selling

Bob

First Press Release For “Showing Up To PLay”

Attached is my publishers first press release for my debut book “Showing Up To Play” I hope you enjoy

http://www.prlog.org/12132487-compelling-new-guide-with-golf-inspired-advice-for-business-professionals.html

One Simple Question to Help Keep Legal Issues Moral

One Simple Question to Help Keep Legal Issues Moral

“If there is to be any peace it will come through being not having.” – Henry Miller

Why is it that so many people believe that if it is legal then it is ok, regardless of the moral consequences to others?

Certainly, I realize what a sensitive discussion this can ignite, as the struggle between legality and morality crosses almost every facet of our lives. The arguments on both sides are passionate and at times vicious. In this short blog, I want to focus on business and stay away from any social issues.

To me, as my simple-minded as I can be, it boils down to this: is anyone getting hurt unjustly by what is being done? In my world, a fast talking, “slickster” can get anyone to sign anything, if the timing is right. The ramifications of signing can destroy an innocent person or family but it can be perfectly legal.

Looking at morality, the hardest issue to deal with is the fact that morality lies in the heart and soul of each man and woman. Morality is not something you and I can easily control within another person. Sadly, all moral or legal issues, at their core, stem from want (greed). Revenge, money, love, possessions, or the desire of one to posses something that another has, are things that can lead one to either break the law or ignore social morality. But as Miller said “peace is found in being not having”.

Crimes of greed are all too common in the world today, and we can see and hear them at anytime on the national news. But, what truly pains my soul is to see morally bankrupt individuals who can hide behind the law and destroy others with a clear conscious.

It is this simple, in any decision. Ask this one simple question “is anyone getting hurt by what I do?” If you do this and then follow your moral compass, you will find peace.

Good Selling,

Bob

Image courtesy of stock images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Three Secrets to Handling Life’s Bad Bounces

Life will always throw us our share of “bad bounces.” The key to dealing with the “bad bounces” is what we do when they come our way. I would like to share three simple steps that can help propel you to the top when faced with a “bad bounce.”

At Augusta National Golf Club on April 13, 2013, on the 15th hole of the 77th Masters Tournament, Tiger Woods was handed what many would say to be the worst break of his career. A combination of a great shot that took a “bad bounce,” and an error on his part would moved him from the potential leader to starting the next day four off the lead.

So Tiger finishes the 2013 Masters tied for fourth place, four strokes off the leader, and a swing of around $1.1Million in lost earnings for the weekend. What happens now? How does he deal with such a “bad bounce”, unless he considers a major championship and a million dollars insignificant?

I suspect Tiger will do exactly what he has always done in these situations. Earlier this year, after missing the cut at Dbu Dhabi, something that rarely happens, Tiger mounted an overwhelming win in his next start at Torrey Pines. When we think back to 2006, when Tiger failed to make the cut for the US open, he went on to finish 2nd in his next start and then to win an unbelievable seven straight tournaments in a row, including two majors.

The question is: what allows someone to bounce back after suffering a “bad bounce” in life? We all go through something, whether it is relationships, business, health issues, etc. What allows one person to pick up and move on to great heights of success while others falter by the wayside, unable to recover from a “bad bounce”?

Experts who have watched Tiger and other great achievers have discovered three unique qualities that are common in these types of individuals.

Number 1 – They don’t look back. Winners in all walks of life take the “bad bounce”, shake it off, and move on. High performers realize that there is little value in dwelling on what might have been. They realize that the future holds all of the opportunity.

Number 2 – They focus on the good and forget the bad. Life is about choices. How we think and feel about things is a choice that we all can control. Successful individuals realize that they can create their own world by what they think. Those thoughts can turn into positive actions, thus creating the world they focus on.

Number 3 – They always want to take another shot.  One thing is certain about people that win – they always want another shot – especially if they don’t succeed with the first one. Again, winners have the ability to move on and try again when a “bad bounce” comes their way.

Thankfully the “bad bounces” we take don’t normally cost us $1.1Million. But, the car breaking down when the rent is due, a case not closing when we really need it, an untimely illness, etc can cause financial, mental, and emotional stress. I hope these three steps can help you overcome those “bad bounces” of life.

Good Selling

Bob

Follow Your Dream

“Follow Your Dream”

“There is one great truth on this planet: wherever you are, or whatever are you do, when you really want something it’s because that desire is the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth.” –unknown

In the song “Flashdance… what a feeling” by Irene Cara, there is a simple but profound line: “take your passion and make it happen.” The simplicity of the line is overwhelmingly inspiring, but the implementation of this thought can cause heartache, anxiety, and frustration.

It seems so simple: find what you want to do. Go and do it.

So why is it that so many unhappy souls seem to float through life with, seemingly, no idea of what their passion is? The phrase, “I just don’t know what I want to do with my life!” is repeated so often by so many that it seems inborn to mankind.

Over the years, I have met people of all ages who are frustrated with the life they live. They feel like they are trapped with no opportunity to fulfill their purpose, much less the ability to work toward a dream. These individuals believe they are stuck in an endless career that will leave them unfulfilled and unhappy.

So why does this happen to so many so often? I believe that there are three major reasons why individuals will not follow their dreams.

It is hard for many people to imagine and visualize themselves doing something that they have never experienced. Imagine that you secretly have always had a dream of owning a flower shop, but have never worked with flowers. On top of that, you have never even been in business before.

Faced with this situation, the average person would be discouraged, and would not take the steps they would need to take in order to fulfill the vision of their dreams. But a driven person wouldn’t let the lack of knowledge hold them back. They would research about growing flowers, plant a garden; take business courses in the evening, etc. All of sudden, their dreams become their vision, then next a reality.
Many people are afraid of change. Change is never comfortable, especially when it moves us into totally uncharted waters. I believe this fear of change is the reason so many people don’t allow themselves to dream what is really in their hearts. Fear can stop us from dreaming at all, much like the quote that says, “I dare not dream of that which I cannot have.” Change is uncertain and that which is uncertain can paralyze us.
The fear of failure is ingrained deep inside many of us. This fear will sometimes not even allow us to attempt to follow our dreams. But is failure real?

Let’s say that your dream was to move to a new location with a different climate that would allow you a totally different lifestyle. But earlier in your life, you tried this exact thing. You made a move, but it didn’t work out and you were forced to move back to where you started. You could possibly say that you failed, but I believe as long as the spark of that dreams stays burning in your heart, you have not failed. You can, at any time, try again. You only fail if quit and give up.

It is easy to accept life as it comes to us, but the price we pay in our soul when life’s dreams remain unfulfilled is equal to a living hell, a life filled with regret of what might have been. Do not allow your dreams to die, no matter what your age or current circumstance. When your dreams are bigger than your fears, anything is possible.

For: Boo

Good Selling

Bob.

photo by – www.dreamswork.com

You’re Not the Boss of Me” – Nine Traits Bad Leaders Lack

It often seems like everyone wants to be the boss. Individuals that go into sales are many times looking to control their own destiny and manage themselves. When you take on the responsibility of a sales manager, you assume the role of leadership for a business that you can, most times, build as large as you want.

With leadership comes responsibility, whether it is managing a small to medium sales team, a multimillion dollar organization, or just you. I recently read that businesses don’t fail, leaders do. There are core competencies that are a must to be a great leader. Here are nine characteristics that good leaders lack

1 – Bad Leaders Have a Lack of Vision – Poor leaders typically are not visionaries and lack the ability to see how things can be. They struggle to be able to see the big picture and only focus on short term results without weighing the long term effect of their decisions.

2 – Bad Leaders Lack Character – Poor leaders many times lack the internal moral compass that can guide them in ethical behavior in all facets of their lives. Many individuals feel that because it is legal it is acceptable, even-though it may not be ethical. This is a fallacy that will most often catch up with all individuals.  

3 – Bad Leaders Lack a Record of Past Success   – Certainly the past is not indicative of future results, but individuals that have a history of success normally will perform at that level. Too often we see individuals given responsibility beyond their capacity, which can lead to the detriment of the organization.

4 – Bad Leaders Lack the Confidence to Surround Themselves with People Better Than Themselves – Don’t be a know it all! Poor leaders at all levels, many times, feel they have all the answers and never seek advice or counsel from others. This limits one’s insight and perspective.

5 – Bad Leaders Lack Communication Skills – Leaders that lack success many times either lack the ability, or the desire, to communicate with their teams. Clear communication is essential to success in any organization, and a leader who does not feel the need to keep in touch with his key stake holders cannot succeed long-term.

6 – Bad Leaders Lack Compassion for Others – The concept of service above self is foreign to poor leaders.  Belief that the needs of business partners and customers come second to the bottom line is a common trait in poor leadership. Because of this, organizations cannot build a long term following that is loyal and committed to the brand.

7 – Bad Leaders have a Lack of Diversity – People are different. What motivates one will not motivate all. To many time leaders will try and build “cookie cutter” organizations with little success. Systems are important, but people and markets all differ in how we implement the system needs to fit the situation.

8 – Bad Leaders Will Not Take Responsibility – Great leaders always take responsibility for their failures, and seldom take credit for their successes. Poor leaders are quick to blame someone or something else when things are going wrong.

9 – Bad Leaders Lack Patience – A successful organizations take time to build and its market will fluctuate up and down. Poor leaders want immediate results, and many times do not allow good systems to take hold.

All successful organizations require great leadership. Many will raise their hand to take on the role, but few truly understand what is required. If you are honored with the opportunity to lead, please take that trust with the utmost commitment.

Good Selling

Bob