Liz Everly's Blog, page 78

Warning: Do NOT Read Kristen Ashley

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

Every so often, you stumble onto a new author and feel the need to tell everyone in your contacts list, or your Facebook feed, or your Twitter timeline, or all of them together to go out and read that author tout freaking suite. The reverse is also true, that being when a dire warning is instead deeply required.

Well, let me warn you now not to start reading Kristen Ashley’s racy contemporary romance novels and especially not her (relatively) new racy bad boy biker Chaos series and here’s why:

Click on image to buy!

Do not read Kristen Ashley if you like sleep. Because you won’t get any. No, really.

Do not read Kristen Ashley books if you aren’t prepared to stay up until 4 AM wondering when the hell the damn book is gonna end because you need to sleep and then not caring because the need to finish it outweighs all other considerations like the fact that you have to get up in three hours and capably perform your freaking job that you’re now seriously considering quitting because it means you won’t be able to continue reading Kristen Ashley books for about 8 to 10 hours.

Do not read Kristen Ashley’s books if you have “just one more chapter” disease or its symptomatic brethren, “just one more page” syndrome, which are both a short trip to the dreaded “Dead Reader Walking” epidemic. That sucker spreads like damn and wow with the speed of a “buy with 1-click” button. I hate that button. I need that button. But I hate that button.

Do not read Kristen Ashley’s books if you like articles like “a”, “and”, “the”, “but”, etc. because if you read enough of her books, say in a no-end-yet-in-sight reading binge, you’ll conclude that such grammatical staples are redundant and unnecessary and really just impede getting to the heart of the matter. Or the sentence. Or the smokin’ hot sex scene. Or the bad ass rescue. Or the heart to heart “chat”.

Click on image to buy!

Do not read Kristen Ashley’s books if you have a sponge-like mind that soaks in what you read (if you read enough of it) and you’re not prepared to have the vocabulary of your inner monologue augmented by phrases like “do ya feel me?” or “do you get me?” or “I laid that out for you” and “I need to confirm you’re hearing me”. Do not read her books unless you’re prepared to realize that “fuckuva lot” is a phrase that suddenly seems inordinately appropriate to all too many situations in your life. Do not read her books if you’re not prepared for “advice” “gratitude” and “marker” to be blunt renditions of their respective meanings, kinda like the dialogue in the four or five episodes of Spartacus you got through before concluding that watching John Hannah, Lucy Lawless, and Jamie Murray, each of whom you really like individually, have a very explicit (if [hopefully] faked) threesome was not something you were keen to keep in your memory banks.

But I digress.

Do not read Kristen Ashley’s books if you like the friends-to-lovers trope or the lovers-who-didn’t-work-then-come-back-20-years-later-still-in-love-with-one-another trope or the girl-who-falls-for-older-guy-when-she’s-too-young-is-now-grown-up-and-he’s-into-her-too trope or good-girl-who-tames-wild-man trope or the family-is-where-you-make-it trope-o-topia. Don’t read her books if you don’t like a huge cast of characters that occasionally require a re-read here and there to remember who fits where. Ditto big, complicated families with serious drama that just makes everything that much more juicy.

Click on image to buy!

Do not read Kristen Ashley’s Chaos series books if riding on a Harley Davidson motorcycle is absolutely anywhere on your bucket list. And really, do not read Kristen Ashley’s Chaos series if you have, or ever have had, a bad-boy-biker-with-an-inner-emo-core jones because that bad-boy-biker-with-an-inner-emo-core jones will freak the fuck out. Trust me on this. Do not read her books if that jones includes alpha commandos or alpha cops or alpha DEA agents all of whom have secrets and damage and nearly unbelievably big hearts and incongruous soft sides brought out by fashion-forward, independent, damaged, possibly stuck in their own heads, immersed in BFD drama and momentarily overwhelmed by the sudden insertions of said hot alphas in that drama until they get themselves together and figure their shit out, honest-to-God self-rescuing heroines. 

Say that ten times fast.

Do not read Kristen Ashley’s books if you are a series slut, because you will quickly find yourself seeped in the reader equivalent of lying back and happily taking it over and over again because there are a fuckuva lot of her books and one way or another, they spread into each other so that, for a “random” example, you could find yourself reading Own the Wind and wondering about Tack and Tyra’s story while you’re reading about their kid and her bad boy, and then you realize Tack and Tyra’s story is in Motorcycle Man and say, that’s the fourth book of another series whose characters’ names are now familiar because they keep showing up and hey, maybe just take a peak and see how that book folds out, and fuck me it’s 4 AM. Again.

Do ya feel me?

Click on image to pre-order!

In one week (okay, maybe 10 days) I’ve read eight Kristen Ashley books, (four of them twice), including all of the Dream Man series and all of the (as yet available) Chaos novels. Thirty minutes ago, I gasped aloud to see that the next Chaos book, Walk Through Fire, is now available on NetGalley (which is how I got in this “no sleep” hot mess in the first place). And yeah, when you read ’em that fast and back-to-back-to-back, you start to see some similarities carrying through, phrases and descriptions and whatnot, but that’s called “voice”, y’all, and it’s what keeps us reading the Krentzs and the Banks and the Crusies and the Phillips and the Roberts of Romancelandia, and boy, howdy, will it keep you reading Kristen Ashley.

Just don’t say you were never warned.

 

Follow Lady Smut. Don’t bother with our warning label. They’re more like guidelines anyway.

 

Sexy Saturday Round Up

Hello readers — Welcome in the fall with today’s fun links and then get out there and enjoy yourself.

Today I’m allllllllll by myyyyyyyyy sel–el-elf.  But that’s okay, Elizabeth Shore will be back next week and there’s a lot to look at here:

–Madeline

From the NYTimes: When your sex life doesn’t follow the script. 

Loved this post: Your boobs are amazing—so find a bra that truly fits:

He’s quite fit! The 54 year old model

One way for guys to ramp up their sex life: take on more child care duties.

Heard about the controversy surrounding the fat shaming video by Nicole Arbour? Well, amidst the backlash here are 7 things you might not think are fat shaming but are.

For the record I would like to see all of these celebrity pairings played out: If Hollywood Age Gaps Were Gender Swapped. 

From HuffPo: Why “Diary of a Teenage Girl” is the most important film about sex this year.

And I think this age problem starlets have probably could say more about the maturity of young actresses to handle great roles than it does about men who are long in the tooth before they make it.

Several Arab women search for their inner goddess via selfies.

Six things a city girl should know before she dates a guy from the country

Isabelle Drake’s handy reference guide to understanding the small town guy.

 

1. He’s not a hipster (…yet).

 

The first time you met him he was drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon and wearing a flannel shirt, a Carhartt beanie, and a pair of Red Wing boots. It was only until you got close enough to hear what he was saying that you realized he was talking about how he was all-conference middle line-backer his senior year, and not discussing how Paul Thomas Anderson is America’s “most important”

filmmaker.

 

2. He won’t get your Mean Girls quotes.

 

The cable company didn’t have service all the way out where he lived. In fact he barely got enough reception with the comically-sized rabbit ears bolted to the side of his house to watch the State game on Saturdays. The closest cinema was thirty miles from his house so he’s only ever seen three movies: The Notebook, Forest Gump, and Remember the Titans.

 

3. His Confederate Flag belt buckle doesn’t make him a racist (probably).

 

That’s not actually even the confederate flag. That’s the battle flag of the army of north Virginia and the only reason he’s wearing it is because of that show Dukes of Hazzard. To him the red, white and blue reminds of home cooked meals and good ol’ boys. That being said, if he tells you that the south will rise again, you might want to move on. Maybe not. Just ‘sayin.

 

4. No, he doesn’t like to dance.

 

Or any kind of Dance. His eyes still tear up when he remembers his middle school wrestling coaching telling him he was “lead footed”. He would be much happier lying on a picnic blanket in the bed of his truck than being bumped into by sweaty twenty-year-olds years in a sketchy club with the latest Diplo/Tiesto collab track blaring in his ears.

 

5. Only having 80 Facebook friends doesn’t mean he’s a serial killer.

 

His high school graduating class was only 30 people and his principal was his best friend’s grandpa. And his history teacher. And the football coach. His social circle is tiny and he probably likes it that way.

 

6. Don’t visit his hometown.

 

To you it sounds quaint and cute. You imagine big bright red barns and sprawling pastures filled with galloping horses and grazing cows. The reality is a run-down gas station and a diner whose only patron is a ninety-year-old man who only stops wheezing long enough to leer at what you and mutter to himself about “girls these days”.

 

7. Your romantic past is longer than his.

 

You might’ve had thirty new matches on Tinder every day for the last few years, but he only ever had one girlfriend before you and it was the town scandal when the two of them didn’t get married the summer after they graduated high school.

 

There you have it Lady Smut readers, a list straight from a country boy himself. But he won’t let me add him name. See number 4. But you never know, this list could come in real handy, next time you get lucky enough to side up to a guy with callouses from chopping wood and cow sh*t smeared on his boots. If you don’t want to wait for that day, ya’ll can check out my country girl moves to the city to reinvent herself book, Unfinished Business.

Like Boxers?

by Madeline Iva

Not these boxers —

Nicer than tightey whiteys

THESE Boxers….

Yum!

So I’ve been reading books by Elisabeth Staab, who as you may know, did a saucy little interview with me HERE on Lady Smut once upon a time.

She’s turned away (for the moment) from paranormal smexy to rather sweet contemporary romances and has two new books out. Let’s take a gander, shall we?

At the Stars

At the Stars — click to buy.

One is called At the StarsAT THE STARS and the other is Acts of Creation (Evergreen Grove)ACTS OF CREATION.  Both include boxers — yaz! The super sexy kind, not the more dignified alternatives to tightey whiteys.  To be honest, in AT THE STARS our hero is really more an ex-boxer turned car mechanic.  (Which is even more of a turn on, right? Clearly the man knows what to do with his hands.)

AT THE STARS is sweet.  The story starts out with two pretty tortured people, and who doesn’t like a tortured hero? Nobody, that’s who.  Our heroine Cassie is not just tortured, she’s desperate, as her car has gone into million dollar repair mode and it is Just Too Much on top of everything else she’s had to deal with.  Thus, she’s stuck in small town nowhere with Mr. No I Just Can’t Get Involved Right Now.  Ah! A reluctant, distant-yet-hot hero named Jake that she has to win over with her charm and pluck. Why this is just the kind of plot I salivate for.

Okay, not to put any spoilers in here–but in AT THE STARS we meet the h/H of the next book Acts of Creation (Evergreen Grove)ACTS OF CREATION–and we find out some pretty important key stuff that lays the ground work for Elisabeth’s second book.  So I’ll just put it out there.  ***MAJOR MAJOR SPOILER ALERT***

In the first book Cassie the heroine meets Michelle — and Michelle, the heroine of the second book, is a rape survivor.

Acts of Creation (Evergreen Grove)

Click to buy

The thing is: Dante, the hero of the second book, is a survivor of sexual abuse too.

Boom!  I’m just so into it people — a super tall, achingly vulnerable guy. Seriously, I’m melting here.

He’s living a lie.

Dante Ramos: Champion. Ladies’ man. Party animal. Women want him, and men  either want to be him or put his lights out for sleeping with their girlfriends. It’s all  an act. Inside, he’s so full of self-loathing he’s on a fast-track to self-destruction.

She’s living in the shadows.  Meeting Michelle at a support group for assault survivors shows Dante a new world  of possibilities. Finally, someone in his life might understand him, and she creates  in him a fierce need to protect. Trouble is, Dante lives his life in the spotlight, and  the only thing Michelle wants is a place to hide.

So this book has me by the scruff of the neck because these guys are MUCH MORE tortured than the pair in At the StarsAT THE STARS and I’m just hanging on every line.

Hey — so you might like these books too, right? Check them out.  Buy them.  Just click on the covers to go to Amazon.

Meanwhile, I’ll be at the Second Annual Washington Readers & Bloggers Luncheon with Elisabeth Staab on October 10th, which is coming up.  YOU SHOULD COME TOO! JOIN US and we can ALL HAVE AN AWESOME TIME together.  (Okay, I don’t mean to use so many caps. I know I’m shouting in your head. But last year was crazy fun; it’s such a great event for readers, so I’m all excited, I guess.)

Just go to facebook HERE to see the other fun n fabulous authors who will be there to shower you with gifts and click the link to sign up.

Meanwhile, follow us at Lady Smut if you like your blows right in the kisser.

Viva Italia!

Elizabeth Shore and some of her friends hanging out in Italy.

Elizabeth Shore is off in Italy hanging out with some friends.  Poor thing.  So sad.  I’m so glad I’m not seeing great art, having to eat amazing food and look at gloriously sensual Italian men all day.  Meanwhile, here are some of her excellent posts from the past — check it out, mates.

Howling Good Wolf Tales

Couples Who Read Together

Oh Cum On! Are you Gonna Swallow That? 

All Choked Up About Taboo

Hot Men For Cold Nights

 

The White Zone Is For Picking Up Passengers: Hot Airport Sex

No travel for me this holiday weekend, just lots of work this Labor Day. Next week, I’ll have some exciting news for you all! This week, all I’ve got is a nice, warm flashback to a long-ago holiday trip.

By Alexa Day

I hate flying. Airfare’s out of control. That position you have to assume in the scanner machine – I don’t know, isn’t that exactly the posture of those people in horror movies who are about to be crushed by something huge? The whole experience has driven me to road trips. I only fly when I absolutely have to.

So when I had to fly for the Christmas holiday, I remembered the very best thing about air travel: the airport itself. Leaving the hell of TSA screening behind and heading off toward the concourses is like that scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy opens the door of her home post-tornado and discovers that the world is made of Technicolor. The airport has a magic all its own.

First, I make it a point to hit the airport bar. You know the song, “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere”? Well, the airport bar is “somewhere.”

After I’ve had my welcome-to-vacation beer (or beers), it’s time to settle in for some nice man-watching along the concourse. I’m not sure what makes the airport a haven for hot guys. Maybe I’m just being exposed to a wider cross-section of men on the concourse, and I’m seeing not only the most attractive men who are coming back home but hotties from out of town, as well as fine gentlemen making connections. Maybe I’m just relaxed after the TSA nightmare, and my rose-colored glasses just make everyone look hot. Maybe it’s the high concentration of uniforms – both flight crew and military are abundant in the good ol’ airport. Whatever the cause, my last few trips to the airport have turned up a lot of … inspiration … for this erotic romance writer.

While I was hanging out at the Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta, contemplating The Men of D Concourse and sharing my observations with the Twitterverse, I found myself in this rather interesting situation.

Ryan Gosling lookalike on the left. Nervous-looking European type (in adorable saddle shoes) on the right. Tall hot blond strolling by. #atl

— Alexa Day (@AlexaJDay) December 26, 2013

Because I’m one of those who can’t just leave work at the office, I let my imagination explore the practical possibilities of this. Not for me, of course. For a fortuitous heroine with the guts to do more than stare slyly at Saddle Shoes and the well-heeled Gosling clone. Sparks are sure to fly in the potent mixture of anonymity and stranger danger that fuels modern American air travel. On the one hand, we have all bonded in some way through the shared TSA experience. On the other hand, since we probably won’t see each other again after this interlude on the D Concourse, we needn’t ruin these special moment with names. Add the time pressure that dominates air travel, and voila! Instant sexual tension.

But what would a lucky woman do if things started to go very well for herself and Saddle Shoes and the Gosling clone? What if things started to go well enough to include the tall hot blond?

Well, let’s be honest. There’s plenty that new friends can do right there on the D Concourse. Sure, people are all over the place, but they’re preoccupied with other things. They’re moving briskly along, trying to get to their gates or the train or whatever. They might not even notice three or four people becoming better acquainted as long as they all keep their clothes on.

Those not inclined toward exhibitionism have a couple of other options. There’s the airport lounge – you know, the ones coach flyers like me only hear about – with the deep comfortable chairs and a luxuriant shower. I imagine it’s quiet enough in the Admirals’ Club to enjoy a hushed game of I Never and some nice dirty talk.

Long layover? No trouble.

There’s something to be said for real privacy, though. For that, you’d need a sleep pod.

The sleep pod is a relatively recent travel innovation. Although air travelers have been sleeping at the airport for years (I myself have spent many hours asleep on my duffel bag), the sleep pod is specifically designed for that purpose. Some of them look like the cryopods in Alien. Some of them look like the boxes you get action figures in. But Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson Airport has five little mini-suites on the B Concourse. They look like tiny hotel rooms. They’re not huge, but I think they’d offer three – or four – people more than enough space to really get to know each other.

I didn’t know about the Minute Suites on my Christmas trip. Even if I had, they were two concourses away. Kind of a long trip for a short layover.

But now I know there are sleep pods on B Concourse, hot guys on the D Concourse … and The Varsity on the C Concourse. I might be ready to move in to the Atlanta airport. I wonder what the TSA will have to say about that?

Coffee, tea, or Lady Smut? Why not all three? Follow us. It’s still the safest way to travel.

A Day Off From Labor

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

Happy Labor Day, lovely Lady Smutters!

 

On which we should all do absolutely no laboring.

Not this:

 

Or this:

 

Certainly not this:

 

And never this:

 

So, I dunno. Go fly a kite…

 

…hit the beach….

 

 

…or fire up…the grill

 

But don’t you do nothin’ today….

 

Let him do all the work.

 

 

Follow Lady Smut. We won’t make you work for it. Much.

 

Sexy Saturday Round Up is on VACA

See y’all next week. :) 

Marbles in Your Panties And Harry Potter with Multi Award-Winning Author Cecilia Tan

by Elizabeth SaFleur

The list of kudos, awards and testimonials for writer, editor and activist CECILIA TAN, if listed here, would break this blog. She has been inducted into the Saints & Sinners Hall of Fame for GLBT Writers, won a coveted RT Reviewers Choice Award in Erotic Romance, the Maggie Award for Excellence, and TAN herself was awarded the RT Career Achievement Award in Erotic Fiction and the RT Pioneer Award in Genre Fiction for Erotica at the last RT Booklovers Convention.

That’s the short list.

CECILIA gives us imaginative, heart-felt, well-crafted stories that’ll melt you like a latex body suit. After reading Slow Surrender, I have never looked at marbles the same way. If I ever re-read the Harry Potter series, I’d likely say the same about Harry after the Magic University series. (All good.)

Oh, and in addition to writing many books, she is founder and editor of Circlet Press.

“Cecilia Tan is simply one of the most important writers, editors, and innovators in contemporary American erotic literature.” ~Susie Bright

She has a passion for baseball (and has written several baseball nonfiction books) and TaeKwon Do and plays several musical instruments. She once was a professional ski instructor and taught mime and Spanish to elementary school kids.

Who else feels like an underachiever right now? <>

But CECILIA also is really nice and approachable in person. She was the keynote speaker at the BDSM Writers Con two weeks ago, where her table at the book fair never went unvisited by admiring fans.

(My favorite quote from one of her many presentations at the Con: In “real” dominant-submissive life, “subs will endanger themselves to please their tops. Tops have to accept this irrationality about bottoms. Submissives fear disappointing their Dominants more than bodily harm.” For a writer that provides all kinds of fodder.)

Speaking of ideas and wisdom . . . CECILIA stops by today and shares with us what’s next, writing-wise, and how she got started — among many other insider anecdotes, such as how Slow Surrender was born. An amazing story.

Welcome, Cecilia! Thanks for talking with us at LadySmut. First, of all the writing genres you could write, why erotic romance?

Erotica and sexuality have always been my number one topics to write about, going all the way back into my childhood writing days. I always knew I was going to be a writer. I thought when I was growing up that I was going to be a science fiction writer, but when I started publishing professionally in the early 1990s it was clear the place where I really found my “voice” and the stories I was burning to write were erotic science fiction and fantasy. Erotica is still my main theme, whether it’s wearing the label of romance or urban fantasy or women’s fiction.

You write magical realism, fan fiction, science fiction, contemporary and more. That’s quite a mix! I might be making this up, but I sense a theme of “out of the ordinary.” Would that be an appropriate way to characterize your work? 

And cyberpunk and LGBT and high fantasy… et cetera. The main thing is all of them are erotic or exploring sexuality and sex in some way.

You liken writing Fan Fiction as “a professional ballet dancer going out to a disco or dance club.” Have you had any pushback from fans of the Harry Potter series when you published your Magic University series?

Not that I’ve heard. I’m deeply embedded in Harry Potter fandom, both online and in real life through Harry Potter conventions and regional meetup groups, and the reaction has been universally positive. Potter fandom is incredibly accepting of alternative sexuality and supportive of creativity, as you might expect from a book series that has tolerance and diversity as a main theme. (The final book in the series comes out next week–September 15!)

In your award-winning Struck by Lightning series, you have one very reluctant rock star/artist who begins an unconventional relationship with the heroine, a grad student/waitress. How did the series idea come about? Was there an “inciting incident” (I’m picturing you at a rock concert!) where the story just came to you?

The “inciting incident” was that my agent called me on the day that 50 Shades of Grey was on the front page of the New York Times. That was a Friday. She said, “Because of this, on Monday, my phone is going to ring off the hook because every editor in New York who has been telling me for 15 years ‘Cecilia Tan is too kinky for us,’ is going to call and say ‘get me Cecilia Tan right now.'” So she advised me to cook up a proposal over the weekend. I cleared my schedule, sat down with my laptop, and wrote the entire first two chapters–the meeting in the bar, the game with the marble down her panties, the walk down the Manhattan street while he watches from the limo–pretty much all in one day. I simply started with a blank page, heard Karina’s voice in my head, threw a mystery man at her, and we were off to the races! My agent was right: that book launched a three-book series at Hachette/Forever.



How does a book start for you?

That’s pretty much my process described above. “Hey, Cecilia, write something!” “Okay.” I sit down with a blank page and everything that has been stored up coalesces into fiction. For the big publishers I do have to write an outline, but often I write very very sketchy outlines because I really do not know what is going to happen until it does. I don’t know the backstory of the characters, I don’t know their quirks, none of that. I know there are writers who make out very detailed character histories, and have photos of actors who look like them, and know what flavor of ice cream they like and what brand of car they drive and all that. That would absolutely bore me to tears and pretty much kill any interest I might have had in getting to know that character “in person.” In my MFA program they called what I do “writing for discovery.” In the romance writing world they call me a “pantser,” i.e. I fly by the seat of my pants. Discovering the story locked in my subconscious can only happen through writing the actual story. if I dig it out any other way, it comes up broken and flat and no fun to write. Writing is a joy for me.

I understand your consult Tarot cards when writing. What a fascinating way to access choices, plots and decisions. Do you use the Tarot cards for all your writing? How has it helped you?

I mostly used Tarot cards when writing the Magic University books, where the magic of the Tarot is a big part of the plot and a recurring motif. But if I get stuck on a character or a plot point, they’re useful All the Tarot do, like a Rorschach test, is force you to look at what’s inside your subconscious. That’s what writing is: revealing the story in your subconscious to your conscious mind. So it’s just one more tool for doing that.

What is your definition of erotic romance versus steamy romance?

Is there such a thing? I’ll confess I’ve never seen the label “steamy romance” applied to a book before. Erotic romance, to me, means a romance where the romantic bond between the characters is built up throughout the novel through sexual interaction. Thus a romance that has some graphic sex scenes but only at the very end might not count as “erotic romance” to me. I find romances where the characters fall madly in love before they’ve ever had sex to be unbelievable, though. I just can’t suspend my disbelief that much. That’s so opposite to my personal experiences of love, I can’t relate.

Do you have a favorite writing “moment?” 

My favorite writing moment was when I was writing the first Magic University book, The Siren and the Sword. Like the Potter books there is a mystery in each volume, plus an overarching plot that carries from book to book. As I was writing the big climax scene where our hero catches the culprit I have him holding hands in a group dance with two characters. One was supposed to be the culprit and the other an innocent bystander. WAIT, I thought, what if…the innocent bystander was the culprit all along? I ran with it and finished writing the book with that as the culprit and then I went back to rewrite, thinking well, now I have to put in all the clues that point to this new change I made. Right? Wrong. All the clues were already in there. My subconscious knew perfectly well who the culprit was, but just didn’t see fit to reveal it to ME until I actually wrote it. This is why I have learned to trust my subconscious and trust the “write for discovery” process.

What is next for you, writing wise? 

Well, for those who love rock stars, there’s more in store. Not only is my gay series Daron’s Guitar Chronicles continuing–we just released book eight in that series and book nine will be coming in November–I’m writing a followup to Struck by Lightning for Hachette that combines BDSM and rock stars again, too! The new series is called Secrets of a Rock Star, and the first book, TAKING THE LEAD, will be out in January. (Amazon already has it up for pre-order!)

Anything exciting you right now?

What’s exciting me is that now that the world is finally ready to read my sexy, sexy books, I get to be the rock star! Well, sort of. I get to travel the world and wear fabulous outfits from time to time and meet people and inspire their erotic fantasies (through my books). That’s as close to being a rock star as I’m ever going to get!

Thanks for stopping by, Cecilia. Best of luck with Taking the Lead. We look forward to reading what you come up with next!

Hook yourself up with some CECILIA TAN books:

The Siren and the Sword (Book one of the Magic University series)

Slow Surrender  (Book one of the Struck by Lightning series)

Preorder for Taking the Lead

Connect, Follow, Like, Share and Socialize with CECILIA TAN:

Facebook   Twitter   Instagram  tumblr   Google+  Pinterest  Goodreads  Web site  Amazon author page

The Hawt Men From U.N.C.L.E.

Lookin’ good, Henry.

by Madeline Iva

Is Henry Cavill the most beautiful man on the face of this planet? Probably.* I’ve talked about him before, and goggled over him in Superman, but this time Henry is in THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.** a movie I shelled out the big bucks to see while it’s still in the movie theaters, cause in the previews, damn, he looked hot.

I’m happy to say the movie *is* as fun and stylish as it looked.   Although I was a little surprised—not by Henry–though he totally delivers on stylish eat-me-with-a-spoon charm. No, I was surprised by Armie Hammer.  He seriously gives Henry a run for his money.

How many fake crows were abused in the making of this movie?

I’ve seen Armie Hammer in interviews and just lurv his deep voice*** but this was the first time I’ve seen him in a movie role. Did you watch The Lone Ranger? Neither did I. Let’s not discuss why, but I’m looking at you and that dead bird on your head, Johnnie Depp.

DH and I discussed the name Armie –which I thought was Arnie, but no, it’s not. It’s Armie which is short for Armand. As in Armand Hammer – yes, as in THAT Armand Hammer – who was a big deal businessman from long ago, and is Armie’s grandfather**** but is not the baking soda. Glad we got that cleared up.

So, during the previews it was all “Get that Lone Ranger guy out of the way, I’m trying to look at Henry.” While watching the movie, however, a few thoughts were rolling around in my head at the same time.  Yes, the movie is enjoyable.  Henry is amusing. Guy Richie is doing for Henry Cavill what Hitchcock did for Cary Grant, bringing out his polished gorgeous perfection in a deliciously droll package that will make women all across this great nation purr.  Yet as we got deeper into the movie, they brought out Armie Hammer’s role a little more.  That’s when I started noticing him a LOT.

He has very nice hands as you can see below. The rest of him isn’t so bad either. He’s very tall. He makes Henry–at 6’ 1”–seem short, he’s that tall.

The brooding Russian plays chess while the girl tries to get his attention with her mad dance moves.

Armie is playing a Russian. Is he believable as a Russian? No. Not particularly. Does it matter? No, not particularly.

In fact the movie is a bit meta, and one of the quirky things about it is that ever actor in this film is playing a nationality they’re not. Henry is British but he’s playing an American (He took over the role from Tom Cruise).  He has a very nice accent, but like most Brits, it’s overdone. He sounds like he studied some American 50’s TV episode for decades, but hey, this is a cold war period film, so it kinda works. The leading actress, Alicia Vikander, is Swedish.  Yet in the film she is playing East-German.  She’s very cute and adds a lot to the movie, (seriously, she’s one to watch, and can act circles around all the men) but her accent is a mix of British, German, and American. Meanwhile, the villainess is an Aussie playing an Italian. (And at 6′ 2″ is also making Henry look short. Poor Henry). I think Hugh Grant is the only one in the entire film who’s actually a Brit playing British. Maybe that’s why he looks so chuffed.

Don’t want to use spoilers, here, but I think Armie has the emotional hook for the film.  He plays a wound up Russian with daddy issues in a fake engagement with a mechanic-turned-spy-bait named Gaby. Is the engagement as fake as it’s supposed to be? See, that’s what starts to hook us into him, as he tries to find an emotional grip. In these scenes he’s really good at connecting with his eyes.  So maybe that’s why I found him a bit more compelling than Henry. Though I didn’t like the ‘mad violence’ motif they used for Armie’s character.  Was that in the original? Dunno. I wasn’t born yet when the original came out, and haven’t checked it out.  Friends say it’s only meh.

Nice hands, uh, Ilya.

Armie or Henry? Henry or Armie? Or hey, why not both? Throughout this movie you just want to be the filling in an Armie-Henry sandwich, and that’s what makes it such a delight. ; >

Though for you m/m fans out there, one could easily imagine an Armie-Henry pairing where you know, you just get to watch, because in true Guy Richie’s style there is plenty of queer baiting going on here.

No, lean over more. More! That’s it.

Obviously there are supposed to be more Man From U.N.C.L.E. films in the future. Guy Richie is working it with his film style.With the Sherlock films, he was a little too in love with his own talents and killed the pacing. He started off with British gansta films, and this light caper film is close enough to that form to be in his comfort zone. Now he’s upping his game, and with a few nods to Tarrantino, keeps us plugging right along so that at the very end of the film I wasn’t  sure if there was going to be another act.  If there was, I wouldn’t have minded. Is that a recommendation? I think it is.

Here’s another rec: follow us at Lady Smut, where we’ll bring you much hotness at matinee prices.

Whew! I culled a lot of digressions from this blog post–want to read more? Here they are.

* Is Henry the most beautiful man on earth? I used to think Song Seung-heon from AUTUMN IN MY HEART, a Korean Drama, was the most beautiful man on the planet, but now I am willing to let Henry share the title with him.

Song Seung-heon is crazy beautiful. He and Henry can share the crown.

**DH saw the movie with me and said Matt Bomer must be like: Hey! That was my role. While Henry plays a well dressed thief forced to work for the government in THE MAN FROM UNCLE – Bomer had a very VERY similar role in the television show WHITE COLLAR. When pressed by DH, I will admit that there is some physical similarity between the two actors. However, I feel they are miles apart in terms of chemistry. DH liked Matt Bomer in his TV show, but I’ve never cared for him, and was not at all surprised when he came out of the Hollywood closet. (Good for you, Matt.) Except for thinking “damn, that man can wear a sarong like nobody’s bizness” in Magic Mike XXL, he has never done it for me. (Though I know some would disagree. *cough* Kiersten *cough*).

He can rock a sarong, that Matt Bomer.

***John Krasinski, who also is mega-tall and has a wonderfully soothing low voice must be hating Armie Hammer, thinking, “Hey, that was my role,” because they have a very similar warm, tall man charisma. Alas, I think Armie’s a better actor than John. Sorry, John. You know I still love you.

BTW, are you wondering what John’s been doing since The Office ended? Cause he kinda fell off the face of the earth. Welp, his much more successful British wife had a baby, and he seemed like he ate his way through the pregnancy while doing a ton of voice over work. Other than being so pleased with himself about the lip sync battles he did with Jimmie Fallon that he produced a show called Lip Sync Battle, (which has done quite well,) John hasn’t been acting much–if you can call lip syncing acting.  However, he is in a Michael Bay war movie called 13 HOURS. I saw a preview for it, and he does not speak one line.  : (

So, I don’t think war movies are going to be his thing, though I get the feeling he likes to rock the bushy beard. Poor John.

****Turns out Armie’s also from a super Christian background. Does that help, does it hurt? Dunno. I think at heart he’s a large, sweet guy.  Ring ring! Hello? Oh, Armie, that was the rom-coms.  They’re calling for you.