Michael Harling's Blog, page 29

Taps

Twelve years ago, when I first moved into this flat, one of the first things I did was put up a flag.
I did this because I have always had a flag flying from any home I have lived in. I’m an American; it’s what we do. To be fair, I did know that I was going against the rules of my tenancy agreement, which stated that nothing was to be put on the balcony, but I didn’t think anyone would mind. I also didn't think that I would be violating an actual law. Not the bludgeoning to death of the delive...

Joining the 21st Century

This is what happened:
A few weeks back we were out to dinner with some friends and they showed us photos of their new granddaughter by passing us their phone and having us scroll though a batch of images they had taken and/or downloaded. Needless to say, baby was beautiful and the proud parents were, well, proud and we all did the requisite amount of cooing.
But then it occurred to me that I could not show them—or anyone else—pictures of my grandsons. In fact, I have never shown anyone a pictu...

Buying Back My Faith in Humanity

Our front door was ‘upgraded’ a few days ago, and it really shattered my faith in humanity. It probably wouldn’t have been so traumatic if I hadn’t needed to replace my electric shaver the week before.
Allow me to explain:
My old shaver was great; it came with a handsome faux-leather carrying case, sturdy cleaning brushes and a pop-up sideburn trimmer but, sadly, it was getting on and was more than ready for the electric shaver retirement home so I went out and bought a new one. The new one ha...

Old Dog, New Tricks: Yet Another Cover for Rachel

We interrupt our regularly scheduled broadcasts to bring you this update on the state of Finding Rachel Davenport– the paperback. It has a new cover:


She's new, she's purple, she's...naked?It also has a new price: $6.99 (or £6.33 or €7.42). This is not a limited-time offer or anything like that, it’s just that, when I uploaded the new cover, I noticed the paperback was priced at $9.99 and that was a mistake—I had always meant to price it lower. (This could explain the enthusiasm customers...

Fun With Toilet Paper

Gosh, nearly a month since I’ve posted anything new! Sorry, but the, um, sun was in my eyes and, ahh, my dog ate my homework and…okay, I’m sort of a lazy sod.
To make up for my inexcusable hiatus, allow me to bring you a bit of whimsy:
My wife and I buy toilet paper by the gross. It’s the one thing we can buy in bulk because it is the one thing—in our diminutive flat—that we have ample storage for. When we find ourselves running low, we buy the biggest economy-size package we can find and dump...

The Museums of Amsterdam

The main reason we went to Amsterdam—aside from the fact that we really like it there—was to visit the Rijksmuseum. It was closed when we visited last time and has only recently reopened after a 9-year refurbishment. So that was our number 1 destination.

The Rijksmuseum and Amsterdam's new logo.
Whoever came up with Iamsterdam (Will.i.am?) deserves a raise.Now, I like to take pictures, and I don’t mean just when I go away on holiday. I carry a camera with me everywhere, even when I walk into to...

Technology is Not Your Friend

Have you ever heard this sound?
You’re coming out of the mall after a successful shopping spree, you remotely unlock your car from the entranceway, scoop all your newly acquired belongings into your arms and toddle out to your car, but just as you curl your one free finger under the door handle, you hear it—the sound of your car re-locking itself because it got tired of waiting for you:
thunk
Yes, that sound—it is the sound of technology kicking you in the keister.
Technology, I am here to tell y...

The Bikes of Amsterdam

 Ah, Amsterdam, city of canals, quaint houses and fewer windmills than you might expect. A city of shimmering water and worn cobbles, where—with no fear of legal repercussion—you can smoke hash, rent a prostitute and visit a world-class art exhibit all within comfortable walking distance from your hotel. (For the record, we accomplished one of these three; you should have no trouble guessing which it was.)
My wife, redundantly reading The Light of Amsterdam while actually
in Amsterdam...

Hell-o, You’ve Reached Emergency Services

After a dozen years in this country, I finally had the opportunity to dial 999, which is the UK equivalent of 911. It’s not that I was looking forward to, or even expecting, this event. After all, I lived many years in the US without ever having to call 911, though I did make liberal use of the predecessor of 911, which was running to get your mother. But that’s for another time.

This is how it happened:
My wife and I were on our customary postprandial constitutional when, on our way into town,...

A Little Tiff

I don’t know how aware you folks in the US of A are about the relationship between England and Scotland, but if they were on Facebook, their status would read, “It’s Complicated.” We’re not having a tiff, per se, (we know this because there are no actual armies lining up and facing each other over Hadrian’s Wall) it’s more of an…I don’t know…assessment, discussion, one of those “we need to talk” moments. You’ve been there; you know what I mean.
Scotland was the one who first broached the subje...