Huston Piner's Blog - Posts Tagged "valentine"

The Unexpected Valentine's Card
by Huston Piner
14 February 2015

Felix looked inside his locker and scoffed. A pink card-sized envelope had been slipped through the air vent -- a Valentine's card, just the kind of thing to irritate the shiznit out of him. Some girls just never seem to get the message. On the other hand, he reasoned, I shouldn't be surprised. If you're relatively handsome -- and Felix was no troll -- you're bound to attract a couple of them every now and then, if nothing else out of curiosity. I guess it's just one of those things a guy has to put up with, even if he's gay.

It should have been clear to anyone who cared to even think about it that Felix was gay. He may not swish, he didn't use the gay lisp, and he wasn't into any of the stereotypical gay interests, but last spring, he had dropped more than a few hints that if a certain someone just happened to be gay he just might be interested in him.

Unfortunately, it turned out the guy was straight. But hey, at least Felix didn't get beat up for it. And it did make the buzz, and that had the bonus of making some of the would-be girlfriends at school finally face reality.

Since then, he had gone through a whole summer and fall semester without any girls pestering him. And things had looked just as good this semester -- that is, until today. Now here it was happening again. Some poor deluded girl had decided he would make the ideal boyfriend and she'd fired the opening salvo in a pointless campaign to win his heart.

He closed his locker and started to throw the unopened envelope in the nearest trashcan but stopped short. Might as well see which skank he was dealing with, he reasoned.

But he wasn't going to read it on an empty stomach. The school day was nearly over and he needed the reinforcement of a snack -- these days, there wasn't enough to the lunches they served to satisfy an anorexic. He folded the card over, shoved it in his pocket, and headed for his last class, study hall. It could wait until he got home. In the meantime, study hall.

Dirk looked up as Felix came in the room -- within a split-second of the bell ringing, as usual. He plopped down next to him, pulled out his chemistry book, and gave him a nod before trying to find the page he was supposed to study. But between the thought of another wannabe girlfriend and the gnawing hunger in his stomach, he couldn't concentrate. Instead, he just flipped the page back and forth trying to make sense out of the symbols and descriptions while his knee bobbed in frustration.

After a few minutes, he gave up, slammed the book closed, and rapped his fingers on the table.

Dirk glanced over at him. "Hey, Fel, what's up? What's the matter?"

Felix sighed before answering. "It's nothing really. It's just that I found a Valentine card in my locker just now and it jacks me."

Dirk raised an eyebrow and studied him before continuing. "So is it that bad?"

"I don't know. I haven't actually read it yet."

"Oh, then how do you know it's bad? Maybe it's just a friendly card, not an I Love You card."

"Yeah, right."

"Well, if you haven't actually read it how do you know?"

"Look, it's pink and that means it's from a girl. Who else would be sending me a Valentine? And in case you haven't noticed, Dirk, I'm gay. The last thing I want is some love-struck girl chasing after me."

"So what are you going to do? I mean, you are going to read it at least, aren't you?"

"I was going to just throw it away, but I decided I'd read it when I got home."

"Why stretch out the stress? If it is a love note, better to find out and get it over with. If it's not, you can chill."

Felix reached in his pocket and pulled out the envelope. He smoothed it on the table and broke the seal. Dirk watched as he pulled out a card that showed a touch more taste and panache than most. Felix let out one more sigh before opening it.

"Well?" Dirk asked while Felix read over the contents a second time.

"It's … it's curious. She must have low self-esteem; she didn't even sign it."

"Intriguing. A secret admirer."

"She says she's loved me for a long time and wants me to meet her in the park after school."

He studied the card again before passing to Dirk.

"Does that handwriting look familiar to you? I could almost swear I've seen it before."

Dirk read the card, returned it to its envelope, and folded it back over.

"I don't know. Handwriting like that could be from anyone."

Felix put it back in his pocket.

Dirk tapped his pencil on the desk. "So are you going?"

"Hell, no. If I show up she'll get the wrong idea and there'll be a messy confrontation."

For a moment, Dirk nodded and was silent. "But if you don't show up… she… might think you just didn't find the card in time. And if she came up to you in the lunchroom you'd have to let her down in public. That could be really awkward. I'd go, if I were you."

"If you were me, there'd be no problem. You like girls."

"Well, I think you should go," Dirk said, playing with a pencil. "What time does she want you to meet her?"

"Four o'clock."

* * *

Felix took a quick look at his phone -- four nineteen -- and rapped his fingers on the bench as he looked around for any sign of a girl his age. A couple of girls had wandered by a few minutes ago, but neither of them were close to high school aged. Other than that it was just another chilly mid-February Chadham afternoon. A light breeze was blowing and he could hear the churning of the river on the other side of the boardwalk.

At times like this he wished he were straight, at least he wouldn't feel so lonely all the time. It was bad enough being a teenager, but being a gay teenager in a town like Chadham was an epic misery. Friends were all well and good, and Dirk had certainly proved to be wonderful friend over the years, and more open to having a gay best friend than he'd had a right to expect. But friends could only go so far. What Felix wanted, what he desperately needed, was someone he could love. But if there were any other gays around who were his age, they were so far in the closet they were hiding inside a shoebox in the back.

If only Andy Johnson or better yet his big brother Clayton could be gay, he'd at least have something to dream about. Andy and Clayton were so hot you could catch fire just standing near them. But no, they were so straight you could use them to do your geometry homework. It was really depressing.

"Hey."

Felix glanced up to see Dirk staring down at him and noted with some surprise that he had actually changed clothes since the last time he saw him. Dirk didn't dress up often, but he always looked good when he did, like now. In fact he looked so good, it made Felix feel worse. Dirk was the ultimate forbidden fruit -- a best friend.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd… you know, I thought maybe you'd need me."

"Thanks."

Dirk sat down next to him. "So."

Felix shrugged his shoulders. "So nothing. She didn't show. I don’t know if I should feel happy or insulted. I mean, really; after all that mystery. Well, at least it wasn't all just a set up for some football-playing homophobe to beat the crap out of me."

Dirk stared off at the boardwalk and the river beyond it.

"You know, it could just be your secret admirer is shy."

"Oh God, stop it!" Felix groaned. "To begin with, why would anyone be interested in me?"

Dirk took a slow breath before replying. "You know, you always cut yourself short. You're not bad-looking. You've got a nice face and those freckles are just the thing to turn some people on."

"Uh-huh."

"No, I'm serious," Dirk said turning towards him. "I could easily see why someone would be attracted to you. You're really kind of cute and you're funny as hell when you want to be -- even if you're a total bitch if somebody interrupts you when Glee is on."

"Oh shut up," Felix snorted, rolling his eyes. But he had to admit it was true -- he'd given Dirk hell that time he called the night Blaine proposed to Kurt.

"And you've got a really nice personality," Dirk continued. "You dress well, and you always smell nice. You're really quite a catch."

Dirk fell silent while Felix took one final look around. He had waited long enough. The cold was getting to him and he wanted to put this whole stupid business behind him. That granola bar he'd wolfed down after he got home just hadn't done the job. A nice cappuccino would really hit the spot.

He turned to suggest they stop by the "Cuppa Café" down the block, but stopped when he found Dirk studying him.

The cold had made Dirk's cheeks red and it looked like he was blushing. Felix had always liked figuring out ways to make Dirk blush. With that dark hair, those rich brown eyes, and that pale skin, it made him look adorable. Like now. His eyebrows were cocked in that cute expression they always got when he was trying to remember an answer in class -- Felix had always adored that.

As his attention came to rest on Dirk's eyes, Felix felt his own cheeks beginning to burn. His heart seemed to beat a bit faster and he found himself moving an inch closer. A gentle breeze brought a hint of cologne his way. Dirk always wore it when he wanted to impress a date. Felix liked it; somehow, it always put him in the mind of that guy in the boy band everyone thought was gay but really wasn't.

His eyes drifted to Dirk's lips -- he had always had full pouty lips, the kind that Felix loved. Dirk really is a beautiful guy, he found himself thinking. If only he could be gay, if only that stupid card had come from him, not from some lovesick girl. If only…

Slowly, a little light began to glow in Felix's head. He tore his eyes away from Dirk's lips. He was still watching him, studying him.

"Dirk," Felix said quietly. "You… that card…."

As if on impulse, Dirk closed the distance between them and lightly brought pouty lips to his. It was brief but firm and warm, and as it ended, Felix saw hesitation and fear lingering in Dirk's eyes -- but something else too. For a second, he all he could do was stare into those eyes as the reality of what just happened and what it meant became clear in his mind.

Dirked was staring back at him, searching his eyes. Then he broke eye contact and sat back, his shoulders slumping, and looked away. Felix watched as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, and then he knew.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" he asked softly. "I thought you were straight; you always said you were straight."

"I thought I was," Dirk said, haltingly. "At least, I thought I was supposed to be. And you know how my family can be. But then you came out and after a while they accepted you, and the more I thought about girls, the more I thought about you and how much I liked you. And well… how much I --"

Felix didn't wait. He took him in his arms, their lips coming together. And Dirk took it well beyond the beginner's level, unleashing a waterfall of long suppressed yearning. Felix felt himself getting hard and his skin tingling as Dirk's tongue began to explore. He pulled Felix closer and deepened the kiss even further. Felix ran his fingers through thick dark hair as Dirk held him tight, rhythmically massaging the small of his back.

A cough brought them out of their private moment. The mother of a snickering elementary school boy scowled at them. She snapped at the boy to keep up and hurried him off. As they disappeared around the bend in the sidewalk, the kid looked back over his shoulder with a big grin and waved at them.

They watched and then looked at each other and started to laugh. Felix wasn't sure whether he was laughing at the woman's ridiculous expression when she saw two teenagers kissing each other or at the fact that the boyfriend he had wanted to find for so long had been right there in front him the whole time.

The laughter slowed into chuckling and finally the two boys fell silent. Reluctantly, they leaned back and sat quietly, arm in arm, while Felix delicately ran his fingers through Dirk's hair. The air was just as chilly as it had been before, but now Felix felt warm and happy. His chest felt light but filled with excitement. He was totally relaxed but felt full of energy. Suddenly, it was a new world.

He had known Dirk all his life and knew him better than anybody, but now there was a whole new side of him to discover, an inner world of emotions and passion he was more than ready to experience and savor. They had always done everything together, and they still would, but things were going to be different from now on. Different, and beautiful.

Slowly, Felix let out a contented sigh.

"Come on," he said, standing up and offering Dirk his hand.

Dirk took it and rose from the bench. "Where are we going?"

"There's a café I know down in the District that has great cappuccino -- and booths. We can talk for a while and maybe then go back to my house to… uh… study."

Dirk smiled and squeezed his hand. "Okay, that sounds good."

Felix started to walk, but Dirk pulled him back for a final embrace and kiss.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Felix."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Dirk."

The two of them started off hand in hand for an intimate cappuccino and the beginning of a new world -- one they would share together.