Harrison Wheeler's Blog, page 4

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

I made a huge decision this week.  Much bigger than the time I decided to graffiti the backside of a rhino.

I chose to pursue my creativity over my post-graduate studies.  ”What’s that?” you say.  ”‘Artsy fartsy’ over ‘thinky stinky’? Are you mad??”

Look, I’ve only got so much energy, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past year (btw, a year ago I was wheelchair bound and learning to walk again) is that pursuing my passion means more to me than anything else.  I’ve done it, we’ve all done it ~ we’ve shelved our creativity in order to scramble higher up the practical ladder of life.  ‘A few more hours a week and I can buy a nicer car.  If I take the promotion I’ll have more saved for my retirement.’  (and you’ll be too old to do anything with it!)

And in my case this week, I had to weigh the pros and cons of doing my Masters again this term.  I enjoy the studies, the research ~ learning is a huge high.  I tried for a couple of weeks to make it work.  Truth is, I couldn’t do it ~ physically or mentally ~ not yet at least.  Massive headaches, tapped energy, sleepless nights…my mind kept racing (against who I have no idea).  And I knew that if I chose to do the Masters, I wouldn’t have any time for my creativity.

So I postponed it, and guess what?  No more headaches, way more energy again, and I’m sleeping like a purring cat on a fat man’s belly.  Now, I know my recovery for Guillian-Barre Syndrome has a lot to do with my physical state, but I’m telling you my emotional/spiritual state is VERY hinged upon my creative well being.  With a healthy balance restored to my life, I’m ready to pour my energy all over the canvass and keyboard and pick up where I left off in December.  My inner jester wants to play, and so he shall.

This is a drawing I did today called ‘Streaming’.  I remembered to snap a pic as I went, so you see the halfway mark above.  I’ve still got my pen on the paper, but the learning I’m doing feels deeper. Furthermore, I don’t need to prove no thesis to nobody man! 

 

 

IGNORANT ON PURPOSE

How’s are we supposed to be creative when our heads are full of NOISE?  It’s not possible.

To be fully in the zone, the flow, the moment, the sweet spot of focused creativity, a balance needs to be achieved.  I’m not talking about silent meditation before and after finger painting, or deep tissue massage before practicing a stand up routine. (Although neither of those would hurt!) But I do believe we need to be aware of the blaring distractions, the clammer around us.  And where, you ask, does this cacophony come from?  Straight from our own foolish choices. Every time we choose to watch TV or listen to the radio, we choose to succumb to the bombardment of canned entertainment, mind-numbing commercials, and the omnipresent sensationalistic news, we risk blurring our vibrant intent.

I used to believe I could maintain a steady consumption of media as a critical, informed, consumer, and not have it negatively affect my life.  I do, after all, want to know what is going on in the world.   Truth be told I never really got politics or political motivations, or reasons behind international turmoil, but I try.  I guess I thought that if I were suddenly thrust into a dinner party with overly cerebral guests I’d be able to whip out a pleasant factoid about the current state of our inside-out planet.

But folks, it’s not worth it to me anymore.

Call me ignorant and I’ll take it as a compliment. I’m purposely ignorant, you’re damn right it’s bliss, and I’ll have it no other way. After the shooting, not to mention the murder plots, the incessant moronic political blatherings from across the globe (did you see the throw down in the Ukraine court room recently), reality TV vomit & updates on the pathetic details of starved for attention stars, I’m going on a MEDIA CLEANSE. Who’s in? Kill your TV and your radio. Surf sites that fill your soul, not rob you of it. ‘But don’t you care for the poor victims in the world?’ you may ask. Of course. It sickens me and I’m sending all the good vibes I can muster. But I’m choosing to take a page out of the Dalai Lama’s book and pay loving attention to those starring in my immediate frequency – my family, my friends, my community – because I can’t deal with the news right now. It’s so dark and desperate my brain can’t even compute.

A friend posted a great year-end review of 2012 the other day that made my heart sing. Why? Because it was POSITIVE! A montage of genius feats and hopeful heroes. What a gobsmacking concept that is! Happy? in this world? say it ain’t so! Am I alone here? CNN and FOX and CBC at times now broadcast FEAR and MISERY far too much, and I’m tapping out kids. My New Years resolution is purposeful ignorance. I will care and hope for our apparently broken world quietly while living locally, human to human, with no screens blaring madness between us. In order to celebrate the gratitude I have for my short time on Earth, I choose to turn off and tune in.

Right after this commercial break…;p  Let the inspiration flow!

 

TOTALLY ELF’D UP

This latest sketch, another in a line of late night brain splats, is admittedly rather odd.  And for that reason I’m posting it.  Happy everything, all.  May your holidays be slightly less elf’d up than these three.

FEELING FESTIVE

Greetings wayward wonkers and creative geniuses all!

I keep waking up in the middle of the night with very odd images/catch phrases/scenarios in my head and I cannot sleep until I’ve drawn them.  Does that ever happen to you?  I wish my brain was more into history or the analysis of wheat ~ something decidedly more boring to give my brain waves a rest.  As you can see from the ‘toon below, the images I’m drawn to draw are indeed odd, bordering on infantile.  Perhaps a more mature man wouldn’t share this with the world.  Poppycock, is what I say to that!  The fact that I still have these excursions into the absurd tells me my childhood lens is spit shined and polished!  I embrace my inner goof ~ we’ve all got one you know.  It’s up to us to let our goof out once in a while.

After all, Santa would find this funny, happy bugger that he is.  I believe recent conversations with my good friend Ryan Murphy are to blame for this one, by way of his poo and pee enthralled son.  Enjoy!

 

JESTER SPOTTING

My intent this week was to write a post on the late great John Candy, a man for whom I have much comedic affinity.  I was also hoping to write my first book review.  Truth is, I’ve been engrossed in the first draft of my friend’s book, and haven’t had time for much else.  When he’s ready to publish, the book world is in for a real treat!  Either way, in the end, I drew this B&W illustration.  My mind is creeping back to drawing land, and I’m excited about illustrating the world I’ve created in JESTERS INCOGNITO for you all to enjoy.  I’ve taken a long look at my art and my writing, and know that the two were meant to be fused together.  To tell stories hand in hand.  Like good friends, my drawings can say what my words cannot, they’ll support one another and blah blah blah…I hope you enjoy the picture.  For those of you who have already finished the book (and many have!), this picture will make the most sense.  For the rest of you, perhaps it will entice you to enter the technologically wired world of Roxy and get jesting!

How to Lose Friends and Infuriate People

So, I was perusing the bookstore the other day, and found myself flipping through titles in the self-help section.  I picked up a book, one of the first best-selling self-help books ever published in fact, called “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Have you read it?  I haven’t, and won’t ever read it, because the title sounds too ridiculous. They may as well have called it: Learn how to be fake and trick people into liking you even though you are lonely, uninteresting, and lack the necessary self-confidence to create meaningful relationships in your life.  Doesn’t sound like a page-turner to me.

Then I noticed a tiny book tucked curiously away from view, way behind the stack of this famous paperback.  I pulled it out and read the title. It was called” “How to Lose Friends and Infuriate People.”  I grinned and cracked the spine, eager to have a read.

Believe it or not, this book states, some people suffer from over-popularity, and not everyone wants to win friends or influence people. There are people who naturally possess the social skills and talents to succeed in this world, and they endure the exact opposite problem from the rest of the population: having too many friends.  Their contact list is full, their life is busy, and people who try to win them over are a nuisance.  Very simply, these people need to learn how to get rid of unwanted friends, and this was the book that could teach them how.

I thought this concept for a self-help book was pretty funny, the author obviously had a good sense of humour, and so I took the liberty of jotting down the different ways it outlined on how exactly to Lose Friends and Infuriate People.

 Become genuinely disinterested in other people.

One practical way to do this is to pay more attention to your smart phone when your friend is talking to you.

Another way is to yawn loudly as soon as your friend begins to speak.  This is especially effective if the topic of conversation is intimate or particularly meaningful to the speaker.

Rudeness

Eating with your mouthful is a sure fire way to offend someone who really wants to be your friend.  Farting and burping during meals are exceptionally effective.  Be diligent in your disgustingness ~ one might take pity on your for having a gastrointestinal problem that is beyond your control ~ be sure they realize that you are just a pig.

 Make the person feel insignificant

When your keen new friend asks you to make plans together, eagerly accept with much shaking of hands and anticipatory fanfare.  Be sure that he or she sees you put the date into your calendar.  And then, minutes before you are to meet up, call and cancel.  Think up a particularly pathetic excuse, like: I forgot.  Or: There’s a marathon documentary about the great French cheese-making revolution of 1743 on TV.

No matter how long you’ve known the wannabe friend, ask them what their name is over and over again.  If you’re persistent, they’ll catch the hint and leave you be.

Openly boast about your successes in work and home life, making sure to pat your pal on the back, while saying, “I’m pretty fantastic, aren’t I?  Don’t give up, ok?”

I’m joking; I didn’t find this book at the bookstore, but I kind of wish I had.  Maybe I’ll write it myself.  Nah, I don’t think the world needs how to learn to be a-holes to one another, we seem to have that down pat.  Of course I know that self-help books are valuable tools created by intelligent professionals, and learning to attract like-minded people in your life is a worthwhile endeavor.  But you have to admit, a good sense of humour is pretty inspiring, too.

RETROSPECULATION

In order to ensure I have a legacy that lives on long after I am dead, (you gotta have something, right?) I have a created a new word for the English language.

RETROSPECULATION: (n.) (v.)  the act of examining one’s past in order to understand one’s present circumstances and in so doing, to make accurate forecasts and decisions for one’s future.  (v.) to retrospeculate

Allow me elaborate.

Take a moment and consider where you are right now.

Where you are physically at this moment, sure, but also where you are at in life.  Your job, your relationships, your health…

And now really think about everything that you had to do to be where you are.  All the tests you had to pass, the planes you had to catch, the job interviews, the cheeseburger eating contests, the TV shows you watched, the serious conversations you’ve had with friends and family that really affected the way you think, the taxi rides, the receipts, the lawyer’s meetings, the countless mornings you woke up hungover swearing you’d never do that again. The accidents you’ve had, perhaps?

All of these actions, experiences, and decisions were integral to you being you, tonight. And to think if you had missed that plane, or scored higher on that Anthropology test well…you might not be sitting here tonight.  Who knows where’d you be?  What kind of person you’d be?

I find it fascinating to consider that idea. They always say things are clearer in retrospect.

The idea to fuse retro with speculation came to me because exactly one year ago I was hit with a life experience that forced me to speculate on my future, big time. On October 17th, 2011, I was diagnosed with a condition called GBS ~ Guillian Barre Syndrome.  I almost died, and it was outrageously scary.

Basically, GBS is an auto-immune disorder so severe that the outer casing to the nerves in my entire body died, shutting my system down completely.  Out of nowhere I felt tingling in my hands and feet, then I couldn’t walk properly, my hands started clawing up, then I couldn’t walk and my diaphragm began to falter. All this in the space of a week ~ and then BOOM ~ I was put into an induced coma and I woke up 5 weeks later, paralyzed.

The experience has totally changed my life.  5 months in hospital, paralyzed for six weeks, tracheotomy, learned to walk again, went to rehab with very severe spinal chord victims, and am still on long term disability because my system is too comprised, too exhausted to work.

I’ve examined my past, I’ve learned from it, grown from it.  I’ve had an amazing life.  A rich upbringing full of love, a professional music career, lots of academic exposure and world travel ~ I even drank tea with a Pakistani family at their gourmet hotdog restaurant in Amsterdam. A talk for another time, perhaps.

Because I got GBS, one of the best things that has ever happened to me btw, I’ve made some decisions to improve my future I may not have otherwise. I moved in with my girlfriend here, and am now engaged to marry her this Christmas.  I finished my new novel.  I have decided that I want to live a slower, more purposeful life creating art and giving back to my community because my life as a vice principal and masters candidate wasn’t fulfilling enough for me. I am lucky, humbled, grateful, and stronger than ever before.

Retrospeculation.  Whether you’ve had a life-threatening experience or not, give my new word a try. Take stock of what’s been and what you want to become. Your future may really improve because of it.

DO WORDS GET STAGE FRIGHT?

While writing the Jesters Incognito, I hadn’t really taken the time to consider the impact my book being for sale would have on me.  It’s probably a good thing, too, because I could have easily let paranoia-induced worry seep into my skull, impeding my finishing the Jesters altogether.

What’s there to be worried about?  Would people like it?  Would they get it?  Is my writing so ‘green’ that people would toss it aside and roll their eyes at every mention of the book hence forward?

Negative forecasting aside, the publishing process couldn’t haven’t gone any smoother.  Yet every time I hear that another person has bought the book, my stomach flutters.  I think – HOLY.  They actually bought the book.  They’ve deemed my book worthy of their time!

NOTE: I only measure the worth of things in terms of time nowadays.  Money comes and goes, rises and falls, and only signifies conceptual worth, as opposed to human value.  Besides, with every venture we decide to spend our time on, we’re losing important life spent on other things and thus nearing death; meaning time isn’t money, time is life!  And money is just colorful paper and digits in a bank account.  I don’t know about you, but if I feel I’ve wasted my time on something not worthwhile, I’m left feeling beleaguered.

So, (big breath, back on topic), I imagine the reader cracking the book open and venturing forth with anticipation of an adventurous literary ride, one that links my brain to theirs and hopefully sparks a favorable imaginative union, I wonder if the words on the page are as nervous as I am.  I imagine the sentences quivering between the pages as they are being shipped across the conintent – across the world, even, with books now in Japan, New Zealand, and England.  The darkness inside their boxes would only add to the intensity of their unveiling, and the capital letters, team leaders, would give pep talks to the rest of the sentences, reassuring them that they are in the right order, and that their combined meaning gives purpose to the entirety of the novel.  Do the words say things to one another like “break a leg”?  Or do they practice their phonetic sound in preparation for their big debuts, gurgling water and wearing scarves around their tiny typographic necks?

It’s a curious image, indeed.  Fanciful, and may be worth me turning into a cartoon.

But I don’t think it’s the case.  My many words are confident they’re worth your time, as am I. [gulp]