Rachel Miller's Blog

The Gift of Loneliness

Post Theme: God’s Gifts to us through Loneliness

3:45 a.m.

I slipped from beneath the heavy blankets, dressed in my warmest clothing, and quietly stole through the halls and staircases of the orphanage. A blast of cold air drove any remaining sleepiness away as I stepped into the dimly lit courtyard. I began walking, once around the large courtyard, twice, three times… For years this had been my favorite place and time for prayer. It was quiet, almost eerily so. The wind swayed the tops of the giant poplars that grew up between the buildings; but on the street level it was calm, sheltered from whatever storm was brewing.

Snow and ice crunched beneath my feet as I made my circuits. I prayed up and down both sides of a 3×5 card, prayed for each of the people still sleeping behind the dark windows above me, prayed for my family, for friends I hadn’t seen for years, for things in our ministry that were especially on my heart. As I finished and slipped the card into my coat pocket, a light came on above me. The world was beginning to stir.

As the trees creaked and groaned in the breeze, heaviness crept into my spirit. I reached into my pocket again, this time pulling out a set of 3×5 cards, laminated with packing tape to keep them from being ruined by the chaos of the day. I studied them for a moment, got my starting point, and quietly began quoting the verses I had been memorizing. The words came in rhythm to my steps, but my mind wasn’t on them. I heard a door open at the far end of the courtyard and turned to see a group of our staff headed out for their morning jog. I watched them disappear into the darkness beyond the front gate. I completed my circle around the courtyard, making one more attempt at the verses; but it was no use. I couldn’t focus on memorization with such a burning question in my heart.

“Lord,” the whispered word escaped as a vapor, rising through the cold air toward Heaven, “why is this school year so lonely? You warned me that last year was going to be lonely, but this year there was no warning…Knowing was much easier.”

The previous year had been difficult. The area of ministry that I had been involved in had taken me out of the normal circle of staff and friends that I had worked closely with in the past, but it had also been filled with joys and victories and approached with a heart prepared to endure the lonely hours.

This year was different. I was surrounded by people all the time, and yet I found myself deep in an incredible loneliness. Everyone was busy, having little time for real conversation. Those who did come to talk poured out their hearts but rarely asked about my own. It was the way it was. I was still content to be where I was, still happy in what the Lord had given me to do. I was just lonely—painfully lonely.

I don’t suppose I expected an immediate answer to my question, but it came. It was very simple, but so powerful it took my breath away. God said,

“Because I love you enough to want to walk alone with you.”

My eyes filled with tears as the meaning of the simple words sank into the crevices of my heart. God loved me. I knew that. But this was a new thought: He loved me enough to want to be alone with me. I had known He wasn’t allowing loneliness in order to make me miserable. I had also known that those lonely moments were opportunities to spend more time with Him. But I had never considered that He had allowed that loneliness specifically because He wanted to spend time with me. He wanted these early morning hours together as much as I did. He wanted the quiet moments as midnight approached and papers still had to be graded. He wanted the moments walking to widows’ houses with no one to accompany me. He wanted the lonely moments to Himself—because He loved me.

We all attempt to avoid loneliness. Even God said it wasn’t good for a man to be alone. That’s why He created Eve and established the institution of marriage—the supposed loneliness fix-all. Then sin came into the world, and that perfect union was no longer perfect. Loneliness found its way back in.

For some loneliness is rare, for others it may be almost constant. We try to push it away, but is it holding a gift we’ve been missing?

We each want someone who will love us enough to seek out opportunities to be alone with us. In those alone moments, we come to know one another. We don’t just learn one another’s habits or preferences—we come to know each other by heart.

That cold morning I realized that, even though loneliness was hard, God had given me a gift. He was setting aside time to be with me—because He loved me.

In Psalm 73:25,26 the psalmist says,

“Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon the earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

He had learned the beauty of walking with the Lord. He had realized that only God fills the empty space in our hearts. He knew that God was the only inheritance (portion) he needed.

Jesus frequently went out into the mountains or wilderness to be alone and to pray. His alone time was spent in the presence of God.

“And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.” Matthew 14:23

We live in a world of constant activity. Sometimes our society makes us feel guilty if we aren’t perpetually on the go, performing great feats, conquering worlds, and establishing kingdoms. But God said, “Be still, and know that I am God…” [Psalm 46:10]

The book of Hosea tells the story of Israel and her idolatry, but it does it through the story of Hosea and his wife Gomer. Gomer was constantly running around seeking satisfaction in the arms of men other than her husband. Hosea was constantly taking her back. Their story pictured the relational situation between God and Israel at that time. Israel was constantly running off to other gods, forgetting that it was their God who, as a husband, had cared and provided for them for so many years. All the while, God was pleading with them to come back.

In Hosea 2:14 God sets out a beautiful, tender plan to draw Israel back. He said, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.” He tells of the hope and the song that He is going to restore to her. And that instead of calling Him lord she will begin to call Him husband. But to get her to that point, He plans to draw her to a place with no distractions where no one will pull her attention away from Him. He is going to take her to a place where they can be alone.

Does loneliness indicate that we have been pursuing false gods? Sometimes, but it is also part of our design. God allows us to experience the emotion of loneliness, so that we will realize how much we need both Him and those around us. Sometimes that aching in our hearts is just a goad. It is God’s way of pressing us closer to Himself. The wildernesses are the places in which He wants to speak comfortably, tenderly, to us. The lonely path is where God speaks to our hearts.

We don’t generally relish the lonely moments. We don’t usually pine for them or pray, “Oh, Lord, I would just really like to be lonely today, to have that deep aching feeling of being absolutely and completely alone, to hurt with the desire for just one friend.” We just don’t do that. But the lonely moments are places of learning if we allow God to turn them into such places.

Back in Psalm 73, the psalmist went on to say, “But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.” (vs. 28) So often the lonely moments produce amazing fruit when we allow God to work through them. Have you ever thought of the grain of wheat Jesus spoke of, the one that must die to produce fruit? How dark and lonely in those moments before death! How quiet and still in those moments before new life and abundant fruit springs forth!

What of the loneliness for Moses or Elijah as they waited for God to pass by, to speak? Elijah had been so lonely and discouraged that he told God to just let him die. (I Kings 19:4) But then God fed him with a meal that lasted forty days and led him to an isolated cave. A wind so strong it broke the rocks came, then an earthquake, and then a fire; but God did not come in these. Instead, He came in a still small voice. It was then that Elijah wrapped his mantle about his face and went to the mouth of the cave. In that quiet solitude, he drew near to God. Just as God promised He would do with Israel in the book of Hosea, God came tenderly to Elijah. There God told him what he was to do next and revealed He had 7,000 other men in Israel who had not bowed their knees to false gods. Elijah wasn’t as alone as he thought. From that point, he went out and finished his ministry.

James 4:8 promises “draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” What better time to draw close to Him, than in those lonely moments, but how do we do it? From this passage we see the first step is repentance and submission to God. If we have never come to Him seeking salvation we cannot draw nigh to Him. Our sin separates us. Only the blood of Jesus Christ can cover that sin. And only calling on Him in faith and repentance will bring the salvation that will restore our relationship with Him for all eternity.

If we have already come to Him for salvation, then we must ask ourselves a very serious question:

Have I been resisting the loneliness God has given me?

Loneliness is a hard gift to accept. As I have written this over the last few days, God has shown me struggles in my life and ministry that were a form of loneliness I had never seen before. Frustrations were shadows and rejections faint reminders. Decisions were burdens. The void of companionless ministry became obvious when I spent a few wonderful moments with a friend whose joyful spirit used to be a daily encouragement. I had to ask myself, “Has God been offering me a loneliness that I have been rejecting at the expense of quiet, wonder-revealing moments with Him? Have I rushed around looking for answers and solutions, not realizing that He just wanted me to sit down and rest in Him?” While I can’t answer that fully, I know there have been moments of filling the gap with effort instead of quiet prayer. God’s desire is for us, like the psalmist, to find our portion in Him. How grateful I am that James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”

Loneliness isn’t a one-time test that we pass or fail. It walks a step or two behind us most of our lives, rushing forward at the most inconvenient and undesirable moments. If we let it drag us into self-pity, it will destroy us. If we let it press us closer to Christ, it is a gift.

Has God allowed lonely times in your life to show you His special love for you? What has He taught you in those lonely places?

The post The Gift of Loneliness appeared first on Rachel Miller Writer.

Two Knights in Shining…Pickups?

Yesterday I crossed paths with two knights. Yep. You read that right. Two KNIGHTS.

I mentioned in an earlier blog that my dad passed away a little over a year ago. He was the pastor of our small church, and, as a result of all that came our way in the wake of his passing, we are still sorting through the books, files, and tools which he kept at the church. Among those things were two large, four-drawer filing cabinets. While I’ve nearly mastered the art of wrestling my own heavy two-drawer cabinets from one corner of the house to another, I’m no match for any four-drawer cabinet. Not only that but between my mom and I, we have a Pontiac G6, a Plymouth Breeze, and a Suzuki Swift. While each of these has its endearing features, none of them were designed to haul—well, anything.

We knew the two of us could not move the cabinets from the office at the church to my mom’s home office. We would need help. This is where the first knight comes into the story. Our very dear friend and church deacon offered to help us move the cabinets because he has a pickup. He is a very kind man with a big heart, and is always looking for ways to help others. He is also 83.

I was just about to leave work when my mom called to tell me that he had decided yesterday was the day to move the cabinets, even though we didn’t have any other help available. The thought of him hoisting those monstrosities up into that truck alone was not a good one. So, I finished up what I was doing as quickly as possible and met him at the church. By the time I got there, he and his wife were already hard at work. They had three of the drawers out of one of the cabinets and were working on getting the cabinet itself loaded onto a dolly. I jumped in and did my best to help, all the while thinking of how much effort this required of him. There was never a word of complaint, never a mumble or a sense that he wanted to be somewhere else or doing something else, which, to be honest, is certainly what was going through my mind. He was simply happy to be coming to the rescue of a friend in need. That is chivalry.

We had just loaded the second cabinet into the back of the pickup and were strapping things down when I glanced up at the traffic on the busy street that runs alongside our church parking lot. I happened to catch sight of a small pickup and its driver. As they passed, the driver watched our goings on. I suppose we were quite a sight. After all, it’s not every day you see an elderly couple and a woman in a skirt and dress blouse hauling filing cabinets up into the bed of a pickup truck. A few minutes later, just as we were tying the last knot, that same pickup pulled into our parking lot and right up next to where we were working.

We greeted the man through his open window. He returned the greeting and then promptly said, “Do you guys need help?”

Enter knight number two. That man, like all the others who passed us, could have so easily just kept on going. But he didn’t. He drove up to the roundabout, went all the way around it, and came back to help us. That is chivalry.

We laughed about how we had just finished.

“Well,” he joked, “that’s what life’s all about, right? Timing?” But he didn’t just whip back out on the road again and leave us. He asked twice more if he could help somehow. He saw a situation of obvious need and wouldn’t let it go until he knew for sure he could do nothing. That is chivalry.

Once he had gone, we loaded the three drawers, covered them with a blanket, and then took the whole load to the house. We got everything safely put into place, and I only had to crawl over the porch banisters once to do it! Now, my mom can sort and file to her heart’s content. But if it hadn’t been for these knights, our deacon in particular, the cabinets would still be at the church with no one to get them where they belong.

My knights were simple men. Neither of them wore suits of armor. Neither of them rode gallant steeds. They chose pickups instead—the very thing needed for the task. I’m sure neither of them saw anything particularly special about what they were doing, but in truth they had picked up the banner of chivalry and were bearing it well.

Has someone behaved gallantly toward you recently? I’d love to hear your story! Please share in the comments below.

P.S. I haven’t been posting much of late, but that’s because I’ve been working on something big. Keep an eye out because it’s coming soon. If you haven’t already, take a minute to subscribe to Shadows of Chivalry (top right hand corner). That way you won’t miss anything!

[This post has been moved from www.shadowsofchivalry.wordpress.com. It was originally posted on September 11, 2015.]

The post Two Knights in Shining…Pickups? appeared first on Rachel Miller Writer.

Finding Purpose in Disappointment

Post Theme: Finding Purpose in Disappointment

Have you ever felt like a balloon that has lost its air, dropped to the ground, and been trampled? Crushed by the disappointment of deferred hope. Dreams shattered. Love unrequited. Promises Broken. In moments like these, we feel empty and ugly. Our sense of failure and brokenness overwhelm. So, how do we find purpose in deep disappointment?

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Earlier this month, a huge disappointment brought things crashing down around me. I pushed through the next six days, doing what needed to be done with little time to stop and think about that horrible pain and shock still lingering in my heart. Always the weight of the new reality brought by that disappointment hung over me. It could — no, it would — change everything.

When I finally had a moment to stop, the pent-up ugliness spilled out. The disappointment, the questions, the discouragement, the uncertainty of what the future would look like, my sense of complete failure — all of it. That ugly spilling, of course, led to a greater sense of disappointment in myself. I prayed a lot. I had been praying already, but I prayed more. I mentally searched the Scriptures for something to grab on to. Promise after promise came to my mind, but somehow I couldn’t quite catch hold of them and hang on.

Finally, I went to my office when I knew no one would be around and pulled out my Bible. I needed to understand the purpose of what I passing through and how to deal with the empty, worn down feeling in my heart. I needed hope.

I opened my Bible to Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” Being a bit of a word nerd, I started chasing down the roots of each word. I wasn’t surprised by what I found until I got to the word translated sick — chalah. Of course, the word means to be sick or worn down, but it also refers to something unexpected — the polished stones of a woman’s jewelry.

Becoming Polished Stones

When I was a little girl, my grandma had a rock tumbler. The process intrigued me. How could a dull, ordinary rock go into that little machine and come out as a beautiful shiny stone? I gave little thought to the grinding that stone must go through. Time after time it must endure hardship, first mixed with coarse grit, then with a finer grit. Little did I consider that the stone must turn over and over, flipping upside down and in circles until all the rough edges have worn away.

Through our disappointed hopes, God, in His love, is polishing us. The wounds we feel so deeply, the disappointments, the embarrassments, and the failures are all part of the polishing process. But we must respond rightly. Unlike a stone, we have the choice to stay under the Lapidary’s hand or to resist. Resisting leaves us with an angry, resentful, ugly heart. But, opening our hand and surrendering to His plan renders that sheen of grace in which His own reflection can be seen.

So how do we come out on the other side of disappointment as a polished stone?

Take Time for Healing

When we get sick, we take a sick day. At least, we should. Our bodies need rest to fight off whatever ails us. The same is true with a heart made sick by disappointment. When my disappointment came, I kept pushing until I could push no further. It was Christmas time and, as the director of a non-profit, that means a lot of extra responsibilities. It wasn’t until I started studying Proverbs 13:12 that I realized my heart needed time both to be sick and to get better.

Disappointment is accompanied by grief. It is a form of loss, perhaps not of something tangible but certainly of something we were longing for or even depending upon. When we acknowledge this grief before God, we open up the opportunity to experience His great consolation. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Consider the Rough Edges

We all have rough edges. God uses our disappointments to expose and begin wearing away those jagged places. For me, it was the realization that I had put much hope in one thing, one event, rather than letting my confidence rest fully in God. Seeing that in myself, after more than 20 years in ministry, is humbling. This is a lesson I feel I should have learned long ago, and in many aspects I have, but apparently not in this one.

How grateful I am that we have a forgiving God. He waits lovingly for us to bring our rough edges to Him and comforts our hearts as we pass through the pain of the polishing.

Let Go of the Unknown

That morning as I stared at my computer, letting the reality of my failure sink in, darkness settled down around me. I sat safe in the circle of light that was God’s promise, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” Beyond that, however, grew up a dark forest of questions, fears, and unknowns.

This is often the case. God, through His Word, gives us enough light for the next step. Our tendency is to reach into the surrounding darkness, grasping at the questions and hoping to pull an answer out with them. Clinging to the unknown only drags us further into a tangle of fear and uncertainty. Meanwhile, God waits for us to realize the answers are not in the darkness. The sooner we let go of the unknown and take hold of the One who knows all the sooner our hearts will be at peace.

Surrender to the Master’s Work

I loved my grandma, but she was not a master lapidary. Polishing rocks was nothing more than a hobby for her. God, on the other hand, is skilled at grinding and chipping away the rough edges in our lives until He has made up a gem of great beauty. He gives us the ability to resist His work. But when we do, our disappointments, hardships, losses, and failures tend to crack and break us, making the gem smaller rather than enhancing the beauty the Master saw there.

Surrender is in opposition to pride. We want to make ourselves into what we want to be, into what we envision for ourselves. Our will often stands in the way of receiving God’s greatest working in our lives. But, surrender brings peace, restores hope, and gives us confidence in the purpose of our disappointment. Then our disappointments smooth the rough, jagged edges into a beautiful, polished surface, which reflects the love and grace of the One who has promised to finish the work He began in us.

Maybe as others approach the New Year with hope and anticipation, you are coming to it through a time of disappointment. What practical steps can you take to embrace the polishing process? How can you take time to heal? What does letting go of the unknown and the letting the Master do His work look like for you?

 

This post originally appeared on Medium.com

The post Finding Purpose in Disappointment appeared first on Rachel Miller Writer.

Living Faith: Why You Have To Die Before You Can Live

Post Theme: Dying to SelfPhoto Source: pablo.buffer.com

I don’t know about you, but I want my faith to be real. I want a faith that magnifies God through my life. We make much ado about Christians whose lives reveal the faithfulness and power of God. Impossible odds overcome. Finances supplied in the moment of need. Protection in dire circumstances. We look at these stories and we say, “Wow! Isn’t God amazing.” It boosts our spirits and encourages us. But do we ever dare to hope God’s power might be seen in and through our own lives? And if we dare to hope it, do we step toward it?

Living Faith that Magnifies God:Requires Beginning Steps

I love to grab a camera and head out for an afternoon of hiking and exploring. I live within driving distance of both mountains and prairies. The landscape is breathtaking. But it doesn’t matter how much I love it. No matter how much I want to see what awaits me — I won’t get there if I never take the first step.

This seems elementary, but when it comes to faith many of us never get this. We want God to magnify Himself in our lives, but we want it to happen sort of magically. Or maybe I should say miraculously. We want a million dollars out of the sky when we haven’t picked up our Bible in a month. This isn’t the way God works.

God works in and through the relationship we have with Him. He wants our relationship to grow and bloom. He isn’t a genie. He’s the Creator of the Universe who chose to live among and in us. He knows us perfectly, but He longs for us to know Him as well.

If we want to see God’s power in our lives, then God and His plans must be part of our daily journey. We must step out, not toward some great feat or accomplishment but toward God Himself.

An Understanding of Who He Is

Several years ago, I stood atop a platform staring down into the crashing waves of the Black Sea. I don’t like heights, and I have a healthy respect of untamed bodies of water. This had me staring into both. On one side of me, stood my fearless Russian friend who found great exhilaration in the moment. On the other side, was an American friend. He calmly reassured me that leaping off of safe, solid ground into the churning depths below was okay.

I took a deep breath and, against my own better judgment, jumped. The air rushed by us. Our feet broke the surface of the water, and we went down into the swirling waves. A moment later, we surfaced and swam to the shore, laughing and splutting and having a grand time.

We came out happy and unscathed, but I wouldn’t have jumped if I hadn’t know something about my American friend. He had served in the Coast Guard. I knew if anything went wrong, I would be in good hands.

This is paramount to living a faith that magnifies God. How can we show who He is if we don’t know who He is? The more we seek to know Him, the more He will reveal of Himself. That revelation starts with His Word. He has told us so much about His character, His strength, and His faithfulness. We learn, for instance that He has promised never to leave us or forsake us. Then when our own trials, tests, or callings come, we can “jump” knowing He’s beside us.

A Willingness to Take Risks

Hudson Taylor and George Muller are two of my favorite Christian heroes. Over and over, God protected and provided for these men. He worked through them to touch countless lives and to inspire future generations to walk in faith. But, we would know nothing of either of these men if they hadn’t been willing to take a risk.

Can you imagine starting a children’s home on nothing but faith? And what could be riskier than a young, British missionary forging his way through inland China in the mid-nineteenth century? How could they take such risks?

They started small.

George Muller had already been trusting God for many, many years before he started his orphanage. This was nothing new to him, but now it would be public — on purpose. Not for the praise of those around him, but to magnify God.

Hudson Taylor started trusting God long before he went to China. An enormous test began in a sick room, where he gave away his last coin to provide for a family in need of a doctor’s care. By the time Hudson left for China, trusting was a way of life.

They had a secret.

These men could set out on their endeavors because they knew God. They had come to know Him through His Word and through their day-to-day lives. When the “big” moments came, their faith was already rooted in that knowledge. The risk was nothing compared to the omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence of God.

A Commitment to Follow Through

Once my feet left that platform in Russia, I was committed. No matter what I did at that point, I was going to plunge into the Black Sea. Gravity would see to that. If we want our lives to magnify God, then we must commit to follow through — no matter what the consequences.

Consequences is a big word with big ramifications. I tend to overthink things. I look at the potential end results before making any decision or taking any action. In many areas of life, this is a good thing. It keeps me from making dumb mistakes. But overthinking can be faith’s antagonist.

Once we identify the things that could go wrong, the temptation is to back away. In fact, even though some really awesome benefits could come from the same step, we’re still tempted to run. A life that magnifies not only has to be grounded in Who God is and be willing to take risks but it also has to be committed to following through — no matter what.

Death

And that is why we have to die before we can live. As long as we hold dear our possessions, desires, loved ones, and life, the potential (negative) consequences of an act of faith have the capacity to dissuade us. Jesus said, “Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” (John 12:24) If we want to live fruitful Christian lives, lives that magnify God, we must first die to self.

This isn’t a one-time dying, nor is it a dying that we do on our own. The Apostle Paul made this clear. His crucified life was only through the power of Christ and was rooted in who Christ was and what He had done for him. “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

Living faith that magnifies God and reveals His power is possible. But first, we must die.

How about you? Are you ready to die to self, desires, dreams, and comforts? Are you ready to know Him better? Are you willing to take risks? Will you commit to follow through? What step can you take today?

This post originally appeared on Medium.com

The post Living Faith: Why You Have To Die Before You Can Live appeared first on Rachel Miller Writer.

Seven Sources Of Hope When Walking By Faith is Scary

Post Theme: Sources of Hope

Last week, I wrote a story about Living Faith, including the importance of taking risks and following through — no matter what happens. But those moments between taking the risk and arriving at the goal can be downright scary.

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For the most part, our everyday culture is no longer based on tenacity, time investment, grit, and quality. Our culture is based on immediacy. We’re used to pushing buttons and getting results. We tend to steer clear of risks or commitments that require time and dedication. Following through on a risky step is hard. Maybe not in the little things, but in some instances — like when you’re dangling over the cliff you agreed to climb — it can be excruciating.

A few years ago, I spent time studying the life of George Muller. Mr. Muller is often praised, and rightly so, for his life of faith. He did not share the needs of his ministry with others. He trusted the Lord completely, and God always provided. We often look at his story and see page after page of victories, but one day I caught a glimpse of reality in his story.

In one of his journals, Mr. Muller mentioned the heaviness of heart, which he experienced during a time of waiting. That one brief sentence reveals he was just as human as the rest of us. In fact, he often emphasized this to others. His faith was nothing special. He too had to pass through the uncertain moments of walking by faith. His God, on the other hand, was in the miracle-performing, faith-strengthening business.

The realities that follow risk aren’t always exciting. Sometimes they are painful, often they are scary. Over the years, I’ve found a few things that have helped me keep going when walking by faith is scary. Maybe they will help you too:

1. Perspective.

The old “glass half empty or half full” argument affects a lot more than we realize. What we see as frightening circumstances is probably an opportunity for God to do something astonishing — something you would never see otherwise. Whether it feels like it or not, you may be on a great adventure. Keep your eyes on God’s unfailing power and faithfulness rather than on circumstances.

2. Don’t Dwell on Expectations.

Expectations get us in trouble. I tend to think of them as prisons, both for ourselves and for those from whom we expect something. Disappointed expectations often lead to resentment, even bitterness. We know the harmful effect resentment and unmet expectations have on our earthly relationships. No less harm is done to our relationship with God when we hold our thwarted expectations in His face.

Remember, God works all things together for good. (Romans 8:28) Your life may not look like what you expected, but the path of your expectations might have ended at a cliff. God has a purpose for our disappointments. As Job said, “But He knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

3. Don’t Get Distracted.

Our circumstances can be the biggest distraction both from what God is trying to do and what He is trying to teach us. When we get our focus off of Him and onto the problem we become useless.

4. Be Alert (and Thankful).

God is doing something, but you’ll never see it if you’re not watching. In the midst of the scary, step back, look for what God is doing, and take a moment to be thankful. (This also goes a long way toward helping maintain perspective!)

5. Cling to God’s Promises.

In the months following my dad’s unexpected death, I walked through situations, which literally left me speechless. The stress levels were so high that, for the first time in my life, I developed a stutter. During those months, a friend encouraged me to write another devotional journal. The journal I created focused on the promises of God. The process of compiling the list of promises for the book became a lifeline. Each day, I found new hope. Each verse gave me something to cling to until, at last, we’d come out on the other side of the storm.

6. Walk in Grace.

Grace is a such a small word. We imagine grace as a gentle working, but grace is powerful. Grace lifts the tired heart. Grace strengthens the weary soul. Grace gives us the grit to press on. Grace is there for the asking. Grace is rooted in surrender.

7. Remember Where You Are and Where You’re Going.

My dad passed away on a Thursday morning. That night, my reeling mind kept crying out, “This isn’t the way the story is supposed to end!” But I was wrong. That wasn’t the end. It wasn’t even the end of my dad’s story. His life continues to impact others.

My friend, this isn’t the end of your story. Wherever you are, whatever is happening, remember you cannot see from beginning to end. That’s why this journey is one of faith! God is not done yet. Keep walking.

I love hearing from you! What risk have you taken? Has it proven to be a little scary — or maybe a lot scary? How has God shown Himself faithful on your behalf? Please share in the comments below, and join me here for more conversation and my free eBook,The Danger of Distraction.

This post originally appeared on Medium.com

The post Seven Sources Of Hope When Walking By Faith is Scary appeared first on Rachel Miller Writer.

Living Selflessly in a Selfish World

Post Theme: Living Selflessly

“They can’t have his eyes!”

It was the most selfish thought I’d ever had. I knew it the moment I thought it, but I didn’t care. They couldn’t have his eyes.

Dad was gone. We stood in the hospital parking lot, faces still wet with tears, minds spinning, stomachs churning, hearts breaking, trying to manage the simple task of transferring items from one vehicle to another so we could all get to where we needed to be. As soon as Mom answered her cell phone, I knew what they wanted. My heart screamed, No! How could they ask such a thing? If it had been anything else, maybe. But not that. Not those eyes. Those beautiful, clear, loving eyes.

“But it might give someone sight!” you say. I know! And I knew it then, in my heart, but that scream — that scream was louder than my compassion.

My dad’s eyes were not suitable for transplant. The surgeries he’d had a year earlier determined the decision for everyone. But that night, my grief found a woeful companion in the memory of my selfishness. How could my heart be so stingy? Yes, it was crying out from a place of pain. Dangling from a cliff and feeling the request would cut the final thread. But still, it had chosen its own comfort over the well-being of another.

Image Source: Unsplash, Photo by Andrei Coman

We live in a selfish world. Facebook is about us. Twitter, Instagram, coffee with friends, church, work, and surely the sun, moon, and stars are all about us. According to Google research we humans take 93,000,000 selfies worldwide EVERY DAY. It’s estimated that females age 16–25 spend five hours a week taking, editing, and posting selfies. So what is going on around us while we’re looking into our cameras and the universe is orbiting planet Me?

The scream of self drowns out the voice of compassion. How would our world be different if we chose a little less of self?

On September 8th, 1860, the steamship Lady Elgin collided with another boat. As the steamship broke apart, a young college lifeguard volunteered to help with the rescue of its passengers and crew. Giving no thought of his own life, Edward Spencer dove into the frigid waters. Over the next six hours, he fought against the waves and the undertow that pulled many back into the waters of Lake Michigan. Onlookers begged him to stop as they saw him injured by floating debris. But he pressed on, pulling one passenger after another to safety. By the time he collapsed from exhaustion and exposure, he had saved seventeen lives.

Selflessness makes a difference.

We all want our story to be a great story, but have you ever read a book, in which the selfish guy was the hero? And if the hero was selfish, did he maintain his selfishness in that do-or-die decision at the climax? Not usually. Selfishness is generally the driving force behind the villain. The guy who’s willing to risk his life, his career, or his reputation to do what’s right, to put someone or something else first — that guy makes the difference.

So if we want to make a difference in the world, we have to change our focus. I’m learning that living selflessly in a selfish world isn’t easy. It takes work in at least these seven areas:

1. Put God First

As Christians, this should be a no-brainer, but we don’t always get it right. And when we don’t — when the universe is orbiting planet Me — selfishness drowns out His voice. Jesus said in Mark 12:30 that the first commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. When we love Him that much, there is little room left for self.

2. Esteem Others Better than Yourself

What would our world look like if we practiced this? Jesus said the second commandment is to love our neighbor as ourselves. If we poured as much love on our neighbor as we do on ourselves, how would our relationships, our journey through hardships, and our level of joy change?

God did not stop there. Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” We are to consider others as more important — higher ranking — than ourselves. How does that affect our phone call with the telemarketer, our interaction with the grumpy man at the grocery store, or the slow (possibly discouraged) clerk at the DMV? This second commandment has the power to change our entire culture, but it won’t work without the first commandment.

3. Lose Sight of Social Norms

Selfless living doesn’t come with a paycheck. In fact, it usually comes at a cost. Social norms may keep us from making choices that put others first. Our culture says, “Go. Go. Go.” Selfless living may require us to slow down and bandage a wounded heart or to set aside social media so we can focus on the person in front of us. It may require living below the economic level of our peers. Those social norms can be gone in an instant, but the investments we make in one another last.

4. Begin with Little Things

We don’t have to start with big, bold acts of heroism. Selfless living begins with small choices. The choice to let someone else go first in line, to listen rather than to speak, to stop what I’m doing to help someone else, to share little things, to show kindness, thoughtfulness, and generosity.

5. Practice

Living selflessly takes intentional practice. We have to get up in the morning and purpose, by God’s grace, to ask ourselves in every moment, “How do I honor God and others first in this situation?” Good habits take time to develop. Don’t give up if you fail. We all fail. Like me in that hospital parking lot.

6. Don’t Let it Become a Point of Pride

The moment selfless living becomes a point of pride, it ceases to be selfless. In this sense, selflessness is much like humility.

7. Don’t Do it for Reward

While the purpose of living selflessly isn’t personal gain, there are rewards: a smile, a thank you, a life changed, or simply the knowledge that we did the right thing. Look for those things and rejoice in them. But remember, we may not always see them.

Edward Spencer never heard a thank you from those he rescued. For the rest of his life, the thought plagued him, “Did I do my best?” We don’t always see the full picture nor the fruit of our choice to put someone else first. Sometimes it even seems they squander our sacrifice. But that makes it no less the right thing. Paul said, “…I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.” (1 Cor. 12:15) We’re not in it for reward. We’re in it because it’s right.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be the onlooker, urging the hero out of the water. The selfless life isn’t easy, but it makes a difference. Christ Himself set the example. He asks no more of us than He as already given.

How has someone’s selfless act made a difference in your life? How can you make a difference for others?

This post originally appeared on Medium.com

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Introducing Shadows of Chivalry

Shadows of Chivalry
Not Every Knight Is What He Seems “Just one man. That’s all we’re asking for—just one good man.”

Will Kelly lose heart in the face of betrayal or cling to the hope that someone will step out of the shadows and into a life of courageous faith?

Best friends Kelly and Kali have worked passionately at the Trevor Street Crisis Center for years. But when the center faces staggering loss, they are left to pick up the pieces alone. In a crisis of heartache and need, even those who proclaim themselves valiant seem to hide scorn and opportunism beneath the cloak of chivalry. Is true chivalry dead?

Matt, a big-hearted businessman, finds joy in anonymously meeting the needs around him. But when Kelly steps onto his bus, the story of the crisis center shakes his world. As the girls struggle to keep the center alive, Matt must choose between anonymity, the security he has known, and helping his new friends. Will he be their knight in shining armor, or will his chivalry be just another shadow?

Straight from the trenches of ministry, comes a story of courage, perseverance, and faith. 

Not every knight is what he seems.

Why Shadows of Chivalry – Why chivalry at all?

If chivalry dies, the world loses. In a world of heartache and need, when many would choose opportunism, betrayal, and scorn, we can choose a more excellent way. Shadows of Chivalry lays out these opposing paths in stark contrast. As the Trevor Street Crisis Center faces its own crisis, some men will don the cloak of chivalry to later reveal it was but a shadow. Only a brave few will lay aside self and ambition, walk in compassion, embrace the courage found in doing the right thing, and act in chivalry.

This contemporary Christian novel will:

Visualize a life of courageous faith, chivalry, and intentionality,Weave together true-to-ministry-life scenarios and the scriptural principles that allow us to navigate them in a more excellent way,Provide a heart journey that transforms the characters from ready and willing soldier to knight in shining armor—inspiring, challenging, and opening the door to a whole new life.

Shadows of Chivalry will

Encourage you that anyone—including you—can live a chivalrous life,Demonstrate how love looks like the life Christ lived,Reveal the power of doing the right thing as well as the power of doing the thing in front of you,Allow you to go beyond the story and into a deeper, practical understanding of chivalry and the lessons of Shadows of Chivalry through the Leaving the Shadows companion Study.What people are saying about Shadows of Chivalry:

“I’m not one to re-read a book, but when I got to the end [of my beta copy] I found myself asking myself if I wanted to return it or if I should read it again before giving it back!” — Mary – Shadows of Chivalry Beta Reader/Retailer

“Very good read! Can’t wait for the next book! I really enjoyed this story, and Rachel Miller told a riveting every day story that keeps you wanting to know her characters more. I am waiting and hoping for the next installment soon so that I can get to know these characters even deeper!” – Stacy – Reader

“An appropriate story for our times. I love this book by Rachel Miller! It almost feels like you start in the middle of the story when the director of the Trevor Street Crisis Center dies unexpectedly. As I got to know each of the characters, I understood their struggles and frustrations and heartaches. Yet, through all the heartache, God’s love shines through in the lives of the very special people He leads to the Crisis Center. Miss Miller manages to weave a fictional story of what feels like a very real situation. Her characters have a depth that makes them feel like real people. The story is compelling enough to keep me reading. (I’ve read it more than once!) I definitely recommend this book!” – Anna Huckabee – Author of the Love in Times Series.

“Great story with balance and hope. This was my first book by this author but won’t be the last. Much drama but also excellent practical guidance to properly deal with it . An example and challenge to everyone.” – Becky – Reader

The post Introducing Shadows of Chivalry appeared first on Rachel Miller Writer.

Is there Something More?

Is there Something More – Arena of Risk Blog Series, Blog 1

All of us have asked ourselves this question at some point or another: Is there something more? Am I missing something? This is the key question Jordan Penny is asking himself at the start of my new book, Arena of Risk. He knows there’s a change coming in his life. He knows there’s a change coming in his family. But he senses that, with that change, God isn’t wanting him to invest the time that’s freed up into his business. Rather, God has a deeper purpose for him to carry out.

In this season, as he gathers with his friends on a camping trip, Jordan first hears the concept of the arena of risk. As a realtor and house-flipping contractor, risk has been part of Jordan’s business life for as long as he can remember. But he’s never considered that risk might need to be part of his walk of faith. At this point, however, he still doesn’t know what that risk might be. And so, his friends give him a starting point: Be ready.

Readiness for Something More

As the children of Israel were leaving Egypt and as they went through the wilderness, God lead them by the pillar of fire and cloud. They didn’t know when that cloud was going to start moving. So, they had to be ready. They couldn’t leave their belongings strewn all over the camp. They couldn’t collect rocks along the way. All of that would slow them down. They had to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice, and our walk of faith is no different.

Readiness begins with a moment of surrender. Such moments took place in the lives of Samuel and Isaiah. For Isaiah the moment came when God asked the question, “Whom can I send”? Isaiah’s answer is wrapped up in six simple words, “Here I am, Lord, send me.” For Samuel that moment came as he lay in bed. Thinking Eli was calling him, he went to his master time after time. Finally, the old man said, “When the Lord calls you, say to him, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant heareth.” When God calls, when He starts to whisper to our hearts, the first step of readiness—long before we know the steps of action—is a simple, “Here I am.”

Commitment

In Arena of Risk, Matt tells Jordan that movement starts with a commitment. The commitment is not to a specific task or course of action. The commitment is simply to say, “Lord, whatever you have for me, I will do it.” This sounds scary because “whatever” covers a lot of ground. That’s why Matt goes on to tell Jordan that not only do you commit to the “whatever” but you commit to whatever comes with it.

It’s a bit like the commitment to go into the army. Once you’ve enlisted, you know that you have to go. You’ve made the choice that you’re going to go. You know there are risks. You know that you don’t know what those exact risks will be. You don’t know what your officers will command you to do, but you do know that when they command you to do it, you must do it. There’s no option. There’s no choice. You already made the choice the day you enlisted. So, when the command comes, you’ve already committed yourself to it. You’ve already died. Risk or not, you’re ready to move forward.

Waiting for Something More

The proverbial pillar of cloud doesn’t start moving as soon as we take this step of surrender and make this commitment. We don’t always know what that “something more” is the next morning when we wake up. In fact, there is usually a time of waiting. If you’re like me, waiting can be hard. I like to get up and go, to be moving forward. But sometimes God wants us to wait because he’s doing something that we can’t see. If we rush ahead, we’ll only cause the task He has given us to be that much more difficult. So what do we do in those times of waiting?

Worship

Waiting is a wonderful time for worship. Waiting periods tends to be slower and can often be a time of less distraction. What better time to focus on who God is, on praising Him, and deepening our relationship with Him?

One of the greatest lessons I ever learned from the believers in the Russian churches I attended was that of truly magnifying God in prayer. I wish every believer could attend a service in which saints who have walked with the Lord and suffered persecution lift their voices in praise, glorifying God for who He is. Before entering that culture, I had never heard the attributes of God spoken back to Him so fervently and consistently. In your time of waiting, stop and learn more of who He is. Repeat it back to Him. Praise Him for it. Worship Him. Honor Him. Adore Him in song, word, and action.

I recently found a note in a journal that says, “Has God captivated you in such a way that it elicits such a response in others?” The more we spend time in worship and the more we spend time coming to know who God is, the more we will be captivated by Him and the more the world around us will see his glory in and through us. This, my friends, is a wonderful way to spend our waiting.

Growing

Many years ago, I was on one of the highest mountain peaks in my home state, Montana. As I looked around me, I noticed there wasn’t a lot growing. It was basically tundra. We were above the tree line, so all that covered the ground were a few alpine flowers and several types of curly grass, growing close to the earth in a near perpetual state of frostiness. I started thinking about mountaintop experiences. You know, the thing we’re always looking for—the next big event in our life, the next great accomplishment. I realized that while the mountaintop is beautiful and you can see forever, not much grows there. But in the valley you find lush grasses, giant trees, thick underbrush, mosses, mushrooms, and flowers galore. It’s in the valleys—in-between the mountains—where things grow. 

Our lives are much the same. Our waiting, between the mountaintops, can be both a time for worship and a time for growth. Those valley lands can be cultivated, the soil turned, the seed sown, the plants watered, the fruit gathered. So in the waiting, be sure you’re growing.

Walking

I’ve rarely met a child who can sit still for long. Waiting is excruciating when you’re five. But are we really any better as adults? Don’t we want to be moving? The truth is, waiting doesn’t always mean we have to sit. It’s often said that a ship in motion is easier to steer than one that is still. Our time of waiting can also be a time of walking in the way God has already led us. Rather than stopping and standing still, we can keep pressing on in faithfulness. Then, when we know what is next, we’re already on the move.

Preparing to Run

I love the verse in Habakkuk that says “write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he my run that readeth it.” (Hab. 2:2) It’s so important that when God’s instructions finally come, we are able to understand them clearly, step out, and start running. If we have been walking, then breaking into that run is so much easier. 

But we can’t do it if we’re burdened down by a backpack full of rocks. This is what Paul was talking about when he told Timothy not to be encumbered by the things of this world. So, as we’re in our time of waiting, we can be eliminating from life those things that will hold us back when it’s time to run. It might be the sins that so easily beset us. Or maybe it’s the things—actual things—that could get in our way. Only you can discern what those things are as you sit down and talk with God about it.

Are you sensing that God is calling you to something more, or perhaps simply something different? Start with the commitment to follow through, whatever it is, and then, while you wait—prepare yourself to run.

The post Is there Something More? appeared first on Rachel Miller Writer.

Chivalry at its Core

Post Theme: Chivalry at its Core

I recently heard the story of Lynn Marchessault and Canadian Ranger, Gary Bath. Lynn and her children were traveling from Georgia across Canada to North Pole, Alaska where her husband was returning from deployment with the U.S. Army. In British Columbia, the family experienced tire failure and were stranded. Not only this, but Lynn had never driven on snow before and a terrible storm was blowing. 

Gary heard about the situation through Facebook posts. He saw that many people were offering them money, or wishing they could help the family get to the border. But Gary realized the family needed someone to drive them. So he talked to his wife and made the decision to drive the family more than 1600 km (nearly a thousand miles) to the border. When asked in an interview if this was just part of his job, he explained that helping people is part of being a ranger—but really, it was just the right thing to do.

Chivalry at is Core

Gary’s actions demonstrate chivalry at its core. Gary exercised each of the four major components of chivalry—Vision, Compassion, Courage, and Commitment. He saw there was a need. It moved him to compassion. Then he acted courageously based on this core commitment to do the right thing. 

Without the commitment to doing the right thing, fear and convenience win. With this commitment, however, we are already in a position to rise to the occasion. This in itself helps equip us to make chivalry a way of life.

Gary went above and beyond what would generally be consider necessary. Most of us won’t be called on to drive a thousand miles to help a stranger, but how might our impact on the lives around us change if this principle was actively and intentionally applied to our daily life?

Mr. Marsh, one my favorite characters in Shadows of Chivalry, demonstrates this sort of chivalry in a similar situation when he learns that Micah is having trouble getting back to town to take care of his brother’s estate. He is a perfect example of how God can use ready and willing saints to answer the prayers of His children. You can read that excerpt from Shadows of Chivalry here.

We could all use a little extra dose of chivalry!

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Chivalry’s Mistaken Identity

Post Theme: Chivalry’s Mistaken Identity

Many years ago, I was sitting on my carry-on bag in the shopping concourse of the Frankfurt airport, when I noticed a young woman handing out perfume samples nearby. Occasionally, she glanced in my direction and smiled. Finally, she left her post and came to where I was sitting. She held out a strip of scented paper and said something to me in German. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t speak German.”

A look of surprise and then embarrassment crossed her face. Then she said, “I’m sorry. I thought you were German.”

Does Chivalry have a Doppelgänger?

All of us have experienced some form of mistaken identity at some point, and chivalry is no exception. Usually when I mention chivalry, people think of etiquette and dating. Men opening the door for women. People not slurping their soup. Speaking politely to one another. This is both courtly and chivalrous behavior, but it barely scratches the surface of what chivalry truly is. If you look a little deeper, you’ll find there is much more to it. You’ll also find it is desperately needed in our world today. 

This is why I wrote my novel, Shadows of Chivalry , and why I believe in its message so strongly. Chivalry isn’t just a set of manners. It is a way of life built on the commitment to do what is right. For the Christian, that means doing what is right not in our eyes but in God’s. It is a commitment to fight the fight, keep the faith, and finish the course.

Discovering Chivalry’s Identity

As Shadows of Chivalry unfolds, this becomes evident to its characters, especially Matt. At the beginning of the story, he is ready and willing to help others. In fact, he has already been helping in secret for quite some time. But, as he goes deeper into the situation and into Sam’s story, he realizes something is missing in his life. The days that follow take him on a heart journey from ready and willing soldier to prepared knight. What is the difference between the two? Training.

Wait. What? Isn’t a knight valiant, courageous, and daring? Yes, but it isn’t a given that those things come naturally. Doesn’t the average soldier receive training? Yes, but the key word there is average. The knight’s training went much deeper, often starting from when he was a young child. He would have worked with specialists of his trade—master swordsmen, masters at the art of battle strategy, and instructors in the way of chivalry. Which is why I’ve written a companion study to Shadows of Chivalry (check it out here) because I believe we need men and women of chivalry and courage today.

For Matt, the new training was minimal. As Kelly said, he already had what it takes to be a knight, Sam and Moses just polished his armor a little. His training began with his parents who taught him to see needs and meet them. The lessons he learned as he delved further into the history and situations of the crisis center elevated the commitment behind that training to a new level—A level that understood that love looks like the life Christ led and laid down. He came to see that what was missing in his life was chivalry.

Often, we limit chivalry to the medieval world, to the world of dating and romance, and even to the world of men. But it goes well beyond that and touches the most vulnerable people with mercy, grace, and valor. And the amazing thing about chivalry? Anyone can live with chivalry—including you!

Read Shadows of Chivalry Today!

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