R. Michael's Blog, page 2

The Love of a Border Collie

July of 2017 started one of the hardest periods for my family.  Without warning we lost our main source of income, and this happened one month after we just got a border collie named Syrup.  Anyone who has dogs knows the first year they are very expensive due to spaying/neutering and shots.

I grew up with border collies and absolutely love the breed, and from the first day we brought Syrup home my family was in love.  Then on July 5th we lost our income and my wife and I feared we would lose Syrup.  As one can imagine it hasn’t been easy, but through it all Syrup has been a bright spot in each of our lives.  She is a gentle, sweet-hearted dog that knew exactly how to comfort her family, despite being only a few months old at the time.  My wife and I have resolved no matter what financial struggles come our way, Syrup will remain a part of the family no matter what.  No parent would give away a child just because their income was lost, and the same goes for our dog.

Through it all, it was difficult to write.  The stress, the exhaustion from being stressed, along with the never-ending job hunt put this job on the back burner for a time.  I’ve tried a few freelancing gigs, which paid little, applied to scores of jobs, but it became clear this is where I’m called.  I’m now armed with an adorable border collie at my feet, and a reminder every day that no matter what happens, she is a bright spot for my family, and an inspiration of what love should be.  Imagine if humans loved as unconditionally as some animals do?  What if we all showed grace and patience with everyone, including those who wronged us?  These are just a few musings I have.  Even with growing up with dogs, it is a sweet reminder just how caring they can be in the darkest moments.

As always this stirs up inspiration within me as a writer.  Humans can and are often as caring animals, but why is it often so difficult to see?  Many times, it is easier for an animal lover such as myself to see the good in animals more than humans.  Is it in our nature to be harsher with our own species than an animal that is cute and soft?  Dogs and especially cats can have bad attitudes and disappoint us.  They why do they seem to get more of a pass than an unpleasant person?  Is it because we expect more from sentient beings, knowing that animals don’t always know better?  These are the sorts of things I ponder as an author.  That is what’s strange about what I do, literally everything is fair game for inspiration, including a sweet little puppy who is there no matter what.

In the Spirit of Halloween

Note: This is a repost.

Throughout history people have claimed to see the unexplained and the mysterious.  Some things have been explained by science.  Where superstition has filled the gaps we now can test and come to concrete answers.  With the dawn of the scientific age, knowledge is no longer hidden in the shadows.  Not only has science blown the lid off superstitions but it has provided better medicine and knowledge of biology, the earth, and universe.  Science has become such a powerful tool of discovery that some proclaim all mysteries will one day become answered through this process.  However, this powerful tool has made some become arrogant.

Some assume things like ghosts, angels, and demons are nothing more than silly superstitions.  The things that people see that they cannot explain are their imagination, illusions, or hallucinations.  I find this to be incredibly arrogant.  It lacks nuance, and is frankly dishonest with some of the evidence presented.  Now, I do acknowledge that some cases, maybe most, can be explained by natural phenomenon.  An unknown breeze, alcohol, or drugs are all possibilities.  The easiest way to not think is to completely dismiss or believe all these stories.  Those who claim it is all nonsense fail to take into consideration there are many spiritual encounters that have incredible consistency.  For example, those terrorized by demons often exhibit claw marks of three in places they cannot reach or are terrorized at 3:00 AM.  That of course isn’t hardened scientific proof, I do acknowledge that. However, mass hallucinations do not exist, and if multiple people report the same thing with detailed accounts, I believe they should be considered.

Speaking from experience, those who have encounters with the supernatural often feel isolated, that we cannot talk to anyone or they will think we are crazy or superstitious nuts.  I’m one who is knowledgeable of science, what the mind is capable of and the tricks it can play, and look for other explanations before jumping to conclusions.  However, in this world there is evil and sometimes that evil defies naturalism. In spirit of the holiday, if there is someone you know that shares a paranormal encounter, listen.  You can choose what to do with the information, but at least listen.  Maybe just maybe they aren’t crazy and there is a reason you are hearing this story.

Truth?

It is said that truth is something that cannot stay hidden.  Many believe that no matter how long it takes, truth eventually comes to light and reveals itself.  I may write fiction, but good fiction is driven by truths.  Truths mostly about the human spirit and condition.  This may sound cynical, but I wonder if indeed truth cannot stay hidden, or if our bias and private perspectives blind us.

In our postmodern era, perhaps not everyone would agree that truth is truth regardless of culture or perspective, but I’m certain most would.  After all, we know there is only one star that our solar system revolves around.  Someone may believe the moon is a star too, but that wouldn’t be correct, no matter what worldview that person would use to justify his belief.  There are other things that get trickier, and truth begins to blur so much with worldview that they become almost indistinguishable.

If a person believes that evil spirits and not microbes are the cause of illness, even if he is shown the bacteria under a microscope, that is when a worldview interferes with truth.  We know intellectually that just because an idea is widely believed, that doesn’t make it true, but we are social beings who want to be accepted.  The more an idea is floated around and made prominent, the more readily accepted it becomes.  Sometimes this happens for good, sometimes for bad.  History is replete with examples of both.  Slavery is an example of an evil in humanity, while civil rights and freedoms are examples of good.

There are things that I feel are true and have been tested and proven as such, yet in some instances certain people are unwilling to mold their worldviews to the truth.  In other cases, what was once accepted as truth even “common sense” appears to be becoming lost in western culture.  The inability for people to see through their worldviews is largely what is at the heart of the political strife in America.  Anymore either side cannot agree on what is right even at a fundamental level.

This situation is nothing new.  For the entirety of human culture, people have refused to acknowledge truth based on presuppositions. If that is the case, then how can truth always come to light? Having beliefs is normal and essential to being human, so do not misunderstand me.  Nor do I feel that beliefs should always be compromised by what someone else says is truth.  Merely, I find it fascinating that truth while apparent to some may not be as apparent to others.  Truth in some matters might be understood by a person, but the same man or woman may be blinded by untruth in other matters. Something to think on.  What do you think?

Don’t Judge Me!

No one wants to be judged.  There are few absolute statements that are true, and that is one of them.  It is our nature to want to be seen and heard as people, not viewed through the lens of our mistakes or differences.  We all know mistakes and bad things are a part of the human experience.  There is a difference though between judging a person in a condemning way, and noticing a destructive behavior and mentioning it to that person. As much as we don’t like to be judged, people also don’t like seeing their loved ones commit to destructive behaviors.

Ever notice that those who complain about certain behaviors in others are often guilty of it themselves?  I can certainly raise my hand for that one.  After all, this post is directed at me as much as anyone.  The same thing applies to “Don’t judge me!” How many times have we spouted that or complained about judging someone when we are judging others in the same breath.

To compound this issue, constructive criticism of behavioral choices are often confused with judging.  You think I’m posting too much political stuff on social media? Judging. You think I shouldn’t smoke as I drive with my kids in the back seat of the car? Judging. You think I should let go of the past because I’m letting bitterness poison my life? Judging. None of these examples are truly judging if the other person said it in gentleness and kindness, with your best interest at heart. To judge someone is no calling out destructive, immature, or unbecoming behavior. Judging someone is to condemn them, to see them as defined by their behavior and that behavior makes them less than you are, or at worst worthy of Hell.

Anymore, it seems that people cannot take criticism without blowing it off as “you are just judging me!” Certainly, people can be judgmental over the examples I listed above, and context must always be considered. The issue I take is that most people are all too ready to assume intent or get defensive when we can all learn something. If a loved one mentions we should maybe try a different approach, it isn’t necessarily a judgement, it might just be what we need to hear.

Do we live in an age without self-awareness?

As an author I feel it is my job to pay attention to cultural leanings and norms.  I’ve written before about the politically charged climate we live in.  People have adapted an “us verses them” mentality not just with politics but faith, lack of faith, and even mundane things like movies.  Yes, movies, I’ve seen some impassioned arguments about them on the internet.  With these discussions one primary accusation comes up; the other person or side is a hypocrite.

The truth is, no one likes a hypocrite and we can smell hypocrisy a million miles away in another person or group but struggle to see it in ourselves.  It’s undoubtful that everyone has been a hypocrite before.  I certainly have, everyone I know has been.  That is an inevitable part of being human.  There is a problem when hypocrisy is a pattern or even a lifestyle.

Hypocrisy can evolve to a point where a person is utterly lacking self-awareness.  The problem compounds when such lack of self-awareness spreads throughout a culture like a cancer.  Perhaps I’m cynical but from my perspective this seems to be where we are at in western society.  We see this especially in politics.  If someone from our “team” is guilty of something we look the other way and justify their actions.  However, if the “other side” does the same thing we lose our minds and catastrophize the situation.  The same thing is with religious verses irreligious folks.  The common attitude is that people can have their faith and believe what they will, but they must keep it to themselves.  However, irreligious folks, sometimes flood the internet with comments about how people who believe differently than them are delusional idiots.

There is a surface celebration of diversity in our culture, but rarely are diverse ideas met with approval.  It is the norm to shout down, belittle, and attack those who think differently.  Maybe we should try to understand why someone believes differently instead?  That is much harder.  It also goes against human nature.  It requires an immense amount of empathy, but it is not impossible.  I’m directing these comments as much to myself as anyone reading this.  This is how we become self-aware and do not become what we hate in others.

Halloween and Faith

I love Halloween, and I’m a Christian.  Some would say neither of those things are big deals.  Others would perhaps say I’m a lukewarm Christian who compromised his beliefs due to the influences of the World.  Why would I bring this up?  Because most of the arguments against Halloween from Christian circles are the same that are used against reading Fantasy books.

Halloween has scary imagery, pagan roots (with some Christian as well) and has evolved so much over history it hardly resembles Samhain of the past.  Is Halloween evil?  Well, that depends on a lot of things.  When Jesus was on Earth He spoke of a person’s heart.  That is what He is most concerned about.  The heart is the source of intent, thought, and action.

Halloween can be celebrated in such a plethora of ways it is rather simplistic to condemn or condone all of them.  Dressing up to parties, having your children go trick-or-treating, or going on haunted hayrides are all amoral things, but I would argue they are all benign.  If, however, you claim to be a believer and delve into spiritualism then I can indeed see there would be an issue.

There is a dynamic that gets ignored many times when this topic comes up.  Halloween is simply off-putting for some and people use that to justify their condemnation of the holiday and any who celebrate it.  All typical Christmas imagery is from paganism as well.  The origins of Christmas trees are from worshipping Saturn during the winter solstice. I find it to be a double standard for people who condemn Halloween for its pagan roots while having Christmas trees and garland in their home. If you don’t like it, that’s fine.  If your conscience condemns you for participating, that is fine too.  My job then is to not force you into a situation where you would violate those convictions but remember these are personal convictions not Biblical Truth.   Oh, sure I’ve seen justifications from Scripture to not indulge in Halloween celebration, enjoying Fantasy, or even fiction in its entirety.  These are again examples of people using the Bible to impose their personal convictions onto other people.  Halloween and fantasy are amoral things like money, it all depends on what you do with them.

When reading Scripture, it is plain that when we stand before God he is concerned about how we have used our gifts He gave us and how we’ve loved people.  If we love God and love people all things come together.  It isn’t worth having division over such details, especially if someone loves Jesus, loves others, yet reads Harry Potter.  However, if someone abstains from Halloween but has a hard heart, which is a more Biblical position to be in?  Remember, legalism is something Jesus himself warned about when he said, “Beware the yolk of the pharisees.” In the end if you are convicted from participating in Halloween, don’t do it.

More Thoughts on Friendship

I wrote a blog in late 2017 about another type of rare love, and that is friendship.  Good and trustworthy friends who desire to invest in you as much as you want to invest in them are hard to come by.  That is especially true in a culture that is busy and sometimes teaches that once you have a family friends are a luxury. Friendship doesn’t require two people to constantly be around one another, but if years go by is the term “friend” even accurate?  If during that time both people change considerably and are not happy how things turned out, then is it good to continue to call the relationship a “friendship?”

There have been more people than I would like that fall into this category.  Not only has there been so much time between visits we don’t know each other, but a few people do not wish for that to change.  Others have been toxic for various reasons, something which I didn’t know while I was close with them, but as they say hindsight is always 20/20.

There are things I would love to say to all these people, but I am starting to realize that the most loving thing I can do is let some people go.  Some folks simply do not want to take the time or effort to invest in you.  Their definition of “friend” is in all actuality an acquaintance.  Someone they know, had a few good times, maybe even shared some deep things, but they ultimately don’t know you and you don’t know them.  I would argue that most people have very few true friends if any at all.  That is scary, especially since we are social creatures.

Do not misunderstand this, I’m not saying a long period of time between seeing each other necessarily means two people are not friends.  What I am saying is that if one or both parties put little to no effort into the friendship it ceases to be a friendship entirely.  Our emotions and sentimentality hinder us from making that realization.  We often cannot comprehend that it might be loving to let someone go.  Most of us would probably agree that we do not want a person feeling in bondage to us or an idea of us out of some sort of misguided sense of friendship.

An Unpopular Opinion

As far as personal tastes go, I understand that everyone is different. Most people are into sports and that is something I couldn’t care less about.  There are people who feel the same way about my books and the fantasy genre as a whole. I respect there are different hobbies and different points of view.  That is what makes us human.  However, there is one thing in the literary world that particularly bothers me, the attempt to claim that erotica is not pornography.

The last sentence of the previous paragraph undoubtedly raised the ire of a few.  Questions such as “how can you claim to be respectful of other people’s interests and make that claim?” For me it’s simple. I am a logical person.  As the old saying goes if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. On twitter especially, I have seen erotica authors (which seem to be a dime a dozen on there) make various impassioned arguments that erotica isn’t porn at all.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines porn as “the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.” That sounds a lot like erotica.  After all, what is the point of a story that primarily centers around sex if not for the soul purpose of arousal?  Sex by itself is not a plot, other plot elements may be intertwined with the story, but if that was the focus it would cease to be erotica.

I bring this up because all other genres may not be enjoyed by all people.  I don’t particularly fancy romance, but at the end of the day it is still art.  That is what sets erotica apart from all other genres.  Strictly speaking, erotica isn’t art, it’s porn.  A quick search into the definitions of the two clearly makes a distinction.  This isn’t about me pushing my morality onto others or to insult those who read erotica, but I want us to drop the pretense that it is some sort of extreme romance and not functionally a literary version of late night Pay-Per-View.

I believe this is an important topic to discuss.  Especially considering the popularity of the genre and recent scientific findings of what porn does to the human brain.  As always though, anyone reading this is welcome to disagree.  I encourage everyone to research it themselves.  Especially the effects of porn and the differences between porn and art.  From my point of view the evidence is undeniable, but of course there are those who feel passionately that I’m wrong.

Evil’s Perspective

The Tolkien era of Fantasy had brought us villains who were evil for the sake of evil.  Their motives were pretty much they wanted to destroy the world because they were evil and nothing more was really known about these antagonists.  That was the point, they represented the force of evil more than being individual characters with motives.  In a few stories this works, but now there is a call for more depth to the villains of the stories.  Generally, now there are antagonists with motives and backstories, and just like reality these people tend to not see themselves as evil but as saviors.

History is rife with horrible rulers of both nations and organizations.  Some of these people were like Sauron who simply wanted to dominate others without sympathy or empathy for anyone else.  Others though were more like Darth Vader, horrible people who saw themselves as protectors or necessary such as Valad The Impaler.

How often do we do things that are wrong and justify it in our minds?  Taking that line of thought further, how often do we glorify our ideological positions while demonizing the “other” side?  Sure we may not be killing anyone or desiring to, but isn’t that a similar train of thought that these evil people in history and fiction acted on?  I’m not saying everyone who dug in their heels and stood up for their convictions is akin to a villain, but just that it is easy to continue down the rabbit trail and become so blinded by ideology empathy no longer remains.  This is especially common in political spheres from 2015 to present in America.

Certainly, there are things we all disagree with.  That is okay, in fact it is necessary for anyone who has a spec of critical thinking and morality.  With the advent of the internet it is becoming easier to live in an echo chamber and grow angrier at those who are outside of your thought circle.  Hope is only found in those who agree with you and me, while despair and the end of the world comes in the form of those that dare think differently.  To me, it looks like there is less nuance in our culture than there was even ten years ago.  People are ready to sever ties with friends and even family because of differing viewpoints because their beliefs are “dangerous.”  With this mentality, called Tribalism, which I addressed in previous blogs, it is only opening the door for a real evil to rise to power.  As freedoms erode the people will cheer that person on because “their” person was in power, not the “other” side.  Of course, the opposite group will do everything they can to oppose the person in power, but perhaps it won’t be enough.  This is hypothetical, and not a subtle dig at the current president or any before him.  I know that some already view him in this light, but that isn’t what I am referencing.  In an environment where people are looking to be offended or read into their own bias, I feel that is necessary to state.

Fiction is meant to teach us.  To help us ponder our own actions as well as the happenings within our own culture.  Let us actually implement the lessons from history and fiction, lest we create a monstrous world we cannot undo.

Too Busy!

Anyone who is an adult knows that with maturity comes more responsibilities.  If you are a typical adult living on your own with a family you’re raising, this is particularly true.  On top of work, raising children, and maintaining a relationship adulthood affords far less spare time than when we were younger.  As a result, friendships fall apart and hobbies such as reading become neglected.  Are we really so busy?  If so, then is it necessary?

Western culture is notorious for cramming our lives with as much stuff and activities as possible.  Children and work are huge commitments that take up most of our daily hours.  Yet how much of this lack of time is due to having too many obligations instead of poor time management skills?  After all, if you really want to read or spend time with a person you would.  Sure, there are a plethora of good examples of things that could separate someone from a friend for a prolonged period or their reading hobby.

I have come across many people who say, “I would love to_____ but I just don’t have the time!” Here is my counter to that.  The things I really love to do I still manage to do.  Things I enjoy but aren’t as passionate about are the ones that get neglected due to “busyness.” Those we love and desire a real relationship with we reach out to even if we our personal lives have little room to work with.  As a writer, when I read the statistic that roughly 80% of Americans do not read, I cannot help but wonder if the excuse of busyness is the reason.  Then the next question that comes to mind is how can we writers come to terms with this and help American adults effectively rediscover the magic of reading?

Perhaps the answer lies in each and everyone of us contemplating what is our priorities in life.  If we enjoy watching television, we will watch it.  We all need to take an honest assessment of ourselves and discover our true priorities.  If there is someone you think of as your friend but haven’t called him/her for years perhaps deep down, you may love or respect them, but they are not really as close to your heart as you believe.  The same goes for the more trivial things such as our hobbies.  The point is that we all, myself included, need to reassess ourselves sometimes.  If something needs to me more of a priority we need to make it so, otherwise we don’t care as much as we claim.