Liz Everly's Blog, page 86

Far From The Madding Crowd: Alone Time with Mr. Oat

Mr. Oat, if Carey Mulligan doesn’t get it, she’s an idiot.

by Madeline Iva

Here’s my blurb for the movie: Determined young heiress can’t appreciate gentle jewel of a man who’s right under her nose until life beats the stuffing out of her.

Which sounds annoying, doesn’t it? But there’s much to appreciate and much to find annoying together in this movie. I bet you’ll love it — I bet you’ll go see it and think I’m being too picky. But let me snark away for a moment.

First of all, this film is definitely NOT a romance—Though our heroine is aspirational, though three men clearly want her, she says she’s not looking for love.  And I believed her.  Because it would be really annoying, wouldn’t it–if she were looking for love after being soooooo sure she wasn’t? Right.  I actually liked her best when she wasn’t dealing with the men.

Beset by suitors she doesn’t want, poor thing, and having stated that SO clearly, the movie does nothing after that but shine a spotlight on her dance with these three suitors as they get knocked off her dance card one by one.  It’s one of those period films where perhaps more than once the heroine is forced to smack her own forehead with her fist and say “Oh, I’ve been a terrible fool!” while we in the audience roll our eyes, and silently responding: “Ya think?”

But it’s a feminist story overall.  If by feminist stories you mean a story in which the heroine is not held back by anything except her own idiocy.  Yes, that’s what the film is saying: for women to progress, eventually when all else is even-steven, they’re going to have to make sure not to be ass-hats, like men are.

The costumes! The acting! The baby lamb!

Perhaps that is an odd feminist statement.  But since the book the movie is based upon was written by a guy, maybe it’s not so surprising? I know that Thomas Hardy (No, not *that* Tom Hardy) cared about the plight of women in his time, so bonus points to him. He cared deeply about the perfect union of souls and equality.  But a part of him couldn’t quite see the HEA coming so soon.  So first of all, he saddles his heroine with the name Bathsheba (yes that’s her name, and the only thing odder than her name and having no reason for it, is hearing it pronounced with a British accent.) Then he saddles her with the perfect guy right in front of her when she’s young and full of beans and really isn’t ready for the perfect guy just yet.

Meanwhile, I have to say, I don’t blame her for turning down his proposal right off the bat.  You see, it’s all the film-maker’s fault.  They meet.  Next scene: he brings her a lamb.  She’s delighted.

Then, as she’s kissing little lamb-y’s head, he proposes.

What? In the audience we’re like HEY! They *just* met not three seconds ago in film time. They haven’t even had a proper conversation yet–and he’s proposing?  Did it really go down like that back then? Hmmmm.

Yet looking at Mr. Oat, one still is thinking Carey Mulligan/Bathsheba might have done well to say, “You’re really hot, Mr. Oat.  I’m listening.  Tell me more,” instead of a flat rejection.

It’s a visual FEAST! Photo by REX_Shutterstock (4271160a)

The film keeps on in this insta-proposal vein.  I realized that they didn’t cut out parts of the movie–they couldn’t.  Instead they try to telescope time.  But it’s only so successful.  Sure two men we’re seeing together can meet and one talks to the other like they’ve known each other for years.  But at the same time, someone in the film is going to have a baby, and hasn’t yet, and so that means that at the MOST these men have known each other for say four months.  I tell ya, it’s a little strange.

At any rate–Bathesheba rejects suitor number one.  Good for her we think.  Then she rejects suitor number two.  Okay, he was pretty awesome in his own way too, being Michael Sheen and all, but he’s a little older, so whatever.  But as time goes on, we realize that she’s got suitor number one under her nose. He’s not wealthy, but he’s Hawt, gentle, there to support her, there to offer protection if needed, and let her fight her own battles if not.  He wants to be–in the truest sense of the word–her partner.  Meanwhile–talk about your unconditional love! He doesn’t ask for anything back from her.

So of course she goes for someone else entirely – “Oh! I’ve been *such* a fool!”  That’s me, thinking about how I could have seen another film instead.

Warning: this film has more golden, honey dipped light than any visual feast you’ve seen. Ever.

This is where I wonder if Thomas Hardy wasn’t so enlightened after all.  He shows his heroine falling for the oldest trick in the book.  Give some know-it-all woman a little flattery, a little smexy from a redcoat, Hardy says, and in her virginial state she’ll be so overwhelmed by his sexual charisma and animal urges she’ll drop to the ground and spread her legs.  Hmmmm. But after she tumbles into bed with Mr. Soldier guy, we know what that means.  This is 1870, so it means they hafta marry–and quickly.

It has ‘stupid move’ written all over it.  We know it, she knows it, everyone knows it.

But the film was SO beautiful–Talk about your visual feast. The landscape! The lamb!  The relentless gold-y light.  Her “farm”!OMG.  It was to die. Okay, it looked more like a rich person’s house with farm options included, but I’d buy that place in a heartbeat if I had some mad money.

Also the costumes were delectable and Carey Mulligan looked swoony in them.  I was happy every time she walked away from the camera. The long wasp waist light summer dresses and their rucked up, pleated trains were divine.  The best thing this movie had going on, IMO, was showing how democratic we can be with our costume dramas.  It wasn’t a film about the rich people, exactly, but the costumes were layered and interestingly textured all the same–right down to the little tips of men’s shirts, slightly wrinkled, and reeking of period detail.

Helllllllllo Matthais Schoenaerts!

Yet there’s really only one reason to see the movie, ladies, and that reason is Mr. Oat.  He was awesome! Played by Matthais Schoenaerts, this Belgian actor–he was the whole reason I didn’t regret the loss of two hours from my life while watching this film. He embodied all those great qualities we want in a man–(gentle, etc, see above) with no alpha bullshit–and yet he never seemed weak or unappealing.

The other excellent acting job was done by Michael Sheen. I’ve talked about him before, HERE.  In this movie, he’s just so good. He played the role perfectly, building maximal sympathy and bringing the crazy all together in a nice neat, oscar-worthy way.

Sniff-sniff. Is that an Oscar I smell, Michael?

As I said, this wasn’t a period film about aristocrats –it was about farmers, some wealthy, some poor, but it still had a luxurious, sensuous feel.  It made you want to put on an apron and go roll around in a hay field somewhere.  Preferably with a baby lamb.  Or Mr. Oat.  Or Michael Sheen.  Or both together.

On the other hand, if you’ve had enough of summer movies, and you’re looking for the book version of a roll in the hay–there’s still a wee bit of time to enter our Goodreads giveaway here:

Goodreads Book Giveaway


The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires
by Liz Everly





And follow us at Lady Smut — where we sow our Oats as much as we can. ; >

To Love, Honor, And Have Sex With Others

By Elizabeth Shore

There are lots of dating websites out there that help you hook up. Fill out your profile, slap up a picture, and you can start trolling around for potential mates, or just potential FWBs. But a new dating website puts a different spin on the online hook-up scene. OpenMinded.com offers, in their words, “a safe and stigma-free environment that brings the ease and flexibility of online dating to the currently under-served world of open and alternative relationships.” Another way to look at it: If you want an open marriage, this site’s for you.

In traditional romance novels (meaning just h/h, not ménage or group), there’s little mention of the relationship growing stale. Instead we see lines such as: After 30 years, passion between them still smoldered. If there is mention of marital moldiness, it gets patched up and by the end of the book all’s well. But the reality is that in long-term relationships, it’s tough keeping it fresh.  Some scientists even say that we’re not by nature monogomous beings and that insistence on it means we’re fighting our true selves. Reality, they would argue, is different from most folks’ romantic ideals. Be that as it may, the idea of our committed partner having sex with someone else doesn’t sit well in western society minds. Cheaters are on par with lepers. But what if you’re not, technically, cheating? What if you and your partner have decided to give an open marriage a go?

Sex advice, relationship-columnist, and author Dan Savage has a lot to say on the topic. Savage can be provocative when he says that infidelity might save a relationship, but before deciding he’s nothing more than an affront to the institute of marriage, check out what he has to say.

For starters, Savage is for the most part an advocate of monogamy. He acknowledges the benefits and says it’s right for many couples. Yet with monogomy come drawbacks, such as “boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death, and being taken for granted.” To combat this, he says, we have to be honest about our needs and whether or not they’re being met. Couples must decide what being monogomous means for them. “There’s not a one-size-fits-all approach,” Savage insists. What any relationship has to have is openness and honesty. If you’re considering an open marriage or open relationship, talk about what that looks like. Do you tell your partner about what you’re doing, or do you advocate for a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach when you or your partner are getting some on the side. Are there boundaries? For example, can you do some things, such as oral sex, but not others, such as intercourse?

Ideas like this are in direct opposition to how most western sociey couples have come to view monogamy. All this talk of open marriage is nonsense, many would think. If there are troubles, you just need to work through them. But it’s this kind of viewpoint that itself, according to Savage, will lead to problems. The strict definition of monogamy can mean that someone’s needs aren’t going to get met and eventually it’ll lead to cheating. “Some people need more than one partner,” Savage writes, “just as some people need flirting, others need to be whipped, others need lovers of both sexes. We can’t help our urges, and we should not lie to our partners about them.”

Although not sure whether I’m totally down with Savage, I think he brings up interesting points and has clearly thought a lot about the topic. It’s certainly a shift in thinking to decide to be OK with your partner having sex with someone else. I’d like to see someone tackle that in a romance novel. I know it’s handled in “women’s fiction,” but I haven’t seen an open marriage couple in traditional h/h romances. Would it sell, or would it be scorned? What do you think?

To have an open marriage, or not to have an open marriage. Interesting question indeed. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. And don’t forget to enter our Lady Smut Dark Desires giveaway.

 

Duran Duran Returns!

Photo credit: Stephanie Pistel

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in ecstasy. Duran Duran announced on Twitter that they will have a new album and tour starting this month in Spain, eventually meandering across the US and then finishing up in Britain. While my tastes veer more toward punk than the New Romantics, I was there at the start of MTV’s influential run, so I have a soft spot for the Double D boys, largely because their Russell Mulcahey videos were a lot of fun and usually pretty sexy, too.

Who can forget the overheated theatrics of ‘Hungry Like The Wolf’? I know ‘This is Planet Earth’ was before that but honestly, it was just a bit too silly and too far on the lace and ruffles side of the New Romantic playbook. HLTW really took advantage of the Sri Lankan setting and a vaguely Raiders of the Lost Ark vibe as well as the new network’s desire to break in new music: according to an article Wikipedia links to, they played it four times a day! Repetition works.

 

But it was more than that: there’s a little bit of everything in the song:

The lyrics were inspired by Little Red Riding Hood,[3] and the repeating of the word “do” at the end of each verse takes its melody from the instrumentals in Gordon Lightfoot‘s song “If You Could Read My Mind“.[6] Andy Taylor worked out a Marc Bolan-ish guitar part, a very Marshall-sounding Les Paul guitar lick that was added to the track. Then the bass and drums were added, and the whole track was finished that day, including Le Bon’s vocal melody and lyrics.[3] The laugh at the beginning of the song and the screams during the song’s fade-out were performed and recorded live by Rhodes’ girlfriend at the time.[7]

The visuals are the most effective part especially in the new music channel: like the best music videos, it offered a tantalizing glimpse into another world. Le Bon’s Indiana Jones-like character really wanted that vaguely cat-like woman (played by model Sheila Ming) very badly. It all seemed so new and wild back then. It also set the bar high for music videos — at least for a time. Simple performance videos weren’t enough: it was time for high concept.

For Duran Duran the ultimate in that regard might have been the William Burroughs-influenced ‘Wild Boys’ and Mulcahey’s million-dollar video, an unheard of amount at that time which shows you just how far things had gone. Mulcahey wanted to film the whole of Burroughs’ novel as a feature length film but found few to support the idea. The band appeared in costumes and scenery reminiscent of  the second Mad Max film but the video got curtailed for a shorter radio edit of the song.

 

What bands do you want to see tour again? Who would get your teenage heart beating again? Or do you fear disappointment in finding the wild boys of your youth have become middle-aged?

Follow Lady Smut: we never age! And we’re giving away a copy of our Dark Desires.

Serving Pleasure by Alisha Rai

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

Several years ago, I read Alisha Rai’s first novel, Glutton for Pleasure, which was, I believe, my first menage erotic romance. It is a sexy, sweet morsel featuring a delightfully plump chef heroine named Devi with a lovely theme of learning to appreciate her own value sexually and claim some agency within her overwhelming family as she falls in love with two men.

It’s long-awaited sequel, Serving Pleasure, is in a whole ‘nother weight class.

First, a blurb:

Rana Malik is over being her family’s resident black sheep. She’s on a mission: ditch the casual hook-ups, revamp her bad-girl image, and fall in love with a proper Mr. Right even her conservative mama can’t find fault with. Not on the menu? The beautiful, brooding Mr. Right Now who lives next door, and all the ways he whets her appetite.

Artist Micah Hale had it all—women, success, friends and family—until his world changed in a single act of senseless violence. Now struggling to conceal his scars and get his life and career back on track, he knows he has nothing to offer a woman except his body. He’s not looking for love… but he can’t control his craving for the sexy bombshell voyeur he’s caught looking at him.

Their attraction boils over and their defenses are stripped off along with their clothes. They promise they’ll walk away if it gets too hot. But it’s hard to the right thing…when being wrong feels so good.

When Rana saw her youngest sister, Devi, find love and happiness with her pair of lovers, she decided to put aside her black sheep status and become New Rana by reining in her wild impulsive nature and actively searching for her own Mister Right. She’s been no-sex for a year while using a dating site to go on sensible dates with “appropriate” men (scenes enlivened by the knowledge that Ms. Rai herself signed up and dated off of a match-making site as research for this story.) That’s until Rana starts to spy on her new neighbor, brooding artist Micah Hale, while he paints with furious abandon, then destroys the unsatisfying canvas with an Exacto knife, and finally decides to relieve his frustration with some hawt, if ultimately unsatisfying, self-love.

Now *that’s*a meet cute.

Click on the image to buy!

Ex-pat Brit, Micah, is nursing his own wounds from a brutal attack two years ago that nearly killed him. Overall, he feels less. Less of a man. Less of an artist. Often, less than a man. Once a first-class player, now he can barely stand the socialization required for his first U.S. showing. He notices Rana’s late-night peeping right away and has a visceral response to her that is stronger than anything he’s felt since his attack. She also ignites his creativity and leaves him itching to paint. He deliberately puts on a show for her and later, when he catches her stalking him, taunts her into having an affair, no strings attached, with a shared agreement not to fall in love with each other.

Oh and he gets to paint her. Naked.

This was all his fault. All of it. Rana might have pined over him a bit, but she’d been moving on. The memories of their night together would have faded eventually. Then this beautiful asshole had come waltzing back into her life, offering her the sweetest of things, the things she craved. Lust. Excitement. Desire. Attention. She could have them. Extend their affair. Get everything she needed from him. Because, God, she needed. And then she would walk away. There was no other choice.

Rana’s trying to bridle her passions and be more worthy of a love for which she doesn’t entirely believe herself to be worthy, especially given some of the questionable things she’s done in her past. She also struggles to feel valued by her sisters as a professional equal as they expand their shared business. She tired of being valued only for her good looks, using them and her considerable charm to wait tables and manage staff while Devi spins genius cuisine in the kitchen and middle sister Leena bends her sharp mind to their restaurant’s financial needs. But Rana can’t get her sisters to see past their established molds. And though she’s secure in her sexuality, for years she’s taken verbal abuse and constant shaming from her mother that has torn away at her self-worth.

Micah changes all that.

Confidence made her shoulders straighten. Prettiness might be all she had going for her, but Micah didn’t make her feel pretty . He made her feel like a goddess. Like he was starving in a desert and she was the only thing that could save him.

Following his attack, Micah is practically a recluse. Everything about him is different; even the way he paints and the pictures he creates are something new and not, to his mind, better. Rana is the first risk he’s taken, the first woman he’s itched to paint, the first woman to drive him rabid with desire. After two years of celibacy, his physical need is fierce and exciting because his emotional need is wildly out-of-control and deeply unfulfilled until he meets Rana.

His fingers curled against the glass. He wanted to march over to her home right now and kidnap her, bring her back to his lair. Not so he could torture both of them for a couple of hours while he sketched her, but so he could get right to what he needed from her. It wasn’t sex, though he worshiped her for giving it to him. He wanted to hold her close while the afternoon sun rolled over their bodies. He wanted to nuzzle his face against her neck in the hope he might actually sleep a whole night through. When they climaxed, it was the only time in recent memory he could remember feeling at peace.

Alisha Rai writes some of the best diverse, feminist, erotic romance out there today, a fact also on display in her novel A Gentleman in the Street. Her heroines ooze agency and revel in their sexuality; her heroes are complex and often surprisingly against stereotype. Her books are gutsy and original with sizzling, emotion-filled sex that will leave you buzzing for days.

With every stroke that conjures Rana and Micah’s depths and their significant emotional stakes, Ms. Rai brings these fully-fleshed, complicated people to life through words that are polished and witty, engrossing and poignant. At times funny with a touch of screwball comedy, Serving Pleasure explores the themes of family expectations and failures and the struggle of trauma recovery with grace and care through pages of sensual pleasure threaded with tender scenes of self discovery and forgiveness.

Be sure to come back next Monday when we’ll chat with Alisha Rai about Serving Pleasure, writing purpose-filled sex, and the enticement of a man’s well-sculpted forearms.

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Make the Swirl Go Round for Loving Day

Just a sweet little world-changing love thing.

By Alexa Day

This past Friday, June 12, was Loving Day, a celebration of the Supreme Court’s decision in Loving v. Virginia, which invalidated laws against interracial marriage in the United States. Don’t worry if you missed it; lots of us swirl enthusiasts will be celebrating all month. So you still have two weeks to wave the flag for interracial romance and marriage equality! Let’s start with a fun fact.

There’s a popular misconception that interracial marriage was illegal everywhere in the United States before Loving was decided in 1967. That isn’t true. The Lovings were married very legally in Washington, D.C., in the 1950s. Interracial marriage was, however, illegal in Virginia at the time, and when the Lovings returned home, they attracted the attention of law enforcement. The Loving decision struck down the anti-miscegenation laws still in effect in 1967, but by that time, interracial marriage was already legal in several states.

Jeff Nichols is set to direct a new Loving movie, starring Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga. I’m going to try to keep an open mind about Joel and Ruth. I really will. But look at Grey Villet’s photos, which accompanied a Life magazine feature on the Lovings. (Especially that kiss up top. That’s a home-from-work kiss done right.) Then watch this trailer for The Loving Story, an HBO documentary from 2011. Maybe Jeff Nichols can reproduce that chemistry in the new movie. Maybe.

Fired up? Good. Let’s hit up some links.

Because I am very comfortable with my own horn, I’ll get mine out of the way first. I wrote about swirling throughout TV history, interracial historicals, and Harlequin’s interracial issues. I’ve also got two interracial romances out right now and more to come.

Facebook introduced me to Writing with Color on tumblr. My favorite post right now deals with describing skin color for characters of color — I absolutely love the way it uses natural descriptors like copper and bronze along with pictures to really demonstrate what those colors are. I also dig the fact that the post includes descriptors for all characters, both white and non-white. I couldn’t wait to use this advice in my last story, and I had a great time figuring out whether my heroine’s skin was mahogany or bronze (it’s actually closer to sepia). It takes time to make these descriptions precise, sure. But that’s a good thing. Hang out on Writing with Color for more smart ways to build these sensory and cultural details into your work.

I wish I had a dime for every time I heard someone say they couldn’t find good reads featuring authors and characters of color. “Gosh! We’d sure like to review more, but we just can’t find any at all! So we don’t!” Ever heard that? If you’re looking, too, try Romance Novels in Color, a newsletter featuring books with at least one protagonist of color. You’ll find enough reviews and blog posts, including lots of interracial and multicultural romances, to keep you occupied until next Loving Day. Not sure where to start? Check out the list of free reads and get to sampling.

If you’re still looking, head back over to tumblr for WOC in Romance. I love the blend of content for authors and readers, and you might find some new authors and titles to explore. These folks post regularly about new releases, including interracial and multicultural romances, so be on the lookout for those. I’m also very into the genre-specific lists; I found two sets of titles for paranormal romances featuring heroines of color.

All set for Loving Month? Well, not quite.

Get your history itch scratched here with People of Color in European Art History. Lots of inspiration for interracial historicals there, and evidence that the interracial lurve all over the world has been around a lot longer than the last fifty years.

June is also LGBT Pride Month, so why not enjoy HuffPo’s 60+ photos from same-sex weddings? Love is all about infinite diversity, and who doesn’t love a nice set of wedding photos? (Seriously, I am hoping to be as giddy as that second photo if I’m fated for marriage.) Maybe the next generation will call June Marriage Equality Month. Maybe our generation will.

And finally, enjoy these photos from real Loving Day weddings.

Don’t forget to mix it up by following Lady Smut.

“That’s all you have? I am not impressed”: Erotic Humiliation 101

By Isabelle Drake

Erotic humiliation can take many forms; verbal, such as scolding or name calling; animal play, making the submission eat or drink from pet bowls; erotic objectification, requiring the submissive is used as furniture, or  any form of sexual embarrassment. Obviously, the spectrum is vast but the basics are pretty simple: it’s any time a consensual person is turned on by being demeaned or demeaning others.

Typically the person being humiliated is in a submissive role, the person administering the scolding or other embarrassment is dominant. However, it is important to note that note all BDSM relationships have humiliation as an element and those that do are likely to consider it edgeplay and thus use a safeword and extensive advance negotiations.

The range of possibilities for humiliation is as vast as the possibilities so the key to successful humiliation is to know what a specific individual finds offensive. Practitioners of erotic humiliation emphasize the that a high level of trust and communication will enhance the overall experience. Those who are being humiliated seek pain, not injury, and so the person administering the humiliation must be both skilled and attuned to the submissive’s individual needs. For example, a person being forced to call another ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’ may find that objectionable, and thus humiliating, while another may not. A person who enjoys ponyplay will most likely not be humiliated by being told to trot around a room while others watch.

The theories that seek to explain why erotic humiliation works focus on the physiological and emotional responses to humiliation. The area of the brain that responds to emotional pain, including humiliation, is the same as the one that responds to physical pain. Thus, humiliation is a very strong emotional trigger. That emotional trigger requires a significant amount of mental manipulation as the person being humiliated finds a way to “deal with it.” One method of “dealing with it,” or managing the emotional pain, is to disassociate, to set aside ones normal identity. This break from identity leads to a temporary loss of self-awareness, loss of focus on oneself as seen by others and ultimately relaxation. This combination naturally enhances sexual pleasure. And so, when a person is humiliated to the point of loss of self-awareness, and physical pleasure is introduced, the likelihood of ultimate sexual release and satisfaction is achieved.

Recent research emphasizes that those who participate in masochism are “normal” and that the practice may be a response to the “overgrown selfhood of modern Western society.” That is, humiliation play is a healthy and productive way to deal with everyday stress because it allows the person being humiliated to set everyday identity and experience sexual pleasure in a pure form.

Like to see some of this in action? The French film Belle de Jour is an erotic humiliation classic. The main character, a doctor’s wife, feels disconnected from her husband and seeks relief from her emotional pain. She begins a double life: call girl by day, proper Parisian housewife by night.

The film, starring Catherine Deneuve is a visual feast. The trailer gives you a taste. The whole thing is worth hunting down. I suggest watching it twice. The first time for the story, the second to catch the subtle things you missed the first time.

Guys, want to be talked down to by some hot ladies?

Try: Humiliatrix

Ladies, want to info on how to humiliate guys?

Check out: Verbal Humiliation and Domination 101

F***, Marry, Kill: The Entourage Movie

by Madeline Iva

It’s a terrible game — I’ll be the first to admit it.  Yet the movie ENTOURAGE is out–and it’s full of seemingly hot men — or so it seems on the surface of things.  Let’s explore…

First of all — Do we even like TV shows turned into Movies? I mean, is it worth it? The scuttlebutt on the Entourage movie is that — just like Veronica Mars — it seems like a long episode, and is that really what we’re paying $18.00 for?  Did the Sex & The City Movies work? I mean, I never saw them, but I assume they earned big bucks because they made so many of them, right? My guess is that these movies are for addicts of the show.  There are fans out there who will go anywhere, do anything just to get more of the Entourage crack they crave.  Do you have a show that you’re that addicted to?

They eat, they shop, they talk about who got laid. The only difference is that they all live together.

Hey–Speaking of Sex & The City — Has anyone ever picked up on the amazing similarities between that show and Entourage? It’s about single-ish friends, the annoying date material of the moment, a whole lotta shopping, and chatter about the kind of sex they had last night.  Also they’re both shows about being seen in the right place in the right way.  (And we know which show came first, don’t we?) The comparisons can go on forever…

F***, Marry, Kill.  Okay, the ground rules are not to take this game at all seriously.  I’m assuming it’s possible that like me, you’re already a little embarrassed that you even watched the whole show from beginning to the end, when it’s so obviously a boy’s-tree-house-no-girls-allowed kind of overtly sexist POS.  There.  I said it. Moving on….

So who in the Entourage movie would you have sex with:

Eric, Turtle, Drama, Ari, or Vinnie?

Hot little gremlin that he is.

Ari is compelling to me, because I love a man who tries hard with all his heart, and he’s probably the smartest of the bunch. He’s a family man in his own way and faithful to his wife.

On the other hand he’s too much mouth, too much showboat sexism/racism/fill in the blank. He spews offensiveness in a way that seems compulsive.  Where’s it coming from? That mindless urge to dominate is beyond me.

Vinnie has never done it for me.  I do not like a playah.  And other than that and his good looks what’s he got? A sweet disposition? Blah.  He’d be in the kill spot — except —

Obviously Drama must die. He’s a very interesting character, but while I can constantly get sucked up into Ari’s desperate effort and root for him, at the end of the day, while Drama struggles, he also gets sucked into male insecurity-angst land and who wants to go there? Uck.  Plus, he is all about objectification and the ugly side of humanity in Hollywood.  Though not 100% of the time–like I said, he’s interesting to study.

That leaves Eric and Turtle.  SPEAKING OF WHICH: Turtle! He’s so frickin’ cute now.  OMG.

She wants to fetishize his shortness, and he plays along about 90% of the way.

I’m tempted to say ‘marry Eric‘ because he’s dependable, he’s even tempered, and he’s humble.  Then there’s the episode where the tall model (Maria Zyrianova) is so aggressively into him.  He had no problem getting it on with an Amazon.  It just won me over.  I like his voice too.

Yet I just hate it — HATE IT — when Sloane came back on the show and she was suddenly all hair extensions and new fake tits–which seemed to make her marriage-worthy. UGH!

If you really loathe this show, feel free to play a variant of this game we’ll call KILL! KILL! KILL! where you get to kill all the Entourage guys every time they’re total boneheads, every time they objectify women (and let’s be honest that’s at least 75% of the time.  They really make a point of it.)   Let’s make it a drinking game, shall we? Hey, this is really easy — Kill Drama, Kill Ari, Kill them all — the creators of the show, and while we’re at it, let’s take down the whole sexist structure of macho Hollywood.  There.

Hey, who’s that cute guy with the sling?

Okay, but not-so-seriously back to our game: What about Turtle? Yeah, he’s gotten all cute and all. Yet think back to old Turtle.

Old Turtle was a sexist git.  On the other hand, when he did like a gal, he seemed like someone who’d obviously be totally supportive of her career efforts, because that’s just in his genes. ALSO in the Entourage movie he’s totally into that ultimate-fighting champion woman, Rhonda Rousey. The fact that he’s smitten by her makes him kinda hot himself.

So it’s pretty much a toss up.  What would you do? In the end, I’ll go with the little Irish red head.  He’s smarter than Turtle, and smarts wins with me almost every time.

I know what you’re thinking: What about Billy Walsh? You’re right–I almost forgot about him. The wild card on the show, but by far the most sexy-hot in the bunch.  He’s the one I’ve been looking for to break out after the show is over.

Crap I almost forgot Billy Walsh, the wild director who hates suits.

Final answer: F*** Billy Walsh, Marry Eric, Kill Drama.

Final variation: the m/m version of F***, Marry, Kill: Entourage.  The rules are simple:  Name which two Entourage characters have sex with each other. Name which two Entourage characters have to marry each other…And finally which two Entourage characters die while having sex with each other?

Leave your comments below–the more absurd the better. Don’t forget to follow us at Lady Smut.  We’ll bring the buttered popcorn.

Do We Need Sex To Sell?

Well-Strung … and possibly, well-hung.

By Elizabeth Shore

Some people have all the luck. If you’re a guy and an outrageously talented baseball player  – as in talented enough for the MLB – you have the opportunity to have a great career and make an outrageously insane amount of money. But what if you’re equally as athletically gifted except your sport just happens to be discus throwing? Not only can you not give up your day job, you probably have to take a second one just for the money to participate.

For those in the fringe areas of any genre, whether it be sports or pop culture or even the corporate world, extra steps are often required for any chance at all to stand out. Take the world of classical music. Quick – can you name the top artist in opera right now? How about the best-selling violinist? Go ahead and think on that. I’ll wait.

Here’s the thing, though. Unless you high-tail it over to Google or you happen to love classical music, chances are slim that you’d know the answers no matter how hard you think. But classical musicians are no dummies. Despite their high-brow image they know as well as anyone that sex sells. So nowadays, even for classical musicians, if they’ve got it, they’re flaunting it.

Chris Marchant

Take Well-Strung, for example. A quartet of string musicians, Well-Strung has been making a name for themselves with a combination of talent, music that mashes classical with pop, and, let’s face-it, their frequently shirtless, ripped-bodied second violinist, Christopher Marchant. Chris isn’t shy about taking his shirt off. In fact, he’s not shy about taking all his clothes off, much to the delight of his fans. Chris and his pecs have begun earning the quartet attention, as evidenced by articles in New York magazine and the Huffington Post, among others. But a couple of years ago they received a less-than-favorable review in the august New York Times, where it was written of them, “as a classical ensemble, the quartet barely passes muster.” Ouch! A spank like that one might have sunk another group, but with near-naked pix of the well-built Marchand going around, Well-Strung has managed not only to survive but to thrive.

Lara St. John’s controversial CD cover

Several years ago musician Lara St. John caused a stir when she appeared topless on the cover of her CD, with only a well-placed violin coming between her girls and the viewer. Now, admittedly, part of the kerfuffle was caused also by the fact that St. John looked as if she were a mere teenager instead of in her mid-20s, which she actually was at the time. But did that cover help with the CD’s sales? asked no one, ever. You can bet your sweet Stradivarius it did. Was Lara St. John pressured to do it? She said in interviews years later she wasn’t and has no regrets about the picture. Yet one has to wonder who came up with the idea in the first place. Those other than St. John with skin in the game certainly benefitted from her titillating CD cover photo.

So yes, as we come to the Captain Obvious conclusion, sex sells. Everywhere. In order to get some needed attention, should we romance authors take a cue from classical musicians and market not just the sexy content of our books but our sexy selves as well?

With annual sales well over a billion dollars every year, romance isn’t exactly a fringe genre. Everyone knows that. And with the spike in indy publishing the market is more crowded than ever. How does an unknown author get her books to stand out among the Nora Roberts and Debbie Macombers of the world? Should we adapt an equally sexy image as the heroines we create and leapfrog our way to the top by baring all – or at least by baring some?

What do you think? Would you drop your top to sell more books or are you and your girly bits staying under wraps. Share your thoughts in the comments section below, and don’t forget to follow us at Lady Smut. We’ll always give you the naked truth.

 

 

Cara McKenna—Rockin’ My World!

By Liz Everly

 Okay, so by now you know how I am about my reading. I tend to be hard to please. But when I find a writer I love, I simply must sing praises. It helps when you have a friend who has very similar reading tastes. (I’m looking at you Adriana Anders.) She posted on Facebook that this book, AFTER HOURS, was reduced in price. She also mentioned that, in her opinion, this book is everything an erotic romance should be.

Adriana did me good. Yes, indeed. This book is indeed everything an ER should be, but also, it’s everything a good book should be–McKenna is a masterful writer.  Her character are finely drawn, setting is fascinating and realistic, and the romance, lovely. But the sex??? It sizzles, baby.

So many times, I can’t get through a whole sex scene. We’ve discussed this here, right? How some of us will skip right over the sex scenes. Sometimes I like the first few, then get bored. Sometimes I hate the sex scenes from the get go. Not every writer can write sex scenes. Not even every GOOD writer can write them. It’s an extra gene some writers are born with. Or they have worked extra hard at sex scenes. Maybe it’s a little of both.

This book offers up one of the best sex scenes I’ve ever read. One sex scene is two chapters long–about 40-50 pages. This maneuver would usually bore me. But, I was riveted. I wanted more.

I read it during two very busy days in my life, where things would have gone much more smoothly for me–if I could have put the damn book down. But I couldn’t. No way. That’s how much I loved this book.

This book is a lesson the the best form for erotic romance writers everywhere—and a sheer pleasure for erotic romance readers. It’s on sale still, for .99. Grab it while you can.

Here is the blurb about the book:

A dangerous infatuation with a rough and ready man… 

Erin Coffey has been a nurse for years, but nothing’s prepared her for the physical and emotional demands of her new position. Needing to move closer to her dysfunctional family, she takes a dangerous job at Larkhaven Psychiatric Hospital, where she quickly learns that she needs protection—and she meets the strong, over-confident coworker who’s more than willing to provide it.

Kelly Robak is the type of guy that Erin has sworn she’d never get involved with. She’s seen firsthand, via her mess of a sister, what chaos guys like him can bring into a woman’s life. But she finds herself drawn to him anyway, even when he shows up at her door, not eager to take no for an answer.

What Erin finds even more shocking than Kelly’s indecent proposal is how much she enjoys submitting to his every command. But he can’t play the tough guy indefinitely. If they want to have more than just an affair, both will have to open up and reveal what they truly need.

Check it out–I promise you won’t be disappointed. Also, don’t forget to enter our Goodreads giveaway for the Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires.

Click on the cover to hop on over to Goodreads to enter the contest.

BDSM Disney Style

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

If you always believed there was something kinky underneath the surface of Disney characters, this post is for you.

Artist Christopher Stoll has created the series Disney Dommes featured this week on the Shady Lady Fairy Tales blog. In this series, Stoll recreates Disney “princesses” and their male “princes” in fetish and BDSM poses.

“The intention is not to make porn,” Stoll says. “Rather these pop-culture heroines are being used to demonstrate how conventional notions of sexual performance can be turned on their head. There is nothing shameful or inherently pornographic about ostensibly vanilla princesses in sexually expressive or traditionally masculine positions.”

Featuring Binding and Servitude along with the somewhat less well-known Pet Play, Medical Play, Needle Play, Stoll not only includes a brief bio about how, say, Cinderella is working out her issues by making Prince Charming lick the hearth, he also gives details on the fetish itself.

The images are copyrighted (and rightly so), so head over to the Shay Lady Fairy Tales site to see Rapunzel tying Flynn up in her hair for kinky fun or Mulan exploring Feminization with her foot on the…butt of the issue.

You’ll never look at Disney Princesses the same way again.

Don’t miss out! There’s still time to head over to Goodreads and sign up for out giveaway of The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires.

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