Qais Ghanem's Blog - Posts Tagged "honour-and-shame"

I must thank you for the wonderful present you gave me…your book! I thoroughly enjoyed Qais Ghanemreading it!

The book is really fabulous illuminating the various facets of Yemeni social life.. customs, traditions, rites, sexual perversions etc. and also the corrupt political, judicial and administrative systems prevailing in the country. All these have been illustrated in humorous and witty style with sexual references that enhance its appeal. The book is very revealing of the secrets and lifestyle of the Yemenis and would be of immense value to all those who wish to go to Yemen.

I hope that the Book is publicized in the Hollywood circles and I am sure some producers would find it appealing and produce a movie based on the fascinating anecdotes in the mysterious Yemen.
- See more at: http://dialoguewithdiversity.com/book...

With the unfolding of recent dramatic political events in the Middle East I was intrigued by this new novel. It began on a relatively easy to assimilate mode. People who had been in failed relationships met in light-hearted social settings in Canada . All very believable. A few social encounters involving the central character gave a human element to a very Qais Ghanemhuman passion. The almost casual nature of the events laid a solid basis for less pleasant events in subsequent chapters. The very real commercial nature of the sale of medical technology to Yemen lead the main character to some unpleasant realities of middle east life in some communities. Without giving away the riveting final chapter I can say that it provokes people of all backgrounds to revisit and examine the way some women are marginalized in this part of the world. In light of the new role of social networking in some oppressed countries this book is very topical and provocative. Dr Ghanem ‘s uncompromising insight, as a man who came from this part of the world, is a breath of fresh air .
Dr_Michael_Pilon

Qais GhanemHe covered most of the social behaviors in Yemen and was unbiased in addressing and comparing western and Arab societies particularly that in Yemen. I believe ethical standards are the same in all societies, but socially acquired behavior varies from society to society, and therefore determines norms.

Being a Yemeni woman raised in conservative society, I must say some of the sex scenes seemed daring, and yet they were provocative and interesting. Indeed Yemeni women　have always been, and still are oppressed　and　restrained in showing their feelings, related to sex and relations, due to lack of knowledge, education and mostly family restriction and customs. It is a completely male dominated society, though some men claim that they are gender oriented and believe in equality and equity but they are far away from such orientation.

The chapter which described the rape of of his classmate’s daughter touched me so much and brought memories of a rape attempt during my childhood. I regret to say that a good number of women go through such horrific experience. Women/girls cannot report or speak about such incidents. Ghanem illustrated the scenes of chapter 10 and the following chapters (the old classmate daughter and the following arrest and jail) without any exaggeration, for these scenes happen in reality.

There is no doubt that Ghanem showed his deep perception of both societies. I admired Dr. Tariq’s compassionate manner, humor, cynicism and gentleness; which I believe reflect Ghanem’s own true character.
- See more at: http://dialoguewithdiversity.com/fina...

Qais Ghanem It is by taking note of books like Final Flight From Sanaa and authors like Qais Ghanem who blaze the trail and fearlessly begin the dialogue.

During the last few decades I have read many books written by fellow Muslims.

But few of them deal with the issue of sexuality among Muslims and how the sexual attitudes of Muslims affect their human rights and their self-determination both in Muslim communities here in the West and in Muslim countries.

Final Flight From Sanaa scans the issue and I commend its author, Qais Ghanem for having the courage to cover the topic. One hopes that Final Flight from Sanaa, will open up a series of discussions on the issue of sexuality among Muslims.

The book’s main protagonist, Tariq, is a secular Muslim, a divorced physician and poet, in his sixties and he is engaged in the world around him – both in his personal life and his activism.

We learn much about Tariq in the book, particularly from his openly expressed views on politics and women.

From his many generalizations and opinions we learn he is not perfect. He does not have perfectly politically correct egalitarian views and makes many uncomfortable generalizations, particularly about women.

But all fictitious characters have a right to their own view point and in reality there are other Tariq's out there. After all even secular Muslims are not a monolith. How Muslim communities here in the West and in Muslim countries as well, consist of a variety of individuals with diverse thoughts and behaviour, is something this book, hopefully, will leave within the reader some understanding.

Through Tariq’s eyes, in Final Flight From Sanaa the reader envisions a brief intimate sketch of people raised and/or living in closed societies, where sexuality is reserved for marriage so rigidly that the consequence of rape exceeds that of any other brutal assault, forever removing the possibility to live a normal married life as well.

The book proposes the notion that coming from a closed society may in some instances mean it is hard to abandon old sexual practices out of fear but on the other hand, it does not always mean an individual shall be unavailable to a variety of sexual experiences.

The book is sexually explicit in parts and challenged my own puritanism.

My senses were shocked at some of the descriptions of sexual acts, not due to an encapsulated environment (as many of us are bombarded by sexualized media images) but possibly because Final Flight From Sanaa was a candid snapshot of sexuality among Muslims in particular.

I am not accustomed to reading about Muslims enjoying consensual sex, including anal sex, oral sex and threesomes. Unfortunately, the rape scene was the one that did not shock me.

A Final Flight From Sanaa, like its protagonist, is not perfect. It leaves many questions unanswered. In the end – who is saved and why? Who is the rescuer and why? And is there sufficient depth to any female character in this book?

But it is my hope that notwithstanding these issues one can read the book and still see clearly what it proposes to address – intolerance, sexism, lack of information, lack of openness – much of which is proposed to be due to a rigid interpretation of our holy scriptures.

Final Flight From Sanaa begs the question – are people in Muslim communities so consumed with the status that originates from honour and/or shame that they are living secret double lives?

And how much does a radical Islamic ideology that provides that the source of all evil is a woman’s sexuality, make all Muslims vulnerable to what Muslim governments can do to Muslims in Muslim countries?

How much does such an ideology hinder us here at home, in the West, for example in our ability to stop domestic violence and forced marriages – both of which have much to do with honour and shame as it relates to a woman’s obedience and a woman’s purity?

Final Flight From Sanaa is a starting point and in it Qais Ghanem begins a candid discussion about what is happening to Muslims and how our fears about sexuality aid Muslim governments in their oppression of us and aid in the marginalization of people in our own communities here in the West.

In the end it is an examination of the way women’s freedoms and the freedom of their husbands, fathers and brothers and friends are restricted not only in Muslim countries but everywhere honour and shame are an issue.

How do we achieve a more open Muslim community, in which people are respected – particularly women and not defined by their sexual purity? - See more at: http://dialoguewithdiversity.com/fina...

Final Flight From Sanaa

Qais Ghanem Author Qais Ghanem challenged the way I read books, chiefly Final Flight from Sanaa. Perhaps with my young age came my youthful thoughts of cultural taboos and rituals that were intact with my Islamic beliefs – almost allowing me cautiously to reject reading an Islamic book that discussed intimate and sexual details experienced by Muslim characters. That was the challenge; how was I able to continue reading explicit details when everything read went against what I believed was noble? Or so I thought.
Little did I know.

Final Flight from Sanaa was the most intriguing story I have ever read. It discussed topics way above sexuality; and once my sciolism was stripped away, I was able to see clear that the accurate and realistic elements challenge the suppressed ideas one holds against Islam.

Rather, I found myself dodging questions about religion, sexuality, and the rituals of the Islamic scripture, almost in defiance, because the true essence of what I was reading was to some effect offensive rather than pleasant. It is almost always the duty of every Muslim, I thought, to debate issues presented in a humiliating manner when Islam is discussed on the table. Luckily, that would be challenged, not by an author covering a topic he was not familiar with, but descriptively by one who originated from the deep roots of Islamic and Arabian culture, bringing with age and years of education wisdom and insight to the most controversial topics of all time- Sexuality and Religion.

It is a compare and contrast, experienced by many Muslims who immigrate to foreign countries, learning to accustom their thoughts and beliefs to the nation’s conduct of behaviour, essentially learning productive liberalism. Tariq, the aged doctor and expert in life, brings the reader through a conventional ride when he experiences culture shock even when returning to his homeland of Yemen. With Tariq you learn to sympathize, when important questions are raised like honour and religion, and the oppression of cultural regimes and lack of political freedoms are examined. Inequality is examined, between men and women and all the right inquiry detailing these liberties- of course by all means outlining the double-standards.

It becomes clear what democracy entails, and what the true definition of this popular word really holds. To Tariq and the friends he made along the way, they are life lessons – each experienced personally in his or her own way. One begins to see the spirit of this individual, and how simple his thoughts and actions really are. How religion is interpreted to satisfy one’s own definitions of right and wrong, and how extremism is indeed corrupting society, allowing people to lash out against their own flesh and blood. Especially during the Arab revolutions of today, where each politically conveyed chapter from the book goes deep into your imagination of the practicality of real life situations. Justice was drawn upon, and I salute Qais Ghanem for not leaving this important topic go unobserved.

Aside from the political and religious features of this book, Qais Ghanem’s own medical education helped in asserting him with the correct knowledge of the character’s (Tariq) profession in this field. Reading along, one is informed of Dr. Ghanem’s own medical wisdom. The brief mention of historic battles and quotes drawn from significant icons such as Mohandas Gandhi, add an informative session surely making it a dialogue with diversity.

Thankfully, the humour inserted from time to time keeps this book light in its nature. Dr. Ghanem`s attentiveness to detail is especially amusing; everything from the clothing to the atmosphere to the destinations are detailed to the depth of element, as if you are there. The language is basic and easy to follow; and the events of the book unfold systematically, allowing you to never lose track or re-read!

Most importantly, Final Flight from Sanaa began long and heated discussions between my friends and me circulating topics about religion and dictatorships. It allowed me to experience a different journey, a liberated one, full of wisdom and perception. With much brag, this book has been requested by many of those who surround me. I hope that you too, go out and experience this alluring, fulfilled, and stimulating challenge.
- See more at: http://dialoguewithdiversity.com/fina...

A good read spanning may years and experiences. Almost prophetic in regard to the Arab Spring and recent events in Yemen. Intricate stroy telling offering a feast of the hUmerous as well as the very serious. It reminded me very much of a mature poignant Baratha’s “My God Died Young” but in uniquely Qais’ master story telling. It deserves wider readership by translation into Arabic. - See more at: http://dialoguewithdiversity.com/brit...Qais Ghanem