Connie Johnson Hambley's Blog, page 4
June 13, 2021
2. Fear, Shame, and Love: The Hidden Epidemic of Elder Financial Exploitation Part Two: Predators
[This is the second of a series of articles leading up to World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, June 15, 2021]
Part Two: Predators
Helen’s* family was stunned by her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. They were equally stunned when that diagnosis didn’t protect her or her family from the ravages of elder financial exploitation.
A family vacation home was sold and the proceeds disappeared. Banking and investment accounts vanished or the balances diminished in an unexplained plummet. Like many elder victims, Helen became increasingly defensive, evasive, and confused. But it’s not only the ailing who can be exploited. The insidious truth is that healthy elders (defined as anyone over 60 years of age) can become victims, too.
Clever Scams
Financial scams are limited only by the predator’s imagination and no prior relationship between the victim and predator is needed. Scams can come in the form of phone calls by persons alleging to be a family member (most often a grandchild) in some kind of urgent trouble or a customer service representative offering a ‘refund’ that cleverly morphs into the victim sending money (frequently in the form of gift cards) to cover an ‘error.’ The Internet can be a minefield of scams only a click away. Mail-based fraud may take the form of charity or political solicitations. Unscrupulous home maintenance professionals may also take advantage of elders, where sneaky perpetrators pad invoices or submit false bills altogether. The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) has a trove of articles to help identify and protect yourself or loved ones from phone-, Internet-, and mail-based scams at aarp.org.
We can begin to protect our elders from nameless or faceless predators with advice like, “Don’t give out personal or financial information over the phone or unfamiliar websites,” or, “Don’t respond to direct mail solicitations.” Calling your local resource center or council on aging for referrals to trusted professionals or home repair businesses is also a line of protection. Yet, elder financial exploitation is one of the most under-reported crimes. Why? Because it’s a crime of access and opportunity most often enacted by a family member or a close family friend.
The Trusted Predator
So, who are the people who exploit others?
They are the sons, daughters, spouses, friends, grandchildren, landlords, or professionals who have sat with you on a sunny afternoon. They have access to the elder, most often by living with them or in close proximity to them. Unlike the fraud schemes mentioned above, they have a close relationship with the elder, and it’s that relationship that becomes weaponized.
Helen’s case was a perfect storm of bad actors. What began as self-serving acts of one individual tragically became a case of predatory guardianship. As fictionalized in the Netflix movie, I Care A Lot, professionals charged with protecting vulnerable adults are well-positioned to exploit their charges. Most conservators or guardians have sufficient state-mandated oversight to eliminate abuses, but even well-intentioned tools can add to problems. (More about guardianships in a later column.)
Widowed years before, Helen lived away from family in a retirement community. Isolation from supportive family and friends is a key contributor to abuse. For Helen’s family, what had seemed like an ideal situation of independent living added to her vulnerability. Removed from the questioning eyes of family, Jane* began to exert influence. Small transgressions went unaddressed. Jane became emboldened and began to “wean” Helen from her other relationships, further embedding herself into Helen’s affairs. Jane became an indispensable friend, displaying hurt if not included in Helen’s plans. Soon, the family realized Helen had little privacy from Jane, and Helen became evasive when questioned about her friend.
Isolation can be physical, but it can be psychological as well.
Elizabeth’s* youngest daughter, Mary*, didn’t understand the increasingly large checks written to her brother, Craig*. When questioned, Elizabeth withdrew, mentioning how angry Craig had become at Mary’s inquiries. Elizabeth struggled to “keep the peace,” and began to avoid Mary in fear of making Craig mad.
Jane and Craig used their access to begin separating the vulnerable elder from people or institutions instrumental in the healthy support of that elder. Once isolated, the opportunities for their actions to go unquestioned increased. Perpetrators of financial exploitation are most often a close family member like a husband or grandchild. They leverage the loss or worsening of their relationship as a weapon–“do this or else”–or as a gaslighting wedge, “Don’t you remember? You owed me money for gas and groceries.” Or worse. “Oh, these documents? Trust me, it’s nothing. Sign here.” What the victim’s family sadly finds out too late, is that one signature can make a lifetime of savings disappear.
A ‘Justifiable’ Crime
People who exploit others often do not see their actions as wrong. Jane began her theft feeling Helen had “enough” money and, with her failing health, would “never miss it.” Craig felt entitled to Elizabeth’s money through a misguided combination of “oldest son” and a sense of entitlement. Observed from the outside, exploitative relationships don’t have the typical red flags one would expect in an abusive relationship. Perpetrators of elder financial abuse and exploitation enjoy the cloak of “private family affair” that makes questioning details by a concerned person uncomfortable. An addicted child or cash-poor son may be sheltered by a parent reluctant to disclose painful family secrets.
Helen was surely vulnerable and the family was justifiably upset at the changes of her financial health, and, as a result, their inheritances. Yet, Jane felt justified and protected. Mary felt anger toward her mother and brother for continuing a pattern all knew was wrong.
Once diagnosed, Helen’s family reached out to others for help, only to uncover a shocking underbelly of corruption. Mary found stopping her mother’s financial drain had a surprising twist.
How and why?
The next articles will provide some answers.
###
Part Three: The Perfect Victims
*All names have been changed upon the request of the families.
Elder abuse is a crime that can be physical, medical, financial, or emotional/behavioral in nature. Neglect and abandonment of an elder can be crimes as well. If you or a loved one is the subject of suspected abuse, call your local adult protective services to speak confidentially with a knowledgeable expert.
Fear, Shame, and Love: The Hidden Epidemic of Elder Financial Exploitation Part Two: Predators
[This is the second of a series of articles leading up to World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, June 15, 2021]
Helen’s* family was stunned by her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. They were equally stunned when that diagnosis didn’t protect her or her family from the ravages of elder financial exploitation.
A family vacation home was sold and the proceeds disappeared. Banking and investment accounts vanished or the balances diminished in an unexplained plummet. Like many elder victims, Helen became increasingly defensive, evasive, and confused. But it’s not only the ailing who can be exploited. The insidious truth is that healthy elders (defined as anyone over 60 years of age) can become victims, too.
Clever Scams
Financial scams are limited only by the predator’s imagination and no prior relationship between the victim and predator is needed. Scams can come in the form of phone calls by persons alleging to be a family member (most often a grandchild) in some kind of urgent trouble or a customer service representative offering a ‘refund’ that cleverly morphs into the victim sending money (frequently in the form of gift cards) to cover an ‘error.’ The Internet can be a minefield of scams only a click away. Mail-based fraud may take the form of charity or political solicitations. Unscrupulous home maintenance professionals may also take advantage of elders, where sneaky perpetrators pad invoices or submit false bills altogether. The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) has a trove of articles to help identify and protect yourself or loved ones from phone-, Internet-, and mail-based scams at aarp.org.
We can begin to protect our elders from nameless or faceless predators with advice like, “Don’t give out personal or financial information over the phone or unfamiliar websites,” or, “Don’t respond to direct mail solicitations.” Calling your local resource center or council on aging for referrals to trusted professionals or home repair businesses is also a line of protection. Yet, elder financial exploitation is one of the most under-reported crimes. Why? Because it’s a crime of access and opportunity most often enacted by a family member or a close family friend.
The Trusted Predator
So, who are the people who exploit others?
They are the sons, daughters, spouses, friends, grandchildren, landlords, or professionals who have sat with you on a sunny afternoon. They have access to the elder, most often by living with them or in close proximity to them. Unlike the fraud schemes mentioned above, they have a close relationship with the elder, and it’s that relationship that becomes weaponized.
Helen’s case was a perfect storm of bad actors. What began as self-serving acts of one individual tragically became a case of predatory guardianship. As fictionalized in the Netflix movie, I Care A Lot, professionals charged with protecting vulnerable adults are well-positioned to exploit their charges. Most conservators or guardians have sufficient state-mandated oversight to eliminate abuses, but even well-intentioned tools can add to problems. (More about guardianships in a later column.)
Widowed years before, Helen lived away from family in a retirement community. Isolation from supportive family and friends is a key contributor to abuse. For Helen’s family, what had seemed like an ideal situation of independent living added to her vulnerability. Removed from the questioning eyes of family, Jane* began to exert influence. Small transgressions went unaddressed. Jane became emboldened and began to “wean” Helen from her other relationships, further embedding herself into Helen’s affairs. Jane became an indispensable friend, displaying hurt if not included in Helen’s plans. Soon, the family realized Helen had little privacy from Jane, and Helen became evasive when questioned about her friend.
Isolation can be physical, but it can be psychological as well.
Elizabeth’s* youngest daughter, Mary*, didn’t understand the increasingly large checks written to her brother, Craig*. When questioned, Elizabeth withdrew, mentioning how angry Craig had become at Mary’s inquiries. Elizabeth struggled to “keep the peace,” and began to avoid Mary in fear of making Craig mad.
Jane and Craig used their access to begin separating the vulnerable elder from people or institutions instrumental in the healthy support of that elder. Once isolated, the opportunities for their actions to go unquestioned increased. Perpetrators of financial exploitation are most often a close family member like a husband or grandchild. They leverage the loss or worsening of their relationship as a weapon–“do this or else”–or as a gaslighting wedge, “Don’t you remember? You owed me money for gas and groceries.” Or worse. “Oh, these documents? Trust me, it’s nothing. Sign here.” What the victim’s family sadly finds out too late, is that one signature can make a lifetime of savings disappear.
A ‘Justifiable’ Crime
People who exploit others often do not see their actions as wrong. Jane began her theft feeling Helen had “enough” money and, with her failing health, would “never miss it.” Craig felt entitled to Elizabeth’s money through a misguided combination of “oldest son” and a sense of entitlement. Observed from the outside, exploitative relationships don’t have the typical red flags one would expect in an abusive relationship. Perpetrators of elder financial abuse and exploitation enjoy the cloak of “private family affair” that makes questioning details by a concerned person uncomfortable. An addicted child or cash-poor son may be sheltered by a parent reluctant to disclose painful family secrets.
Helen was surely vulnerable and the family was justifiably upset at the changes of her financial health, and, as a result, their inheritances. Yet, Jane felt justified and protected. Mary felt anger toward her mother and brother for continuing a pattern all knew was wrong.
Once diagnosed, Helen’s family reached out to others for help, only to uncover a shocking underbelly of corruption. Mary found stopping her mother’s financial drain had a surprising twist.
How and why?
The next articles will provide some answers.
###
*All names have been changed upon the request of the families.
Elder abuse is a crime that can be physical, medical, financial, or emotional/behavioral in nature. Neglect and abandonment of an elder can be crimes as well. If you or a loved one is the subject of suspected abuse, call your local adult protective services to speak confidentially with a knowledgeable expert.
June 12, 2021
1. Fear, Shame, and Love: The Hidden Epidemic of Elder Financial Exploitation Part One: The Crime
[This is the first of a series of articles leading up to World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, June 15, 2021.]
Part One: The Crime
Helen Younger’s* last words were, “You lied to me.”
What was left of her family had gathered at her bedside as the final hunger of Alzheimer’s was sated. Their faces had become strangers to her, and they clung to the surprise moments when her fog would lift and she would call a family member by name or comment on a recent accomplishment.
Their huddle was both to pay respects and homage to the family matriarch, but it was also protective. In her fading years, Helen had signed away most of her assets to Jane* and her son, Jack*. Helen’s life may have been coming to an end, but the ugly process of proving elder financial abuse and exploitation had only just begun.
The family stiffened when Jane walked into the room. The lines of conflict had already been drawn and Jane and Jack’s appearance had been negotiated through lawyers and guardians. Jane was a southern-based “Snow Bird” acquaintance of Helen and her husband for many years. New Hampshire Yankees at heart, the Youngers had accumulated millions with frugal living, smart real estate choices, and shrewd investing. After Helen had been widowed eight years earlier, Jane became Helen’s best friend. The family wanted to block Jane’s request for a final goodbye, but the court ruled no harm could come from a long-time friend bidding her final respects.
Jane entered the room with exclamations of love and missives for Helen. “We miss you and love you, Helen dear!”
“You lied to me.” Helen’s last words were directed to her one-time BFF.
Early Warnings
Years before, the first trickle of money in Jane’s direction looked like the generosity of a well-off friend to a modest-means buddy. Shopping trips started as buying a blouse or trinket for Jane, but then slowly morphed to full-blown wardrobes and more for Jane, her son, and another “friend.” Helen’s wardrobe, however, remained stuck in 1980’s neons with padded shoulders.
Those warning signs could be explained away. “Oh, it’s just a little shopping with the girls,” Helen could say, but the family grew worried at the increasing credit card charges. They faced a common junction: Their beloved elder had begun to make questionable decisions. Eccentricity and quirks are the privilege of old age. Helen brushed aside voiced concerns. A person has the right to do with their assets as they damned well pleased. Just because a son or daughter objects, or the money-flow is outside a “norm,” doesn’t mean the expenditures are illegal or wrong. “My money. My choice,” is a common refrain. Helen’s children and grandchildren hit an all-too-common wall.
Freedom to choose worries countless families who face the same dilemma. Long before it was clear that Helen was losing her abilities to discern “fraud” from “freedom,” Jane was embedding herself deeper into Helen’s private affairs. Helen had been living the vibrant life of a robust retiree at a posh assisted living community in Florida. Family noted nothing unusual during their visits, but would admit that visits and phone calls are different than seeing someone’s day-to-day life. Troublesome patterns could go unnoticed. Close friendships often provide an early warning to family members for memory issues that are more than a senior moment. Another set of eyes from a helpful friend can be a blessing and provide crucial insights into behaviors and health. Personal boundaries vary, so one friend’s “help” can be another friend’s “intrusion.” Trust becomes a bankable asset. Trusting Jane, Helen divulged financial details.
More warnings happened. Family members compared notes and realized the mysterious Jane was omnipresent during their visits, giving them little privacy. In rare private moments, Helen became nervous and evasive when questioned about Jane, the increasing credit card bills, and the missing bank statements. A beloved family lake home was suddenly sold and the proceeds were unaccounted for. Names changed on investment accounts, or those accounts disappeared entirely. Tensions and suspicions escalated rapidly. Helen became increasingly deceptive. Jane insisted Helen’s decisions were unimpeachable.
The Subtle Crime
One doesn’t need to have diminished capacity to fall victim to a predator. The slide into Alzheimer’s can explain some of Helen’s behaviors, but victims of financial exploitation display similar evasiveness. Anxiety triggered by probing questions is not limited to individuals with ailing brains. In fact, those elders who have all their marbles can be even more deceptive and evasive of probing questions. Quite simply, they know something is wrong but feel powerless to stop it. They evade and hide the crime because they are embarrassed.
The U.S. Department of Justice defines exploitation as “. . . an act of forcing, compelling, or exerting undue influence over a vulnerable adult causing the vulnerable adult to act in a way that is inconsistent with relevant past behavior, or causing the vulnerable adult to perform services for the benefit of another.” (emphasis added) Broadly defined, “services” includes, but is not limited to, paying the influencer’s bills, co-signing loans, providing food, shelter, or transportation, providing employment or references, and signing documents without proper counsel such as deeds, leases, or Powers of Attorney. Elder exploitation is not a crime solely of the wealthy.
Identifying a “vulnerable adult” is not the hard part. Vulnerability can be developmental, medical, or behavior-based. More importantly, frailty and loneliness, both common issues among the elderly, are recognized contributors. What may surprise some is that most states define “elderly” as anyone over 60 years of age.
Exploitation of an otherwise healthy elder who has full capacity to make his or her own decisions is difficult to indentify, let alone prosecute. Embarrassment and the need to save face lead to defending the predator. Most victims just want the abuse to stop. They do not want the predator to ‘get into trouble.’ The result is the victim, as the key witness to the crime, will not testify against the predator. They become unwitting enablers of their own predicament.
Yet, Helen’s diagnosis identified her as a vulnerable adult, but it didn’t offer the family an easy path to resolution. Their story is a cautionary tale for all of our beloved elders regardless of their health.
Who are these predators? Who helps them? Are they “evil” people? What can we do to protect our loved ones?
The following articles will explore these questions and more. Not everything is as easy as we hope.
###
Part Three: The Perfect Victims
*All names have been changed upon the request of the family.
Elder abuse is a crime that can be physical, medical, financial, or emotional/behavioral in nature. Neglect and abandonment of an elder can be crimes as well. If you or a loved one is the subject of suspected abuse, call your local adult protective services to speak confidentially with a knowledgeable expert.
Fear, Shame, and Love: The Hidden Epidemic of Elder Financial Exploitation Part One: The Crime
[This is the first of a series of articles leading up to World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, June 15, 2021.]
Helen Younger’s* last words were, “You lied to me.”
What was left of her family had gathered at her bedside as the final hunger of Alzheimer’s was sated. Their faces had become strangers to her, and they clung to the surprise moments when her fog would lift and she would call a family member by name or comment on a recent accomplishment.
Their huddle was both to pay respects and homage to the family matriarch, but it was also protective. In her fading years, Helen had signed away most of her assets to Jane* and her son, Jack*. Helen’s life may have been coming to an end, but the ugly process of proving elder financial abuse and exploitation had only just begun.
The family stiffened when Jane walked into the room. The lines of conflict had already been drawn and Jane and Jack’s appearance had been negotiated through lawyers and guardians. Jane was a southern-based “Snow Bird” acquaintance of Helen and her husband for many years. New Hampshire Yankees at heart, the Youngers had accumulated millions with frugal living, smart real estate choices, and shrewd investing. After Helen had been widowed eight years earlier, Jane became Helen’s best friend. The family wanted to block Jane’s request for a final goodbye, but the court ruled no harm could come from a long-time friend bidding her final respects.
Jane entered the room with exclamations of love and missives for Helen. “We miss you and love you, Helen dear!”
“You lied to me.” Helen’s last words were directed to her one-time BFF.
Early Warnings
Years before, the first trickle of money in Jane’s direction looked like the generosity of a well-off friend to a modest-means buddy. Shopping trips started as buying a blouse or trinket for Jane, but then slowly morphed to full-blown wardrobes and more for Jane, her son, and another “friend.” Helen’s wardrobe, however, remained stuck in 1980’s neons with padded shoulders.
Those warning signs could be explained away. “Oh, it’s just a little shopping with the girls,” Helen could say, but the family grew worried at the increasing credit card charges. They faced a common junction: Their beloved elder had begun to make questionable decisions. Eccentricity and quirks are the privilege of old age. Helen brushed aside voiced concerns. A person has the right to do with their assets as they damned well pleased. Just because a son or daughter objects, or the money-flow is outside a “norm,” doesn’t mean the expenditures are illegal or wrong. “My money. My choice,” is a common refrain. Helen’s children and grandchildren hit an all-too-common wall.
Freedom to choose worries countless families who face the same dilemma. Long before it was clear that Helen was losing her abilities to discern “fraud” from “freedom,” Jane was embedding herself deeper into Helen’s private affairs. Helen had been living the vibrant life of a robust retiree at a posh assisted living community in Florida. Family noted nothing unusual during their visits, but would admit that visits and phone calls are different than seeing someone’s day-to-day life. Troublesome patterns could go unnoticed. Close friendships often provide an early warning to family members for memory issues that are more than a senior moment. Another set of eyes from a helpful friend can be a blessing and provide crucial insights into behaviors and health. Personal boundaries vary, so one friend’s “help” can be another friend’s “intrusion.” Trust becomes a bankable asset. Trusting Jane, Helen divulged financial details.
More warnings happened. Family members compared notes and realized the mysterious Jane was omnipresent during their visits, giving them little privacy. In rare private moments, Helen became nervous and evasive when questioned about Jane, the increasing credit card bills, and the missing bank statements. A beloved family lake home was suddenly sold and the proceeds were unaccounted for. Names changed on investment accounts, or those accounts disappeared entirely. Tensions and suspicions escalated rapidly. Helen became increasingly deceptive. Jane insisted Helen’s decisions were unimpeachable.
The Subtle Crime
One doesn’t need to have diminished capacity to fall victim to a predator. The slide into Alzheimer’s can explain some of Helen’s behaviors, but victims of financial exploitation display similar evasiveness. Anxiety triggered by probing questions is not limited to individuals with ailing brains. In fact, those elders who have all their marbles can be even more deceptive and evasive of probing questions. Quite simply, they know something is wrong but feel powerless to stop it. They evade and hide the crime because they are embarrassed.
The U.S. Department of Justice defines exploitation as “. . . an act of forcing, compelling, or exerting undue influence over a vulnerable adult causing the vulnerable adult to act in a way that is inconsistent with relevant past behavior, or causing the vulnerable adult to perform services for the benefit of another.” (emphasis added) Broadly defined, “services” includes, but is not limited to, paying the influencer’s bills, co-signing loans, providing food, shelter, or transportation, providing employment or references, and signing documents without proper counsel such as deeds, leases, or Powers of Attorney. Elder exploitation is not a crime solely of the wealthy.
Identifying a “vulnerable adult” is not the hard part. Vulnerability can be developmental, medical, or behavior-based. More importantly, frailty and loneliness, both common issues among the elderly, are recognized contributors. What may surprise some is that most states define “elderly” as anyone over 60 years of age.
Exploitation of an otherwise healthy elder who has full capacity to make his or her own decisions is difficult to indentify, let alone prosecute. Embarrassment and the need to save face lead to defending the predator. Most victims just want the abuse to stop. They do not want the predator to ‘get into trouble.’ The result is the victim, as the key witness to the crime, will not testify against the predator. They become unwitting enablers of their own predicament.
Yet, Helen’s diagnosis identified her as a vulnerable adult, but it didn’t offer the family an easy path to resolution. Their story is a cautionary tale for all of our beloved elders regardless of their health.
Who are these predators? Who helps them? Are they “evil” people? What can we do to protect our loved ones?
The following articles will explore these questions and more. Not everything is as easy as we hope.
###
*All names have been changed upon the request of the family.
Elder abuse is a crime that can be physical, medical, financial, or emotional/behavioral in nature. Neglect and abandonment of an elder can be crimes as well. If you or a loved one is the subject of suspected abuse, call your local adult protective services to speak confidentially with a knowledgeable expert.
April 1, 2021
Remembering an Infamous Man
Often, our personal memories of famous (or infamous) folks are more vivid and impactful than those provided to use by the news.
Such is the case of G. Gordon Liddy.
For those of you too young to know his name, Liddy became famous because of his role in the Watergate scandal during the Nixon administration. Some call him the “mastermind” behind the break-in that culminated in Nixon resigning.
Liddy spent more than four years in prison. He later said he’d do it all again for his president.
His loyalty to a difficult president and his participation of illegal acts made him a pariah to some. My mom never lost her empathy for him.
Mom and Liddy’s wife, Fran, went to the College of New Rochelle together. They were friendly and Mom lived in Fran’s mother’s home when Mom started her career as a teacher at an elementary school in Poughkeepsie, New York. They kept in touch as Fran married and started her family. Mom recalls the boys as being “good swimmers” and “each one of them was athletic.”
When Liddy ran for a seat in the New York congress, Mom held a cocktail party for him. She remembered her guests were more interested in drinking than listening to a fledgling politician, but Liddy was a good sport and kept his introductory remarks short and his humor sharp. If his later years evidenced anything, it was that he was passionate about what he believed in and didn’t shy away from taking action he felt compelled to take. “He had a dry wit that softened his imposing manner,” she recalled.
Why write these memories? I’ve written about Liddy’s involvement in a devastating chapter in
my family’s life. An arsonist burned down our family barn. Although not the lead prosecutor on the case, Liddy helped our family as much as he could.
The help he gave Mom and our family during that difficult time was enough to engender Mom’s lifelong sympathy for him. Be he good or bad, she wasn’t going to abandon him. During his four years in prison, she corresponded with him, recalling that his responses were “sparsely written” but appreciative of her connection.
When Fran died, her funeral was to be held in Poughkeepsie. A blizzard made travel difficult, but Mom made it to the church, only to find it locked. The priest said the storm had kept the family from traveling from Washington. Mom sent her condolences, but always regretted not being able to say her final good-byes in person. “I wanted Gordon to know I tried.”
When I told Mom of his passing, she said, “I’m truly saddened. I hope his death was peaceful.” She wasn’t going to forgive his wrongs, but she wasn’t going to take away from his good, either.
Of all the reactions I’ve read about his life, I think Mom’s recollection of him is the most kind.
March 19, 2021
THE MOST NERVOUS SPOUSES OF ALL
My crime-writing friends often joke about their search histories being stuff of NSA nightmares or of the sidelong glances received when overheard in public sussing out gory scene details.
Then, there are the nervous smiles from our spouses.
One friend couldn't decide on which poison to use to kill a pesky antagonist. Arsenic? Too common. Cyanide? Too traceable and the bitter taste a dead giveaway that could stop a victim from drinking a lethal dose. After sounding ideas off her husband, she gave him an iced lemonade made without any sugar to see how much he would drink before stopping.
He took a sip, put down the glass, and asked, "We're happy in our marriage, right?"
Long live the long-suffering spouse of a writer.
I thought my husband and I were beyond such misunderstandings or fear. After a year of 24/7/365 togetherness, all fears and worries should have been dispelled, or at least thoroughly aired out.
A Zoom writers' group proved me wrong.
We start each session with a prompt and write for five minutes. I've posted a few of the responses in this blog and it's always fun to see the different ways we continue from a single beginning. This time, the prompt read:
The last few nights she had a recurring dream about ...
I continued with:
"...killing him.
The delicious thought wrapped her in layers of warmth. No more leg twitches. No more snorts and grunts. No more stale flatulence.
She'd be free.
The wave of happiness receded with wakefulness. "Damn it," she said as she pulled on her robe.
Night after night. Happy. Wake. Happy. Wake.
She couldn't take anymore.
Then the dreams invaded her days. She couldn't stop the thoughts. Her only respite came in planning actions. Gun? Too messy. Poison? Where to buy? Accident? How? When? Where?
The thoughts wrapped her in happiness.
Then...he didn't wake up. She nudged him.
She took the pillow from his head.
Nothing."No! No! No! It can't be!"
She woke to a snort.
He rolled over. "Morning," he said.
"Morning, Love. Coffee?"
We read our responses aloud to one another, laughed at our follies, and continued on with our session. Afterward, my husband appeared at my office door. He gave me a nervous smile. "That's not the first time you killed a husband in your writing."
I scoffed. "I haven't! That was the first."
He then listed other times my characters' husbands or significant others met untimely ends. His memory stretched back into years.
"We're happy in our marriage, right?"
March 10, 2021
Sisters in Crime New England at the Newburyport Literary Festival!
Join Sisters in Crime New England authors Richard Cass, Lorraine Sharma Nelson, Gerald Elias, and Connie Johnson Hambley as they build a story with YOUR clues while pulling back the curtain on the writing process! You’ll provide names, setting, motives, weapon and more. From each suggestion, the authors will talk about what goes in to each decision and how one small detail can alter an entire story. Join us for this interactive and fast-paced improv with authors and enjoy the fun as they create a brand new murder mystery on the spot!
Go to: https://newburyportliteraryfestival.org/ to learn more about registration for this FREE event.
October 15, 2020
COUNTDOWN TO NEW ENGLAND CRIME BAKE!
Saturday, November 7, 2020, 7:00 PM until 9:00 PM ET
I'm beyond proud to be Co-Chair of this terrific conference.
The New England Crime Bake is the premier conference for writers and lovers of crime writing in New England. Held every Veteran’s Day weekend, Friday through Sunday, Crime Bake has sold out annually for almost a decade. This year, that pesky virus is keeping us apart, so we've gone virtual! The conference is FREE this year and more of you can join us!
Jointly sponsored by the New England chapters of Sisters in Crime and Mystery Writers of America, Crime Bake is a learning experience, a networking opportunity, and a wonderful time. Attendees include writers at all stages of their careers, representing every genre in crime writing, including mystery, thriller, suspense, YA, historical, and true crime. In addition to writers, the conference appeals to all lovers of reading and crime, including librarians, booksellers, agents, editors, publishers, and fans.
The Crime Bake committee has worked hard to capture the essence of what makes this conference so special. We will celebrate the authors in our community who have had their debut novels published and hear the clever turns of phrase in our Flashwords! contest. As always, the Al Blanchard award will be given to the best short story! We'll have panels on writing during the pandemic and what the publishing landscape looks like in 2020. You won't want to miss industry insiders dishing on current trends.
Join us! This is the best year to sample what makes Crime Bake unique and loved!
July 22, 2020
Launched! THE SOUL CHANGER'S CONFESSION Short Story
My short story, The Soul Changer's Confession, is included in a wonderful anthology published in Running Wild Anthology of Stories, Volume 4 Book 1 by Running Wild Press.This collection is built on inclusion of diverse voices but does so organically and with ease. Culled from submissions from around the world, authors from Kuwait, Ireland, France, Saudi Arabia, and more offer slices of perspective and life in delicious bites. A joyful and provocative mix of genres and styles made this anthology one of my favorites.
The Soul Changer's Confession is a bit out of the norm for me. Swapping souls among the living to create eternal soul mates sounds wonderful, but havoc erupts at a nursing home when the soul changer sees too much. Yes, I put a smidgen of crime in there too!
The Amazon listing describes Book 1 as, "[a] cornucopia of stories that span genres and styles. Our editor spanned the globe to find every style and type of story to keep you engaged and make sure that we never, ever fit neatly in a box." Available in Kindle and paperback, this book is perfectly calibrated to our times and for summer beach reading.
Running Wild Press is woman owned and lead. They describe themselves like this: "We’re a tameless mix of creatives who find each other through books, workshops, conferences, blogs, and word of mouth. We share a love of reading and a flair for the unusual."
As an added bonus, the editors found so many great writers from around the world, they decided to create TWO anthologies. Running Wild Anthology of Stories Book 2 continues the exploration and fun. Enjoy both!
June 15, 2020
The Uncomfortable Complicity of Silence
Elder abuse is a hidden epidemic, one that will spread as the stress of financial hardships resulting from widespread unemployment and economic turmoil grows. It has no cure and the only known preventative is in the actions society takes. I learned it was essential not only to understand what I was seeing, but to have the courage to speak up. National Council on Aging, NCOA, (www.ncoa.org) reports that approximately 1 in 10 Americans aged 60+ have experienced some form of elder abuse, with estimates as high as 5 million elders abused each year. Elder abuse is broadly defined to include all types–such as neglect, physical, emotional, and verbal abuse–one study estimates that only .07% of cases are reported to authorities.
When narrowed down to financial abuse and exploitation, the statistics are even more grim with the American Association of Retired Persons (www.aarp.org) stating that 1 in 44 cases are reported. Of those, few were prosecuted and even fewer resulted in conviction.
I held a natural reticence toward silence when I considered something was a private matter or a family affair. Husbands and wives quarrel. Parents reprimand children. Without physical harm, I did not understand my duty to report.
In elder financial exploitation, a bias exists to blame the victim. Granny should have read the fine print better or she freely chose that her child should have a new car or fancy vacation. It’s none of our business to question her decisions or to question the sudden apparent wealth of her child. By blaming the victim, we absolve ourselves of taking action.
I politely demurred and kept my silence until I realized the perpetrator banked on that, making me complicit in the crimes.
There is a price to the elder for our silence. NCOA stated elder victims have a 300% higher risk of death when compared to those who have not been mistreated. Then there is the price of the concerned person who breaks the silence and dares to question the bonds of trust within a family. I know this because I am paying the price of breaking my silence. By honoring the trust of a beloved elder, I betrayed the trust of a family member by seeking help.
At its core, trust is a slippery weapon when used against the elder. Age or illness may have diminished their abilities, but trust and judgment remain as their tools for retaining independence and relevance. The World Health Organization recognizes an “expectation of trust” exists between the older person and their abuser. The elder writes checks or signs documents with trust, even as their eyesight may fail them or their ability to decipher terms wanes. Two-thirds of abusers are those who the elder naturally trust the most.
The New England Journal of Medicine reports, "Perpetrators are most likely to be adult children or spouses, and they are more likely to be male, to have a history of past or current substance abuse, to have mental or physical health problems, to have a history of trouble with the police, to be socially isolated, to be unemployed or have financial problems, and to be experiencing major stress . . . Most studies indicate that older women are more likely than older men to be victims of abuse.” (emphasis added)
The urge to protect the abuser is my beloved elder’s greatest hurdle. Like other elder victims, she is embarrassed and will not admit to harm in fear of the consequences the perpetrator may face. Age has made her increasingly dependent on others and often the abuser is the person she most relies upon for her support. By taking action against the abuser, she risks increased isolation.
Laws, created to protect, necessitate the elder to bear witness against the perpetrator, leading to few Orders of Protection and abysmally low conviction rates. Legal standards to prove duress or fear are not calibrated to the frail.
I did not challenge my own silence when learning of a single instance of misappropriation. Yet, repeated instances exposed her inner turmoil and caused my concern. The family did not want to see abuse and challenged my intrusion. The authorities supported me and encouraged her to break her own silence, even while acknowledging the devilish difficultly in prosecution.
With the weakening of our economy, incidences of elder financial exploitation will inevitably rise. As employment weakens, it may be the elder with the only secure source of income through their Social Security, investments, or retirement plan. They are ripe for harm. We need to help elders by recognizing the patterns of abuse that evidence financial exploitation.
There is a time in life when the child becomes the caregiver, the overseer and the protector. As a parent or guardian, we would never let a child be bullied, abused, or hurt. As the tables turn, we must offer that same code of protection to our aging population. It is our time to speak up and ensure our elders are safe and protected.
