Zero Angel Richardson's Blog, page 16

The Day of the Doctor Review: Almost Perfect (Spoiler-free)

If you were at all reluctant to watch "The Day of the Doctor", let me assure you that your fears are unfounded.

Here's a cool shot of all 12 Doctors
And the Amazon link to the blu-ray:


But I didn't notice any of that, so I imagine that the 3D was rather subtle overall.

It's a beautiful film, although short, with plenty of nostalgia and all sorts of timey-wimey happenings that are sure to delight. We see more of the Time War than ever before, which never hurts.

The character of Rose Tyler is fantastic, and is probably my all-time favorite performance of hers. #11 comes back like he never left (note: Hurt is #9, Eccleston is #10, Tennant is #11, and Smith is #12).

It's almost perfect.

I have been having an emotional disconnect with Doctor Who for at least a year now however. I was afraid that it was me, so I went back and watched the Iron Giant to see if I still could feel. I could. Then I went back to watch some of the old Doctor Who episodes (2005+), and sure enough, not only could I still feel, I could still get the "feels".

If you got the feels watching "Day of the Doctor", then I can assure you that you're doing it to yourself.

You know so much about Doctor Who and are so in the head of the character, that you are substituting what needs to be shown in order to get the emotional reaction that you are getting out of it.

This isn't a bad thing...for you. It is a bad thing for the series as a whole however. There are so many people watching the show now because it is "in", that if it does not actually deliver, then those people will forever be posers and never become true Whovians. And that's not their fault.

Hopefully, they go back and watch 2005 to today and see what's so amazing about the show. Maybe, they go back even farther and start watching the best of the rest or read a book of ten.

If you watched the first half of series 7 and thought it was amazing, then there is something wrong with you. I assume it's bandwagon syndrome.

If you watched the show last night, it absolutely was AMAZING, but there is a lack. The emotion is spotty. Sometimes it shows and sometimes it doesn't.

Last night's episode and its content should have completely wrecked everyone that watched it, Whovian or not (so long as they were caught up from 2005). Completely wrecked everyone.

As it was, there was one scene that I should have felt an emotional response that BBC America's pre-show ruined for me (so I don't blame Doctor Who for that, I blame BBCA), but even then, it should have been more potent, more weighty. The rest of it as well, it was less emotional and more sprint to the end, and this has been a complaint I've had with many recent episodes, this one not-excluding.

It used to be every other episode wrecked me or gave me the feels; one of the biggest Doctor Who events of the last 50 years and I got nothing.

Still, it only suffers in comparison, and in many ways is one of the greatest episodes of all-time in spite of the emotional lack.

Zero Review: 9.5/10;  A

P.S. There are two prequel minis that are interesting to watch. I recommend only this one however (the other is good, but not something particularly worth your time unless you're interested in everything Who):

Baby, It's Cold Outside (Warning: You can never unread what you've read—don't read if you love this song)

I love Christmas carols, I truly do, but there are so many of them that have these very perverse, or, at the least, very strange concepts.
I couldn't find a finished version of one of the classic renditions, but here's the Elf soundtrack version:


Anyone else get a creepy date-rape vibe from this song?

The entire song is about the guy overcoming the girl's reluctance to stay later.

You might be saying, "Well, she doesn't say no. She's just offering a token resistance."

But she does say no. Very definitively. She says, "The answer is no."

She finally gives in to another drink, AND HE SPIKES IT.

With what? A roofie? More alcohol than expected at the least. And from that point on, she becomes a little more receptive to his advances.

This is NUTS!

The entire time he's finding excuses to touch her or disrobe her. "I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice ... I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell ... Mind if I move in closer?"

She still holds out, saying all the reasons she needs to go and what does he do? He starts admiring her physical attributes, continually trying to change the subject. When that doesn't work, he starts trying to guilt-trip her saying that she would hurt his pride if she doesn't stay. "What's the sense in hurting my pride? ... How can you do this to me? ... Baby, don't hold out."

OH MY GOD.

Some of the modern versions of this remove the bit about having another cigarette, ostensibly because of the tobacco reference, but they inadvertently remove some of the creepiest parts where he is just completely ignoring everything she says as he becomes enraptured with her "delicious-looking lips".

So let's summarize.
Girl wants to go home.Guy doesn't want her to leave, so implies it's too cold to go (note the difference between "Let It Snow" and this song by the way). Girl insists that she goes home.Guy is physically demanding, finding excuses to touch her and remove clothing that she needs to wear to go home.Girl offers to stay for just a little bit longer (ostensibly because she's doing the "girl thing" of giving in without giving in. Note: this is a bad thing to do). Guy spikes her drink and continually changes the subject from her leaving.Girl continues to insist that she goes home and tell guy that the answer is NO. Guy doesn't even listen to what she's saying.Guy continues to try to insinuate himself with her.When this doesn't work, he starts guilt-tripping her and implying his ardor is her fault and she needs to do something about it. Eventually, he's just so caught up with her physical attributes that we know she's never going to make it home alive or without giving it up. In theory, it's a fun song to sing though. Thoughts?

I'll probably make this a series of rants, err...blogs about Christmas Carols. Tune in next time!

Oh, and here are the complete lyrics from metrolyrics.com for Louis Armstrong's rendition:

I really can't stay
(But baby, it's cold outside)
I've got to go away
(But baby, it's cold outside)

This evening has been
(Been hoping that you'd drop in)
So very nice
(I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)

My mother will start to worry
(Beautiful, what's your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor
(Listen to the fireplace roar)

So really I'd better scurry
(Beautiful, please don't hurry)
But maybe just a half a drink more
(Put some records on while I pour)

The neighbors might think
(Baby, it's bad out there)
Say, what's in this drink?
(No cabs to be had out there)

I wish I knew how
(Your eyes are like starlight)
To break this spell
(I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

I ought to say no, no, no, sir
(Mind if I move in closer?)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
(What's the sense in hurting my pride?)

I really can't stay
(Baby, don't hold out)
Oh, but it's cold outside

I simply must go
(But baby, it's cold outside)
The answer is no
(But baby, it's cold outside)

This welcome has been
(How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm
(Look out the window at that storm)

My sister will be suspicious
(Gosh, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door
(Waves upon a tropical shore)

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
(Ooh, your lips are delicious)
But maybe just a cigarette more
(Never such a blizzard before)

I've got to get home
(But baby, you'll freeze out there)
Say, lend me your coat
(It's up to your knees out there)

You've really been grand
(I thrill when you touch my hand)
But don't you see
(How can you do this thing to me?)

There's bound to be talk tomorrow
(Think of my life long sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied
(If you caught pneumonia and died)

I really can't stay
(Get over that hold out)
Oh, but it's cold outside

Louis Armstrong - Baby, It's Cold Outside Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Best Shortcut First or How the Order of Operations SHOULD Be Taught

I once taught a class that used a book that defined the order of operations as "an agreed upon" order to do math problems!

AGREED UPON!

As though there was some dark cabal of mathematicians meeting secretly across the world to decide how math works.

I cannot begin to describe to you how frustrated this made me.

...oh wait, that was sort of the point of this.


You see, the thing about math, with some obvious exceptions like vocabulary and notation, is that it is not some arbitrary set of rules that are handed down from on high that we must follow or be shot.

The rules of mathematics are inviolate based on their assumptions. They are universally true.

If we meet aliens, the first language we will be able to communicate to them with is mathematics. It will be a common ground for all thinking species because all thinking species are capable of learning math and this math will be the same for everyone.

In science, a science theory is something that is accepted as fact based on all known evidence. It's pretty much fact, but part of the great thing in science is that you know you don't have all the facts, so you can't ever say something like, "This is how it is." You always say, "This is how it is based on what we know."

That's great and all, but in mathematics, we have theorems, not theories. These are facts. Universally true facts that so long as the assumptions to the theorem are true, will always be true.

Period. The end.

The mathematicians of the world didn't get together and decide, "This is how we'll really screw with those algebra students". Math is the way it is because that is the way it is.

The order of operations is not the order of operations because we agreed upon that order. It's not like the order of who gets to go at an all-way stop sign. It works like this:

Counting (or succession) is the simplest mathematical operation we can describe.
Addition is repeated counting. Subtraction is its inverse.
Multiplication is repeated addition. Division is its inverse.
Powers are repeated multiplication. Roots and logarithms are their inverses.

So, if you were to come up with an order of operations for our notation of how we write mathematics, wouldn't you come up with the same one that we did? That is,

Best shortcut first.

Now doesn't that make sense? Which, after all, is the point...

One of the nice things about mathematics, as opposed to, say, English, is that it makes sense. There are not arbitrary rules that exist just to screw with you.

You might be wondering why I don't have "parentheses" included, because parentheses are insufficient. Here, let me pose a problem to you:

You have the order of operations, which is "best shortcut first", but sometimes you want to go out of order, how do you take care of that?

.
.
.

I'm hoping that you said something along the lines of, "why not just call out the ones that we want to do first by like, grouping them together and separating them from the other operations?"

Well, there you go. Groups should be taken care of first. That handles pretty much anything that you want it to handle, from the basic parentheses or brackets which exist only to define groups, to functions, absolute value bars, and a plethora of other math groups.

Now you know how the order of operations works, go forth and multiply.

Wait a second though, one more criticism of the order of operations you were all taught in primary school and one fantastic application of what I just taught you.

Criticism: "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" or "PEMDAS" results in people thinking that multiplication comes before division and addition comes before subtraction.

If you're thinking, "Well of course it does, that's how it works," guess what? You're totally incorrect. First of all, multiplication and division are pretty much the same thing, so they wouldn't be done separately. Don't believe me? Change every division ever into multiplication by the reciprocal of the divisor and you won't ever have to do division again. Thereby removing any controversy.

But wait, there's more. Change every subtraction ever into addition by the opposite of the subtrahend and you won't ever have to do subtraction again! Oh, and just as an added benefit, by changing both of these they will become commutative and associative (which division and subtraction are not).

If you insist on using PEMDAS, please write it vertically like so:

P
E
M or D
A or S

Application of what we just learned: You might be thinking, "Why bother learning how something works so long as I know that it works and I've memorized it?" (If you're thinking that, please try to find the curiosity that you had as a child and apply it to everything in life).

Well, because knowing how something works means that you will be sooooo much better equipped. First, you're not going to make the division/subtraction error I described above, second, you will have no issue whatsoever incorporating OTHER operations.

"Other operations?" You may be asking, well yeah. You didn't think we have to stop at exponents, did you?

We can have repeated exponentiation, called tetration (which is a stupid name, but sounds cool, so whatever). Heck, we can also incorporate succession!

And in fact, we could have repeated tetration, repeated whatever that is (pentation I think), repeated whatever that is, repeated whatever that is, repeated whatever that is, etc, etc, etc.

So if you wanted to memorize the order of operations up through pentation, then you would do the following:

PPTEMDASS or PPTEMDASC

Parentheses and other grouping symbols, pentation, tetration, exponentiation, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction, succession (or counting).

At what point in your memorization exercises do you find that it is easier to understand what you're doing than it is to memorize?

Now, I agree that you'll rarely see tetrations, but you see succession all the time in any more than basic level of math. It's the principle that our summation notation works on after all, and you see it all the time in computer programming, and you see it all the time in anything that ever needs to be iterated. 

Can you imagine learning how to ride a bike by memorizing all of the different aspects of riding a bike? Two years after the last time you tested your memory, do you think you would still remember it all? Would we have a phrase like, "You never forget how to ride a bike"?

Best Shortcut First

I once taught a class that used a book that defined the order of operations as "an agreed upon" order to do math problems!

AGREED UPON!

As though there was some dark cabal of mathematicians meeting secretly across the world to decide how math works.

I cannot begin to describe to you how frustrated this made me.

...oh wait, that was sort of the point of this.


You see, the thing about math, with some obvious exceptions like vocabulary and notation, is that it is not some arbitrary set of rules that are handed down from on high that we must follow or be shot.

The rules of mathematics are inviolate based on their assumptions. They are universally true.

If we meet aliens, the first language we will be able to communicate to them with is mathematics. It will be a common ground for all thinking species because all thinking species are capable of learning math and this math will be the same for everyone.

In science, a science theory is something that is accepted as fact based on all known evidence. It's pretty much fact, but part of the great thing in science is that you know you don't have all the facts, so you can't ever say something like, "This is how it is." You always say, "This is how it is based on what we know."

That's great and all, but in mathematics, we have theorems, not theories. These are facts. Universally true facts that so long as the assumptions to the theorem are true, will always be true.

Period. The end.

The mathematicians of the world didn't get together and decide, "This is how we'll really screw with those algebra students". Math is the way it is because that is the way it is.

The order of operations is not the order of operations because we agreed upon that order. It's not like the order of who gets to go at an all-way stop sign. It works like this:

Counting (or succession) is the simplest mathematical operation we can describe.
Addition is repeated counting. Subtraction is its inverse.
Multiplication is repeated addition. Division is its inverse.
Powers are repeated multiplication. Roots and logarithms are their inverses.

So, if you were to come up with an order of operations for our notation of how we write mathematics, wouldn't you come up with the same one that we did? That is,

Best shortcut first.

Now doesn't that make sense? Which, after all, is the point...

One of the nice things about mathematics, as opposed to, say, English, is that it makes sense. There are not arbitrary rules that exist just to screw with you.

You might be wondering why I don't have "parentheses" included, because parentheses are insufficient. Here, let me pose a problem to you:

You have the order of operations, which is "best shortcut first", but sometimes you want to go out of order, how do you take care of that?

.
.
.

I'm hoping that you said something along the lines of, "why not just call out the ones that we want to do first by like, grouping them together and separating them from the other operations?"

Well, there you go. Groups should be taken care of first. That handles pretty much anything that you want it to handle, from the basic parentheses or brackets which exist only to define groups, to functions, absolute value bars, and a plethora of other math groups.

Now you know how the order of operations works, go forth and multiply.

Wait a second though, one more criticism of the order of operations you were all taught in primary school and one fantastic application of what I just taught you.

Criticism: "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" or "PEMDAS" results in people thinking that multiplication comes before division and addition comes before subtraction.

If you're thinking, "Well of course it does, that's how it works," guess what? You're totally incorrect. First of all, multiplication and division are pretty much the same thing, so they wouldn't be done separately. Don't believe me? Change every division ever into multiplication by the reciprocal of the divisor and you won't ever have to do division again. Thereby removing any controversy.

But wait, there's more. Change every subtraction ever into addition by the opposite of the subtrahend and you won't ever have to do subtraction again! Oh, and just as an added benefit, by changing both of these they will become commutative and associative (which division and subtraction are not).

If you insist on using PEMDAS, please write it vertically like so:

P
E
M or D
A or S

Application of what we just learned: You might be thinking, "Why bother learning how something works so long as I know that it works and I've memorized it?" (If you're thinking that, please try to find the curiosity that you had as a child and apply it to everything in life).

Well, because knowing how something works means that you will be sooooo much better equipped. First, you're not going to make the division/subtraction error I described above, second, you will have no issue whatsoever incorporating OTHER operations.

"Other operations?" You may be asking, well yeah. You didn't think we have to stop at exponents, did you?

We can have repeated exponentiation, called tetration (which is a stupid name, but sounds cool, so whatever). Heck, we can also incorporate succession!

And in fact, we could have repeated tetration, repeated whatever that is (pentation I think), repeated whatever that is, repeated whatever that is, repeated whatever that is, etc, etc, etc.

So if you wanted to memorize the order of operations up through pentation, then you would do the following:

PPTEMDASS or PPTEMDASC

Parentheses and other grouping symbols, pentation, tetration, exponentiation, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction, succession (or counting).

At what point in your memorization exercises do you find that it is easier to understand what you're doing than it is to memorize?

Now, I agree that you'll rarely see tetrations, but you see succession all the time in any more than basic level of math. It's the principle that our summation notation works on after all, and you see it all the time in computer programming, and you see it all the time in anything that ever needs to be iterated. 

Can you imagine learning how to ride a bike by memorizing all of the different aspects of riding a bike? Two years after the last time you tested your memory, do you think you would still remember it all? Would we have a phrase like, "You never forget how to ride a bike"?

The Trencher Solution

Most people that like messy sandwiches and other food usually handle the leftover mess one of a couple different ways (note: by "mess", I refer here to the delicious innards of your sandwich that are exposed to the world through your voraciousness or I refer to the goopy remains of whatever sauces and condiments made up your meal):
If there are breadsticks or other bread accompaniments, then you mop up the mess with the bread. Eating the mess à la carte. Throwing the mess away. Now, clearly #3 is not only a sin, but is also heart-breaking after a good meal. It's akin to throwing away extra body parts after making a new human (...wait, that's not how new humans are made? Sorry, I missed that day in 5th grade when they explained it. I only have sci-fi and horror stories to go off of now).

Similarly, #2 can frequently be a disappointment after the climax of a meal that is more than the sum of its component parts, although rarely the remaining parts are worthwhile.

#1 then is clearly the best solution, and is also wonderful in that it awards additional breads, but it is not always appropriate. I wager that it is most appropriate when you are eating a gravy of some sort (whether that's turkey gravy, spaghetti sauce, or other). What then can we do in situations where only #2 or #3 seem to apply?

I recommend what I call, "The Trencher Solution".


If you're unaware, trenchers are one of the coolest things about medieval living that we really should have kept around. Even better than sliced bread, trenchers were pieces of bread that served as plates.

Let me say that again: a bread-plate.

Just the juxtaposition of those two words cries out for modern-day existence!

Usually, the bread was a hardened bread (or stale according to Wikipedia; I like to think that it was purposefully designed to be hard), but it would become softened as it soaked up the juices throughout the courses of dinner and you could eat it at the end.

The ambrosia that was the bread-plate soaked up the juices AND YOU COULD EAT IT.

WHY do we no longer use this?

Granted, the medieval trencher was not a particularly appetizing thing. It was designed to be a plate first and food second. I've read that they gave them away to dogs and poor people instead of eating the bread-plate themselves...but I think that we could manage to have trenchers that all could use!

I first encountered the idea of a trencher way back when I read The Dragon, the Earl, and the Troll by Gordon Dickson; by the way, a fantastic book in a fantastic series. I wish we could have seen a conclusion to the series before Dickson-sama's death, but each book is self-contained (more-or-less). Still, especially by the end of the series, you could tell Dickson was moving towards something more and more momentous. Link below:
This is the book that also turned me on to the Christmas carol, "Good King Wenceslas", which in my world goes down as one of the greatest Christmas carols in the world, both for ease of singing without accompaniment and how much fun it is to sing all the parts (not to mention that it's actually a second day of Christmas song, which doesn't get anywhere near as much credit as it should). GAH, BACK ON TOPIC:

So the Trencher Solution is to take a hardy piece of bread, preferably toasted, and put it under whatever you eat.

Yeah I know, simple. Did you think I was going to have yins bake trenchers from scratch? I like this because after you finish your meal, you get a nice half-sandwich from the leftover mess, and it's pretty good at catching droppings from your meal.

There is a modern-day equivalent to trenchers by the way: bread-bowls. They can be fantastic when done correctly. My all-time favorite has to be the "Ultimate Fondue" from Red Lobster, which, for some absurd reason, they discontinued (I think because it was too delicious).

OMA Free Again and first "Kindle Countdown Deal" on Arithmetic & Number Sense!

Every semester I try to make Overcoming Math Anxiety and How to Be Successful in Mathematics: The Language of Mathematics and How to Love Math Again free for a few days so all of my students can download it.

For whatever reason, several students said they did not get a chance to download it (even though it was available for THREE DAYS) and asked if I would make it free again.

That's OK though, because it gives me a chance to try out a Kindle Countdown Deal for Arithmetic & Number Sense: The "Basics" of Mathematics We Are Never Taught.
OMA will be offered FREE on Thursday and Friday of this week (Nov 7 - 8)ANS will be offered for $0.99 starting on Wednesday for 36 hours (ostensibly, through noon on Thursday)Then, ANS will be $1.99 for another 36 hours (through the end of the day Friday).
This is a great opportunity for ANS, and I am very hopeful that we will be able to drive it to #1 in mathematics (or at least, #1 in Kindle Mathematics).

Both books are WORLDWIDE BESTSELLERS. OMA is a bestseller in America, Canada, UK, Brazil, Germany, Italy and Japan, and ANS is a bestseller in America, Canada, UK, Germany, Italy and Japan.

Your support is very important to me! If you have any questions, then please let me know. If you don't mind, please +1 and share this sale, and specifically let people know that you think it might help or that you think will download.

Aside: ZAM #2 Algebra and the Algorithm: The Search for Truth on a Journey of Generalization is nearing its final draft and being prepped and formatted. This long awaited third entry in ZAM will be available soon. What better way to prepare than catching up with the first two?

Free Copy of the Internationally Bestselling "Overcoming Math Anxiety and How to Be Successful in Mathematics"

Pretty much what the title says. Free through Friday, 10/25/2013

You can get your copy free through the variety of links available all over my blog and website...OH LOOK, HERE'S ONE:

 
So yeah, if you have an Amazon account (and if you don't have an Amazon account, where have you been for the last decade?), please download this free copy of my bestselling math book. You can find all of my Amazon ebooks here: Zero Angel on Amazon.com.

If you know anyone that struggles in math or has a distaste for math, then please consider recommending my book to those people as well. I write my books both for the student and the teacher in mind, so everyone has something to gain by reading.

Thank you for your support,
~Zero

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete Movie Review—Why didn't they release this first?

A few months back I went ahead and bought the blu-ray version of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children without realizing that it was a director's cut "Complete" edition. Imagine my surprise when I plopped it into the DVD player and scenes I knew and loved were "misremembered" (as I thought at the time).

Then I started freaking out.

Because not only was I misremembering these scenes that I had watched over 50 times before (when I first got FFVII: Advent Children on DVD I had it playing for a month straight), but all of the little annoyances and deliberate confusions in the original Advent Children were COMPLETELY REMOVED.

Here's the Amazon link:


In the original video, there were a lot of poorly constructed, poorly written scenes that glossed over key plot points that left the viewer guessing at what was going on or how everything worked. Originally, I just chalked this up to general Japanese obstinance to constructing something that would be understandable.

(Hmm. Perhaps it's Square Enix obstinance more than Japanese obstinance, but then again, I think any big anime or Japanese video game fan has encountered what I'm talking about. Particularly in FF though, Square Enix seems to delight in misdirection (an understandable decision) as well as deliberately obscuring what the F is really going on (an unforgivable decision...which I end up forgiving EVERY SINGLE TIME).)

But then Advent Children COMPLETE comes out and shows that all of the confusions and obscurations of the original were just bad choices and the director knew it. So he went back and added close to 30 minutes of new footage along with better scene direction/writing (which they call "edits", of which over 1000 have been made). And it's SO much better.

In the original, you could get through it without having played FFVII the video game, and it would have still been enjoyable, but the obfuscations that plagued it made it THAT much more inaccessible. In the complete edition, everything is explained! The disease Geostigma is explained, remnants changing to Sephiroth is explained, character motivations are explained, what happened to different characters are explained, Denzel's existence is explained. SO MUCH IS BETTER. There was also some annoyances stemming from the movie seeming like a cell phone commercial pointlessly, this is lessened somewhat AND actually HAS A POINT in the Complete edition.

The action, as it ever has been, is fantastic. Wonderful, amazing, fantastic. They believably fight Bahamut SIN, a summon monster that easily destroys entire city blocks. It's badass. I would say that the original Final Fantasy VII Advent Children movie strongly influenced how I think magickal/superhero fighting should be and is reflected in my own works, and Advent Children Complete is even better. The final battle is noticeably changed and lengthened for the better.

Some have complained about the English voice actors, but I found nothing to criticize. I think those people are purists AKA douchebags. Seriously, they're synonyms. Look it up.

The Japanese voice actors are fine too. And their words at least fit the lip flapping a little better. I didn't bother watching it in French.

If you're a FFVII fan, get yourself a blu-ray player, and get this DVD...err, blu-ray. There are tons of nostalgia moments to recall, whether it's Yuffie getting motion-sickness, Tifa using the dilly-dally shilly-shally line (which Aerith uses in the original game, in spite of what some morons on online forums are saying), or seeing all of the different limit breaks throughout the battles.

It's not a perfect movie unfortunately. It does benefit from fandom and from at least knowing the basic plotline of the game. It would have been nice to see more of the rest of the group (only Tifa and Cloud are really prevalent, although Vincent comes in a close third to Tifa). Red XIII ridiculously only gets a SINGLE LINE in the movie. If you're a Turks fan, there's plenty of them in there (more so than Cid, Barrett, Yuffie, Cait Sith, Red XIII and Aerith), and I think Rufus features more prominently than Tifa!

All that said though, it's still freaking amazing and strongly recommended to watch even if you are not a Final Fantasy fan. If you like action, steampunk, sci-fi, fantasy, superhero, or anime, it's a must-watch.

Note: I mention steampunk because that is the feel of Final Fantasy to me. It's usually more gaslight fantasy than steampunk, and FFVII has a strong science fiction feel compared to the rest of FF, but to me FF is synonymous with steampunk.

Review: 9.0/10, A-
Zero Recommended

Oh, and there is a quick run-through available of the game in the special features called "Reminiscent of Final Fantasy"; new to FFVII: AC Complete, there is a "Reminiscent of Final Fantasy VII Compilation" which summarizes much of the various additional games that have been released in the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII subseries. Additionally, the disc has the OVA "On the Way to a Smile" that falls between AC and Dirge of Cerberus and has some flashbacks to Denzel's past before Cloud, Tifa and Marlene.

Dresden Files Book Series Comments

The Dresden Files book series by Jim Butcher (available here:


Note: That was me making up something along the lines of what Dresden would say, not a quote.  

Dresden is a smartass. This is fantastic. I have always loved characters that mouth off to everybody. I'm a smartass. My favorite of my own characters (Uriel) is a smartass, and even my hero character starts to develop more into a smartass by the end of Book 2. Smartasses are top tier in my book (PUN). Smartass humor appeals to me more than practically any other type of humor. This is probably why I enjoy Spider-Man so much as well (or maybe Spider-Man is why I'm a smartass).

He appears to be unapologetically modeled after Spider-Man, if Spider-Man was older and magickal. In fact, I'm sure Dresden at least referenced Spider-Man himself at one point. He's also geeky cool and regularly references Star Wars and other geek culture in spite of having to go to drive-ins to watch movies (magick causes haywire on tech in Butcher's universe).

There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments throughout each book, and that is in spite of (or perhaps sometimes because of) some rather tense moments and some good action. The characters are easy to care about and root for, and each book is a strong step forward through the story of Dresden's life. None of these books appear to be just a throwaway or a day-in-the-life attempt. Each book advances the plot in some way.

The more of the series I read the more I enjoyed it, and this is in spite of starting at the end. To date, there are 14 books in the Dresden Files, and it is still incomplete. I am looking forward to going back and reading the first 8 books that I've missed, but I cannot wait for Book 15 (supposedly coming out ~December).

Each of these ~500 page books I finished in about a day, and in at least one case, I finished two in a day. They are easily consumable, but hard to put down. There is no chore to the reading. You are constantly being rewarded and constantly being pulled further along.

In fact, I have nothing negative to say about the stories. They aren't mind-blowingly amazingly awesome, but they are pretty freaking sweet. If you've ever wanted to get your feet wet in the urban fantasy genre, you could do far worse than the Dresden Files.

Review: 9.0/10, A-, A completely positive reading experience.
Zero Recommended

Lightning Reviews: Working through the movie collection Edition

Konnichiwa minna-san!

It’s been an interesting week. Re-twisting my ankle has me couch-ridden and I somehow found the pathos to revisit some of my old favorite DVDs. This is an uncommon occurrence. No matter how much a movie may call to me and how much I enjoy it, the act of actually taking the DVD down from the shelf and putting it into the movie player usually precludes me from actually re-watching them (although for whatever reason, if I see them on TV I will sit through commercials to watch them).

Anyway, today I will throw up lightning reviews of the following movies: “definitely, maybe”, “Blast from the Past”, “Wimbledon”, “The Count of Monte Cristo”, “For Love of the Game” and “Metropolis” (2001). All of these movies “pass” the Zero Approved requirements for watching, which means I think they’re worth watching at least once, but not all are must-haves.

Aside: For the last year or so I’ve been following the convention that commas go inside quotation marks only if it makes sense for them to. I’ve read this is how Brits do it, but even if they don’t, I figure as a professional writer it is my obligation to try to improve the English language. So yeah, screw off if it bothers you.

Here are the Amazon links:




Now that the shine has worn off somewhat, I still genuinely enjoy watching this film. The only portion that annoys me is what always annoys me in most romances. The satisfaction is fugacious, lasting only as long as it takes for the film to flee before the onslaught of the credits. I’d love to see romances where the romance isn’t just the getting together portion of love, but providing the fulfilling gratification that love and a good story deserves.

Zero Review: 8.0/10, B-
Zero Recommended


Blast from the Past“Blast from the Past” is one that may be starting to have a dated appeal. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Brendan Fraser nor Alicia Silverstone since the 90s and I feel that future (or mayhap present) connoisseurs of film will look back at both actors and wonder what we saw in them. Why did everyone and their dog have a crush on Alicia Silverstone back then? She wasn’t particularly wholesome or particularly sexy, so what was the appeal? Was it the combination of all her attributes? Was it just that she was the flavor of the moment?

And it’s not like Brendan Fraser is the greatest actor in the world, still, he’s effective and does what we need him to do, and the role of a 35-year old, fallout-shelter raised, sheltered manboy is perfect for Fraser. In a moment of wonder, I realized that the pretty-boy ex-boyfriend character was played by the amazing NATHAN FILLION, an actor I admire now more than I crushed on Silverstone in my formative years. It’s alarming how young he looks and it really makes you realize how much time has passed since 1999.

Christopher Walken is always welcome and Sissy Spacek plays a heartbreaking and worrisome role as the mother. Any scene with her in it and where she was not well inebriated felt like walking on broken glass John McClain style. I kept expecting a huge fallout from the seclusion and isolation’s toll on the psyches of the inmates, but the film maintains its lighthearted style.

Still, think for a moment just how dark this could have been. They were in a fallout shelter for 35 years. Alone. No sky. Underground. They assumed that the world above had been annihilated and held life that could barely be called that. It could have been really freaking dark. REALLY freaking dark.

Like, darker than the Fallout videogame series which features the ramifications of actual fallout (by the way, Fallout 3 is a masterpiece, 9.5/10, from the makers of Skyrim, a perfect 10/10).

I wonder if anyone’s written a fanfiction retelling “Blast from the Past” as a thriller instead of a comedy. That would be really cool.

Anyway, although I expect nostalgia to influence anything I first consumed in the 90s, I didn’t really feel it with this. Even so, it’s enjoyable and still merits a watch.

Zero Review: A fond 7.5/10, C.


Wimbledon“Wimbledon” features the titular tennis tournament and touts the terrific twosome of Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst as they fall for each other.

…and when I say “terrific”, I mean “inspiring terror”. Although Alicia Silverstone still maintains whatever appeal she had in the 90s, Kirsten Dunst is almost annoying in this film anymore.

Let me say that a different way. I loved “Wimbledon”. I thought it was fantastic. I’ve watched it multiple times before re-watching it this week, and when I was deciding to re-watch old films, “Wimbledon” was not just the first film I pulled off the shelf, but the impetus behind the entire arrangement. I don’t know what happened, but although still enjoyable, I frequently found myself saying, “Are they even trying to act?”

Dunst I can understand. Although when I first discovered her existence I thought that Dunst-naysayers were more hot air than substance, she’s never really given a performance to write home about, instead thriving on the border between cute and pitiable; once her charm has evaporated, you can see some of the merit in what her critics say. In this film in particular, I felt her name should have been Kirsten Dunce (and seriously, who’s named “Kirsten?” Really? I always want to ask people with that name, “Did your parents name you that on purpose or do they just not know how to spell Kristen?”).

So Dunce I could understand, but Bettany isn’t innocent either in the egregious crimes against his profession, and he’s one that I’ve always enthused about. It’s upsetting to watch this film to me now. Prior to this week, I knew it wasn’t Shakespeare, but I was at least somewhat ignorant of the flaws and ugliness of this film, and in other films where I am aware of the flaws at first, I can become inured, but this was a low-blow. A shot to the groin that I wasn’t expecting that has my bowels twisted in knots worse than lactose.

Dunst is believable when she’s screaming and making rude gestures in her tennis persona however, so that was still pleasantly unpleasant. Anyway, although I still enjoy “Wimbledon”, I would warn you off this film unless one of the following applies (1) You’re a tennis fan, (2) You’re a fan of one or both of the two main actors, (3) You’re a sucker for sports romance.

Although, speaking to the tennis, those shots were not entirely what I would have expected in a film that prided itself on realism, luckily…aw crap. I was about to make some crack about England winning Wimbledon, but they have won it since the release of this film, guess I’ll have to make a crack about the Red Sox winning the World Series…what? Seriously? Well shit.

Zero Review: 7.0/10, C-


The Count of Monte Cristo“The Count of Monte Cristo” is one that really swept me off my feet when I first watched it, and I was glad to snatch it up from the bargain bin of some DVD store several years ago. The tale is what you would expect from one of the great classics, and it is still enjoyable today. The acting is OK, the sets and costuming is fantastic, the fights are worthy and it just plain sucks what happened to the titular character to set up the entire film.

Still, I’m not sure where the spark of greatness went. When I first watched this film, I was swept—well, if not off my feet, then TO my feet. I remember being moved. I remember leaping from the couch to regard the climax of the film with clenched fists in fear of what I felt was certain comeuppance to the comeupper (as I have been taught to expect by Hollywood). Revenge is a dish best served with a can of whoop-ass  (if that’s not how that phrase goes, it should be), but Hollywood believes in karma and even though the original perpetrator is assured justice, the arbiter of said justice is usually given a penance for their passion as well (unless they are taking revenge for their wife or child, especially if said wife or child was raped…I don’t make the rules of Hollywood, I just get to watch the drivel that results from it and then be cognizant of the mathematical models behind every bloody film…thankfully, Alexandre Dumas lived WAYYYY before karma got popular in the way gluten-free foods are).

The spark is gone for me from this film now. I still enjoy it, but with a detached regarding (using “regarding” as a noun there in case it threw you). I’m not sure if it was just that I was that much more bloodthirsty as a youth, or just that much angrier, although I suspect that latter. Without as much anger as I had back then, finding solace and empathy with the protagonist as he pursues vengeance to the exclusion of happiness is a chore.

Zero Review: 7.5/10 C


For Love of the Game“For Love of the Game” is a masterpiece. I can’t say enough good for this film. Kevin Costner detractors beware: you will not find ammunition here. Kevin Costner summators, watch away!

The sports action is good without being overbearing or cliché (although a bad call on a close slide to second is a negative in my book and I question the necessity of it). Costner plays Billy Chapel, a pitcher in the sunset of his 19-year career about to pitch what could be his last game as a professional ballplayer. The owner has sold the team and the new owners have already made it clear their first order of business will be to trade Chapel.

So he has a choice, retire or continue playing but for another team.

As he pitches and batter after batter retires, he reminisces about the love of his life and the tumultuous time they’ve had for the last five years.

The romance is sincere. The characters feel real. The sports are the best of what movie sports have to offer. And the legendary Vin Scully does commentary for the game. If you ever get a chance to listen to him call a game, take it, he is the most knowledgeable, most entertaining, best sportscaster there is.

Caveat: It has the pacing of a movie made in the year 2000. Please do not expect a high-octane, no dead spot film. If you do it right, there is a gravity that can be quite fetching to not racing full-throttle to the end of a film, but you have to take the time to smell the roses on your way. If you can't do that, you may get bored.

Zero Review: 10/10, A. The perfect baseball film.
Zero Recommended


MetropolisOsamu Tezuka’s “Metropolis” is an anime adaptation of Tezuka’s classic manga with some allusions and inspiration from the 1927 film of the same name, which also apparently inspired the manga (with a single still of a robot girl, supposedly. Tezuka is the god of manga, or I suppose I should say father, and without him we might not have gotten anime as we know it, which in turn contributed to western comics, animation and film).

The art is faithful to 40s/50s anime style art, but overlays incredible CG backgrounds and objects with traditionally drawn. It’s not seamless, but I doubt it was meant to be. It’s fantastic and contributes to the style and tone in a way I feel is timeless. It’s awe-some, and I don’t use that lightly.

The plot is cliché in the way that the Bible is cliché. Yes, I am aware that it’s been done a million times before, but oh wait, Tezuka was the one that did it first. If you want to know where the Matrix came from, where Blade Runner came from, where anything involving robots, androids and more came from, then you would be remiss in not checking out as much Osamu Tezuka as you possibly could, and “Metropolis” is easily digestible.

In spite of being cliché, it does not pull its punches and is not afraid to make a point with the blood of its characters. You have characters espousing their worldviews in an expository manner, yes, but you also have characters making a stand with little beyond “It’s my duty” as explanation. You have ruthlessness alongside loyalty and love alongside questioning our existence. You have a badass investigator with an even more badass mustache, shady politicians, corrupt businessmen and evil scientists. You have children questing for what’s right in a world that’s wrong. Corruption vies for beauty and money oppressing the workers.

It’s a tour-de-force and in spite of any reservations I may have built up in my head towards re-watching this film, (it’s only my second or third full time watching this film), it overwhelms your expectations regularly. You may be settled and comfortable in its hackneyed-ness, but you won’t be for long. It’s quite spectacular.

By the time, “I can’t stop loving you” starts playing, I’m comfortable that you will have been won over by this amazing achievement of a film that is a tribute to the work of one of the most talented and creative minds of modern entertainment.

Zero Review: 10/10. A must-watch anime film.
Zero Recommended


So what were your thoughts on these oldies? If you have not watched "Metropolis" or "For Love of the Game" yet, I don't know what you're waiting for. They are a necessity.