Chris Vonada's Blog, page 7

The Power Of A Decided Heart

Happy Trails…

I had lunch with an old friend recently who shared with me a heartbreaking story of how she had her heart broken. Apparently letting a man in close proximity to her before really getting to know him, she got burned. Pretty crazy, right? Not really, it happens quite often. I shared with her some of my similar experiences. She had texted me earlier in the week, reeling from the pain of finding out who this individual actually was, so I sort of already had an idea of what to expect at the lunch. She didn’t want to talk about it but when I reminded her about Proverbs 4:23 and guarding your heart I think she realized I had already noticed what was going on…

My friend is no spring chicken. She’s been around the block a time or two… but it is interesting how we often keep making the same mistakes in life. Maybe it’s our vulnerabilities that continually draw us in I don’t know… but I do know now more so than ever the power of having a decided heart. I also continually see example after example of how powerful this verse is:

Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.

I have also noticed something about grief – that response or feeling when we lose something to which a bond is formed. This all centers around a re-kindled friendship with an old college buddy. She’s a grief guru, you can check out her website here. It’s sort of funny every time I think of the word “grief” Charlie Brown comes to mind. The gang always heckled Charlie Brown and his antics with the phrase, “Good grief Charlie Brown!!” And so I came to the conclusion that grief is indeed good… when we heal and recover from it. If you visit my friend Kelly’s website you will see she is a proponent of the full recovery from grief and the loses in life. I like that.

Back to the decided heart… and my other friend’s predicament…  the “ghosts of girlfriends past” – those gremlins that seem to sneak into our minds. I’m not referring to the sociopath who can’t let go – they’re dangerous and need help… 50 shades of creepy.

Remember, it’s about how we approach the end of the story. God breathes life into us daily through His word and the power of the Holy Spirit. With every breath is He deeper into you? (Click To Tweet)

This is like addictions, this grief thing – once you admit to yourself there’s an issue, you have hope. Only then can you celebrate and click the button like Desmond, resetting the clock every 108 minutes… Cheerios!!

Hopefully my friend will be a little more conservative about letting strangers have a part of her heart. The power of a decided heart would help her from having more weeks like the doozy.

With vulnerability we should demand authenticity. Then we can open up and things start to get real…

Image courtesy of OakleyOriginals on flickr.com

Honing In On Self-Actualization

Self-actualization – the need to be fully alive or achieve the full meaning of life. It’s Abraham Maslow’s final level of psychological development for an individual. I”m guessing some people achieve it without ever knowing what it’s all about, while this place of nirvana eludes droves of intellectuals. I was fascinated to learn about it over the weekend and discovered there are 2 key character traits that center us on the road to self-actualization. I also found this concept is grounded in faith and much of what Jesus taught us.

“What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.” Abraham Maslow

Here’s my take of Maslow’s theory from the ground up:

I started talking dude before I can remember, when I was just a little dude. Maybe that’s an attachment theory by-product I don’t know… somewhere along the way, early on, I stepped beyond the physiological basics – breathing, food, water… and on to the next level of dude. Yes, this is the basic building block in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Let’s take a look at the further progression in the life of dude…

The second block up the road to fully developed is centered on the theme of safety or security. Most folks find this to be sort of second-nature, like the physiological needs, once they reach adulthood. Prior to reaching adult status we are pretty dependent on other people to provide these basic needs. Still, this is the low hanging fruit, the stuff that many of us take for granted at times in our daily walk – personal and financial security, good health, and developing a safety net for the times of crisis.

Maslow contended that, as an individual, if we have to spend considerable time and effort tending to these most basic needs that we can’t progress further up the ladder toward self-actualization, and being all that we can be. I get that part, it makes sense when you consider the struggles and setbacks that so many in the world today face with famine, plagues or even cancer, and natural disasters.

Next comes the need for love and belonging. This is where life gets interpersonal. We develop relations within our families, with friends and more intimate relationships too. Some small and large groups of people can fulfill these needs within our community or even in part through an online social network. This category fills many of our social needs, including acceptance.

Life gets more complex at this point… call it the onset of existential anxiety in the absence of authenticity… or the realization that we need something more than ourselves to experience fulfillment in this life. That whole notion, to me anyway, is placed in the heart and soul by the One who defines love – our Lord and Savior.

It is interesting to me in my rather brief study of Maslow’s theory how the “needs” develop from taking to giving at this point in the pyramid. Healthy, pure, unconditional love is given and not taken as the previous needs are defined. Remember, it is in giving that we receive…

Esteem is next to the top of the food chain of needs. This has to start within oneself, and then as an outward expression of respect for others. Feelings of personal accomplishment and achievement fit in here too.

The down side of this esteem thing, in our world today, seems to be despair, or a loss of hope. Hope. Where do we find that one? Yep, there is just one place we find hope. Knowing God is in control gives me hope. We have hope in God’s nature and promise…

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. Hebrews 6:17-20

And about that respect thing…

Self-actualization is at the top of the pyramid in Maslow’s theory. It is achieved by people with healthy personalities and minds. Maslow believed that for an individual to understand this level of need they would have to master the previous needs. Further, self-actualization may for the basis of our calling or reaching our full potential – sometimes. Who’s to say the widow raising 5 children in the slums of Haiti isn’t fulfilling God’s will while continually stuck trying to meet basic needs for her family. Or my friends in the Bahamas who look forward to fishing every Wednesday afternoon – perfectly content to be living in the Lord and well below our standard for poverty. Indeed, from their point of view, they are living the dream of self-actualization – maybe they have all the rest of the building blocks here, and maybe they don’t – but they have certainly found contentment and have God’s hope in their hearts.

Noticing things…

So where do people get hung up on the road to self-actualization? Many lose out at the turning point from taking to giving. You see, self-actualization as a concept is fine once we realize it’s not all about me. Once we learn and then put into action love and respect our self and then others, the door is open. That all centers on identifying with our Maker and what Jesus taught us. I’m jumping on the soap box and letting you know -  Reaching your full potential to self-actualization and being great centers on love and respect. (Click To Tweet)

Why do I mention all of this?

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” Abraham Maslow

So it’s about finding hope… and peace, within our self and in the world around us. It’s also about identifying with our Maker and focusing on our calling.

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to His disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:30-32

Self-actualization can’t be achieved by the self-righteous any more that it can by the one who is stuck grasping to fulfill their basic needs. While I admire Maslow’s work and the basis for it, a study of highly “successful” people including Albert Einstein, Jane Addams, Eleanor Roosevelt and Frederick Douglass, many intellectuals face a different battle in their quest for achievement, success and identity.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians 2:18-19

Where there is Jesus, there is hope. There is also direction, contentment and peace that transcends understanding. That, to me, is the full meaning of life. Finding His way and plan for me, as the Lord gave me my spiritual gifts and talents to use to His glory. It’s really not all that much about me, when you put it in the proper context. It’s all about where you find your identity. Do you find that in yourself, or in Jesus? That, to me, is the centering of self-actualization – where do we find our identity?

Image courtesy of J. Finkelstein on wikipedia.com

Achieving Diversity Through Unity

A picture of the church achieving diversity through unity? Likely not.

Achieving diversity in any group requires us to “grow outside the box.”

We can get there by showing hospitality to visitors who want to join in. The Bible encourages us to do this, being receptive to all people, including non-believers, coming into the church. Should we allow sinners to participate? Absolutely. We’re all sinners, right? Further, going beyond a simple invitation to making everyone feel a part of our body of believers.

Reading through the book of Revelation, Chapters 2 and 3, you’ll find there are some words of the Lord for the seven churches of Asia Minor. If you visit some churches today, you can find those who actually represent these churches described in the Book of Revelation – The Churches of Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia, and Laodicea. Mere coincidence? Ummm, likely not. Research clearly shows that many churches today go through a life-cycle – some flourishing while they’re focused on doing things right and doing the right thing, others withering and fading away…

My thought here is that achieving diversity through unity is one of these “doing things right.” Consider the Church at Philadelphia – referred to by Jesus as “the church of the open door.” Geographically, this community was built-in a frontier area as a gateway to the central plateau of Asia Minor. The open door also represents a church that is a portal of invitation by spreading the Gospel – thereby making the door to salvation an equal opportunity to everyone. Further, the people of Pergamum, where the church of Philadelphia is located, were considered living in a fragile area, physically due to earthquakes but also spiritually as they were under attack spiritually (is this sounding familiar in comparison to modern-day believers/followers?) Jesus even recognized the spiritual endurance and patience of these people, and encouraged them to hold on in a broken world…

Contrasting to the Church at Sardis, a body of believers who had a solid reputation, Jesus spoke… “I know your deeds”… and stating they are spiritually dead – rich and cocky, having soiled their clothes… most but not all… they focused inward and exchanged the spirit of unity for the comforts of this world…

We need to reach that happy stage of our development when differences and diversity are not seen as sources of division and distrust, but of strength and inspiration. Josefa Iloilo

Diversity is the greatest factor in unity, as unity is defined as a state of oneness, harmony and a totality or related parts. (Click To Tweet) It means we are undivided, regardless of the differences we may share in some areas of our lives or beliefs. That only happens with diversity.

I’m not referring to the bad actors we know as the wolves here. Paul forewarned us that wolves would mix within our congregations as soon as he left, so we can be certain they’re already present. However, many of them are difficult to spot! They “blend in” by wearing the sheep’s clothing. Literally, that’s what the Bible says. Many also prey on the innocent. They only like parts of the Gospel, refusing to strap on the sword of the Spirit, or the Word of God, which should be savored in all of its Glory. Remember, the wolf is an extremely social animal, they run in packs where they have close ties and loyalties. As it relates to unity, these packs are like having five index fingers… they won’t work together on a single hand when it attempts to attach to the body. One can’t replace the thumb with an index finger or a big toe for that matter… and why would we want to? Here’s an interesting interpretation of the wolves… while they may take the face of the sexually immoral, they’re more often noted as those who disrupt unity and harmony in our church today. Why do I bring all this up about the wolves? Remember, the folks on Sardis Street looked good on the outside however their clothes were soiled…

Think of it this way… the Bible tells us the church, the bride or Christ, is made up of one body with many parts. All of the parts have to fit and work together. This, to me, is the perfect picture of unity… and of achieving it through diversity. That’s how we get there in the “conflict of the two ages” or this time before Jesus returns to unite us within the fold… in the meantime, were all players on a chessboard… where will you fall in the battle between good and evil? In Isaiah Chapter 56, the Lord says, “My house will be called a house of prayer for all the people.”

And Jesus’ final words to each of the 7 churches? “He who has ears let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” In fact, He repeats it several times in Chapters 2 and 3 of Revelation.

If you had to pick a body part, what part do you see yourself as in the body of believers?

Image courtesy of Joey Lax-Salinas

The Top Reason To Stop Making Excuses And Focus On The Most Relevant

Are you living out the dream?

Recently I got super busy. This is a good thing, but it leaves me feeling down in a way as I don’t feel as close to the Lord. Whenever I get really busy I have to be more intentional about deciding how I’m going to spend my time. Sometimes, that makes me feel bad… like I’m neglecting some things or some people.

At the same time, the exercise of going through my activities is a grounding experience – I learn from it. Like some of the stuff that doesn’t make “The A List” didn’t really belong in my world anyway. While it may have served a purpose for a season, it’s simply not a part of my calling or long-term agenda. I can see those to-do’s more clearly now, particularly when I’m hopping on it.

My writing has taken more of a back seat right now. I’m good with that, having chalked up 4 books in the past 4 years. Intentionally taking a break from writing daily last summer was a good decision, while this time I expect my long-term plan for writing more books will prosper through the experiences that I’m sure I’ll go through on the immediate horizon. I’m ok with all of that. Just a part of living the dream…

Are you living out your dream too? There are some fairly common stumbling blocks to living out the dream… I’m bringing all this up as I want to encourage you to live your passions, and to go forth and prosper. No regrets, remember?

If you have a dream that is super important don’t make excuses about WHY you can’t achieve it – instead, figure out how to get from point A to point B and make it happen. Sure, there may be setbacks along the way, but these obstacles will make achieving your dream all the more savory. There are times we need to stop making excuses and stay focused on the most relevant.

Many of the barriers to achieving your dream are imaginary. They’re excuses that we use to justify not crossing the boundary to the uncomfortable arena of vulnerability, or the land of fear or the possibility of failure. At the same time we miss the impelling opportunity to live out the dream…

Our passion comes alive because our soul is into it. God ignited a flame inside us that shines brightest when we are obedient. (Click To Tweet)

So what’s holding you back?

A vast majority of this illogical reasoning has to do with what other people might think. Should we really care? As one who has battled adversity on many occasions let me assure you the pundits are there for only one reason: jealousy. Pay no attention…

What is your penchant? Maybe you should be chasing that, without delay. Do you charge into Happy Monday? Maybe it’s time to make that change…

Image courtesy of katmary on flickr.com

How You Will Know When It’s Time For A Change

Time to saddle up and ride?

Life change can be super scary. I’m not going to kid you and try to convince you otherwise. I think that’s why we’re often so resistant to change, because it requires a leap of faith. It leaves us in an uncomfortable place called vulnerability. Change takes guts, sometimes just to recognize and then profess that we need to change, and to take the resultant, formidable action. Yikes.

“Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” John Wayne

Well said Duke, on the courage to change, or saddling up in the spirit of doing good.

How do we know when it’s time for a change?

Whenever we yearn for the future or escape by daydreaming about memories. I know what you’re thinking… it is good to be excited about the future, and to have fond memories – we’re in the same boat on that one. However, if we’re not living for the here and now, we’re missing something. There’s a disconnect for some reason. Figure it out, and give it a twist – just saying…
When the daily routine seems like we’re just going through the motions. Life becomes stale and stagnant. We’ve essentially stopped growing at this point. The routine is drab. This is as draining as being stuck in hypothetical paralysis. Dude, it’s time to lively up yourself.
If you find yourself avoiding the truth. You could just be lying to yourself or to other people as well. The truth is foundational to change and growth. Remember, where there is truth there is freedom.

“Being true to yourself means living in truth with each person in your life. It means refusing to say or do something that you don’t believe is right. Living in truth with other people means that you refuse to stay in any situation where you are unhappy with the behavior of another person. You refuse to tolerate it. You refuse to compromise.”

— Brian Tracy

Time for a cool change?

Something or someone got you down… but you’re beginning to see the light?

Remember, there may be some resistance or hesitation… so you may need some help.

Strap on the armor brother and join the enlightenment found in the Word of God!! Memorize some “it is written’s” to carry with you throughout the day, and lock down some friends of the faith as prayer warriors. They’ll also be there like a rock to help you move forward. If there is anything ailing you that you need to give up to the Lord, jettison it. You have a choice to make and the choice should be to be happy.

Change is good. It happens. Embrace it for all the goodness this world has to offer.

How do you recognize the need to make change in your life? Do you have a close circle of friend who you can count on to help you move forward in life change?

Image by Auntie Rain on flickr.com

The Wound That Time Does Not Heal

Bandages are great for flesh wounds, but you can’t cover up wounds of the heart.

“Time heals all wounds.”

You’ve heard that one, right?

Believable? Maybe.

Did you know that time heals many wounds, but not all. Unfortunate as this statement may sound, it’s true. “Time heals all wounds” is a misnomer.

The funny thing is the Bible tells us to forgive instantly. Easier said than done, right? I think the time involved with the healing process of forgiveness helps us grow in spiritual maturity. The harder I have to work to give it up to God, the closer this process of forgiveness draws me to Him.

What if you’re not willing to let it go?

The possibilities seem endless…

Addictions, anger, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, immorality, insomnia, passive aggression, personality disorders, relationship troubles, stress, violence… wow, what a list! Yep, they can all fester from a nagging wound of the past. That’s a lot of baggage to carry around. So that one little thing that you just can’t let go will also separate you from God. Like a well-placed bandage, you can cover it up but that doesn’t make this wound go away. It can also ruin your life.

You may have heard that an angry person stirs up dissension… that one is from Proverbs Chapter 29. The birds of dissension are circling to devour and peck away, festering up and irritating at what should be a waxing moon. So the unsightly spirit of a hardened heart overflows something like the wellspring (the good overflow).  What? What? Yep, dissension flows from the hardened heart and spreads like an out-of-control wildfire to disrupt unity in our communities. Remember from The Wellspring Of Life, whatever we’re storing up in our heart eventually flows from it. That works not only for goodness, but for the bad stuff as well.

Whether wronged by word or deed, time will never heal a wound that we refuse to let go. If you don’t move on, you lose.

The other option?

Forgiveness is the most powerful medicine for our soul. If you want to master your past at some point in time you’ll have to learn forgiveness. (Click To Tweet)

Time does help the dust settle. As humans, sometimes we need that… time to regroup. In the meantime, something else may just happen… we’re making a choice and a bitter fruit is given the opportunity to take hold. My thought process has become to start thinking forgiveness immediately. While it still may take time, I know my objective.

Still don’t feel like forgiving? The Bible tells us to forgive as the Lord forgives us. When we refuse to let it go (man, let it go!) we are effectively refusing to grow more like Christ – and that separates us from God. Bummer dude, as you’re now going it alone and down a dark and dusty road…

Seeking and finding forgiveness is finding something pleasant… quite different from the list above, the symptoms of a hardened heart, the wound that time will never heal, unforgiveness. Chose to forgive and you will find peace, love and joy… the centerpiece of the Fruit of the Spirit.

Can you see friends or relatives who are harboring unforgiveness in their hearts? How can we encourage others to actively seek forgiveness for those festering wounds?

Image courtesy of World Relief

Stuck In Hypothetical Paralysis?

Don’t be hypnotized by the hypotheticals

Hypothetical paralysis… a Chris-ism for waiting around for something to happen, like a hypothetical. It’s a bummer. Waiting is paralyzing like a transmission that’s stuck in second gear. Low on fluid and out of get up and go. Further, hypotheticals are possibilities. Many are worth nurturing, just like chasing a dream. Being paralyzed by them is just not a great place to be.

A goal without a plan is simply a dream. It’s ok to dream but you have to convert. Many dreams are worth intentionally chasing. (Click To Tweet)

Been there? Done that.

Inaction is in itself a decision but not often a wise one. Contemplating? Sure, there’s a time and a place for pondering. Then again, to think is way different from hypothetical paralysis. Thinking should be a conscious choice that leads to action… here’s the special sauce: don’t get caught in hypothetical paralysis on a junta that is supposed to be a 3-hour tour.

Waiting on God, you may say? He’s actually waiting on us to take action in most scenarios!

“Where’s this God of yours?” Lieutenant Dan to Gump as they continue to throw down the nets, coming up empty every time. Sure it was discouraging at times, but they took action. Repeatedly doing the right thing. Then God showed up in a mighty way. Faithful obedience always pays off. The flood gates opened when He did arrive… first in the form of a mighty tropical cyclone… then, as He filled the nets of the only shrimp boat left.

Having the spirit of optimism and angelic appreciation is intangible… impossible to put a price on, worthy of awe. Captivating as seizing the moment. Vested destiny when we make the choice to take action.

Hypothetical paralysis… maybe we’re just looking through the wrong lens? No, not really. It’s similar to living in irrational fear. What do we have to fear when we have God on our side? If you want to fear something be afraid of lost opportunity. (Click To Tweet)

That is obvious.

Just showing up is never enough. Don’t let yourself get stuck in 2nd gear. Seize the moment. Chose to take action…

Have you ever been stuck on a hypothetical scenario or felt paralyzed by fear?

Image by Jeremy Fernsler on flickr.com

Our Epic Entitlement

The Troubadour. Image courtesy of Gary Minnaert on Wikipedia

Our entitlements… they’re the things we often think of as personal belongings. We’ve worked long and hard for them and consider ownership over them; retirement benefits, a good job that pays well as a result of our completing certain educational requirements, or even the narcissistic belief that we have the right to demand reimbursement from fate. They may even be “given” by virtue of legislation or the principles of our culture today. How did we earn them? We worked hard at school for our education, socking away savings with every paycheck, or otherwise contributed to or served our nation or society.

So we were talking in Disciple Group a while ago about the future. It seemed years ago that people cruised through life banking on retirement. Then what? Interestingly, a leader in the group was also an investment banker. He told stories of people who have planned their whole lives around retirement and what they plan to do THEN. Did they really miss the boat? Many people got there and found out they did. Entitlements from a worldly view are sort of like living for tomorrow – we make huge sacrifices, even working in jobs or careers that are distasteful all for the promises of tomorrow… then everything changes. The economy goes south, our health takes a turn for the worse, or we’re passed over… hey, what about my entitlement?

Our epic entitlement? We have just one…

The tremendous entitlement that we each have is opportunity. Think about it: the power of choice is opportunity. Even writing a blog is an opportunity to serve and help other people. Opportunity is what we make of it. Nothing more, nothing less. Have you ever let a good opportunity pass you by? Sure, we all have. We’ve also all made bad choices that turned out to be more like a stiff jail sentence than the journey down the road to a fairy tale ending.

Our epic entitlement is simply opportunity through freedom of choice. (Click To Tweet) That’s huge. Think of it as the free will to do what’s right.

Say you went to high school and graduated. Yay! You have a diploma, but more importantly you gained knowledge that you can use to help create opportunity. Are you entitled to anything? Not really. From there, you are accepted into a fine university and work hard to complete your formal education. Many consider this milestone to be an entitlement only to be humbled time and again. Your degree creates opportunities for you that you didn’t have before. However, they’re only what you make of them. There are highly educated people, including doctors and lawyers, who can’t hold down a job. Entitlement? Not. Opportunity creates fulfillment when we succeed, by virtue of our abilities and character. (Click To Tweet)

So I got to thinking about The Sad Cafe… The Troubadour. A metaphor in the making, this icon in West Hollywood has a history of opportunity and freedom. Here’s the video of some of the famous faces that have passed through the place. The Troubadour hosted the who’s who of rock and roll.

The Troubadour is no blip on the radar screen. Local hero’s are way cool but don’t get the wrong impression in the youthful penchant for trendy hipsters that there is something magnetic other than momentum. Show up, take the stage and be a rock star at The Troubadour back in the day and you were IT. Then, you’ve seized and fulfilled the opportunity. As the Eagles song goes, some of their dreams came true and some just passed away; some of them stayed behind inside the sad cafe. The song beckons our emotion to remember a time filled with hope and opportunity. I dig that. Pretty hip, and way cool.

“Look for the good in others, speak only words of kindness, and for poise walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” Audrey Hepburn

Indeed, we can still find goodness even in places which seem very distant from the Lord. We’re all entitled to the opportunity that Jesus provides. Like Andy Stanley says, “everyone’s invited, everyone gets in the same way, everyone meets the requirement.”

Moving forward… whenever you hear the word entitlement think opportunity. That’s it, nothing more or less. It’s good enough for me!

What entitlements or expectations do you have for the future? What opportunities do you see as most important for your future?

The Easiest Way To Harvest Wisdom

Harvest time!!

As I continue experiencing a fascination with people and their personalities, I’m enlightened with new insight on harvesting this gem we call wisdom. Just this week the quest became clearer…

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,

the man who gains understanding,

for she is more profitable than silver

and yields better returns than gold.

She is more precious than rubies,

nothing you desire can compare with her. Proverbs 3:13-15

So wisdom is the crown jewel? Well, there is a call to action that is even more valuable.

Let me toss you a little known nugget on wisdom: while wisdom may one day sneak up and bite you from an angle where you weren’t even looking, Proverbs 3:15 and other verses on wisdom teach that we should actively seek this treasure.

Of course, you can find wisdom in the Bible, and I believe we should seek this gem there! As we’re called to live in this world and interact with lots of different people, from all walks of life, in the name of peace, love and unity, we will energetically discover fresh insight and understanding from the people around us.

Here are two facets of how to harvest wisdom easily in your daily walk, from other people:

1. Surround yourself with wise people.

Think quality, not quantity. It’s not a contest to see who can gather the most Facebook friends. Friends are both a choice and a process.

The people who are closest to you either propel you forward to who you would like to become, or they will hold you back. The cool part is that you get to choose. (Click To Tweet)

Some folks have a tendency to drain us like water heading for a gutter, while others set our souls on fire. Surround yourself with those who are smart, optimistic and grounded. Contribute to them as much as you feel they do to you.

- It starts with knowing the person that you want to be. Even if you’re not where you want to be, you should have a personal mission statement - that should be a road map to where you’re heading.

Since we are the sum of our 5 closest friends, often when we recognize that we need to change ourselves we have to gain distance from some and possibly all of these people.

The truths about the people around you?

Friends are a choice, and they are in your life because you’ve chosen to put them there. Extending this thought it includes most people except maybe for your parents, you didn’t actually get to choose them, they sort of “chose” you though.


Friends are also a process. In saying that please recognize that it takes time to process who people are and what they’re all about.

“If I associate with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with eagles, I will learn to soar great heights.” Andy Andrews

Once you start connecting with wise people you’ll start to notice things. Like a compass always points to the north, the course of action of a helpful servant guides a path toward positive change and improvement. So we can use the “process of friends” to not only gain wisdom but also influence the outcome of humanity, just like the butterfly effect. Glean and savor this opportunity of wisdom.

2. Have a servant’s spirit.

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13

The cool thing about this is people will gravitate toward you when you humbly serve their needs. Humility is magnetic, and through serving others needs your eyes and ears will open up a new world of wisdom. Again, you’ll start to notice things that before you simply overlooked. People, especially those within your circle of influence, will fill you up with knowledge and understanding. Indeed, some of the things you see and hear in the daily walk are not all that becoming of humanity – however, we should remain encouraged!

“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” ~ Stephen Covey

Connection is sort of like admonishment – no connection, no admonishment. Just click click and turn it off. Disconnect, done and done. Granted, there is something more substantial to one-on-one connection, a level of connection or intimacy that you just don’t find in a large group of people. Sometimes connecting/disconnecting is just that easy, other times it’s like a drip in a bucket that keeps you up all night… why, Lord, why??

Frequently, God puts people in your life to reveal something about you that you’re not paying attention to. Have you ever had the thought, “I don’t really want that one to be in my realm, so why ARE they now within my workplace, my next-door neighbor, or the parents of my kid’s friends?” I see this all the time in my world. Remember my friend Mark Enge? I wasn’t looking to hire Mark when my close friend said, “Give Mark a job.” I was under the impression that he was one of my people projects, that I was serving his needs. That was true in part, while at the same time it was very much the other way around. He’s one of the people who I talk about in the story of my faith journey.

Some of the people who God has placed in your pathway are there for just that reason – to help you. Be thankful. Be thankful even for the adversarial ones. Yep, I have to be thankful for that one too. Be thankful and humbly serve their needs. You’ll be amazed at what the Holy Spirit will reveal and orchestrate in your life. People and relationships are a two-way street. So is wisdom when you surround yourself with the right people, and have a servant’s heart.

How important do you believe the people around you are to your self-improvement, or to reaching your calling?

Image courtesy of B4bees on flickr.com

On The Day ET Phoned Home…

ET’s communicator… more than the average Carrier Pigeon…

Remember ET? What a cute movie that blockbuster was! An acclaimed and timeless story of friendship, it takes the tenderness of children, the imagination of a genius, and the love of God and blends them in a memorable story that sets our souls ablaze.

The story is pretty straightforward: a “foreigner” comes to a strange land and accidentally gets left behind by his people. Maybe that was a part of his calling or whatever, but the little guy didn’t really jive with all of the locals and gets homesick, so he tries to reach his kinfolk to come get him.

Let’s pause right there: So how DO we know when the current events are in fact God’s will?

Should ET have just stayed here on planet earth and done his best to fit in? He was picking up on the language quickly from the 5 year old Gerthie (played by Drew Barrymore!) as she watches Sesame Street. Or was ET’s illness a sure sign that he needed to make that call so his tribe could come and fetch him?

Discerning God’s will can be confusing sometimes. If “What If” is a mystery this part of our calling doesn’t have to be.

ET connected with Elliott, the 10 year old boy who was his best earthly friend. Their psychic connection was pretty weird (remember, this is just the movies…). It reminds me of how we can connect with the Holy Spirit. ET is inspired to make a communication device while reading a Buck Rogers comic strip. So he needed something a little more jazzed up than an ordinary carrier pigeon, which would routinely suffice around these parts…yes, this device was no ordinary string and two cans… it was a souped up coffee can gadget including a “speak and spell” toy and an umbrella lined with tin foil. Oh snap!!

So I’ve been talking with lots of friends about spiritual connections and the Holy Spirit and what not… it seems not everyone feels or experiences this link. Possibly, if they’re believers, they have experienced the connection but just didn’t recognize it. I know, for me, that I can point to several occasions where I felt or experienced a strong connection. There are many instances where I feel connected, inspired and lead to God’s will though the Holy Spirit, almost daily.

Woe is me to the feeling of being spiritually depleted or empty. Looking for something more but simply having the empty feeling of missing breakfast when midday rolls around. ET connected the dots when he made the call. ET phoned home and completed the circuit. Formed the connection. From that point on things started to happen. ET turned deathly ill right before the spaceship showed up to give him a lift. Time to split the scene and high tail it out of there like the Clampetts hitting oil and heading for Beverly Hills…

Change happens when we recognize the need to improve our situation, and then take action. (Click To Tweet) – This is critical when compelled by the HS. That’s doing things right, and doing the right thing.

So like I feel connected a lot, and in many different ways. It makes me wonder when people who are believers say they don’t frequently or have never experienced a connection with the Holy Spirit whether:

something is separating them from the Holy Spirit, like sin, or
maybe they don’t know what to look for, or
maybe deep down in their heart they don’t believe.

When we believe and are baptized we receive the Holy Spirit. He dwells within us at this point…

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Francis Chan poses the question in his compelling narrative on the Holy Spirit, “Forgotten God” – “If it’s true that the Spirit of God dwells in us and that our bodies are the Holy Spirit’s temple, then shouldn’t there be a huge difference between the person who has the Spirit of God living inside of him or her and the person who does not?”

Seriously, it does seem a bit out of whack… the discrepancies we certainly can’t remain oblivious to between someone who is filled with the Spirit vs. those who are not.

I’m certainly no expert on the Holy Spirit and I’m not clear anyone else is either. Chan does an excellent job of deciphering the mystery, much better that I would ever claim to be capable of. However, I do believe Jesus was telling the truth when He said He was sending another “Counselor” who would be just like Him. So, as Chan points out, what could be more appealing in our world today… Jesus standing beside us or the fire of the Holy Spirit alive within us? Jesus came and went with a purpose… it baffles me why so many only chose to accept a portion of the Good News.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:7-8

The Q: How do you feel connected with the Holy Spirit? Do you feel His presence in your everyday life?

Image courtesy of Mattingly23 on wikipedia.com