Phillip Van Hooser's Blog: Build Performance Blog, page 5

Good Boss, Bad Boss: What Do Your People REALLY Think?

[Watch the Video]

With a few minutes to kill, I Googled the term, “bad bosses.” Want to guess how many results that little two-word search yielded?

Two million, one hundred, forty thousand -- and change!

Searching just a bit further, I discovered even more valuable information. I found:

bad bosses on TVbad boss storiesand why bad bosses are bad for your health.

I also learned there are:

6 bad boss types8 things bad bosses say and10 signs indicating you MIGHT have a bad boss.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had bad bosses, and it didn’t take me 10 signs to figure that out!

We ALL Have Bosses

First, let’s get one thing straight. Most of us have bosses. I’ve owned my business for 35+ years. Yet during that time, I’ve had many bosses — hundreds, in fact. Every time I’m hired to give a speech or lead a training program, I get a new boss.

Thankfully, the vast majority of them are wonderful to work with. Knowledgeable, well-prepared, and respectful of others. They’re good communicators, capable decision-makers, and patient teachers.

But what about those double Bs -- the “bad bosses”?

On a lark, I once asked an audience to share words describing former GOOD bosses.

Their words, frankly, were good!

Words like: trustworthy, caring, dedicated, and consistent.

But when I then invited the group to share words describing bad bosses they’d known…. WOW!!

I wasn’t ready for that. Actual words I recorded that day include:

spoiled, scatter-brained, two-faced, clueless, wormy, and after that it got downright insulting.

I’m seriously tempted to share the other actual examples, but I can’t. They were just too profane. If I did, I’d be scared to death my mom would watch this episode!

So why are bad bosses bad? Obviously, there’s no one right answer.

They could have one huge glaring problem or a dozen smaller ones that cumulatively add up to create a bad boss.

Though impossible to say definitively what makes a boss go bad, there are two common criteria that certainly play a part.

2 Things That Make a Bad Boss

#1: IGNORANCE breeds bad bosses.

Ignorance is lacking information, knowledge and/or understanding. Ignorance is certainly bad. But worse is boss ignorance… with no effort or intention to correct the problem.

Even bad bosses can get better when they strive to gather information, expand their knowledge, and broaden their understanding.

When employees see their boss striving to improve, they recognize the performance bar is being raised. More often than not, their own efforts shift into a higher gear, as well.

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#2: SELFISHNESS breeds bad bosses.

Sadly, bad bosses are some of the most selfish people I’ve ever met. Their primary concern is for the man or woman they see in the mirror, not the employees who look to them for direction and guidance.

Good Advice From A Good Boss

One of the earliest lessons I learned as a young boss myself was taught by one of the best bosses I’ve ever known.

He once told me,

“The good boss is one who intentionally takes a little MORE than his share of the blame, but a little LESS than his share of the credit.

But the bad boss is one who intentionally takes a little LESS than his share of the blame, but a little MORE than his share of the credit."

It was a simple lesson, that had a lasting impact. But, it’s not really about me. It’s all about you.

Good boss or bad boss?

Do you know what your people are really thinking, and do you care enough to do something about it?

~ Phillip Van Hooser

Photo by Vanessa Garcia

How to Build Employee Confidence

"How do I get my team to STEP UP, TAKE INITIATIVE, and BE MORE CONFIDENT? I'm just not sure how to build employee confidence." I get asked all the time by executive leaders -- even just last week -- so I'm quickly sharing with you what I encouraged a business owner to do recently. I hope this message proves helpful for you and your team as well.

[Watch the Video]

REMEMBER -- there's no one-size-fits-all, step-by-step, black-and-white process for exactly how to shift the internal motivation for all employees to transform how they think, act, and perform. Instead, the workforce is incredibly diverse and it requires a customized approach to build employee confidence.

In our business world, your greatest competitive advantage is YOU -- the human element. Your ability to get to know your employees SO WELL that you know EXACTLY what to say and do to engage them in a way that empowers their consistent top performance and long-term commitment...that's leadership success. I want that to be your story! Check out the video for more details on how to build employee confidence effectively!

Photo by Kindel Media

Leaders, Be Specific About Bad Behavior

Great leaders have learned to be specific when addressing bad behavior. Here's why taking a "you know who you are" approach can backfire.

[Watch the Video]

See if this scenario sounds familiar.

The boss schedules a rare department-wide meeting. At 1:00 pm, everyone is to be in the Conference Room.

In the lead-up to the meeting, there’s plenty of water cooler whispering, guessing, and hand wringing. 

Only one thing is clear. No one knows what the meeting is about.

Eventually, the time arrives and all department members are present and accounted for. Tension hangs thick in the air.

At 1:00 pm sharp, the boss strides into the room. Her demeanor is unmistakable. There’s a problem. She pauses momentarily before launching purposefully into her prepared comments.

“I’ve been checking department attendance records and I’m NOT pleased.

You Know Who You Are... Maybe, Maybe Not

“A couple of you -- YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE -- have missed far too many days this year ... it’s unacceptable -- AND IT’S GONNA STOP!”

She’s on a roll. Her tongue lashing increases in intensity and duration yet, little does she recognize the damage being done.

And, unfortunately, for this unsuspecting boss, the damage is primarily self-inflicted.

Why Leaders Need to Be Specific About Bad Behavior

Leaders, let's talk about the need to be specific about bad behavior. To be specific represents an important leadership concept, and it means to have something “clearly defined or identified.”

Do you think the boss knew specifically who was having attendance problems?

Of course, she did! She had access to the attendance records. She’d heard complaints -- either directly or indirectly -- from supervisors and employees alike. She knew exactly which employees were missing too much work. But for some reason, she didn’t want to confront them directly. 

So, rather than confront the real offenders, she chose to blame the entire team, hoping that her broad message would hit her specific target.

Foolish choice. It’s one that rarely, if ever, works.

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How Not Being Specific Backfires

Here’s why.

The employees with bad attendance knew their individual records sucked. But they’d never been confronted. Now listening to the boss’s comments, they begin to think, 

“Maybe I’ve gotten a pass for some reason. Maybe she doesn’t even know it’s me that is the problem.”

Therefore, no motivational foundation is established for future improvement in their personal attendance. I can accurately predict that it will be the “same ol’, same ol’” in the future. 

The employees with GOOD attendance records, on the other hand, their personal motivation is plummeting. They had made sure they were at work on time, every day. And now what does it get them? The boss apparently doesn’t even know who the poor attenders are.

They begin to think, 

“Now I’m getting a butt chewing?! Does she think I’m the problem?! What a crock!”

You know, that’s really not good. So what is there to do?

It’s pretty simple actually.

What the Great Leaders Know

The great leaders -- the great communicators -- among us, don’t look forward to difficult conversations any more than the rest of us do. But the great leaders have learned a lesson that has apparently eluded the others.

They know that “Bad news does not get better with time.” If a problem needs to be addressed, the best time to do so is now — not a week, a month, or a year from now.

Secondly, when preparing to confront any issue or problem, a good leader makes sure they can be specific about who’s at fault and who isn’t. They then methodically and specifically, deal directly with those involved.

They know to be specific about what is expected regarding future performance and then hold them accountable.

Leaders are best respected when they are focused, rather than unfocused. 

Say it with me, "Leaders, be specific."

Need Help with Communication and Confrontation Management? Check out Sessions 4, 5, and 8 in our Leadership Development Program. Photo by Canva

Are You REALLY Engaging Your Employees?

Have you mistaken engaging your employees for simply involving employees? Let's look at the difference between the two and the vastly different results leaders get when they fall for this common misconception.

[Watch the Video]

Great employee engagement is built on the nuances of everyday interactions with your team. For today's purposes, I simply want to make sure you don't fall into the trap of mistaking INVOLVING an employee for effectively ENGAGING an employee. Those are two totally different realities that will reap you entirely different results.

It is 2023, and I have four kids now… and if there is something I need to do around the house, I'll ask my oldest two – Willow and Lincoln – to play with Duke, their younger brother. Of course, they LOVE when I ask them to do that – NOT… But, they do it.

Nowadays, it works really well, but early on, WOOO… there were some challenges. And it wasn't because of their young age, it was because Willow and Lincoln THOUGHT they were engaging Duke, but in reality… they were getting ENGAGEMENT all wrong.

Engaging Your Employees All Wrong

You, as a leader, might think you are correctly engaging employees, but what if you're getting it all wrong?!

All the kids in our house love playing with Legos… so when the older kids are on "Duke Duty" – playing Legos it is! Imagine my house back in the day for a moment, three kids seated at the long farmhouse table in the dining room with thousands of Legos spread out on the table. They play for a while. At first, Duke was just happy to be invited to the table to play with the older kids. After a while, he looks over and sees the cool stuff they're building and asks if he could help them.

In response, the older kids rallied around Duke – encouraging him… saying things like, "Duke, what you're building is amazing! Keep up the good work! We can't wait to see what else you can accomplish!" They probably genuinely meant their nice comments… but ULTIMATELY WHAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT to them was that they didn't want Duke to mess up what they were doing or have to take the time to teach him to do it right if they let him build with them.

The "Encouragement" Approach

That "encouragement approach" worked for a while, but eventually… it lost its luster for ol' Duke… he wanted to be a part of something bigger and better…

When everyone is just about finished building, Duke has emerged with a nice tall tower of all blue blocks. He is proud of that! Willow and Lincoln, on the other hand, they're older, more experienced… they have more knowledge… better skills… and they're now putting the finishing touches on their MUCH MORE elaborate structure.

Duke looks over at their work… and he is frustrated… he has had enough… he has finished his work, they've just about finished theirs, and he realizes he has had no meaningful part of building the coolest structure on the table.

Do you know what happens when a frustrated three-year-old sees a new, tall, freshly built multi-story house his brother and sister just created without him? Well, I can tell you he doesn't stand back in awe, saying WOW, that's amazing!

Quite the opposite actually.

Picture Duke... a frustrated 3ft. tall threenager ….. on level eleven………… he jumps onto the dining table, walks over… and using his arm like Thor's hammer BOOOMM  SSSSHHHHHHHHsSSSHHHHH!!!

Lego pieces come crashing down under the force of a toddler on a mission. And without fail, the next sound I hear in older sibling unison is, "MOM!" Immediately I know what's happened. Willow and Lincoln have INVOLVED Duke, but they have not ENGAGED Duke.

Involving vs. Engaging Your Employees

If YOU are only INVOLVING your employees, but not ENGAGING them, there may come a time when things seem to be going fine, but someone's frustration peaks. Now they may never stand on a table and destroy all the work you've done. But they may look around …………………. PAUSE……………………….. and make a decision right then and there that because they've only been involved and never truly engaged by leaders, never truly brought in to do MEANINGFUL work for the organization… they might decide to quit and leave – or worse – quit and stay.

I don't want that to be your story. I don't want your best employees to give up or leave.

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Go back and picture my kids at the table. The leaders at the table, Willow and Lincoln, are sitting at one end of the table and are building something with each other. Duke, on the other hand, is sitting at the same table, maybe even on the same side, but Duke is very much building by himself.

Tired of Being on the "Outside"

They're not asking Duke what he wants or seeking his input, welcoming his questions, stopping to teach, allowing him to TRY to help. Why? Because THAT WOULD TAKE WAYYYY TOO MUCH TIME, HE ISN'T OLD ENOUGH, HE HASN'T BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH. hmph… Duke is involved in the work, but he doesn't have a meaningful part of it. Eventually, Duke gets tired of being on the outside.

Your best employees will, too. DON'T MAKE EMPLOYEES BUILD BESIDE YOU. INSTEAD LET THEM BUILD WITH YOU. Invest the time, energy, and resources into training them effectively, developing their skills, invite them to try, and yes, welcome failure. Then walk WITH them through the fire, through the learning process to make mistakes, learn from them, and execute more successfully going forward. That's leadership. That's employee engagement that breeds loyalty and high performance. THAT'S WHERE YOU'LL SEE YOUR BIGGEST RETURN ON INVESTMENT AS A LEADER…. and I want that for you!

I want to encourage you to take a sober look at your team today. Ask yourself who do I need to engage better going forward? And then do it! Know that I'm wishing you huge success as you work to get employee engagement exactly right!

Helping You Engage Your People Is What We Do. Let's Get Started!

Photo by Kevin Jarrett

Why & How to Empower Employees

Should you empower employees? Only if you want to build a nimble business. Let me explain.

[Watch the Video]

My professional journey began with the dawning of the 1980s. And what a volatile time it was!

For example, history records that the U.S. inflation rate peaked at 14.76% in April 1980. Correspondingly, the Fed Fund Interest rate skyrocketed to an almost unbelievable TWENTY PERCENT that same year!

By 1982, the United States was mired in the worst recession since the Great Depression of the 1930s. Massive numbers of businesses, farms, and homes were lost due to default or foreclosure.

Unemployment soared to a national average of 10.8%, with some individual states exceeding a 16% unemployment rate. And just when it looked like things couldn’t get any worse — they did!

In 1987, the world’s financial barometer — the U.S. stock market — it crashed, and with it, exporting fear and uncertainty around the globe.

And that’s the period in which yours truly — Phillip Van Hooser — began his supervisory, then managerial career.

Opportunities Out of Mayhem

Interestingly, I learned that even in the midst of business misfortune and professional mayhem opportunities to learn and grow, still exist.

Fortunately, forward-looking leaders existed then, as now. Leaders committed to not only surviving perilous times — but to building sustainable businesses, prepared and equipped to thrive in any business environment. But building versatile, adaptable, responsive businesses requires enlisting and harvesting the creativity, imagination, and brain power of every employee — at every level.

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In many ways, the economic desperation of the 1980s provided a much-needed, long-overdue jump start to empowering employees as never before.

Understanding Power & Empowerment

To fully understand the concept of empowerment, one must begin by accepting — POWER — the root word from which empowerment is derived.

Consider this definition.

Power in practice is essentially the ability to grant, withhold or withdraw something someone wants or needs.

Simply put, if someone must ask your permission — you have the power to grant, withhold or withdraw that which is being requested. Of course, there’s more — much more — that could be said about the proper — and improper — use of power. But today our focus is EMPOWERMENT.

So consider this related definition.

Empowerment is the practical process of willingly and knowingly — granting one’s official power to another.

The Key to Empower Employees

Forward-thinking leaders are quick to recognize the many benefits associated with empowered employees.

But many don't know where to start. And others still wonder if “the squeeze is worth the juice.”

At the heart of any successful empowerment initiative is trust. Before you, me, or anyone — can freely empower another, we must trust the person’s level of commitment to be consistent with our own.

We must trust the person to be adequately educated, trained, skilled, and motivated to make and implement quality decisions.

And we must trust that the person’s objectives are rightly aligned with those of the organization. If and when sufficient levels of trust are established, empowerment can become a reality.

However, if or when trust is absent — empowerment is more a mental exercise than a practical reality. 

How to Get Started

So how can you get from here to there?

PREPARE. SHARE. DECLARE.

Enlightened leaders seek out opportunities to PREPARE those around them.

Once adequately prepared, enlightened leaders willingly SHARE their vested power with individuals mentally and emotionally ready to accept the challenges ahead.

Finally, once the power has been shared, enlightened leaders proudly and definitively DECLARE their support and confidence in their trusted — and now empowered — employees.

I once heard someone say that “tough times don’t last — but tough people do.”

The 1980s taught me something different.

I learned the tougher the times, the more necessary to empower employees.

Power. Trust. Preparation. Communication. Empowerment. These are concepts leaders should know — and practice.

Helping You Empower Your People Is What We Do. Let's Get Started!

Photo by ThisIsEngineering

Roll Up Your Sleeves: Growing You & Your Team

If you have a goal to achieve and a stronger team to build, the only foolproof way to ensure you make forward progress is to roll up your sleeves. Here's what I mean.

When I was in my early 20s, I remember a job being posted inside the organization where I worked, and it was a job that I wanted! I felt like I needed this job in order to continue my upward trajectory in the organization, to achieve my ultimate goal.

[Watch this story.]

So, just imagine... I came in with guns blazing, probably a little bit too hot! And I walked right up to the CEO's office and told him,

"I see this job has been posted, I want it."

And he very kindly said,

"Okay, Alyson, cool your jets, go back to your office, we'll talk about this tomorrow."

Come 8:35, and down the stairs comes the CEO, and he walks right into my office. He shuts the door behind him like the universal sign for "this is serious, we're going to talk about something important." And I'm thinking,

"Yes, that job that I want, you're here to give it to me, to appoint me to that position."

Earned, Not Given

So, I start listening as he begins talking and he says,

"Alyson, you're the most qualified person for this position in the organization, and I think it would be great for you as far as the career path you want here. But here's the deal: I'm not going to appoint you to that position until you make things right with Karen."

As soon as he said this, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

Karen and I didn't get along very well. We were like oil and water. I mean, there was never any yelling or screaming or fist blows or anything like that. But everybody could tell that we didn't get along.

Our Problem Is the Team's Problem

And when that dynamic exists on a team, it's not good for anybody.

So when the CEO said,

"I'm not going to give you this position until you make things right with Karen," internally there was a part of me that was screaming, "This isn't fair. I shouldn't have to. This is her problem."

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He said he knows it was her issue, but he also said he knew she wouldn't fix it. I remember being really frustrated.

Choose Your Response

But I also know that leaders remain emotionally controlled. Leaders don't lose their temper. We don't just go off.

So, I sat there emotionally controlled and I listened, and I told him I would take action to remedy the issue.

That night, I went to bed planning how I'm going to have this incredibly difficult conversation with Karen, to make sure that we both leave the conversation moving forward together. For my good, but also for her good and for the good of the team.

Make This Good for Everyone

That's where my focus was. Making this good for everyone.

Because that's what leadership is all about. At the end of the day, it's not about what we can get. If we focus more on what we can give, and how we can help others, then I believe success has a way of finding us.

The next day, Karen and I have this hard conversation. (That's a whole story for another time!) But we had this conversation, and we moved forward better together.

I learned early on that you can't always control your circumstances. Life may not always be fair, but you have a decision to make. You can roll your eyes or roll up your sleeves. And only one of those gets you results.

Roll Your Eyes or Roll Up Your Sleeves

So today, whatever situation you find yourself in, if there's a goal you want to achieve, something you're after, make sure that your focus is a win-win-win outcome.

And I want to encourage you to step up, own it, take action, roll up your sleeves, get to work, make life better for you, for your team, and help everybody be more successful going forward.

That's leadership, and I believe that's what makes all the work worth it at the end of the day!

Executive & Team Leadership Development, Perspective-Shifting Keynotes. How Can I Help You?

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Lack Confidence? Here’s How to Overcome It

I begin today by posing a really important question. Do you know someone -- a family member, friend, co-worker, boss, subordinate -- who has failed to reach their full professional potential for no other apparent reason than they lack confidence in themselves and their abilities?

If so, it’s sad to witness, isn’t it?

But while I’m at it, let me ask an even more personal question.

Did I possibly describe you?

Have YOU ever struggled with the personal confidence needed to succeed or maybe even try something new and different in the first place? 

If so, think back. How did you feel then? Was it a pleasant, rewarding experience? Probably not.

Far too many people lack confidence -- even aspiring leaders. As such, it serves as a leadership obstacle that needs to be identified, addressed, and overcome.

To tackle this problem, you must first realize there is only one thing that will serve to build confidence in any human being. But before I share that one thing, I want to share three things that some people THINK will make them more confident -- but they won’t.

[Prefer to watch the video?]

3 Things That Don't Build Confidence

First, confidence is NOT established as a result of EDUCATION alone.

Intense study, yielding advanced degrees will certainly help broaden one’s understanding of a specific subject area. But education alone will not sufficiently build a person’s level of confidence.

Second, confidence is NOT established as a result of EFFORT alone. We all know many truly industrious people who work long and hard but continue to be unsuccessful in developing ever higher levels of personal confidence.

Finally, confidence is NOT established as a result of REPETITION alone. Doing something repeatedly may create a personal comfort level forged in familiarity. But the repetition of one task won’t necessarily transfer confidence to new and different tasks.

So, then, if EDUCATION, EFFORT, and REPETITION are NOT the magic potions guaranteed to build personal confidence, what is the ONE THING that will allow you or me to soar confidently while others quake in their boots?

The 1 Thing That DOES Build Confidence

That ONE THING? It’s SUCCESS. Simple, garden variety success.

Think about it. With every acknowledged success in life — large or small — the confidence in ourselves, our abilities, and our potential momentarily, at least, soars.

While basking in the warm afterglow of some recognized personal success, our confidence levels will naturally be at their highest peak. 

It’s in those fleeting moments that our minds expand. That’s when we’re most open to new opportunities and trying new things. So, to intentionally prolong those heightened levels of confidence, we must consciously focus on the successes that got us where we are. 

An Exercise If You Lack Confidence

For practical purposes, here’s an activity for you.

Make a list of all your past noteworthy accomplishments. No success is too large or small to be captured. 

Include past successes from grade school, high school, and college. Don’t overlook your successful experiences in sports, volunteer, and extracurricular activities. 

And, of course, capture every success imaginable from your past work experiences.

From Day 1 to the present include all successes involving projects, people, and promotions.

Once you’ve developed your comprehensive list of broad-based successes, then it’s time to note what you’ve learned or gained from each. 

Questions to Ask Yourself

Ask yourself questions like:

What new talent did I discover?

Is there a  new skill I learned or developed? What relationship was I able to expand?

Finally, looking forward, honestly ask yourself if you’re currently utilizing all these tools at your disposal.

If not, why not?

Remember, success breeds success.

Yesterday’s successes can and will provide the confidence necessary for today, which in turn will serve as the springboard for growth and success in the future.

Does your team need help building their leadership confidence and skills? That's what we do. Learn more now.

Photo by Wolrider YURTSEVEN

Know THEIR Story: How to Help Others Dream Bigger

On the school bus, I’d always grab the window seat, if I could. Looking out past someone’s greasy forehead print on the glass as we drove by neighborhoods, that’s where I’d dream about my future. Every day as we passed by Hillview Court, I’d think, One day I want to live THERE…in Hillview Court.

Picturing a country club or mansion?

Hillview Court is low-income government housing. That was my dream.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Goodness, dream bigger!”

Do You Know Their Story?

Honestly, if you knew my story, then you’d know I was aspiring to live somewhere that had electricity, water, and was safe. As a child, I just KNEW Hillview Court HAD to be safe because city police cars were around constantly.

As I’m listening to a client, an executive, talk about being frustrated that some people on the team won’t step up, speak up, seize opportunities, and so on… IMMEDIATELY, my mind flashes to me on that school bus… loads of potential and full of *miniature* dreams… and I can’t help but be reminded that the biggest shifts in my life happened because of the actions of someone else… myriad people who unknowingly built “Infinite Influence” with me and it helped transform how I thought, took action, and moved forward in my life.

Why Their Story Matters to You

Do you want an employee to think, take action, and move forward differently?

Maybe you resonate with that executive; you, too, have employees on your team that wildly frustrate you and seem to be lazy or lack drive.

Consider this…

When you first started reading this post, you may have thought I was crazy for hoping I’d be lucky enough to live in low-income government housing one day. But when I told you my *STORY* — that my dream would’ve been a step up from my reality — did my dream suddenly seem at least a bit more reasonable?

Are your employees not doing what you want because of something in THEIR STORY? Or maybe you can see it all differently than them because of YOUR STORY. It’s likely that if you learned their story, you might uncover exactly what they need from you to see a better way to move forward.

What’s in Their Stories?

Maybe they need to be shown better housing options; or could they need encouragement to believe in themselves? Do they need to know there won’t be repercussions for mistakes, or that someone else would not be better qualified? The list could go on, but you’ll never know EXACTLY what their reason for thinking or acting the way they do until you get to know their story. Without knowing their story, you can’t know EXACTLY how to lead them to a better future for them, for you, and for the organization.

#Leadership is simple, but it is not always easy work. However, leading someone to a better future makes all the work worth it.

It is because of leaders in my life — people just like you who intentionally served me — that in about an hour, I’m not getting on a bus; instead, I’m getting on a plane. I’ve claimed that window seat, and when I look out that window now, my dreams are so, so much bigger!

Who could you help “dream bigger” by getting to know their story?

Photo credit: (c) Can Stock Photo / Lopolo

Employee Behavior Confusing? Asking This Helps

Every day, managers and leaders face the challenge of understanding the motives behind their employees' actions. They desperately try to understand employee behavior and why they act the way they do. Most days, predicting and motivating their behavior to align with organizational goals seems like an impossible task.

The Cornerstone of Employee Behavior

When it comes to employee behavior and motivation, three fundamental puzzle pieces exist. But let's concentrate on the foundational element, which I call the "cornerstone of employee behavior" or the "cornerstone concept."

Cornerstone Concept: All human behavior is driven by the fulfillment of needs.

Now, take a moment to reflect on the ten-word phrase above and try to identify the single most significant word within it.

If you're like most individuals I ask, you might believe the crucial words are "needs," "satisfaction," "behavior," or "human," in that order. 

However, I would tell you that all of those are incorrect. Using the process of elimination, you might hesitantly question whether "all" is the pivotal word. And in that moment, you would be correct!

A Small But Power Word

It may be hard to imagine that a tiny three-letter word anchors such an important concept as employee behavior and motivation, but it does. The foundational cornerstone statement does not suggest that "some" or "most" human behavior is directed toward fulfilling needs. It explicitly states that all human behavior is.

Now, that is powerful. Consider it for a moment. "All" encompasses everything we do, say, or think, and what we choose not to do, say, or think. And all of our behavior is driven by a conscious or subconscious attempt to satisfy some need, regardless of whether those needs are real or imagined. This means that literally everything you have done or will do today ultimately aims to fulfill some need.

Think About Your People

And the same is true for the people in your organization. 

Think about a single, common behavior demonstrated by those you lead... they show up for work (most days!)

This typical behavior reflects myriad needs your employees want to fulfill. Some show up for the challenge of their work. Others are there for a sense of belonging. Many are after the experience their position gives them. While others, it's true, show up just for the money. 

Think about it: One simple behavior is the result of many different needs. 

By extension, common needs, like the need for money, may result in various behaviors. People may choose to work more hours, seek a higher-paying position, secure a line of credit, or possibly even steal to fulfill their need for money.

Are you beginning to see the implications of needs -- fulfilled and unfulfilled -- on your employees' motives and actions? 

Now Ask What, Not Why

Managers and leaders who embrace the "cornerstone concept," find much greater clarity into why their people act the way they do. This insight allows them to ask a better question. "What?" Not why.

"What is the need my employee is trying to fulfill?" "Which need would result in the behavior I'm witnessing?" "How can I do to help them fulfill this need?"

"Why" is a reactive question while "what" is a proactive question. We ask "why" after something happens, so we're constantly playing defense when asking "why." When we ask "what," we're on the offense, looking and working to make good things happen.

The differences between asking "what" versus "why" are stark. Some managers and leaders are content to ask "why" and then complain that the answers they get are beyond their control. Proactive leaders ask "what" and then move forward expectantly, working alongside their people to help them satisfy their needs. 

Motivating Employee Behavior IS Possible

The results when the cornerstone concept of employee behavior is used? To name just a few:

-- employees feel more valued and understood;
-- relationships are deeper and more authentic; trust is greater;
-- the work environment becomes a win-win-win for employees, leaders, and the organization overall;
-- then motivating people to work to achieve organizational goals becomes a very real possibility!

Give it a try! I would love to hear the results of your discovery!

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Photo by Sora Shimazaki

Wanting a Meaningful Moment? Look Up.

I’ve hardly been home in June…from West Palm Beach to Nashville, to Las Vegas, to Portland, and so on, it’s been an incredible month🙌🏻🙏🏻❤️✨. I got in late last night and I have many thoughts as I reflect on the month, but one over-arching meaningful moment I want to share with you right now.

The more I travel, the smaller I feel…

Going around the country to busy airports, jam-packed hotels, resorts, and conventions…there are so many people in this world. And, this world DOES NOT revolve around me.

The more I travel, the smaller I feel…

Those people who are standing right in front of you...

And yet, while I feel so small in this world of almost 8 billion people, I realize what a gift it is that my path gets to cross with some of them. I mean you, too. You’re here reading this message and you could’ve easily scrolled past or never even opened your phone to see it.

None of us will encounter all of us… This means that those people who are standing right in front of us…they’re a gift! ✨Think about your friends, spouse, coworkers, etc…one different choice by either of you at some point in your life could set you off in different directions in which you never would have known each other otherwise.

If I hadn’t taken PE in my sophomore year of high school, I don’t know that Joe and I would have met, fallen in love, and have the kids and the life we have now. One choice… one meaningful moment... it set off the rest of our lives. The same is true for you. 

You are not insignificant...

🚨🚨🚨Although you too may feel small in this world, you are not insignificant! It matters that you’re here. Make it matter that you’re here! 

Right where you are, the people you are with, in the smallest moments and in the largest seasons of life, be present. Don’t be distracted by things that don’t matter! 

When your path crosses with another, whether it’s a driver, cashier, or family member, don’t lose the opportunity to encourage someone or be encouraged by someone. You never know, you might just be able to gift an opportunity to someone that deserves it, or you might just get the opportunity for yourself by being fully present and intentional about the impact you have on the people you’re around.

Here's a story for you...

I hopped in a Lyft in Nashville last week. With this thought in mind about being radically intentional about truly connecting with the people I come across every day, I start talking with the driver as if the 7.5 minutes we have together are destiny. 🤣🤣🙈🙈☠️☠️

And you know what? I think they were. 

Could this be a meaningful moment?

We went from being strangers to being deeply connected in seconds. He ended up telling me a story about being at his daughter's house one evening years ago. His daughter was angry at him. She was yelling at him, saying she wanted him to leave because he was drunk. He swore to her he wasn’t. 

The next day, he went back over to his daughter's house. When she opens the door, she invites her father in. They sit down at the table and she places her phone in front of him. She asks her dad to “watch this video”. She says she’s going to go on a 10-minute walk and she wants him to watch the video while she is gone.

So, she leaves… 

And her dad presses play. 

He begins watching the video. To his surprise, it’s a video of him…one she secretly took of him last night when he was at her house drunk. 

The man looked me dead in the eye through his rearview mirror and he told me — a complete stranger — that he has never been more ashamed of himself in his entire life than in that moment. He said I made a decision right then that I would never again drink alcohol. Never. He said I made a decision right there that I was going to take better care of myself so that I could be a better, more present father and grandfather. 

I had tears in my eyes. He was baring his soul. This gentleman was sharing his unquestionably meaningful moment with me.

Then the whole mood shifted...

A big smile came across his face. The tone of his voice went higher, he was instantly excited! He said “Guess how old I am! Do it! Guess! Be honest!” He was grinning ear to ear, y’all!

Me on the other hand… I could hardly see the man… I had no idea how old he was! More than that… I didn’t know if he would want me to guess older or younger 🤣🤣🤣. 

I guessed that he was in his 50s. He laughed…big time! He threw his head back and cracked up while he was driving….he made ME laugh by the way he was laughing! 🤣🙈 With one hand on the wheel, he turned quickly to me in the back seat, lifted up his hat, pulled down his glasses, and with the biggest grin, he told me he was 70 years old. He said he’s never been in better shape in his life! He said, “I believe in the power of choices.” He told me that he believed every day we have a choice to make, and it can change our life for the better. He wanted me to keep making good choices to help guide and encourage others through my work.

What if I hadn't looked up?

Now, most of the time as a speaker, I’m delivering the inspiration. However, this was a rare and meaningful moment where I was able to receive encouragement and inspiration! It was SUCH a lovely moment that I needed and will always remember. But, it wouldn’t have happened if I would have kept my face buried in my phone and not tried to connect with the person I was sharing space with. How many times are we all guilty of that? We’re guilty of being distracted from the people we're so lucky to interact with in this big world.

I want you, my friend, to have more encouraging, inspirational, meaningful moments with people in this life. I don’t ever want you to be sad, lonely, or disconnected. But make no mistake about it, it starts with you. Look up. Who are you with, focus on connecting with them…you might just find that exactly what you’re looking for is right in front of you.❤️

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash