Cindy Koepp's Blog, page 29
February 26, 2014
Etta Jean's Cat Story
My human volunteered my blog for a guest post today and Friday. Normally, I wouldn't mind a break from dispensing advice to humans. I mean, every now and then I need a good nap and a time to preen, but this time, it's just too much! My human agreed to a post about cats! Cats!! Can you believe it? *HISS* I'll have to give her a good squawking to later.
Well, she agreed to the post, and it really is a cute story ... but it would have been better with birds.
Captain's Log 27 November 2013
As I moved across the puff floor, I was treated to the sight of many wondrous things. Plenty of windows to sleep upon, and lots of doors to hide behind. My boys didn't take to the new place nearly as well. While Black Hawk also began to wander about, Yello' Bastian and Dark Smudge made a beeline to the Admiral and hid under the blankets beside her. Silly kits. I left them be as I moved down the hallway to where, pleasantly, I found a staircase. Staircases are such lovely claw sharpeners when the post is unavailable. I don't know why the Admiral and Skipper put up such a fuss.
The stairs led upstairs to the rest of the base. I found the loo quick enough, and I found a large space that was surely to be my—I mean, the Admiral's domain. It smelled like her. It had odd floors, though. Dark hard material rather than the puff. It would make running harder, but it was pretty. Other rooms on the deck had the same stuff. Actually, the whole second deck had it.
My exploration complete for the time, I returned to the Admiral and tried to comfort the kits. Nothing doing; they were staying in their nests.
Captain's Log 29 November 2013
Same Stuff Different Day. Boys are slowly emerging but not a lot. Admiral is putting color on the walls. She bonked my nose with a brush when I tried to help. Such ingratitude.
Captain's Log 29 November 2013
The Admiral is certifiably insane sometimes. Up at 0500 to go somewhere to spend money? Ugh! At least she brought back bags and boxes for us to play in.
Captain's Log 30 November 2013
Me Admiral is a strong, plucky, slightly insane yet genius, female. She stayed up too late putting color on the wall and got up even earlier to keep doing it. She had to send out for food, and the Artist delivered it before going to draw things on another wall. Pretty things. They talk to me. I like them. The Artist gets a bit vexed by me coming in and bugging her, but it's not my fault that she has nice nails and sits on the floor. If you're on the floor, you're fair game. It's a rule.
Rather early, me and the boys were snagged by the Admiral and put into the Skipper's loo with our box and our food 'n' water. None of us really knew what was going on this time until the stomping began. Unfamiliar voices flooded the place. Strange scents and sounds. When I tried to peek under the door, I saw big feet. It wasn't until I heard the Admiral giving directions that I figured it out: movers! Our things were being delivered.
We passed time by playing Tail Catch. Smudge took a nap. Bastian tried to climb the walls before hiding in the tub. I was tempted to turn the water on, but a lack of thumbs made it inadvisable. Darn thumbs.
Just as we were about to hit our point of sheer boredom, the movers left. The door was opened, and of course the kits went rushing out. I just ambled down the hall. Our lovely boxes were everywhere, of course. I would have to climb on them again before they were dismantled. My current goal was the Admiral's room. Sure enough, it was a disaster too with boxes and items everywhere. The Admiral herself was facedown on the bed and not even attempting to move. Smart girl; I taught her well. Naps fix everything. I climbed up beside her and found my spot for my own nap. Just before I dozed off, the Admiral started skritching me behind the ears and I heard her say, "Welcome home, Patchy."
Yep, it was home. I had my bed and my Admiral. Life was good.
Bio:
Etta Jean was born in Sacramento, California and destined from birth to be a bard. She told tall tales while devouring the creative worlds of others until she finally had to create her own. She has seen both good and evil in her life, and her stories, like life, have no half measures. Her happy endings never come without cost, though, for she truly believes we can't appreciate the good and the joy without the bad and the pain along the way. Her current haunt is a comfy house in her beloved hometown where she wrangles three feline fur-kids while constantly overbooking her calendar. If she's not chained to her desk, she's stomping through the scenery in search of equally fantastical photographs.
Info:
CHRONICLE OF SUMMER is now available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IFAZK16 for Kindle or http://www.amazon.com/dp/1940938198/ for paperback. Etta's Summer Fest blog tour continues through February, and there are prizes to be won by commenting on the stops along the way.
CHRONICLE OF DESTINY, the original Chronicle tale, can be purchased from Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1940938104/
@ettajeanfantasy on Twitter
www.ettajeanfantasy.wordpress.com
www.facebook.com/ettajeanfantasy/
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February 23, 2014
Multiple Dweller Living Arrangements
Humans have different kinds of living arrangements. Many live in the nest with just a mate and however many chicks there are. There are also arrangements where a bunch of different individuals and family groups live in different parts of the same building.
Animals also have those kinds of setups. In fact, I live in a single-family apartment within my human's nest. It's a lovely place. Great amenities. I get new food and water every day and snacks and toys. I even get someone to whistle with!
Some other animals live in neighborhoods with their own apartments. These are usually nice accommodations. Food and water and often toys and friends are available along with a separate bedroom when some personal time is needed. The arrangement is so wonderful, you humans pay for the opportunity to take a tour and check out the great living space. I think you call these places "zoos."
Anyway, my human, however, does not give tours, so you'll have to settle for pictures.
February 21, 2014
What is it?
Let's play a game. I'll describe a familiar object. Your job? Figure out what it is. If you are successful, I will whistle in your honor later. Okay? Here we go!
This stuff looks solid, and after smacking into it once, I am personally certain that it is, but my human swears that it's actually a very dense liquid. Maybe, but I'm not convinced. Anyway, it's usually transparent and the natural color is blue-green, but it does come in a variety of colors. This stuff is easily broken, and some humans can screech loud enough at the right pitch to break it without even touching it. Not bad, for a human. I suspect conures or cockatoos could manage the same trick if they wanted to. Even though it is breakable, it often injures or kills birds who don't know it's there. Very sad.
So, if you can figure out what it is, leave your best guess in the comments.
February 19, 2014
Snitch a Snack
As funny as birds are, we don’t have the market cornered on silliness. Here’s a great video of another species being amusing. Have fun! *WARNING* Video contains a dog. You have been warned.
February 16, 2014
Olympics
The Olympics are going on and watching humans do tricks is fascinating -- if those annoying announcers would just shut up for ten whole seconds -- but I've noticed some obvious shortcomings. In particular, there are no categories for birds. How could such an oversight occur? Obviously, your International Olympic Committee needs some experienced, avian assistance. Fortunately for you, I'm available to provide my expertise.
In your gymnastics category, I have a couple great ideas. First, you should have a contest for avian aerial gymnastics. That could be flying through an obstacle course with the best time and fewest errors for one event and a freestyle routine for another. You could even have pairs of birds executing a routine together. Can you imagine how skilled hummingbirds would be at this? They hover, fly sideways, backwards ... everything but upside down. I'd bet they could come up with some spectacular routines. You should probably have weight classes, though. A finch competing against a pelican would be hilarious but terribly unfair.
Another competition would be target stooping. This would probably have to be divided by classes, too, or perhaps restricted to falcons. Set up a bunch of targets on the ground with one blue one in the middle. The object would be to dive toward the blue one. Judges would score the bird on form, speed, and accuracy.
Then, of course, there are races of several types. Ducks and swans would do swimming races. Other non-water birds would do an aerial race. Roadrunners would have a special running course just for them.
Then, of course, you would have the penguin luge. They need no special equipment to go sliding down the course. Penguins could also do ice slide jumping, sort of like your skiers. The penguins would slide down the ramp on their bellies then zoom through the air as far as they can. It would be the closest to flying those poor birds would ever get, so they might enjoy it.
Penguins would also be particularly amusing at figure skating, alone or in pairs. I do, however, have a difficult time imagining penguins being as graceful as your human skaters. Stocky flightless birds just aren't built for it.
Then, of course, you have other events like formation flying, which geese would be experts at. I might have suggested vultures get into carrion tossing, but they might not like to see how far they can throw their lunch, so never mind.
Anyway, these are just a few events that would make perfect additions to your Olympics. I think your IOC should seriously consider adding them to the next round.
February 14, 2014
Negotiator
Note to self: You can't right click the Post New Entry button and then click New Tab and still get this dumb editor thingy to work. I wish my human would have told me that sooner, but I'm glad she figured it out. Otherwise, you would not have been able to see my excellent avatar.
Anyway...
Today is Valentine's Day, so I'm supposed to post something about love and romance, right? Well, romantic encounters have to start somewhere, and the story my human wrote for Splashdown Books' Aquasynthesis Again ends up being a the cause of a romantic dispute between Thomas, who's the main character in Mindstorm: Parley at Ologo, and his girlfriend, Meiko.
"Negotiator," though, is about how Thomas gets himself into a fine mess then gets himself out of it with the help of a professional negotiator. Here's a bit of it.
Thomas McCrady pressed a hand to his temple as he stumbled through the corridor. The jumble of voices in his head swamped him with an overlapping cacophony. Relative to the rest of the Haidar Space Station, Level Nine was a ghost town, but his telepathic brain didn’t recognize steel as a barrier, and the thousands of people on the entire donut-shaped station shrieked in his head. Cold sweat soaked his clothes, and the deck plates seemed as steady as the surface of the pool full of kids two levels above him.
The distance did nothing to mute their exuberance. Only two things would relieve the torment in his head, and he couldn’t afford an anti-psionic field generator. He had to rely on the medicinal salvation of Minum. Only it didn’t work like it used to. The one-month supply he could get from the clinic lasted two weeks, if that long.
You'll have to check out the book to figure out the rest, and Mindstorm? That should be out from Splashdown later this year.
I do feel compelled to warn you, though. There is no bird in this story. I still liked it, but a bird in the tale would have been better.
February 12, 2014
The Last Mission
Two of Seventh Star Press' recent anthology releases contain stories by my favorite human. One of them is in the A Chimerical World: Tales of the Seelie Court. Sadly, there are no birds in this one, but there is an elf who flies. In spite of the lack of a bird for the main character, I think the story is pretty good anyway, so here's a little bit of it for you to see.
Two pings announced a pair of missiles headed his way. Zanforil checked the radar and spotted the incoming ordinance. The system labeled them DF for dumb-fire. Easy to avoid those. He set the metronome in his head to sixty hertz and nodded in time. One-and-a-half beats from impact, he veered hard to starboard. The two missiles blazed past him and kept going.
There'd be no more dumb-fire missiles. The base commander would no doubt accept the extra expense of radar-guided or even image-recognition to make sure they got him.
Two more pings signaled the next volley. The radar labeled them RG. Zanforil reached into the left storage compartment and withdrew the fist-sized explosive charge he'd need to blow the missile silo to subatomic particles and level half the rest of the base. The charge went into a pouch on his belt. His mental metronome continued marking the beats for him. As the missiles closed in, he unsnapped his harness and crouched in the chair while keeping a hand on the control stick. He whistled a D-natural to engage the full life support system.
To read the rest of the story, you'll want to check out Tales of the Seelie Court.
Next time, I'll share a bit of the tale in Splashdown Books' Aquasynthesis Again.
February 9, 2014
The Hat
Seventh Star Press just released a trio of anthologies. My favorite human has stories in two of them. In one of them (Hero's Best Friend), she made a parrot the hero of the story. While the hero was not the African Grey, a cockatoo is still a parrot, but a very noisy one. It takes all kinds.
Here's a bit of the story for you where Cloud, the cockatoo, takes a practice run at grabbing a hat.
"Cloud, hat!" Ingrid ordered.
Yes, hat. I know. I need speed!
Circling one last time, she dropped down to hat-height and buzzed past Mick's head, catching the hat in both talons. Elephants weighed less. No wonder poor Cappie had done his best rock impression. Cloud flapped hard, tightened her grip, and made for the nearest safe perch, the table. She dropped the hat, made a tight circle, and landed on top of it. Flaring her crest and nodding, Cloud let loose a screech worthy of an umbrella cockatoo.
See how smart birds are? You should go get Hero's Best Friend and find out the rest of the story. Cloud is very clever when she has to get the hat for real.
Next time, I'll tell you about the other Seventh Star Press anthology my human is in.
February 7, 2014
Anthology Day!!
Today is a very exciting day for my favorite human. Three anthologies came out, and she has a story in each one! Hero's Best Friend and Tales of the Seelie Court are both out from Seventh Star Press and Aquasynthesis Again is out from Splashdown Books. Each has one of her tales.
Two of them are ebooks only, but one is in paper, and maybe she'll let me autograph it. In the meantime, go read them!
Links for Aquasynthesis Again --
Hero's Best Friend
A Chimerical World: Tales of the Seelie Court
My human doesn't have a tale in this one, but it's related to one she does have a story in.
Chimerical World: Tales of the Unseelie Court
On Sunday, maybe I should ask my human to give you a little bit from one of the stories. Personally, I'm partial to "The Hat" in Hero's Best Friend. The main character is a parrot. Yes, I think that will make a good place to start.
