Nike Campbell-Fatoki's Blog, page 4

Who Drew the Line?

    

       It was 2009.  I was standing in the winding customs and immigration line at Murtala  Muhammed International Airport, Lagos.  I was tired from the traffic and the check-in process which left me with fewer Naira notes than budgeted.  After almost half an hour of waiting in line and getting to know the person in front and behind me more intimately than planned, I stood before the customs officers.  I gave the seated officer my green passport while another looked over his shoulder.  He opened it and stared for a few seconds.  His fellow officer leaned over and they murmured a few words before looking up.  

            “Adenike Campbell-Fatoki.   Why did you compound your name? “

I was amused, or probably too tired to entertain other emotions.

            “It’s a personal choice officer,” was my response.  

            He stamped the passport.  His eyes were all-knowing as he handed the passport back.  “Hmm, don’t forget home o.” 

            His eyes told me what his mouth could not say.  Was it foreign of me to have kept my maiden and married name?  Was this a non-Nigerian or non-African thing to have done? Had I forgotten home? Let me pause for a moment and collect myself.  I’ll come back to my answer later as I have more important things to talk about.  (What’s in a name anyway?)

            Before we (women) entered the professional workforce, we’ve had to juggle motherhood and everything else, be it on the farm, in the market place or 100% on the home front.   We were content watching our men and children excel.  Our reward lay in their success.  The 21st century woman, not so.  We were told from a young age we could be anything we wanted to be, after all, the sky is not the limit.  We graduated college top of our class and competed for the same jobs with male counterparts.

        We juggle motherhood and try not to bend from the pressures that high level jobs bring.  We are expected to be at par or better than our male counterparts, after all, we graduated from the same colleges.  Anything else would be a waste of investment.  So, when and who drew the invisible line?  Who set certain societal rules that women cannot or should not do certain things?   Gone are the chants ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better.’ Whoever came up with that saying in the first place?  Why must there be competition between men and women? 

        We are besieged by pressure to get married in our twenties, to keep home, kids and husband, clean, well fed and clothes, happy respectively, sometimes at the expense of our health.  Who said we have to get married in our twenties?  Why not thirties or forties? There are so many places to see and things to do.  If it’s not time, why force it?

    Who said we can’t keep our maiden names or change to our married names or keep both? People have been known to change their names for many reasons, including religious ones. It’s a personal choice and should not give rise to questions.   

     Who said we can’t start a second or third career at any age? If it’s your dream, you owe it to yourself to pursue it.  Anyone who truly loves you will support you. 

     Who said we can’t take risks? Our male counterparts do, and if they fail, we are there to pick and dust them off.  We are always the cheerleaders; it’s time we become the players.

        Who said we can’t speak our mind?  At home, at work, anywhere.  Your ideas may actually be the best in the room, but only if voiced. 

          Who said we can’t take time out to hang out with friends, or attend business meetings while our husbands bond with the kids?  They do.  It’s a partnership, let’s remember that.

    Photo credit:  Brittanica

      At the end of the day, people will only do what we allow them to do. Staring back at the customs officer, I could have blurted out that it was my right to do with my name what I wanted, raise my blood pressure in the process, and prove to everyone on the line that I could speak Queen’s English, but I didn’t.  It was, and remains my choice.  We limit ourselves when we box ourselves in, skirt around the lines we’ve drawn based on stereotypes and expectations, and give others liberty and power to do so.  It’s time to step across the line.  It’s time to LIVE.

Book Review Series: Honour Among All by Vivian Kay

I received a copy of Honour Among All from the author, and what a blessing it was.  Vivian Kay spins a tale that draws the reader in.

Set in present day Canada, Moni and Ladi are experiencing the challenges of married life coupled with raising a teenager.    Lack of communication and consideration for each other’s needs and feelings creates distance between them.  A bad decision by Ladi and unforgiveness by Moni complicates matters.

Debo, a childhood friend of Ladi’s introduces him to a world he never knew existed.  Deceived into thinking this will recharge his marriage; Ladi proposes the unspeakable to Moni with an ultimatum.  Moni, daughter of a pastor and life-long active church member makes a decision that throws her family life into turmoil.  The new, exciting life, once so inviting, spirals into disaster.  There are many casualties including their daughter, Shekinah.

Honour Among All is a glaringly honest take on marriage.  Vivian Kay bravely addresses issues which happen in today’s society but are never discussed publicly.  The story brilliantly conveys how vulnerable we all are as human beings.  If we do not guard our hearts and minds against temptation, it will take root, fester and take over.  Honour Among All was an easy and enjoyable read.

Great job by Vivian Kay.

Honour Among All is available at:

Amazon Kindle Store:  http://www.amazon.com/Honour-Among-All-Vivian-Kay-ebook/dp/B00J9R1ZKE/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395948902&sr=1-1&keywords=vivian+kay

Barnes& Noble Nook Store: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/honour-among-all-vivian-kay/1119002706?ean=2940149252824

About the Author

Vivian Kay is a debut Christian author weaving stories in Canada’s banana belt. When she is not writing or daydreaming about writing, she’s cooking, playing scrabble or snuggling up with a good book. Vivian loves to hear from her readers so please stop by at http://viviankay.wordpress.com/

 

It's Valentine's Day, So What?

The restaurants will be overflowing; the flower shops will be out of flowers and the stores, chocolate.   It’s so predictable and I am so over that. I want to do something selfless today.  I heard an interesting conversation on the Steve Harvey radio show a few days ago, think it was Monday; that love is sacrifice. It’s not only in the show of affection; anyone can give hugs and kisses.  Not everyone can sacrifice to prove their love.  When you give up something so the one you love can have, that’s real love.  A parent’s love is sacrificial love – giving up a luxury so their children can have.  Loving someone may mean letting them go after what they really want which may mean leaving you being.  Loving should also be  throughout the year.   

I’m scratching my head to recall when I really loved like that. 

Happy Valentine’s Day. xoxo

Rapture They come grovelingBearing giftsHearts unrep...

Rapture They come grovelingBearing giftsHearts unrepentant Banging their heads on the groundForgive me, bless me, heal meSweat fills their poresKnees scarred from crawling Voices hoarse from shoutingSurely they must make it Temporarily appeasedThey scatterBody aches affirm it Empty pockets confirm itHeaven boundForgiven, blessed, healed Alone at lastTheir hearts twist and turnTheir souls cry out, unsure © 2014

Rapture They come groveling Bearing gifts Hearts u...

Rapture   They come groveling Bearing gifts Hearts unrepentant   Banging their heads on the ground Forgive me, bless me, heal me Sweat fills their pores Knees scarred from crawling Voices hoarse from shouting Surely they must make it   Temporarily appeased They scatter Body aches affirm it Empty pockets confirm it Heaven bound Forgiven, blessed, healed   Alone at last Their hearts twist and turn Their souls cry out, unsure   © 2014

Path to Greatness Series: Oladipo Sisters

“Oladunni is a singer, songwriter, pianist and gospel recording artist, recognized as one of Boston’s rising stars for her extraordinary musical accomplishments..” “Olayeni…the soprano of the Oladipo Sisters, Olayeni began singing actively at age 5.  …an aspiring song writer, she co-wrote the song "Obey your God" featured on the Oladipo Sisters debut album I came upon the Oladipo Sisters by chance; fate I might say.  I listened to their songs and was curious to learn how they started their journey and honed their craft.  The Oladipo sisters were fortunate to identify their talents and passion and build on it from an early age.  These sisters have appeared on BET’s Dr. Bobby Jones Gospel Show, performed the national anthem numerous times at the Massachusetts State House and Boston Red Sox games and appeared on various TV and radio shows.    I was privileged to speak with Oladunni and Olayeni.  Both young ladies exuded a maturity beyond their years which I admired.  They are grounded and focused, a much-needed breath of fresh air.  They have motivated me to keep on with my journey.  When you read about their journey, you will also be inspired to continue on your path of greatness, whatever that is as long as you shine through and gain fulfillment from it.  Read about their journey and be inspired.    Tell us about the Oladipo sisters

The Oladipo Sisters are five gifted siblings based in Canton, Massachusetts, led by Oladunni (15) and Olayeni (13).  We sing gospel and inspirational songs. We released an original contemporary gospel album in 2011 called “The Mighty One” followed by an original patriotic single in 2012 called “A Song for America”. We have also recorded a number of cover songs. Our older sisters – Olamide (23) and Olaitan (21) - who are not part of the singing group, are  the principal songwriters for all our music.  They sometimes provide backup vocals for any original project.  Olajuwon (aka Lady Jubi) who is eight years old and the youngest, started singing when she was eighteen months old. She recorded the intro for the album on the song titled “Obey our God.” Her voice is also the first to be heard on single “A Song for America.” Jubi is a passionate piano student and hopes to be a future pianist.   
At WSHC International Gospel Concert 2011 Photo credit Chris Aduama What made you interested in singing and when did you start?

We grew up around music, in fact, we all entered the world with classical music playing in our mum’s delivery room. Our parents are music lovers and we are exposed to all different genres of music growing up from R & B, Pop, Gospel, and Inspirational music. Oladipo Sisters started singing together five years ago, but Oladunni started off as a solo artist at the age of 8 and still maintains an active solo career separate from our duo.    Tell us about your journey

We have been very blessed so far and so thankful for all the opportunities that have come our way. In the beginning..  Ladies - Oladunni and Olayeni (L-R)   Oladunni
 Oladunni – I am so blessed to have started my professional music career at age 8 with the world renowned Boston Pops Orchestra here in Boston under the direction of Maestro Keith Lockhart. I have performed with the orchestra over a dozen times over the years including at the nationally televised July 4th Concert. I sing the National Anthem for the Boston Celtics (basketball team here in Boston) and the Boston Red Sox (baseball team here in Boston). I also perform at many galas, private functions, and fundraisers. Olayeni Oladipo Sisters – We started performing together five years ago and have been going strong ever since. We were so blessed to be invited by the Boston Pops to play our original music at Symphony Hall Boston. We sang pieces of our original work under the direction of Maestro Charles Floyd and Maestro Keith Lockhart. In addition to that, we have been featured in many local news publication and featured twice in the prestigious Boston Globe. We have also appeared at some of the local TV stations and radio stations including NPR here in Boston.


What have you learned along the way?

We learned a lot along the way and we are still learning. We know that we are blessed to be in this position, and are thankful to God for this incredible opportunity to spread the message of love, hope, and peace through our music. We are so proud when we get feedback from fans about how our music has touched their lives. We take nothing for granted, and work very hard together. We have also learned the importance of giving back, and we proudly support two hospitals here in Boston by appearing for free at their events. Along with that, we also support a number of Foundations and make
free appearances there too.

What do you want to tell people – young and old - about going after what they want?The most important message we want people to know young or old is that nothing is impossible, yes there will be hard times, sometimes you just want to lie in bed and not do anything, but with hard work and perseverance, you will always accomplish any goal you set for yourself.   With Maestro Lockhart
 What or who inspire you?

We are very inspired by our parents who have sacrificed a lot for us five girls to be the best we can be. They are very present and support us 100%. We are thankful that education is their main priority for us, and sometimes we might be at a performance and still be doing homework in the Green room. Our two older sisters are also very special to us, they are the smartest sisters ever, incredible role models and we look up to them for mentoring and direction. They are American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) writers, and co-wrote all the songs in our album. We admire Mary Mary, the Gospel duo, and have done covers of a number of their songs. We also admire Beyonce and Jazmine Sullivan, we appreciate black women who are empowering other women and making it in the business. We also love Tye Tribbett and Mali Music, and how they have modernized gospel music.

What has been the most challenging aspects of what you do?

We both play active sports in school, right now it is basketball season for both of us, and we have grueling practice sessions and games. We also host our own Radio show on Roots Radio (www.rootsradiolove.com) called Oladipo Sister’s Playlist, we debuted this show in July 2013 and it airs every Saturday at 5pm with a repeat broadcast on Sunday at 4pm. The challenging part is finding the right balance between our school work and our radio show, we have to put a lot of time in planning the show every week, selecting songs for the playlist, but we already learned how to be organized and have adapted well to our busy lifestyle.

  You are celebrities who have met celebrities! Tell us who you were most
excited to meet?We have not really met many celebrities yet….they probably don’t stop by Boston often but we were excited to meet Dr. Dre, Actress Nia Long, Richard T Jones, Dr. Bobby Jones of BET Gospel and Jada Pinkett Smith. Our older sister has met way more than us, she was part of an Ensemble that sang for Lionel Richie and John Legend, she’s also met Shakira, Venus Williams, Blair Underwood, President George W Bush, Philicia Rashad of Cosby show, Cecily Tyson, Chef Marcus Samuelsson and many more.    Performing at BET's Bobby Jones Gospel Show   With Dr. Bobby Jones    Oladunni and Olayeni with Jada Pinkett-Smith    With jazz saxophonist Elan Trotman

with gospel recording artist Deon Kipping
What should we be expecting from you in the future?

We are excited to be going back to the studio in February 2014 to record a brand new single written by our second sister, Olaitan. We will also be doing a cover of Tye Tribbett song called, “What Can I Do”. We hope to continue doing well, work hard and we are thankful for all those that have supported us so far.
Doing their thing in the studio
What advise will you give particularly young people who are yet to identify their passion?Be open to different types of experiences.  For those who have and don’t know next steps - always have the right mindset and don’t allow negative people in.
 These are two sisters to look out for.Watch out world! (And might I also add girl power! I am so, so proud)  To learn more about the Oladipo Sister visit their website – www.oladiposisters.com face book page:  https://www.facebook.com/oladiposisters Radio show - www.rootsradiolove.com (airs every Saturday at 5pm with a repeat broadcast on Sunday at 4pm).  

Spotlight - Path to Greatness

We feed off each other. Not literally, but feeding off based on what we see, what and how we feel, and who we constantly relate to and socialize with. I determined that this year, I’m feeding off  exclusively on  the positive -  positive vibes and positive people. My theme this year is “all things positive”.
So I’m excited to be starting off the year by spotlighting individuals, groups and organizations that inspire others to walk their own path of greatness.  When you read their life journey – how they started, and their journey to date – I know you will be inspired to keep walking your path to greatness no matter how steep it might be at the moment.  It will level out eventually. And remember, the journey is a necessary molding exercise  into the person God intended you to be.  As someone I know stated, “you can't skip any stage of your life, it's all part of the molding process into a better you.”After reading their stories, I know you will be inspired to live your best life.  Look out for the first spotlight next week. 

Very excited! 

In My Stiletto Heels

               I hardly wear stiletto heels unlike some of my friends, (nothing against them, in fact, more power to them) but I knew I would catch your attention.   Now that I have, here goes. 
2014.  The unknown that we all talked about last year.  It seemed far away, but here we are, already riding the gentle waves.  They are still gentle aren’t they? January always seems to be the calmest of the months.  We get fooled into thinking the rest of the year will be just like that.  Brace yourself; it’s going to get interesting.  The year’s going to unravel with pleasant surprises, what appears to be setbacks, and manifestations of hard work you put in last year and maybe prior years.
I brace myself for the unknown by taking away lessons learned from the past year.  Take a walk with me now.
·         God comes first. He knows the end from the beginning.  Best to have him in your corner when the waves gain momentum.
·         Family comes next.  At the end of the day, they are still your most tangible legacy.  Whatever you’re running after is meaningless without them.
·         Be happy for others when good things happen to them.  It doesn’t take anything away from you or what’s coming to you.  What is yours is yours.
·         You can accomplish anything you put your mind to do.  All it takes planning, organizing, surrounding yourself with the right people, taking action, sleeping less hours and your secret ingredient (LOL). 
·         Some things are just common sense.  No need wrestling for hours, days, weeks or months over a decision.  Just do it.
·         There will always be a thorn in your flesh.  It was designed to be there to keep you on your toes and remind you that you are after all, human. 
·         Things happen, always have a back-up plan.
·         Never close your mind off to any idea, explore it for a second. Don’t abandon it without reason.
·         Keep yourself open to new friendships and associations; you will be surprised at what a simple ‘hi’ can do. True, long-lasting friendships have come out of them.
·         When compelled to express yourself (in a positive way), let yourself go.  My aha moments have been at such times.
·         Live every moment like it’s your last ‘cos you never know. What are your take-aways from 2013?     Here’s to our best year yet! 


 



                     

Take on the world

It’s been a year and a day since Thread of Gold Beads was published.  I still pinch myself sometimes.  I wonder why it took such a long time to publish.  I’ve mentioned that ‘life got in the way,’ yeah, because I let it get in the way.  When I actually determined that I would have it rewritten, edited and published, it took about a year.  Through my writing, I’ve opened forum for others interested in writing and publishing to come forward to ask how they can do it, encouraged people to go after what they want, and asked the more challenging question of what they really want out of life and who they really are called to be. 
Have you figured out who you are yet?  Maybe still searching, looking for affirmation in someone else?  Waiting for someone to tell you who you are when God already did?  Maybe you already knew it long ago but waiting for yet another confirmation?  Wait no more.
You are Esther who made up her mind to be used by God.
You are Moses who declared he was one with God and the minority,
You are David who seemed inconsequential to his family, but ended up being the savior of his people
He sees you more than you see yourself. Now, take  a deep breath and .....  Take on the World

If it were left to you Would you not do it? Take on the world? Be the last defense? Against injustice, Against hopelessness Against desolation Take on today Like you were In someone’s eyes You are Advocate Defender Protector Take on the world

Nike Campbell-Fatoki © 2013  Boldogkőváralja, Hungary

FEAR

“So first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
This was one of the most memorable parts of President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s inaugural presidential speech. I could quote it even before I knew who said it.  President Roosevelt came into office when the US was in recession; a very bleak time in the country.  I’m sure he was tempted to sweeten his speech with sentimental words or paint a rosy picture, a façade of the nation at the time…. but it would be false.   Fear forces us to twist the truth, become who we are not, often leading to a slow, excruciating death of who we were called to be.  How often have we lied to ourselves and others for fear of facing the truth? Better to face fear in the face than hide behind lies.  We are stronger when we face the fear.    


Fear of the dark
Gremlins, goblins, ghosts
Hiding, whispering, plotting
In my head, in my dreams
They live, breathe, take over
 
Fear of the sea
Lady of the lake, Loreley, Leviathan,
Hypnotizing, alluring, killing
In my thoughts, in my wake
They wait, fester, consume
 
Fear of the past
Bad decisions, bitter memories
Harrowing, taunting, crippling
In my present, in my head
They infringe, whisper, suffocate
 
Fear of people
Rogues, robbers, reapers
Hating scheming, lying
In my view, in my space
They hover, surround, multiply.  
 
Fear of who I have become
Reborn, redeemed, receptive
Living, loving, learning
In my footsteps, in my shadow,  
They retreat, quiver, disappear
 
Fear of the future
Unstoppable, Unreadable, Unpredictable
Advancing, ascending, acknowledging
In His image, in His presence
They watch, in disbelief, denial
 
Fear. No more.     Nike Campbell-Fatoki © 2013(picture courtesy of www.technorati.com)