Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 104
June 8, 2014
QK Agent Round 6: RV Arya, MG Fantasy
Entry Nickname: RV AryaTitle: The Raven Queen’s RevengeWord count: 40KGenre: MG Fantasy
Query:
After her dad moves out—for good this time—eleven-year-old Sylvie’s mom takes a job as a Louisiana state park campground supervisor, moving Sylvie and her pesky sister into a stinky RV. Ticked off and lonely, Sylvie wants to be back home with her own bed, her own stuff, and her dad.
One day Sylvie and her sister follow a fox into the woods, where they meet Lowell, a local kid whose dad is a park ranger. Lowell insists he can help Sylvie and her sister find the fox he scared off, but he loses the trail and leads them into an alternate world—Wiledyn. Frustrated with herself for following an annoying boy she hardly knows, Sylvie smashes a strategically-placed old, blue bottle against a tree, freeing hundreds of ravens . . . and their queen.
Raven Queen Keres—furious after spending the last seventeen years imprisoned, which gave her plenty of time to plot her revenge—seals all the exits from Wiledyn, confining her enemies while also trapping Sylvie, her sister, and Lowell in the crossfire of a power battle. Now Sylvie must protect her sister as they hunt down the Raven Queen, force her to unseal the exits, and—if Sylvie has anything to say about it—make her pay for the destruction she’s caused. With the help of a talking fox, a pair of cheery goblins, and a childlike druid, Sylvie and her companions struggle to return to the one place Sylvie wanted more than anything to escape: her home.
First 250 words:
Sylvie patted more dirt, wet her fingers in the plastic bowl, and sculpted the muddy mound in front of her. She looked back and forth between her mud creation and the folding, laminated field guide.
Not quite.
She squished and smoothed, then reexamined. Just over two inches. Tapered ends. She’d even added a few wild blackberry seeds.
Ha, nailed it! Best fox scat replica yet.
After snapping a close-up with her iPod, Sylvie stepped back for a group shot. Louisiana black bear, nutria, eastern cottontail, Virginia opossum, white-tailed deer, Northern raccoon, and now red fox. This had to make her some sort of campground expert on the subject.
She packed the replicas in their plastic shoe box, except the fox one. It had to bake in the sun a few hours before she could move it. Her dad would want to see her collection, but it wasn’t like he was going to drive four hours for it. Your father’s very busy, Sylvie. She’d been considering some sort of museum set-up and charging admission. She was sure a few weekenders would swing by, if only to check out the weird girl and her sun-baked mud poop museum. She didn’t care. Not if she could get a dollar out of each of them.
A flash of red near the trees caught her eye, but when she turned . . . nothing. No movement, no fox, nothing. Wishful thinking, she figured.
Query:
After her dad moves out—for good this time—eleven-year-old Sylvie’s mom takes a job as a Louisiana state park campground supervisor, moving Sylvie and her pesky sister into a stinky RV. Ticked off and lonely, Sylvie wants to be back home with her own bed, her own stuff, and her dad.
One day Sylvie and her sister follow a fox into the woods, where they meet Lowell, a local kid whose dad is a park ranger. Lowell insists he can help Sylvie and her sister find the fox he scared off, but he loses the trail and leads them into an alternate world—Wiledyn. Frustrated with herself for following an annoying boy she hardly knows, Sylvie smashes a strategically-placed old, blue bottle against a tree, freeing hundreds of ravens . . . and their queen.
Raven Queen Keres—furious after spending the last seventeen years imprisoned, which gave her plenty of time to plot her revenge—seals all the exits from Wiledyn, confining her enemies while also trapping Sylvie, her sister, and Lowell in the crossfire of a power battle. Now Sylvie must protect her sister as they hunt down the Raven Queen, force her to unseal the exits, and—if Sylvie has anything to say about it—make her pay for the destruction she’s caused. With the help of a talking fox, a pair of cheery goblins, and a childlike druid, Sylvie and her companions struggle to return to the one place Sylvie wanted more than anything to escape: her home.
First 250 words:
Sylvie patted more dirt, wet her fingers in the plastic bowl, and sculpted the muddy mound in front of her. She looked back and forth between her mud creation and the folding, laminated field guide.
Not quite.
She squished and smoothed, then reexamined. Just over two inches. Tapered ends. She’d even added a few wild blackberry seeds.
Ha, nailed it! Best fox scat replica yet.
After snapping a close-up with her iPod, Sylvie stepped back for a group shot. Louisiana black bear, nutria, eastern cottontail, Virginia opossum, white-tailed deer, Northern raccoon, and now red fox. This had to make her some sort of campground expert on the subject.
She packed the replicas in their plastic shoe box, except the fox one. It had to bake in the sun a few hours before she could move it. Her dad would want to see her collection, but it wasn’t like he was going to drive four hours for it. Your father’s very busy, Sylvie. She’d been considering some sort of museum set-up and charging admission. She was sure a few weekenders would swing by, if only to check out the weird girl and her sun-baked mud poop museum. She didn’t care. Not if she could get a dollar out of each of them.
A flash of red near the trees caught her eye, but when she turned . . . nothing. No movement, no fox, nothing. Wishful thinking, she figured.
QK Agent Round 7: Trailer Trap, MG Contemporary
Entry Nickname: Trailer TrapTitle: Experiment in ProgressWord Count: 40,000Genre: MG Contemporary
Query:
Alexis Reed is going to make her school sorry for sticking her in a trailer. Thanks to overcrowding, her fifth-grade class has been assigned to a portable classroom with defective air conditioning and a cockroach problem. She’s stranded across the soccer field from her quirky little brother, who tends to wander out of classrooms and hide in storage closets. When she can’t stay close to him, it’s a lot harder to keep Lucas from getting himself expelled.
Determined to get back in the main building, Alexis designs an experiment for her school science fair to prove that the trailer is dangerous. She and her partner Jaelynn demolish a model of the trailer with a leaf blower to show what would happen if a tornado hit Glenwood Elementary. The project wins the girls a third-place ribbon, an appearance on the local T.V. news, and an invitation to speak at the next school board meeting. Alexis thinks she’s won—until she learns that the school board plans to empty the trailer by transferring a busload of kids out of Glenwood. A busload made up of low-income students from the “wrong” side of town. A busload that includes Jaelynn.
Caught between her brother and her friend, Alexis must decide if she still wants out of the trailer at any cost.
First 250 Words:
If you ever run across one of the newspaper stories about my science project, don’t believe a word of it. Every single reporter got the story wrong.
Take The Canlaston Chronicle. The article said, “Jaelynn Moore asked her rebellious classmate Alexis Reed to help with a controversial experiment for the fifth grade science fair.” That’s completely backwards. I asked Jaelynn to be my partner, not the other way around. Besides, I wasn’t rebellious or controversial back then. That came later.
I told the reporter the real story, but he didn't listen. The truth is, I asked Jaelynn to be my partner because of a boy band. Normally, I would have teamed up with my best friend, Olivia. We’d been doing school projects together since kindergarten. But on September 15, the day the experiment was assigned, Olivia brought The Ultimate D.A.Z.E. Photo Journal for us to read at recess. She shoved it at me as we walked to the playground. I tried not to groan. “I think you showed me this already.”
“Nuh-uh. It’s new.”
“But we looked at it after swim practice, remember?”
Olivia sighed at my cluelessness. “That was The D.A.Z.E. Craze Behind-the-Scenes Fan Guide. Totally different.”
Olivia’s books all look the same to me. So do the posters on her bedroom wall, no matter whether they’re showing Damian, Alan, Zack, or Edward. Songs by D.A.Z.E. always sound alike, too. But I’d never dare say any of that to Olivia.
“Oh, right. Totally different.”
Query:
Alexis Reed is going to make her school sorry for sticking her in a trailer. Thanks to overcrowding, her fifth-grade class has been assigned to a portable classroom with defective air conditioning and a cockroach problem. She’s stranded across the soccer field from her quirky little brother, who tends to wander out of classrooms and hide in storage closets. When she can’t stay close to him, it’s a lot harder to keep Lucas from getting himself expelled.
Determined to get back in the main building, Alexis designs an experiment for her school science fair to prove that the trailer is dangerous. She and her partner Jaelynn demolish a model of the trailer with a leaf blower to show what would happen if a tornado hit Glenwood Elementary. The project wins the girls a third-place ribbon, an appearance on the local T.V. news, and an invitation to speak at the next school board meeting. Alexis thinks she’s won—until she learns that the school board plans to empty the trailer by transferring a busload of kids out of Glenwood. A busload made up of low-income students from the “wrong” side of town. A busload that includes Jaelynn.
Caught between her brother and her friend, Alexis must decide if she still wants out of the trailer at any cost.
First 250 Words:
If you ever run across one of the newspaper stories about my science project, don’t believe a word of it. Every single reporter got the story wrong.
Take The Canlaston Chronicle. The article said, “Jaelynn Moore asked her rebellious classmate Alexis Reed to help with a controversial experiment for the fifth grade science fair.” That’s completely backwards. I asked Jaelynn to be my partner, not the other way around. Besides, I wasn’t rebellious or controversial back then. That came later.
I told the reporter the real story, but he didn't listen. The truth is, I asked Jaelynn to be my partner because of a boy band. Normally, I would have teamed up with my best friend, Olivia. We’d been doing school projects together since kindergarten. But on September 15, the day the experiment was assigned, Olivia brought The Ultimate D.A.Z.E. Photo Journal for us to read at recess. She shoved it at me as we walked to the playground. I tried not to groan. “I think you showed me this already.”
“Nuh-uh. It’s new.”
“But we looked at it after swim practice, remember?”
Olivia sighed at my cluelessness. “That was The D.A.Z.E. Craze Behind-the-Scenes Fan Guide. Totally different.”
Olivia’s books all look the same to me. So do the posters on her bedroom wall, no matter whether they’re showing Damian, Alan, Zack, or Edward. Songs by D.A.Z.E. always sound alike, too. But I’d never dare say any of that to Olivia.
“Oh, right. Totally different.”
QK Agent Round 8: Tag, You're Dead, YA Thriller
Entry Nickname: Tag, You're DeadTitle: Tag, You're DeadWord count: 80KGenre: YA Thriller
Query:
In present-day Chicago, six teenagers play Tag, but with a twist: if you get Tagged, you get Dead.The three "Its" have their reasons for buying a place in the Game: Brandy, the surgically-enhanced debutante, is dying to destroy a naturally beautiful girl; Robin, the so-so basketball player, desires his target's position on the school team; and Charles, the brainiac, craves a battle against an intellectual equal. Laura, William, and Amanda, three hand-picked innocents forced to play as “Runners,” want only one thing…to survive. From the moment the Runners “Go,” we follow their separate paths as the Game rockets them through the city, from the El to Michigan Avenue to the Lincoln Park Zoo. They must plan circuitous routes, for if they head directly to their Home Bases, they’ll run straight into their opponents’ murderous arms. Since the Runners’ coordinates are transmitted to the Its every half hour from smart watches locked onto their wrists, there is no time to rest, and barely a moment to register the threats made against their loved ones should the Runners refuse to participate.With only so many places to hide, even in one of the nation’s largest cities, the Runners must use their unique skills – Laura’s charismatic personality, William’s brute strength, Amanda’s computer hacking – to outsmart their Its. The Game will not end until someone is Tagged, so the Runners must choose how to play: will they accept death, murder their Its, or create a third option that could end the game before anyone dies?Six players began the Game. How many will live to see it end?
First 250 words:
“I can’t choose,” Brandy Inkrott said. “I want to kill them all.”
“Tag,” her mother said. “You want to Tag them all.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Either way,” her father said, “I’m afraid you have to pick one.”
Brandy studied the images of the teenage girls on the screen. Brunettes. Blondes. Asians. Hispanics. Light-skinned. Dark-skinned. Every one of them gorgeous. Every one of them middle-class. No-names. None of them like her. “They’re all so perfect. Can I pick more than one?”
A woman’s voice pierced the air, emanating from the Surround Sound speakers. “The price for two would be extravagant, Ms. Inkrott.”
“But I want—"
“Tagging more than one Runner would also be difficult. Almost impossible.”
“I don’t care. I can do it.”
Her father shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I suggest this,” the woman said. “Play this time with one Runner. If you are successful, you may play again, and go after two.”
“I’m smart,” Brandy said. “I could do it the first time.”
“I know it’s tempting when you see all those beautiful faces, but you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment.”
“What do you know? You’re probably some fat old lady in a trailer park somewhere. I could Tag you."
Silence sizzled over the speakers.
“I’m sorry, Madame Referee,” Brandy’s father said. “She didn’t mean it.”
“Did so,” Brandy said.
“Bran, honey, please.”
The girls’ faces on the television disappeared, replaced by only one, which took up the entire surface of the eighty-inch screen.
Query:
In present-day Chicago, six teenagers play Tag, but with a twist: if you get Tagged, you get Dead.The three "Its" have their reasons for buying a place in the Game: Brandy, the surgically-enhanced debutante, is dying to destroy a naturally beautiful girl; Robin, the so-so basketball player, desires his target's position on the school team; and Charles, the brainiac, craves a battle against an intellectual equal. Laura, William, and Amanda, three hand-picked innocents forced to play as “Runners,” want only one thing…to survive. From the moment the Runners “Go,” we follow their separate paths as the Game rockets them through the city, from the El to Michigan Avenue to the Lincoln Park Zoo. They must plan circuitous routes, for if they head directly to their Home Bases, they’ll run straight into their opponents’ murderous arms. Since the Runners’ coordinates are transmitted to the Its every half hour from smart watches locked onto their wrists, there is no time to rest, and barely a moment to register the threats made against their loved ones should the Runners refuse to participate.With only so many places to hide, even in one of the nation’s largest cities, the Runners must use their unique skills – Laura’s charismatic personality, William’s brute strength, Amanda’s computer hacking – to outsmart their Its. The Game will not end until someone is Tagged, so the Runners must choose how to play: will they accept death, murder their Its, or create a third option that could end the game before anyone dies?Six players began the Game. How many will live to see it end?
First 250 words:
“I can’t choose,” Brandy Inkrott said. “I want to kill them all.”
“Tag,” her mother said. “You want to Tag them all.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Either way,” her father said, “I’m afraid you have to pick one.”
Brandy studied the images of the teenage girls on the screen. Brunettes. Blondes. Asians. Hispanics. Light-skinned. Dark-skinned. Every one of them gorgeous. Every one of them middle-class. No-names. None of them like her. “They’re all so perfect. Can I pick more than one?”
A woman’s voice pierced the air, emanating from the Surround Sound speakers. “The price for two would be extravagant, Ms. Inkrott.”
“But I want—"
“Tagging more than one Runner would also be difficult. Almost impossible.”
“I don’t care. I can do it.”
Her father shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I suggest this,” the woman said. “Play this time with one Runner. If you are successful, you may play again, and go after two.”
“I’m smart,” Brandy said. “I could do it the first time.”
“I know it’s tempting when you see all those beautiful faces, but you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment.”
“What do you know? You’re probably some fat old lady in a trailer park somewhere. I could Tag you."
Silence sizzled over the speakers.
“I’m sorry, Madame Referee,” Brandy’s father said. “She didn’t mean it.”
“Did so,” Brandy said.
“Bran, honey, please.”
The girls’ faces on the television disappeared, replaced by only one, which took up the entire surface of the eighty-inch screen.
QK Agent Round 9: A Burning Dilemma, YA Contemporary
Entry Nickname: A Burning DilemmaTitle: Burn, BabyWord count: 62KGenre: YA Contemporary
Query:
The fates must have been laughing their asses off the day sixteen-year-old Ziggy's crack-head mom poured gas all over his sister and lit her on fire. The tragedy that wrecked Layla's future gave him the life he'd always wished for, and too much guilt to ever enjoy it.
His mom got thirty-to-life for attempted murder and now the brother and sister are living with a crazy but cool uncle in the suburbs, far away from the public housing apartments where they grew up. They’re going to a private high school and Ziggy's driving his own car and excelling in kickboxing. Unfortunately, his once kind, smart sister now hates everything, but mostly she hates him, for saving her.
Until she connects with her poetry teacher, who falls in love with her angry words, and slowly draws her out from her prison of scars. But Ziggy isn’t happy about eighteen-year-old Layla dating a teacher. Should he try to come between them, or wait to see if Mr. Osterman – despite the taboo – is just what his sister needs to move on with her life? And will Layla's forgiveness allow Ziggy to finally let go of his guilt?
250 Words:
Lightning streaked across the Tampa sky, illuminating the cockroaches that feasted on the kitchen counter. Thunder cracked, slow and building until vibrations shuddered the tiny living room of our crap apartment, where I sat cross legged on the couch. My sister sprawled beside me, reading a book while I watched some dumbass reality show, pretending not to listen for Mom’s john on the stairs with his twenty bucks and baggie of meth.
Aside from a couple of mattresses in the bedrooms, that was the extent of our furniture. A Goodwill couch which doubled as my bed and a junk TV on a milk crate. I held a box of Lucky Charms where Layla could reach, enjoying our family sit-down dinner.
“What’re you reading?” I asked during a commercial.
The rain messed up the picture, so I fiddled with the rabbit ears, only making things worse. Frustrated, I flopped back down beside her, catching the cereal box before it bounced to the floor.
She looked up, her fake scowl only highlighting her anomalous beauty. Freckled apple cheeks and gorgeous blue eyes that turned heads wherever we went. I know that’s weird for a brother to notice, but I was counting on that face to end up in magazines or on TV, and thereby financing our escape from the crack smoking gorgon who used curses and fists to turn her kids to stone.
Layla waved the cover of some teen romance in my face. “A book. You should try it sometime.”
Query:
The fates must have been laughing their asses off the day sixteen-year-old Ziggy's crack-head mom poured gas all over his sister and lit her on fire. The tragedy that wrecked Layla's future gave him the life he'd always wished for, and too much guilt to ever enjoy it.
His mom got thirty-to-life for attempted murder and now the brother and sister are living with a crazy but cool uncle in the suburbs, far away from the public housing apartments where they grew up. They’re going to a private high school and Ziggy's driving his own car and excelling in kickboxing. Unfortunately, his once kind, smart sister now hates everything, but mostly she hates him, for saving her.
Until she connects with her poetry teacher, who falls in love with her angry words, and slowly draws her out from her prison of scars. But Ziggy isn’t happy about eighteen-year-old Layla dating a teacher. Should he try to come between them, or wait to see if Mr. Osterman – despite the taboo – is just what his sister needs to move on with her life? And will Layla's forgiveness allow Ziggy to finally let go of his guilt?
250 Words:
Lightning streaked across the Tampa sky, illuminating the cockroaches that feasted on the kitchen counter. Thunder cracked, slow and building until vibrations shuddered the tiny living room of our crap apartment, where I sat cross legged on the couch. My sister sprawled beside me, reading a book while I watched some dumbass reality show, pretending not to listen for Mom’s john on the stairs with his twenty bucks and baggie of meth.
Aside from a couple of mattresses in the bedrooms, that was the extent of our furniture. A Goodwill couch which doubled as my bed and a junk TV on a milk crate. I held a box of Lucky Charms where Layla could reach, enjoying our family sit-down dinner.
“What’re you reading?” I asked during a commercial.
The rain messed up the picture, so I fiddled with the rabbit ears, only making things worse. Frustrated, I flopped back down beside her, catching the cereal box before it bounced to the floor.
She looked up, her fake scowl only highlighting her anomalous beauty. Freckled apple cheeks and gorgeous blue eyes that turned heads wherever we went. I know that’s weird for a brother to notice, but I was counting on that face to end up in magazines or on TV, and thereby financing our escape from the crack smoking gorgon who used curses and fists to turn her kids to stone.
Layla waved the cover of some teen romance in my face. “A book. You should try it sometime.”
June 6, 2014
Another Query Kombat Surprise
One of the goals we had for Query Kombat this year was to make it bigger and better than last year. So far, I think we've succeeded. With 32 35 entries going into the agent round, we've shown that there is nothing we won't do to make this tournament as fun and successful as possible.
But we still have a few surprises left in our arsenal...
This year, the last entry standing in each category (MG, YA, NA, and A) will receive a badge showing off their accomplishment in the tournament. The Query Kombat champion will also receive a badge, marking him/her as the last man/woman standing in such an intense contest.
So, without further ado, I give you the Query Kombat badges...
But we still have a few surprises left in our arsenal...
This year, the last entry standing in each category (MG, YA, NA, and A) will receive a badge showing off their accomplishment in the tournament. The Query Kombat champion will also receive a badge, marking him/her as the last man/woman standing in such an intense contest.
So, without further ado, I give you the Query Kombat badges...
June 5, 2014
Query Kombat 2014 1st Round Winners
Well, Round 1 of this crazy contests officially ended last night. We promised blood and blood there was. Sorry this announcement is so late. A host had an emergency and I actually went to bed before he returned. Exhaustion and an upset stomach from picking my host save got the best of me.
Please have your revised entries to us by Friday, June 6th at noon. Use the same format and send to the contest email: QueryKombat (at) yahoo (dot) com.
A full 32 entries out of the 64 lost in a valiant fight - you should have seen us hosts and the judges freak out over Twitter and in the comments of the entries about how hard it was to choose.
For those 32: good job. You gave the judges a hell of a job. Hopefully you got some amazing feedback as well!
For the 32 winners, CONGRATS!!!!!! YOU GET TO GO ON TO THE AGENT ROUND WHICH OPENS THIS SUNDAY!!!
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round. Let me know if we made any mistakes!
Make a Baby with Socks OnShe Wears Bruises Like TrophiesReality StarBeauty and the Crazy KidnapperRemember Me
Attempting AverageLove is HellCan't Keep a Bad Girl DownThe Past is BackLavender MarriageA Cozy for GeeksMaking Boys CryHave Sword, Will TravelGuerrilla GeekWorld on a StringTrailer TrapGirl Destroys WorldStar Light, Star BrightTag, You're DeadSunnyside UpAmnesiacA Burning DilemmaCaprice No. 13Shalom SasquatchMini MutantsWEELMaidens, Monks, & MurderA Few Quick HellosSkateboarding SherlockBingBamBoomBFF
CONGRATS!!! Of course, we still have....
the Host Saves
These are three entries that we three hosts will pick from our teams to move on to the agent round but not on to Round 2. Check out SC's and Mike's picks as well. The host saves can submit a revised entry and will go to the agent round, but not to the second combat round.
It was a really hard decisions to narrow my host save down to one choice. I'm sure the burning in the pit of my stomach last night was the result, because this choice is crushing. I love all my picks and would take you all if it was possible.
With great humility and apologies to the rest, my host save is:
Lowlife Extraordinaire
Congrats everyone!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to see you all at the agent round! Also: how was/is your experience in Query Kombat?
Please have your revised entries to us by Friday, June 6th at noon. Use the same format and send to the contest email: QueryKombat (at) yahoo (dot) com.
A full 32 entries out of the 64 lost in a valiant fight - you should have seen us hosts and the judges freak out over Twitter and in the comments of the entries about how hard it was to choose.
For those 32: good job. You gave the judges a hell of a job. Hopefully you got some amazing feedback as well!
For the 32 winners, CONGRATS!!!!!! YOU GET TO GO ON TO THE AGENT ROUND WHICH OPENS THIS SUNDAY!!!
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round. Let me know if we made any mistakes!
Make a Baby with Socks OnShe Wears Bruises Like TrophiesReality StarBeauty and the Crazy KidnapperRemember Me
Attempting AverageLove is HellCan't Keep a Bad Girl DownThe Past is BackLavender MarriageA Cozy for GeeksMaking Boys CryHave Sword, Will TravelGuerrilla GeekWorld on a StringTrailer TrapGirl Destroys WorldStar Light, Star BrightTag, You're DeadSunnyside UpAmnesiacA Burning DilemmaCaprice No. 13Shalom SasquatchMini MutantsWEELMaidens, Monks, & MurderA Few Quick HellosSkateboarding SherlockBingBamBoomBFF
CONGRATS!!! Of course, we still have....
the Host Saves
These are three entries that we three hosts will pick from our teams to move on to the agent round but not on to Round 2. Check out SC's and Mike's picks as well. The host saves can submit a revised entry and will go to the agent round, but not to the second combat round.
It was a really hard decisions to narrow my host save down to one choice. I'm sure the burning in the pit of my stomach last night was the result, because this choice is crushing. I love all my picks and would take you all if it was possible.
With great humility and apologies to the rest, my host save is:
Lowlife Extraordinaire
Congrats everyone!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to see you all at the agent round! Also: how was/is your experience in Query Kombat?
June 3, 2014
Query Kombat 2014 Surprise One
If you've been following the hosts on Twitter, you know we've been heavily hinting towards several secret surprises for the last four days or so. Well, now you're going to find out what one is.
This sort of grew out of a desire to see more entries in the agent round because from 230 entries dwindled down to 32 in the agent round...that's BRUTAL. But our surprise also helps out because the match-ups were just SO hard to do. We tried as hard as possible to match entries up against similar-styled opponents but some entries were so unique that doing it was impossible. Basically, we had stellar entries against each other with nothing in common to base a 'victor' off of.
And it's just so painful losing half our beautiful picks.
SO THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THE SECRET SURPRISE!
Are you ready for it? You ready?
....
....
...
...
..
..
.
.
..
..
...
...
....
....
....
ARE YOU READY?!
This secret surprise is that each host gets to pick one of their losing entries to enter the agent round! That's right--it's a host save!
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *Cheers and claps all around*
Each host will pick the entry they believe will get requests and these entries will enter the agent round but not Round 2 of Query Kombat. So they won't get the cool blog badges and everything that are reserved for winners in each category.
We'll pick our entries after Round 1 ends on June 4th! The picked entries will have the chance to submit a revised entry as well as the other Round 1 winners.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very excited about the agent round now :) Good luck everyone!
Stay tuned for more surprises!
This sort of grew out of a desire to see more entries in the agent round because from 230 entries dwindled down to 32 in the agent round...that's BRUTAL. But our surprise also helps out because the match-ups were just SO hard to do. We tried as hard as possible to match entries up against similar-styled opponents but some entries were so unique that doing it was impossible. Basically, we had stellar entries against each other with nothing in common to base a 'victor' off of.
And it's just so painful losing half our beautiful picks.
SO THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THE SECRET SURPRISE!
Are you ready for it? You ready?
....
....
...
...
..
..
.
.
..
..
...
...
....
....
....
ARE YOU READY?!
This secret surprise is that each host gets to pick one of their losing entries to enter the agent round! That's right--it's a host save!
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *Cheers and claps all around*
Each host will pick the entry they believe will get requests and these entries will enter the agent round but not Round 2 of Query Kombat. So they won't get the cool blog badges and everything that are reserved for winners in each category.
We'll pick our entries after Round 1 ends on June 4th! The picked entries will have the chance to submit a revised entry as well as the other Round 1 winners.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very excited about the agent round now :) Good luck everyone!
Stay tuned for more surprises!
June 1, 2014
Query Kombat 2014 Round 1 Has Begun
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Round 1 HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHH!!!!!!!
Hop on over to Mike's and SC's blogs to see the rest of the match-ups and entries!! They are spread all over the place. Some here, some there. We've got a little bit of everything: adult, NA, YA, and MG! This round last until June 4th at 8 pm.
But before we begin:
Read this post again to remind yourselves of the rules and guidelines of commenting and judging. Below I've reposted the main ideas:
Reminders for the Entrants:
No commenting on your own entries!!!!!! At ALL. Except for one big exception: I'm a human, I make mistakes. If you see something wrong with your entry such as a word that should have been italicized but isn't, or something else, first try to Tweet me @Michelle4Laughs (this is the best option). If you don't have a Twitter, comment on your entry telling me the mistake (but this way will be slower as I won't be checking the comments as much as Twitter, and also because your comment may be lost in a flood of judges' votes).
Also, we tried our hardest to make the match-ups as fair as possible and against as similar stories as possible. But, obviously, this is impossible to do perfectly and some match-ups may seen very random (they're not). We apologize for this but it's an evil of the system.
Kombatants should comment on 6 other match-ups to help share the love around!
Reminders for the Judges:
Wait until after one of us hosts comments on each entry first and reply to that comment to cast your votes :) Try making your votes objective instead of subjective (but if you really love an entry subjectively, don't even feel bad about saying it was a subjective vote - subjectivity rules!).
Make sure to post under your nicknames!
And judges: seriously, thank you so, SO much for doing this. It's a very tough job (just wait until you start doing it!) and isn't for the faint-hearted.
Reminders for Everyone:
Try not to comment until after one of us hosts have made the first comment!
NOW THE FUN BEGINS!!! GO GO GO!!! We'll be Tweeting under #QueryKombat!
QK Round 1: Palm Beach versus She Wears Bruises Like Trophies
Entry Name: Palm BeachTitle: Of a Palm Beach PersuasionWord Count: 90,000Genre: Adult Women's FictionQuery:
Maggie is finally ready to come home. Trust-fund untouched, a self-made success, she will step back into the role of dutiful socialite on her own terms. Her return comes shortly after the bubble pops on the real estate market, and her father, although Palm Beach royalty, finds himself upside down on multiple properties. Maggie is amused when he decides to rent their Palm Beach mansion to an L.A. band. Amused that is, until the musicians reconnect Maggie to her first love, her high school boyfriend, who’s proposal she once fled. Literally.
And yes, more than ten years later, she’s still flustered about that.
Back in high school, Gavin doesn’t understand Maggie’s surprise invitation to her father’s annual fall gala. Rumor has it she only dates Ivy Leaguers down for crew training. It isn’t that Gavin comes from “the wrong side of the tracks,” but that he lives on the wrong side of the water - off “The Island.” Not a Palm Beacher, not a Beach Clubber, not an anything. But when the Beatles cover band brought in for the gala strikes up, “Can’t Buy Me Love,” for their first song of the night, he takes it as the perfect omen.
He’s wrong. By the next summer Maggie leaves Gavin standing by the sea wall - the Flagler Museum where they’d danced prom night illuminated across the water. The ring he’d designed to showcase his grandmother’s diamond still in his own hand.
And yes, more than ten years later, he’s still holding a grudge. It’s Persuasion under the glare of the south Florida sun, but the only one going by the name of Wentworth is a peacock who takes residence in Maggie’s yard, and the modern heroine is not lifted in and out of carriages because she drives her own Mercedes thankyouverymuch.
First 250 Words:
February 15, 2007 Almond Granola Bark, a.k.a. Road Trip Fuel
Blog Recipe Box: snacks, other
What do you like to eat on road trips? What if it begins on snowy roads and ends in 85 degree heat? What if it’s a moving road trip? A you-lived-somewhere-eleven-years but... it’s time. Chapter closed. On the road.
Is there a food for that?
When this publishes I'll be winding around DC’s Dupont Circle, my townhouse disappearing in the back window. I’ll weave and turn until I find myself on 395 soon to be spit out on 95 - the highway that takes me home.
When I’m welcoming the heat of seat warmers under my jeans should I fill my mug with hot chocolate, but later, when sweaty denim starts sticking, do I toss the bottom-sludge in a 7-11 parking lot where I’ll have stopped for an icy Slurpee? Maybe I’ll begin with a toasted sandwich and end with, I don’t know, what are they eating in Florida right now? Mangoes? Kiwis? Avocado everything?
No surprise - my kitchen was the final room dwindled down to boxes. What to make? What to make!
I’m a Florida girl. I love heat, thick salty air, those mangoes. Watching Sandhill Cranes by the dozen peck through empty fields or finding a smaller family of the birds honking a parade down my driveway. (It’s happened.) I don’t mind braking for alligators (also true), though I’m not crazy about giant lizards (tiny dinosaurs). We’ll blame them for my hiatus.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: She Wears Bruises Like TrophiesTitle: Lucky PunchWord count: 71KGenre: Adult Contemporary
Query:
Widowed military veteran Poppy Leon is desperate to rebuild her life and be a great single parent to her son Milo, despite suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, after almost losing her life in a mortar attack in Iraq.
When Poppy finds a veteran’s outreach program of mixed martial arts (MMA), she hopes it will help curb her debilitating PTSD. After two years of MMA competition Poppy is undefeated, and her relationship with her five year old son has never been better. But a vicious blow to the head during a match triggers a flashback, and Poppy loses control, nearly killing her opponent. She’s immediately plunged into a mental and physical nightmare. Unable to function, Poppy lashes out at those she loves the most, including Milo.
Despite the resurgence of her PTSD, Poppy still has contracts and commitments to complete that her honor demands she fulfill. If she doesn’t, she loses her fight money, and the home she and Milo picked out that she just signed a contract for. If she doesn’t get her shit together and Marine-up, Poppy knows losing a match is the least of her worries. But what was once her most cherished outlet soon has her reliving her past trauma with every strike and blow. Now Poppy must decide between Marine and Mother if she's ever going to give her son and herself the life she deserves.
First 250:
The tent was in flames around her and Poppy felt like she’d been thrown against a concrete wall. Sand filled her mouth, her head was splitting apart. All, she could think was, move! Her eyes teared up as she opened them, and rough hands grabbed her and dragged her from the tent.
Poppy was dropped on the ground next to another Marine and watched in a haze as her savior ran back into the tent to bring out anyone left inside. He was a God damn hero.
She looked around, the ringing in her ears increasing, and took quick inventory of the action around her. There were men and women in uniform, running hither and to with their faces bloodied and their once clean uniforms tattered and covered in dust. She heard herself asking the question, what happened, in a voice that didn’t sound remotely like her own. She brought her hand up to her head, grimacing as she felt something sticking out of her skull. She had the presence of mind to leave it where it was, and leaned over to retch into the sand.
She crawled over to the body next to her, putting her shaking hand on the Marine’s neck to feel for a pulse, but not even a whisper beat against her bloodied fingers. Poppy drew her hand away and felt herself up. She didn’t feel any obvious wounds, and she glanced to the side, wondering who was in charge. Then she remembered: she was.
Maggie is finally ready to come home. Trust-fund untouched, a self-made success, she will step back into the role of dutiful socialite on her own terms. Her return comes shortly after the bubble pops on the real estate market, and her father, although Palm Beach royalty, finds himself upside down on multiple properties. Maggie is amused when he decides to rent their Palm Beach mansion to an L.A. band. Amused that is, until the musicians reconnect Maggie to her first love, her high school boyfriend, who’s proposal she once fled. Literally.
And yes, more than ten years later, she’s still flustered about that.
Back in high school, Gavin doesn’t understand Maggie’s surprise invitation to her father’s annual fall gala. Rumor has it she only dates Ivy Leaguers down for crew training. It isn’t that Gavin comes from “the wrong side of the tracks,” but that he lives on the wrong side of the water - off “The Island.” Not a Palm Beacher, not a Beach Clubber, not an anything. But when the Beatles cover band brought in for the gala strikes up, “Can’t Buy Me Love,” for their first song of the night, he takes it as the perfect omen.
He’s wrong. By the next summer Maggie leaves Gavin standing by the sea wall - the Flagler Museum where they’d danced prom night illuminated across the water. The ring he’d designed to showcase his grandmother’s diamond still in his own hand.
And yes, more than ten years later, he’s still holding a grudge. It’s Persuasion under the glare of the south Florida sun, but the only one going by the name of Wentworth is a peacock who takes residence in Maggie’s yard, and the modern heroine is not lifted in and out of carriages because she drives her own Mercedes thankyouverymuch.
First 250 Words:
February 15, 2007 Almond Granola Bark, a.k.a. Road Trip Fuel
Blog Recipe Box: snacks, other
What do you like to eat on road trips? What if it begins on snowy roads and ends in 85 degree heat? What if it’s a moving road trip? A you-lived-somewhere-eleven-years but... it’s time. Chapter closed. On the road.
Is there a food for that?
When this publishes I'll be winding around DC’s Dupont Circle, my townhouse disappearing in the back window. I’ll weave and turn until I find myself on 395 soon to be spit out on 95 - the highway that takes me home.
When I’m welcoming the heat of seat warmers under my jeans should I fill my mug with hot chocolate, but later, when sweaty denim starts sticking, do I toss the bottom-sludge in a 7-11 parking lot where I’ll have stopped for an icy Slurpee? Maybe I’ll begin with a toasted sandwich and end with, I don’t know, what are they eating in Florida right now? Mangoes? Kiwis? Avocado everything?
No surprise - my kitchen was the final room dwindled down to boxes. What to make? What to make!
I’m a Florida girl. I love heat, thick salty air, those mangoes. Watching Sandhill Cranes by the dozen peck through empty fields or finding a smaller family of the birds honking a parade down my driveway. (It’s happened.) I don’t mind braking for alligators (also true), though I’m not crazy about giant lizards (tiny dinosaurs). We’ll blame them for my hiatus.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: She Wears Bruises Like TrophiesTitle: Lucky PunchWord count: 71KGenre: Adult Contemporary
Query:
Widowed military veteran Poppy Leon is desperate to rebuild her life and be a great single parent to her son Milo, despite suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, after almost losing her life in a mortar attack in Iraq.
When Poppy finds a veteran’s outreach program of mixed martial arts (MMA), she hopes it will help curb her debilitating PTSD. After two years of MMA competition Poppy is undefeated, and her relationship with her five year old son has never been better. But a vicious blow to the head during a match triggers a flashback, and Poppy loses control, nearly killing her opponent. She’s immediately plunged into a mental and physical nightmare. Unable to function, Poppy lashes out at those she loves the most, including Milo.
Despite the resurgence of her PTSD, Poppy still has contracts and commitments to complete that her honor demands she fulfill. If she doesn’t, she loses her fight money, and the home she and Milo picked out that she just signed a contract for. If she doesn’t get her shit together and Marine-up, Poppy knows losing a match is the least of her worries. But what was once her most cherished outlet soon has her reliving her past trauma with every strike and blow. Now Poppy must decide between Marine and Mother if she's ever going to give her son and herself the life she deserves.
First 250:
The tent was in flames around her and Poppy felt like she’d been thrown against a concrete wall. Sand filled her mouth, her head was splitting apart. All, she could think was, move! Her eyes teared up as she opened them, and rough hands grabbed her and dragged her from the tent.
Poppy was dropped on the ground next to another Marine and watched in a haze as her savior ran back into the tent to bring out anyone left inside. He was a God damn hero.
She looked around, the ringing in her ears increasing, and took quick inventory of the action around her. There were men and women in uniform, running hither and to with their faces bloodied and their once clean uniforms tattered and covered in dust. She heard herself asking the question, what happened, in a voice that didn’t sound remotely like her own. She brought her hand up to her head, grimacing as she felt something sticking out of her skull. She had the presence of mind to leave it where it was, and leaned over to retch into the sand.
She crawled over to the body next to her, putting her shaking hand on the Marine’s neck to feel for a pulse, but not even a whisper beat against her bloodied fingers. Poppy drew her hand away and felt herself up. She didn’t feel any obvious wounds, and she glanced to the side, wondering who was in charge. Then she remembered: she was.
QK Round 1: His Little Human versus Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Entry Nickname: His Little HumanTitle: The Black Dragon’s MateWord Count: 90,000Genre: Adult fantasy romance
Query:
What a dragon wants, a dragon takes. Even if it’s a girl.
Sakina Sage, twenty-five year old diplomat with a degree in Dragonology, realizes exactly how true this age-old adage is when The Black Dragon, rumored to be the most bloodthirsty beast of the Dragon Kingdom, gets his claws into her and sweeps her off her feet. Literally.
Making a deal with the dragon is easy. Resisting his cantankerous charm for two whole weeks is not. But just when Sakina’s starting to believe she might actually be the perfect match for a dragon who may or may not eat people (she doesn’t want to ask), things go wrong. An aggravating discovery made in the Dragon Kingdom stirs up old animosities. Caught in the crossfire between dragons out for blood and a Government who wants her for leverage, Sakina will have to use all the diplomatic skills she possesses to prevent carnage and save her relationship with Drake.
As for Drake, he can sum up the situation in about three words. Two, if you’re not particular about verbs. Sakina…and mine.
First 250 words:
Excerpt from The GUAN Times (June 02, 1964)“Today is the dawn of a new era.The Great War has ended. The Peaceful Treaty of 1964 has been signed. This controversial treaty entitles a dragon to ‘full possession’ of any human he recognizes as a kindred ‘mate’, provided the human suffers no deliberate harm. In return, the Dragon Kingdom shall not launch an offensive on the citizens of GUAN, but may reply in like if provoked.”
Comments on The Peaceful Treaty from all around the world
“We’re aware that some of the conditions of the treaty might seem…extreme. However, the Government pleads to all citizens of GUAN to understand that in the absence of a peaceful treaty with the dragons—at the rate the war was going on—the human race might well have been annihilated.”Official statement by the President of GUAN
“It’s barbaric. Full ‘possession’ over the human? Has the Government gone mad?”Annie Bézure, spokesperson for Women Rights Commission (WRC)
“Oh my God. That’s so hot. Have you seen how hot they are? I mean, sure, they breathe fire but that’s only in their dragon form and anyway, it makes them even hotter. Pun unintended. They’re, like, super hot, especially when human. I wouldn’t mind being their possession.”Katy, teen pop star from Bargh, capital city of GUAN (West Division)
“Ummmm……ummmmm. Ummmmm…..yeah. Ummmmmm…”Andy ‘Lion’ McDonald, reporter who was delegated to ask the dragons for a formal comment on the treaty and since his return, has been in a dazed state.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Title: Stealing Fire
Word count: 75,000
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Query:
Ella’s life for her father’s. It’s the easiest decision she ever made. When Ella traces her missing father to a decaying mansion, she's shocked to find him being held captive by a dangerous but devastatingly handsome man. He offers Ella a choice: Stay with him and her father can go free. Lucian isn't just a crazy kidnapper wrapped in eye candy. He's the head of a group of shape shifters who live as humans by day and hideous monsters by night. Desperate to discover why none of his kind have been born in centuries, Lucian stole Ella's father, a scientist who’d previously worked with Lucian’s species on the fertility crisis. When Ella shows up and is immune to Lucian's powers, he sees a chance to get answers, certain the scientist hid them in Ella’s DNA. Ella willingly trades places with her father and becomes Lucian’s prisoner. He gives her everything she could possibly want except her freedom. The more time she spends with Lucian, the harder it is to deny he’s a ruthless monster. Even so, with every sideways glance and accidental touch, she becomes more confused and Lucian comes closer to forgetting she’s not his. But their days together are limited. Lucian has enemies, and they’ll do anything to keep his species from expanding. As they close in, Lucian starts to understand the safest place for Ella is far away from him. But a true beast would never give up so easily. First 250 words:Ella shoved open the door to the sheriff’s office, slamming it against the wall. So what if all the deputies were staring? Let them know she was angry. Gus glanced up from his paperwork, a lazy grin planted on his face. “Ella, if you really want to see me, all you have to do is call,” he said with his signature drawl that had all the girls in the small Maine town of Pine Springs drooling. All the girls except Ella. “Have you found Papa?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Gus stood up from behind his desk, towering over her tiny five-four frame. “We were able to track his car down, but couldn’t find any sign of him. It’s sitting out in the middle of nowhere. He’s probably in the woods tinkering with some new invention or whatever the hell it is he does.” Ella chewed her bottom lip. “He wouldn’t run off without telling me. I called the Lexington Hotel. He never checked in, and he was supposed to present at the science symposium last weekend. I haven’t talked to him in over seven days.” Gus nodded like he was listening, but she recognized the glazed over look in his eyes. He’d already written her off. “Normally, that would all be quite alarming, but you can’t exactly call Dr. Murray ‘normal’.” She clenched her fists and took a deep breath. “Why aren’t you taking this seriously?”Gus moved to stand in front of the desk and set a hand on her shoulder.
Query:
What a dragon wants, a dragon takes. Even if it’s a girl.
Sakina Sage, twenty-five year old diplomat with a degree in Dragonology, realizes exactly how true this age-old adage is when The Black Dragon, rumored to be the most bloodthirsty beast of the Dragon Kingdom, gets his claws into her and sweeps her off her feet. Literally.
Making a deal with the dragon is easy. Resisting his cantankerous charm for two whole weeks is not. But just when Sakina’s starting to believe she might actually be the perfect match for a dragon who may or may not eat people (she doesn’t want to ask), things go wrong. An aggravating discovery made in the Dragon Kingdom stirs up old animosities. Caught in the crossfire between dragons out for blood and a Government who wants her for leverage, Sakina will have to use all the diplomatic skills she possesses to prevent carnage and save her relationship with Drake.
As for Drake, he can sum up the situation in about three words. Two, if you’re not particular about verbs. Sakina…and mine.
First 250 words:
Excerpt from The GUAN Times (June 02, 1964)“Today is the dawn of a new era.The Great War has ended. The Peaceful Treaty of 1964 has been signed. This controversial treaty entitles a dragon to ‘full possession’ of any human he recognizes as a kindred ‘mate’, provided the human suffers no deliberate harm. In return, the Dragon Kingdom shall not launch an offensive on the citizens of GUAN, but may reply in like if provoked.”
Comments on The Peaceful Treaty from all around the world
“We’re aware that some of the conditions of the treaty might seem…extreme. However, the Government pleads to all citizens of GUAN to understand that in the absence of a peaceful treaty with the dragons—at the rate the war was going on—the human race might well have been annihilated.”Official statement by the President of GUAN
“It’s barbaric. Full ‘possession’ over the human? Has the Government gone mad?”Annie Bézure, spokesperson for Women Rights Commission (WRC)
“Oh my God. That’s so hot. Have you seen how hot they are? I mean, sure, they breathe fire but that’s only in their dragon form and anyway, it makes them even hotter. Pun unintended. They’re, like, super hot, especially when human. I wouldn’t mind being their possession.”Katy, teen pop star from Bargh, capital city of GUAN (West Division)
“Ummmm……ummmmm. Ummmmm…..yeah. Ummmmmm…”Andy ‘Lion’ McDonald, reporter who was delegated to ask the dragons for a formal comment on the treaty and since his return, has been in a dazed state.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Title: Stealing Fire
Word count: 75,000
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Query:
Ella’s life for her father’s. It’s the easiest decision she ever made. When Ella traces her missing father to a decaying mansion, she's shocked to find him being held captive by a dangerous but devastatingly handsome man. He offers Ella a choice: Stay with him and her father can go free. Lucian isn't just a crazy kidnapper wrapped in eye candy. He's the head of a group of shape shifters who live as humans by day and hideous monsters by night. Desperate to discover why none of his kind have been born in centuries, Lucian stole Ella's father, a scientist who’d previously worked with Lucian’s species on the fertility crisis. When Ella shows up and is immune to Lucian's powers, he sees a chance to get answers, certain the scientist hid them in Ella’s DNA. Ella willingly trades places with her father and becomes Lucian’s prisoner. He gives her everything she could possibly want except her freedom. The more time she spends with Lucian, the harder it is to deny he’s a ruthless monster. Even so, with every sideways glance and accidental touch, she becomes more confused and Lucian comes closer to forgetting she’s not his. But their days together are limited. Lucian has enemies, and they’ll do anything to keep his species from expanding. As they close in, Lucian starts to understand the safest place for Ella is far away from him. But a true beast would never give up so easily. First 250 words:Ella shoved open the door to the sheriff’s office, slamming it against the wall. So what if all the deputies were staring? Let them know she was angry. Gus glanced up from his paperwork, a lazy grin planted on his face. “Ella, if you really want to see me, all you have to do is call,” he said with his signature drawl that had all the girls in the small Maine town of Pine Springs drooling. All the girls except Ella. “Have you found Papa?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Gus stood up from behind his desk, towering over her tiny five-four frame. “We were able to track his car down, but couldn’t find any sign of him. It’s sitting out in the middle of nowhere. He’s probably in the woods tinkering with some new invention or whatever the hell it is he does.” Ella chewed her bottom lip. “He wouldn’t run off without telling me. I called the Lexington Hotel. He never checked in, and he was supposed to present at the science symposium last weekend. I haven’t talked to him in over seven days.” Gus nodded like he was listening, but she recognized the glazed over look in his eyes. He’d already written her off. “Normally, that would all be quite alarming, but you can’t exactly call Dr. Murray ‘normal’.” She clenched her fists and took a deep breath. “Why aren’t you taking this seriously?”Gus moved to stand in front of the desk and set a hand on her shoulder.
