Chris Vonada's Blog, page 13

Summer Mode

I’m berry excited about summer!

Life seems to change in the summertime. School is out. It gets hot and sticky. The line gets long at the frozen yogurt establishments.

This is a great time for me to take a break from writing, to change it up and unplug a little.

Taking a break is refreshing. Excited to see where God leads and inspires me during this “season”!

I’m aiming at posting here just twice a month through the summer. We’ll see what happens…

“For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was His plan from before the beginning of time – to show us His grace through Christ Jesus.” 2 Timothy 1:9

What are your plans for summer mode?

Image courtesy of madlyinlovewithlife on flickr

Does 10 + 1 = 7 ? (It All Adds Up To Extraordinary Relationships)

Well, if you’ve followed the 10 + 1 series over the past year you may realize that I have reworked the material into The 7 Essentials Of Extraordinary Relationships, the subtitle of my new book that was released today, May 15th. There are, in fact, 11 chapters to the book, but only 7 of the building blocks were strong enough, IMHO, to make the list. It all adds up to love as this is the twine that ties it all together. You know, the cord of three strands? Yep, it’s a Jesus thing!

Here’s a glimpse of “All Sorts And Conditions Of People”…

“… and they lived happily ever after…” - It’s the standard ending to fairy tales, or stories that imply the good characters were blessed with happiness or joy. Happily ever after suggests we’ve found the right person or people to share life with. The saying also implies that the journey is ending. That’s cool in fairy tales. In our lives that’s just when things get exciting, and real. I’ll outline how finding the right people is where the journey begins, and the 7 Essentials that I will share with you will then put you on the right track to having extraordinary relationships.

Surrounding yourself with the right people is probably the most important aspect of finding satisfaction in your life here on earth, next to having a personal relationship with Jesus.

Sound interesting? You can take a closer look inside at Amazon by clicking this link, and purchase it there too!

It Could Happen… (Why I Like Medium)

“We now live in a world of infinite information. Most of our systems weren’t designed for this world. Even if you had the best recommendation system ever, and everyone stopped publishing interesting stuff tomorrow, you’d never get through all the content you’re interested in. You need a place to start. So our goal is to help people pay attention to the most valuable stuff first and to have the best ideas win.” Ev Williams,  founder of Medium.

Like I said about 6 months ago, a whole bunch of people just spent a whole bunch of time writing a whole bunch of material on the internet. How do we sift through the ashes to find the best of the best? I believe they just may have a model with the A to the Q.

These guys brought us Blogger. And Twitter. Hello, did you register that one? Like these dudes have been on the cusp before, maybe just maybe they’re on to some new goodness here too?

So here’s their angle:

Great ideas compete on their own merit at Medium. They rank short stories and manifestos based on interest and engagement.
They claim the best in-browser editor on the web. There is no layer of abstraction. “Smooth as butter and like no other” – Hmmm… it is incredibly clean. What writing should be
Writing here is a collaborative effort. That can be in the form of writing on a shared idea, or by inviting collaborators to help polish up a piece before publishing it. I like both of these possibilities.

OK, I got an invite and I hung out a shingle. “Just Out There” is my namesake. I have some material on the back burner for this place… we’ll see where it goes.

Please stop by and check it out, pretty cool!

The HA!! : The Secret Sauce To Reaching Home Plate

Time for “The HA!!” – This is my mini-series on life lessons I’ve gained through my humbling sports endeavors… I LOVE sports but genuinely suck at most of them, and, therefore, I’m a “HA = Humbled Athlete.” Please check out the posts in this series by clicking this link.

The NY Yankees… the best team money can buy?

Baseball, like many sports, is a world of statistics. They keep track of lots of numbers – runs, hits, errors, earned run average, runs batted in, and batting average, just to name a few. One number they don’t keep track of: What are the odds of any given batter making it around the bases and scoring? I guess this stat, like a cumulative of the rest, goes into the most important one of all, the won – lost column.

Growing up in Vero Beach, we had a professional baseball team for spring training. The Brooklyn Dodgers, later moving to L.A., trained in Vero from 1948 to 2008. They had a decent team at the time I was growing up and watching them play. It was fun to brush shoulders with legends.

I started following the Yankees later on. I guess if there was a baseball team that seemed to attract lots of drama it would be the Yankees. Why? I guess it’s the personalities, and the money that feeds them. Is there any humility there? Not sure. Feeding the big dogs as they round the bases…

And so we’ve reached the end of The HA!! – Baseball being the last sport that I played competitively.

I recall actually feeling superhuman and connecting the bat with the baseball. Once. It was awesome to really tag it, the sound of the wooden bat making contact with the ball. Wow! I was fortunate to score a few times, getting on base and then having teammates help me advance to second, third and back to home plate. High fives in the dugout. What were the odds? Well, for me, not all that great since I sucked at this one too! I couldn’t bat, being totally afraid of the ball. My first thought was always that I was going to get hit. In fact, I did get beaned by the ball a couple of times. I guess everyone did that played little league. That wasn’t a big deal, in little league. It was when I got to the next level that I faced a huge pitcher with a reputation for throwing wild, and really hard. It was all true, he will tell you himself to this day. I think this must have worked to his advantage as I’m guessing that I wasn’t the only one who feared the pitcher as a young athlete.

I could probably count the number of times that I made it all the way around the bases on two hands. Yet, I continued to play… and the coaches continued to draft me every year that I tried out. Why? I’m not sure… lol… I guess I was a decent fielder as I played second base and shortstop. Plus, the real issue with batting didn’t well up until I was in Pony League. It was always there, but got really bad after being schnockered by “throwing smoke wild pitcher giant.” Yea, that guy!

Dugout chatter. Yep, heckling was allowed. I don’t know if this is still the norm. It was bunk most of the time. Idle chatter… until the pressure cooker was steamed up to full, then the trash talk seemed to make a difference. I guess there were some rules to this, no talking about someone’s momma, there wasn’t any cussing or swearing, it was mostly heyyyyyyy batteeeeerrrrrrr SWING !!!!!

OK, so how to wrap this one up?

Maybe think of baseball this way: Every time we step up into the batters box we have a new opportunity. At that point, it’s just me and my bat. IF I choose to swing at the right pitch, I may get on base. Then, I’m often relying on my teammates to help me move forward, or the third base coach to wave me home.

In baseball every kid was the same. We all wanted to get on base, and score a run. To say we were eager would be an understatement. Our trip to the batters box was all about offense and our opportunity to shine. Well, we can think of our life here on earth the same way. You can be sure that your momma is watching, just like when you stepped up to bat. Lots of other people are watching too, and rooting you on.

The disrespectful devil in the dugout, always wanting us to fail. His voice is bunk. Idle chatter…

Remember the Beatles song, “Can’t Buy Me Love” – they were referring to money. I wonder how Derek Jeter feels about that one? Dunno, it does sound kind of fishy to think it would when we consider what love really is, right? btw, Jeter is a personal fav of mine. Like Jesus. He spoke of love, money and heaven, right?

Will we reach home plate? I think it depends on how we play the game. God could probably lay out some statistics.

I wonder, what are the odds?

Surely He has a won – lost column, don’t you think?

Speaking of brushing shoulders with legends…

Now there’s a humbling thought…

Hope you’ve enjoyed The HA!!

If I Had Known Then What I Think I Know Now (Why I Wrote A Relationships Book)

The journey IS the goal – CV

I’m really excited about my forthcoming book, “All Sorts And Conditions Of People: The 7 Essentials Of Extraordinary Relationships”. It’s scheduled for release next week, on May 15th (not to worry there will be a reminder ). Why did I write a relationships book? And what makes me qualified to even write such a title?

Well, I’m not a relationships expert like Dr. Phil or Oprah, that’s for sure. However, I will say this: I’ve been in a relationship or two, some good and some not so good. And it took me a long time to figure out the secret sauce to successful relationships. I think most would agree that in life we are in contact with all sorts of people every day. By all sorts I mean those who are different from us, possibly coming from different socio-economic backgrounds or those with varying religious beliefs. Heck, for that matter, just look within a family and you’ll find “all sorts” too! Some of these places we journey through are where we have to learn to get along, like at church or at work. Remember this tidbit from the Bible…

Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.

He also said that this is pretty important, like #2 only to loving the Lord.

When I started writing on the internet some of the wise men in the world of blogging told me to write. “Just write”, they said, and don’t worry too much about anything else. That was good advice as I needed to learn how to write, and I’m still learning here. I did find out that by just pouring my heart out that:

like most people who have reached middle age, I’ve been through some crazy stuff, and
some of this stuff is worth trying to share as it may help someone else.

So, here I am…

Today, I find myself in the best relationship of my life. Ever. I made a list of the positive traits that I really admire about Julia. Your list would likely be different from mine so I’ll spare you that, but I will share with you this: Surrounding yourself with the right people is probably the most important aspect to finding satisfaction in your life here on earth, next to having a personal relationship with Jesus. I’m certain that my current relationship is a God thing. I’m also certain that He gave me a gift (for writing) and that He wants me to share, using it to bring honor and glory to Him. And so, the secret sauce to these relationships is a bit of handiwork that He’s inspired in me, and taught me through these bits and pieces that I’ll be sharing more about on May 15th. I hope you’ll find in this book good info that you can use in every relationship in your life.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

“and that’s all I’ve got to say about that” – Gump

Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Carol’s Gems: May – The Emerald

Today’s post, “Carol’s Gems: May – The Emerald”, is a monthly series on birthstones from one of my favorite blogger friends, Carol Peterson. Carol is a writer with a heart for encouragement, sharing parables of faith at her blog From Carol’s Quill and making learning exciting in Fun with Finance and other teacher resource books.

Every month has a birthstone. The birthstone for the month of May is the emerald. And it reminds me of Jesus.

The gorgeous green emerald symbolizes rebirth, reminding us of Jesus’ resurrection as well as our rebirth into God’s family when we come to Christ.

Several healing properties have been mythically associated with the emerald. The one that makes me smile is that gazing upon an emerald soothes the eyes. Well, of course it does. It’s just that beautiful. As is our Lord when we gaze upon Him.

Ancient Greeks and Romans, associated emeralds with Aphrodite/Venus—their goddess of love. Our Heavenly Father—the one true God of love—proved His love by the physical act of becoming human and dying for our sake. In Christian symbolism then, the emerald stands for rebirth in Christ, faith and hope and love.

So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Sort of makes you want to go find an emerald and gaze upon its beauty, doesn’t it?

Happy birthday to everyone born in the month of May.

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, thank you for the extravagant beauty you have spread throughout this world. Thank you for even hiding bits of your glory underneath the surface of the world for us to find and enjoy. Thank you that everything in the universe provides us with an opportunity to thank you and exclaim your glory. Amen.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? This is the final post in the Carol’s Gems series. Have you followed the monthly birthstone blogs? Which birthstone most reminds you of Jesus?

Who’s Running The Restaurant?

Photo courtesy of Muy Yum at flickr.com

When I was growing up and while I was in college I worked in a few restaurants. It was funny trying to figure out who really ran a restaurant. It was a lesson in perspective. It seemed to depended on what time of day it was…

Early in the day, like in the morning, the owner ran the restaurant. He signed the paychecks, and brought it all together.
Later on, the restaurant manager ran the restaurant. He answered the phone, booked the reservations and big parties, and dealt with any customer complaints or issues.
At night, the chef ran the restaurant. Ultimately, the chef controls the flow in the restaurant at night. He’s the one making the food and striving for perfection with each dish prepared. He also figures out how to deliver 4 different meals to the same table at the same time.

My point in this post is this: In any restaurant, there are at least 3 key players… the owner, manager and the chef. No one person can fulfill all three of these posts at any one time, unless the restaurant is very small.

So who is running the restaurant? If you thought it may be someone else, you would be correct. Ultimately, the customer drives business, right? They’re the ones who flock in to order the Dover Sole when it’s offered as a special, request a certain waiter and table for a special occasion year after year, and tell 2 friends… who tell 2 friends… and so on… and so on… whoa, wait! That was a shampoo commercial, right? Anyway, I think you get the picture…

The restaurant business is demand driven and service oriented. It’s all about the right location, menu and vibe. A recent survey of the success rate of startup restaurants suggests that one in four is going to fail. That’s high enough to make bankers hesitant to lend to these operations. Their experience tells them that, as a whole, restaurants are risky business. They’re saying that 25% of the loans they make go south.

The 3 key people involved with running the restaurant look to each other for support as a team to make it happen. If they nailed down the location, menu and vibe they’ve got a chance. A solid business plan and financial backing gives them an ever greater opportunity. Then, imagine the customers came too! Yep yep yep, that’s success! But even with all of that there aren’t any guarantees. The bankers have found, like we all know in life, that sometimes our greatest disappointments come from expectations that aren’t met. In our world that continually changes we can count on one thing with absolute certainty:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

Yesterday I paused to focus on all of the people and blessings that I have today to be thankful for. I’m so thankful for my family; a strong, healthy relationship with a beautiful, loving woman; the gift of writing; and many more. I’m most thankful for what Jesus did for me so I can have a relationship with Him. I’m thankful for the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life, and for His guidance. God’s word is as relevant today as it was so long ago when it was written.

Who’s running the restaurant? Ultimately, it all comes back to Him. Praise God for another glorious day! And so many excellent restaurants to choose from

Late-Night TV And The Fall Of Man

Late night TV has long been a place to unwind and laugh a little at the events of the day. One of my favorite all-time late nighters was Johnny Carson. He reigned for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. A very popular skit that Carson repeated was called “Carnac the Magnificent”. Johnny played a mystic from the east who had a knack for coming up with unseen answers to unknown questions. You can check it out by watching this short and very funny video…

It still cracks me up to watch some of the old Johnny footage on YouTube. Some days I can’t help but want to lighten up a day and stressful situation. Finding humor is a relief to me. I mostly laugh at myself and my own shortcomings. I think Carson was sort of the same way, and that was his draw to so many people of the time.

I got to thinking about this recently… did God plan the fall of man? It seems sort of confusing to think that He would. Why would He set us up for failure? It would seem that if He knew everything that He could have averted a lot of trouble for us by having some other plan than the fall

Here’s the kicker to the whole God thing: We don’t know all that much about what the future holds. Sure, there’s the book of Revelation. It seems sort of out there. I’m sure that many people thought that the prophets were sort of out there too, when they shared their thoughts and visions.

God is good and knows exactly what He’s doing…

Here’s a bit about the prophet Jeremiah and his call from God…

The Lord said to Jeremiah, “Before I formed you int he womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

God knew what we would do before we were born. He also calls us as individuals to help Him complete His work…

The Lord said to him, “You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.” Jeremiah 1:7-8

How? Read His Word.

The Lord, speaking to another prophet, Isaiah… “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters…” Isaiah 55:1

He further declares, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (v. 9)… “so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (v. 11)

Still confused if He knows what He’s doing?

Our God is a great and holy one. Through Him we can accomplish good and amazing miracles.

At the end of the day it helps to keep things in perspective and follow God’s lead. I’m pretty sure that His hand is in what’s happening here every day, like the Holy Spirit surely lives in those who believe.

Maybe think of late night TV as resilience to buffer our day.

Pray, then hit the hay and rest up for another glorious day

Making Wise Decisions – A Guest Post By Terrie Thorpe

This is a guest post by Terrie Thorpe: author, blogger and writer of Christian Living articles. Her books  “Am I Really Saved? Answering Questions of Christians” and “Footsteps of Jesus – Becoming a Disciple” are geared toward new Christians and those who have lost their way. Enjoys hiking, gardening, reading and sharing Jesus with the world! Please visit her blog, Light for the Journey often!

We make literally thousands of decisions a day never fully comprehending how those choices affect future events. Sometimes we feel we are just going through the motions of everyday life; going to school or work.  In one moment, our paths cross with another person and we are changed.  We like to believe that we are the masters of our own destiny, when in fact we are on a course overseen by a loving God.

Do you seek to learn which way the Lord is leading you?

The Lord designed us for a special mission yet, there are times when we have made a wrong decision.  The path we are on is way out of sequence with our purpose. At the right time something fantastic will occur and change our direction. These special encounters are known as divine appointments or divine interventions. Those seemly random events that appear to mean nothing but in hindsight, they expose a purpose and relevance to a current situation.

The Bibles describes many of these course corrections, which effected people and the course of nations. Some changes were for the good and other events, were not so good. One good story is found in book of Ruth.

A family from Bethlehem left their home because of a famine and moved to Moab. During their stay, the husband died and the two sons married Moabite women, which was forbidden by their Law. When the sons died, it left three widows. The Lord has a special heart for taking care of widows as the story unfolds.

Naomi, the mother was deeply distressed, she had lost everything, there was no way that she could provide for her widowed daughters or herself. She learned that the famine had passed in Bethlehem, so she decided to go home. On the way, Naomi realized the problems she would face with her Moabite daughters. So she decided to send them back to their families, but Ruth refused to leave Naomi.

“Ruth replied, ‘Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. I will die where you die and will be buried there. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” (Ruth 1:16-17 NLT).

Ruth had made a noble choice to honor Naomi by fully submitting her life to serve Naomi and the God of Israel. The Lord was pleased with Ruth’s desire to stay with Naomi, which kept her on the right path. Naomi was once well off, but returned penniless and sent Ruth to find food for them. She carefully instructed Ruth on the customs of the land.

What were the odds Ruth would begin working in a field owned by relative? Could this be considered chance that she caught the eye and the heart of the one who would be her kinsman redeemer? No, the Lord honors those who honor him. Because Ruth chose to honor and love Naomi, who could offer her nothing, she was given a special place in lineage of Jesus.

Ruth married Boaz, the owner of the field and an eligible relative. Their son was Obed. Obed became the father of Jesse who in turn was the father of David. Even though she was considered an outsider to the Jewish faith, God can graft in anyone he chooses.

How about you, do you think there is a master plan for your life? Do you think that things just happen?  Do you step out in faith, like Ruth not sure of the end result?

The only way we will find purpose and meaning is to trust the Lord to guide us to our destiny.

“For I know the plans I have for you” says the Lord, “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT).

 

How To Build Consensus In Everyday Life

Consensus building fosters better relationships, interpersonal connection and unity.

Consensus building is a “buzz word” in our work lives. Some of our leaders have a gift for doing this, gathering groups of people with conflicting opinions on complex issues and helping them reach agreement on a fair compromise to future direction. Working in the environmental field we got to see this process in action in many situations. I was personally involved in a technical advisory group in Jacksonville, appointed to a board by a local trade organization to help local regulators and stakeholders reach consensus on changing wastewater regulations.

At the end of the day, building consensus in our lives leads to self-respect and garnering the respect of others. First, let’s look at the process of how consensus is built in the professional world. Then we can look at an idea of how to apply it to our daily lives, and discuss the implications of using this process to build respect in one-on-one relationships, and within groups.

Typically, an issue is identified and stakeholders are gathered. A discussion ensues, and concerns are identified. A collaborative proposal is drawn up on each issue, and a determination of consensus is sought. If true unanimity is not reached, the process either continues, a pseudo form of consensus is reached, or the group may disband, typically in frustration. Obviously the stakeholders have to want to participate – if they don’t come to the table, there’s not much hope for a process like this to work. I’ve left out considerable detail on this process, but that’s the jist of it.

Fortunately, we can take this simplified version of consensus building and easily apply it to our personal relationships. The consensus process is directly applicable to our personal lives as it shares a desirable and important outcome: Consensus building, as opposed to an adversarial process, is a collaborative and cooperative process that fosters better relationships, interpersonal connection and unity.

Recall I’ve stressed the importance of surrounding ourselves with like-minded people. That may look quite differently for each of us. Remember, that thing about the 4 circles? When we think of the church today, we consider it to be one body. That doesn’t mean that everybody has to agree on every single issue. That would be impossible. My point of view will not always be shared by everyone here today on Planet Earth. Similarly, one congregation may not always agree with the rest. However, we should be able to get along and show each other respect, right? Whether you’re a church person or not, most of what I’m sharing with you here can be applied in your daily life. The people we find in the inner circles are critical to making sound decisions in our daily walk.

We generally share the opinions and habits of our closest friends. Consider your 5 closest friends and you’ll find out a lot about yourself and how you’re living your life. Settling into a groove in these relationships, these close associates tend to influence us, taking us down or building us up. We also may at times influence them, in the same manner.

Carefully consider what’s at stake…

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. Proverbs 27:12

Building consensus in our daily life is much more than just surrounding ourselves with people who will tell us what we want to hear. I once had a friend who would seek advice of her friend who would most likely tell her the desired answer. Similarly, she would hang out with different people depending on how she chose to behave on that particular evening. If you’ve thought through these close associates they will help keep you accountable to your morals and values. This should be fairly consistent.

Church people, as a group, are like families. They’re typically fairly dysfunctional. What we learn in a healthy organization, be it a work environment, church or even in our families, is that:

we all have to learn to deal with and relate to people who are different than us,
showing respect to others will help you in all of your relationships, and
there are many thoughts that we could debate that, in the big picture of eternity, aren’t really all that relevant.

Remember our list from 1 Peter…

Live in harmony, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble, be a blessing, love life, do good, seek peace and pursue it, and do it all with gentleness and respect.

Consensus is reached in our everyday life when we are wooed to agreement, either within ourselves, with another person or within a group, on a course of action to take at a crossroad.

Reaching consensus within ourselves could be overcoming indecisiveness, that feeling of being torn between two or more possibilities. This may be achieved with the assistance of close friend or spouse. Or, we often have to come to agreement with a significant other, about parenting or financial issues. Finally, we may find ourselves being transformed by a group of people who come together to discuss a Bible verse. Here, I’ll throw out a specific example:

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:1-5

These verse suggest we should look out for each other. That’s a good thing. Recognize there is a fine line between admonishment, or helping a brother out, and self-servitude. Maybe think of that line as the boundary of respect. In relationships, we often should try to:

carefully consider our motives so that we’re not acting out of jealousy, hatred or selfish ambition.
choose our words carefully to make sure that we are always building up, showing positive interest in and encouragement to those people only when we are in a place to help out.

The Lord will honor those who choose to honor Him. Your words and actions send out an important message to the people around you. Be sure to choose them wisely, just like you would the people in your close relationships, and you will be well on the way to living a life centered on respect. Remember the concept of building consensus. Respect and consensus will bring positive changes in your personal relationships.

How important do you think consensus is within your close, personal relationships?

Do you often consult close personal friends or your spouse when faced with a challenging dilemma?