C.N. Bring's Blog: The Celia Kelly Series

KIDS AND THE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT

In today’s world everyone is obsessed with being the best and with that comes pressure. It can begin very early in life. Although we should always strive to give our best and be our best, there are times we are all going to fall short. Those can be some of our greatest life lessons.

I love this article by Jennifer Deibel from a great blog called The Better Mom.  Be sure to check it out for the entire article! Here are few tips  Jennifer Deibel shares to help your kids when feeling the pressure to be perfect.

1. Focus on the effort, not just the result. Whether your child has come home with a straight A report card, or is distraught because her art project just won’t turn out right, praise her effort. Recognize how hard she has worked. Help her see that she should be proud of herself for persevering and not giving up when things got tough. Recognize how disappointing it can be when things don’t quite turn out how we envisioned in our heads, but encourage her that lessons learned in the process are what shape her and help her to grow. This also helps to guard against the child finding his value/identity in the constant positive (or negative) outcomes of his various endeavors.

2. Share your less than perfect moments. It’s okay for our kids to see us fail; in fact, I think it’s really good for them! When they see us in less than perfect moments, they can then see how to handle those times. Be willing, also, to talk with them about it. For example, I make specials cakes for our kids’ birthdays each year. In the 10 years I’ve been a mom, I think I’ve had one cake actually turn out the way I had envisioned. I’ve been able to talk through with my children about how I had imagined it, and that sometimes things just don’t turn out, no matter how hard we work at it. I remind them that the reason I make these cakes is because I love them (my kids), and they love the cakes. As long as they enjoy the cake and feel loved, the exact end result doesn’t matter.

3. Study people from the Bible who God used despite their imperfections. David was an adulterer, Moses had a speech impediment, Peter had a pride issue. God has always used less than perfect people in order to carry out His extraordinary, incredibly perfect plan. Sometimes it can be very freeing to remember that God loves and works in/through us just as we are; and does not love/work through us any less when things don’t go the way we had hoped/planned.

4. Model how to not take yourself so seriously/laugh at yourself. Sometimes our kids just need to know it’s okay not to be angry at themselves every time something goes awry. One time, I majorly botched up a recipe and dinner was nearly inedible. Everyone at the table was trying to politely choke it down (kind of like when Rachel made the English Trifle on Friends). Finally, I burst into laughter and declared dinner a disaster. When our kids see that sometimes it’s okay to just laugh it off and move on, it frees their mind and energy for the really important things.

http://www.thebettermom.com/2015/4/19/freeing-kids-from-the-pressure-of-perfect

STRONG WOMAN FRANCES NELSON

My mom, Frances Nelson, holding a picture of my late father, Arthur Nelson Jr.  

I was very fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. God gave me two amazing people for parents. My mother, Frances Nelson, is truly the most positive person I have ever met to date. Her outlook on everything has always been both a comfort and an inspiration to me. And if you need a prayer warrior, my mom is the one to call! Recently she was asked to give her testimony, sharing how she met Jesus as her Lord and Savior. I am honored to share it with you.

 

My Testimony By Frances Nelson

The early years of my life I lived in a Mormon community in Idaho. I don’t recall my parents ever attending church. When I was 12 years old the government bought my parents farm because it was right in the middle of what became Palisades Dam. We moved to Montana.

I believed in Heaven because I thought if I was good enough I would go to Heaven. When we moved to Montana mom decided that we were going to attend church, not a particular church, but the closest one. Even though we didn’t know much about God, looking back, I can see God’s leading us to have the opportunity to accepting Jesus as Savior. Sometimes God just needs to get our attention.

One day our house burned down and this wonderful Christian family that we met at church, the Kaufmans, took us into their home until we could rebuild our house. They took every opportunity to tell us about Jesus. Their lives were a real testimony for Christ and because this family was willing to be a witness for Christ, my parents and my brother became believers. And eventually on December 7, 1953, I too asked forgiveness of my sins and accepted Christ as my Savior and Lord. That was the beginning of my 60+ years of my journey with the Lord in my life.

A few months ago God gave me my most recent opportunity to be a witness for Christ. I occasionally take plane/bus trips because I don’t like to drive and on this particular trip I prayed that God would put someone in my path that I could be a witness to.

In Missoula I met a woman who was troubled about her marriage and husband. He had serious health problems and she was concerned about his spiritual welfare. She asked me if I would pray for him several times during the ride to Spokane. We prayed for her husband and her marriage. She also mentioned she didn’t own a Bible. When packing for my trip, for some reason I didn’t know at the time, I put in my carry-on an extra New Testament. I was able to give her a Bible. She seemed very eager to start reading it.

We had a wonderful time talking and praying on that trip and I was reminded that we need to pray for opportunities to witness, even if only to be an encourager and to be faithful to seize those opportunities just as the Kaufmans did those many years ago.

I’m so thankful and Praise God that Christ came into my life.

 

 

 

WHAT FREEDOM MEANS TO ME

 

What Freedom Means To Me

by Madie Olsen, 8th grade Colton, Oregon

When you hear the word freedom what do you think of? Do you think of eagles and the flag? Or maybe you think of the freedom to speak and say what you feel. Personally I think of all of these  things but I also think of so much more.

Freedom to me means being able to express yourself, such as wearing what you want, and not being told to change. Expressing how you feel is also freedom to me. Everyone should have the freedom to wear what they like and say what they’d like. People shouldn’t be judged for what they wear or how they feel, because everyone’s free to express themselves.

I feel that freedom means having equal rights. Such as having both men and woman voting. Also some people think that only men should play football, but it’s a free country, so they can’t stop girls from playing it too:

When I think of freedom I also think of the soldiers who fought for our freedom, and are still fighting to keep us free and safe. Freedom is a very precious thing, and I’m so thankful to have an army that realizes that.

To be free is an amazing feeling to me, and I get this feeling whenever I go hunting with my dad. Hunting is something that takes my mind off of everything else going on at home. When I’m with my dad in the great outdoors, I can see the sun rising and hear the birds chirping, also I breathe in the chilled air. At that moment I can just see the word “freedom” in my mind. Freedom to me means being able to enjoy the little things without worrying about war or anything else, and also enjoying these things with the ones I love.

Freedom means everything to me.

Thank you to all our veterans out there who were part of persevering the freedom we all share today!

STRONG WOMAN DENISE JOHNSON

Denise E Johnson

Denise Johnson and her husband of twenty-eight years, Ron, live in Billings Montana. Their oldest son is in the US Navy, currently serving in Japan but will complete his contract soon and plans to pursue his interests as an electrician in the civilian world. Their daughter is a CNA and is expecting her first child and their youngest son is a junior in high school and still determining his calling in life.

I grew up hanging out on the playground in grade school with this lady. Who knew our paths would cross once again as adults and we would both be authors. I am honored to share her journey with you. She is an example of how our God is a big God and always sees us through to the other side in a big way.

What do you do for a living? I work with the doctors who created Proactiv in their new company which focuses on dermatology grade, anti-age skincare, Rodan + Fields. The best part of my work is that I can work around my busy children, volunteering, writing, and speaking engagements as I help educate the public on child welfare issues in our country.

What was your training and education? Although I have a Bachelor of Science in Family Consumer Science with a Marketing emphasis, most of my training and education came through a life of working with people. I also credit my wonderful parents for teaching us the value of honoring our word, working hard, and putting our trust in a higher power.

What is your idea of strength? There is no strength without God. True strength comes when I’m weakest and reliant on God. He always shows up in a mighty way and gives me the strength to persevere. I’ve often heard that God will never you give you more than you can handle but the truth is, God will never give you more than He can handle. It’s not about our strength but about His.

Who inspired you as you were growing up? My grandmother was my greatest inspiration. She always greeted us with a smile that made you feel like she’d been waiting all day to see you. Her kitchen was filled with the aroma of sweet breads and cookies that were often lined up on the counter, wrapped to go to a friend who was in the hospital or an elderly friend. She delighted in patiently showing my sister and me how to bake, making sure we got to lick the beaters. Grandma loved God and had a heart for serving, even making the communion bread for church.

Some of the most exciting news and saddest times were spent around Grandma’s kitchen table where we shared good conversation, wonderful advice and much love. Grandma is now with the Lord but I can almost imagine how busy she is doing the Lord’s work in heaven. And when I join her there, I’m pretty sure she’ll be waiting at the kitchen table with a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls.

Does your faith play a part in who you are and what you do? My faith is everything. I tell my loves ones, “The part that you don’t like about me; that irritated, tired, impatient part…well, that’s me. But the part you like; the loving, patient, kind parts…well, that’s Jesus.” I hope that everyday there is less of me and more of Jesus in my actions, words, and deed. I know that “faith is an assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” but God is very real and very present to me. I see Him in my children, in the beauty of the world around me that He created for our pleasure. I hear Him in the quiet nudges to help others. It seems like His fingerprints are on every part of my life. I know that I will someday be in heaven with Jesus, not because of anything I do but because of what He did by dying on the cross. Heaven is a certainty for me, not a hope. I would be nothing without my faith in Christ.

What was the most difficult struggle you had to overcome along the way? I’ve had many difficult times. Two of my dearest friends died when I was  16. My father died of cancer at a young age. We struggled with infertility. A dear friend betrayed us when our open adoption fell apart. The loss of children. A business partner embezzled our life savings. We lost our daughter-in-law and granddaughter and watched it tear apart our son.

Of these challenges though, having to give up a child was very difficult. We always wanted children but struggled with infertility. Then, four years into our marriage we were asked to adopt the unborn child of my college roommate. It was a joyous time as we prepared for this long awaited baby. When Michael was born, our lives finally felt complete. But our joy turned to tragedy when his birth mom changed her mind and reclaimed our son when he was a month old.

That was a turning point in my life and because it was so profound, I wrote our story, Love To Give,  and recently published it. It’s a story of grief, triumph, God’s faithfulness, and staying focused on the dreams that God gives us.

Did you ever want to give up? What kept you going? Absolutely. But what kept me going was reflecting upon how God had brought me through trials and in the process, grew me in my relationship with him. I learned to keep hard times in perspective because they are seasonal, just like the joyful times. This too shall pass…

What has been the most rewarding experience in your life/and or career? Why? Being a mother. Through the many ups and downs of motherhood, I’ve gotten a glimpse of how God sees us as His children. We must disappoint him at times with bad decisions. We must grieve him at times with our rebellion. And surely we delight him at times with our obedience. There is nothing more rewarding or exhausting than being a mother. Motherhood is probably the closest we’ll get to understanding the degree to which we’re loved by God and yet, even then, it’s but a shadow of the love He has for us.

Who is one of the strongest women you know today and why? My daughter Kassi. Kassi was always a strong-willed child and tested me to my limits on many occasions. As she was growing up, I often reminded myself that her independent, strong spirit would serve her well someday. Kassi is now 19 and after a season of rebellion, found herself pregnant. As a Christian mom, initially there were waves of grief. This wasn’t supposed to happen in our home. I didn’t want my daughter to live the hard life of single mother.

In the months that Kassi has carried her baby, the strength she exhibited has been remarkable. Kassi chose to cherish her baby’s life and take responsibility for him. She has bravely carried herself with confidence and has been thoughtful of others. She’s taught me to be stronger too, knowing that if my amazing daughter can face this with courage, then so can I.

Kassi is going to be an amazing Mom. God is writing a beautiful story. He knows what she is going through because He is familiar with unplanned pregnancies. After all, He chose to use an unplanned pregnancy to save the world. I’m not sure what God has planned for our little grandson but one thing is sure; this little boy is going to be deeply loved and cared for because God placed him with a mama who has shown strength and courage in the face of one of the toughest roles in our culture today, that of a single mom.

What is your advice to other women out there who are facing adversity on their own personal journey? Never forget that God is bigger than any problem you’re facing. As we go through struggles, often all we see is the problem. But God’s perspective is so much bigger. A great analogy is this: As a mother, I remember discussions about curfew and how unfair, unjust, not like the other mothers, too strict, etc., I was. But, as a parent, I had a different perspective than my children. I knew the dangers and risks.

As children of God, often we can feel the same frustrations with adversity as our children do in curfews. But God our father has a different perspective. He knows our future and that by allowing us to go through challenges, he is growing us. One thing we can always be sure of is, “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” Romans 8:28. So if God has allowed adversity in our lives, He will use it for our good and His glory. Use adversity as an excuse to draw closer to God, knowing that His time and purpose is always right. Because of adversity, we will be better prepared for kingdom work.

 

LOVE TO GIVE

Denise recently published her book “Love To Give”. She originally published it in 2007 as a gift to her children but after much encouragement, decided to revise and publish it in 2015. It is the story of their unique struggle to become parents and their journey of faith in the process. For anyone who has ever dealt with infertility, adoption, loss, or has a passion to help others through these issues, it’s a must read. Additionally, the Epilogue contains current issues with regard to child welfare, including the story of friends who are living every parent’s worst nightmare. There is an important message that needs to be shared so be sure you get a copy of this book.

Paperback

E-book

Website

 

Weekly Strong Tip- Strength In God

Be Confident In God’s Strength

BY RICK WARREN — MAY 21, 2014

Here is a devotional from Rick Warren. This caught my eye to share because he starts out with my favorite verse! Go HERE for the whole devotion.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 NASB)

God wants you confident in the truth that, through him, all things are possible.

Every day of your life, you have a choice:

You can focus on the obstacles before you, or …
You can be confident in the truth that God is pouring his strength into you.

When the Israelites first approached the borders of Canaan, Moses sent scouts into the Promised Land to assess the situation. Ten of the scouts came back with reports that focused on the giants in the land, men so big and powerful the scouts feared they could not be defeated.

However, two of the scouts remained confident in the promise from God that he would hand the land over to the Israelites. One of those scouts, Caleb, silenced the others when he said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it” (Numbers 13:30b NIV). He was focused on the magnitude of God and not the magnitude of any giant challenge ahead.

Today, you may be facing giants that challenge your faith. Some of the giants crowd around you — giants of time and energy, finances and resources, fear and faithlessness.

God wants you confident that he’s pouring his strength into you so you can do whatever it takes to overcome these obstacles. He says you can take possession of your promised mission; you can be certain you can do it because God is strengthening you.

Consider this: God wants to build up your faith, and one way he’ll do it is by showing you how, together with him, it is possible to defeat the giants that keep you from moving into your promised mission.

STRONG WOMAN TERRI ANNE PASKE

Terri and Chuck Paske

LIFE HAPPENS

I met strong woman Terri Ann (Trott) Paske through my mother Fran Nelson. Terri��is an example of how no matter��what happens in life, God gives us strength to��get us through. ��As a young child��she��experienced physical illness and pain which led to major surgery to make repairs to a congenital defect. As a teenager she struggled with��a reading disability. As she tried to find her niche and acceptance she discovered��art and the gift of��public speaking.

Terri lives with her husband Chuck Paske in Helena, Montana. Though they dreamed of having children right away, in order to make that dream happen it would take medical intervention. Today they have��four children and ten grandchildren.

Terri has been a jack of all trades.She has worked in a hunting lodge in Alaska, gift wrapped for Christmas, was a tour guide, college office receptionist, worked in a flower shop also volunteered in military clinics and hospitals as greeter, chaperon and assisted at an emergency evacuation center, taught private art classes to both children and adults on military bases. That’s not all: she also volunteered at a pregnancy center, in civilian as greeter and received the emergency calls when clinic was closed, volunteered at schools as teacher helper/art teacher substitute and worked as volunteer and then was on paid staff for almost 9 years as church receptionist and administrative assistant.

What was your training and education?

I attended college for one and��1/2 years, seeking a degree in art education degree with a minor in PE. I have not had any formal education since that time, some 47 years ago. I have picked up skills along the way by being mentored by some very wonderful ladies and by the unending encouragement of my husband, and from my sisters,who each ��received a college degree. The real circumstances of life also are my training grounds.

What is your idea of strength?

Strength comes first from God, harbored within self, and played out when faith is needed to push forward when a difficult circumstance ���hits you head��on���.

Who inspired you as you were growing up?

My mother and my paternal grandmother

Does your faith play a part in who you are and what you do?

For sure! My faith, which is the personal relationship I have with Christ as my Lord, King of Kings, and the mighty One who enables and keeps me going. Christ provides all that I am able to do and all I rely on each morning , through the day and into the night.

What was the most difficult struggle you had to overcome along the way?

Struggles come in many forms. Getting through��a difficult struggle, I think, requires a building block of struggles. God is so gracious, He prepares you by the things you have come through��and builds on each one so that when you are blown out of the water, when the next storm comes, you know you will be ok because��He has already brought you through so many other storms. ��With each struggle��I grew in faith without even knowing it��at the time.

When��our first child arrived we were in the military. When our second child arrived, I was in for a ride I never would have guessed or chosen. By the time she was 10 days old, she was critically ill with spinal meningitis. She pulled through����and I learned to pray like never before and this child and her severe medical issues built my faith and made me stronger each day.��But when she was in for her 6 week checkup, it was my turn. I was in the hospital for major surgery, gallbladder the ���old��� way.

When Chuck arrived home after a 15 month tour and we moved on to the next duty station in the ���Bible Belt���, as only God would direct. I came to understand more what it met to have a ���personal relationship��� with Christ. ��We were also expecting our next child. I was living a healthy, fun and normal life with ��husband home, ��kids healthy and looking forward to number four. I had found Bible Study and it was a wonderful way to learn more about Jesus. I knew what I had to do. I��gave my heart to Jesus one morning just as I went into early labor. ��As I gave my life and the safety of my baby’s delivery to God, I knew��that we were in God���s hands as complications arose. It turned out I was dying and so was the baby.��The doctor and nurses said to us, after our baby boy was born���”you were both down to seconds” and they labeled us both as miracles!

Now I had a new found strength and understanding of Christ in my life and I studied, read and prayed and grew in my faith and the understanding of a personal relationship in Christ, I no longer had a religion, I had a relationship.

By the time we made another move and our second child was 4 yrs. old, she started having grand mal seizures. Eventually they could only pinpoint these as being caused by the effects of the spinal meningitis. She had these seizures in various forms for the next 32 years.

Then came the day that everything stood still for our family. I had sent all kids off to school (by this time 2 in high school and 2 in Jr college), planned a fun day with a friend and as I was getting ready to join my friend for lunch, I received a call from the hospital on post. My husband was being admitted for heart trouble. ��I found��find him in the ICU where he would be for most of two weeks, getting stable before a double bypass surgery could be performed. He survived, as did I and the kids, but it totally changed our life and our home. Within the next 6 months he recovered, but was also medically retired and we prepared to move again. Praising God that all this had occurred while on active duty and so we were taken care of with our��financial and practical needs. ��Adjusting to civilian life was not as easy. But soon life was ���normal��� and with the usual life of joys and disappointments. Kids married, grandkids arrived, and life was great!

Then it happened. After many ups and downs, many new prescribed drugs and surgery, nothing was stopping the seizures for our dear 2nd daughter Jeni, her heart was being affected by them and one morning in Jan of 09, she woke up having trouble breathing, feeling nauseated and going into a seizure. Her brother and I tried all we could do, the paramedics were called, but Jeni slipped into glory. I was in the living room with one of the first responders, a young neighbor ��woman, not much older than Jen, when they came out to tell me they could take Jen to the hospital, but they were not getting any response and they had been trying for some time.��I then heard the question no one ever wants to hear ���would I give permission to let her go or keep on working on her���?

The radio was playing There Will Be a Day, and I felt such peace for I knew Jen to already be with the Lord, that I calmly said ���let her go���as she is with Jesus now���. Then the radio played ��� It���s Friday, but Sunday���s Coming���. ��I was surrounded by God and His grace and love at a difficult time���for this young EMT was also a Christian. God is��good and ever present and knowing Jeni loved Him so much and was now with Him, now it makes me smile.

Within a few months, our third daughter was expecting her fourth child. Now that would seem like celebration, but I was gripped with fear, as she had extreme pregnancies and we��nearly��lost her and��the previous three babies who were ��premature. But once again, prayer took over and faith grew as she delivered a small but healthy baby girl and she too came through it and fully recovered. Life was good again.

Not quite two years from Jen���s death, our son in law shot our daughter in a gun accident. Anne survived, but I barely did��and��God worked on me. Eventually I was able to forgive and after an almost two year rift we were restored to a relationship with our son in law. I know my reaction was from the fear of losing another child, but God had spared me of this heartache. It took another turn of events for this relationship to be fully restored.

It was in the fall of 2012 that my husband and I were to have made our ���retirement��� plans. I had stopped working at the church and he was finding more freedom and we were taking our new motorhome to the Oregon coast for some good old R and R. We stopped in Washington to visit our oldest daughter Kari and watch her son���s soccer game. We had only planned on a evening there, then on our way to the coast. ��Kari asked if we could change plans��to watch��the kids as she had to go in for a CAT scan and her husband had to go in a different direction to play in a symphony. We said of course, and headed back to her home. That evening after the play the kids went to bed, and we went for coffee with Kari and James and she told us she had��cancer. It took my breath away!��We canceled the rest of the trip to Oregon and stayed with the kids as Kari was headed to Seattle to a specialist and surgery. It was stage four uterine cancer and it had already spread. We gathered the kids,��prayed and held each other and trusted God to be in the center of this storm. We��heard a song ���Arms that Hold the Universe��� and as we all listened to the words and held each other tight, we claimed our trust and hope in Christ.

Thus began our ride into another ��difficult period in our lives. Kari was a real trooper and although��her days were far from��normal, from that moment on, there were many good, fun and wonderful times in the next 7 months. She underwent two surgeries, weekly chemo and much pain, but she kept her love for her husband, kids, us and her faith never once waivered. She smiled more than she cried and she sang praises more than sadness. Her Dad and I had made the decision, with her and her husband���s approval, to stay and care for her and her family.

Every time we went to the Cancer Center for treatment, she would look around and say, ��“Oh mom, thank you for being here with me” I felt so bad for these people who come in and have no one! ���I am so thankful for you and Dad and all you are doing for me and my family���.

But I thank God for His loving way of speaking peace and encouragement to us through��music. Kari had a degree in music, taught music and had been singing in church since she was a very young girl and music had a way of touching our life and deep to our souls. One night I heard Plumb���s song ���Need You Now”.�� In the morning,as I was getting ready to share it with Kari, before I could finish my sentence she said she��also heard it��and was�� touched in her spirit as it spoke words that she was feeling and living. It became ���her song���. ��I was there for all but 1 chemo treatment in the 7 months that she fought the cancer before she went home to be with the Lord.

Did you ever want to give up? What kept you going?

I would be lying and a fool if I were to say I never wanted to give up. Yes I wanted to stop these waves of extreme happenings in my life.But Christ, (���In Christ Alone���) kept me going. I have grown to love that song, it has more meaning for me as the years pass by.

What has been the most rewarding experience in your life/and or career? Why?

Having a wonderful, caring and supportive Christian husband, 4 beautiful children, each knowing the Lord, 10 grandkids, all who make me proud but also who bring such joy no matter the circumstance��� I have had so many rewarding and varied experiences in my life, not sure I could even begin to mark them all. First would be to have come to an understanding of Christ in my life, having a relationship and not a religion. Living in Europe, being active in Bible Studies on every military post, city or town we lived in, meeting heads of State, speaking to others about Christ and speaking to big groups and little groups in and out of the Chapel system. Mentoring young military wives and young women through the years (some of whom are now grandmothers!). Being able to take our family to amazing places in Europe and in the US. Having been instrumental in working with military families in need as they were evacuated from their posts in the Philippines. Being a state leader of a national conservative action group. Lobbying at the state legislature for several years. Attending national conferences and personally meeting many national leaders and folks of note. Working hands on in the church, being a Women���s ministry leader a total of 36 years, leading women to or towards Christ through study and mentoring. Serving others in times of need, funerals and��weddings.

Trying to live: First Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God���s will for you in Christ Jesus.���

Who is one of the strongest women you know today and why?

My girls, Kari and Jennifer, as they grew in their love of the Lord and both walked proud and without fear as they entered the glory of Heaven.

Fran Nelson is one of the dearest, and strongest as she showed me how to forgive by showing such forgiveness to the family whose husband/father took her own husbands life.

Betty Babcock, former First Lady of Montana, who showed me the love of a mom when my mom was gone. Through my life with all it’s��hurts with��the loss of a daughter, struggle of health, Betty never stopped��mentoring me. Her example in politics as a Christian in politics t crossed all avenues of life and party.

Montana Governor Judy Martz showed it is more than possible to succeed without a college degree and having a personal relationship with Christ will carry you farther than the sheepskin.

Phyllis Schlafly, who well into her late 80���s continue to learn and speak for the conservative Christian family values. After she raised her six children and went on to get a Constitutional law degree and was one of President Reagan���s advisors.

What is your advice to other women out there who are facing adversity on their own personal journey?

Never Give Up! Never give in! Always Keep your eyes on Christ and His glory and grace. Trust and believe that whatever the ���storm��� you are in, He and He alone will bring you through��it. Daily read God���s word, listen to praise music and pray, always pray! Look for someone to walk with you who has gone down a similar path and survived. Be honest with yourself, don’t put yourself down or shortchange your own abilities, don’t think you can fix everything, be willing to reach out for help. Use GRACE on yourself and look forward with hope and joy for tomorrow. Find a song or scripture that you can hold onto and draw on in your tired, desperate state. Go in Faith! Always FAITH!

5 WAYS TO MAKE MARRIAGE BETTER

My guy going on 34 years! CN and Glen Bring

 

Saw this and had to pass it on! Love it!

5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE BETTER

by��By Ashleigh Slater via��kirkcameron.com

I once tried to convince my husband Ted that we should apply for The Amazing Race together. I envisioned the ultimate couple���s retreat: world travel, dedicated time away and an array of team-building ���activities.���

Ted didn���t exactly jump at the idea.

Looking back, it���s good he didn���t encourage me. If cast, I���d most likely have gotten us lost (being the horrible navigator that I am) and in a fight in some foreign country on national television.

While we���ll never be teammates on the show, I love what The Amazing Race reminds me of when it comes to marriage. I find that most couples who win are for each other. They work together in order to succeed. And I believe that���s vital for a strong relationship.

So how can a couple better embrace marriage as a team? Here are five great ways.

1. Get on the same page.

Ted and I have discussed what we want the next few years to hold for us. For example, we want to pay off debt and be more purposeful when it comes to romance. What about you? Are you and your spouse on the same page when it comes to future hopes and dreams?

One way you can do so is to brainstorm together. Grab some paper and pens. Individually make lists of what you desire the future to hold for you.

Next, come together and discuss your lists. What items are common? Which are unique? What are some practical ways you can work together to accomplish these things?

2. Enjoy something new.

I used to not like Thai food. Now it���s one of my favorite cuisines. What brought about this change? I decided to share in Ted���s ���joy��� of it despite my dislike. As a result, I discovered I���d eaten at the wrong Thai places in the past.

This taught me the importance of stepping out of my comfort zone and trying things that Ted likes, even if I���m convinced I won���t like them. These experiences have not only enriched me as an individual, but they���ve gone far in helping Ted and me grow together.

You can do the same. Maybe it���s not Thai food. Maybe it���s not food at all. Perhaps it���s a vacation spot or a hiking trail. Whether you end up with a new favorite or not, I guarantee you���ll find your relational bond strengthened just because you decided to lay your own comfort aside and share in the other���s joy.

3. Choose lightheartedness.

We ended 2014 with much coughing and sneezing. A week before Christmas, we were hit by an upper respiratory infection that lingered��� and lingered.

Do you know what we did? Laugh. We chose to hear the chorus of coughs that resounded through our house not as an inconvenience that threatened to ruin our holidays, but as part of our end-of-the-year story. A chapter that we decided would be marked by chicken noodle soup and movie nights rather than frustration.

Decide together to approach life with a sense of lightheartedness. While this points to the ability to laugh together, don���t stop there. Also choose to practice a lightheartedness that comes from a heart that���s not weighed down by grudges.

If you���ve kept a list of the ways your spouse has failed, disappointed, or hurt you in the past, determine to let these things go ��� either personally or, if they���re deeper issues, through the help of a trusted counselor ��� and decide that you won���t keep a ���record of wrongs.��� That instead, you���ll strive to not be so easily offended and to do your best to overlook offenses.

4. Make peace with the past.

Last year, Ted���s blood pressure skyrocketed into dangerous levels. His doctor struggled to bring it down. His meds were increased and he underwent a number of tests. During this time, one of our daughters started breaking out in an inexplicable rash that resulted in multiple trips to the allergist and I had to have several moles removed. It was stressful to say the least.

Can you relate? Maybe the last few years have been rough on your marriage as a result of financial issues, health challenges, or relational struggles. While it���s likely you���ll have to face some of these issues again, determine to make peace with these events. What I mean by that is this: Decide together to see these challenges not just as annoyances, but as opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple.

What���s one way you can do this?

Sit down together and reflect. Talk about how the struggles wore on you, and also how they made you stronger. Resolve that in the future, you���ll try to face difficulties with an ���us vs. the problem��� attitude instead of a ���me vs. you��� mentality.

5. Fight as allies.

For us, conflict over the years has been inevitable. It���s never been about whether we will fight, but about how and when we fight. We���ve learned that in order to maintain that ���us vs. the problem��� attitude rather than the ���me vs. you��� mentality, we���ve had to determine to fight as allies, not as enemies. This means doing our best to work through conflict in a way that serves to unite us and benefit the long-term health of our marriage.

How can you do the same in your relationship?

The next time you find yourself in a heated argument, consider temporarily stepping away from the conflict to give yourself room to calm down and think through the fight. As you do, make an effort to attempt to understand where your loved one is coming from. Also, be sure to consider those things for which you need to offer an apology. Taking responsibility for your part in a fight can go far in facilitating reconciliation and strengthening your team.

As couples we don���t have to win or even be on The Amazing Race to show that we���re a strong team. Decide that no matter what challenges you may face, that you���re in them together.

���������������������-Ashleigh Slater is the author of the book, Team Us: Marriage Together and the free Noisetrade ebook 5 Simple Marriage Tools You Should Know, as well as a regular contributor to a number of popular blogs and websites. With twenty years of writing experience to her credit and a master���s degree in communication, she loves to combine the power of a good story with practical application to encourage and inspire readers.

MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’ -Martin Luther King, Jr.

STRENGTH IN FAMILY

My mom with my daughter Melissa Coulier on her wedding day.

Many people have asked me who inspired me in my life. I was blessed to be raised in a Christian home by two people who loved each other and God. I saw faith and strength in action every day. I took it for granted for the most part growing up and didn���t realize how much it taught me until later in adulthood.

After high school, I raised four children; worked as a dispatcher for our local police department, worked central sterile in the OR of the local hospital and I also have an associate���s degree in criminal justice. When did I start writing? I worked on it off and on for several years for fun. After most of my children graduated and left home, I decided to work towards being published. It was a choice that would require more strength and dedication than I realized. My idea of strength is to have faith to continue through even when you don���t see how it is possible.

Faith is taking the first step even when you can���t see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King Jr.

When I was growing up I was surrounded by strong women. Grandmothers who love and served God and who were amazing examples to me. My mother was very inspiring to me. She was always there when I needed to talk or someone to pray with. One of the qualities that inspired me most was how open and giving she is. As I grew up and even to this day, I can���t remember her ever saying one bad word about anyone. She always chose to find the best in everyone, everything and every situation. If you choose to see the best, it can make it easier to get through the bad to the other side.��She taught me that attitude can be everything.

Faith is a part of everything in my life. You never know what is going to happen next. Good or bad faith in God not only helps me through, but it reminds me that there is always hope beyond any troubles. It helps put things into perspective.

One experience in which I really had to lean on my faith was when my father was killed by a hit and run drunk driver. A senseless act by a man who had several DUIs (before 3 times and you���re out law), been in jail for drugs and alcohol, lost his family, his driver���s license and��was on his way to purchase alcohol after leaving a bar. My parents lived close to a convenience store. My father was crossing the street to get the mail.

Here is the back story: The man who killed my father, they knew each other. He had been in the church my parents went to a couple of times. My father had walked up to welcome him and gave him one of those hugs my father was so famous for. My father prayed for this man. When the police finally caught up to the guy, the officer told us that he opened the door and before they could say anything, he said, ���It was Art, wasn���t it?��� My father had the opportunity to share God with this man and tell him there is hope. Did it take my father���s death and a jail sentence to understand that? I don���t suppose I���ll ever know the answer to that. But I do believe we have the responsibility to give each other hope and hope comes from God and that is exercised by faith.

My father is with the Lord now. My father served in the military, served in his church and had a long family line to be proud of. I was so blessed to have him in my life!

Family is always the most rewarding of all gifts that we are given. From my mom and dad, my brothers, to my husband and the birth of all my children and grandchildren. That is our real legacy in life. The people we love and surround ourselves with. Our faith ties it all together.

My advice to those out there who are facing adversity, check your relationship with God. Are you trying to solve adversity on your own or are you relying on Him. One of my favorite versus says it best:

��Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

��

 

 

 

THE THANKSGIVING MOM CHALLENGE

Christianity Cove | Devotions for Children | Thanksgiving Mom Challenge: 7 Mini Challenges to Make Your Kids Thankful this Thanksgiving

Adults quickly grasp the idea of counting their blessings, but without the benefit of perspective that comes with many life experiences, kids often take blessings for granted. But we want children to understand blessings and gratitude���especially at Thanksgiving!

As one mother of five put it, ���I can get my kids to say thank you for lots of things.�� I���m not sure they really feel thanks.�� They can look overjoyed for a present on a birthday or Christmas morning, but it���s directed at the object, not the giver, and truthfully, I don���t see them get many gifts that keep them grateful for more than a couple days.�� And yet, I believe genuine thankfulness is an important part of spirituality.���

The Bible does say, ���In everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you (1 Thessalonians 5:18).����� We struggle as grownups thanking God sufficiently; how can we get our kids to do it?

You can help our kids begin the journey to developing genuine thanks���and it doesn���t take a lot of lecturing and prodding!�� You can make Thanksgiving extra special this year, just by starting the right dinner table conversations in the week leading up to the Big Meal.�� Kids have very diverse schedules between school, sports, lessons, homework, etc.�� But generally speaking, kids still eat dinner at the same time and with at least one parent.

When dinnertime rolls around, turn off the TV and turn on the fun���first using our seven specific categories in which kids can feel thanks.�� Developing gratitude is fun if you keep in mind one important fact: the secret lies in the details!���� Take one category a night and make a game of breaking it down into specifics.

The more specifics you can dream up with them, the more likely it is that your kids will feel gratitude.�� When Thanksgiving finally arrives, it���s more likely you will have genuinely grateful hearts seated around your table.

Night #1���� Thanks for family: mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters.��

Since these people are the ones that children tend to take most for granted, it is a good stating place.�� But don���t just say, ���Be thankful for Mom!����� Start digging for specifics with a question, like:�� ���What are some of the things Mom does for you?

Often kids give general answers, such as ���Mom cooks my food.����� They can develop bigger attitudes of gratitude by asking, ���What does Mom cook that���s your favorite?����� When they say, ���Mom makes the best macaroni and cheese,��� their hearts will light up more.

If kids like the way Mom cleans the house, ask, ���What do you like best?�� Clean sheets?�� Clean clothes?�� The vacuum lines in all the carpets after she vacuums?����� Mention enough specifics, and kids will catch on and think of some of their own.�� Praise the really creative ones and the very specific ones.�� Do the same with fathers, brothers, sisters and grandparents.

Night #2�� Thanks for shelter.��

Children love their homes, and many who have modest homes consider them a palace. By asking what they love most about their homes you can lead them to a variety of fun answers.���� Warmth is a priority when it���s cold outside.�� While many homes do not have a fireplace, those who do will probably be thankful for it.���� Other things include shelter from rain, their bed with warm blankets to sleep under, light from electricity, and in the summer, screens to let the air in and to keep the bugs out.

Discuss each room in your house and what kids like most about it.�� It can be anything from the softness of the toilet roll in the bathroom to the candle on the dining room table.�� The details will stick, and they may think of the gratitude they discussed whenever they see that object for a while!

Night #3 Thanks for Food.��

Obviously you will hear a lot about pizza, hoagies and McDonalds, but bringing up the details in a normal night���s food can encourage gratitude.�� Hold up a carrot and say, ���Look how shiny it is.�� How did God get carrots to be so orange!�� He is a very special artist.����� Swirl your fork in mashed potatoes and note how creamy they look.�� Notice the perfectly straight and orderly rows of seeds in a cucumber.�� Ask kids what smells best on their plate.�� Ask them what���s best about their favorite dish and note God���s creative hand in it with questions like, ���How did God get pizza cheese so chewy?���

Night #4 ����Thanks for our country.��

Most children know the Star Spangled Banner and will know that we are the land of the free and home of the brave.�� But in many cases the words are meaningless unless they are explained in detail.�� The older children may be helpful in making the younger ones understand about freedom, because they have had some knowledge of countries where people were not free to worship, seek education, and earn a living as they please.�� Again, being specific about what freedom does for us will help kids feel thankful.�� Knowing your children���s��� ambitions, you can say, ���If you lived in a communist country, you would not be free to choose that career when you grow up.�� You���d have to do what the government told you to.����� And even more importantly, tell them, ���Parents who go to church in certain countries can go to jail for that.�� Their kids can be given away.�� I���m so glad we���re free to worship our loving God in America!��� ����Freedoms kids might relate to might include writing whatever poems we want, buying whatever we want in the store, saying whatever we believe without fear of breaking a law, freedom to listen to whatever music we like and watch movies that people freely created.

Night #5 Thanks for our bodies.��

Kids are often besieged with negative information about their bodies.�� In school kids get teased for being too thin, too heavy, too short, or too tall, and if they wear something too old, too tight or too colorful, it can bring on the comments as well!�� Developing thanks can put a more positive spin on things when kids look at the details.�� Have them examine their fingers, then try to eat four bites of dinner with their fingers balled into fists.�� Ask why God gave them thumbs.�� Have them shut their eyes and hold their noses and try to guess which food item from your plate you���re holding in front of them.�� Point out how you can���t taste gravy when you���re holding your nose.�� Show your awe in how God designed smells and noses and freckles on noses.

Challenge #6 Thanks for nature.��

God���s artistry and his own love of detail can be seen in nature.�� Kids almost know instinctively to appreciate the sky, clouds, seashore, fields and mountains. ��It gets really fun when gratitude is encouraged for more specific things like ���how our kitty cat���s tail curls and uncurls when she walks��� or ���the stripes on a zebra��� or ���fish lips and how they blow when our goldfish swims along.����� Bring in a pine cone or a fall flower from outside and ask kids to notice as many cool details about it as possible.�� Thank God for each detail.

Challenge #7 Thanks for God and Jesus.

We teach kids to thank God and Jesus, but we also need to remind them to be thankful for our Heavenly Father and his Loving Son.�� We may find that kids are more challenged over feeling grateful for the Creator than for his creation!�� That���s because they can���t see or hear God.�� The details of God can make children far more thankful. Mention attributes such that God never sleeps.�� Remind them of Luke 12:7 which says ���the very hairs on your head are numbered,��� and tell them God knows every littlest thing about them.�� Remind them that Jesus came and arose from the dead so that we can go to heaven with him.�� Ask them how long they think eternity is or how to understand eternity.�� Remind them that Jesus promised to come back to earth someday and that we can look forward to watching for Him.

In all of this, you can increase gratitude by reminding kids that their thankfulness isn���t just a general feeling that drifts off into space.�� It is directed at God, who enjoys when we are grateful.�� Kids may not think they are capable of making God smile.�� But he didn���t send his son to die for people capable only of making him frown.�� God enjoys us.�� He wants to be a big part of our lives, our hearts, our thinking, and He wants to be noticed.�� When we thank him, he enjoys it similarly to how we do.�� Think of how you would feel if your kids thanked you for the way you fold wash, the kindness in your voice, the smell of your hair, your taste in candle scents, the stories your read at bedtime, the way you tie shoes.�� You would have a new lease on life! Teach your kids to offer up a blast of gratitude for the little things each time they think of one.