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SISTA POWER: COLLABORATIONS ON SIGNIFICANT LEVELS

On Saturday, the 2nd of March, 2013, Sista Power , a
book by Bidemi Mark-Mordi on discovering the power of collaborations,
was presented to the public at the Coral Hall in Victoria Island,
Lagos.  You can read details about the occasion from The Nation's
newspaper reportage of the event here:

http://thenationonlineng.net/new/arts/life-midweek-magazine/discovering-the-power-in-sista-power/

and Guardian newspapers: http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=115469:forging-collaboration-among-women-in-sista-power&catid=74:arts&Itemid=683




About the Author: Bidemi Mark-Mordi.

I cannot write about Sista Power ,
without speaking about its author. I first met sista B, at a book
reading session organized by another sista, Bola Essien-Nelson about two
plus years ago, if I am not mistaken, at the Raddison Blu hotels on
Ozumba Mbadiwe road in Victoria Island, Lagos; from a distance, I
admired the passion with which she supported Bola. From where I sat, I
followed her on twitter, as most of us present at the venue were sending
out tweets of the event. I got an instant follow back, including a
direct message from Sis B, thanking me for following. I was impressed.
From that little interaction, the next time we saw, apart from Facebook
and Twitter interactions, was during an event she hosted at the NNPC
building in VI tagged, ROTH, an acronym for, Return of The Helper,
an annual international event in Lagos, a most empowering, and
spiritually enlightening event for women from all walks of life. The
rest, as they say, has been history, as sis B has proven to be a warm,
kind and approachable woman-definitely no airs of any sort around her as
what you see, is what you get. Her passion for women, and the issues
that assail women, is quite commendable, and as an entrepreneur,  CEO of
Verbatim Communications and publisher of Effectual Magazine ,
she delves into very salient issues which affect women. The fact that
she is a certified John Maxwell coach, trainer and pioneer member  of
the John Maxwell Founder's Circle coaching team, founding member and MD
of Woman Act Now Global Nigeria , an organization
empowering women to effectively execute their dreams and use their
influence to impact family, community, and nation, stands her in good
stead to champion issues that affect women.







Bidemi Mark-Mordi

When I first got my copy of Sista Power ,
I was pleasantly surprised at  the design/print quality of the book,
which was published in Nigeria by Verbatim Communications Limited. The
quality of production, and the simplicity/authenticity I gleaned behind
the words, made reading the book a breeze. When Sis B first called me to
request that I come on her panel of discussants for the day, I was 
excited, honored, and apprehensive, all at once,  because the book was
on my wish list to read; I promised to read the book immediately  and
once I started, which was mostly at night when the whole house was deep
in slumber, I was hooked. The Information in the book excited,
challenged, empowered, and enlightened me and I began to look forward to
sharing some of my strong lessons from the book. The event was time
well spent, as the additional insights I gleaned from everyone on the
panel, and other invitees, swelled up my information bank, no end.
Hence, I do not have any hesitation about recommending this book, not
just to the women, but for every man, who is looking for collaborations 
for change on significant levels.







Review panel for Sista Power

Snippets from Sista Power:

From
the beginning to the end of this 215-page book, there is a wealth of
information to be harvested about how we can jointly harness our
potentials to bring about much needed change in our society. Through out
the book from chapter one to eight- the last chapter, Bidemi espouses
and emphasizes the inherent power in joining forces to bring about the
change that we desire to see in our society. She explains the whats,
hows, whys, and hindrances to positive  collaborations. She shows that
when women collaborate in positive, authentic ways, the home, work
places, and society will be positively affected.







Collaboration in the book, is defined as, 'an empowering connection aimed at ensuring that all parties involved win.'
In collaborating for change, all parties involved, bring something
different to the table, and this is one strong point I came away with,
in Sista Power. On page 186, the raison d'etre for this book stands out
for me, ' Sista Power is not a book about how women will take over,
instead it is how women can come together to resolve conflicts, tell
stories, birth hope and nurture change in our world.'

One
other thing that particularly gripped me in chapter one, is the emphasis
on the fact that as women, we have been called to be  blessings not
just to our husbands but also to the extended family, and by extension,
the community as well. She accentuated a great fact that this generation
of mothers appear to have missed- the communal experience of child up
bringing. In the past, parents did not raise children in isolation, as a
child was seen as belonging to the community, and everyone looked out
for each others children. She points out that this was 'until we
started to erect fences.... Even as we erected those physical fences, we
unknowingly erected them in our hearts too....'  She rightly
pointed out that when women concentrate on their own children alone, 
and care nothing for the other woman's children, they tend to forget
that, 'they may end up in the same schools, work on the same jobs, or
may even end up falling in love with each other! When that happens, our
perceived enemies make it into our homes and we are taken by
surprise!' 







...I
loved the analogy of the midwife, which Bidemi uses copiously,
throughout the book, to stress the need for one to be mentored, or
assisted through the process of birthing dreams/goals in life. These
midwives could be physically present and in close proximity, or could be in the form of
books authored by people whom one admires; for Bidemi, Joyce Meyers has
been one of such long distance midwives, including Coach Anna McCoy, 
Founder, Woman Act Now , USA, who has become another sista collaborator
in the flesh. She teaches readers how to recognize their destiny
midwives by,'what they bring into your life, and how it aligns with God's word for your life.'





Panel Chairman, Prof. Joe-Ezigbo, unveiling Sista Power





She
asserts that, knowing what one's destiny is, makes the process of
recognizing who one's midwives are, much easier. She also points out that
in living our dreams and fulfilling our God-given destinies, we could also
become midwives to other people's dreams.  Using the story of David and Jonathan
in the bible, she drives home a powerful point-that of ascertaining what
role we must play in the destiny of other people with whom we come in contact with; are we meant to be
midwives, or Pharaohs, in the sense of pursuing our own personal agendas to the detriment of another person's? This is an important point to
consider in a world of dog-eat-dog, where many trample on, and
trivialize the dreams/vision of others without a second thought. I
quickly learned one thing from this. In my interactions with others, I
need to ascertain what my role in their lives and vision should be, so
as to be able to act accordingly. This illustration of the midwife
gripped me particularly, because it dawned on me that any birth, which
does not have a midwife in attendance, would definitely run into crises
because no one can give birth unassisted. She went on to talk about
making the right connection with your collaborators by finding
like-minded people. She delineated the guidelines of: right value
system, passion, and belief, as key factors that would help one to
identify like-minded collaborators.







Audrey Joe-Ezigbo

...for
collaborations to work, Bidemi emphasizes the need for collaborators to
be in agreement, and to be real. She had this to say, 'Any
collaborations that must work will need to be between real people; flesh
and blood people with human challenges and problems.' I nodded in agreement, when I read these lines, 'Look
around you today, and you will see a lot of counterfeiting. The cars
look bigger in the ads....Our print media replete with air brushed and
beautifully photo-shopped pictures...people are borrowing to continue to
live the life they only wish they had...the bigger your church building
the better, it seems, your church is...people come under so many layers
of facade that we cannot exactly say who they are anymore...she comes
to visit me in a borrowed car, wearing a borrowed dress, with a berry
without  black, wearing gold plated jewellery with no gold in them,
speaking in a diction I know for sure she doesn't possess, to tell me
about her million dollar business she doesn't own and invite me to her
mansion she has not paid for....Let's not even talk about the false
hair, false lashes...this is the extent of our faking.'



Broda power?





After
I finished reading Sista Power, I came away with a strong hunger to
unearth my like-minded collaborators, wherever they may be. There are
lots of salient lessons to learn from this simple, but powerful book. At
the end of the event, when the author's heart throb gave his vote of
thanks, I knew that I had to get several copies of this book for some
sista friends. Also, one blessed reader, stands a chance to win a free
copy on this blog. Simply answer this question: In what ways are you
collaborating with people, or someone, to birth dreams/visions that would
affect the next person positively?

For details of where and how you can get copies of Sista Power, please visit Bidemi's blog:http://bidemi70.blogspot.com/





Mr. Mark-Mordi giving the vote of thanks

SUNDRY ISSUES

Today , I have decided to talk about a few issues which have come about as a result of some disturbing trends that I  have observed. We were made to relate with other people and not exist in a vacuum or in isolation so, whatever we do, however we behave, would impact on others whether we like it or not; sometimes, one could hinder the smooth flow of this relationship by human complexities and idiosyncrasies. I was just pondering on these and wondering why some people behave the way they do. Please join me on the ride.



Dangerous Poverty

I was on my way home from the
office on Friday, and witnessed a scene which prompted this post.
There's this woman I sometimes buy plantain from, on my way home from
work; her makeshift stall is located near a popular supermarket along my
route, one that we jokingly call 'the Shop rite of our area' because of
the high level patronage it enjoys; everyday, she comes out faithfully
to market her wares by the roadside, with her young son, playing around
gleefully. I had stopped to buy a few items in a nearby shop opposite
where she sat, when I noticed a serious commotion as a crowd gathered
across the road, and stalled vehicular movement temporarily. I was just
coming out of the shop I was at, to get to my car, and I wondered what
the whole hullabaloo was about. A woman in the next shop, who had just
returned from the scene of trouble told me that the plantain seller had
been beaten up by her husband, but he had become involved in a near
fatal accident. Apparently, the plantain seller had received a phone
call from a woman, who claimed to be her husband's mistress, 
threatening that she would kill the plantain seller and her son, in
order to have her husband. The plantain seller responded that she would
poison her before she had the chance to do that, and warned the mistress
to stay away from her husband. Apparently, madam mistress called her
lover boy, the plantain seller's husband and told him that his wife had
made threats to her. Acting on this phone call from his mistress, the
plantain seller's husband, who is a commercial motorbike  rider, or
'okada man' as they are known here, stomped off to his wife's stall by
the roadside to confront her on her effrontery at daring to confront his
mistress. In an angry rage, he began to beat up his wife; the more
people begged him to leave her alone, the more furious he became. When
he finally decided to leave her alone, he drove into the road, against
traffic in anger, and rammed into an oncoming SUV!  He was injured, and
stunned, but did not die. The woman who was narrating the incident
declared that it was an instant judgement from God, because his wife had
been using her meager earnings to cater for their child without much
input from him, while he philandered about the place. She added, 'which
kin husband be that? Woman wey dey take care of your pikin, do
everything, you come disgrace am like that for road, na God judge am
o!'  She told me that the wife had been trying to call her family
members to report how her husband assaulted her on the road, when the
accident happened. I shook my head in pity and anger. I will not lie, my
full sympathies lay with the battered wife. As my driver drove away, I
looked across at the abusive husband, he was seated on the floor in a
corner, apparently dazed at the collision with the SUV, but he did not
seem to have been badly hurt, and in typical Nigerian fashion, a crowd
of on lookers, touting every opinion under the sun, milled around him.
His wife had not moved from her stool in her stall, and I could see her
calmly making calls on her phone.

How can a man, who is barely
able to make ends meet, be so foolish to keep a mistress? So, from the
little he makes as a commercial motorcyclist, he keeps a high
maintenance mistress, while his wife sweats it out to take care of the
home alone? I see not just physical lack at work here, but mental lack
as well, which is really the most dangerous poverty of all; no matter
how educated a man claims to be, if he  cannot reason rationally enough
to take informed decisions in life, that can better his lot, and move
him from point A, to Z, such a man is poor, and poverty of the mind is
the most dangerous of all; physical poverty is far more tolerable.



On hurling insults at people online....

There's
this young woman, probably in her early to mid thirties, who happens to
be an acquaintance, both on Facebook, and twitter, and whose only stock
in trade seems to be dishing out insults to her followers at every turn
of the head; its made me wonder why she even bothered to add friends to
her social network at all. Sadly enough, this does not apply to her
alone, as I have come across exchanges where insults are hurled from
every corner at fellow contributors, and to my dismay, most of the
people doing the verbal bashing range from teenagers to people in their
twenties or older. I know some really popular blogs where insulting
people seems to be the unwritten job description. Some people have this
mistaken notion that, because the internet is a virtual world, they can
hide behind a computer, a phone, Ipad, or whatever electronic devices
there are using, to unnecessarily insult anyone who dares to voice an
opinion which is contrary to theirs. It's also a common thing on BB
personal messages, which seems to have turned into a psychologist's
couch, to see all manners of abuses and insults in the name of updates.
It irks me because, it's either you invited someone to your bbm, or they
invited you; are the abuses meant for someone on your bbm list, or
what? If someone makes you that angry, why not simple press the 'delete'
button? Really, befriending someone on social media, is not by force,
but if you are gracious enough to add someone to your list of friends,
then why do you abuse them for every opinion they express?  It is
certain that people on your contact list on whatever social media
platform you are engaged in, will offend you; methinks there are more
decent ways of disagreeing with the opinion of others without being
disagreeable. Even if you hurl insults anonymously, be sure that it
could catch up with you one day; no matter how tempted you are to insult
someone in the virtual world, try and chose the path of honor and be
decent about it. It does not reduce you in any way.



Counterfeiting Spree.

We
live in an age where a lot of people feel that they need to act in a
certain way, affect an accent that was acquired merely by seeing off a
relative or friend to the airport, dress in a certain way, and carry
ridiculously expensive accessories, in order to be seen to have arrived.
It is a jet age, and people are in a hurry to belong to certain social
circles, where ostentatiousness seems to be the only requirement for
admittance. So many people are going about masking their insecurities
with a cloak of arrogance; an air of 'having-it-all.' This craze to
receive the validation of other people by displaying opulence would have
been so laughable, if it was not so ridiculous. We live in an age where
a lot of people do not realize that there is a process which leads to
the glory; a cross which leads to the crown; tests, which lead to the
testimonies. I agree that there are many, who were born with diamond
spoons and have never had to sweat to acquire material things, but it
irks me when I see people who are so unreal in their relationships with
others, who end up biting more than they can chew. They live a borrowed
life-the car is borrowed, the designer bag is borrowed, the jewelries
are borrowed, the cars they are posing in front of, or even driving, are
borrowed, and if you look closely enough, their eyes, lashes, bum, or
hair, could have been borrowed as well. I have so much respect for
people who dare to be themselves, no matter how tempted they are to
feign to be someone they are not. If you cannot afford something, you
do not have to borrow, steal, or pretend to impress others.  It is not a
crime  to lack, but stealing or passing off other people's possessions
as yours, and living way beyond your means is. I sincerely believe that
whatever you do not have now, you can have tomorrow, if you work hard
and trust God. There is no point cutting short the process to your
making by a counterfeit life. You will have genuine friends and
relationships, when you are genuine/authentic yourself.



How
about you, what are some of your pet peeves? How can we get these out
of the way in order to relate with others authentically? What are some things you feel are relationships enhancers, or destroyers?

TEMITOPE: LIVING MY DREAM.

Ojo Temitope Dorcas has lots of spunk and drive; she does not believe in whining over challenges, nor is she easily fazed by them. Her venture into the Creative Arts and Fashion industry was born out of a childhood love for fashion/creative arts, and a burning desire to improve on the low quality services that she was getting from dressmakers, whenever she needed to have an outfit made for an occasion that she needed to attend. She got so tired of having to sit with a dressmaker from start to finish in order to ensure that she got the  exact quality she wanted, that she announced to her mother, that she wanted to pursue her interest for fashion. This decision did not meet with much resistance; her parents supported her all the way.







She enrolled at Winners Creation in the  Adelabu area of Surulere in Lagos State, where she learned fashion designing and hats making.  Whilst at Winners Creation, she did a part time program in Accounting at the Moshood Abiola Polytechnic, and also acquired a certificate in baking Technology from the Yaba Polytechnic, as well. Temitope further honed her skills in cake making, outdoor catering, and decorations at Sedu Collections in Aguda, Surulere with the sole aim of making her shop a one stop center for events planning, and wedding ceremonies.  Temitope, a 32 year old woman from Ogbomoso in Oyo state of Nigeria,  decided to explore her passion instead of folding her arms and waiting for a job; she dared to venture into the murky business terrain to become an employer of labor herself.



The scope of her business includes the making of: ankara wallets, ankara footwear of all types including: slippers, wedges, sandals, etc,  ankara bags, ankara belts, ankara hair pieces/brooches, ankara earrings, ankara note books and ankara jeans. She also gives professional advice on patterns,designs and matching
materials that may be used for those unique occasions that one wants to turn out so well. She started out with the business name, Royal Creation, in 2004, and in 2012, changed the name to, TopRoyal Creations. Let's get to know more about Temitope. 



Q. How did it all begin?





A. After
my graduation from Winners Creation, I began to have patronage from lots of people; due to the large number of clients I was providing services for; my parents complained that my business was taking up too much space at home. I had clients from Kaduna, Abuja, and other parts of the country. 
So, they encouraged and assisted me in securing an office space at Ijesha Road.





Q. How did the love for fashion and the Arts come about?

A.  Fashion/Arts have always been my 
dream from childhood and I had the flair for it. In my secondary school days, I used to
design birthday cards, draw, and carry out all sorts of creative activities. In
those days, I'd baked a cake, but forget to add a vital ingredient, e.g baking powder, which would made the cake unpalatable to my family members and it would, often times than not, end up in the
dust bin. However, I believe in continuous self improvement and was constantly working on improving my skills. I learned to make Kampala(adire dress), in junior secondary one, amongst many other things.  Initially I made only dresses with bags for clients, but after some time,
clients began to demand for shoes that would match their out fits. I got someone to help me in making shoes, but when he became unreliable, I was pushed to go and learn how to make the shoes and bags myself, in Ikeja.





 Q. Share the exciting moments.



A.  Someone who admired my designs,  told a
cousin who worked at GQ Ikoyi, on Queen’s drive, about me. The cousin
came to see me, and expressed her disappointment with seamstresses. I promised her that,  I would make her happy and  to the glory of God, when I delivered her clothes, she was so happy- I could read it in her face. She introduced me to her colleagues, who were mostly whites. One of them gave me a fabric that she
would be taking to Poland to sew for her, and also took me to an
exhibition at the German Cultural Center in Victoria Island. She wore one of my designs to the exhibition, and this got me more clients,  because many loved the attire on her. I'm always happy when my clients appreciate my good work; this has been the source of my joy and motivation.





Q. What challenges have you faced in this business?

 A. The
major challenge I have is that of quality staff to meet the demands of my growing clientele. 
I keep training staff to assist  me in meeting my
clients demands, but in the long run, those I train later leave and start
up their own businesses. So I have to work tirelessly in order not to disappoint my
clients. Secondly, some clients want cheap services, but due to the
quality of materials that I use for my designs, I cannot afford to make my prices as low as they would have hoped for. Thus, some clients end up leaving to patronize other people who may be cheaper, but whose fabrics are of lower quality and not durable. 





Tope with a client





Q. How do you source your clients

A. Most of the clients I've had, came through referrals. My work advertises me and my clients have really being appreciative of my designs- especially the ankara shoes and bags.



Q. Share your thoughts on unemployment and crime rate.

A. Most
people are unemployed presently because they are neither willing to explore their creativity, nor humble enough to learn. They fail to realize that you don’t need a huge capital to
start business. You can

start with what you have.

-You must always stoop low to conquer

-You must always seek God on any thing you want to venture into because, God should come first.

Those who engage in crime because of unemployment don’t have a genuine
excuse. They should learn to use the knowledge/talent they have to make a
difference.



Q.If you were not doing this, what would you be doing now?

A. There is a high probability that I would be among the unemployed Nigerian youths searching for a job.



Q. Where do you see yourself in 5-10yrs time?

A. i. Contributing my own quota towards building up the Nigerian youth.

ii. Organizing exhibitions to showcase our Nigerian cultural wear.

iii. Making Non-Nigerians take an interest in our cultural wear.

iv. Setting up a creative fashion school.



Q. Who are your role models? A. Opral Benson and Folorunsho Alakija



Q. Guiding principle/philosophy

A. Be focused (Never relent or stop until you achieve your goals).



Q. Favorite quote

A. There is nothing impossible with God.

(God will do every thing at His own appointment time).

Life, and its seasons

As I listened to the soul stirring lines from the theme song which my strategy team put together for my first novel, Burning Hurt,  as we brainstormed ideas for the first public presentation of the book coming up soon, I felt like weeping as I pondered at how far God has brought me, even as the vision for the book unfolds everyday. I am realizing powerfully every day, that my raison d'etre for writing that book goes beyond a mere need to entertain, to a desire to cause life transformation, paradigm shifts, and better/informed decision making processes. I am digressing a bit because this post is not about Burning Hurt, at least not today. In the meantime, please enjoy the theme song on this You Tube link, and share your views: http://bit.ly/Yba05o. 






One of the things that I have come to learn about life is that, it
is punctuated by seasons.  My life
certainly has gone through seasons of growth, as well as dormancy, and in each
season of my life, I have had to accept change, grow, and learn its
accompanying lessons. Sometimes, I accepted willingly, sometimes not so
willingly. When God wants to move you to the next level of your life, you will
experience lots of pressure and challenges at every change curve which, if well
embraced, takes you to the next phase of your life. As a newly wedded woman,
contrary to our plans to wait for two years before having a baby, I found
myself pregnant in the first month of the marriage, lol. Naive as I was, and
incredible as it sounds, I knew nothing about birth control because I was not
sexually active before marriage; before I could learn, in order to keep
to the two year plan to wait after marriage, I was already pregnant! So, I was
thrust into motherhood with a bang! As a new mother, I found myself having to
experience a long season-in my estimation, of having to stay at home with
really young babies because hubby and I had mutually agreed that we did not
just want to throw the children on a nanny and leave their upbringing to them.
In those days, my young babies and maid were my companions during the day.
Finances were pretty tight in those days but we managed and God kept us. On the days we could afford a feast fit for kings, we ate happily, and on days we could only afford the barest, we still ate happily. Growing
up, I was not given to hungering after things that I could not afford; I have learned
to take things, one day at a time, and be content with what I do have, knowing that, the things I cannot afford today, I can have tomorrow; if tomorrow comes, and I still can't have it, then God did not intend it to be mine. Do not get me wrong, I had aspirations to greatness, and believed that God will cause things to turn around when the time came, even as we worked towards achieving our goals in life, but I was not going to make myself miserable and unhappy today over the things I could not yet afford. We had our fair share of advice from well
meaning close relatives and others about why I should go out and find a job and
at a point, it began to bother me. I allowed their unsolicited advice to pierce
through and I began to whine to hubby that I felt I was not contributing
anything-what with my second class upper degree in English, and my writing
skills, plus my aspirations, I felt I could do more, be more.  As at that time, I was doing freelance
contributions to some publications, for which I got paid, but to me, the money
was peanuts, lol. I read widely and voraciously in that season which I felt
was like a dormant one in my growth process. I thank God for giving me a man
who knows how to help me get things back in perspective when I begin to get
irrational, because he pointed out that this was just a season in my life, and
that it was something we had mutually agreed on, hence, what people were saying
about my not finding a job outside the house should not bother me. It did not
lower my worth in God’s eyes, nor his for that matter. He believed in me, and believed that I was going somewhere to happen, when the time came. It was difficult,
because, my natural motivation urged me to be up, out and away, but my primary
responsibilities in those early years of marriage and family determined that season
of my life. I looked at the Bible and saw this sage advice in Ecclesiastes,
"To everything there is a season" (Eccl. 3:1). Naturally, life
progresses from rainy, to dry, harmattan seasons, and in our lives, too, there
is a progression of change from one season to another. As surely as seasons
direct the course of nature, so they direct the courses of our lives. I
learned, in that season of my life to accept where I was, and be content. I
came out of that season with a  lesson  emblazoned powerfully in my heart that, no
time spent, nurturing children, is ever wasted, but rather, it is an eternal
investment, which is not quantifiable in financial terms. This understanding, brought me peace, and as the apostle, Paul
said, "For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content"
(Phil. 4:11). I  learned to cooperate with this season of life, and I became less anxious or frustrated.

In our marriage, we also moved from a season where we were still
getting to know more about each other, with its teething problems, to a season
of greater understanding. Just as I
became pregnant with an unexpected 4th pregnancy, after we had
thought our third baby would be the last, my hubby felt a strong leading to resign from paid employment. I was worried because, we had two children in school, I was now
working as staff writer with a popular women’s magazine trying to develop
myself further, and I wondered at God’s timing. It was like, exchanging certainty for uncertainty. Well, after a while of inner doubts and struggles, I decided to trust God
along with hubby and see what would unfold. That was another trying season of
our lives, a season in which I lost the baby at 8 months after going into labor prematurely, almost bleeding to death; we experienced trouble from
within and without, and all sorts, but again, I realized that I needed to calm down, and
trust God alongside the priest of my home, and when I ceased from my own
internal struggles, God took over. God caused a turnaround in the fledgling
business and the little which we entrusted Him with, He breathed life upon it
and before our eyes, we saw the business unfold and grow. From a bedroom office,
we got an external office and began to expand. That story is a true attestation
to the fact that God honors His word and can lift any man from the dunghills
of life, to sit among the princes of His people. Physically, seasons are bound
to occur-you cannot stop that, and time, measured in years, is the director of
our ever changing paths in life from when we are very little, to when we edge
closer to immortality and ever so slowly, our inexperience and naivety about
life receives a stamp of experience, which results in maturity.  I am now in a season whereby I work with hubby in the business and I am also evolving as I understand
more, what God wants me to do. Each day, the picture becomes clearer. I have
not arrived, because God is still taking me from trivia, which can be so
tiring, but necessary as one brings up young children, builds a home, and
career, to a place of understanding of just how I can be God’s woman. I have
learned that, with each season, my responsibilities change, and I am learning to
flow along with each change, keeping in view the harvest that would happen in
seasons to come.

I have learned to embrace the change which each season of life
brings knowing that my present priorities will change and this season will
pass. I understand that I am a WIP (work in progress) and that everyone is in a
differing stage of development, hence, I am not in competition with anyone
because we are not all meant to produce similar crops. I have learned to genuinely celebrate the successes of other people, because I have a deep understanding that our paths in life differ, and I also trust that as I celebrate others, I will be celebrated some day as well. Hence, I am not under pressure to be someone else- I am myself, and I am comfortable in my own skin. Note, however, that,
your seasons may be determined by a force external to you, but the onus is on
you to determine just what your reaction to your season will be. God determines
our season; we are to tend what has been planted in that season. I am making
full use of this season of my life, where I am learning how to be the kind of
wife, that God designed me to be, where my children are yet to fly the nest,
where my first child is about to enter into the secondary school, where we are building and trusting God to establish our business not just for today, but for posterity, where I am
learning in order to come into my own as a writer, and above all, where I am
learning how I can be God’s woman and impact my world in a way that brings Him honor. I do not bother my head with the futility of wishing that I was someone
else, somewhere else and doing something else because God made me the way He
did, in order to use me in a way which best suits His purposes. That, I am
finding out with clarity each day.




 What season of life are you in, and what are you doing in order to make the most of it, and learn the lessons that it has to offer? Are the seasons we consider dormant, truly dormant, or, are there lessons to be garnered, even in these seemingly 'dormant' seasons of life?  Do share yours.

THE BUCK STOPS HERE.

 I had always prided myself on the fact that I was such an independent woman, who did not need any man to be, or do what I wanted to do. In those days before I got married, I was a fire spitting feminist and even explored the subject of feminism in the writings of some great female novelists, as my project in the University. I was also active in the youth fellowship group of my church back then, and any 'brother' who crossed my path, knew that I was not a sister to be toyed with, as I made sure that I let them know that I did not suffer fools gladly, lol. Then I met my husband and he proposed and I accepted. After a while of courting, my fiance then, now husband, called me one day, and asked me, 'do you know what it means to submit in marriage? What do you think submission means? I did not answer the question directly, as I began to tell him all the things submission was not. I told him that submission did not mean 'subjection or slavery' and all the definitions I could think of/ remember. He did not seem to be convinced that I knew what submission meant, despite my attempt to convince him that I did. He felt that I strongly believed in my independence as a lot of brothers had expressed doubt about my ability to be submissive as a wife because of my radical, no-nonsense- stance. A few outrightly asked him  how he got me to accept his marriage proposal as I acted so tough, lol. However, instead of this being a deterrent, it spurred him on a mission of loving this tough, independent sister, into submission and after 10years, I must admit, I have been loved to total submission, lol.  This made me decide to look closely into the subject of submission in marriage. I began to read books on marriage, and looked into my bible to understand what it truly means to be submissive in marriage.  The more I studied the word, the more it made demands on me to re-examine my views in the light of Scriptures and it clicked eventually that independence, as we know it, and marriage, do not go together  as marriage is an interdependent relationship.  Kathy Escobar explains this concept more: http://kathyescobar.com/2010/08/04/codependence-independence-interdependence/ . I discovered that when I obey God and submit to my husband, he submits to me as well and this mutual submission liberates us both. Ephesians 5:21 says,

 
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Mutual submission is God's blue print for a happy home. In over 10 years of marriage, I have come to realize that when one partner insists on having their way all the time, the marriage relationship begins to fall apart. Throughout Scripture, we see the concept of submission.

 In 1
Corinthians 16:16, we're told to "submit to everyone who joins in the
work" of serving others. Hebrews 13:17 says, "Obey your leaders and
submit to their authority." First Peter 2:13 says, "Submit yourselves
for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among man." First
Peter 5:5 says, "Be submissive to those who are older." God created Eve as a help meet for Adam, and we find  that the Old Testament uses the word 'helper'  to describe someone of strength, which tells me that Eve sure had a lot going for her. She completed/complemented Adam. They could both benefit from what each had to offer by mutually submitting to each other. Instances of mutual submission can be seen in the home when a wife submits to her husband by respecting and obeying him (Ephesians 5:21-6:4), the husband submits to his wife by sacrificially loving her, and the children submit to their parents by obeying and honoring them, and the parents submit to their children by spiritually nurturing them. Slaves and Masters as well, are to submit to one another, because we all serve God.

When there is mutual submission in the home, order and stability results and each person is not just doing his own thing. Lack of order in the home is a sure recipe for disaster. Too often,  though, some men, in a futile attempt to mask their insecurities, insist on having their own way and that is when submission becomes a weapon of slavery.  God did not say,  "Make your wives submit. Assert
your authority as head of the house. Show who's boss." Instead,
Ephesians 5:15 tells men to, "Love your wives, just as Christ loved the
church and gave Himself up for her." To do that,  one must  must die to self and in dying to self, you can enjoy the special person your wife/husband is to you, and beyond that, your relationship with her/him, as well as with God is honored. (1 Peter 3:7).

As a wife, I have learned that my husband is the head of our home, not because he is a superior being, but because God has given him this responsibility and I do my bit to help and encourage him to become God's man. I will help him to make decisions, but will not make them for him.

This leads me to the topic of discourse today, which was generated by a Facebook post put up by  Anthony's Words of Wisdom For Women





QUESTION:


In my last question about marriage and who makes the FINAL decision, I
am getting answers like Both, Compromise, Discuss it, What's best for
the family and things like these. They sound good but if a husband and a
wife sit down, talk about it, discuss it, weighs the pros and cons and
STILL CAN'T COME UP WITH A COMPROMISE but a decision HAS TO BE MADE, who
makes that final decision?

Put yourself in this situation
before you answer. People are saying BOTH have to agree. NO THEY DON'T.
We are talking about real life and not all the times will you agree.
Remember, one person MAY NOT LIKE the final decision but it HAS TO BE
MADE. Again, who makes that decision?



I have posted the question exactly as I saw it on Facebook and would welcome your thoughts on this. Have a blessed week ahead people.

This whole Judging matter.

This is a topic which I am approaching with caution and some trepidation as it is a touchy subject for a lot of people. In the past few days, I have heard  so many people bandy the word, 'do not judge around'  so much, for every little opinion one expresses,  that I had to take time out to look into the word of God for direction about this whole judging matter. Recently, some friends and I, were sharing our thoughts and opinions on a BlackBerry broadcast that had gone viral. Apparently, a woman had made her husband pay rent on their home for 10 years, with yearly increases, all duly collected by an appointed agent, not knowing that the house belonged to her. The man eventually found out after 10 years! In the course of trying to analyze if she had been right to conceal such an important information from her  husband for 10 whole years or not, some people tried to justify her actions by saying that she probably had a good reason to hide the information, that the husband was probably an irresponsible man, who had children all over the place, and that the wife  only did that for security purposes; others argued that it was deceitful as the Scriptures advocated oneness/transparency in marriage. Some of the women said that  those that were saying that the woman had erred by concealing information, were sitting in judgement over her, as she probably had good reason to do what she did. I decided to really look at the word, 'judge' and find out what it means, and what the Bible has to say about it. Do we have the right to judge in any way? Please read patiently along. The ancient Hebrew and Greek words translated as “judge” covered not
merely assessing or evaluating, but “to assume power over,” “to call to
account,” “to judge as if in a courtroom,” “to sentence,” “to arraign,”
and even “to condemn.”  

Webster's dictionary defines the act of judging as:

"to form an opinion
about, through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises."

Therefore, the act of judging is merely the process of evaluation/assessment that
people naturally employ everyday to determine what is true. We make snap judgements everyday with regards to, what we should wear each day, taking into consideration the weather or occasion, we judge the credibility of others and decide if we want to deal with them or not, we judge if a school is right or wrong for a child,  we mediate in quarrels between our children or friends, and evaluate what went wrong, and so on. For us as humans, the objective of our judgement, should be to ascertain what went wrong, with the aim of correction. Our focus is on the action that necessitated the judgement in the first place. However, as human beings, there is a real danger of making judgements based on our perceptions, motives, and understandings alone, which limits our judgement and sometimes makes it subjective. This explains why two people could draw different conclusions from the same situation. Hence, the big question under-girding the 'thou shall not judge stance' remains, 'What makes you think your judgements are objective and sure, and is not rooted in your human opinion? So, do we have the right to judge?

YES...

Yes! We  can judge others. In Zechariah 3:7, the authority to judge has been given to those who obey God. It 

states: 

 

"Thus saith the LORD of hosts; If thou wilt walk in my ways,

and if thou wilt keep my charge, then thou shalt also judge my

house, and shalt also keep my courts, and I will give thee places

to walk among these that stand by." 

Some buzz words that others will most likely throw at you, are: Who are you to
judge? Judge not lest you be judged,  show tolerance. In our society, the, 'thou shall not judge' admonition, is often virtually used as a gag order over those who dare to 
speak out against popular and accepted world practices which contradict God's word. This admonition is also bandied around by Christians  as well when questionable doctrines/practices in church are examined. When people do as they like, without any checks in place, there is bound to be lawlessness-which is what the devil wants. You are not judging when you voice your opinion; everyone is entitled to an opinion. There is a thin line between voicing an opinion and judging, but the two should not be confused because there are different things. Judgement, as a legal  parlance, is a final action after a series of hearings. It is usually a final step in the legal process, and not the first step; before judgement, there are series of warnings. The Bible does let us know that we can judge those within the church.  1 Cor 5:9 says:

 "What business is it of yours to judge the heathen, God will do that. It is our business to judge those inside the church."

Let us see an example of how sexual immorality was judged in the church. 1
Cor 5:11-13  states:

 "But now I am writing you that you must not associate
with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or
greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a
man do not even eat." 12 "What business is it of mine to judge
those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will
judge those outside. Expel the wicked man from among you." NIV

In the execution of Judgement, action is required. Mere talk, or opinion does not suffice.

Rev
2:20 "Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman
Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess. By her teaching she misleads my
servants into sexual immorality..." NIV

From these scriptures, you can see an instance of  a sin -sexual immorality- and how judgement was supposed to be executed. The sin of sexual immorality was totally not acceptable, and the sexually immoral, was to be put out of the church ; but if you speak out against someone who has committed a sexual sin, for instance, and say that what the person did is not good, some  mouth 'thou shalt be tolerant and
not judge' at you.

1 Cor 6:2-5 says:

"Do you not know that the saints will
judge the world? And if the world will be judged by you, are you
unworthy to judge the smallest matters? 3 Do you not know that we shall
judge angels? How much more, things that pertain to this life? 4 If then
you have judgments concerning things pertaining to this life, do you
appoint those who are least esteemed by the church to judge? 5 I say
this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you,
not even one, who will be able to judge between his brethren?" NKJV

 Within the church, we have the right to judge sin, but outside the church, we are to warn the world about right and wrong and its consequences; warning someone about the consequences of sin, is not judgement.  It is even recorded in the Bible that there are instances where it is even necessary to name those who are in error as a safeguard for others whom they would have influenced negatively.

 "But shun profane and vain babblings:
for they will increase unto more ungodliness. And their word will
eat as doth a canker: of whom is Hymenaeus and Philetus; Who concerning
the truth have erred, saying that the resurrection is past already:
and overthrow the faith of some." II
Timothy 2:16-Also I Timothy 1:19-20; I Timothy 5:20-21; II Timothy
4:10; Galatians 2: 11-14; II Timothy 4: 14-15; III John 1:9

Just
as God is a righteous judge, Christians are expected to show
discrimination and judgment in matters of His concerns. Ezra 7:25, shows the two key roles that judges are to perform: to judge those who know the law; to teach the law to
those who do not know it.  It is our
responsibility, duty, and obligation to judge. We should judge all
wrongs, condemn sins(the act), and take a stand. Christians should not fear
to oppose injustice, immorality, and all vice. When you speak out against unpopular government policies for instance, you are judging, when traffic officials wrongly assault an innocent person on the road, and you speak out against it, you are judging, etc. We extend God's grace and Mercy to a brother or sister, who is clearly in the wrong, when we provide the correction they need.This gives them a chance to repent of the wrong and helps others as well. If we see a brother or sister do wrong and refuse to say anything because we do not want to 'judge,' we demonstrate a lack of love because that wrong could eventually lead them away from the faith.  God uses our fellowship with each other as one of the safeguards against drifting from the faith. Hence, we owe it to each other as Christians to judge ungodly behavior.



NO...

When Jesus told us not to judge in Matthew 7:1, He was warning against hypocritical judgement. Matthew 7:2-5
declares,

"For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged,
and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you
look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention
to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me
take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in
your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye,
and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's
eye."

 Jesus seriously forbade hypocritical, self-righteous
judgments of others.  We should not set ourselves up as moral superiors to every other person by saying things like, "You aborted your baby, therefore you are evil, and will go to hell," or, "you quarreled with your friend, therefore you are not fit to be in church" and other related pronouncements. You attempt to make yourself equal with God, when you set yourself up as the better christian than the person you have condemned as an evil sinner. God wants us to love and forgive others, and not  condemn them by the manner in which we judge. Hence, in judging, you must not do it in such a manner/attitude that condemns the guilty person and make them feel totally hopeless and useless-that is cruelty. Do not make it look as if you are the only person that God loves most, of everybody in the whole wide universe. God loves every other person, and loves them as much as He loves you.

Matthew 7:2-5, 
contains a clear warning about judging someone's sin, when you are doing worse things yourself.  In other words, if we are guilty of a particular sin, but hound others about theirs, without first examining ourselves, this kind of judging is hypocritical. This is in line with

Paul's advice in I Corinthians 11:31-32 that we should judge ourselves

first so that we will not be judged.  We are to confront sin in others, lovingly and respectfully. Matthew 18:15-17. 
This is not judging. Your goal is to bring about repentance. James 5:20 and restoration to the fold. The Bible says that we should speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15, and proclaim what God's Word says about sin. 2 Timothy 4:2 contains this instruction,

"Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of
season; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful
instruction."

In deciding to agree with God in calling sin, that which He calls sin, we should not use our personal opinions as the yardstick for our pronouncements. It should be based on the truth of God's word, like Jesus said in John 5:30:

 "I can

of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment

is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father

which hath sent me."

John 8:15-16 Jesus asserts that true judgements are those which emanate from God.

"Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man.

And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but

I and the Father that sent me."

In order for us to judge right, we must be submitted to God and this can only happen when we yield ourselves to the Holy Spirit . 1 Corinthians 2:15 states:

 "But he that is spiritual
judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man."

Finally, it is not our place to judge anyone's eternal destiny. That is for God alone to determine. We are to judge truth in ourselves, in others, and doctrinal believes, based on the word of God, but the consequences belong to God to enforce, which is, justification for those who are right, and condemnation for those who are wicked. Hence, it is not our place to condemn anybody. I Kings 8:32; II

Chronicles 6:23, 1 Corinthians 4:3-5 butresses this:

3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God." NIV

   In summary, as Christians, it is allowed for us to "judge" sin, but it is not our place to judge the motives of others, as it is God alone who knows the motive of a man, but we can judge the actions of others which clearly violate scriptural stipulations. Always, we must judge within the parameters that I have shared above:

-in love

-with respect

-without hypocrisy

-not after the flesh or human opinion 

-with the goal of bringing about repentance/restoration to fellowship,

-presenting our Lord Jesus Christ, as the model/ solution for sin and its consequences. John 14:6.

-You must also be yielded to the Spirit of God

-you must not judge a person's eternal destiny.

-you must not judge motives

At all times, model Christ to others and not your own self-righteousness such that the other person finds God in the midst of their pain and wrong.

Your thoughts for, or against, are fully welcomed, as we are continuously learning from one another, but back up your answers with supporting scriptures. Thank you and hit gently.

HURRAY!!! ANOTHER 365 DAYS JUST ROLLED BY AGAIN.

In the beginning...my baby look, lol


On the 16th of January, on Wednesday to be precised, I celebrated another birthday; I have so many reasons to celebrate and thank God for this beautiful gift of life, and beautiful family/friends to share it with, beautiful opportunities, and wisdom to grasp them.



My breathtaking cake




Mine, was I wowed!
















I had not really planned anything for the day, just thought, I'd cook something and just invite a few people over to the house, but the day turned out much better than I had anticipated. First of all, hubby, who has been in school all week, for an intensive Management program that he is running at the Lagos Business School, surprised me with the largest birthday cake ever. Usually, I sleep late as I love to surf the net or read at night, and as 12am I was not asleep, just pinging away on my phone and responding to the birthday messages that had begun to trickle in. Hubby kept excusing himself to go downstairs in the guise of going to get one thing or the other.





Gifts galore


Then finally, he came and asked me to come downstairs with him after he finished questioning me about my goals/aspirations for the year. I stood up from the bed a bit reluctantly 'cos I was kind of tired and ready to sleep, but I was curious *winking. My hubby is a master at planning surprises, though I beat him to it last year when I planned a surprise 40th birthday that shook him to the depths-story for another day, sha. Okay, I followed him and as we began to negotiate the staircase, I saw a lit candle on the stairs,  and knew that something was about to happen, hehehehhe; then he picked up the candle which was inside a beautiful red glass cup and handed it to me to hold and covered my eyes all the way downstairs, whispering to me to 'trust me and just follow my directions' and yours truly shut her eyes real tight. When we were downstairs, he placed a box in my hands and asked me to open, without turning around-two massive boxes to be precised. When I opened them, I saw some really exotic perfume sets, one was a Perry Ellis collection, the other, was Lola by Marc Jacobs. I tried to maintain and form control, then he asked me to turn around slowly, and I willingly obeyed. When I had turned 360 degrees round, I saw the largest, and most exotic cake I have ever seen-and I'm sticking to that story o, lol, on the dining table.





The many faces of moi




My love








With my dear friend at Marco Polo




We had a blast




I was stunned and did not recover for some minutes, then I recovered, hehehehehehe-the rest, you can feel the gaps. Everyone in the house, except the children who were sleeping already, I woke up to come and see the cake, but they could only admire o, no cutting until in the morning. Let me try and shorten the gist as I did not plan for a long post.





I had fun!!!




A few friends and I went for lunch at Marco Polo, a Chinese restaurant in the Victoria Island, then I came home and in the evening, I continued part two of the celebration with my family and a few of our office staff that came around. Wait o, the baker, sent a second 16 inches cake to me, FOC because hubby was upset that he had not made the cake as big as he had wanted it, considering what he charged for it. * Whispering* thank God he did not tell me o before paying, else, I would have collected the money and bought a smaller/cheaper cake for myself *covers face. I hope hubby does not read this, lol.





My children were enthralled.






At Marco Polo with friends.





We had a great time.


All in all, I had fun on Wednesday and just basked in the warmth, gifts, and prayers on my day. I pray that God empowers all my dreams to fruition this year and that I will not be frustrated in seeking to give expression to my gifts/talents. I choose to believe more in me, this year and learn to affirm myself more. By the way, please pardon the unprofessional pictures- we were all photographers that day, clicking away on our phones, with fun as the keyword; please feel free to stop at mine for a piece of the cake o, before you accuse me of selfishness, lol. God bless you all.

ON HOME TURF! LIFE LESSONS -2

I am concluding this topic with these selections, which have been my Facebook status updates from 2010. Please let me know which particular one(s), strike you and why. It will help me in developing some of the thoughts further as I intend to come up with a book on life lessons which I am still juggling about in my head, lol. God bless you all.



1: Often tımes, our decısıons, actıons, and
reactıons are largely drıven by bandwagon motıvatıons. We are afraıd to
take a stand for what we truly belıef because we want to be accepted by
others. Thıs year, dare to be yourself. Dare to step away from the
bandwagon effect and watch your lıfe soar. You wıll attract genuıne
relatıonshıps as you dare to be yourself whıle workıng on your areas of
weaknesses. Thınk about thıs.





2: As prıests/custodıans of God's word, make your
priesthood effective in whatever sector you find yourself, especially at home.
That is where ıt all starts. A chrıstıanıty that does not affect you fırst
of all, then your husband/wıfe, chıldren,  and extended famıly, before it does the world,
ıs merely a sanctımonıous facade of pıety-a show! Hypocrısy. No more,
no less! You must be the fırst practıtıoner/belıever of that whıch you
teach/advocate.  Like a friend once wrote: If your christianity does not work at home DON'T EXPORT IT.











3: Hypocrisy is when there's a disconnect between
what you really believe on the inside/who you really are, and the
facade you present on the outside for people to see. All it takes for
your phony facade to emerge is a little tweak from people and time.You can't
hide character inconsistencies for too long. Selah.











  4: No matter how much you know it in your head,
and for how long, that human beings will always fail you at some point or
the other, it is always a sobering moment when someone you thought you
could rely on, shows you their humanity by failing you. The truth is
that subconsciously, there are people on our list whom we tick,
'reliable' but the reality is that, they are human, and can fail you. Do
not get bitter about their failure, nor take it personal. Grasp the
lessons you need to learn, and move on, understanding that the only One
who can never fail is God. Remember that you also fail people.











5: Do not dignify people who try to belittle you with your time and attention! Run away from people who belittle you. It's
easy to spot these type of people because whenever you interact with them,
you leave with feelings of inadequacy and discouragement, instead of feeling
inspired and encouraged to be the best you can be. Positive reinforcement
is like refreshing dew to the soul, while negative reinforcement crushes
the soul. Seek out friendships and relationships that bring out the best in
you!











6:  Just as adversıty reveals true frıends,
success also unveıls them as well. Genuıne frıends wıll celebrate your
success and encourage you to reach for your stars ın every way they can.
Fake ones wıll feel threatened and stay away, pretendıng not to notıce.
If you check, and the cool off ıs not occasıoned by prıde on your part and
you have genuınely trıed to reach out, just let ıt go and let them
be -the relationshipshp was only meant to survıve for a season.











7. Life has taught me that in dealing with couples,
especially married couples who share a strong bond of love and unity, you
must accord both equal respect and not use a divide-n-rule method of
approaching your relationship with them, else it will back fire on you. If you
show the man respect, do same to his wife and vice versa. I've seen too
many people hold a man in high esteem, but treat his wife like
thrash. Not wise at all.



8: To all my single sisters, before you make that
all-important decision to marry that man, you must realize that, not
only are you choosing your life's companion, but a father for your
unborn children. Look at the man who is proposing-would you want your
kids to be like him/share the same values and principles for life? If
the answer to all the questions are positive, you may take the step
after prayerful considerations.



9: No matter how grown up one is, one can
never out grow being pampered by one's parents. 



10: Even when someone has done wrong, in dealing with  the situation, never ever condemn the person. Always condemn the act and be mindful of the fact that, God loves the sinner, but hates the sin.



11.  Trust is a biggie in any relationship and when we do anything to tamper with it, it would require lots of time and effort to build back.







12. No matter how we seek to justify our wrong decisions, the fact remains that, there are always better, positive, humane and more godly options available, if only we can think deep enough.

ON HOME TURF! LIFE LESSONS

Mum and the children




At the airport in Uyo



Moi

Hey, friends, it's good to be back. I have not posted anything in a while because I traveled back home to Akwa Ibom, with my children in December for a two weeks visit to my parents, who live in Uyo; we have not seen them in a while and it was fun spending time with them and being pampered a bit. Lol. We had lots of fun, as we visited family and old friends, and generally hung out at the places of interests that are fast dotting the landscape of the fast developing city. I did not go with my lap top, and the galaxy tab I took with me, which was internet enabled, did not browse as well as I expected due to poor internet receptivity for the particular network that I used,  in the estate where my folk live. It was frustratingly slow. I decided to take the well deserved rest, and just enjoy myself until I returned. So, here am I, back on home turf, excited and ready to face the new year. I thank all of you for your comments/contributions in the past year; I do not take them for granted and I want to specifically thank Simply Mee, Rhapsody Phoenix, Eya, Atilola and Sykik, who went out of their way to wish me a happy 2013, and also find out how I fared. God bless you all. I wish every friend, every  vision builder, every commentator, a great and productive year ahead. May you reach your stars, and may your work speak for you this year. 









Going to the Cinema


I am posting below, an updated compilation, which I first posted on my notes tab on Facebook in May, 2010 about lessons which life has taught me. The lessons are evergreen as life remains a master teacher. Welcome to 2013; may all the wisdom you need to live well, and at peace with yourself and others, be yours this year and beyond.

 




1: Learn
to make allowances for others and do not be hasty in your judgement of them,
because you could make the same mistakes.





2: The
world will not stop simply because you experienced tragedy; life continues, so dust your boots and learn to live again.





3: Life
is full of variables.
God remains
the only constant.





4: Wean
yourself from unrealistic expectations of others and you will not be
disappointed.





5: No
matter how well you treat the next person, there’s no guarantee that they would
reciprocate. The people you helped along in life, are not necessarily the ones
that will extend help to you when you need it. So, be kind and helpful to
everyone, but do not expect them to pay you back in kind and do not be angry if
they do not.





6: Live
your life to please God and do not fret about “what people will say.” It does not matter what people say, but it does matter what God says.





7: The
people you thought would move the earth for you, rarely do. Support usually
comes from unexpected quarters, so do not place your hope in anyone.





8:
Appreciate your loved ones and let them know it. Show your siblings, spouse,
parents, children and friends, care. Give them no reason to doubt your love for
them. You may not have them for as long as you thought, and even if you do, it is not wise to take them for granted.





9: Some
people would not forgive your perceived mistakes even in death, while some
derive a sort of perverse joy in one’s death as if they would never die.





10: The
fact that one was born with a silver spoon is no guarantee that the spoon will
always be there. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns and one who is
celebrated today, may be scorned tomorrow. Do not rest on your oars and expect
to ride on past glory to make it in life. Work hard for yourself, and trust God
for the best.





11. The
pauper, who is despised today and scorned, could be a celebrated prince
tomorrow, if God favors him. Never look down on anyone, nor judge them based on
the present. Tomorrow always unravels surprises.








To be continued....