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Alan Hardy

Goodreads Author

Born

in Luton, The United Kingdom

Twitter

AlanWilliamHard

Genre

Mystery, Romance, Humor and Comedy

Influences

Giacomo Leopardi ...more

Member Since

October 2012

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I'm a director of an English language school for foreign students. Married, with one daughter. Poetry pamphlets: Wasted Leaves, 1996; I Went With Her, 2007. I've had poems published in such magazines as Orbis, Iota, The Interpreter's House, Poetry Nottingham, Poetry Salzburg Review, Poetry Cornwall, and others. I have now written ten novels. I would describe them as surreal novels with plenty of comedy, satire, humor, romance, sex and adventure. They're shocking, original and respectful of nothing and nobody. You have been warned.
The nine published so far are THE CASE OF THE TATTOOED BUTTOCKS, THE CASE OF THE PINIONED BOSOMS, THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING CORPSES, THROUGH THE GATES, VAMPIRE HUNT, JULIA, GOOD QUEEN BETH, BRITT, and GABRIELLA. I'm a director of an English language school for foreign students. Married, with one daughter. Poetry pamphlets: Wasted Leaves, 1996; I Went With Her, 2007. I've had poems published in such magazines as Orbis, Iota, The Interpreter's House, Poetry Nottingham, Poetry Salzburg Review, Poetry Cornwall, and others. I have now written ten novels. I would describe them as surreal novels with plenty of comedy, satire, humor, romance, sex and adventure. They're shocking, original and respectful of nothing and nobody. You have been warned.
The nine published so far are THE CASE OF THE TATTOOED BUTTOCKS, THE CASE OF THE PINIONED BOSOMS, THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING CORPSES, THROUGH THE GATES, VAMPIRE HUNT, JULIA, GOOD QUEEN BETH, BRITT, and GABRIELLA.
THE CASE OF THE TATTOOED BUTTOCKS, subtitled AN INSPECTOR CULLOT MYSTERY, is a cheeky, exciting murder mystery, with plenty of thrills, surprises, witty repartee, suspense and sexy ladies, let alone a couple of gory murders. The story takes place in a country mansion, with an assembled array of suspects (a mixture of the rich, decadent, sophisticated and louche) who are all perhaps not quite what they seem and hiding God knows what secrets... Even the renowned Inspector Cullot, with his occasional fits of dark despair, and now working in a department store's lingerie section, is tormented by ghosts from his past... And does the bumbling, simple-minded PC Blunt, recording another Inspector Cullot case for posterity in an array of note-books, also have skeletons in his cupboard..? And do the unsolved Night-Club Hostess Murders committed two years earlier have a bearing on the case? And what about the strange tattoos on the buttocks of the gorgeous ladies assembled at the mansion? What does it all mean? You'll die laughing trying to find out.
Check out the two follow-up novels in the series, THE CASE OF THE PINIONED BOSOMS and THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING CORPSES.... let alone THE CASE OF THE TORN YELLOW SOCKS, soon to appear as the fourth book in this hilarious series...
THROUGH THE GATES is a time-travel novel, with the hero (or anti-hero) Mark travelling back to the days of World War Two. He lives in an old house with a big, mysterious garden where he keeps unearthing and discovering objects which draw him back into the past. He's also obsessed with a beautiful young woman he saw when very young, and his attraction towards the past, and journeys into it, are also an attempt to find her and discover who she was... Not to mention the gold bullion buried somewhere in Mark's garden...
VAMPIRE HUNT tells the story of Dr Joseph Aymon's return to Transylvania in search of Bella, his long-lost first love, and in search of vampires...to kill...
JULIA is a novel dealing with a young man's obsession with his first love, and his pursuit of her over seven years. Is he just a young man hopelessly and helplessly in love, or is it something more delusional...or even dangerous?
GABRIELLA is a cheeky, sexy portrayal of young love played out on the sports field. It's romantic, provocative, unabashed, and unapologetic.
BRITT is set in France during World War One, and is a comic, exciting tale of derring-do, spies, aerial dog-fights...and sexual shenanigans... In contrast to this world of sexual abandon and experience, we have Wriggles of the Royal Flying Corps and Britt, his childhood sweetheart. Both are innocents in a world they don't understand, and can't relate to. With a devilishly cunning German spy ring about to escape with top-secret information that might well bring about England's defeat, they are England's only hope. Will they be able to save England, and find true love...?
GOOD QUEEN BETH is a savage, no-holds-barred critique of the monarchy and present-day society, in a novel which is brutal and provocative, yet exhilarating and wide-ranging in events and relationships. ...more

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Alan Hardy’s books

Average rating: 3.78 · 2,166 ratings · 391 reviews · 27 distinct works • Similar authors

	Love at War 3.87 avg rating — 249 ratings — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Case Of The Tattooed Buttocks (Inspector Cullot Mystery Series #1) 3.26 avg rating — 235 ratings — published 2015 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Nazi Spy (Nazi Spy, #1) 3.35 avg rating — 210 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Gabriella 4.49 avg rating — 85 ratings — published 2012 — 5 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Case Of The Pinioned Bosoms (Inspector Cullot Mystery Series #2) 3.73 avg rating — 89 ratings — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Good Queen Beth 4.33 avg rating — 76 ratings — published 2014	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Nazi Double Agent (Nazi Spy #2) 3.67 avg rating — 82 ratings — published 2021 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Case Of The Disappearing Corpses (Inspector Cullot Mystery Series, #3) 3.37 avg rating — 83 ratings — published 2016 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Britt 4.20 avg rating — 64 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Case Of The Torn Yellow Socks (Inspector Cullot Mystery Series, #4) 3.38 avg rating — 65 ratings — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

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Alan Hardy's Blog

Excerpt from THROUGH THE GATES

If, after reading this extract, you'd like to have a look at the whole book, here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Through-Gates-A...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Through-Gates...

Then Mark heard it. A faint drone, like of a fly or wasp. Wavering and irritating. Then increasing in volume and steadiness. He half-heard a medley of warning voices emanating from the house. He made as if to move away. Tomlinson Read more of this blog post »

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Published on October 06, 2014 08:13 • Tags: 1944, action, d-day, romance, time-travel, world-war-two

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Series by Alan Hardy

Inspector Cullot Mystery Series (5 books)
by

Alan Hardy (Goodreads Author)

3.39 avg rating — 481 ratings

Nazi Spy Mystery Series (2 books)
by

Alan Hardy (Goodreads Author)

3.44 avg rating — 291 ratings

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Quotes by Alan Hardy (?)

“Poet, writer and anti-royalist”
― Alan Hardy

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The Challenge Fac...: Jackie Saves the Bees	24	20	Sep 05, 2025 04:46PM

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Alan’s Quotes

“Poet, writer and anti-royalist”
― Alan Hardy

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“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: attributed-no-source, be-yourself, gilbert-perreira, honesty, inspirational, misattributed-oscar-wilde, quote-investigator

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“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

tags: book, inspirational

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“Listen with an open heart”
― William O'Brien

tags: healing-insights, humanity, knowledge, magic, mystical, philosophy, spirituality, truth

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“Many years ago, plunging was discovered when the moon was in two halves- it's all about dreams, you see”
― William O'Brien, Peter: A Darkened Fairytale

tags: dreams, fairytale, fantasy, magic, moon, mystical, witch, wizard

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No pretensions: just poetry. Stop by, recommend books, offer up poems (excerpted), tempt us, taunt us, tell us what to read and where to go (to read No pretensions: just poetry. Stop by, recommend books, offer up poems (excerpted), tempt us, taunt us, tell us what to read and where to go (to read it!) Goodreads honors wordsmiths: poets and poetry promoted and prompted here. ~~~ "Poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits." -- Carl Sandburg “God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.” —Anne Sexton On Clouds – “…what primitive tastes the ancients must have had if their poets were inspired by those absurd, untidy clumps of mist, idiotically jostling one another about…” —Yevgeny Zamyatin “If the poet wants to be a poet, the poet must force the poet to revise. If the poet doesn’t wish to revise, let the poet abandon poetry and take up stamp-collecting or real estate.” —Donald Hall “Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation’s tears in shoulder blades.” —Boris Pasternak “Wanted: a needle swift enough to sew this poem into a blanket.” —Charles Simic “Language is a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to, while all the time we long to move the stars to pity.” —Gustave Flaubert “Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It’s that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that’s what the poet does.” —Allen Ginsberg. ~~~~~ Amy King, Moderator Amy King is the recipient of the 2015 Winner of the WNBA Award (Women’s National Book Association). Her latest collection, The Missing Museum, is a winner of the 2015 Tarpaulin Sky Book Prize. She serves on the executive board of VIDA: Women in Literary Arts and is co-editing with Heidi Lynn Staples the anthology, Big Energy Poets of the Anthropocene: When Ecopoets Think Climate Change. She is also co-editing the anthology, Bettering American Poetry 2015, and is an Associate Professor of Creative Writing at SUNY Nassau Community College. ...more

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