Pamela Foster's Blog, page 16

Geriatric Ballet and Proof of Leavening

I’m making pizza.

My yeast refused to proof, so I drove around the corner to the market for a jar of leavening. The stuff promises it’ll last forever as long as you take proper care of it. But, in my experience, yeast has a definite refrigerator shelf-life, no matter how carefully I maintain the temperature.

So, I’m standing in line to pay for my purchase and I look up to see an old couple in front of me. One of those duos that have been married so long they look alike.

Salt and pepper hair cut...

Angels, Bigfoot and ETs

If you tell a child angels watch over her, she will see angels. If you tell her Bigfoot lurks in the woods, she may well encounter Bigfoot. If you speak to a child of UFOs and alien being from other planets, there’s a good chance she’s going to think your nuts.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding. My apologies to the UFO enthusiasts out there.

My point is, people see what they want to see.

It’s no wonder more and more people see Bigfoot today with advertisers messing with Sasquatch and Bobo and the gang ru...

Romancing the Stones

I’m not sentimental–I’m as romantic as you are. The idea, you know,

is that the sentimental person thinks things will last–the romantic

person has a desperate confidence that they won’t.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

Last week I attended a small birthday celebration. There was a moment in the midst of good company when I stepped back out of my body, looked on our little group as an observer.

Jan Morrill, Ruth Weeks, Patty Stith, Linda Apple, Ned Downing (Ned’s an honorary member of...

Spitting, Kicking, Humping

Remember the cautionary tale of the camel that pokes his nose into the maiden’s tent slit?

“Oh, look at those eye lashes! And he’s sooo soft and cuddly. And OMG TWO humps!”

And. . .

The next thing the sweet young thing knows, she’s sharing her tent with a stinky, spitting, knobby-kneed camel.

But, wait. . .

Let’s look at this tale from another point of view.

The camel is perfectly adapted for desert life. He can march for days across the hot sand, kick a predator in the head without even slowing hi...

Hysterical Paralysis, Cast-Iron Skillets, and Wooden Rolling Pins

I love this picture. It shows the real me.

We have an abundance of crazy women in my family. And that’s a good thing.

We have a great-aunt who birthed seven boys. When her youngest son was two, this over-burdened woman suffered what I am going to be kind and call hysterical paralysis. Auntie woke one foggy morning and couldn’t move her legs. The boys were farmed out to relatives. All of whom lived within a two block area on first street in Eureka. The husband moved into another room of the hous...

Resolutions

My good friend, Jan Morrill, likes New Year’s resolutions. I love the woman dearly, but I don’t see the point. Many of my friends mentally hold up goals or wishes, offer these desires to the universe this time of year. Light candles and release balloons. I love these woman like sisters, but this is not my way.

I wake each morning and do the best I can for that day. Sometimes the bar is higher than others. There are days when just getting out of bed and not doing harm is the best I can do from...

Lift Your Eyes from the Sewer Grate.

“What we call destiny is usually determined by two or three casual decisions which on the surface seem about as important as spitting gum through a sewer grate.” James Lee Burke. The Night Johnny Ace Died, from the short story collection, Jesus Out to Sea.

The gap between expectations and reality grows during the Christmas season. If the Buddha is correct and all suffering is the result of expectation, then, hot damn, we got us a mess of confused and disappointed people this time of year. Ever...

Mangers, Magi and Walmart

Christmas for me is bittersweet.

I love the symbolism of the Christ child. I mean, let’s face it, by now we pretty much all know that December 25th isn’t literally the birthday of Jesus. But, I love the concept of love, God’s love, the most pure and powerful love in the world, coming to us in a manger. A place of ordinary, dirty animals.

I love this imagery because it gives me hope that in my most depraved, selfish, self-delusional moments, God is right there loving me. God is not bothered by t...

Next Big Thing

Help

My friend and mentor, Velda Brotherton, invited me to join in the fun of The Next Big Thing. What, you may well ask, is The Next Big Thing? Well, it’s essentially a chain-letter via blog posts. The blogger answers a few interview questions, and passes the fun on to five other bloggers.

But here’s the thing.

I couldn’t find five other bloggers to play along. I did find one. My good friend, Linda Apple, a wonderful speaker and writer and the maker of the world’s best coffee. So, are you payin...

Talking Bigfoot with Hunter Joe and a Cast of Thousands

People are so funny. And by people I mean me.

My friend, Madison Woods, suggested I email Hunter Joe to see if he’d like to interview me on his blog talk show, Investigations of the Unexplained.

The first novel in my Bigfoot series has been released. Bigfoot Blues. The novel looks at how we all have to chart our own path through whatever culture we’re born into. Pick and choose what to embrace as our own, what to ignore, and what to reject outright.

So, the book is not precisely about Bigfoot, b...