Cindy Koepp's Blog, page 28
March 21, 2014
Caption This
Wow! My human has been busy today! I was starting to think she'd never get around to posting my blog, but here it is!
This Internet thing you humans developed is fascinating. I’ve been able to find all kinds of weird stuff, including some fun and funny pictures. Although the pictures look amusing, there’s often a severe lack of info about what’s going on. Here’s one such a picture. What would you put for a caption?
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Thanks to fabulous PDMI Publishing artist Elizabeth Mueller for the photo.
March 19, 2014
Name the Object (and Other Links)
There is an article shared around on Facebook today about Christian fiction and how clean or not clean it should be. I'd link to it here, but when my human tried to open it, the dumb thing had so many pop-up ads that it made her computer squawk. I almost weighed in on this topic myself here, but my human has already done so here, here, here, here, here, and here. Then Aaron DeMott, another writer coming out with his own book soon ... with cats! *hiss*, also weighed in on it here. No sense chewing on a destroyed oatmeal box, so go read those articles if you want and let's get back to Wacky Game Wednesday. Okay?
I'll describe a familiar object. Your job? Figure out what it is. If you are successful, I will whistle in your honor later. Okay?
One form of this object is made of paper, light cardboard, and patterns of dried pigments. Another form is patterns of light and dark on a piece of glass. There might even be pictures. However the marks are made, this object forms a message that makes sense to some humans who know how to decode it. (Even some birds can make sense of it, but if you ask us directly, we'll deny it.)
Post a comment and let me know what you think it is. If you're right, I'll whistle in your honor later.
/By the way, I'm working on some other games, too. I may save them for special occasions.
March 16, 2014
Soup
Judging from how wet my veggies are when they get to me, you humans believe in washing your food before you eat it. That's another great thing you have in common with birds. The difference, though, is that you wash your food and then typically heat it up before you eat it. I've seen my human eat soup, but your soup is made deliberately. Bird soup, on the other wing, is a tasty byproduct of our amazing cleanliness.
Most of the time, I trust my human's cleanliness. She's pretty cautious about everything else. Sometimes, though, things happen. The dogs come into the room. They are undoubtedly able to mess up my food by just being in the room. Sometimes, I just know my food has gotten dirty. There may not have been anything I could see, but sometimes, sometimes I just know something was in my apartment and messed with my food. The only thing left to do is wash it again.
Washing food is easy. Grab your food with your beak and carry it over to your water bowl. Dunk the food into the water. If you think the food has gotten really dirty, you might want to drop your food in there and leave it to float for a few minutes.
Invariably, when you retrieve your food from the bath, some will stay behind and add to your soup. Depending on what you have to eat that day, you'll have some tasty soup. In general, my soup has some peas, carrots, corn, beans, seeds, and pellet pieces. I dunk my crackers in to get a little salt in my soup.
Someitmes, I try out some weird soups, like when I have an oatmeal box to shred. I drop some of the shredded box into my water. I've tried it a few times, but I think there are better ways to get fiber. Unlike my veggies and crackers, dunking cardboard doesn't make it more edible. Chewy, yes, but not very good for soup.
You should try out some soup of your own. My human just started a new group on Facebook to share recipes for soup and other things. Go check it out and post your own favorite soup recipe.
March 14, 2014
Shasta the Yellow Nape and Her Human
You humans can be funny, but if you want true hilarity, you need a bird. Here’s a great video of a bird going for a laugh. It would have been better without the squawkboxes in the background, but Shasta is still a goof. Enjoy!
March 12, 2014
Human Innovations -- Unicorn in a Can?
You humans come up with some really good ideas. I mean, you have no wings, but you have figured out how to fly. That’s pretty amazing all by itself. Others of your inventions, however, make me wonder about the general sanity of your species. Fortunately, I have hope for humans. Some of your fellow humans have also realized how ridiculous your “inventors” can get. Check out the comments on this!
March 9, 2014
A Misused Phrase
Humans have a phrase that makes no sense to us birds. You like to say "You eat like a bird" to people who don't eat much. That doesn't work, you silly creatures.
You clearly demonstrate how little you understand us. Birds, you must understand, have a very high metabolism, which means we're hungry pretty much all the time. We actually eat a whole lot of food for our petite size. Granted, we eat less in a day than you do, but then we're also smaller. If you compare our body weight to the weight of our food, you would realize just how much birds eat.
Now, if you used that to refer to messy eaters, that would make sense. Our beaks are hard, so when we eat crunchy stuff, it'll fly all over the place. Watching seed and cracker parts go airborne truly is a lot of fun. I've even seen humans deliberately throw things, so I know you know what I mean. Then, depending on what the flying food hits, some fun noise might also result.
The phrase would also make sense if you meant that people hold things with their feet to eat. Parrots in particular are known for holding things with their feet, including their snacks. Even the birds that don't might still stand on their food to hold it down while they tear, shred, or devour their food.
So, you see, I understand the wisdom of comparing yourselves to birds. Holding a higher standard is a good idea. That's how you grow, after all, but you'll do much better to make that comparison relevant. Save "You eat like a bird" for those who make a huge mess or hold things with their feet. That would make more sense, and you would sound more intelligent.
March 7, 2014
Caption This
This Internet thing you humans developed is fascinating. I’ve been able to find all kinds of weird stuff, including some fun and funny pictures. Although the pictures look like fun, there’s often a severe lack of info about what’s going on in the picture. Here’s one such a picture. What would you put for a caption? If I like your suggestion, I'll go ring my bell for you.
WARNING: There is a turtle involved. Hey, at least it's not a cat. *HISS*
This picture was taken by Elizabeth Mueller, one of the very multitalented artists from PDMI Publishing.
March 5, 2014
Name the Object
Let's play a game. I'll describe a familiar object. Your job? Figure out what it is. If you are successful, I will whistle in your honor later. Okay?
This device is small and flat. It has a window that does things when you touch it. Humans use this device to read books, play games, and track information like how much excercise they got in one day. From time to time, this device gets attached to the wall by a wire. I, however, do not like this device. In addition to other useful functions, it can capture pictures and videos, and my human keeps trying to use it on me.
Leave the identity of the object in the comments. If you're right, my next whistle festival is about you.
March 2, 2014
A Tale of Two Birds
A couple days ago, my human's boss posted a writing prompt. My human decided to turn it into today's blog post. You will be relieved to know that there are birds involved. In fact, I knew the birds. They were much smaller than I was, and they squawked with an Australian accent. They were small for parrots -- but not the smallest of our kind -- and one was much older than the other. Here's a picture of them :
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The yellow and gray one is Lockheed. She was older than the other. You can tell she's a girl because she's actually larger (she's scrunched down in this picture preening) and there were gray and yellow stripes on her bottom tail feathers, a girl trait for her species. The yellowish white one is Freebie. He was half Lockheed's age. His eyes weren't really that color. That's a camera thing. He's standing taller than usual and has his wings partially unfurled because he's trying to get Lockheed to pay attention to him. She, however, was not impressed.
Anyway, here's the tale :
It was my turn to dig again. I fluttered down into the shallow bowl and used my talons to scrape the seed hulls, kicking them back and away from me as Freebie squawked in protest. Hey, if he didn't want a beakful of seed hulls, he shouldn't be standing behind me. Somewhere, in the bottom of this dish, there had to be more useful food. If Freebie had eaten everything and left me with nothing but hulls again, I was of a mind to squawk at him so loudly his eyeballs popped out. Every day, he did the same thing to me, hogging most of the food while I kept watch. Those poodles could be anywhere, and a bird was most vulnerable with her face in the food bowl. Did he appreciate me keeping his miserable tail safe? No.
Sure enough, once I had all the seed hulls out of the bowl, I had nothing left but ceramic. I kept digging for a while, just to be sure there wasn't some kind of false bottom on the bowl, but no. Freebie really had eaten the majority of our food, and I had gotten nothing but the seed biscuit I'd grabbed before going on watch. I hopped off the bowl and glared at Freebie, who didn't even have the decency to look concerned, let alone apologetic. Some roommate he was. He didn't even have the respect for my much greater years. Stupid fledgling.
I hissed and started after him. He squawked like I was killing him, but that would come later. Fortunately for him, being a smaller male, he was able to stay ahead of me. Once he'd shrieked a handful of times, our human came in and looked at the empty food bowl.
She frowned. "Freebie, you pig, you left her with nothing again. Ah, poor Lockheed."
Yeah, poor Lockheed was right. Our human opened the apartment door and retrieved the food bowl. When she came back, she put the bowl on top of the cage and opened the door again.
"Come here, Lockheed." She slipped her hand in front of my chest.
I stepped up and rode out of the apartment on her hand. She was a good human, keeping her hand nice and steady -- well as steady as her jittery hands ever were -- and set me down on the top of the cage. Freebie squawked and squawked, but our human closed the door before he could come out.
She kept watch while I ate. Tomorrow, I would have to make Freebie keep watch first.
February 28, 2014
Blog Voyage for Realm Makers
My human agreed to a guest blog post for today. That's okay. I needed a little extra shut-eye. So, read this while I go take a nap. There's a lot of good information here! ... Oh, and there are no cats, dogs, or pink monkeys this time, so you're safe.
Where did the idea for Realm Makers come from?
Realm Makers grew out of the rising sentiment among Christian speculative fiction authors that we don’t quite fit on either side of the religious market or secular market fence. We needed a place of our own to relax and be ourselves, whether that involves geeking out over the latest season of Doctor Who or working out the nuances of a costume. The idea of offering a full two days where every class applied to the speculative fiction writer grabbed me by the throat a couple years ago and insisted to be brought to life.
How did you develop this from an idea into a full-fledged conference?
Mostly by doing the thing in life that terrifies me most . . . asking other people to jump on board. Having faculty people want to hear is a huge part of enticing attendees to join us, so making connections was the first step. Splickety Magazine editor Ben Erlichman is the king of networking, so his help has been invaluable in initiating those conversations. From there, it was just a matter of analyzing other conferences I’ve been to and figuring out the most efficient way to imitate those events.
Does Realm Makers have a mission statement? If so, what is it?
Realm Makers strives to provide a faith-friendly symposium for writers and artists who focus their creative efforts on science fiction, fantasy, and all their sub-genres. Whether artists wish to gear their content for the inspirational or secular marketplace, they have a place at Realm Makers.
What makes Realm Makers stand apart from other conferences for writers who are Christian?
The full-conference focus on speculative fiction as a genre is the key factor that differentiates Realm Makers from other Christian conferences. While we do offer some classes on general writing craft, I’m convinced that nowhere else could you spend two days drinking in content that embraces geekdom with one arm and a walk of faith with the other. Realm Makers is a place where an author can talk about his work and about his faith, and the folks at his lunch table will “get” what he loves. (Because let’s face it, many of us have sat at that “mixed genre” conference lunch table and gotten some wide-eyed looks when we explain what we write.)
How will Realm Makers 2014 differ from the first Realm Makers?
Much of the conference will have a similar feel and approach to the first year. We have a powerful faculty with some returning faces and some newcomers. As for what’s changed, we have added a cool “early bird” session that will occur on Thursday night, which involves snacks, public critique, and prizes. So our general approach is to continue to offer what worked well last year and to tighten the areas that were a little loosey-goosey. We’re learning as we go.
What can attendees expect from Realm Makers this year?
This year, attendees can expect to meet 60-100 cool folks who love what they love (We’re hoping for the sell-out at 100), to enjoy first rate facilities at Villanova University, and to hear engaging experts in many areas of writing they might not find at other Christian writers conferences. We’ll also repeat our Friday night awards dinner where costumes are encouraged but not required.
What are the benefits from attending a conference like this?
Learning and building relationships are by far the top two benefits of attendance. For authors looking for homes for their manuscripts, we also have a growing list of editors and agents who will be listening to pitches during the conference, so attending could very well advance some of those writers toward landing that contract. It’s a well-known fact that authors who meet editors at conferences have a much better chance at publication/representation than those who submit blind queries.
What kinds of workshops are in the works for 2014?
The 2014 schedule will include workshops and panel discussions on
the use of science in fantasywhat it’s like to be wounded or to have to wound someone elsethe process of developing graphic novelsflash fictionhorrornetworkingthe role of an agentthe inner workings of a publishing housecreating story-world languagesand more still in development!
Are you going to have a costume banquet and book signing again this year?
Ooops! Got ahead of you on this one, didn’t I? Yes, we are still planning the costumes-encouraged dinner on Friday, though people should definitely feel at ease coming in something from their regular wardrobe. We get that cosplay isn’t for everyone. The programming for Saturday night is still in development.
Do you have any tips for attendees?
First and foremost—even if something makes you feel like you’re going to die of anxiety, give it a go…whether it’s talking to an author or speaker in the hallway, or sitting at a table full of people you don’t know, or trying out flash fiction even though you can’t say “Hello” in less than 2500 words. Judging by last year’s conference attendance, Realm Makers is a great place to take some chances and reap the rewards, whether personal or professional. So I guess my other piece of advice is “Don’t miss it!”
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