Chris Vonada's Blog, page 12

When Words Sting by Jon Stolpe

Please join me in welcoming Jon Stolpe today. I don’t read a whole lot of blogs now, but I do subscribe to Jons and look forward to reading it every morning. Jon is a very gifted writer who is passionate about small groups, missions, family, marriage, parenting, and Philadelphia sports.  Jon is also a writer and blogs daily at Jon Stolpe Stretched. He lives in Pennsylvania with his wonderful wife, Leanne, and their two kids.  Connect with him on Twitter, Facebook or his blog.

When Words Sting

“If I get a 1,000 compliments and one insult, guess which one I listen to? The insult, of course. I have an unbelievable ability to ignore a swarm of positive words and camp out on the one negative.” Jon Acuff

It’s probably happened to all of us at one time or another – someone says something to us that absolutely stings.

Maybe they call you names. Maybe they are just rude. Maybe they insult you.

Words can hurt!

Words can sting!

Words can leave a gash on our hearts!

So how can we respond when this happens? How can we move past the pain of words?

Here are a five suggestions to get you thinking:

1. Stop the cycle. It’s easy to respond back with another insult or another name. Resist the urge for verbal revenge. It only keeps things going. It only makes things worse. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.

2. Respond in love. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) When we respond with a gentle answer, we are actually sucking the sting out of the words, and we’re showing others a better way to respond. Our responsibility as Christ followers is to point people to Christ. People will know we are Christians by our love and NOT by our anger.

3. Surround yourself with people who will build you up. Let’s face it. The world can be a cruel place. People are rushing around trying to get ahead of the next person even if it means walking over someone. Find people who have your back. Meet with them regularly. Encourage one another. Spur each other on.

4. Learn. I’m not perfect. In fact, I have plenty of flaws – and so do you. When someone insults you, look inside. Are they pointing out one of your flaws? Is there any truth to what they are saying about you? If there is some truth to what they said about you, take the opportunity to change. Don’t waste the opportunity to become a better person.

5. Move on. Once you’ve taken the steps above, you need to move on. Dwelling on stinging words will only drag you down and make you a bitter person. This may mean the end of a relationship, or it may require new boundaries related to a relationship that has brought you pain. You have to keep your chin up, your feet moving, and your face smiling.

How do you deal with words that sting? What step do you need to take today to get past wounds that have been caused by words?

Finding The Sweet Spot In Being Average

Troops of the Eight Nations Alliance, circa 1900. Is the dude in the middle most average?

Six months ago I changed churches and decided to strive to be another face in the crowd. I just wanted to be average. Why? Well, after standing at the front door and dashing across the stage for 4 years I was yearning for a place where I could just be an average Joe. If you aim to blend in at church, a big one may work, or a small boutique with people who are all very similar. Or, possibly one that is overflowing with truth and grace. I love the new digs. I believe that God lead me to the right place, and at exactly the right time. I found new areas at the church where I can serve God that are more focused on using the gifts that He gave me. In many ways, I found the sweet spot in being average.

In school, we strove to do our best. Nobody wanted to be a mediocre student, earning all “C’s”. We all wanted to be great! Being great requires action, not just intention. Action… focus… and capacity. There were some subjects, like math, that I did well in, and others that were terribly difficult for me. Just dreadful.

Speaking of math, the Isaac Newton’s of the world have a definition for average too – the result of adding several quantities together and then dividing this total by the number of quantities. We also think of this number as the mean. Yep, the mean… but this is a good sort of mean. You see, in math, in order to reach the sweet spot of average, we have to put the individual numbers into a pile, or a group. Being in a group feels good, it’s where we find fellowship. And unity. And to achieving all that God created us for. It’s a big part of being great.

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

Can I be great and be average at the same time? For sure! The sweet spot is this: I can and should strive to achieve… go for the “A” every time. However, I am doing it for His glory, not mine.

Ok, so I’m not dime a dozen and neither are you. We’re all unique and rare as God made each of us in a very special way; the lady who is average height, the runner who finishes in the middle of the pack, the manager who is in the mid-range of the pay scale, and the dude who’s appearance is, well, just average. We are all average in some way, but perfectly flawless and unique in God’s making. If I identify my gifts and talents, I can excel and contribute most in those areas. Then, I can connect with other people who are also being great but in different ways, and our combined effort adds up to being awesome. Holy guacamole!!

The sweet spot in being average is knowing that it’s not all about me. I’m comfortable with that. Jesus is on the stage, the center of attention. Yep, the wayward carpenter. There’s a lot that goes on behind the curtain that is critical to every successful performance. Does that mean that I’m shooting for “C’s”? Nope.

“Stop looking for the path of least resistance and start running down the path of greatest glory to God and good to others, because that’s what Jesus, the Real Man, did.” Mark Driscoll

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t make the grade. It’s all good. My skills and gifts are completely different from yours, and the next guys. No biggie. We’re all in this together, right? Shoot to be great at everything you do! For His glory. That’s the sweet spot in being average.

In what area would you say that you are “most average”?

God, Politics, America and Morality: Why I Remain So Encouraged

Looking Ahead…

Last week I was interviewed by fellow blogger TC Avey. She asked some tough questions about God, politics, America and morality. Here’s how I fielded them:

Q: How do you think God views America and us today?

I think God knows all and is omnipotent. He has a master plan for us and for the future. I think it is very difficult for us to comprehend from His perspective, to understand much of what is happening or what will happen in the future. The Book of Revelation is loaded with symbolism and inference. There is so much in the Bible historically and that which is outlined in our future in Revelation that we can see in our world today. I’m able to find peace in our world today knowing that His plan is perfect, and that I have the opportunity to spend eternity with Jesus. I’m very much the one in control of that, and that is what matters most.

Q: What do you think God would have to say regarding America’s churches and morals?

I believe we live in a challenging time historically; it’s difficult to view sometimes through the lens of life. However, I don’t think of 2013 as a part of a new “Dark Ages” – when there was intellectual, cultural or economic “darkness” in Europe after the decline of the Roman Empire, or a period of spiritual darkness, although there are statistics that show more and more people are turning from Christianity.

Being a total optimist, I see so many good opportunities in our world today, and for our future. When a guy like Paul can encourage others from the walls of prison I’m thinking that it’s good to look at the up side of things.

Sometimes I have to wonder what some folks are thinking as I’ve seen some pretty crazy stuff at church and/or involving “church people.” Then I read the Bible and see so many parallels to our churches today, both good and bad. So I’ve been thinking, is there really anything wrong with the world today? Think about it this way: All of humanity is “burdened” by one complicated gift from God – free will. Free will goes side by side with every war and dispute of political or religious nature. Consider all of humanity in a tug-of-war between good and evil. If you’re a believer you already know the outcome. That, to me, is extremely good news! The really excellent thing about free will is that we are able to control some of our influence and have an impact. And, in many respects, through free will we are given the choice for our future, eternally speaking. I like that.

Q: America seems to be at a cross roads both spiritually and politically, how should Christians be responding to those who think we are too active in politics?

I decided a while ago to stay away from writing about politics, although I certainly have opinion like I believe everyone should. I find it fascinating to research concepts like anarchy and equality, and how these concepts are defined by various points of view. Indeed, I chose to answer this question TC intentionally with one thought, there is an excellent book that I recommend to EVERYBODY, “How Do You Kill 11 Million People” by Andy Andrews. Pretty chilling how a leader got a bunch of people unknowingly on railroad trains to the gas chambers. Also very thought provoking about how we’re choosing our political leaders without really knowing them. Looks can be very deceiving at times. Great book, read it.

So many issues that we face today come down to politics and/or religion. Many people feel very strongly about both of these topics. Consider abortion, religious freedom, and gun control, also gay and equal rights, just to name a few. Now it’s easier than ever to express your opinion on a topic of interest. If you are in with social networking you’re exposed to it, and it’s very easy to let the evil one into your mind where dissention, dissatisfaction and pessimism soon begin to erode our dialogue. Some good things to think about, for sure.

Q: Has God been speaking to you about our nation? If so, what has He been showing you?

The three most optimistic demographics of our population are the Hispanics, African-Americans and the Millennial, according to a recent survey by The Barn Group. The Hispanics are also the fastest growing demographic in America. What does that say about our future? Well, to me, it paints a picture of change. Granted, some folks are not up for this type of change, however it may be a very healthy one for our people. True, this comes at a time when more and more people are turning from Christianity, but I think if we, as Christians, look at the underlying reasons and stop lying to ourselves and our congregations we will find the root causes of the exodus from our religion. We need look no farther than the folks of Jesus’ time who persecuted Him to realize that the church today has plenty of room for improvement – unfortunately we resemble those people when we only want to accept part of what He was all about, or only on certain days of the week. Do we really want to support concepts like religious freedom when it means we may be in a minority? Likewise, do you feel that many Christians are “loving your neighbors as yourself” and at the same time our churches and their groups often don’t resemble a true slice of community? Good questions that we each individually may want to consider.

I believe the core issue with many in our faith is that we have tremendously complicated what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus. I think Christianity is going through a shake down, if you will, where people are finally standing up and saying, you know, what I see over there isn’t really what Jesus is about. I don’t want to be a part of that (whatever that may be), but I do want to know and resemble Jesus.

In many ways, we’re seeing a return to traditions that once were downplayed. The true message of Jesus is displayed on the cross and in the Gospel. I’m so excited when I see at least a portion of our society and some of our churches embracing this. That is what it is really all about. Unfortunately not everyone will get it, and there will always be those who know what it’s all about and chose another path. I think our job is simply to love them anyway.

Many thanks to TC for the opportunity to share my thoughts on these important topics!

TC Avey is a Christian devoted to God, family, friends & nation. An aspiring author and avid reader, she also has a heart for animals. Her blog is Wisdom of a Fool. You can also follow her on Twitter.

The 3 Elements Of A Good Fire

Fall means it’s time to get fired up about revival around church. The masses return from summer break filled with a renewed interest in good, structured activities for the family. So what does a fire have to do with revival, or renewal? We generally think of a fire as a bad thing, unless we’re in the wilderness using it for warmth, or to cook, right? Fires also may have a productive role in forest ecology. Indeed, fires are vital to the continued existence of many plants and animals found in the woods.

Wikipedia says, “Many ecosystems, particularly prairie, savanna, chaparral and conifer forests, have evolved with fire as a necessary contributor to habitat vitality and renewal. Many plant species in naturally fire-affected environments require fire to germinate, establish, or to reproduce. Fire suppression not only eliminates these species, but also the animals that depend upon them. Finally, fire suppression can lead to the build-up of flammable debris and the creation of less frequent but much larger and more destructive wildfires.”

What about the brazen, out-of-control wildfires?

Unfortunately they happen. Much like good and evil in the world today there are wicked bad fires that come on like the temper. Yep, fire can destroy lives and wipe out happy homes. Some fires are bad, but the idea that all fires are bad news is utter fallacy.

The 3 elements of a good fire?

Fuel. Kindling to big wood. Think wisdom here. Oh bananas. Jesus brought the fuel for the fire. It’s pure and simple – truth, love and grace. Of course it has to be seasoned… yep, and fall is just the season to do it! Lots of changes occur in the fall – the weather gets cooler and the days get shorter. The fall is a season of color too! All of the colors of a good fire show up in the autumn foliage. Just think about it… this fire is sounding better already, right?

Oxygen. O2 breathes life into a fire like a sense of community brings people together. This makes me think of the Holy O, or Holy Spirit:

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3:8

Spark – an idea. God has this one. The idea came up in Genesis. God brought human life into existence, making him from dust and then breathing life into his nostrils. The Lord spoke combustion, and the rest is history.

The good fire is about renewal, a positive change. When change occurs, wise people find new avenues to constructive ventures. Stubbornness and lack of hope holds others back from the best that God has to offer. Is the perceptible chill sneaking up the spine?

“A good, warm and inviting fire, fueled with the deep, enduring love of Jesus, fanned by the breath of the Holy Spirit, and ignited by the crisp spark of God’s word on the tip of our tongue…” from my book “All Sorts And Conditions Of People: The 7 Essentials Of Extraordinary Relationships.”

What say ye? On board with the good fire, the fall, and revival?

Do New Christians Experience Church Shock?

Give him time, he’ll get with the flow!

Church Shock. Yep, kind of like culture shock. You know, culture shock: that feeling of disorientation from being emplaced in a foreign country for a period of time. Interestingly, culture shock is a fairly common phenomenon that occurs to people without ever leaving their home country. Many people experience a similar event when they transition from home to work every day. Their high-pressure job puts significant strain on their personal relationships outside of work. It can happen when we move between social environments too.

There is a related phenomena, I’m calling it “Church Shock”: that foreign feeling of trying to acclimate to church when we are just getting to know Jesus.

I remember feeling a little like a wretched, black-hearted sinner when I raised my hand as a newbie at the place with the steeple one day when the pastor asked if anyone amongst the crowd was interested in accepting Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Thankfully all heads were bowed and eyes were closed, otherwise everyone would know that I was the odd guy out. I stepped out of my pew seat and was escorted to a small room in the back of the church by an older fellow who I later learned was an elder (yep… older… elder… now that sort of seemed logical!). There I sat, one on one, with a guy who seemed to speak a different language. He had a Bible in hand, another sign that I was out-of-place since I didn’t own one yet. This stranger who already knew Jesus wanted to pray together. I’m glad that he knew what to do as I wouldn’t have had any idea what to say to God and would have felt pretty silly if he asked me to lead the prayer. We held hands, another weird part of being alone with another guy in a small room. Well, you know, I’ve heard some stories of how this might turn out… but much to my surprise everything went pretty well on that day. Glad I’m not a claustrophobic. Or homophobic, for that matter.

I didn’t feel the earth shake or hear a curtain tear or anything like that, but I was certain that God was up to something from there on out. I fell into a groove with going to church on Sundays and learning about the Lord. I got to know some of the people there. Well, sort of, we would say hi and greet each other with a smile on Sundays. That was nice as I felt welcome. Slowly, I felt inspired by some of the sermons. Others left me feeling like a sinner, though, as the pastor would talk about some of the no no’s that are outlined in the Bible. That left me feeling shameful. Fortunately, the pastor or music director would always mention that I didn’t need to feel bad about my past sins, that Jesus came to earth, walked as a human, and died a horrific death for me. Wow, that was hard to grasp for a long time, but eventually that too sunk in and I learned what His grace was all about. Talk about humility…

Next up was Baptism. Yikes, I had seen others publicly profess their faith in Jesus and, at the time, it was embarrassing to me. Getting up in a special loft at the worship service in front of everybody made me feel a little self-conscious. Those who didn’t already realize that I was just a beginner at this church thing are going to know it for sure now! After the big event I found a new friend there at church – acceptance. Folks were excited for me. I felt like Norm on the TV show Cheers, remember… “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.” Life was still very much a tug of war between good and evil but I now had a new friend on my side, the Holy Spirit.

I guess about a year passed by before I recognized another “Church Shock” sort of experience. Small group. This was a bit different that the worship service where we all faced forward, sang songs and listened to the pastor deliver a message. In small group we had to talk to each other. I didn’t really mind that part, but on the very first Sunday that I went to small group they asked me to lead the prayer. Gadzooks, that sent me in the opposite direction with anxiety because now everyone in the group was expecting me to come up with something good and I don’t think I did a particularly good job of it. I know now that God loves our prayers and being versed in this isn’t really all that important like we sometimes make it out to be. However, I did stick out from the other people who were the same age as me in the group and had been going to church for 30 years. They kind of let me know it too. I didn’t let that discourage me though, it was just another step along the journey, and I learned that church people are, well, just people too.

Well, more than a decade has passed since then and I’m still having new experiences all the time at church. Some bad, mostly good and less shocking. Church feels comfortable now as I’ve made the adjustment. Verses and books in the Bible make sense. I’m still learning about Jesus and in a growing relationship with Him. I see other people doing the same thing and at different places in the journey. We learn from each other. I’m asked to lead prayers… not so much to find out if I know how to do it as I’m guessing the other people in my group believe that I can contribute something meaningful. That’s a good feeling. Real nice.

Do you have a “Church Shock” experience to share?

Time To Reconsider Our Relationship With Time?

I was reading an article recently about the value of time as it relates to stress and punctuality in our Western society. It seems the American tendency to be up tight about time is extreme in comparison to other cultures. Sometimes the day seems like people run around in what I call “ambulance mode” – tending to the urgent instead of the most important. Well, our standard is becoming a minority viewpoint when it comes to some values or traditions that we once embraced. Our nation continues to evolve into a true multicultural mix of equality and freedom for all. So maybe it’s time to reconsider our relationship with time?

“Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.” Henry David Thoreau

Well that’s a pretty free-spirited way to think about time! To Thoreau, time is like the water in the stream, continually passing by while we sit with our bait on a hook at the end of a line tied to a rod. I think his quote shares a vision of relaxation, spending time in an activity that so many enjoy and can relate to.

Time. We tend to…

list it…

prioritize it…

implement it…

We glance at a clock and ponder over a calendar.

Obligatory vs. discretionary time? Yes, we categorize it too. That’s a loaded one. Time can get messy if we become stressed when an activity takes more time that we anticipated and then cuts into something else we had hoped or promised to do. We have to make a decision – do I cut out on what I was doing before finishing to move on to the next, or do I complete what I was doing as that would be most efficient, then pick up the pieces of what was on the calendar. Either way, it is stressful to jump from one activity to another when we haven’t completed the task at hand, while the same stressed feeling is found when we endure to completion and are then late for the next.

I can tell you one of the challenges of working in foreign lands has been how the natives there value time in comparison to US. Many people who have traveled through the Caribbean for work will tell you the same thing – it’s difficult to accomplish tasks on schedule because the people there are more relaxed about time. It seems their carefree lifestyle transcends the need to get things done in a reasonable timeframe from our point of view.

I guess my point is this: Time is like an attitude – The more you let time control you the more frustrating your world may be (Click To Tweet). There is something that we can learn about ourselves by how we perceive and “value” time. It is one of our most valuable resources, but we are in control of how we use and perceive it, in so many ways.

How do you feel about time? Do you feel like it is passing you by like water in the stream? Is that good, or bad?

The Present by Carol Peterson

Today’s post, “The Present”, is from one of my favorite blogger friends, Carol Peterson. Carol is a writer with a heart for encouragement, sharing parables of faith at her blog for kids, readers and writers as well.

 

Image from whychristmas.com

The first thing I do when I receive a gift is to hold it. I stroke the paper, twiddle with the ribbon, even adjust the card slipped under the bow, making sure it sits perfectly on the package—just to enjoy the moment, the love behind the gift and the wonderful possibilities it contains.

I slide out the envelope, noticing the writing on the front and whether the person had added a whimsical heart or flower to express their affection. Or just to make me smile.

I turn the envelope over. Is there a sticker or a smiley face on the flap? Or perhaps a lipstick mark, if it’s from Mom?

I slide my finger inside the flap and gently tug, careful not to destroy the envelope in my excitement. Out slips the card. I smile, noticing how the personality of the giver is reflected in her selection of the card; how the words evoke her feelings and relate to what she knows about me. Her personal words inside add to the delight, bringing with the printed words a part of her heart for me.

I set the card aside and tug at the ribbon. I watch the loop of the bow slither smaller, until it disappears and transforms into a single ribbon. I release the ribbon and watch as it curls into a tendril, bouncing happily up and down; up and down, as if it, too, delights in anticipation of the joy to follow.

As my hands smooth across the wrapping, I notice the colors and texture of the paper—silky or rough; cool or crinkly. My fingers find the edges where the tape—nearly invisible—has clasped them together, delicately attempting to delay my delight. I pull and the paper falls away.

The box sometimes has words on it, used for another purpose perhaps. Sometimes it is misshapen or tattered. Sometimes it is new and clean. But it is always beautiful, because it contains the gift— the precious thing my loved one has picked out and presented to me.

I lift the lid, flick away the frothy tissue and…

…oh! Thank you! It’s wonderful!

This is how I want to live my life for Jesus. This is how I want to experience every moment of every day. This is how I want to anticipate the ultimate gift Jesus has for me—the precious gift of eternity.

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, thank you for the greatest gift we will ever receive—spending eternity with you. Thank you for this life here on earth also. Please show us how to fully appreciate these moments in a way that reflects your love for us and our love for you. Amen.

Life In The Meadows

Estes Park, Colorado

Think about it… we start off life in the meadows. Fields of green grass that are pristine, with Bighorn Sheep grazing in the park. These “parks” in the Rockies are meadows or mountain valleys.  My image is of Estes Park, Colorado, the headquarters for the Rocky Mountain National Park. This land was once referred to as “The Circle” by the Arapaho Indians. A special place with many named trails, this land was frequented by these Indians in summertime. They always found their way back…

The seasons come and go in Estes Park. While we may define the start of each season on a certain day each year, there is some variability. This summer has been a special one for me as I’ve spent a lot of time with Julia and my family. Not perfect, but very peaceful and meaningful to me, much like the feeling of being in a meadow.

I’ve taken a huge break from writing this summer. It has left me excited about the fall and getting back into the groove with a new game plan. Stepping back from writing I’ve realized that blogging is a strange phenomena. I will at times read another person’s work and think they surely have written this directly to me. Of course, that’s silly. At other times I can say that I’ve read some posts and can only hope that they may have been inspired by something that I’ve contributed to humanity. That’s a good feeling. Here are a few other good tidbits from my field of vision for this summer:

Love it when I hear that pastors are teaching in the book of Revelation.


Love it when I hear that churches are supporting local ministries as well as sending tons of missionaries abroad.


Love to hear how 2,000 years after Jesus lived we’re still learning and growing as disciples.

It’s exciting to see churches and their learning groups looking more and more like our communities. Maybe it all started a really long time ago, like “The Circle” that the Arapaho returned to every summer. Summertime is more relaxed than the rest of the year. We need that. A good time to step back and take a look from a different perspective.

What has your summer been like? Have you enjoyed this season of “life in the meadows”?

photo courtesy of The_Real_Birdcatcher @tripadvisor.com

Lost In The Summer Of Fiction On An Island Of Leadership And Vulnerability

Lost island cartoon map by Arvid Rudling

“We’re all in this together.” – John Locke from Season 1

We’ve been watching the series Lost the past couple of months. Julia and I have really enjoyed watching it together as neither of us saw the series when it was originally broadcast. We’re currently in Season 5. There are 6 seasons.

Lost in the summer of fiction on an island. This thing about the allure of an island. Why are they so attractive?

Some for their natural beauty. I have a Pinterest board for one that I’ve never even been to, American Samoa. I guess, for me, this is sort of a get away. Remote. Tropical. Carefree. Paradise? I’ve been to that one too, Paradise Island. Quite a few times, though I prefer the more remote islands to those of popular attraction. I think our infatuation with islands has to do with the desire to leave reality behind. Sometimes we call these escapes a vacation. The same trips to beautiful destinations may also serve as an breather for many, from the day to day grind and stress. Islands are like dreams, fiction novels or fantasies in many ways… we go, live it up, and then return to our regular lifestyle. At some point in the dream or visit to an exotic island get away we have to come home. Some of the folks on Lost appear to want to stay on the island instead of going back home. I get that, having been to some places I would rather not return to. But can we ever really escape from reality? Pretty deep, right?

I was also a huge fan of the TV show Survivor. Another “island” story, of sorts, with some interesting similarities:

The inhabitants are not native to the land and have to learn to adapt to survive.


Various leaders emerge, including Jack, Mr. Eko, Locke, Ben and Sayid (on Lost).


Tribes of people encounter each other and at times have to compete. This interaction leads to victories for humanity as well as hostilities.

- Tribal loyalty fades as people with varying personalities, objectives and vulnerabilities interact and new alliances are formed.

Sounds similar to the mainland too, maybe? Lost… reality TV at its finest?

Onward… to the summer of fiction? It just so happens that I’m taking a bit of a breather from writing this summer. I’m only posting new material to my blog a couple of times a month. I’m focusing on some other endeavors, a good change for me to do so after spending 3.5 years writing nearly every day. I’ve been reading a few fiction books and toying with the idea of writing a novel. Fiction has become a sort of island for me, much like watching the series Lost and being absorbed in the rich characters and their world. In the midst of a summer that seems to be passing by in a flurry, I have also found myself mesmerized with the topics of leadership and vulnerabilities. Unrelated… I guess maybe not really since it’s all tied together in some way by God.

“Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together.” Brene Brown

Hmmm, there it is again… “We’re all in this together” – how do you feel about that statement? It’s like this one, “everything is connected”.

It seems like at times our gut is to bury or hide our imperfections or vulnerabilities and seek refuge from realities. To me, that’s when I realize that leadership has to step up. Leadership, or just maybe obedience. Sometimes God provides no solution to our problems unless we obey Him. Ironically, our own stubbornness is the only thing holding us back from seeing His work in our lives.

The funny thing about Lost is that, as I’ve mentioned before, some of the characters on the island don’t want to return to their homes. They are happy living in this strange place. Maybe they have been running away for a long time and feel like they’ve left some of life’s troubles, their past mistakes, or even vulnerabilities behind. Some of the characters, Jack, Sun, Hurley, Sayid and Kate have made it home in Season 5, and they have eluded to a desire or need to return to the island. Pretty weird stuff? Well, maybe not. I get it, in a way, as all of the islands I’ve been to I would love to go back. Someday. Permanently? No. Love my home and would miss my sweetheart and family terribly. But just for a visit… like getting lost with a good action/adventure… just sayin’.

What adventure are you on this summer or season of life?

“Finding Peace In The Turmoil” by Joe Lalonde

Peace at times is elusive, and seems to be hiding

Normally peace is an easy thing for me to find. I’m able to walk away and put things behind me. Not so much lately.

There’s a choice I have to make and it’s driving me crazy. There’s been anger. Tears. Sadness.

The decision won’t be an easy one. Whichever way I choose to go. And this has taken away my peace.

The peace that was once so easy to find has now become elusive.

Here’s how I used to find peace:

Long runs

A relaxing walk along the beach

Taking time with my wife

Reading the Bible

With this current struggle I’m having to find new ways to find peace. The long runs and walks along the beach aren’t working. In fact, they’re actually making it worse.

So I’m struggling through this journey. Probably like you do at times. Not knowing what to do.

While the peace isn’t easy anymore, I’m able to find peace at times.

How?

I’m praying more: This is something I’m not good at. I’ll admit to that. It’s tough for me to sit down and pray to God. The distractions are easy and my mind wanders.

But I know this is a key to getting the peace that surpasses all understanding. When we talk to God, He’s able to speak back to us. He’s a comforter and friend. He knows our needs and He’s willing to meet them.

I’m talking with my wife: This current issue involves a situation that will affect both of us. And this has required more communication.

Discussing it with my wife has allowed me to see her side and get affirmation on what we need to do.

If you don’t have a wife (or husband), talk with a trusted friend. Share your struggles and grief with them. Let iron sharpen iron.

I’m crying: Yes, I said it. I’m crying more. There’s been long periods of time where my eyes never cried a tear.

Lately it seems the fountains have been opened and the water is flowing freely. While this may seem like it would add to the struggle and lack of peace, it has helped.

It’s allowed negative feelings to come out in an expressible way. Through the tears, pain is leaving and I’m learning it’s okay to let my feelings out.

Finding peace can be elusive at times. The ease of finding peace can go away. But we can still find peace.

When peace is hard to find, be willing to fight for it. Open up to others, cry out to God, and be willing to let the tears flow. Sometimes the most difficult things are the pathway to peace.

Question: How do you find peace in the turmoil? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

This is a guest post by Joseph Lalonde. He is a youth leader at Oak Crest Church of God and leadership blogger at JMLalonde.com. Joseph shares leadership tools and encourages you to become a better leader. Connect with him on Twitter or at his blog.