Robb Ryerse's Blog, page 7

Response to an Open Letter to Me

Not surprisingly, yesterday’s blog post about Rob Bell and gay marriage generated a rather large response for my little blog both here and on Facebook. It also produced an open letter to me posted on another blog: An Open Letter, from one EBC pastor to a former one…

Here is my response:

–

Hey Mike,

Thanks for responding thoughtfully to my blog post about Rob Bell’s radio interview about gay marriage that went viral this week. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone write an open letter to me, so I thought it might be fun to respond.

I understand that the tone of my blog post might have been disconcerting to some. When an author writes something, he or she can’t control how readers are going to read it. That being said, I know I’ve written at times with too much sarcasm or negativity. I recently took a month long break from my blog and social media to help me get into a better headspace about some of the interactions online that I had been having.

However, I don’t think I would classify this blog post with those. Here’s why.

I used the word “bullshit,” not in anger or pride, but for a couple of specific reasons. First, it is the word Rob Bell used in the interview, and I wanted to echo his sentiment. Second, admittedly, I wanted to be provocative. There is a lot of noise out there on the subjects of Rob Bell and gay marriage. I wanted my contribution to the conversation to get heard. Sometimes using an unexpected word helps with that. Third, and not least significantly, I think “bullshit” is an accurate word to describe my feelings about the way Wilson and Brierley (and many other Christians I know) try to frame this debate. As I’m sure you know, when someone calls “bullshit” on something, they are saying that something is dishonest and inaccurate. I don’t feel like my more conservative friends on this issue have been dealing with my position honestly or accurately.

As for the “raising my voice” part of my post. My intention was not to display a lack of humility, and I regret that what I said was read that way. I was trying to communicate the frustration level many of us feel when we engage in this debate. Frankly, I am sick and tired of being accused of being a Bible-hating liberal because I support same sex marriage. I have not abandoned my love and reverence for the Bible. I have not stopped studying the Bible. I don’t take God or the Bible any less seriously than I ever have. The conclusions I have come to have included serious Bible study and reflection. It is exasperating when conservative Christians think that they have a monopoly on biblical fidelity. My frustration (and subsequent cap locks) are a symptom of a debate gone wrong.

As you stated, you were not a fan of my use of the word “easily” when I said, “The Bible can easily be used to defend both sides of the debate.” Admittedly, I considered removing this adjective from this sentence before I published this post. I decided to leave it in for a couple of reasons.

First, I wanted the word “easily” to produce the reaction it has. Many conservative Christians can’t imagine how I could “easily” use the Bible to defend my position on same sex marriage because for them there is no debate about what the Bible says. For them, their position is the easy and clear one while the complicated and diluted one is the other side. I’ve heard it said a thousand times, “the clear biblical definition of marriage is one man and one woman,” but it’s not always that. Or, “Romans 1 clearly teaches that homosexuality is a sin,” but maybe it doesn’t.

As straightforwardly as you interpret the Bible, so do I. I have done language and cultural studies. I have thought about authorial intent. My use of the word “easily” is to illustrate that it does not require hermeneutical or interpretative gymnastics to find support in the Bible for either side of this debate. And that is why the debate is so complicated.

(And further, I’m not sure that I’m willing to concede that a more complicated hermeneutic is always a cause for concern. In some cases, it might be the path to a better interpretation of Scripture.)

My frustration is with conservative Christians who are framing the debate as having God on their side. Are those who interpret the Bible differently merely godless? Why should we assume that a person who is seeking God first and foremost would come to the same conclusions we do? Why would we assume that a person who is seeking first Christ and his kingdom would make the same interpretative decisions we have?

I don’t expect everyone … or anyone, for that matter … to agree with me. I’m not asking anyone to read the Bible the way I do. What I am asking for is that the debate be framed differently. It is not God, the Bible, and conservative Christians vs. Rob Bell, me, and some vast liberal agenda.

It’s disingenuous when it gets framed that way – and it does, quite frequently.

My movement on this particular issue has been motivated by my love for God and my desire to reflect the love of God in the world in which I live. As I read the Bible, over and over again, I find that God has a soft spot for the oppressed, marginalized, and rejected. I’m not sure the same can be said for God and religious leadership. I want to be where God is.

Hopefully this clarifies my position a bit. Thanks for engaging me on it.

Vanessa and I have such fond memories of our time at EBC. I’m not sure we have ever had more fun in a two year period of time than we did when we were working with the teens there. Next time I’m in the area, we need to get a coffee or a beer or something.

All the best.

Robb

 

The post Response to an Open Letter to Me appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

God vs. Rob Bell: the Debate Is Bull$#*!

More than any other topic, I get blog hits when I post about either Rob Bell or homosexuality. So … why not post about both? Here we go.

But before we do, a note: I’m going to swear a little bit in this post. If you find that offensive, please know that I am not doing so to purposefully offend you. I am doing so to stress the gravity of both the debate that is taking place and the seriousness with which I hold the position I do.

The video below has been making the rounds over the past couple of days. It features Rob Bell and British pastor Andrew Wilson on a British radio show called Unbelievable?, hosted by Richard Brierley. It’s long but worth the watch.

 

Throughout the conversation, it seems like Brierley and Wilson gang up on Rob, insisting that he defend his recently announced support of same sex relationships. Wilson works hard, trying to get Rob to say whether or not gay sex is sinful. Rob refuses to take the bait and tries to keep framing the discussion in a way that resonates with him. I deeply appreciate that.

At times Rob looks bemused, annoyed, and detached. It’s like the debate that Wilson and Brierley want to have sounds to him like a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Eventually, around 16 and a half minutes in, he kind of snaps and calls bullshit on the whole thing.

And I am so glad he did.

One of the traps that Brierley and Wilson use is to try to label Rob’s position as “liberal” and “unorthodox.” The presupposition is that Rob has set his own opinion over and against the opinion of God. It’s God vs. Rob Bell. This is rather clever of Brierley and Wilson. If you can frame the debate that God “clearly says x, y, and z” while your opponent says something else, you’ve won. Being of the same opinion as God is the ultimate trump card.

This is bullshit.

It is not that Christian proponents of monogamous, faithful same sex relationships have their interpretation of the Bible while opponents of homosexuality have God’s interpretation. That’s simply a logical and hermeneutical fallacy. It’s bullshit.

Do you mind if I raise my voice a little bit?

EVERYONE IS INTERPRETING THE BIBLE. NO ONE IS OBJECTIVE. ALL OF US IN THIS DEBATE, REGARDLESS OF THE CONCLUSIONS WE COME TO, ARE SEEKING TO MAKE THE BEST SENSE OF THE BIBLE THAT WE CAN. WE ARE NOT TRYING TO RID OURSELVES OF GOD. WE ARE TRYING TO FIND GOD IN THE MIDST OF A VERY COMPLICATED WORLD.

I have had this bullshit foisted on me. When I have spoken out in favor of same sex marriage, I have had people send me lists of Bible verses, as if I had not given any thought to them, as if a list of Scriptural prooftexts is all that is needed for a discussion. Bullshit. I have wrestled with the biblical texts. A lot. I am interpreting them using my knowledge, faith, and experience, along with various hermenteutical tools, just like my friends who have come to different conclusions than me.

The Bible can easily be used to defend both sides of this debate. The debate is not won, let alone advanced, by simplistic prooftexting.

I too have had people accuse me of being against God because of what I have said and written. This is bullshit too. The conclusions I have come to are motivated by my love for God and my desire to see the love and justice of God’s kingdom spread far and wide.

It is disingenuous and not a little insulting to have my brothers and sisters in Christ try to pit me (or Rob, for that matter) against Jesus and his Father when I am simply trying to follow the way of Jesus as best I can.

Disagree with me. But be honest about my intentions and my process.

Debate me. But don’t try to label me as something just so that you can lump me together with some group you don’t like, as if that is the end-all and be-all of biblical interpretation.

Dismiss me if you have to. But don’t damn me to hell just because I come to a different hermeneutical and interpretative conclusion than you.

These kinds of conversations are tremendously important. But they are not just important because interpretations of the Bible are at stake. They are important because people’s lives, well-being, and faith are at stake. To suggest anything else is, well, bullshit.

 

The post God vs. Rob Bell: the Debate Is Bull$#*! appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

Not In a Good Place? God Might Be There Too

On Saturday, my latest column appeared in the Faith Matters section of the Northwest Arkansas Times. If you’re a subscriber, you can read it here. If not, it is below.

–

I am not in a good place.

Have you ever heard someone say those words? Maybe you have said them yourself. I know I have – recently even.

“I am not in a good place” has become a common euphemism that we use to express some overwhelming negative feeling.

 

Sometimes we say it to describe a time of emotional struggle. We use it to speak of our discouragement or depression. It’s like saying, “I’m feeling blue.” It’s a non-technical and non-threatening way of communicating that we are hurting and that we may need some help.

We can also customize this phrase to describe how some aspect of our lives has gone sour. “My wife and I are not in a good place” means that we are having some marriage difficulty. “I’m not in a good place at work” says that it may be time to look for a new job. “I’m not in a good place with God” is a synonym for the dark night of the soul that we all eventually experience.

No matter what has caused it or what aspect of our lives we are describing, we use this euphemism as a confession. It’s shorthand for “I am not ok. Something is wrong. And I don’t think I can fix it.”

As they say, confession can be good for the soul. If you’re like me, you probably don’t say “I am not in a good place” until after you have carried your particular burden around on your own for a while. We make every attempt to solve our problems – to no avail. We finally get to the point that all we can do is admit the truth about where we find ourselves. And it can feel like we’ve just turned the release value to relieve the pressure.

 

We say “I am not in a good place” metaphorically. The place we are describing is an emotional or spiritual state, not a physical location. I find it interesting that throughout the biblical story, but especially in the book of Genesis, people connected their emotional and spiritual states to their physical locations.

Their maps were also maps of their souls.

Take the story of Hagar as an example. She was an Egyptian slavegirl who was taken into the household of the Israelite patriarch Abram, who later became known as Abraham. Hagar worked as the personal servant for Abram’s wife, Sarai.

When Abram and Sarai couldn’t get pregnant, Sarai suggests to Abram that he father a child with Hagar. Sarai expects that Hagar could be a surrogate for her and that she’ll be able to raise a family for Abram through her servant. But, not unsurprisingly, it doesn’t go well.

Hagar gets pregnant, and Sarai gets jealous. She begins to mistreat and abuse her servant. When Hagar can’t take any more, she flees in desperation from Abram, Sarai, and the whole camp.

Fittingly, Hagar ends up in a dessert. She has been used and abused. No one gave her a choice in this whole scheme. No one cares what she needs or wants. She is alone and upset. She is not in a good a place.

And it is there that God meets her.

As the Genesis story goes, the angel of the Lord appears to Hagar. The angel of the Lord sees her, listens to her, understands her, and comforts her. The angel tells Hagar that if she returns to Abram and has the son that she is carrying, God will watch out for her son too. He will be blessed and will become the father of a great people.

Hagar takes great encouragement from these words, and she goes back. But before she leaves, she says that this place where she was is the place where God has seen her. In fact, the name of the location where their encounter happened gets changed. From then on, it’s known as Beer Lahai Roi, which means “well of the Living One who sees me.”

 

I am hopeful that a story like Hagar’s will helps us all admit when we are not in a good place. Maybe through that confession and in the midst of our pain, we might have an experience with God in which we come to realize that God sees us, listens to us, understands us, and comforts us.

And when we do, maybe we can change the name of where we are from “not in a good place” to “a place where I encountered God.”

 

The post Not In a Good Place? God Might Be There Too appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

Thoughts about the Second Commandment

This year at Vintage, we are exploring the book of Exodus. At the beginning of the year, we went through the narrative of the book, looking at the big ideas and themes. Now, we have double-backed and are taking some time to think about the Ten Commandments (podcast link, if you’d like to listen in).

For many of us, the Ten Commandments have a negative connotation. We associate them with the kind of culture wars that make political extremists out of us all. Or, we associate them with feelings of guilt and limitation. Or, we associate them with pointless arguments about biblical interpretation.

My goal in this series is to paint the Ten Commandments in a positive light, to show how they are an invitation to live the life that God intends for us. They are good news. They are the gospel.

This is a sermon series that has captured my imagination.

And apparently my wife Vanessa’s also. She blogged some thoughts about the second commandment, about not making idols. Here’s a snippet:

Don’t make something that claims to encapsulate God or limit what God can do or be.  Robb postured a theory that maybe that part of us that rebels a little bit at the thought of being told “this is how you are, you can’t really be something else”  is actually reflective of being made in God’s image. Maybe God doesn’t like to be pigeon-holed, stereo-typed and made predictable either. That idea has intrigued me ever since.  To assume that God will act in a certain way, that God will hate or love, that God must or won’t…we confine him to an image. The image in our own heads. And while we didn’t go to the trouble of painting Jesus on an actual canvas depicted as a white, middle class American who finds a number of people and groups really distasteful, I know that I had a fairly detailed graven image of God in my head for many years.  Sadly, this image loses it’s “punch” after a while.  It lacks teeth. Stickiness. Value. Worse, for the time that I maintain that image, I miss the chance to see God in unexpected places.

Read the rest of her great post here.

 

The post Thoughts about the Second Commandment appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

The Curse of Week 2

Nobody told me about the Curse of Week 2.

A couple of weeks ago my son, Calvin, and I started a new Experimental Collective at Vintage. This go-around is on the theme of freedom, and we are focusing on practical ways to experience greater freedom by taking head-on some of the stuff that has been bogging us down. Our collective is specifically focusing on healthy lifestyle choices – diet, exercise, etc.

We are using the Game On approach. We have split into two teams, and we get points based on how we do with a variety of things – portion control, drinking water, eating vegetables, exercise, getting enough sleep, no alcohol, adding a positive habit and getting rid of a negative one – that kind of thing.

 

I was very eager to be a part of this collective because since the holidays (and maybe before) I have been feeling very bad about my physical health. I weighed more than I ever had. My clothes were tight. I wasn’t sleeping good. I just felt miserable. This collective has been my opportunity to turn around an area of my life that I had let get out of control.

The first week went wonderfully. I was excited to be doing it. I enjoyed the challenge, even when it was an inconvenience. Calvin and I started running 5 days a week at 6am. We go a mile and a half before the sun is up. I’ve been going to the chiropractor with regularity (part of my healthy habit), and I’ve got back on the caffeine-free wagon (my unhealthy habit).

Maybe my favorite part of the Game On competition is drinking 3 liters of water a day. At first, I was hitting the bathroom every 10 minutes or so. But now, I’ve learned to really enjoy drinking that much water through the course of the day.

 

The hardest part for me has been not being able to weigh myself daily. In the Game On competition, you lose points if you step on the scale more than once a week. This part has been hard for me. I’m a guy who likes to crunch the numbers. I like to chart the metrics and see what kind of progress is being made. Not having a daily number to know where I stand has been frustrating.

Which is part of the reason why I so enjoy Sunday mornings. Sundays are my cheat day. One day a week, you are exempt from all rules. Big portions. Dessert. Beer. Bacon. It’s glorious.

And since I’m cheating on Sunday, I decided that Sunday morning is the best time for me to have my weekly weigh in. Last Sunday, I stepped on the scale, and I was down 7.5 pounds. Woohoo! Yeah me!

This accomplishment gave me so much confidence to head into week 2 strong. I had another perfect week – sleep, water, exercise, vegetables, the whole shooting match. Yesterday morning, I stepped onto the scale to chart my progress, hopeful to hit a milestone for which I was aiming.

And … nothing.

Exactly the same as the last Sunday.

All those vegetables. All that running. All those bottles of water. All for naught.

The number was the same.

As a metrics guy, this was really discouraging to me. My mind started to race, searching for reasons. Had I eaten too much during my Friday night cheat meal? Was is the last bottle of water I drank before going to bed Saturday night? Had I been unwittingly miscalculating my portions?

 

What do you do in times like this? Of course, I googled it up on my google machine. Apparently, this is a thing. The second week of a diet is often the worst week. Week 1 is when you drop all the water weight. Week 3 is when you begin a slow and steady slope toward your goal. Week 2 is the bump in the road. In fact, most people actually gain weight in the second week of a diet. I don’t watch the show, but apparently on The Biggest Loser, this is known as “The Curse of Week 2.”

This is the reason so many people quit dieting. They get discouraged when they see the number on the scale. They think it’s not working. And they give up.

Since I like to chart the metrics, I’ve got to be careful not to be discouraged that the number at the start of Week 3 on my spreadsheet is the same as the number at the beginning of Week 2. Instead, I’m trying to focus on some other true metrics:

Like how my clothes fit better.

Like how I can button a suit jacket I couldn’t a few weeks ago.

Like how I feel much better.

Like how I can run farther and faster than I could two weeks ago.

Like how I am sleeping great lately.

 

As I’ve been reflecting on the Curse of Week 2, it’s got me thinking about a broader truth. Not just in healthy lifestyle choices, but in so many areas of life, we can easily get discouraged and be tempted to quit when doing the right thing doesn’t lead to the results we expect. The Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”

There are other areas of my life right now where I am not all that satisfied with the metrics. Some of the numbers, so to speak, are letting me down. I am doing what I am supposed to do, being faithful in my responsibilities, not cheating … but it’s not showing up in the results.

Sometimes I feel tempted to quit, to give up, to walk away. But then I remember that, just as the number on the scale doesn’t tell the whole story, so too can other performance metrics not reveal all that is actually happening.

And so, I start Week 3 with confidence and vigor. And I keep going in other areas too. The Curse of Week 2 isn’t going to get me this time.

 

The post The Curse of Week 2 appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

Did You Miss Me?

It has been a month. I have been off my blog. Off Instagram. Off Twitter. Off Facebook. Off our podcast. For a variety of reasons, I decided that the social web wasn’t good for me. I was cranky, jaded, and in need of a break. So I took it with no real plan for how long it would last.

But I think I’m now ready to come back.

At least to some of it.

 

I have missed blogging. I have missed sharing my thoughts on the news of the day, the theological thoughts that run through my head, or the interesting articles I run across on the web. For a little while during my hiatus, I kept a list of things I would have blogged, tweeted, or Facebooked about had I been on the social web. As I look back on the past month, here are some things that would have been blog fodder for me:

Vanessa’s First 5K

The Zen of Being a Soccer Dad

Vintage’s Creative Worship Gathering on Prayer

Boston Marathon Bombing

Vanessa’s Blog Post about Helpers

Hiking the War Eagle Trail

Darrel’s Post about Fundy Love

Going to NYC

Having a Business Meeting on Madison Avenue

Sitting in a Room with Google and Amazon and Not Being Overwhelmed

What We Talk About When We Talk About God by Rob Bell

The Browns Draft Results

The Ongoing Investigation into Browns Owner Jimmy Haslem

My New Belt from CauseGear

My New Glasses

The Challenge of Parenting a Teenage Girl

The Irony of the Regular Baptist Press Catalog that Showed Up Addressed to Vintage Fellowship

Starting Our New Experimental Collective – Game On

The Ten Commandments Series We Are Doing at Vintage

The Heroic and Hilarious Charles Ramsey

Here’s the commitment that I am making to myself as I return to the blog. I am coming back with greater honesty. Part of the jadedness I felt a month ago was directly connected to how I was stuffing some of my feelings about things. One Tuesday a couple of weeks ago, Vanessa and I had a big talk in which I shared with her some of my deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. It was liberating. Not easy … but liberating. I’m not very good at doing that naturally, but I also know how important it is for real connection to take place. So, I think I am going to push myself to be even more authentic and vulnerable here on my blog. Buckle your seat belts.

 

I have missed Instagram too. A while back I started using the Mailbox app for my iPhone. It encourages you to reach inbox zero by dealing with your email immediately. Each day, there is a little reward for achieving inbox zero – an Instagram pic of the day. I love the Instagram pic of the day. Often it makes me feel wistful for the peace and quiet of creation. Because I’ve enjoyed the Instagram pic of the day so much, I’ve decided that in my return to the social web, Instagram is going to be a bigger part of my involvement. Want to follow me? I’m rryerse. What’s your Instagram username so that I can follow you?

 

I have kinda missed Twitter. I like Twitter a lot. I like that users are limited to 140 characters. It’s harder – not impossible, but certainly harder – to go off on some nutty and annoying rant when you’ve got only 140 characters. Currently, I am looking for a Twitter client to use that can help me stay better organized on Twitter and to help manage the noise. When I find it, I’ll be back. Any suggestions?

 

I haven’t really missed Facebook. And I’m not sure I’m coming back. Yet. Or at all. I just don’t know. Facebook has great value in staying connected with my friends. My current experimental collective, for instance, has a Facebook group. I wish I were a part of it. But I don’t want to return to the stressful cacophony of religious and political posturing that pretty much drove me from Facebook. If I come back, it will be in a limited way. And if I come back, I may have to dramatically reduce my friend list. Let’s just be honest. I don’t really have 600 friends. Why should Facebook say otherwise. Does anyone have any suggestions, encouragements, or ideas when it comes to Facebook engagement?

 

I also don’t know what I think about the future of the Fundamorphosis podcast. Vanessa and I really enjoyed doing it when we were doing it. But the process of trying to find and secure guests was a bit disheartening. It also feels completely self-indulgent to make it a guest-free podcast. The podcast is a good thing that we need to decide if we are willing to devote the necessary resources to make it happen. Those discussion will be on-going with Vanessa and me. Obviously, I’ll let you know if and when it returns.

 

So, there it is. This is my social web plan. I think I’m back.

Did you miss me?

 

The post Did You Miss Me? appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

Radio Silent

I’ve decided to go radio silent for a while. A couple of weeks at least, maybe longer. I’m not going to post on my blog, tweet, or be on Facebook. I’m going to take a break.

It’s been a long time coming.

The idea of taking a social media fast has been appealing to me, and I’ve been considering doing this for quite some time. When Vanessa and I visited Canada last summer, we were basically offline for several days. It was amazing. In Canada, I had to be offline because I don’t have an international data plan and there wasn’t any wifi at the beach where we were camping. I’ve wondered if I could replicate that same offline experience in my real life.

Now, I’m going to try.

But it’s more than that. Increasingly, Facebook and other online interactions haven’t been generative for me. They have drained me. I have found myself upset, annoyed, and constantly judging and rebutting what other people think, believe, and post. This is not the person I want to be.

And worse, I’ve been negative and jealous. When I see others post things about how amazing their lives and ministries are or how God has so amazingly answered their prayers, or when I read a blog post that gets a lot of traffic but isn’t all that profound, lately, I’ve been having a reaction that I don’t like very much.

As probably evidenced by the post right before this one, I think I’ve let myself get too jaded and too sarcastic. Facebook isn’t to blame for this. I am.

In essence, I don’t think I’ve been the best version of me lately. And so, I’m going to go quiet for a while. I’m going to try to spend the time I had spent on social networks doing other kinds of things. Like yard work. And reading. And meditating. And writing for an not-so-immediate audience.

I know that I don’t have a huge blog following, but I wanted to let all of you that are out there know where I am. I’ll be back at some point.

If you need or want to get in touch with me, please do so at robb (at) vintagefellowship dot org.

 

The post Radio Silent appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

You Belong With Me: Taylor Swift, God, and an Unusual Email

On Sunday, we received a rather unusual email in the Vintage Fellowship inbox. It’s not unheard of to receive unusual emails from time to time. Most of the time they get dismissed as either spam or someone looking for a handout (which sounds, unintentionally, like a rather derogatory way to describe them).

This email was different. It was long and rambled a bit yet seemed sincere and earnest. I don’t think it was a joke. It was sent to several other churches along with ours. From looking at the names of them,  I can’t detect any kind of pattern, geographically or denominationally.  

I’m not going to post it in its entirety. Nor am I going to tell you who it is from, not that it would matter because it came from a perfect stranger. I’m just going to share with you some of the salient parts. Maybe we can share a chuckle and even engage in some conversation about it.

 

Subject line: All Things Are Possible with Christ

Well, there should be no arguing with that, right? However, I might just argue that some things are actually not possible with Christ, like flapping your arms and starting to fly. This subject line makes me think that what is to follow is going to be one of those in reality impossible things.

 

Dear Brothers and Sisters….

Peace be upon you. If I could have a moment of your time I would like to share with you something God is doing in my life and I would like prayers for. God laid this on my heart to write this letter, and for the best way for me to be honest I am writing you as I would my own blood. Love you all.

Off to a good start. Butter us up with Christian sounding greetings. And blame it on God so that if we think you’re crazy, we can’t pin that on you. Because God laid this on your heart.

He then describes himself as a 26-year-old in California who became a Christian at a David Crowder Band concert six years earlier. He then goes on to tell us about how he got a job at a country radio station, which leads to the show stopper.

 

[The station was] putting a listener appreciation concert in June. I had been such a big music lover my whole life, and being near all that music was fascinating to me, seeing how things worked behind the scenes.

Taylor Swift was a new singer, I had only heard a song or two of hers and people were so excited to see her perform.

I had thought she was pretty girl, I had only seen a music video of her once before. June 2nd arrives, and there are thousands of people at this concert.  I was standing by the radio station booth and about 100ft away walks out Taylor Swift. I never get star struck and never have. And under my breath I just say to myself, “there is my wife.”

“There is my wife.” You are writing us an email to tell us that you are going to marry Taylor Swift. This is an email that you have sent to who-knows-how-many churches. Telling them that you are going to marry Taylor Swift. Because she you saw her from 30 yards away. At a concert. Totally legit.

 

I know what you’re thinking, WHAT? Ha-ha I know…

No, I bet you don’t know what I’m thinking. Here is what I am thinking:

Dude. Have you ever listened to any of Taylor Swift’s songs? Her relationships don’t end well. She writes songs about guys she has dated. Do you really want every preteen girl in America singing along with the radio about how you did Taylor Swift wrong? What guy wants that?

I don’t know about you, but that’s what I’m thinking.

 

I had every opportunity to meet her. I was backstage and I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I was attracted to this girl. I never had issues talking to girls, only the ones I liked.

I have never beaten myself up for not talking or introducing myself to her, because God did something in me on that day.

We hear people say everything happens for a reason. I truly and absolutely believe God does things that make sometimes absolutely no sense at all. But there is joy in the journey of simply believing in what you know God has placed on your heart.

Every now and then I would just say, “I am going to marry Taylor Swift one day,” and people would laugh and say “yea right, you and a million other guys.” And inside I would think to myself, but those 999,999 are wrong, because I am the One.

As time went on, still believing, I finally really just took it to God fully. I just said God, is this really what you’re doing? Am I crazy? Obsessed? After her fame? I would ask myself all these things because I needed to know if I had any selfish or ill motive to what I was believing God to do in my life.

I began to almost feel embarrassed because I truly do believe God has placed this on my heart.

God placed this on his heart. GOD. PLACED. THIS. ON. HIS. HEART. God told him that he is going to marry Taylor Swift. Or at least gave him the desire to be married to Taylor Swift. Seriously?

He then goes on for several more paragraphs about prayer and his struggle with finding rest in his desire to marry Taylor Swift. He quotes Psalm 37:4 and Philippians 4:13, which if author’s intent means anything to biblical interpretation probably have absolutely nothing to do with Taylor Swift.

I also want to say this. If you couldn’t gird up your loins and talk to her when you had the chance, don’t think that praying about it now is going to make any difference. Seems to me like you missed your golden opportunity here, and no amount of intercession by other Christians across the country is going to cause you to cross paths with Taylor Swift again. Sorry, man. I think you blew it.

 

If I have bored you I am sorry…I thank you for taking the time to read this, I tried to keep it minimal.

But I really just wanted to share my story and ask you and the Church for prayer in regards to what God is doing in my life.

OK. First, if this is minimal, I’m not sure how this email could have been maximal. And second, can you image any church adding this to their Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting prayer bulletin? Can you imagine any church firing up the telephone prayer chain for this? I so want to imagine a church doing that because it would be awesome.

The letter ends with a PS.

 

PS Anything you need prayers for?

Yes, in fact, I was really hoping that I could be best friends with Bono. I’m sure that if I met him, Conan O’Brien would want to be my kids’ godfather. I am convinced that Ellen DeGeneres and I would be fast friends if only we – I don’t know – knew each other. Please pray for this. God laid it on my heart.

 

Besides the patented absurdity of this guy one day marrying Taylor Swift, I think this email reveals some of the significant fissures in American Christianity. There is much to us discuss.

What do we think God is doing? Is God some divine matchmaker? Does God really lay stuff like this on our hearts? Is this what our faith is about?

What is prayer and how should we pray? Is an approach to prayer that seems to treat God as a cosmic vending machine ever appropriate?

Why do we so worship fame and celebrity? When does a celebrity crush cross the line into something more creepy like stalking? How often do we hide stalking in spiritually sounding language?

What is the basis of relationship and marriage? Is there such a thing as a soulmate? And can one person participate in it while the other is oblivious?

How can we tell the difference between sincere faith and mental illness? How do I know if this person is a person of great faith needing encouragement or if this is a person in need of some kind of psychological intervention?

I haven’t responded to this email, and I don’t think I plan to. If you were me, would you? And what would you say?

 

The post You Belong With Me: Taylor Swift, God, and an Unusual Email appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

Facebook Christianity

For those of you who have asked, here is my column from Saturday’s paper.

–

Like many people, a good percentage of my social interaction now takes place on Facebook.

I use Facebook to connect with old friends, chat with people far and wide whom I don’t get to see that often, and keep track of what is happening in the lives of my family and close friends. Facebook is one of those rare revolutionary developments that has the potential to change everything about how we communicate with one another.

Also like many others, I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I love how Facebook allows me to manage my communication with friends in one easy-to-use place. As a busy, bi-vocational pastor, Facebook allows me to quickly be informed about things that are happening in my congregation. Nonetheless, I hate how addictive and time-consuming it can get. I have wasted far more time dinking on Facebook than I am willing to admit.

While it makes some things easier, Facebook also has a way of complicating relationships. People don’t post in a vacuum. Insults, unkind words, and offensive content are just as hurtful on Facebook as they are face-to-face. And then there is the awkward feeling when you realize that you have been de-friended by someone. What happens on Facebook happens in real life.

But what I hate most about Facebook is what it has revealed about how Christians express their faith. My wife started calling it “Facebook Christianity,” and in my estimation, Facebook Christianity has become an ugly thing. I don’t necessarily blame the social network itself for this. There is nothing inherent in the technology or in Mark Zuckerberg’s design that has negatively impacted Christianity. Instead, how Christians use Facebook reveals something about how we think and feel.

Facebook has made exposed our conversations about faith to be very shallow. A lot of the statuses belonging to my Christian friends are either Bible verses without any context or clichés void of any real meaning. Or worse, every single day one of my Christian friends will post a picture that I’m expected to share. If I don’t, either I’ll miss out on some miraculous blessing from God or I’ll be demonstrating that I am actually ashamed of Jesus.

I wonder if some Christians use these kinds of Facebook statuses as a way of “witnessing.” Do they think that they are representing Jesus and the gospel well this way? Are they convinced that this is effective evangelism? Are they inviting meaningful conversation with spiritual seekers?

Far more likely, I think they are contributing to the cultural noise that makes it very easy for people to dismiss and marginalize Christians as out-of-touch and myopic. I don’t think Facebook Christianity is good for Christianity.

Even more troubling to me is how Facebook has helped to deepen the divide between people of differing beliefs. I have a wide variety of Christian friends on Facebook.  Because I grew up in fundamentalist churches, many of my friends are very conservative. They post about pro-life issues, gun rights, and how they think President Obama is leading America toward destruction. I also have a lot of progressive Christian friends on Facebook who post about marriage equality, hypocrisy in America’s megachurches, and how they think misguided Republicans are.

Regardless of which direction they are coming from, what my Christian friends have in common is their assumption that all Christians do – or at least should – see things from their perspective. Rather than fostering meaningful dialog about controversial issues, in most cases, I think that Facebook has caused us to become more vitriolic and less willing to listen. Facebook has reinforced the us-versus-them mentality that has done great damage to both the church and the cause of Christ.

Maybe instead of spending so much time and energy trying to come up with the clever status or meme that will win the latest argument, we ought to be spending our time and energy listening and seeking to understand one another, in other words, truly connecting. I think that when we as Christians use Facebook to point fingers or score cheap political points, we are wasting a golden opportunity to demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit.

I don’t know if Facebook has staying power or if it will soon go the way of MySpace and Friendster. What I do know is that while it is here and so widely used, Facebook is a blessing and a curse for Christians. Our status updates do more than just tell our friends what we have going on in our lives. They reveal our hearts. And they speak volumes about our faith.

 

The post Facebook Christianity appeared first on Robb Ryerse.

I Failed at Lent

I’ll be honest with you. I totally bonked on Lent this year.

Over the past several years, the annual observance of Lent has been a very meaningful part of my spiritual formation. For me, Lent has been a time to experiment with different choices and disciplines. It has been a time for me to get out of my own rut. I’ve experienced great freedom and a rebirth of newness in my life through Lent.

But not this year.

 

Lent kind of snuck up on me this year. It started nine days earlier than it did last year, and I never really saw it coming. I pulled together an Ash Wednesday gathering for Vintage before I was mentally prepared for it. And I kicked off my Lenten observance without the energy for some kind of major change.

And so I went with a minor change. Something easy. Something I could handle. In the past, I have abstained from various things during the Lenten season. This year, I thought I would try engaging in a new behavior for Lent. I made a Lenten commitment I had never done before – I decided to read every day during Lent.

I love to read. I have a stack of books to tackle. I would love the excuse to make reading a higher priority. Not difficult but still meaningful.

Or so I thought.

For the first 10 days or so of Lent, I kept on track. I had reading on my to do list, and I kept my Lenten commitment. And then I started to get wobbly. I missed a day. And then I heard myself making excuses. And then I missed a couple of days in a row. And then the wheels completely came off.

This is the first time in my life that I have failed at Lent.

 

In previous years, I’ve looked forward to Easter because it meant I was released of my Lenten fast. In years that I had given up alcohol, for instance, I took great pleasure in my first glass of wine or beer with Easter dinner. A small part of my Easter celebration was the satisfaction that I had made it. And I relished rewarding myself.

I didn’t make it this year. I don’t have a stack of books to look at with great pride, knowing that I came, I read, I conquered. Instead, I have the realization that I bonked.

And I kind of feel like I am bonking at other things right now too. I weigh more now than I ever have. I’ve been eating like crap. And I’ve made excuses about going to the gym. Vanessa and I haven’t had a budget meeting in a while. And there are things on my to do list that have been just sitting there for weeks.

 

It’s a good thing that Easter isn’t just a celebration of Lenten success. It is also a celebration of our failure. It is a celebration that failure and darkness and death and bonking aren’t final. It is a celebration of new life, of second chances, or the newness of spring.

So tonight, on Holy Saturday, as I sit shiva for Jesus with my friends. I’ll also sit shiva for myself. Because I am dead too. Lent this year proved it. And tomorrow morning, when I gather again with my friends to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection, I’ll celebrate my own resurrection too.

God’s mercies are new every morning. And I hope to feel this truth deeply in my soul this Easter morning.

 

The post I Failed at Lent appeared first on Robb Ryerse.