Belly Peterson's Blog, page 2

foodie

he spends all his time
with a ripe gorgonzola
that he’s named Dick Cheese

after the storm

building sandcastles
not far from a dragon’s skull
alone on the beach

69 Sexual Nightmares - Available Now!

[image error] 69 Sexual Nightmares

This collection contains senryu, tanka & haiku poems about postmortem erections, hungry plumbers, venereal diseases, peeping Toms, talking dirty, porn addiction, yiffing, scary public restrooms, vagina dentata, inter-species coupling, cheese fetishes, sexy demons, workplace voyeurism, girl cooties, slug intercourse, fruit and vegetable penetration, naked snake people, and filthy European paperbacks.



Purchase the book:
Amazon / Smashwords

69 Sexual Nightmares!

[image error] 69 Sexual Nightmares

This collection contains senryu, tanka & haiku poems about postmortem erections, hungry plumbers, venereal diseases, peeping Toms, talking dirty, porn addiction, yiffing, scary public restrooms, vagina dentata, inter-species coupling, cheese fetishes, sexy demons, workplace voyeurism, girl cooties, slug intercourse, fruit and vegetable penetration, naked snake people, and filthy European paperbacks.

CUMMING SOON!

xeno(kafka)phobe

it’s dark across the street
a dog’s growling on the edge
of my neighbor’s lawn
his owner talks to himself
in an unknown foreign tongue

scary situation

I’m out on the porch
and there is no one out here
at this time of night

99 Horrible Things!: FREE eBook Download!

99 Horrible Things!

This collection contains senryu & haiku poems about dilapidated housing projects, pink eye, a dog abandoned in a swimming pool, robot refugees, evil folk magic, gigging frogs, coughing consumptives, leg braces, Frankenstein’s monster, sales calls, disfiguring diseases, a really naughty postage stamp, eating pistachios, rubbing a cockroach, autopsies, villainous squirrels, frottage, crying in the rain, hysterical paroxysm, a serial killer, a call girl, ducks covered in plaid and oil-based paint, werewolves, murder, suicide, BBQ potato chips, hospice, sexual perversion, pimples, e-mail, and losing your job.

99 Horrible Things! is FREE to download at the following online book retailers:
Barnes & Noble / Sony Reader Store / Kobo / Apple iBooks / Smashwords

maintenance unit five: resigned to serve

I blame the robots
but it don’t do any good
I’m their fix-it guy

sunday at m's

he’s taking a break
from folding clothes and towels
to wind his wristwatch

(for m. flynn ragland)

BELLY PETERSON IS GOING TO MARS!

Well, not exactly. My haiku below will be going to Mars.

geodesic homes
along Bradbury Landing
—prime real estate

I entered a contest that will have the ultimate result of the above haiku being sent to Mars on NASA’s MAVEN spacecraft. It didn't get enough votes to win the contest, but, as it turns out, the contest holders decided that all entries that garnered at least two (2) votes will be included on the DVD they will be hurling at the red planet.

Which brings me to the below statement made in this blog post.

My haiku goes to Mars, you get a FREE eBook!
What does this mean now? I didn't win the contest, but my haiku is going to Mars.

Well, after re-reading my earlier post, it looks like it means you'll be getting a FREE eBook after all. Technically, the post does not say that I had to win the contest. It says if my haiku goes to Mars, you get a FREE eBook.

So, I'm going to honor that.

What kind of eBook am I talking about?
It will be an ‘autobiographical’ account of my adventures on Mars. The story will be made available for all humans to download in their favorite eBook format (ePub, Mobi, & PDF). It will be in the bizarro fiction category, of novelette length (between 7,500 & 17,500 words), and will have a cover and interior illustrations designed by yours truly.

When will the eBook be available for download?
The eBook will be available for download on the day MAVEN is launched into space (or as close as administratively possible). This has been scheduled to occur sometime between November 18th and December 7th of 2013.

How long will the eBook be available for FREE?
Form the MAVEN Wikipedia entry: Assuming a November 18 launch, MAVEN will be inserted on September 22, 2014 into an elliptic orbit 6,200 km (3,900 mi) by 150 km (93 mi) above the planet's surface.
So, the eBook will be available for FREE until the MAVEN spacecraft is inserted into an elliptic orbit above Mars' surface (so tentatively, 9/22/14). If, for some reason there are huge delays, or if (science forbid!) the mission fails, and the spacecraft never reaches Mars, I'll stick to 9/22/14 as the FREE giveaway end-date.

How will you know when the eBook is published?
I'll announce it here. If you'd like to get an e-mail letting you know it's available, subscribe to this blog via e-mail and you'll get a notification.

Congratulations to all the contest winners!