Chris Vonada's Blog, page 4

What’s Your Best Day Ever?

The snow covered peak of Mauna Kea

What’s your best day ever?

Investing topic that came up recently with a few friends. They rattled it off without hesitation. I had to think about it a bit…

If you’re a frequent reader, you know that I love making memories. I call them “keepers” – those special moments in time that bring us great joy to think about.

Joy is so uplifting…

Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:8-9

So when it was my turn to share the best day ever I was lost in thought. Can I narrow it down to just one? There are so many…

Driving around the big island of Hawaii and seeing both the active Mauna Loa lava flows and then arriving at the dormant, snow-covered peak of Mauna Kea…

Skiing the back bowls of Vail on a powder day followed by dinner at the Game Creek and live music at 8150…

Hiking past the eons of geologic history from rim to river to rim of the Grand Canyon in a single day…

Or maybe it’s when God shows up?

I’ve had some golden days, too, just in the past month

The Beauty of Second Chances

I believe in second chances. Where the heck would I be without one? Nowhere. Exactly.

Maybe whatever happened the first time around was out of your control. For instance, say your spouse passed away. Does that mean God wants you to be alone? Of course not! It’s simply a season of change, albeit a difficult one.

Sometimes relationships end for the wrong reason. You shared the same values and dreams but, for whatever reason, someone gave up. After careful consideration, you realized that you blew it. Hey, we all mess up at times. You may have to rebuild trust or communicate better. Is that worthwhile? If you still have feelings and there is an emotional attachment and attraction, maybe it’s time to give it another go.

Whatever the reason or circumstances we all deserve a second chance. God only wants the best for us. Is your heart prepared to receive the blessing?

God gives us a second chance… and then some! That’s why He sent Jesus, right? We’re all hopeless without the second chance offered through the blood of Christ.

When life doesn’t work out the way we anticipated it’s often how we react that says something important about us. Do you believe in second chances?

How to proceed with a second chance?

– Focus on forgiveness. Whether it’s God or someone else that we need to forgive, this is likely an element. Maybe you need to forgive yourself too? We can forgive since God first forgave us.

– Be committed to openness and don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Respect? Sure. Humbly show respect. Have the kindness to suck it up and get back in the ring. That’s called teamwork.

Giving someone or yourself a second chance may be the best decision you’ve ever made, and provide the best that life has to offer. Don’t be afraid of second chances… the response and results may just surprise you!

Image by CarolinaJG on Morguefile.com

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Forrest and the Fruit Stock

Forrest Gump invested early in “the fruit stock” – Apple. Did that wise decision change him? Not really…

I learned an invaluable lesson in high school from a teacher who taught us the basics of investing. Over a school year, we picked and tracked stocks. That experience paid off.

I also learned along the way how to protect myself from the ones looking to take advantage of my generosity – those looking for something of this world.

Wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold and rubies. Proverbs 20:15

You see, there is something quite different about someone who cares for me for just who I am vs. someone who does so for what I have.

My inherent nature to be generous became an impediment at times. And so I made a few changes…

Forrest, like the real world role models who I learned from, lead a very simple life. He wore the same hat whether he was mowing the grass at his mom’s place or meeting with the President.

I like that. That doesn’t mean I haven’t bought many Tahitian pearls and David Yurman jewelry for those of my affection. I have. And I enjoy that pleasure. However, I don’t lead with that anymore.

What to do with all of those rocks…

Likewise, when life becomes too personal to write about, what do I have left to say? As you know, I often write about what’s happening in my life with careful consideration of the other people who are involved. That said, it’s a challenge when life gets gritty.

How do I meet God’s current challenge for me, to encourage and serve others? These are very selfless tasks. I go back to my role models… including, of course, Jesus.

“And that’s all I have to say about that.” FG

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Psalm 19: The Perspective of Life with God

The first full rainbow.

A couple of weeks ago the Lord laid out the perspective of life with God by placing Psalm 19 on my heart. Specifically, verse 1:

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.

I read it a few times and thought, hmmm, that’s a beautiful verse.

Then the rays of God’s light shined brighter. God showed up.

I was hanging out at the marina a week later and “coincidentally,” there was a full rainbow in the sky. I didn’t put 2 and 2 together just yet. Amazingly, the very next day another perfect rainbow showed up… exactly the same place in the sky. Now that got my attention as I’ve never had that experience before. After thinking about it for a while, I felt that God was communicating with me. Shazam!!

At that point, I went back to His word…

Psalm 19 is relatively short, just 14 verses. It puts a life with God into perspective. This comes into play because the passage of scripture, in its brevity, rolls out how we live a life in God’s presence. There are 3 parts to it:

Recognizing the majesty and glory of God
A celebration of the perfection of the word of God
Contemplating life with God in light of our imperfections

And so I’ve been stuck on these verses…

Perspective. Yes, this is a powerful concept. It’s relevant. Perspective is everything…

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Dr. Wayne Dyer

Life here can be a hot mess when we portray an image of having it all together, when in fact, we live in a state of disarray. That’s easier than ever today with the connectedness we feel from social media. We tend to portray the good, and leave out the downside.I’m not referring to a total train wreck here…

“When a train goes through a tunnel, and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.” Corrie Ten Boom

In fact, life with God here on the third ball of wax is not intended to be perfect. We all go through it. Think of it as a call to action to be closer to Him.

Actions speak more than words. What do your actions say about your life in the presence of God and other people? Are they pointing toward Him or something else?

Interestingly, this past weekend I was on the sailboat just leaving the mooring in St. Augustine. This is an interesting place. If you’ve never been, it’s worth a stop by to see the Castillo de San Marcos, the Spanish colonial outpost and oldest masonry fort in the continental U.S., among many other points of interest.

We woke up early, well before dawn, hand breakfast and decided it was time to cast off on our offshore journey back to Jacksonville. It was going to be a full day and no need to burn any daylight.

As I was sitting on the deck and enjoying the serenity of sunrise, the rainbow came to mind again. Why was this so persistent? I said a prayer, thanking God for always being there and for His determined pursuit of me.

The third partial rainbow

Amazingly, I turned around and there He was again… Another rainbow, but this time only a portion of one.

What’s the significance of that?

Well, I had to ponder on that idea too and came to the conclusion that it relates to my verses. It leads me back to perspective again. I believe the partial rainbow ties up the passage. The first two rainbows were perfect and complete. They represent the first two parts of scripture:

Recognizing the majesty and glory of God
A celebration of the perfection of the word of God

And the third, partially complete rainbow?

Contemplating life with God in light of our imperfections

We’re so imperfect. Through the lens of the firmament and the blood of Jesus we have hope.

I know, crazy message. Just wanted to share that today as it’s been on my mind and in my heart lately. God works in amazing ways! We just have to keep our eyes open and pay attention

Building Your Relationship with God and People Through Patience

Patience is a virtue we should all pursue

Have you ever prayed to God for something and felt Him telling you to be patient?

Patience is powerful stuff. It’s a fruit of the Spirit and an essential key to better relationships with God and other people.

We typically want things our way and in our own timing. What do you do when that doesn’t work out? Recently I had one of these experiences. I prayed a lot about it and God’s answer: Be patient. Repeatedly, those were His instructions.

So I waited. Here are 2 things the Lord has taught me through my experiences:

Sometimes when we’re patient, He will reveal that what we wanted wasn’t the right choice for us or His will for us.

When I’m patient, I make better decisions. I’ve made some pretty poor decisions when I was hasty. Unfortunately, we don’t get a do-over.

Paul points out in Romans 8:28 that if we obey and serve God as we should that everything will work out for our good.

More recently, I’m so glad I followed His instruction. You might say I woke up one morning with a bit of an epiphany. God revealed to me details that I didn’t know about me… and about other people. His instruction became clearer, and I feel at peace. His way is better than my way any day!

Often it’s also a matter of timing.

His timing, which is perfect. God doesn’t promise that He will answer our prayers right away. In fact, He may not answer them in exactly the way we desire.

Practicing patience as a virtue shows God that we trust in Him and have faith. (Click to Tweet)

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience” James 1:2-3

So there is a direct correlation between faith and patience.

Patience with other people shows love and respect.

This can be a challenge at times. Remember, though, somewhere along the line, someone had to be patient with you too!

1 Corinthians 13 is described as “The Way of Love.” An essential component of love in these verses is “long-suffering,” or patience.

Patience with others is a sign of honor, respect, and integrity. When someone asks us to be patient, we should. Following our agenda is not doing so, in our relationship with God or other people.

“Patience serves as protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.” Leonardo da Vinci

So true, being patient is also a good way to guard your heart, mind, and soul.

Therefore, have faith, and be patient. When we follow His will we find joy and peace whatever the circumstances.

Photo courtesy of Mike Barwood on flickr.com

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5 Signs You’re a Good Listener

Good listing skills are essential to excellent communication.

My Disciple Group coach told me long ago that people tend to open up around me. I took that as a huge compliment. As a group leader, one of the challenges is to facilitate engagement (on a deep, meaningful level). I attribute a lot of that success to being a good listener. How do you know if you are one? Here are 5 signs that you’re a good listener:

You Express Empathy

To express empathy is to put yourself info the other person’s position. It’s about caring.

Be genuine. There is nothing more detrimental to your communication with other people than them knowing that you’re not sincere to their feelings.We all have feelings. Even guys.

Empathy is not about you; it’s about the person on the other side of the table. If you think you’re good at communicating but don’t express empathy to the other person you’re wrong. Get this part right!

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

Asking Follow-Up Questions

This is so important to engaging in the conversation. Ask follow up questions and stay on topic. Connect their answers to each other. One of my favorite strategies to understand people better is to link their responses to something they said earlier.

When someone says they’re a perfectionist, you might ask, “How does your perfectionism play out in your work?”

Be careful with this though as you don’t want to interrogate the person.

Your Reaction to Criticism and Disagreements

For me, I find there is always something to learn here. Whether I agree with the criticism I will try to take the time to reflect on it. Sometimes they’re right, and other times it seems to be a lack of understanding (that’s up next, see below… lol).

Disagreements? Well, first off winning an argument is absolutely meaningless.

I seek to understand the other person’s point of view. While I may not always agree, I take it on the wing.

How we resolve a disagreement is always more important than the issue at hand. (Click to Tweet)

You Truly Seek to Understand the Person You’re Talking with

Ok, so I’m a words of affirmation person. So words are meaningful to me. They have the power to kindle a fire in my soul, and at times they can also rip a hole right through my heart.

What’s up with all of that? Well, words will tell you a lot about the person you’re communicating with, if you listen carefully.

You see, listening is an art. So while words are important to me, seeking to understand the person that I’m talking with takes your communication to a different level. Understanding the other person, who they are and what’s going on in their life will lead to a more intimate conversation and relationship, be it a friendship, business associate, and yes, even your spouse.

You View Listening as a Learning Process

There is a great deal you can learn from listening, both about people and interpersonal relationships.

Did you know that body language is an excellent way to engage in conversation? It lets the other person know their voice is being heard. Maintain eye contact, and use affirmative gestures such as nodding. In doing so, you encourage others to share their thoughts.

Listening has a powerful potential, it’s the most important facet of good communication.

Recognizing your shortcomings as a listener will help you improve. Hey, we’re all on the learning curve here.

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The 3 Most Important Attitudes the Successful Use to Overcome Failure

“Well, that didn’t work out quite the way I anticipated.” Have you ever uttered these words? Sure, we all have. For whatever reason, it can be difficult to overcome failure, recoup, and move forward.

If we are to succeed at anything we have to try. Remember, the greatest risk is not taking one.

Do successful people fail? You betcha!

Walt Disney was let go from a newspaper job because the editor felt he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

Steven Spielberg was turned down by the USC School of Cinematic Arts. Multiple times.

Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was then fired from 2 jobs for not being productive. He then went on to hold over 1,000 patents and created some life-changing devices, including the light bulb, phonograph, and a movie camera.

J.K. Rowling was a single mom living off welfare when she began writing the first “Harry Potter” novel. The book was rejected by 12 publishers before she received a nominal advance from the next.

There are many more stories just like these. What set these brilliant, successful people apart? They’re the 3 most important attitudes when we fail:

Perspective.

Hey, we all fail at some point in our lives. Putting failure in the proper perspective is the most critical reaction. It’s significant here to recognize that failure is most often related to something that you did than something that you are. So don’t take failure personally or as a reflection of your self-worth.

Own up to your mistakes and move forward. People who succeed don’t get discouraged by life’s setbacks. They are adept and can focus on the future opportunities, and their dreams become reality while others are sitting on the sidelines.

If you’ve been a reading of I’m Just Thinkin’ for a while you know that I’m a huge fan of perspective. It’s powerful stuff.

Optimism.

An optimistic person will bounce right off failure.

The optimist is resilient. They can rise from ashes. An optimist will see failure as a way of gaining wisdom and invaluable feedback.

The glass is half full to the optimist, whereas the pessimist sees the glass as half empty. Our optimistic view is to tend to believe the best possible outcome from a situation. This is in line with God’s plan. Remember Romans 8:28:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

We adapt and find the value of a positive spirit when we fail. Carpe Diem to all of the optimistic!

Persistence.

Persistence is what you do with optimism in light of failure. It’s optimism in action. (Click to Tweet)

Persistent people can shake off failure and soldier on, while others are calling it a day and going home. They clearly see their goals and are focused on achieving them.

This makes the optimistic one great at rising to the top. If something in life is that important to me, I have to be persistent. Persistence and determination are omnipotent! Don’t ever give up on your dreams.

So… where does God fit into all of this?

“I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16: 7-8

That’s right; God is by your side. Stay encouraged and remember the 3 most important attitudes the successful use to overcome failure. They will serve you well.

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Why You Should Be The Ball

Be The Ball.

The eccentric slacker and scratch golfer Ty Webb’s profound advice to young Danny Noonan in the slapstick comedy Caddyshack. It’s the tone-setting first scene.

“There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. All you have to do is get in touch with Him. Stop thinking. Let things happen. And be the ball.” Ty, played by Chevy Chase.

Then Ty takes a wedge and, wearing a blindfold, dribbles the ball onto the green leaving a short birdie putt.

I guess the writers may not have intended the parallel I found in life with being the ball.

Consider this:

The golfers. Well, these are a typical country club lot in the movie.

Let’s start with Judge Smails. The conceited and selfish co-founder of the club is played by Ted Knight. He was a bit stodgy. Plain and dull. Blah.

Then there’s the flamboyant, obnoxious misfit Al (played by Rodney Dangerfield). A real troublemaker. He and Smails are at odds the entire movie. He has a way of getting under Smails’ skin. His character is further embellished as a reprehensible power boater when he sinks Smails boat by dropping his anchor through her midship. Well, credit Smails here as at least he has had a sailboat lol.

Bishop Pickerling is retired Navy. He’s not a great golfer and while playing the round of his life (and Carl caddying – another story about that Carl…) gets struck by lightning. Afterward, the Bishop seems to give up on God. And golf.

Dr. Beeper? You guessed it, a Doctor with the beeper constantly going off on the course.

Al calls him Dr. Frankenputz. Slightly blander than Smails.

It’s an exclusive establishment. Hey, I’m not knocking them. I used to play golf and tennis on the country club circuit. And I enjoyed it.

The characters bring to mind that we all have issues. What about you?

That’s where the club comes in. It’s the instrument through which we connect.

Jesus is the club. It’s how we connect or hopeless selves with our bright future. We couldn’t have a relationship with God without Jesus. That’s why He came.

Did God invent the golf club? Scotland takes the credit here. It all started in the 1,400’s. But I’m certain the good Lord had a hand in it.

Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27

Are you gripping the club? Are you in touch with Him?

The ball. Think of the ball as the future you. Moving forward by the force created when the club head connects. The ball isn’t moving without the club. Or the golfer, for that matter.

Remember, the Bishop gave up on God and the game of golf. Do we need to play golf to connect with God? Certainly not. It’s just my abstract metaphor for the day since I think a lot. Yes, I guess I need to follow Ty’s wisdom and stop thinking so much…

Being the ball requires that we move from our former selves to a bright, new future as a believer through the presence of Jesus in our lives. It’s pretty simple and at the same time, life changing. Think of the golfer as your former self and the ball as the new you.

This also helps us deal with the past. Dwelling on the past is a trick of the evil one to drag you down. Remember, there are only two ways to change history.

To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

And my quote:

The secret to change is not resisting what we’re called to leave behind, it is the burning desire to build upon what is new. (Click To Tweet)

Like Ty says we want to be the ball. Will you?

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You Never Know When A “Keeper” Will Happen

Babies first steps

A “Keeper” – those moments in life that we cherish. Seeing your daughter take her first steps. An extra special holiday. It may even be an event from your childhood, like the first time you rode your bicycle without training wheels.

We can’t plan these events. They just happen when we are experiencing life.

Hopefully your wedding day and graduation are keepers too. Sure, they are planned events that rock. Beyond these moments you never know when a keeper will occur.

The key to experiencing the “keepers” in this world is to live life to the fullest. (Click To Tweet)

 

And to always be thankful.

What separates us most from these experiences?

Well, I try to keep busy. However, I know there is a point where I am too overloaded. It’s an evil lure. A keeper might happen when we’re hustling. However, often times were emotionally unavailable then. We’re disconnected from our friends and family. During these times the potential for memories pass us by.

“Cherish the fabulous, the fantastic, the beautiful, the graceful, the moments of abandon, laughter, quirkiness. Cherish the tiny incredible details, the gigantic & varied display, and the infinite depths – of life.” Jay Woodman

Now there’s perspective. From this mindset, we have much to be thankful for.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,

and into His courts with praise.

Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

For the Lord is good;

His mercy is everlasting,

and His truth endures to all generations. Psalm 100:4-5

Remain available with an eye open for the keepers in life and make yourself accessible to them. You may be surprised at how many you find!

Photo courtesy of Dermot O’Halloran on flick.com

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Bridging The Gap With Trust

Bridging the gap. It’s an idiom used to connect two things, making the difference between them smaller.

Sometimes in life there is a gap. It may be the difference between something we learn and applying it. Or, it may have something to do with the future or uncertainty.

There are many examples.

For instance, when we walk across the street we bridge the gap with trust by believing the drivers are going to act in a certain way. Hopefully, in a manner so they will not run us over! On the road, we trust that drivers will stay in their lanes. We believe the airline pilot will be sober and alert.

To trust is to believe that someone is going to act in a particular manner.

“To maintain the relational integrity necessary to operate as a team, we must choose to trust and to be trustworthy as a team.” Andy Stanley

Andy describes how we use this concept to connect work teams with trust. Relational integrity… I like that!

The same is true in our interpersonal relationships outside of work. When we choose to trust, we bridge the gap of uncertainty for future actions. We believe the person who is trusted in going to do what is expected. When that doesn’t happen, we lose the relational integrity. The gap widens.

Conversely, when people do behave in a trustworthy manner, the gap closes in. It becomes smaller, and we move forward a step.

“Trust involves the juxtaposition of people’s loftiest hopes and aspirations with their deepest worries and fears.” Jeffry A. Simpson

There are trust and the gap again. This time, the gap is fear and worry.

Why do people have trouble trusting? For some, the benefits of closeness and intimacy are overshadowed by the possibility of pain and betrayal. Past experiences are often in play here.

Remember, bridges are built on piers or pillars. These foundational structures help the bridge handle the structural load. For us, in life, the pillars that hold up the bridge are often the positive, small baby steps we take in moving forward.

With God, we know we can trust Him to keep His promises. How does the Lord help us bridge the gap?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

God’s got your back. Establish safe boundaries. Taking the next step in life is easier with this assurance. I think that helps people of faith bridge the gap. With trust.

Image courtesy of John Spooner on flickr

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