Mark Steel's Blog, page 4
November 18, 2014
Amazon Goodreads Author 11-18-14 People from Michig...
Amazon Goodreads Author 11-18-14
People from Michigan ask me the craziest questions this time of year. They want to know when I'm driving up from Sarasota Florida to see my new granddaughter. They are curious as to whether I intend to visit my mother in the memory care unit of a nursing home. I reply that it is a long (1300 miles) drive to Michigan. I counter that I just visited Mom two months ago. I try to reason with these people...my granddaughter is just a month and a half old. She won't remember one way or the other if I visited. My mother is a heckuva lot older than my granddaughter, but she won't remember whether I visited her either! I know Mom is getting great care, because my brother lives a mile away and checks on her about every ten minutes. I know my granddaughter is doing fine...my ex-wife is a grandmother now and probably does perimeter checks around my daughter's house every hour or so. Besides, I just got accepted as an Amazon Goodreads author. Apparently not every writer can become one. I have a profile picture to post. I have a biography to update. I cannot do this while hanging upside down by my seatbelt in a snow-packed ditch. It's not safe to drive during a Polar Vortex. I am appalled that friends and relatives would expect this from me. If they press me further, I text message them the following picture. 
I snapped this with my cell
phone camera last Sunday morning.
The tree is in the front yard of my home..
People from Michigan ask me the craziest questions this time of year. They want to know when I'm driving up from Sarasota Florida to see my new granddaughter. They are curious as to whether I intend to visit my mother in the memory care unit of a nursing home. I reply that it is a long (1300 miles) drive to Michigan. I counter that I just visited Mom two months ago. I try to reason with these people...my granddaughter is just a month and a half old. She won't remember one way or the other if I visited. My mother is a heckuva lot older than my granddaughter, but she won't remember whether I visited her either! I know Mom is getting great care, because my brother lives a mile away and checks on her about every ten minutes. I know my granddaughter is doing fine...my ex-wife is a grandmother now and probably does perimeter checks around my daughter's house every hour or so. Besides, I just got accepted as an Amazon Goodreads author. Apparently not every writer can become one. I have a profile picture to post. I have a biography to update. I cannot do this while hanging upside down by my seatbelt in a snow-packed ditch. It's not safe to drive during a Polar Vortex. I am appalled that friends and relatives would expect this from me. If they press me further, I text message them the following picture.
I snapped this with my cellphone camera last Sunday morning.
The tree is in the front yard of my home..
November 14, 2014
Sarasota Private Investigator 11-14-14Do I still&nb...
Sarasota Private Investigator 11-14-14
Do I still accept new cases? Yes I do. Especially if they are interesting. Who doesn't enjoy evening up the odds for someone during a contentious divorce? I just concluded one that involved a politician who was accused by his opponent of moving into a house within the district but not living in it. The house was empty at the time, but the tile floors were being replaced. The opponent took pictures of the empty living room through a front picture window's open blinds. One of the pictures wound up in the local newspaper. The politician contacted me as he was moving his stuff back in. There had been workers going in and out when he wasn't there. He wanted the home swept for bugs and cameras inside and out. I receive one or two calls for this every month. The $75 I charge brings people a LOT of peace of mind. The inside of the home was clean....but the outside WAS NOT! A small video camera was hidden in some front bushes. It was pointed at the front of the house! But this camera also had an antenna...it could transmit to a receiver in the neighborhood! To be continued...
Do I still accept new cases? Yes I do. Especially if they are interesting. Who doesn't enjoy evening up the odds for someone during a contentious divorce? I just concluded one that involved a politician who was accused by his opponent of moving into a house within the district but not living in it. The house was empty at the time, but the tile floors were being replaced. The opponent took pictures of the empty living room through a front picture window's open blinds. One of the pictures wound up in the local newspaper. The politician contacted me as he was moving his stuff back in. There had been workers going in and out when he wasn't there. He wanted the home swept for bugs and cameras inside and out. I receive one or two calls for this every month. The $75 I charge brings people a LOT of peace of mind. The inside of the home was clean....but the outside WAS NOT! A small video camera was hidden in some front bushes. It was pointed at the front of the house! But this camera also had an antenna...it could transmit to a receiver in the neighborhood! To be continued...
November 11, 2014
Art Van is giving it away again....11-11-14When I was Art...
Art Van is giving it away again....11-11-14
When I was Art's bodyguard, his commercials were incessant and everywhere. Late night news shows were punctuated with one after another, promising 40, 50, even 80% off on name brand furniture...provided that Cheap Chinese Chairs was a name brand you recognized. On some radio stations, every other commercial was for Art's Mexican made Crappola brand. It all looked great in the showrooms, but it did not hold up too well in the delivery truck, and even worse once you sat or slept on it at home. Every time one of his commercials aired when we were together, Art always said the same thing "There he goes Maaark, giving it away again. The guy cares more about making friends than he does about making money." In the new novel, God Stole My Daughter, I write about driving Art and the Cardinal to the Detroit Athletic Club. Art wanted the radio kept off. I suspect he didn't want one of his spots blaring in the Cardinal's ears. And now that the auction for his lakefront mansion is over, is Art giving it away again? Depending on who you ask, the monstrosity was built for between 11.9 and 15.9 million bucks. But what did it sell for?!? The rumored 3.7 million? Did Art take a 12 million dollar hit? And whom did it sell to? The rumored local businessman? Did I buy it? We shall just have to wait patiently until the deed and selling price are registered to find out. Incidentally, Art can still not be trusted. If I were the new owner, the first thing I would do is change the locks. The last thing we need is an 85 year old man and one of his concubines sneaking into his former bedroom for old times sake.
When I was Art's bodyguard, his commercials were incessant and everywhere. Late night news shows were punctuated with one after another, promising 40, 50, even 80% off on name brand furniture...provided that Cheap Chinese Chairs was a name brand you recognized. On some radio stations, every other commercial was for Art's Mexican made Crappola brand. It all looked great in the showrooms, but it did not hold up too well in the delivery truck, and even worse once you sat or slept on it at home. Every time one of his commercials aired when we were together, Art always said the same thing "There he goes Maaark, giving it away again. The guy cares more about making friends than he does about making money." In the new novel, God Stole My Daughter, I write about driving Art and the Cardinal to the Detroit Athletic Club. Art wanted the radio kept off. I suspect he didn't want one of his spots blaring in the Cardinal's ears. And now that the auction for his lakefront mansion is over, is Art giving it away again? Depending on who you ask, the monstrosity was built for between 11.9 and 15.9 million bucks. But what did it sell for?!? The rumored 3.7 million? Did Art take a 12 million dollar hit? And whom did it sell to? The rumored local businessman? Did I buy it? We shall just have to wait patiently until the deed and selling price are registered to find out. Incidentally, Art can still not be trusted. If I were the new owner, the first thing I would do is change the locks. The last thing we need is an 85 year old man and one of his concubines sneaking into his former bedroom for old times sake.
November 8, 2014
How rude of me....11-9-14Although the main website indica...
How rude of me....11-9-14
Although the main website indicates that I have published a new novel, I have treated the regular, faithful reader of this blog quite shamefully. I would like to apologize and make amends. If you would like to read several pages from the new novel God Stole My Daughter, absolutely free of charge, please click here. I shall soon post another free sample..
Although the main website indicates that I have published a new novel, I have treated the regular, faithful reader of this blog quite shamefully. I would like to apologize and make amends. If you would like to read several pages from the new novel God Stole My Daughter, absolutely free of charge, please click here. I shall soon post another free sample..
November 6, 2014
New Cell Phone Video Camera 11-06-14I just bought a...
New Cell Phone Video Camera 11-06-14
I just bought another smart phone. Is it the latest and greatest? Not really. It's not the monstrous Apple iPhone 6 or even the gigantic I-wanna-be-a-laptop-computer-when-I-grow-up HTC one M8. Let's face it, those things cost about $600 or you must sign your life away and still commit and overpay on a contract. No, I just have a HTC Evo LTE android phone. I don't need a briefcase to carry the darn thing, it fits in my pocket. I bought it used on Ebay. It came with a 30 guarantee. The seller shipped it immediately and I received it in 2 days. It was advertised as used but it came in the original box, with the original packaging, and still had the plastic screen protector on it. It sold for about $500 new. I probably paid about $250 for it, right? Not even close. I paid $69 for it and shipping was free. Why? Because it is no longer the latest and greatest. This is 2 year old technology baby! It's a dinosaur! It took me about 3 minutes to fire it up and switch my old number and all my contacts over. And the video camera is awesome! It's far better than the giant video camera I had 12 years ago, and it fits in my pocket. See what you think.
I was having problems with my landscaping service. They would show up late or not at all. They made a lot of excuses for their shoddy work. They worked slow and charged too much. All the neighborhood cats used to hang around and watch them, and I am allergic to cats. Not anymore. Not with my new service!
I just bought another smart phone. Is it the latest and greatest? Not really. It's not the monstrous Apple iPhone 6 or even the gigantic I-wanna-be-a-laptop-computer-when-I-grow-up HTC one M8. Let's face it, those things cost about $600 or you must sign your life away and still commit and overpay on a contract. No, I just have a HTC Evo LTE android phone. I don't need a briefcase to carry the darn thing, it fits in my pocket. I bought it used on Ebay. It came with a 30 guarantee. The seller shipped it immediately and I received it in 2 days. It was advertised as used but it came in the original box, with the original packaging, and still had the plastic screen protector on it. It sold for about $500 new. I probably paid about $250 for it, right? Not even close. I paid $69 for it and shipping was free. Why? Because it is no longer the latest and greatest. This is 2 year old technology baby! It's a dinosaur! It took me about 3 minutes to fire it up and switch my old number and all my contacts over. And the video camera is awesome! It's far better than the giant video camera I had 12 years ago, and it fits in my pocket. See what you think.
I was having problems with my landscaping service. They would show up late or not at all. They made a lot of excuses for their shoddy work. They worked slow and charged too much. All the neighborhood cats used to hang around and watch them, and I am allergic to cats. Not anymore. Not with my new service!
October 26, 2014
Very very suspicious....10-27-14I no longer host Hal...
Very very suspicious....10-27-14
I no longer host Halloween parties, but I often attend them when invited...especially if the menu sounds promising. I was invited to just such an event last night. I had attended at the same locale last year and both the setting and fare were outstanding. The graveyard on the front lawn was part maze, part Zombie attack, and liberally posted with warning and beware signs amid the smoke and tombstones. The home was large and sumptuous with a huge screened in pool and food stations scattered throughout the main floor. It was well attended and the theme was Rock Stars dead or alive. I went as Jimi Hendrix. My companion went as Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac fame.
Her costume required, among other things, a set of spectacular bewitching high heeled shoes.
The party was set to begin at 7:00
Late in the afternoon, we gathered our costumes together and set them on the bedspread in my master bedroom.
An hour later, we found this on the floor. Naturally I confronted Nikki, my Doberman puppy, to see if she had any knowledge about the condition of the previously unscathed shoes. She denied everything! She claimed she had never seen them before! She said they were always like that, and we should look into complaining to the manufacturer. She has an honest face, so I know I can trust her...but the mystery still remains as to how the shoes got this way.
I no longer host Halloween parties, but I often attend them when invited...especially if the menu sounds promising. I was invited to just such an event last night. I had attended at the same locale last year and both the setting and fare were outstanding. The graveyard on the front lawn was part maze, part Zombie attack, and liberally posted with warning and beware signs amid the smoke and tombstones. The home was large and sumptuous with a huge screened in pool and food stations scattered throughout the main floor. It was well attended and the theme was Rock Stars dead or alive. I went as Jimi Hendrix. My companion went as Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac fame.
Her costume required, among other things, a set of spectacular bewitching high heeled shoes.
The party was set to begin at 7:00
Late in the afternoon, we gathered our costumes together and set them on the bedspread in my master bedroom.
An hour later, we found this on the floor. Naturally I confronted Nikki, my Doberman puppy, to see if she had any knowledge about the condition of the previously unscathed shoes. She denied everything! She claimed she had never seen them before! She said they were always like that, and we should look into complaining to the manufacturer. She has an honest face, so I know I can trust her...but the mystery still remains as to how the shoes got this way. 
October 14, 2014
The Auction Cometh 10-15-14By now, many of you have...
The Auction Cometh 10-15-14
By now, many of you have heard that the fabled castle on 950 Lakeshore Drive in Grosse Pointe Shores did not sell. The asking price? Only 15 million and change. A few tire kickers looked at the place, but only one showed any interest, and they stopped returning the listing agent's calls long ago. It seems like the demand for ostentatious, over-the-top, outrageously expensive French Castles on the edge of a shallow lake is waning. So now Art Van has decided to auction off his gaudy White Elephant. Of course we can't wait to see who the new owner shall be. Will the auction end with some "There goes the neighborhood" family as the winning bidders? Can one of the turrets be converted properly should the new Muezzin desire to call the faithful to prayer 5 times a day? Auction Day is looming. It is on the 28th of this month. That is a Tuesday. Did they pick that specific day so that the working class would be at work where they belong, and not tramping about the estate? Stay tuned!
By now, many of you have heard that the fabled castle on 950 Lakeshore Drive in Grosse Pointe Shores did not sell. The asking price? Only 15 million and change. A few tire kickers looked at the place, but only one showed any interest, and they stopped returning the listing agent's calls long ago. It seems like the demand for ostentatious, over-the-top, outrageously expensive French Castles on the edge of a shallow lake is waning. So now Art Van has decided to auction off his gaudy White Elephant. Of course we can't wait to see who the new owner shall be. Will the auction end with some "There goes the neighborhood" family as the winning bidders? Can one of the turrets be converted properly should the new Muezzin desire to call the faithful to prayer 5 times a day? Auction Day is looming. It is on the 28th of this month. That is a Tuesday. Did they pick that specific day so that the working class would be at work where they belong, and not tramping about the estate? Stay tuned!
September 20, 2014
The Biggest Whopper I've heard since I worked for Art Van...
The Biggest Whopper I've heard since I worked for Art Van. 9-20-14
Art Van used to lie to me this way, so after it happened I was very, very suspicious. I have a relatively new puppy. When I was writing GOD Stole My Daughter, this young dog provided little assistance. Nikki is six months old and weighs about 60 pounds.
She is a friendly, gentle soul but prone to causing trouble when she can. I don't mind as long as she is honest with me. She has the most winsome smile. Does this look like the face of a pet who would lie? Of course not. Quite recently, a damaged personal item was brought to my attention. I confronted my puppy about it. She was offended by my inquiry. She claimed that she knew nothing about it. She purported to have heard that the manufacturer often shipped this item in the exact condition in which I found it. I want to believe her. I really do. The evidence is just so damning, however. Check for yourself. Tell me what you think. 
September 3, 2014
You killed 14 people with an axe and you want to settle o...
You killed 14 people with an axe and you want to settle out of court!?!? 9-3-14
Joe Zada is going to court this month. The SEC filed a criminal complaint against him quite some time ago. One of Michigan and Florida's greatest Ponzi scammers ever is not going to be able to talk his way out of this one. In spite of all of his protestations, he is going to do at least 20 years. He shall get out at the ripe old age of 75. Federal Prisons do not allow much time off for good behavior. The figure named in the SEC complaint is actually quite low. The actual figure is 298 million dollars! Many ruined retirements. Dozens of kids without a college fund. Hence the title of this post. I am reminded of the attorney consulting his client in a prison cell. His client was accused of being a mass murdered but was wondering about the possibility of settling the whole matter out of court. Joe will try to do the same. He will promise to make restitution. He will claim everything was just a series of personal loans gone bad. Have a nice stay, Joe. I hope they sentence you soon.
Joe Zada is going to court this month. The SEC filed a criminal complaint against him quite some time ago. One of Michigan and Florida's greatest Ponzi scammers ever is not going to be able to talk his way out of this one. In spite of all of his protestations, he is going to do at least 20 years. He shall get out at the ripe old age of 75. Federal Prisons do not allow much time off for good behavior. The figure named in the SEC complaint is actually quite low. The actual figure is 298 million dollars! Many ruined retirements. Dozens of kids without a college fund. Hence the title of this post. I am reminded of the attorney consulting his client in a prison cell. His client was accused of being a mass murdered but was wondering about the possibility of settling the whole matter out of court. Joe will try to do the same. He will promise to make restitution. He will claim everything was just a series of personal loans gone bad. Have a nice stay, Joe. I hope they sentence you soon.
August 24, 2014
The wait is finally over! &n...
The wait is finally over! 8-24-14
I would like to thank all of my loyal readers for their support and their patience. The name of the new novel is God Stole My Daughter. It is 308 pages long and it will be available in perfect bind (sort of a classy looking paperback, but much easier to read) on September 1st, 2014. I will then follow up with an Ebook edition, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. sometime during the month of September. Shipping is free (as always) and it will be in many retail stores in the Michigan area by the end of October. What is it about? Is Art...I mean Max going to make an appearance? All these questions and more shall be addressed in my next post.
I would like to thank all of my loyal readers for their support and their patience. The name of the new novel is God Stole My Daughter. It is 308 pages long and it will be available in perfect bind (sort of a classy looking paperback, but much easier to read) on September 1st, 2014. I will then follow up with an Ebook edition, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. sometime during the month of September. Shipping is free (as always) and it will be in many retail stores in the Michigan area by the end of October. What is it about? Is Art...I mean Max going to make an appearance? All these questions and more shall be addressed in my next post.
